I woke up around mid-day, covered in sweat with the blankets thrown on the floor. They usually were when j woke up.
Checking my phone let me know that it was almost two in the afternoon, my data not connecting here. I guessed it was one of the Jokers' security systems blocking it, but It didn't matter. I didn't want to go back anyway.
I ran a hand through my hair and yawned, trying to come alive a little, nature calling as i got up out of bed.
"Yo, anyone here? Is there a bathroom? Maybe a shower? I'll take a bucket if I gotta." I called before the door was flung open, and Harley walked inside, a high-pitched sound of surprise slipping past me before I remembered what had happened the night before. This wasn't a new home. This was, well, if I played my cards right, this could be home.
She spoke like she'd had more caffeine than was healthy for a human being, energetic and bubbly. Then again, I'd slept in late and was just now waking up.
"Good morning, Izuku! How'd ya sleep? The bed okay? Come on, we gotta bug day ahead of us kiddo, you gotta get ready."
It took a few seconds before I caught everything she said and blinked a few times, realizing she was wearing a t-shirt with a cat on it and skinny jeans. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was a regular soccer mom.
"Uh, we gotta set some ground rules later. Right now, I need the bathroom." I told her, grabbing my bag and cellphone.
"Sure, down the hall and to the right. Mista J and me done made it your own private bathroom. Let me tell ya, we made some of the guys mad." She started, but I didn't stay to listen to the rest of it, hurrying away to take care of business.
A few minutes later, I came out of the bathroom, wearing my bag over my shoulder as I walked around the facility, exploring a little. I didn't know if I was ever going to get the opportunity to check out a villain hideout again, and I was kind of curious.
It didn't take long before Harley found me again, "Hey, there ya are! Mista J has some important business to take care of, so it's just gonna be you and me getting the stuff for your room."
I raised my arm, sniffing twice before the scent made my nose curl.
"Yeah, you mentioned that last night. Can I shower first, though? I'm fifteen wearin' the clothes I wore yesterday, and I'm gettin' funky." I asked, hoping I didn't come off as rude. Supervillain or not, she was letting me live here, and I wasn't throwing away a good thing.
"O'course, just don't take too long. There's a frozen yogurt place I figured we could go to since I've been craving it for days now." She told me, walking me to the bathroom so she could show me where everything was before leaving me alone to get ready.
Twenty-two minutes later, I was ready, putting my dirty clothes in my bag and finding Harley sitting at a table and adding an ungodly amount of sugar in a travel cup of what I assumed was coffee.
"Oh! There you are, I was just making a little something for the road!" She chirped cheerily as she screwed the top on the cup, grabbing a set of keys off the table.
Everyone in Gotham knew that the clown couple had an affinity for the standout, so seeing a normal Honda Civic, It was kind of a relief. But I guess the Jokermobile was a little too obvious for a simple shopping trip.
Once we got on the road, my phone got a ton of messages, buzzing like crazy before Harley snatched it out of my hands and tossed it out the window.
"Don't worry, we'll getcha a new one while we're out today." She assured me, pulling into the frozen yogurt place with a Mr. Freeze mascot.
At least it wasn't one of the more murder happy villains like Poison Ivy or Bane. In fact, I liked Mr. Freeze. When he pulls up, we get the next day or two out of school.
The line inside was short. Most people were still at work or school, just an old woman and a guy who looked a little older than me.
"You been here before?" I asked him, watching as he made his yogurt like he'd done it a dozen times before.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I come here all the time." He didn't turn until his yogurt was at least five inches over the top of the cup.
"Evidently. Well, any recommendations?"
"Strawberry cheesecake. It's so freaking good, dude." He told me, and now that I could see his face, he looked sorta familiar.
"Thanks. Names Izuku."
He held out a hand, one of the real friendly types, I guess, but I shook it, noticing his grip was insane for someone with arms that slender.
"Tim." He grinned, his yogurt starting to tilt.
"Here, just let me help." I told him, taking my empty cup and using it to push it back.
"Thanks." He grinned, his eyes glancing behind me quickly. "Hey, um, is that your mom eating straight from the machine?"
I looked back, seeing Harley just letting orange yogurt fall into her mouth.
"I'm adopted." I told him quickly, even if I was stifling a laugh at the sight of Harley looking up and smiling at me with her face stained orange all over.
"Maybe don't get the orange." Tim joked, and I couldn't help but laugh now. I didn't think I'd actually have fun on this outing, but I was glad to be here now.
I made a bowl, talking with Tim while blocking the guy working the counter from seeing Harley, who went to go wash her face, the employee none the wiser as she came back to pay, her face tinged a little orange, like a bad spray tan.
"You made a friend already?" She smiled softly at me before I looked away, embarrassed by her kindness.
"Maybe. Uh, this is Tim. Tim, this is my, uh, this is my caretaker." I couldn't bring myself to say it, to say she was my mom. As kind as she'd been, it hadn't even been a full day.
"Well, I'll be out in the car, Izuku. Don't be too long, okay?" She held my cheek for a moment before turning and leaving.
"I should go too. I, I think I hurt her feelings. I guess I'll see ya." I offered my fist, the two of us bumping before I headed for the door too.
"Oh my god! Who made this mess!?" The poor cashier cried before I ran out the door, laughing as I made it to the car and hopped in, Tim waving from inside with a grin.
"Aw man, this was really fun. And this is only the first thing on our to-do list, right?"
I was, well, kind of happy. Every home I'd been to, none of them let me be this free. Then again, I don't think most people would.
"You know it, kiddo. Whatever you wanna do, we'll do it." She told me, and I felt like the most powerful kid in the world.
"Can we go to the Amusement Pier? Ooh, can we get a rabbit? Oh! Oh! Can I get a skateboard!?" I asked excitedly, the power already going to my head.
"You got it!" She cheered, putting the pedal to the metal and speeding through the city to get to the furniture store.
"First, we take care of business, then we can go do all the stuff you wanted. Sound fair?" She asked, more mature than i expected out of Jokers girlfriend.
"Well, you said I could pick out the furniture, so sounds more than fair to me."
Most of what I picked out was what was just normal, except the bed. Harley let me get a giant bed, one that would probably take up most of the room, but every bed I'd ever had was a little too small or uncomfortable. It wouldn't be an issue anymore.
"So, how're we fitting all that in the car?"
Harley thought about it for a second before an employee offered a solution.
"We can schedule a delivery. How does tomorrow afternoon sound?" The employee asked, and I had no problem personally. I'd waited fifteen years for a chance at the good life, I could wait another day.
"Sounds good to me. The bed at ho- at the house is still good. One more night won't kill me." And I felt ashamed of myself. I'd been taken into someone's home, treated like family, and I couldn't call the place home.
"I'll go draw up the paperwork. Feel free to look around, and if you see anything else you'd like, let me know." She told us, leaving me at the table with Harley, wondering if I was the only one who felt awkward about the whole thing.
"Hey, you okay?" She asked, and I pushed my guilt aside.
"I'm good, I just -" I didn't know what to say, desperate to be a good kid for her. Of all the people who'd wanted me as their kid, she was the one I wanted to keep me.
"It's okay. You're okay. These things take time, and there's no rush Izuku. Whenever you're ready, you'll still have a home." She was kind, and I wondered why she put up with someone as cruel as Joker.
"I'm sorry. If it makes you feel better, you're the nicest person I've ever met. You remind me a lot of my mom." I told her, meaning it. Criminally insane or not, they cared.
She got a little teary-eyed, but the awkward feeling was gone at least, just waiting for the lady to come back with the paperwork, which I noticed Harley signed with a fake name and social security number.
"Alright, we should have a crew out there about two tomorrow, so if someone could just be there to greet them and receive your stuff, that'd be great." The seller told us, shaking our hands.
"Well, where to first?" Harley asked as we walked out to the car.
"Can we try skateboarding?"
"Comsider it done."
There was a skatepark nearby, a skate shop opened next to it. Smart.
I got padded up and looked through skateboards, picking one with the logo of a mystery solving teen team who'd been sweeping the nation lately.
Harley had gotten herself a pair of skates, enjoying the ramps while I got used to the feeling of the board underneath me, learning the basics until we got hungry.
An unhealthy lunch at Big Belly Burger later, and I put our gear in the trunk, spying a couple of guns before shutting it. Who cared? The Amusement Pier was way more important anyway.
We played games and ate junk and rode rides, talking about anything and everything. I felt at ease around Harley, the bumper cars cementing the fact that i wanted this home to work. She didn't let me win or treat me feel like I was fragile, ramming into me and anyone else in the way.
As they day went on and the sun started to set, I had to admit, this was the best day of my life. Even better than when I'd kissed Ellen Graham at a party.
"You still want that puppy, don't you?" She asked me while I stopped and sipped some sprite to fix my stomachache.
Maybe another day, but for now, I just sat on the end of the pier, watching the water below.
"Why'd you take me in?" I asked quietly, my hand trembling slightly.
"Because you needed a home, and I wanted to give you the one I wanted as a little girl."
She sat next to me, a comfortable silence falling over us before a click sound came from behind us, a man speaking.
"Well, look here, fellas. Franky wasn't lyin'."
"Hey Harv, you're looking good. Well, half of ya, at least." Harley joked, getting hit on the back of her head with a handgun.
"Stop it!" I yelled, starting to get to my feet, Harley pulling on my wrist to stop me.
"Don't." She told me, a seriousness I'd never seen on her face.
"You'd better listen to her kid, or you'll have to scoop her brains outta the water." Two-Face told me, and I reluctantly turned my back to the water.
"What do you want?" Harley asked, keeping calm.
"Word on the street was you and the Joker gotta kid now, wanted to see for myself if it was true." He told her, kneeling down and forcing me to look at him.
"Let him go. He hasn't done anything, Harvey." She told him, and after thinking about it for a moment, he got up.
"Get outta here, kid. I got business to discuss with your mom."
A few seconds passed, looking at Harley, who took my hand in both of hers and smiled.
"It's okay, I'll be fine." She assured me as she slipped something in my hand.
"She'll be okay, right?" I asked, balling my fist and looking at Two-face.
"You got my word."
Getting up, I headed for the car, running as fast as I could, holding the key Harley had slipped me so tightly my hand began to bleed a little.
Starting the car, I held down the horn and put it in drive, speeding down the pier and watching people jump out of the way as I opened the door, leeping out of it before yelling.
"Get away from my mom you shit faced fuck!" screamed, watching the villain and his goons jump out the way, but I couldn't see Harley. Oh God, had I hit her
I knelt at the edge of the pier, staring down at the water below before I felt a gun pressed to the back of my head.
"You should have left when I gave you the chance runt. Now, I'm gonna feed you to the fish." Two-Face growled, and I closed my eyes before something exploded, sending a shock down my body, but if I was going to die, this was my chance to go down swinging.
Move, get up, pick up at broken railing, and swing at Two-Face, his gun clicking as he tried to shoot me.
"The hell?" He asked, my rail hitting him in the side of the head and knocking him on his ass before I heard something land behind me.
"You thought you could waltz up and threaten my mom?" I asked, Harley moving to take care of his goons while I stepped closer to him, bringing my makeshift weapon down on his leg, hearing a crunch before he screamed, and I laughed at his pain.
"You thought you could threaten me?" His other other leg went crunch, he screamed again, my laughter growing.
"When the police ask who brutalized you, you don't tell them it was Batman. You tell them it was Slapstick." I brought my leg back, kicking him in the nuts before bringing my head back to laugh at him.
This was fun, it was exciting, and I wanted more of this. To be powerful like I was now.
Harley shook me, but now that it was over, I didn't know what to do, shock setting in.
"Sirens. Come on."
I didn't speak, just gripping my piece of railing and running alongside her, following her through alleys and side roads before she stopped making a call I didn't hear before hanging up and made sure I was okay.
A few minutes passed, a car pulling up to the curb and honking twice.
"This is us." She told me softly, and all I could do was nod, dropping the rail and following her.
Sitting in the back, taking a deep breath, I forced myself to come back. I needed to be in the moment before saying something.
"Let's go home."