CHAPTER THIRTEEN

5x11 Retaliation

JJ was sitting in her office. Things were starting to feel back to normal with Hotch finally back. The case had fallen easily into their lap and she only had a few more papers to fill out before she was done for the day. Emily was transporting the prisoner and would be arriving within the hour.

They had decided to take things slowly. When their busy schedules allowed them, they would end up at one of their apartments. And while JJ was enjoying the kissing and the innocent intimacy of fully-clothed sleepovers she was longing for more. She was ready. They had talked about having a night in. JJ was looking forward to it.

That's when she got the call. It was Derek. He sounded frantic.

"JJ - there's been an accident. Emily's okay, but she has a concussion. We're just arriving at the hospital. Schrader planned it. He has a partner. Ran Emily and Bunting off the road in a truck. Schrader killed Bunting right in front of her."

JJ was on her feet. Her heart was beating quickly. She trusted that Derek was telling her the truth but she felt like she needed to see Emily for herself. Just to prove it to herself that she was okay.

"I'm coming to the hospital."

"No - JJ. Emily specifically told me to make sure you didn't."

"Derek -"

"Jennifer," Morgan countered. "I've got her. I promise you."

JJ hesitated and shook her head. She didn't like this at all. Emily could be so stubborn sometimes it was infuriating. "Fine," JJ muttered through her teeth. "But you better keep me updated. And tell her she's not off the hook for this."

JJ hung up the phone and rushed into the bullpen. She relayed the information to Rossi, Hotch, and Reid before rushing off again.

"JJ?" Hotch asked. She turned back to him already knowing what he was going to say.

"Yeah, you want his face everywhere."

"No, we gotta find Schrader." Emily felt ridiculous being wheeled on a gurney into the ER.

"The team's got it covered," Derek insisted.

"Don't make me stay here," Emily replied, ripping off the neck brace that the paramedics insisted on her wearing. Morgan rolled his eyes frustrated. "I'm fine, honestly. Pull this thing over."

"Prentiss, you can't even focus. You have a concussion!"

"I saw the guy," Emily continued.

"White, 40s, I know."

"Ok, so give me a cognitive interview."

"Your adrenaline's pumping."

"Exactly."

"Emily, you're in shock -"

"It just happened, it'll never be clearer!"

"How many shots did you fire?" Derek asked.

"Three," Emily responded with confidence. Morgan was being ridiculous. He was treating her like she was a helpless bystander. She was a federal agent.

"You emptied your clip."

"No… I did?" Everything in Emily's mind shifted. It was like her brain was lying to her. She focused hard on what had happened. But she wondered how much of it had been corrupted. She pressed the ice pack harder on her head. She would never admit it out loud, but her head was killing her. She hit it hard during the impact.

It took hours, but the doctors finally got their fill of taking tests and let Emily go. She looked up and saw Morgan walking towards her. She was relieved. The orderly had insisted that she sit in the wheelchair and she knew that she had a better chance of convincing Morgan to let her walk.

"I can walk!"

"Sit. I like pushing you around." Emily started to laugh at his joke but stopped immediately when pain shot like ligthtening throughout head. "Does it hurt?"

"If by 'it' you mean my entire body, then yes."

"Something tells me JJ will be happy to help you with that," Derek muttered quietly so only she could hear him. It earned him a glare and an eyeroll but Derek brushed it off. "They found a truck ditched a few miles from the accident. The front end definitely hit your car."

"I couldn't stop him from choking Bunting…"

"Emily, don't do that."

"He was right there..."

Derek didn't respond. He just shook his head sadly and continued pushing her down the hallway. He knew better than anyone that Emily wasn't going to forgive herself easily. And nothing he could say would be able to change her mind. All he could do was make sure they got this guy.

"Schrader's face is all over the media," JJ reported, rushing into the squadroom. "He's been on the run for almost two hours and we're no closer to catching him." JJ's mind was racing. She was worried and angry and anxious. She wanted to get her hands on Schrader - but she was scared of her own anger. She didn't know what she'd be capable of doing. JJ pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked it for the tenth time that hour. Derek promised he would update her on Emily's condition but there was still no word.

"Hey," Emily muttered from behind them. JJ whipped around quickly, relief flooding her body. She took in how she looked - She clearly hit her head hard because it left her with a black eye. And she had a bandage wrapped around one of her forearms.

"Are you okay?" She asked, fighting the urge to run into her arms. She looked to Derek and he gave her a small nod. JJ took a deep breath.

"I feel like I got hit by a truck," Emily replied sarcastically. JJ smiled - evidently her satire had not been hurt in the accident.

JJ quickly reached for a nearby chair, "Here, sit."

"Thanks," Emily smiled politely, holding eye contact with JJ. They made a silent promise to talk more later. Now all she had to do was make sure Emily made it through the rest of the case without doing something stupid - like letting her anger get the best of her and going after Schrader on her own.

JJ's plan failed a couple of hours later.

"I've got their location," Garcia reported and JJ watched a fire light in Emily's eyes.

"Morgan and I will go," she said quickly grabbing her gun and putting it in her holster. JJ and Morgan made cautious eye contact. "I'll get the keys," Emily said, walking away from the group towards her desk. JJ followed her closely. Emily didn't need to look behind her to know who had followed her.

"You can't stop me," Emily said defiantly, not even turning around. She grabbed the keys to the SUV off the desk and turned around but JJ stood in her way.

"Stop. You have a concussion. I'm worried about you being in the field right now."

Emily took a deep breath and looked deeply into JJ's eyes. Her voice dropped to a whisper, "I know you're worried and I - I appreciate that, but I'm going, JJ." Emily walked around JJ back towards the team, but was stopped when JJ reached out and grabbed her arm. Emily turned back to her girlfriend.

"What, so that's it?" JJ responded, in a heated whisper. She was beginning to feel anger rising. "It doesn't even matter how I feel? Do you have any idea how scared I was?"

Emily broke eye contact and glanced around the room nervously. "We can't do this right now." JJ crossed her arms and her eyes dropped to the floor.

"Fine. Go."

Emily knew JJ was upset. She was going to pay for this later. The anxiety in JJ's eyes made Emily feel suddenly guilty. "Jay - we can -" She sighed. She didn't know what to say. Emily looked around again then dropped her voice to a whisper, "We'll talk about this later. I promise." Emily instinctively rubbed JJ's arm but removed her hand quickly when she realized what she had just done. That somehow made JJ feel worse. Emily gave her an apologetic look and rushed past her back to Morgan.

Morgan looked past her to JJ whose face was filled with worry. Emily caught him looking and when he went to open his mouth she interrupted him.

"Don't."

"What's wrong, agent? You still upset that I killed your buddy? Did he have kids, like this one? Huh? Look at her - she's pissed."

"Don't kill him," the man begged. Emily felt her finger twitch on the trigger. Schrader was obviously trying to get under her skin but it was working. And that scared her more.

"Look at that - look in her eyes. She's gonna. She's gonna do it. Come on! What are you gonna do?!" Schrader turned to Morgan, "How's your arm?" He moved to point the gun at Derek and he was dead a split second later. Emily looked down the barrel of her gun with a hard look. She was frozen for a breif moment before she moved towards the truck to get the other man out.

"You just killed my family!"

"Calm down!" Emily put an arm out to try to stop him. He had a feral look in his eyes. Like he was going to attack Emily.

"You just killed my family!" The man smacked her hand away and lunged at her. But before he could do any real damage Derek tackled him onto the hood of a car. Emily stood there in shock, catching her breath. The unexpected attack had shaken her and she took a minute to regain her composure.

Once Derek had him in cuffs and they were both in the car on the way back to the station, Derek picked up his phone and called the team.

"Hey Hotch I got you on speaker."

"You too, go ahead."

"Schrader's dead. We arrested Muller though."

"Arrested?"

Emily whipped her head over to Derek. Her stomach dropped when she realized what was about to happen. He met her eyes with an apologetic look. He knew what he was about to say was only going to make things worse between Emily and JJ.

"He attacked Emily. I didn't have a choice."

"He attacked Emily? Is she okay?"

"I'm fine, Hotch! Really, Derek pulled him off after a second." But she winced. She could almost see JJ's face through the phone.

"We'll be back in twenty," Derek said glancing over at his partner again. She was staring forwards, emotionless. Derek hung up the phone. "Prentiss, you know I had to tell them."

Emily turned her head to him but didn't say anything.

JJ didn't say a word when they returned. She made brief eye contact with Emily when they walked in but chose a seat as far from her as possible. JJ wasn't mad at Emily. Not really. She couldn't be. Deep down it was fear. It was realizing how fragile what they had was - and how easily it could be stolen. Emily made JJ feel things she'd never felt before. The feeling was addicting. She couldn't lose it. JJ eyed the man who attacked Emily. If he had hurt her, even Morgan wouldn't have been able to hold JJ back.

After a couple failed attempts to hold eye contact with JJ, Emily gave up. She would have to talk to JJ tonight. Emily sat down and watched as JJ picked the seat furthest away from her. Emily did her best to remain focused on the case. She had to find this man's family.

It took several more hours but they finally found a lead which led them to an old abandoned building. Emily watched from a distance as JJ strapped on her bulletproof vest. She was putting on her own. They ended up right next to each other while searching the house. Despite the tension it gave Emily a great deal of comfort to have JJ by her side. JJ stayed with Muller's wife while the others searched for the kids.

Emily was the last to join them. When she came around the corner she was holding a toddler in her arms, rubbing his back gently and swaying a little. JJ was weakened by the sight. Everytime she saw Emily with children JJ fell just a little bit more. She would be a wonderful mother. Even if she'd never believe it. Emily walked over to the traumatized family and placed the boy with them. She turned her head to meet JJ's eyes. This time she didn't look away. Emily noticed JJ's eyes had softened considerably.

Everyone was exhausted by the time they got around to going home. Emily walked with JJ over to her car. Without discussion Emily got into JJ's passenger seat. She would leave her car in the lot overnight. There was no way she was leaving without JJ after the day they'd had. JJ took great comfort in this. Emily wasn't trying to avoid her.

In the elevator up to her floor, JJ grabbed Emily's hand and leaned her head against her shoulder. The touch surprised Emily a little. She had been sure JJ was angry with her - but Emily was beginning to realize it was actually fear. Once inside JJ took her coat off. She watched Emily try to pull her's off wincing in pain.

"Here," JJ breathed, walking behind Emily and gently pulling the jacket off. Emily felt slightly embarrassed that she needed help doing something as basic as taking off a coat. But those thoughts left her mind the second she felt JJ's lips on the back of her neck. It was a chaste kiss but still enough to make Emily shiver. Emily turned to see JJ thinking hard about something. She was pacing slightly, evidently having trouble figuring out how to say what she wanted to.

"I never understood the rule against team members dating. It never made any sense to me. Until today."

Emily breathed out anxiously. Was this a break up? Was JJ ending this? It felt like it. "Jennifer…" Emily didn't want to finish her sentence. She took in a breath and gathered the will to ask. "Are you breaking up with me?"

JJ's eyes snapped up to Emily's in a panic.

"What? No!" JJ rushed to close the space between them but hesitated when reaching out to Emily, unsure where she could hold her and not hurt her. She settled for standing right in front of her. "I know why you went after Schrader. I know why you run head-first into danger. You would take a bullet for anyone on the team. I know why you do all of it. It's why I fell in love with you." JJ paused, emotion swelling in her throat. "But damnit, Emily, sometimes it's not easy loving you this much."

Before she knew it, Emily had enveloped JJ in a hug. Her body screamed at her but she ignored the pain. They both needed this. JJ clug onto her tightly, fingers gripping into Emily's back. Emily couldn't believe that JJ had just told her she was in love with her. It was the best feeling she'd ever felt. And it was terrifying. She had never let anyone love her like this. She didn't know what she was doing. She had no previous experience. All she knew was that she really liked the feeling of JJ's body wrapped around hers. And for right now - that was enough.

"So what do we do?" Emily whispered into JJ's ear. JJ pulled away from Emily.

"I don't know," JJ admitted. "I won't stand between you and your job, Emily. I just - I just need some time to get used to this."

"Get used to what?"

"Being terrified every time you go out into the field."

"Me too," Emily answered honestly. Emily hated the idea of JJ being in danger too. But it was their job. It was more than that - it was part of who they were.

JJ's attention dropped from Emily's eyes to stare at her lips. It stirred a feeling deep in Emily's gut. "I -" JJ cut herself off with Emily's lips. JJ was acutely aware that Emily was probably in quite a bit of pain from her many injuries and tried to be as gentle as possible. But it was proving difficult. Emily opened her mouth and deepened the kiss and JJ moaned softly. She felt Emily's hands run up under her shirt and cognitive thought dissipated quickly. She pulled Emily's body flush with hers and revelled in the feeling.

"Em -" She barely got out between the fervent kisses Emily was placing on her lips. "If we keep going I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

"So don't stop," Emily breathed back into her lips. She and JJ had been taking things slow and she was glad, but Emily's desire was reaching an undeniable intensity. And that was before JJ professed her love for her. Now it was at a fever pitch.

"But you're hurt," JJ argued half-heartedly. Emily's lips were trailing down JJ's neck and she leaned her head to the side, allowing her better access. Emily's hands were running up and down the skin on JJ's back under her shirt.

"I can take it," Emily responded. JJ shivered, remembering the last time she heard Emily say those words. JJ conceded, allowing her desire to overcome her. She quickly led Emily down the hall to her bedroom. Emily's heart was beating quickly. She felt more alive than she ever had.

Once they were through the door, Emily wrapped her arms around JJ's waist from behind and brought her lips to the spot behind her ear. JJ shivered and leaned back into Emily. Her eyes closed involuntarily. "Em, you're driving me crazy," JJ breathed.

"I know the feeling," Emily responded with a chuckle. JJ turned in her arms and pushed Emily gently back into the now closed door.

"Are you sure you're okay?" JJ asked cupping Emily's face with her hands.

"Yes. Please, JJ I need -" her breath hitched a little and she had to close her eyes to think coherently. Emily had never wanted anyone like this.

"Yes?" JJ asked with mischievous innocence. She kissed Emily tenderly, hoping to show her how much she was loved. JJ rested her forehead on Emily's before allowing herself to be dragged over to her bed.