AN: Sorry for the delay everybody, I meant to upload last night, but had some troubles yesterday due to the hurricane screwing up my dad's flight. We didn't make it home until around 2AM. Anyway, as always, Reviewer Replies!

GodsReader15: Going we are!

Raidentensho: I don't currently have any plans for invocations of further deities, but it's not out of the question, especially now that Jerry knows they're still available.

Curveball: As always, glad you enjoyed! Actually they exist in Fairy Tail world too, the point of diversion in the timeline didn't happen until AFTER their time. Glad you liked the explanation, I was really quite pleased with myself when I came up with the idea to have that be the second half of his backstory. Don't worry, the Exceeds would have to live a few thousand years to get THAT powerful. The one they met in the savannah was a truly ancient sphinx that wasn't a kitten even back in the days of Egypt. Actually, it means Lucy'll be getting to finally find out what her natural caster magic is! (^_^) Regarding who gets keys and the S-Class trials, wait and see!

Lusamine: Honestly, Astolfo's just wacky enough that I'd just as soon expect him to wander into Fairy Tail out of the blue, start hugging people and reveal he's been a member since the guild was founded.

And now, without any further delay, let's get this started!

Chapter 33: Simple Plan

…

Before I could get over the shock of the evil twin Mystogan had warned me about sneaking up on me like that, he raised his hand and I had just enough time to think Oh shit! Then he blasted me backwards through the bar, the wine rack and the wall behind it, right out of the train.

I was stunned enough by the impact, the dozens of scratches and splinters digging into my back, and the way my face felt like it was on fire that I couldn't catch myself with my telekinesis. If I hadn't been at nearly ten percent of my magic capacity, the attack and resulting quarter mile crash into the side of a cliff (because of course he did it as we were going over a bridge) and dropping straight down the last twenty feet would certainly have killed me. As was, I got away with nothing but a bloody face and some bruising. It felt like I might've cracked some bones, but it was nothing compared to how I'd felt after the battle at Mildian or the Lullaby.

I peeled myself off the ground and used my telekinesis to force myself upright as well as forcing everything back into place to hopefully minimize the damage. I got myself upright just in time to see a second train rocket over the gorge, and realized that whatever Mr. Evil Twin wanted, he had back up. I shot into the air and lit my hands like a pair of searchlights, fully prepared to blow the pursuing train to bits.

Then I realized with horror that the train was completely loaded with hostages. Then something slammed into me from above and drove me into the ground at the speed of a bullet. If I hadn't already been holding myself together with telekinesis, the bastard would've ground my face into hamburger as he grabbed the back of my head and drug me through the dirt over what felt like a three mile skid. As was, all that did was make my face sting and really piss me off. I unleashed a full body explosion and ungracefully somersaulted about ten times to kill my momentum, land in a crouch and face my opponent as his grip turned loose.

I was surprised to see that it was Mr. Evil Twin again, glowing with golden light and clapping down at me with the smuggest damn look on his face that I couldn't wait to beat in. "Well, you're quite sturdy aren't you?" he called, "My name is Jellal Fernandes. I'd ask you to stay out of my way and let me take Erza Scarlet, but I have a feeling you're not going to do that are you?"

My response was to attempt to shoot him out of the air, "I KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE. WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ERZA?"

He slid to the side like it was nothing as my light bolt shot harmlessly past him, "I am going to create a world of true freedom, a paradise. For that to happen, Erza must die."

Ohohoho that was SO NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER.

If I had been slightly more rational and sober, I would've gone for a precision strike and splattered his brain all over the inside of his skull or ripped his internal organs out with a portal. As was, his words unexpectedly painted my half-drunk vision blood red, and then I painted the whole area white with a blast comparable to what I'd been throwing at Ajeel and Wall. I don't think I've ever been that angry before, and I've only ever been that angry since a very small handful of times. I was so lost in my fury that I honestly can't remember what happened next, so I'm going to have to tell this next bit based on what I was able to gather from Levy and the others.

…

Meanwhile

…

The projection of Jellal in the car dug a little wax out of his ear with a bored expression as Natsu, Gajeel and Erza all swung at him. Their blows hit nothing but air and Erza immediately realized, "SHIT! He's using projection magic!"

"That's riiight!" Jellal sang as he casually threw a punch that knocked Gajeel flying backwards and then spun and backhanded Natsu into the bar.

"So how is he still hitting like a wagon of bricks?!" Natsu demanded, "And why's a member of the Magic Council attacking us?!"

"He's not a member of the Magic Council!" Erza declared as she drew a blade meant for dealing with ghosts and swung it through the projection's head to no avail, "He's Siegrain's quite literal evil twin!"

"SERIOUSLY?!" everyone else in the car shouted.

"Oh your words cut me to the quick Erza," Jellal mocked as he placed a hand over his heart feigning hurt, "All I want is to use you as a human sacrifice to revive Lord Zeref! That's not so evil is it?"

"YES! IT! IS!" Erza shrieked as she flashed through over a dozen different weapons trying to somehow at least disperse the projection which made a great show of making faces and dramatic gestures to mock her with every useless swing. Then she leapt back and Natsu and Gajeel blew the side of the train car out with a combined dragon roar.

Jellal put his thumbs in his ears, wiggled his fingers, stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes at Natsu, "Nannynannybooboo!"

"WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?! AN IDIOT?!" Natsu roared as he launched a flaming fist at the projection's face.

"Yep!" Jellal declared as his projection spun and put a boot in Natsu's back to send him careening into Gajeel. Then he sprang and planted a kick in Levy's jaw, "This one on the other hand is smart, so nightynight Ms. McGarden!"

"LEVY!" Erza and Dimaria shouted in unison as they lunged to try to protect their friend. Right about then, Jellal's projection took on a very startled look, "Uh-oh…" and disappeared. Erza and Dimaria crashed into each other right as an earth shaking roar of absolute fury rattled the windows and the night sky suddenly burned as bright as day.

Dimaria rubbed her head and grinned, "Whoever that dirtbag was, it sounds like Jerry's about to beat his ass."

She picked herself up and dragged herself over to the window to watch the light show as two streaks of light, one gold and one white, raced through the night sky, slamming into each other and flying apart. So many bolts and beams of energy and pure force flew wildly from the racing lights that the effects of their passing were similar to that of a hurricane. Dimaria allowed herself a small somewhat dreamy smile before turning back to the others with a carefree grin, "Well, I guess that's sorted! Now that Jerry's after him, it shouldn't be any problem no matter who that guy was!"

"Don't be so sure," Erza declared with a concerned frown, "You didn't get a good look at his face did you?"

Dimaria blinked and then went pale, "Wait…you don't mean…"

"MOMENT OF DARKNESS!" "BAD KITTY RESTRAINT TUBE!" "CARD DIMENSION!"

In the space of an instant, all five of them, plus Lucy who had been hanging back trying to stay out of the way since her magic was out of commission, were blinded, bound and sucked through portals. When the darkness cleared a moment later, they realized they had been stuffed into Card Dimensions and Erza went pale as she recognized the young blonde man smiling down at her, "Hi Erza!"

"Sho?" she asked in horror. Then two more very familiar faces leaned into view of her little window to the outside world, "Milliana?! Simon?!"

"Long time no see Erzy-werzy!" "It's good to see you well."

"YOU KNOW THESE GUYS ERZA?!" Natsu and Gajeel demanded in unison.

"Yes, don't harm them!" Erza replied quickly, "They're my friends, Jellal's tricking them!"

"He's not tricking us," Milliana pouted, "You're the one that abandoned us."

"ERZA WOULD NEVER ABANDON A FRIEND!" Natsu shouted.

"He's right," Jellal mused as his projection reappeared behind his three unwitting henchmen. Then all three of them collapsed, heavily unconscious with expressions of surprise and pain on their faces, "But you three have served your purposes very well, so I'm afraid I don't need you anymore."

He gathered up the cards containing the Fairy Tail wizards and shuffled through them, perusing his new captives thoughtfully as he casually ignored their shouts of outrage. After a moment he smiled and folded them together before stepping over to the now completely demolished side of the train car.

Just before taking off, he paused and stepped back over to the bar. He leaned over the countertop and snagged a surprisingly still intact bottle from the wine rack. He quickly checked the vintage, "Ooh, Boscan Red! My favorite!"

Then he shot a cheery grin at Risley's cowering form, "If you don't want to die, I suggest you get off this train. It's going to crash in about five minutes. Tata!" Then he took off, leaving his three so called friends and one very frightened bartender to die, along with everyone in the train he'd hijacked to act as a distraction.

They would likely all have died too, if a young woman in pajamas with a katana and a white ribbon in the long dark hair framing her exceedingly furious expression hadn't thrown the door open right that second.

Jellal didn't care, he was flying through the air gleefully singing in an ear gratingly poor voice. He casually swooped by my thoroughly pummeled, scorched and faintly smoking body to show it off in the bottom of the crater he'd left me in. "And it only took a sonic disruptor spell, one giant meteor and an Abyss Break!" he crowed as horror sank into my friends' guts.

Then he zipped away in a streak of light.

He was long gone by the time I sat up, thoroughly knocked back to my senses and absolutely furious. I had almost been cooked and pulverized in the same instant by that spell he shot at me behind the freakin' METEOR he threw at me. While it actually overwhelmed my capacity for magic power since I wasn't discharging quick enough, my Void Shroud had actually managed to take the vast majority of the damage. It still scorched me enough that I looked like I'd tried to tank Natsu's breath attack and slammed me into the ground before I could devour the last five or so percent of it.

What bothered me a lot more was whatever he'd been doing to set my ears ringing like that. It had totally screwed my equilibrium and been annoying as hell. Maybe he put it together that quick, but I'd be surprised. More likely is that he got lucky, or he'd dealt with a shield like mine before. Either way, I wasn't going to give him another chance.

I wanted nothing more than to go after him, but right about then I realized that someone was trying to stop the two trains with an extremely impressive amount of magic. I shot into the air and it only took me about two seconds to see why: Someone had ripped the tracks up a few miles ahead. They looked like a massive claw had just casually reached under and torn straight through them.

I admit, I was torn for all of five seconds. Chase after the rapidly disappearing speck of light that was my friends being kidnapped, or help whoever that was trying to stop those trains?

It hurt, but I went to stop the trains. Which left me with a very interesting conundrum: HOW THE HELL DO YOU STOP TWO RUNAWAY TRAINS IN LESS THAN TEN MILES?!

The smartass answer was immediately obvious to me: You don't.

For a moment I was furiously hating my own sarcastic inner monologue, and then I realized that the sarcastic answer actually was the right answer. I smacked myself in the forehead, "Duh Jerry…"

I snapped my fingers and manifested a portal big enough for the trains to shoot right past the broken tracks. The two trains shot by and I shot down to fly alongside the engines, reaching in with my Devouring magic and absorbing all the heat to extinguish the fires fueling the two runaway trains. A few moments later as I applied my own telekinesis, the wizard in the first train and I were able to haul the trains to a stop. I flew back up high enough to spot the broken tracks and shoved them back into shape with my telekinesis before flying down to find out who was still left.

If I confronted that son of a bitch again, I was definitely going to need some kind of back up to get Erza to safety, because I didn't doubt for a second he'd have magic sealing stone on her in an instant. He'd probably drug her too in order to keep her from fighting back, and I fully intended to use everything I had to beat him in the rematch, so I wasn't going to be able to get Erza to safety myself. Or I could just snipe the son of a bitch from a mile away and be done with it… I mused as I floated down to the ripped open dining car, "Sound off, who's not dea-WHOA SHIT!"

I was not expecting the flurry of very pissed off magic flying straight at me, but thankfully it was all much slower than anything that smug rat bastard and I had been throwing at each other, so dodging wasn't much of a problem.

…

Meanwhile

…

Levy opened her eyes in her mind space, which she'd manifested as a library, with Erza, Natsu, Happy, Gajeel, Dimaria and Lucy inside on couches and chairs.

"So," Lucy drawled dryly, "Who wants to explain why we just got kidnapped?"

"Apparently Erza knows the guy," Gajeel declared as he turned his gaze to her, "So Erza, care to share?"

Erza looked like a nervous wreck in the brief instant before she buried her face in her hands, "I am so sorry…I never wanted any of you to get mixed up in this…"

Levy saw Natsu open his mouth to press for answers and shot him a glare that got him to pipe down before turning to Erza just in time to find Dimaria tentatively wrapping her in a hug. "It's going to be alright Erza, we're right here. Just… please, let us help you."

Erza shook herself and then took a deep breath before hugging Dimaria back and beginning to explain, "When I was a little girl, I was kidnapped and the village I called home was burned to the ground. I was taken to an island and made a slave by a cult who sought to resurrect the Black Wizard Zeref by building a massive device known as the R-system."

Erza paused for a moment and mulled over her words, "To make a very long and painful story short because we don't have much time, Jellal was my best friend there, and the three other wizards who apprehended us on the train were our cellmates. We tried to escape, and I was pinned as the mastermind. The cultists took me away to torture me for twenty four hours, and before that time was up, my right eye had been gouged out." She raised her hand to cover the eye in question, "This one I have now is a magic prosthetic made by Porlyusica. Jellal broke loose and fought his way to the torture chamber to save me."

She shuddered slightly as she exhaled, "We started a slave revolt intent on gaining our freedom while we still had the strength to fight, but Jellal was captured early on. We fought like our lives depended on it because they very much did, but they had several wizards who summoned monsters to back them up, and our only magic user was Grandpa Rob, a former teammate of Master Makarov. He gave his life to save mine," Erza declared quietly.

She was quiet for a moment before continuing, "That was the first time I ever used magic, and once I did, we were able to finish the rest of the cult off quickly. By then though, it was too late for Jellal."

She sat back and shot her gaze up at the ceiling, "I don't know what they did to him in there, but by the time I reached the torture chamber, he had gone completely insane. He advocated the exact same plan the cultists had, except he intended to win the loyalty of the slaves by pretending to be their savior and treating them like actual people rather than beating and working them to death. I tried to talk him down, but he had unlocked his own magic as well. He murdered the last two cultists standing, the ring leaders, and when I refused to join him, he threw me off the island, but not before blowing up the boats we had all been planning to use to get back to the mainland."

She grimaced, "I don't doubt for a second that he blamed me for it to win over the others and ensure nobody would try to follow me or ask where I'd gone."

Everyone was by now staring at her in horror as she continued quietly, "I'm sure you're wondering why I never told anyone."

"Seems pretty obvious to me," Gajeel replied bluntly, "He was usin' yer friends as hostages to make sure ya didn't bring the entire country down on him right?"

Erza's head snapped up to look at him in surprise and Gajeel shrugged, "Pretty standard for psychos like him. Juvia and I've had to take down a lot of cults and psychos. It was kinda Phantom's specialty, but it sounds like this one you're talkin' about was the biggest and most vicious one I've ever heard of. So," he continued, "I s'pose he's takin' us to that island now?"

Erza nodded grimly, "The R-System requires a human sacrifice to activate."

"And 'cause he had a crush on you, his psychosis has led him to single mindedly obsess over you in your absence and determine you the only person worthy to be the sacrifice that brings about his goal," Gajeel deduced.

Erza's face was torn between blushing and going pale as she and everyone else gaped at him. Gajeel crossed his arms, "When I said 'a lot of cults and psychos', I meant a LOT of cults and psychos."

Erza picked her jaw up off the ground and cleared her throat, "Um, yes, those are probably very accurate deductions. There's more to it though. His twin brother is, as I'm sure you've all realized, Siegrain of the Magic Council."

"And he packs the same kind of magic," Gajeel nodded, "I s'pose yer gonna tell me next that Siegrain's in on it?"

Erza blinked and then raised an eyebrow, "That many huh?"

Gajeel nodded, "That many, which means I don't buy this 'twin brother' business for a second. That projection back there was able to physically fight by using remote telekinesis, which means Siegrain probably doesn't exist except as an alias for this nutjob."

Erza froze and then buried her face in her hands as she groaned, "That explains so much."

Gajeel nodded, "Yep. Anything else you can tell me about this R-System business?"

Erza lifted her head, "Yes, it's insane. The amount of magical energy needed to trigger the spell is over two and a half billion Edeas. You could gather every wizard on the continent and you still wouldn't have enough power!"

Gajeel was quiet for a moment and then, "No, you'd only need nine."

Erza's eyes went wide as that sank in and then Levy all but shrieked, "THE ETHERION?! HE'S PLANNING TO USE THE ETHERION TO POWER THAT THING?!"

Natsu, Lucy and Happy stared at her in shock.

Dimaria threw her finger to the sky with a look of mild panic, "That giant ass magic death ray that Jerry bounced into the moon?!"

Gajeel looked at Levy with a raised eyebrow, "Honestly surprised you didn't put that together before I did."

Levy blushed slightly and then, "You are telling me so many detective stories when we get out of this."

Natsu had been quiet for several minutes, trying his best to listen carefully. Now he lit his fist and smacked it into his hand with a big grin, "So all we gotta do is bust out of these cards, smash this R-System thing to rubble, beat up Erza's crazy ex-boyfriend, and get the hell off the island right? We've got two dragon slayers, Dimaria, Erza, Levy and Happy! Even if Lucy's spirits are out of commission, I'm sure she can break stuff too! And you know Jerry's gonna be hot on this bastard's tail as soon as he stops that train! THIS IS GONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE!"

Gajeel pointed at Natsu, "Give this man a prize, he has deduced the best course of action."

"AYE SIR!" Happy cheered.

Gajeel grinned, "Ok, so Shrimp coordinates and broadcasts our location and updates to Jerry, the rest of us wreck house. If Erza's crazy ex tries to stop us, we all gang up on him and kick his ass. That's assumin' Jerry doesn't catch up to us first because I'm pretty sure he's going to want first crack at the bastard, and he definitely won't lose now that the element of surprise has worn off. Nobody let Erza near him, he'll definitely try to play with her emotions and use it to sucker punch her."

He stuck his hand out with a broad grin, "Everybody ready for Operation: Flip the Goddamn Table?"

"HELL YEAH!/AYE SIR!" Natsu and Happy exclaimed as they put their hands on top of Gajeel's.

"I'm in!" Levy declared.

"Me too!" Lucy agreed.

"Count me in," Dimaria grinned, "I just got this family, I'm not losing a single one of you to anybody."

Everybody turned to look at Erza who was staring at them in awe. "Erza?" Levy asked, "You in?"

Tears started to leak from Erza's eyes as a broad smile split her face, "You've all just taken my worst nightmare, ripped all the fear off it and declared your intentions to burn it to the ground…" She promptly grabbed them all up in a giant hug, "YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

…

Meanwhile

…

After straightening out the four wizards in the train, they proved surprisingly cooperative. They all looked weirdly familiar but I couldn't really be bothered to worry about where I might've met them before at the moment.

I blinked as the very pretty young raven haired girl with the katana and actually rally cute little mermaid and seashell pajamas, who I learned was also the impressively powerful wizard that helped me stop the train flipped out, "ERZA SCARLET WAS ON THIS TRAIN?!"

The rest of us looked at her, "Yeah. So?"

She blushed and couldn't meet our gaze, "Well um, would've liked an autograph…" Then she shook herself and turned back to us with a look that could've given Erza's intensity a run for its money, "So, what's the situation?"

The massive man in the turban who she'd latched onto like a koala going for a piggy back ride blinked and then laughed, "It seems thinking Erza's amazing runs in the family…"

The raven haired girl's face twitched and then she headbutted the back of his head, "Shut it." She shook her head afterwards with a red spot already forming on her forehead, "Your head's harder than it used to be."

The big guy just laughed, "That's because there's a steel plate in there, little sis. It's a long story, but," he sobered up quickly, "The real issue is that Jellal has Erza and if we don't catch up, he'll activate the R-System."

"What's the R-System?" I asked impatiently, "I'm all for happy family reunions, but my friends are in danger and I want to know what I'm flying into before I go beat that fucker's ass." The brunette girl with cat ears and the scrawny blonde guy sniggered and I shot them a death glare, "Something funny?"

They both immediately sat up straight with looks of terror on their faces, "No!"

The big guy cleared his throat, "The R-System is a huge tower designed by the Black Wizard Zeref to perform resurrection magic."

"There's a magic that can revive the dead?!" I demanded.

Simon nodded, "Not easily but yes. It requires a human sacrifice of immense magical power on top of a massive amount of external power as well. Jellal claimed he had a plan for the external power, and the person he's planning to sacrifice is Erza. The person he intends to resurrect is the Black Wizard Zeref himself."

"You were helping that nut?!" his little sister demanded in shock.

"Didn't have much of a choice given that he could've killed all of us at the drop of a hat," the big guy retorted, "Anyway, that's the basics of it. He's probably kidnapped your other friends to use as hostages to force Erza to behave."

I scratched my head, "You said he's the twin of one of the Magic Council?"

The big guy nodded and the cat girl chimed in, "That's right, Siegrain the Wizard Saint."

I tapped my foot, "Well we know that's a load of crap. Siegrain's an alias, so why's he need to be on the…" Something the big guy had said echoed through my mind, "You said he needs a shit load of power for the R-System right?"

"That's right," the big guy agreed, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Ya ever hear of the Etherion Cannon?" I asked dryly as I started rummaging in my pocket.

While the other four started asking questions a mile a minute demanding answers, I called Master Makarov. The screen popped up and I saw Master passed out in a pile of beer barrels with Gildarts and Cana in the same pile. "MASTER MAKAROV WAKE UP! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"

Master made some sleeping grumbles and rolled over. My eyes widened with irritation and I thought for a second, "MASTER WE'RE OUT OF BOOZE!"

Master sat bolt upright along with Cana and Gildarts, "WHAT?!"

Then he realized my screen was hovering in front of him and rubbed his eye grumpily, "Jerry? What's wrong with you, sounding a false alarm like that?"

"MY WHOLE TEAM HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!" I roared, my patience thoroughly gone in wake of the past half hour's events, "SIEGRAIN OF THE MAGIC COUNCIL IS AN IMPOSTER AND HE'S PLANNING TO FIRE THE ETHERION TONIGHT TO POWER A SPELL THAT'LL REVIVE FUCKIN' ZEREF! I AM STONE COLD FREAKIN' SOBER, AND I NEED YOU TO GET ON THE HORN TO THE COUNCIL AND MAKE SURE THAT THAT THRICE DAMNED CANNON DOES! NOT! FIRE!"

Master went ghostly pale as my words registered and he gripped the screen, "Are you sure?!"

"Deadly," I replied icily, "I'm going after the others. There's a chance I can stop the Etherion again if I absolutely have to, but there's a damn good chance I'm going to be busy duking it out with that piece of shit, so I need you to make sure that rat bastard does not get a chance to fire the Etherion! Tell them that there are two dragons slayers, an Erza, Erza's actually probably more powerful cousin, a Levy and me handling it. That's enough to destroy an entire city! Trust me, we can handle one puny little tower."

Master nodded, "I'm on it. Send coordinates as soon as you can catch up to them, and I'll get on the horn to Yajima to warn the Council."

I nodded curtly, "Thank you. I'll send coordinates as soon as I get them." I hung up and turned to the other four in the train car, "You lot stay here and make sure the passengers are safe. I'm going after my friends."

"Wait, don't you need one of us to show you the way?" the big guy asked quickly.

I wiggled the card at them, "Every member of my team has one of these on them which means I can track them. I distributed them after we got separated on the last mission. That asshole could run halfway across the continent and I'd be able to find him."

"You can't just leave us!" the cat girl protested, "Erza's our friend and this whole mess is our fault! This is our fight, you can't just leave us out of it!"

I turned the death glare on her again and told her coldly as she shrank back in fear, "I agree. It is your fault that they were all captured so easily." The big guy, the cat girl and the scrawny blonde all three flinched like I had slapped them and I continued, "More to the point, if you're here not there, then I don't have to worry so much about collateral damage. In case you missed it, this is a demolition mission, and we're all going all out. Do any of you have magic that can knock down a building in one shot?"

They all four froze as I nodded sharply, "That's what I thought. Every member of my team does. So, unless you want to get caught in the crossfire, which will distract us and might give that son of a bitch an opening, I suggest you don't try to follow me. Any questions?"

"You're kind of an asshole," the dark haired girl told me bluntly.

"I'm also kind of royally fucking pissed off and scared for my friends right now!" I retorted sharply, "Getting sucker punched in the middle of a victory party and having all my friends kidnapped right out from under my nose will do that!"

As I turned to leave, I heard the cat girl mutter, "Ya know, maybe it's not so funny to see him lose his cool like this…"

A vicious grin spread across my face, "Oh what's going to be funny is when that son of a bitch finds out that I was fighting at ten percent and drunk off my ass earlier."

I left them with that little tidbit, taking off like a bullet towards where my cards had stopped moving horizontally and were now relatively stationary almost three hundred and fifty miles away. I thought it was a pretty badass little line to leave on. I ran the positions through Archive and quickly relayed the coordinates back to Master Makarov.

…

Meanwhile

…

My team were swiftly ejected from their card prisons, popping up at various points up the length of the tower. Only Natsu and Happy were together because they had been right next to each other. Erza was released inside a cage with a magic sealing enchantment on it just in time for the door to slam shut and the sealing enchantment to take effect.

Erza popped out of the card sitting cross legged with a surprisingly nonchalant expression. Jellal blinked as he noticed it and then passed it off as bravado. He cleared his throat as he climbed the steps to his throne and turned to sit on it, "Well, I hope everybody enjoyed their trip." His voice echoed throughout the tower, "Allow me to welcome you to the Tower of Heaven. Since I have you all here, we're going to play a little game."

"YEAH! IT'S CALLED JENGA!" Erza crowed with a huge grin on her face as explosions suddenly started to shake the tower. Jellal's face went pale immediately as his eyes bugged out and Erza took full advantage of the horrified expression to laugh at him.

A man with very long black hair looked at Jellal flatly as the tower shook like it was under a full artillery bombardment, "Um, excuse my asking but, what the hell did you just turn loose in here with us?" His two companions, a pale woman in a kimono with long pink hair and a katana, and a bare chested mountain of a man with an owl's head sitting on his shoulders, both looked highly unamused as well.

"Five Fairy Tail wizards including two dragon slayers, who are very excited to burn this tower to the ground. I'm sure you've heard of Natsu Dragneel the Salamander and Black Steel Gajeel Redfox" Erza told him with an incredibly smug grin.

The long haired man was still for a moment and then he and his two friends turned a veeery dry glare on Jellal, "Give me one good reason why we don't leave right now."

"You haven't been paid yet and your Guild Master assured me you three could handle that pyro!" Jellal snapped, "Are you willing to make a liar out of him?"

The long haired man swapped a glance with his two companions and then shrugged, "Whatever, we'll kill 'em." He turned and led his companions out the door, "We'd better get one heck of a bonus though! We were told to expect one dragon slayer, not two!"

The owl headed man paused and cast a glance over his shoulder as he strode out the door, "I believe double our initial estimate will be just compensation."

Jellal grit his teeth and the pink haired woman bowed slightly with a condescending smile, "Of course, all debts are void if you're dead before we finish. Have fun with your girlfriend!" she sang mockingly as she turned and strode out.

Jellal grit his teeth as he watched them go, utterly pop-eyed with rage as he growled, "Stupid assassins…"

Erza just snickered at him, "You're just as much fun to tease as you used to be!"

Jellal turned a glare on her, "Excuse me?"

Erza stuck her tongue out with a very smug grin, "You can't kill me or you'll lose your sacrifice riiight? So I'm going to take this time to razz you mercilessly."

"Oh really?" Jellal snarled as he raised his fingers poised to snap, "Well maybe you'll remember my little friend…" He snapped his fingers and the cage was suddenly electrified. He took a certain vindictive pleasure as he clarified, "The same shock modules they used on us when we were slaves."

Erza grit her teeth through the searing pain racing up and down her body. Every instinct and sensation she had lent itself to an agonized scream, but as soon as the voltage let up, she instead forced out a throaty moan, "Ooooh yeeeah…"

Jellal's jaw dropped as Erza shot him a seductive look, "More…" Then she snickered again, "Oh? Didn't you know? I like it rough." Jellal's face matched Erza's hair as he boggled and somewhat resembled a fish dropped off in the middle of the desert.

Erza's laughter pealed out as he tried to pick his jaw up off the floor. Unknown to Jellal, there was an extremely vindictive undercurrent in that laugh, Go right ahead and try to hurt me you son of a bitch. The worse a shape I'm in when the others get here the worse it's going to be for you.

…

11:37 PM, Over the Ocean

…

Jerry? You there? Levy's voice echoing through my head had never been more welcome.

LEVY! Are you guys okay? I'm tracking your cards, I'll be there soon.

Yeah, we're fine, except maybe Erza. Levy clarified, Apparently Jellal, the guy who attacked us, is her psychotic cult leading ex-boyfriend. He must have her in some kind of magic sealing field because I can't contact her.

Three more reasons for me to fucking KILL HIM, I scowled, Anything else I need to know about this son of a bitch before I get there?

Download incoming.

I paused and hung midair for a second as the little golden bar slid across to blue and the conversation the team had in Levy's mind space played through in my head.

I blinked in confusion as something struck me as off. I couldn't put my finger on it for a moment, then it dawned on me and I went ghostly pale, Erza has a glass eye?

I don't think it's glass, but yeah, Levy replied, I had never found out what happened to her eye, she never wanted to talk about it, but I could never have imagined it was something this bad.

My pulse started speeding up, Levy, how long have you known Erza?

Since she arrived at Fairy Tail, Levy declared, Why what's up?

Can you show me what she looked like when she arrived?

The picture popped into my head a moment later and I felt like I might start hyperventilating, and possibly have a heart attack, a stroke and an aneurysm all in the same go. I actually almost fell out of the air before I caught myself, No…

Then I took off like a shot from a gun, NONONONONONONONO!