CHAPTER NINE

4x07 Memoriam

It was a blessing and a curse - being friends with JJ again. Emily was relieved that they seemed to be getting closer than ever, but it made sharing hotel rooms on travel challenging - to say the least. She was like a bad habit - something you know will only cause you pain in the long run but too tempting to resist.

Emily sat down on the couch next to David and put a hand over her eyes. Emily hadn't even returned to their room last night, opting instead to get plastered at the hotel bar and avoiding her problem - the one that was just upstairs, sleeping in her room.

"Late night?" Rossi asked, looking at Emily with raised eyebrows.

"I hate Vegas," Emily moaned and leaned up against the couch.

"Come on, Prentiss, how can you hate Vegas? This is a grown folks playground!" Derek insisted.

"Hey, there's still credit on this," JJ said walking up to them about to hit the button of the slot machine.

"JJ, I swear to God!"

The irony of the situation was that the only reason she got black-out drunk the previous night was because JJ was so hard to be around.

"Sorry," she said with a small smile.

"Who was that guy you were making out with last night, Emily?" Reid said, joining them.

Emily froze. She had no memory of any guy last night. In fact, she had no memory at all of last night.

"What?" she asked, suddenly hyper-aware of a pair of blue eyes on her. As usual Reid meant no harm by his question but sometimes Emily cursed his inability to read social situations.

"Yeah!" Spencer continued enthusiastically, "He seemed to really like you! He bought you four drinks which totaled 33 dollars and 76 cents, I thought -"

"Okay, pretty boy, we get it!" Derek interjected. Emily looked over to him thankfully. Spencer looked around, evidently realizing the awkwardness of the situation. But the damage was already done. Emily risked a glance in JJ's direction and immediately wished she hadn't. Her eyes were burning into hers, a cocktail of emotions in them. Emily had no idea what it meant.

If what Reid was saying was true, Emily was in a darker place than she thought. She didn't want some random guy that she picked up in a Vegas bar - she just wanted something to numb the ache.

JJ had actually been looking forward to having a case away from D.C. Whenever they travelled, she shared a room with Emily. JJ was looking for a chance to talk to her in private. To tell her that she brok eup with Will. It was a good first step. But Emily showed no sign of leaving the hotel bar the previous night, so JJ decided she'd just wait up for her in their room. Around three in the morning, JJ concluded that Emily was not coming back. Briefly she worried that something terrible had happened - but she abandoned that thought. Emily was allowed to stay out drinking at a bar if she wanted to. JJ was not her keeper - she was not her mother - and she wasn't her girlfriend.

But JJ couldn't feel anything but relief when she saw her sitting on the couch next to David the following morning. She objectively looked awful - clearly very hung over, make up wearing off, and wearing the previous day's clothes - but JJ couldn't have cared less.

"Hey, there's still credit on this," JJ said walking up.

"JJ, I swear to God!" Emily said, reaching an arm out to her. Oh it was worse than JJ thought.

"Sorry," she said with an amused smile.

"Who was that guy you were making out with last night, Emily?"

JJ's head whipped over to Reid and then to Emily. Derek noticed and shifted his weight awkwardly on his feet.

"What?"

"He seemed to really like you! He bought you four drinks which totaled 33 dollars and 76 cents, I thought -" JJ's mind was burning. Her heart was beating fast.

"Okay, pretty boy, we get it!" Derek said, reaching a hand out to Spencer. Reid seemed to get the message and shut up, but JJ wasn't paying attention to him. She was paying attention to her. And when Emily glanced in her direction she didn't flinch. She just stared right back, jaw clenching. Emily looked away.

JJ dropped her eyes and smiled painfully. Thankfully, Hotch walked up a moment later, breaking up the awkwardness.

It wasn't until they were on the plane home that Derek had a chance to talk to JJ alone. Emily was sitting on the couch in the far back of the plane and JJ took the seat in the front, as far away as she could, still keeping her in her eye-line. Derek walked up and sat down next to her.

"Don't," JJ whispered when she felt his eyes on her. Tears were beginning to brim her eyes and she willed herself to keep them there. She looked over at Derek and quickly away, "Don't look at me like that. It's okay. I'm fine."

Derek scoffed, "No, you are not."

"Morgan," she hissed. If he pushed this any further she wasn't going to be able to hold it together.

"You are not okay!" He said just above a whisper. Nobody else could hear them.

"Fine! I'm not okay," she said giving him a glare. He looked at her, eyebrows raised. "What do you want from me, Derek? I'm not her mother. She can do whatever she wants." JJ closed her eyes, then mumbled, "and apparently whoever she wants."

Derek didn't say anything more. He just reached out and took her hand, then patted his shoulder. She offered him a half-hearted, fleeting smile and laid her head against him.

"Thank you."

Great. Now she was jealous of Morgan. Emily had noticed their recent hushed conversations and meaningful looks. And now - she was resting her head on his shoulder, holding his hand. Emily knew there was nothing going on between the two of them - after all, Derek flirted with just about everyone - but Emily longed for what he had with JJ. She confided in him. She looked to him for comfort. Emily briefly wondered what was upsetting JJ so much, but abandoned that line of thinking. It was probably something to do with Will - and besides JJ didn't owe her any explanation.

Her memory of the previous night had come back to her a couple hours ago and she almost wished it hadn't. Nothing had happened. Well - nothing more than what Reid had described. And nothing about it felt right - or good. The guy urged her to come back to his room but she refused. And as soon as he realized she was a lost cause, he had disappeared. Typical. She spent the rest of the evening at the bar hoping that if she drank enough vodka, she would forget the whole thing.

Emily snuck a glance at JJ. Her eyes were closed, head leaning against Derek's arm. But Derek's eyes were on her with an expression she couldn't read. Emily looked away and sighed, closing her eyes.