(A/N): We're back with Elaine, Dahrya and Remus, after Dahrya promises not to mention Leo's self-harm. As of uploading this (12:55 am on 13/5/24) I finally finished that third chapter of 2025 (the one with the new pov that I said was being difficult). Yeah. It took me over a week to write that chapter... Greygorry was being a real dick with the whole 'making words happen' thing.
Trigger Warnings: Lots of talk of self-harm. References to child abuse (Cipicia and Leo's relationship is mentioned, and Elaine has knowledge of things that could only have come from Tarea, but he isn't mentioned explicitly).
Elaine
Dahrya seemed to pick up on my disapproval of her motivations pretty quickly- which I suppose was to be expected, if she could truly smell my emotions- but rather than make an attempt at apologising for or excusing her actions, she changed the subject. "You said you were here for a reason," She said, glancing at Remus for a moment- likely because he'd been the one to drop that little hint. "Is that something you're allowed to tell me, or am I going to have to deduce that, too?" I rolled my eyes at her. "I mean, I know you didn't just come here to deliver that letter from Leo- I know you'd do anything to help him out, but you're no owl. No, there has to be some other reason." Unfortunately, she was on to something.
"Well... while I don't mind doing that sort of thing, no- it wasn't the main reason I wanted to talk to you, today." I took a deep breath. "Because of the... thing, I wanted to try to understand certain elements of Leo's life a little better. To try to understand why he feels the need to..." I shook my head. "I figured talking to you and Mia was my best bet, considering how reluctant Leo is to talk about that sort of thing. Or... most things, really."
Dahrya grimaced, but seemed more than willing to help. "I don't know what to tell you," She said, and I shrugged weakly.
"I don't know what to ask." The corner of her lips twitched upward slightly. "Leo says-" I cut myself off, suddenly considering the possible consequences of telling Dahrya- a half-vampire- that the reason Leo- also a half-vampire- chose to hurt himself, was in order to help him stay in control. She narrowed her eyes at me.
"Elaine," She said firmly, like it was a warning, and I sighed heavily.
I glanced at Remus, who looked just as apprehensive as I felt, before I wrapped my arms around my midsection in an attempt to try to hold myself together. To try not to lose my mind worrying about what Dahrya might decide to do with the information. "Leo says that hurting himself helps him keep in control." Unfortunately, she looked reluctantly intrigued. "Remus thinks that's a lie- or at least, not all there is to it. Right, Remus?" Remus blinked, clearly surprised that I was dragging him into this, before he recovered, and nodded frantically.
"Mmhm, yep!" Dahrya shot him a skeptical look. "It's- I mean- Among numerous other reasons," Primarily a gut feeling, but Remus's gut was usually pretty reliable- especially when it came to Leo. "Nothing has ever been so simple with Leo. And if pain was such a surefire vampire control method, then why isn't it more well known?" I winced, fully aware of just how 'well-known' it was- by Hunters, that is. I knew Remus didn't mean it like that- he meant for vampires to control themselves, rather than being controlled by others- but still... pain wasn't exactly a new concept in the vampire community, even ignoring the Hunters efforts... or at least, that's what I assumed. "Even if they were worried about him taking it to the extreme-" Like he currently was. "-you would think Leo's dad, and Shari, and Lisbet- they would've mentioned it, right? You know, like- 'if you're in danger of attacking someone, dig your claws into your palms', or somethi- Ow!"
Remus rubbed his arm where I'd smacked him, and shot me a pained look. I glanced pointedly at Dahrya, and he shook his head at me like he was still confused. "Remus- remember who you're talking to." He softened a bit at that, giving Dahrya a look that was both apologetic, and contemplative.
Dahrya, for her part, clearly hated this. "I'm sorry," She said in a sharp tone- obviously she wasn't actually sorry. "Did I miss the part where the floor was transfigured into eggshells? You don't need to tiptoe around me- the only thing it does is royally piss me off." As much as I wanted to keep on going the way we were going, I knew it wouldn't end well- if only because I was self-aware enough to know that, if I were in Dahrya's position, I wouldn't let that slide, either.
"You're right, Dahrya- I apologise." Remus arched an eyebrow at me in disbelief- was that because I was giving in so easily, or... because I was giving in so easily, right after I'd punished him for doing the same? "Forgive me for being a bit nervous about this whole thing, given the context. I need to trust that you won't do the same thing Leo is doing- even on the off chance that it does somehow make your life a little easier." It was both honest, and a bit manipulative. If Dahrya was so keen on doing the opposite of whatever Leo did, in an attempt to set them apart, then... posing it as a poor choice Leo had made would- hopefully- go further to deterring her from following in his footsteps than trying to appeal to any desire she may have not to have us worry about her.
Dahrya rolled her eyes at me, though I had the feeling it was more to hide her- warranted- concern over Leo's... extracurricular activities. "I'm not going to resort to that," She said, practically scoffing- and then her expression, and voice, turned almost timid. "My mum would kill me." I knew she didn't mean that in the literal sense- just like I knew that part of the reason she was reluctant to say such a thing was because she knew that Leo didn't have the kind of mother that would care about that sort of thing. At least, in any way that wasn't intended to capitalise on his newfound physical weakness, or to like... laugh at him, or something. I mean, up until recently, we weren't even sure if the other vampires- Leo's father and Lisbet included- would respond poorly to such a thing. Dahrya's father may not have been in the picture, but she did have a mother that seemed devoted to her well-being... unlike Leo. Hopefully though, if I was right about Lisbet's feelings and motivations, Leo wouldn't be missing that for too much longer.
"I suppose that's a good enough reason," I said. "Leo says he hurts himself to curb the blood lust. However, as far as I can tell, he doesn't seem to be having that much trouble." She made a face that told me I had limited time before she snapped at me. "When we confronted him about it, he also said, 'everything else'- which, y'know... implies that there are other reasons." She paused, blinking hard for a second before she crossed her arms over her chest- looking a little more willing to listen, even if she was still vaguely annoyed. To be fair, there were very few times where Dahrya didn't look at least a little annoyed.
"And let me guess: He deflected and avoided to the point where you never managed to find out what those 'other reasons' are." If there was one thing you could count on with Leo- other than his compassionate, 'people pleaser' nature- it was his tendency to flee from hard conversations at any cost... at least if they revolved around him, or his emotions. "But you were saying that Leo doesn't have trouble controlling himself-"
Remus cut her off with a shake of his head. "She's not saying he doesn't have trouble, she's saying that we haven't seen him having trouble. He tells us he's having issues- that he's on the very edge, struggling not to give in- but if anything, we're seeing the opposite... especially Elaine." I shot him a sharp look, knowing that he was referencing what I'd told him about Leo feeding from me, and Dahrya eyed us both suspiciously.
"Speaking from firsthand experience," I said carefully. "Leo doesn't seem all that hard to control- er... personally. I mean, he didn't seem to have any problems... knowing when to stop. At least, not when he was with me. Though again, maybe that's just because it was me, on the other en-"
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Dahrya cursed, sounding just incredibly exasperated. "You let Leo feed from you, didn't you?" I winced, then glanced to Remus in hopes of having him back me up, only to find him smirking at me as though he thought I deserved this, for some reason. Maybe I did, considering how I'd tried to prevent him from doing exactly what I had just done. "Elaine-" She sighed heavily. "I'd ask you how you're so sure he didn't just Influence you to forget seeing him struggle, but I honestly don't think Leo could live with himself if he did that to you."
She was probably right- and given how little thought I'd devoted to the possibility, it was obvious that it wasn't something I was worried about, either. "Speaking of which, any advice on how to convince him to do it again?" She flashed me a look that was more confused than it was exasperated.
"Elaine- if you need to convince him to drink from you, either he's doing this whole 'vampire' thing wrong, or you don't taste very good." Oh, Merlin... I hadn't thought about that! He said he'd always wanted to taste me, but what if now that he had, he found he didn't like the way I tasted? Dahrya, seeing my concern, snorted. "Elaine. Obviously, it's the first one- I've never encountered blood I didn't want to drink, and you smell-" She cut herself off, suddenly flushing. "You smell fine, I promise. Just- talk to him. Make it clear that's what you want. As I said, Leo won't deny you anything."
(A/N): I'm having a bit of trouble writing Remus lately... wonder what that's all about?