Here we go! It's the big one. I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for so long. It was a blast. WARNING: This chapter gets dark. Please be prepared. As always, thank you to everyone reading this story and commenting. I want to hear your thoughts and feelings. It makes writing so much more fun. Enjoy.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

9x14 200

She was cold. Freezing cold. She couldn't see where she was being taken, but in her imagination it was dark. It was dark and cold and lonely. Or maybe that was just how she was feeling. She was forced harshly into a cold, metal chair and felt as multiple people cuffed her hands and feet. Then they finally pulled the bag off her head. Tivon Askari turned to look at her with an arrogant smirk.

A horrible feeling of acceptance was already washing over her. She would fight this - she would fight as hard and as long as she could - but she had already accepted that she'd never see her wife again. She tried to push thoughts of Emily as far from her as possible. She needed to harden herself. She needed to turn to stone. Because she'd already seen the ending of this particular story. She saw what Askari did to people who didn't give him what he wanted. And she had no intention of giving him what he wanted. She was going to be tortured. And JJ didn't want something that atrocious to exist in the same place as Emily. Askari could do anything he wanted to her - but she refused to let him corrupt Emily.

JJ was no match against the three men that held her down as Askari injected her with some gold liquid. She didn't know what it was - but she knew it couldn't be good for her. She soon lost consciousness.

"You ready?" Emily asked softly. She stood at arm's length from JJ and tried to ignore the loud sound of her heart, beating in her ears. If Emily was being perfectly honest, she was a little nervous. Maybe nervous wasn't the right word… Exhilarated. JJ looked at her reverently before stepping into her space and taking her hand. JJ tucked Emily's hair behind her ear and smiled adoringly.

They managed to make it up the stairs before JJ pinned Emily against the wall and kissed her. Emily smiled into JJ's lips and chuckled.

"What?"

"You're making me feel like a sixteen-year-old," Emily said with a grin. JJ hummed contently against her lips.

It wasn't until nine thirty that Emily started to worry. JJ had told her that she was staying late at the office - and that wasn't out of the ordinary - but they had also promised to have an evening together. It had been weeks since they had a proper night in and Emily knew JJ was looking forward to it. By seven thirty, she was late. But when she still hadn't come home, called, or texted by nine thirty, Emily knew something was wrong.

She tried to convince herself she was just being paranoid. That JJ was fine - probably just lost track of time buried under her usual mountain of paperwork. Maybe her phone died. Any second Emily would hear the jingle of the keys unlocking the front door and she could throw aside her anxious worrying and pretend like none of this had even happened.

But the keys never jingled. And the door never opened. And Emily's anxiety was taking on a life of its own. Because she knew this feeling. She had become so familiar with it over the past couple of months that she almost forgot what it was like to live without it. But in her gut, she knew JJ was in danger. She knew it beyond any rational explanation.

Emily opened her phone and searched for JJ's location. It was her last hope. She stared at the screen. This didn't make sense. JJ's phone wasn't even showing up anymore. It was as if the GPS had been disabled. Emily quickly grabbed her keys.

"JJ's cell still hasn't shown up. I'm telling you Hotch, she's in trouble."

They were walking quickly down a hallway of the BAU. Lucky for Emily, Hotch hadn't left the office yet.

"Garcia's tracking her car now," Hotch said gesturing to the blonde tech analyst typing at the conference room table. They joined her.

"JJ's car is parked on Constitution, Morgan and Reid are on their way."

"Find Matt Cruz," Emily demanded quickly. "He knows what to do. They know each other."

Hotch looked at her with a confused expression. "Of course they know each other."

"No, I mean before."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. It's not - I can't -" Emily stopped frustrated. She didn't have time to explain this to them. "I just do, okay? Find Matt Cruz."

"There's a problem. Chief Cruz isn't answering and GPS on his mobile isn't transmitting."

"That's the same as JJ."

"Garcia, have Reid and Rossi go check out Cruz's house. Prentiss with me."

Emily followed Hotch as he quickly walked out of the conference. He was already on the phone with the director by the time they got to his office. He shut the door and Emily stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. She could only hear half of the conversation but it didn't really matter anyway. She couldn't think straight. JJ was abducted - it was the only thing that made sense. Matt was probably taken too. And, assuming that they wanted something JJ and Matt had, Emily knew they weren't going to play nice to get it. Or maybe they just wanted them dead. In which case her wife was probably already gone.

Hotch hung up the phone and gave Emily his full attention.

"How did you know that JJ and Cruz worked together before?" He asked in a whisper. Emily stared at her boss. Why was he doing this? They both knew how she found out.

"You don't want me to answer that, Aaron."

"If JJ told you sensitive information about a covert State Department operation she could be fired - even convicted of treason…" Hotch stated. Emily kept her face neutral. When she wanted to, she had one hell of a poker face.

"I know that," Emily said simply. Hotch narrowed his eyes. He was fishing. But part of her knew he didn't really want to know the truth. He mostly was saying this as a warning to Emily. "I need to help Garcia."

"No. You need a cognitive. You're married to her - you probably know more than you think you do."

Emily reached to pull at the hem of JJ's shirt. It needed to come off. She needed to feel JJ's skin. To feel the warmth radiate off her chest. But it was hard to focus on JJ's shirt when her tongue was in her mouth. Emily moaned into her mouth. JJ pulled Emily's hips in towards her and Emily tugged at JJ's shirt again. She broke away from the kiss and Emily made quick work of it. JJ wasted no time in removing Emily's as well.

Emily brought her mouth to JJ's clavicle, sucking hard enough that she was sure it would leave a mark. JJ wouldn't be happy about that tomorrow. But she couldn't have cared less at that moment. Emily felt JJ's fingers unclasp her bra and pull it off. Emily wrapped her arms confidently around her wife and walked her backwards until the back of her knees came into contact with their bed. Emily pulled back to look at her. JJ's eyes were blue and dark. Her lips, slightly swollen from Emily's kisses. This woman… this woman was the love of her life. Her best friend. This woman would be the mother of her children. JJ sat down and moved to the center of the bed. She reached out, pulling Emily with her and leaning backwards. Emily followed her.

This had to be what death felt like. JJ was dying. At the very least - this had to be what drowning felt like. Her lungs were on fire. She was choking and sputtering helplessly. Water was being forced down her throat and she felt like a fish gasping for air on a dock. She instinctively tried to turn her head but someone was keeping her still. She had no choice but to endure it. JJ's pulse was racing. Her adrenaline was pumping in her ears. She was in fight or flight mode, and she was being strapped down like an animal unable to fight or flee. She was dying. If she didn't get air soon she was going to pass out. But, of course, Askari wouldn't let that happen. That would be too easy. Too painless. No - she was going to feel everything. He would push her to the edge and then bring her back again. He wanted maximum suffering. That was how he did things. He wanted to hear her beg for her life. But she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

They removed the towel from her face and JJ leaned forward coughing and gasping violently. Water and spit spewed out of her mouth. The handcuffs around her wrists dug painfully into her skin. She was chained to the ceiling, her entire body weight being held by her arms and wrists. They made it so her toes just barely touched the ground. Not enough to take any pressure off her wrists - but just enough to tempt her. It was one of his mind games - and it was working. It had only been a couple hours of this, and JJ wondered if she'd ever regain feeling in her arms.

Then she felt his fingers under her chin, violently pulling it up so that she had to look at him. She hated the feeling of him touching her - but she would be lying if she said she didn't need the warmth from his hand. She was freezing and soaking wet.

"The sooner you give me the security codes, the sooner this can end." She so wanted this to end. But she knew what 'end' meant in this situation and she definitely didn't want that. "Say yes if you understand," he added condescendly.

JJ bit down hard. Until she tasted his blood in her mouth. It brought her a little satisfaction to hear him scream. That was - until he slapped her hard across the face. JJ sobbed quietly. She couldn't even fight back, hanging helpless by her wrists. She closed her eyes briefly but all she saw was Emily. No. She couldn't think about her. She couldn't let her guard down. There was a chance that Askari wouldn't be able to break her, but she knew Emily could.

She fought against it again, but her mind drifted back to Emily. She must have noticed she was missing by now. JJ knew that the BAU was coming for her. But how soon would they be able to sort this all out? The whole point of all the whispering and all the secrets was to make it damn-near impossible to figure out. But still, she knew they would eventually. She didn't need to escape this - she just had to survive. Just hold out long enough so that her team could figure this out. Survive long enough to see Emily at least one more time. JJ closed her eyes again and did her best to hold in a sob. Survive long enough to see Emily. It was her dying wish.

Her hair was hanging down all around her. It was making the already dark room seem even darker. But JJ liked it. It was as if her world had been reduced down to just Emily and the love shining in her eyes. JJ pushed some hair back and framed Emily's face with her hands. Emily's eyes looked focused - completely attentive to JJ's every movement. Emily brushed her lips softly against JJ's.

"Take this off," Emily whispered, tenderly. JJ shifted and Emily quickly unclasped her bra and took it off. The covers felt cold against her bare skin. But Emily was warm. She rested more of her weight on JJ as their kissing deepened. Emily's hands were exploring her skin. JJ raked her fingers through Emily's hair, dragging her fingernails gently against her scalp. She knew that always drove her crazy. Emily broke away from her lips and sighed softly.

"Hotch told me to guide you through a cognitive interview. What are we doing in here?" Derek asked in a perplexed tone. Emily didn't even look back. She rushed over to JJ's old desk and threw open a file box.

"Think about it Derek - JJ wouldn't want to draw attention. She probably has a foxhole right here in the BAU. We just need to find it."

Emily looked around the crowded office that was once JJ's. The files had begun to collect dust. She busied herself opening cabinets and flipping through papers.

"Prentiss," Derek began to protest.

"Are you gonna help me look or not?" Derek looked conflicted but when she turned to give him her full attention, he sprang into action.

"She wouldn't hide anything too far out of reach," Derek speculated. Then he spotted the small safe underneath the desk. He grabbed it and placed it on the desk. "Alright, four digits… Prentiss, what's your birthday?"

Emily looked at him doubtfully, but answered. "October 12th."

"1012…" Derek mumbled as he punched it in. Nothing. "That's too obvious…"

Emily stared at him. She had an idea, but she almost didn't want to suggest it. "Try 2006," she muttered quietly. Derek punched it in quickly.

"That worked." Emily's heart cracked just a little bit. Derek looked at her, confused. She didn't look happy, she looked heartbroken. "What was 2006?"

"The year I started at the BAU," Emily answered softly. "The year we met."

Emily just stared at him silently. Now that she was alone with Derek, in the dark, private room, she felt herself becoming emotional. With the adrenaline wearing off, the gravity of the situation was finally able to sink in.

"Prentiss? Emily?"

"They're gonna kill her Derek."

"You don't know -"

"Yes, I do. Whoever took Cruz and JJ is highly trained and highly organized. Justice, Defense, and State? They wouldn't be on edge like this if this was a simple matter of two missing agents."

"You're worried that the recovery won't be made a priority?" Derek filled in the rest. He sighed. She looked down at her hands and closed her eyes. Yes, that was exactly what she was afraid of - that they would prioritize confidentiality over JJ's life. "Well, that means it's our job to find the leverage that assures it is," Derek said. "So, let's get it done, Emily."

She nodded and he pulled a file out of the safe.

JJ stretched to connect their lips again briefly. She was happy. And she felt so sure about this. She could feel Emily's unsteady breath as it fell across her face. JJ reached down between them and untied the knot on Emily's pants. Kneeling, Emily took them off quickly and threw them aside. She brought her attention to JJ's neck. Emily's kisses were becoming sloppy with desire. JJ could feel her tongue as she traveled down her chest. She closed her eyes and arched her back when she felt Emily's mouth on her breast. Her hands went into Emily's hair, holding her there.

Emily felt electrified by the way JJ was slowly unraveling under her touch. She pulled away from her to study her expression. Her eyes were closed but she appeared to be concentrating hard. Emily smiled a little.

JJ opened her eyes. "What?"

"Just relax," Emily whispered lovingly. She was stroking her forehead with her thumb. It always calmed her down when Emily did that. JJ smiled sheepishly - the truth was, she was a little more tense than usual tonight. But tonight was different. JJ nodded and brought a hand to trace Emily's tattoo. Emily reached for her belt.

She kept her eyes closed. It was becoming too overwhelming to have them open. She needed to dull her senses. Turn off the discomfort and pain. JJ could hear herself muttering something but she didn't even know what it was. Maybe it was the chattering of her teeth. Or the eerie rattling of the chains that she was hanging from. She was shivering so badly, she could feel herself swaying slightly. She had never been this cold in her entire life. So cold she felt like her body was shutting down. But with her eyes closed, she could escape a little. She could see other things. She could picture whatever she wanted - and the image that kept coming up over and over again was Emily's face.

It was as if she was remembering in slow motion. The smile she saved only for her. The look of happiness in her eyes when she laughed. She really was adorable. JJ's lips twitched with a smile for a split second thinking about it. She kept her eyes closed. This probably wasn't wise - divulging into Emily like this. Because it was making her more emotional. It was making her vulnerable. Even the mere memory of her wife was softening her resolve. But at this point, JJ wasn't sure if it was hurting more than it was helping. The image of Emily was also keeping her going.

Morgan blocked the door to the conference room right as Emily was about to walk through. She looked at him with cold fire burning in her eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Emily, you don't want to hear what Penelope found out from Interpol."

"The hell I don't," she interrupted in a seething whisper. "Get out of my way." But he didn't budge. He looked at her like he was in pain. Emily glared at him. Even though she knew he was doing this pout of love, she had absolutely no patience for this. "Move, Derek."

Derek took in a deep breath and against his better judgment, he dropped his arm, allowing Emily access. She brushed past him quickly and he closed his eyes. Emily didn't sit - she stood to the side by the windows, arms folded, looking down at her feet. Garcia glanced in her direction, then at Hotch, unsure if she should begin or not.

"What've you got, Garcia?"

"Oh - uh - according to Interpol's data, Askari is as bad as they get. Highly educated member of the Republican Guard. Caught torturing POWs off the clock for fun." She paused, unable to continue.

"Askari's methods appear well documented," Hotch muttered. "He's organized. He's meticulous. He typically spends 24 hours with his subjects before they break."

"They've had Cruz at least that long," Spencer said quickly.

"This guy uses most of the standard torture techniques. He even keeps his ritual to an established timeline, a so-called perfect methodology evolved through years of practice." David added slowly. Emily tried to count the marks on the carpet beneath her feet. She kept her arms folded tightly.

"No sexual torture," Morgan added. "Maybe he has lines he doesn't cross." His eyes flickered in her direction, but he looked away quickly.

"Typically, professional torturers are driven by a false sense of moral superiority. They don't derive sexual pleasure from the cruelty they inflict," Spencer quipped.

Emily clenched her jaw so hard it began to hurt. She exhaled shakily. She could feel the bile rising in her throat. This son of a bitch wasn't deriving sexual pleasure from torturing her wife - was that supposed to make her feel better?

"Askari isn't just a torturer. He's a sadistic serial killer," Hotch continued.

"And they love getting off," Dave quipped. He immediately looked over at Emily and opened his mouth to apologize.

"Don't. Don't waste your breath," she said hotly.

"Wait," Reid said, flipping open another file. His finger was tracing down the page. "This victim, Nadia Mubari… M.O. matches all of Askari's victims except for one thing." He suddenly went silent. Everyone knew what he was going to say but no one was willing to say it.

"She was raped," Emily uttered. They all looked over at her. For a moment, she thought Hotch was going to make her leave. Finally, miraculously, Spencer broke the silence.

"Maybe she lasted the longest. If his ritual dictates a specific timeline, any new aspect would fall later in his routine."

"So the longer JJ holds out, the greater the likelihood that'll happen to her," Morgan stated.

"How much time does JJ have?" Penelope asked shakily.

"A few hours," Hotch muttered quietly.

Emily stood motionless. She refused to make eye contact with any of them. She was sick of their sympathetic looks. She quickly walked over to the door and opened it violently. She barely made it down the hallway and into a bathroom stall before she vomited.

JJ unconsciously bit her lip as she watched Emily pull off her jeans. It was almost hypnotizing. She could feel her body reacting to the attention her wife was giving her. Emily's undivided attention was consuming. The way JJ loved her was consuming. Once Emily discarded her pants, JJ raised herself into a seated position and pulled Emily into her lap.

She buried her face into Emily's neck, kissing the sensitive skin there. She felt herself falling against JJ. She was supporting more and more of her weight. JJ's hands were gliding over the back of her ribcage leaving a trail of goosebumps. Emily gently pulled JJ's head away from her neck and cupped her face in her hands, leaning down to kiss her.

"I love you so much."

JJ couldn't stop the whimper that escaped her mouth when she saw the car battery. She was sacred. She knew what was about to happen. She knew - but she had no idea what it was going to feel like. After years working with the BAU she had become disturbingly familiar with the typical torture methods used by unsubs. She'd seen this before once or twice. But she'd never met anyone who lived to tell the tale.

Electrocution was certainly not on her bucket list. But she wasn't going to beg - she refused to give him the enjoyment. Instead she set her jaw and did her best to focus on a point in front of her. She could hear them setting up - hear the flips switching, the buzz. She could hear Matt groaning in pain. Whether it was due to his own torture, or being to forced to watch hers, she didn't know. But it didn't really matter either. Her motivation to keep Integrity safe was starting to lose meaning. But her motivation to get to Emily hadn't. Survive long enough to see Emily. Get to Emily.

The pain was unimaginable. It was beyond anything she'd ever felt. It overwhelmed all her other senses. Took on textures and sounds and smells. And for the first time during her captivity, she actually considered the peace of death. It was looking more and more enticing. Her whole body shook involuntarily as he shoved the jumper cable into her stomach again and again. The haze of pain was causing her vision to tunnel and her hearing to mute; she thought she could hear someone crying. Someone was speaking…

"Is that her name?" Askari asked smugly. "Emily?"

JJ hazily watched him glance at the rings on her finger. If JJ had any fight left in her, she would've spit in his face for saying her name. Instead she just hung there, lifeless. Her breathing was labored and it took everything she had just to remain conscious. She had been the one speaking. Muttering Emily's name, softly.

"Emily…" JJ gasped, breathlessly. JJ swore that sometimes Emily had the power to alter time. She seemed to slow it down - and on rare occasions stop it completely. It felt like her hands were everywhere. JJ turned and pushed Emily backwards until she was on her back with JJ above her.

"Jay, what are you doing?" JJ smiled seductively and Emily rolled her eyes.

"Be patient, Prentiss," JJ whispered, lips gliding over Emily's. "You first…"

Derek closed the door and looked pointedly at the couch. Emily hesitated but reluctantly sat down. Derek rested against the desk across from her. Tensions were still a little high between them. Emily wasn't really angry with him though. She was just so terrified.

"Close your eyes, Prentiss." She did. "Okay, now think - was there ever a time where you and JJ discussed her work at the State Department?"

Emily shook her head a little, "Yeah, but she always kept it vague. She never told me anything that could jeopardize confidentiality."

"What did she tell you?"

"All she told me was that she worked with Matt before. And that if anything ever happened to her, Matt Cruz would know what to do…" Emily scrunched her eyebrows and winced in concentration.

"What about her body language? Her tone of voice? Did she ever seem… paranoid?"

Emily opened her eyes quickly. "Derek, this isn't going to work. Let's face it, JJ didn't tell me anything because she was trying to protect me."

"Prentiss, just give this a shot." Something seemed to dawn on him and his eyes went wide. "Wait… you were with her! Before she came back to the BAU. She went with you to Paris, right?"

Emily's eyes broke away from Derek's. He was right. That was the only time Emily had seen JJ while she was actively working for the State Department. When she had dropped everything and flew back to Virginia because Emily was in trouble. Emily's stomach dropped.

"She suspected a double agent."

Matt was dead. And she was nothing but the shell of herself heaped on the concrete floor. Everyone had left the room. JJ wondered if this meant they were going to leave her to die. Maybe they would just let her die in peace. Maybe they would at least give her that.

And then a shadow appeared in the doorway. It was a woman. An angel? No - not in the literal sense. The shadow approached her. It was Emily. Her dying wish.

"JJ… God, you're freezing." She put a comforting hand on her face and caressed her cheek.

"Emily." JJ's voice came as a whimper. "How did you find me?"

"It doesn't matter," she said soothingly.

JJ felt the warmth of her hand as her thumb stroked her forehead. It felt like an elixir. Just that simple touch was bringing her back from the edge of the abyss. Her warmth was spreading throughout JJ's entire body. But it wasn't enough. She needed more. There was no other person JJ would've rather seen in that moment. All she had wanted for hours was to see Emily just one more time before she died. Was this a sign? Was Emily telling her to let go? She looked like an angel to JJ. Perhaps this really was death. But with Emily here, she felt a little stronger. With Emily here she could fight just a little more. Because nothing felt done. Nothing felt finished between them. JJ wasn't ready to stop loving her yet.

Logically, it didn't make sense that Emily would be here alone. She didn't have her gun or her vest on. If this was really her, the team would be here too. But JJ didn't care… Because if she really was dying, this was giving her hope that maybe heaven was real. Because if it was - she knew Emily would be there.

"It's taking everything," JJ confessed, her composure breaking. "I can't… I think I might break."

"You have to break," Emily responded. But that didn't make sense. Emily would never tell her to give up.

"No, I…" JJ blinked and Emily was gone. Matt had taken her place. It was now his hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes, hoping that Emily would come back, but she didn't.

"This has to end."

"Matt - How did you - I thought you were dead."

"I know. They're trying to break you."

"I…" JJ began to cry. She was so happy that Matt was still here - but so upset that Emily wasn't. The tears in her eyes didn't feel warm. They were cold. She was dying. "I must be seeing things…"

"The time has come to give up your security codes."

JJ watched her wife. She knew Emily wanted to focus on JJ - make this about her. But this was about both of them. This was about their future. And JJ wanted to watch her.

Emily's breathing was labored. She tried to keep her eyes open but it was becoming difficult. JJ knew her wife well enough to know that was her tell. She was close.

"Jay…"

"I've got you," she whispered back, sloppily kissing Emily's jaw and neck. "I've got you, Em."

Emily wrapped her arms around JJ's neck. With her, Emily felt secure. Never self conscious. JJ kissed her while she came undone.

"Prentiss, you're out."

"No, I'm not," she responded with cold intensity.

"Emily -"

"Hotch!" She interrupted him angrily. Aaron Hotchner went silent and Emily took in a breath, recollecting herself. "I have been walking behind a badge for over a decade. We spend hours - days - hunting down sociopaths. And there's always another one to take their place. We can't win… But, if we're lucky, we can find a place to make a stand. This is my spot, Hotch."

Aaron didn't say another word. Emily followed him.

It was ethereal - almost spiritual. Emily watched JJ's eyes dilate as she did it. In all actuality it was a clinic process, but when it was just the two of them - alone, in their room, in their bed - so in love with each other - it didn't feel clinical.

JJ lay on her back. She closed her eyes. The mattress shifted as Emily stretched to the nightstand. JJ kept her eyes closed. She was coming down from the high Emily had given her and the gravity of what they had just done was slowly replacing it. She smiled to herself. It was very possible that their lives were about to change forever. It made her both nervous and excited.

Emily came back and her body pressed up against her again. She sighed, happily. JJ felt Emily's lips tenderly kissing the side of her neck. Her arm was thrown across her body, pulling JJ into her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. Emily shifted a little before closing her eyes and settling comfortably against JJ.

"You can threaten to kill me… Matt won't give you what you want."

"Don't I know it," he said in a sickening whisper. JJ felt her arms being forced above her head again. She was hanging again, swaying painfully by her wrists. The skin there had been rubbed raw. "But I also know you, Matt. And what line you won't let me cross."

JJ felt his hands on the back of her thighs. His fingers glided up to her waist. She was going to be sick. No one else had touched her like that since she'd started dating Emily. And she never wanted anyone else to. Just when she thought she couldn't be more scared - she was. "Jareau is your achilles heel. And I don't blame you. She is an attractive woman." He had his hand on her face now. JJ tried to pull away but his grip was too strong.

"Don't touch her, you sick son of a bitch!"

"I want Integrity!" He yelled at Matt. "She's the price." He turned his attention back to her. "I know about your wife. I know you and Emily are trying for a baby. That's truly beautiful," he said sarcastically.

JJ felt the last bit of warmth leave her body. He knew about Emily. And he knew they wanted a baby. Nobody knew that. Nobody. They had only visited the clinic two times - and that was months ago. He had been watching her for months. He had been watching Emily for months.

"Maybe…" His hand began traveling down her body to rest on her stomach. "I can make you one."

JJ was shaking with disgust and fear. The image of Emily behind her eyes no longer brought her comfort. She didn't want Emily here for this. She didn't want her to ever know about what was about to happen. She tried to prepare herself for it, but how could she? She felt his hands fiddling with the buttons on her shirt - undoing them with painful precision. She didn't know which was better - keeping her eyes open or keeping them closed. Because with them open she saw Hastings. But with them closed she saw Emily. And she couldn't face her. Not like this. Not with his hands touching her in a way that was meant for her. She felt herself making comparisons between them - between the way it felt to be touched by them. She was repulsed by her own thoughts.

"Take your time, Matt. I've been thinking about this for years."

"Matt, don't. I'm fine. I'm fine." JJ said. But he was done with her shirt and he was moving on to the button of her pants. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop her voice from shaking. His hand was in her pants. Nothing about this was fine. JJ wasn't fine. And she wasn't going to be fine for a very long time. JJ winced and did her best to recoil away from him, but it was a fruitless fight. She was chained to the ceiling. He had all the power. JJ felt the tears forming in her eyes as she let out a small whimper of fear.

"Okay, okay, that's it. Just stop!" Matt screamed. JJ turned her head to hide her eyes behind her arm. This felt horrible - to give in after everything they had been through. But it would be a lie to say she wasn't grateful that Hastings' hands moved away from her waist. The button of her pants was still undone and her fly was still unzipped, but he wasn't touching her anymore. It was an instant relief. He held her face between his hands briefly with a smug smile before walking over to Matt.

That's when the lights went out. Hastings ran out of the room as quickly as he'd come. Askari stayed. In the distance she thought she could hear gunfire. She knew BAU had found them. But she also knew what happened when an animal was backed into a corner. And Askari was definitely an animal. JJ watched him plunge a knife into Matt's stomach. JJ watched the blood pool beneath him. Then Askari turned to her, knife still in hand.

"No… no!"

Two shots, and Askari fell to the floor. JJ took in a shuddering breath. Next thing she knew, there was a hand on her back. It was a familiar touch. It was impossible to mistake. It was Emily.

She wasted no time digging for the keys to the handcuffs that chained her wife to the ceiling. JJ was reluctant to believe her own senses. This could be another hallucination. She didn't want to let herself get her hopes up. But Emily seemed so real.

"Shh… shh," she said comfortingly. JJ finally let her arms down and rested a hand on Emily's shoulder as she uncuffed her feet. "Are you okay?" It seemed like a ridiculous question. Just looking at JJ, Emily knew she was far from okay. She looked exhausted. She looked devastated.

The following couple of minutes passed in a haze. Hastings was dead. JJ wasn't. That was mostly what Emily cared about. Everything else was just details. She held most of JJ's body weight as they slowly made their way down from the roof. Neither said anything. It wasn't until she spotted Matt in the ambulance that she broke away from Emily. Emily reluctantly let her go.

She sat next to him, "Matt, what you did…"

"I had your back. Always did."

JJ smiled sadly. "Thank you."

"Jennifer…"

"Get some rest," she said, interrupting him. She knew what he was going to say. But she also knew that there was no way she could ever reciprocate how he felt.

"The family of Jennifer Jareau?"

Every head turned first to the doctor, then to Emily. She took in an anxious breath and stood.

"I'm Agent Prentiss. I'm her wife," Emily murmured in a small voice. Something changed the doctor's eyes. It was as if he was holding the weight of some invisible entity on his shoulders.

"Agent - would you follow me please?"

He led her through a door into an empty hallway. Emily looked at him with concern. Something was wrong - she could feel it.

"Agent Jareau sustained a multitude of injuries in addition to clear psychological trauma."

"What did they do to her?"

"When you brought her in, her core body temp was low. And she had taken a pretty severe beating. There's also evidence of repeated electrocution." Emily winced. She wanted to throw up. She nodded to herself trying to digest the information.

"That's what we expected," Emily muttered quietly.

"Agent?" The doctor's voice changed. It became soft and quiet. "There's something else - I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this but -" This was the moment. This was the moment she found out that her wife had been raped. Emily wasn't prepared for it. "She lost the baby," he finished.

Emily's head whipped up. That was certainly not what she was expecting him to say. Baby. What baby? Emily's sadness turned into confusion. "Wait - hang on - what are you talking about?"

"Your wife had a miscarriage. Likely due to the stress that the torture put her body through."

"JJ's not pregnant," Emily said quickly with a nervous smile. This was a joke right? Some weird, horribly-insensitive joke? But no one was laughing. The doctor looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Were you two… trying?" He asked carefully.

"I mean - yeah, but that was months ago. She would've told me."

Then it dawned on Emily. There were only two possible explanations for this. She didn't know which was better. The doctor shifted awkwardly on his feet.

"Is she awake?"

"Yes, but disoriented. They're situating her in a room right now. You can see her in about 15 minutes." Emily nodded silently. "I'm very sorry for your loss, Agent Prentiss."

Emily watched the doctor smile tightly and began to walk away.

"Doctor?" He stopped and turned to face her. "I want to be the one to tell her. Please?"

"Of course…"

She didn't move. She just continued to stare ahead. There were only two possible explanations… either JJ knew she was pregnant and hadn't told her or… she didn't even know herself. But either way, Emily was going to have to tell her already traumatized wife that on top of everything else, they just lost a baby. Emily ran a hand through her hair. She wasn't sure she was strong enough for this. She hated that feeling of uncertainty.

The grief quickly became hard to bear. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Emily went into the closest bathroom and leaned against the counter. She stared at herself in the mirror and watched herself cry. She had 15 minutes to fall apart and then she had to pull herself together. For JJ's sake.

As Emily was guided down the hall towards JJ's hospital room, the grief began to transform. Now it was a block of cement - sinking deep into the pit of her stomach. It felt terrible. JJ's eyes brightened slightly upon seeing her and Emily hoped she could be what JJ needed.

"Hey," JJ said quietly. She was vaguely disconcerted by the expression on Emily's face. Emily looked terrified - JJ saw it. But she hadn't really expected anything else.

"Hey," Emily breathed. She pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down.

"How's Matt?"

"He's good… He's gonna be okay."

JJ hesitated and broke her eyes away from Emily to stare forward. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and JJ wiped them away quickly.

"Am I gonna be okay?"

She had absolutely no idea how to answer that question. Emily swallowed thickly and frowned. This hurt so much. And she knew it would likely be worse for JJ.

"Jennifer -" Emily's voice faltered.

"Just tell me," JJ breathed back, turning her head back to gaze at her. Emily seemed surprised.

JJ didn't know what was going on - but she knew something was wrong. Very, very wrong. Emily's jaw tightened, unsure how to begin. She looked away from JJ and opened her mouth. No words came out. Emily closed her eyes and then tried again.

"Jay… what Askari did to you, put a lot of stress on your body." JJ looked at her perplexed. Her heart was racing. Emily looked like she was going to be sick. "The doctors said that you were 3 months pregnant."

JJ's eyes were darting around quickly, studying Emily's face. Her brain couldn't comprehend what her wife was saying. Emily didn't continue. She had gone silent. She was just staring back at her with a look that JJ knew would someday be the centerpiece of her nightmares.

"I'm pregnant?" JJ asked, slowly. A tear slipped from Emily's eye. She dropped her head and wiped it away quickly, grimacing a little.

"No," she responded in a small voice.

JJ's eyes were searing into Emily's. She knew exactly what Emily was saying. But she didn't want to believe it. JJ felt a horrible wave of dread wash over her. She needed to hear the words. She wouldn't believe it unless Emily said the words.

And then Emily did. She said the words. But the feeling wasn't what she'd expected. She didn't feel shattered. She just felt empty. JJ closed her eyes. Emily reached for her, but she flinched as soon as their hands touched. Emily pulled her hand halfway back, unsure what to do. JJ wrapped her arms around herself, beginning to shake with grief. Emily had never seen JJ like this. She wondered if this is what she was like when she lost her sister. She imagined a young JJ - shaking with agony. How long would it take to recover from this? Neither of them really knew. Emily felt powerless to help her. She could only sit there and watch.