The first of my 2 epilogues. I couldn't help myself, I wanted to write the whole night from Leo's point of view. I know it takes away some of the stoic mystery from his portrayal in Raph's version, but I think it sheds light on other things that make it worth the loss.

I dunno. You be the judge.

He took off. Again. Even though I told him not to.

What is the point of being leader if I can't get those following me to trust and obey the simplest of instructions?

I hear the grunts and groans of a fight from nearby and can't stop the jolt of fear that bolts through my skin. I knew it. I knew this was a trap of some kind. Why else would these thugs leave the safety of their numbers to take off towards the inner city? And now they might have my brother in their claws.

"Raph!"

Finally finding the alley he's in, I jump down, swords drawn, only to catch my brother just as he finishes punching the lights out of the last of a pile of Dragons, all now groaning at his feet in unconsciousness. A sigh of relief escapes me immediately; he's not hurt. And if this was a trap, it was very poorly executed; any one of us could have taken out these few stragglers on our own. Guess my gut was wrong.

That doesn't excuse his actions. But I'm glad he's safe. "Raph, what are you doing?"

"Couple of scrawny ones got away. Didn't want them missing out on the fun."

My relief is quickly fading into irritation at his unapologetic attitude. "I told you not to go after them. We were supposed to stay and check the warehouse." I glance back at the pile of thugs behind him, eyeing them to make sure they're all still deep in unconsciousness.

Something still feels off, but I can't put my finger on what.

"Don't get your shell in a bunch, I was gonna head back once they were taken care of."

I shake my head, trying to refocus. I'm sure it's nothing. "You shouldn't have left. The dragons aren't going to let us have their new weapons shipment without a fight. They're probably sending reinforcements. We need to get back and help Don and Mikey."

He's rolling his eyes at me again, which means a fight isn't far off. What on earth he has to be angry about this time is far beyond me, but I brace for the impact.

"I said I was gonna head back. If you're so worried about it, why'd you leave those two to deal with it alone?"

"Because you took off!" I'm doing it again, I'm letting him annoy me into getting angry and I hate when he does that. So I try to regain some composure. "And I didn't want you out here fighting alone."

"I don't need a babysitter, Leo! I can handle myself!"

I can see him start to clench his fists and I know this is only going to escalate before it dies, but we don't have time for a full fledged feud right now. So I pull the leader card. "I told you not to go after them, Raph. It wasn't a suggestion."

The way his hands curl into a tighter fist as he freezes—looks like we're not avoiding the fight. Great. Just great.

"Oh, I see what this is about. The Great Fearless Leader gave an order and the insignificant subordinate didn't obey."

I can't help but roll my eyes. The dramatic inner monologue he must be telling himself is beyond my understanding. I want nothing more than to explain why his actions were rash and without thought—that none of this has anything to do with him, but everything to do with us as a team—but Mike and Don are on their own and the Dragons probably called for backup, so there's no time to get into it right now.

Lucky for him. "We're going back. Now."

"Was that a suggestion?"

He's getting under my skin and he knows it. Why does he so desperately want to fight me? We're in the middle of a mission, can't he at least wait till we get home and everyone is safely in the lair? My tone no longer brooks an argument, but I'm sure I'll still get one. "No. It wasn't."

"Screw you, Leo!"

And here we go.

"I'm not some lacky you can order around with the flick of a wrist!"

"I never said you were a lacky."

"Yet you get pissed every time I don't ask 'how high' whenever you tell me to jump!"

Not this again. "I'm the leader, Raph. It's my job to give the orders!" And I don't understand why he hates me for it.

"And don't you just love pointing that out every chance you get."

Oh for crying out—"We don't have time for this."

"No, of course not! There's only ever time to berate your brothers, not explain your actions."

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" I shout in his face before I can catch it. Shell, how is he always so good at getting me worked up enough to lose control? His eyes turn dark and I honestly can't tell if he's upset at what I said or smug that he finally got a rise out of me.

And something about all this still feels off.

"So that's how it is, huh? The Great Leonardo knows all and doesn't need to waste time explaining himself to the rest of us mere mortals."

I hold in a sigh and try to explain. "That's not what I—" but he's in too much of a mood to let me finish.

"That's exactly what you meant!"

He steps in closer, to be in intimidating I suppose. Or to make me see his anger up close. Either way, I stand my ground and let him talk. He clearly needs to let off some steam, so if it'll get him to come along faster, I suppose I can stand and take it for a minute.

"That's what you're always about, isn't it? Proving that you're better than everybody else, that you're smarter, stronger, and faster than everyone!"

Hurtful, but nothing new. I am fully aware of how much contempt my brother holds for me.

"And God forbid someone actually tries to measure up, you gotta knock 'em down a peg to make yourself feel better!"

Now that… that was unexpected. I make sure to hide my surprise (and maybe a little hurt) behind my mask, taking a moment to keep my voice even. I should just let it go. We have to get back.

"You think you don't measure up?"

He stops and I can instantly see the walls forming around him. He didn't mean to say it, apparently.

"Where the hell did that come from!?"

And now he's playing denial, which means I definitely wasn't supposed to hear it. "You said 'God forbid someone actually tries to measure up', I assume you were talking about yourself." I wait for a response, but when he offers none, I can't help but nudge again. "You don't think you measure up?"

"That's not what I meant!"

"Then what—"

"I meant that you're a selfish asshole and I'm done talkin' about this."

He starts up the building just as a droplet of rain hits my shell, but I'm still trying to understand what he just confessed so I barely notice the weather. I follow quickly. I know I should drop it, I know. "Raph wait—"

"I said I ain't talkin' about it no more! Back off Leo!"

But I don't want him to think— "It has nothing to do with skill level, it's about strategy. You left Mikey and Donnie wide open to attack." But that's not what I'm trying to say. How do I explain this? "We're a team, Raph. We need to work together."

He's still walking away.

"Are you listening to me?" How do I make him understand? "You can't go off grandstanding every time you dislike an order." It's not safe. How do I make him understand that I need him to be safe. "Raph, you need to—"

He turns on me with an anger in his eyes I'm not sure I've seen before. It makes me stop in my tracks. But I'm immediately distracted as a ghost of a feeling washes over every nerve in my body.

"I don't need anything!"

Something is wrong. Something… I catch a wisp of movement out of the corner of my eye.

"I don't need your orders!"

There. On the adjacent roof. Can't look and give away that I've spotted him. But there's a glint of something in his hands.

"I don't need your leadership!"

A gun. Sniper. No…

NO!

"I DON'T NEED YOU!"

"RAPH!"

My body jolts into action out of shear panic, ramming my shoulder into Raph's side to push him as far away as I can. There's an impossibly loud crack in the air as the weapon goes off.

No time to think.

Without stopping my momentum from shoving Raph, I step forward and spin on my heel, whipping my swords from their sheathes in one swift motion, and lance a katana towards the sniper with as much strength and speed as I possess, aiming right for his heart. It hits it's mark, or slightly above it, and the Dragon is pinned to the chimney he must have been hiding behind.

It was a trap. I was right.

I should have listened to my instincts. Master Splinter is always telling me. Raph could have been shot because I wasn't… because I wasn't paying… Because I… I feel dizzy. The roof is spinning and I can't make it stop. I grip my swords, trying to ground myself, but one hand isn't on my sword, it's on my stomach. There's something warm running through it. I force my eyes to focus as I look down.

My hand is red.

I pull it from my plastron to see red oozing down my body.

I'm bleeding. Why am I bleeding?

Understanding comes impossibly slow as I stare at the red on my hand. I've been shot. Sniper managed to hit me. But was I fast enough to save—

"Leo?"

I turn enough to spot Raph staring at me with wide eyes. He looks shocked, but not injured. No blood that I can see. I close my eyes and breathe out the dread I'd been holding. At least he's—

Pain suddenly erupts from my stomach, so abrupt and intense that I can't get a handle on it. It fogs my vision and I can feel myself falling but I can't seem to get my legs under me to catch myself.

A broad shoulder appears under my arm as my brother is now at my side, holding me up. "Leo!" My vision is still swimming too much to make out details, but the fear in his voice rings out crystal clear. I'd try to reassure him if I could speak around the pain. I feel him move my hand to get a look at the wound and I use the opportunity to breathe deep and refocus as best I can.

"It's alright bro, I got you."

My body accepts the invitation and leans heavily on him without my consent. I'm trying to get my legs under me, get the pain under control so I can talk. "There might be more." I scan the rooftops around us quickly but don't spot any other movement. Though my vision is still a bit blurry. "Check the perimeter, in case they—"

"Not a chance. I ain't leavin' you like this."

I don't argue, I don't have the breath for it. And he's right, I won't last long bleeding the way I am. But if there's another sniper around here, he's leaving whether he wants to or not. I open my mouth to say as much as he lowers us to the ground when my lungs suddenly feel like they're filled with water. The cough that follows is loud and wet, bringing the taste of copper to my lips and spilling down my chin.

This is bad.

I'm trying to tamp down the sting that fit caused when I catch a glimpse of Raph's face; he looks terrified. I don't think he's trying to hide it, which is even more worrisome. He's staring at the wound like it's a nightmare come to life and I can't think of a single thing to say in comfort.

I default to pragmatism. "Pressure."

"What?"

I place my hand over his atop my stomach and press down. It takes much more effort than I expected to keep from screaming at the pain, but I manage, keeping my calm as best I can. "Keep… pressure." My voice is giving me away. "Stop the bleeding."

He seems to pause a moment before replying with a curt "I know" and pressing harder. I'm actually relieved to hear that tone in his voice.

My head is swimming again and I can't tell if the world is spinning or I am.

Focus. Finish the mission. We need to get back to the others, make sure they're okay. The Dragons might have set a trap there too, counting on us to split up.

"The warehouse… Mikey and Don—" more copper taste, but this time it's harder to expel. I have to turn on my side so I don't choke on my own blood.

Raph holds me steady as I find air again. "I know."

He needs to check on them. "Raph—"

"Just shut up and save your breath, Fearless." I don't know why, but the name helps ground me a moment. "I'll give 'em a call, alright?"

Good. That's good. I'd still prefer he go to the warehouse himself, but this is the next best thing. As he's distracted with the phone, I allow myself a moment to grimace as another wave of pain washes over me. It's getting duller… Probably means I'm getting numb. Or going into shock. Neither one is reassuring.

I'll be okay. I have to be okay. I will not leave until I know my brothers are safe. I can't.

I might not have a choice.

I inhale slowly. Exhale. Forcing that last thought away with focused breaths as Raph continues to fiddle with the phone. He hangs up and redials a few times, and with each passing minute I can feel my fear rising. Something's happened at the warehouse, I'm sure of it. My gut may be spilling onto the roof, but it's still insistent as ever.

Raph needs to go. I'm about to say as much when he finally speaks.

"Yeah Don. It's—"

I can't hear the other end of the conversation, but I can tell by Raph's face that it's not good.

"Don, what's going—"

He's cut off again.

"Yeah. Don he's—"

I hear a muffled shout and don't need to hear the words to know Donnie's upset.

"He's been shot."

I hear a cry come through the speaker and my whole body tenses.

"Don?"

Something's happened. We're leaving. Now. But the minute I lift my head to stand, everything in me goes weak. I can barely move, there's no way I'd be able to walk, let alone fight. But we have to do something. I grab Raph's arm so he'll look at me. The angry worry in his face speaks volumes.

"Don? Don, you there?"

A desperate fear seizes my body that makes me want to hurl. What if he's—

"What the shell, Brainiac—"

He's okay. Don's okay. Relief swells through me with such force, I lose the rest of the conversation. Raph hangs up the phone and faces me again, the worry gone from his face but not his eyes. He was never good at hiding his emotions. Disguising them behind anger, sure, but not hiding them away.

"They're on their way."

"Are they—"

"—Fine. Just taking care of a few unexpected stragglers."

I know he's lying. They're in trouble. And I'm too weak to do anything about it. But Raph could still help. If I can just convince him to leave me here…

"Don't even think it."

He knew what I would ask. I'm unexpectedly flattered that he knows me so well. But then he must know I'm right. "They need help." I'm about as close to begging as I've ever come, but Raph is focused on my wound.

"I ain't leavin' Leo. I leave, you bleed out."

He's not wrong, but that's not the point. Another wave of pain crashes through me as I try to keep my wits. I look up to where the sniper lies motionless, fear creeping under my skin. "…What if…"

He catches my meaning and immediately jumps into denial. "They can handle themselves. Besides, what force in the universe has ever been able to pin Mikey down when he's all hyped up?"

I smile, not only because the memories conjured are pure hilarity, but also because I can see the fear abate from Raph's eyes momentarily. Making jokes at Mikey's expense always seems to help him—

My body is suddenly lurching, everything in me working far too hard to expel whatever it is that's blocking my lungs. The movement is painful, my throat feels scraped raw, but I close my eyes so Raph can't see. I don't want to scare him any more than I have.

As the cough subsides, Raph has turned his gaze away—nowhere particular, just anywhere that isn't on me—and I use the opportunity to let my walls down a moment. It takes effort to keep them up, to pretend like I'm not worried and the pain is manageable, and I'm starting to feel exhaustion creep in. It's falling on me slowly, like molasses dripping from a spoon, heavy and thick and I don't know how long I can keep it at bay.

I should talk. Keep my brain active. But Raph's fallen silent and I don't want to say anything that'll start another fight. If these are my last moments with him, I don't want them to be filled with tension. I don't want to make him feel inferior.

"That's what you're always about, isn't it? Proving that you're better than everyone else."

I never meant to make him feel that way. Am I really like that? Do I build myself up by tearing the others down? I don't try to…

"And God forbid someone actually tries to measure up, you gotta knock 'em down a peg to make yourself feel better!"

I wish I could tell him I'm sorry. That it wasn't like that. That the truth was—but he'd never believe me. He'd get angry and we'd fight and I can't let our last interaction be a—

No. No, stop that. Stop thinking like that. The situation is bad, my wound is worse, but that doesn't mean I won't survive this. Pragmatism has it's moments, but now is not the time. I need to believe that I'll be okay. That I'll be laughing about this next week. That this will just be another one of those crazy stories to add to our long roster of 'times where we almost died'.

I'm going to be alright. I have to be. I have to—

"Hey."

My eyelids snap apart like being startled from a dream. I hadn't even realized they were starting to close. I turn to look at Raph who's face is impassive.

"Keep them baby blues open, Leo. If you pass out, I ain't givin' you CPR."

His voice is a comfort. His wry comment even more so. "Duly noted." How long have I been dazed? Mikey and Donnie… where are Mikey and Donnie? They should be here by now, shouldn't they?

What if they're hurt? Or worse?

"They'll be here soon."

His words wipe away the panic, but not the worry. If we had any amount of cloth to make a torniquet, I could at least hobble at Raph's side and head toward the warehouse. Should have asked Don for—

Pain erupts from my stomach without warning. My body is suddenly quaking everywhere and the movement feels like it's tearing me apart. Gotta focus. Don't scream. Don't... But as the seconds pass, the pain dissipates. Everything does. I can't feel myself anymore. I'm still shaking, I'm sure of it, but it feels distant. Like feeling an echo.

Darkness surrounds me, and I don't think it's because my eyes are closed. I think… I think I might be dying. Or already dead?

"Leo?"

No. I can hear Raph's voice, so I can't be dead. But I can't open my eyes. Everything is heavy. Weighed down. And I'm too tired to fight it.

Focus, Leo. Fight the fatigue. I can't abandon my family like this. Not till I know they're safe.

Not till Raph knows I—

"Leo!"

He's shouting again. Scared. Have to wake up. Focus on his voice. Focus.

"Leo!"

Breathe!

"S-Still here." I manage to croak out as I finally suck in some oxygen. I can feel my body again.

"Don't do that!"

He sounds more scared than angry, and I suddenly feel the urge to wrap him in a hug. Where did that come from? Hugging him would probably be as bad as trying to talk. I don't know what it is, but for some reason, Raph and I are rarely able to connect. To understand each other. Every time I try to explain myself, it somehow always devolves into a fight.

I wish I knew how to tell him. I wish I could find a way around his defenses to show him that I don't look down on him. I really don't. At least, not on purpose. I'm too busy admiring his strengths to focus on his faults.

Alright, maybe I focus on his faults from time to time. But it's not because I'm trying to hurt him. It's because I want him to be better. Better than me.

And more than anything, I want him to be safe. He thinks that nights like tonight are me trying to coddle him or prove he's not worthy. But it has nothing to do with him. It's me. It's always been me.

My eyes feel heavy and my legs are completely numb. Maybe I should say something… just in case.

"I know."

I don't see his face, but his tone is confused enough. "What?"

"I know… you don't need me."

His defenses rise immediately, I can practically see the wall forming between us. But I have to say this. He has to know.

"You still… don't get it."

"Get what?"

There's that anger. Present but restrained. Maybe he'll hear me this time.

"That it's not—" another sharp shot of pain ricochets through my body. I draw in a breath and hold in the cry before I continue. "…that I—" But I barely get a word out before the cough follows. I'm losing this battle. But I need to tell him. I need him to know.

Just… just let me get through this.

"Raph…"

"Save the lecture for after we get home."

His voice is commanding. Stubborn. But I can hear that undercurrent of fear running through it. Same thing that's clouding his eyes. I want to comfort, to take the fear away, but my lungs aren't cooperating. They're panicking at the sudden lack of oxygen.

Calm. Breathe. Inhale slow. Exhale slow. Inhale. Exhale. Find a rhythm.

My lungs finally relax, but my mind is still racing. I should try again. Tell him again. He needs to know.

I need you. That's what I'm trying to say. I need you.

Every time he runs off, half-cocked and fist first, I feel like I've lost my balance. Like a part of me is missing. And every time he gets hurt because of it, it feels like that part won't come back. I'm always so terrified of losing him that I forget how good he is on his own. How well he adapts to being alone.

How little he really—

"I DON'T NEED YOU!"

He's right. And thinking about it now, it makes me feel almost… proud. Why have I never thought of it this way before? Or maybe I did I just didn't want to admit—

"Donnie!"

My eyes snap taught as I'm once again brought back to my senses. I search around for our younger brothers until I see the phone to Raph's ear. At least they're calling, means they're still alive.

Raph shouts into the phone and I can see his hand shaking. Is that rage, worry, or fatigue? Or a mixture of all three? I try to catch his eyeline so I can ask how the others are, but one glance and he knows what I'm thinking.

"You guys alright?" He pauses and my gut is suddenly twisting in knots. "Mikey?"

Not Donnie? Did something happen to him? I try to hear the other end of the conversation but my senses are too dull to make anything out. Raph must have been thinking the same thing because he asks for me.

"Where's Don?"

He's turned away so I can't see his face, but his body doesn't tense in any way, so I can only assume that means they're alright. If they weren't, Raph's musculature would betray his worry, like it always does. His body tenses and flexes a lot when he's worried. And angry. And—

"He's what!? You…"

The voice on the phone gets lost in the rain, but I heard those first words loud and clear. They hadn't told Mikey. Probably to keep him moving and not panicking. Smart move, Don. I suddenly wish I could take the cell and speak with my baby brother. I want to tell him it's all going to be alright. That there's no need to be afraid. That I'm okay, or will be once we get back home. If I make it back home…

I might not make it home.

I just want to hear his voice one more time.

Raph is facing me again, staring at my stomach. Or rather glaring at it. "No." he says in reply to some question on the phone, I assume. "He's still awake and talking, but his speech is gettin' slow."

Is it? I hadn't noticed.

He must be talking to Don now, Mikey wouldn't ask those kinds of questions. Or wouldn't know what to do with the answers, anyway. He'd be more focused… more focused on…

Shell, I'm tired.

Don't think about it. Don't fixate on the fatigue. Keep the mind busy.

I focus on Raph who is putting the phone on the ground. Did they hang up already? Is everyone alright? …Did I not ask that out loud? Try again. Breathe. Speak.

"They… Okay?"

But my voice is so small, I don't think he hears me. His hand is on my neck—I think, I can't feel it at all—checking for a pulse. Right. Probably should have been doing that this whole time. Wasn't thinking.

"Weak and slow." He pauses before I see his patience leave him. "Get here and see for yourself!" I blink slowly and somehow miss whatever else is said as he hangs up. "They're alright. On their way now."

I finally catch his eyes and see it plain as day on his face: he's scared. For me. Worried for me. I know how stupid it sounds, but I can't help feeling… treasured. He doesn't want me to leave.

"I DON'T NEED YOU!"

I know he didn't mean it. I barely heard it through my own dread when I noticed the sniper. Or maybe I was ignoring it purposefully because it hurt. But I know he didn't mean it. I know my brother loves me. He never says it—that's not his way—but he shows it often enough.

I hope I do too. I hope he knows how much I love him. Respect him. No matter what else we are to each other—leader, subordinate, rival—he's my younger brother and I love him so much.

I'd be nothing without him. Without all three of them.

Mikey. Donnie. They're not gonna make it. I'm fading too fast. I'm trying—I refuse to give up—but I don't have a choice anymore. My body is failing me and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

Memories of the three of them dance before me unprompted. I don't stop it. I want to see them one last time. I want to see Mikey's smile. I want to see Don's "thinking" face. I want to tell them how much I'm going to miss them. How much they mean to me.

This is going to be so hard for them. All three of them. Mikey will cry. A lot. Don will too, but he'll do it in silence. Secluded, so the others don't see. And Raph… Raph will blame himself. He'll think this is all his fault. No, he has to know it's not. It was mine. I didn't see the sniper in time.

He'll lock himself away. We all know how he copes with pain. But he can't do that this time. Mike and Don, they'll need him to get through this. April and Casey can probably manage with each other, and Sensei can get through anything, but Mike and Don… they'll need him.

I'm out of time. One last order from your older brother. One last desperate plea.

"Raph… Don't—" Another cough interrupts me, more blood sliding through my lips. "Don't… shut them out. They'll need…" My voice trails off because it's too much effort to keep talking. But I'm sure he understands. He's got them. He'll take care of everyone.

"I got them. If something ever happened… I got them."

I trust him.

"What are you—?"

Our eyes meet and I try to offer as comforting a smile as I can. Everything is fading away. Like rippling water that dissipates in the distance. But it's okay. Mikey and Donnie are safe. Raph will take care of them. They'll be alright without me. I'm certain of it.

"Leo, don't you dare!" He knows. He can see it too. "Keep your eyes open!"

"…Trying…" I really am. I don't want to go. I don't want one lapse in focus to be the reason I'm gone. I don't want to put my family through this.

I don't want to die at all.

"Well try harder! Since when do you back away from a fight!?"

But at least I'm not alone. I know it's selfish, Raph would be much better off if he didn't have to watch me go, but I don't want to be alone. I want him here. So I can tell him.

I try to speak but the sound doesn't come. It's too much effort. Too much breath. Try again. I close my eyes to gather my strength. One last movement. Just let me say one last thing.

"I said keep 'em open, dam—"

I manage to place my numb hand on his over my stomach, and I can tell it's still shaking.

It's okay, brother. It's okay. Everything will be alright. "Tell them…" All of them. Dad, April, Casey.

"Leo—!"

"…M'Sorry." For failing you. For leaving. For all of it.

"I'm… so…proud" Truly. They are everything I wish I was, everything I could never be.

I love them so much.

I try to say it. I try to form the words. But my breath has left my body and no more air is coming to replace it. The darkness at the edge of my vision closes in. A sudden panic rises in my chest and spikes through my entire being.

No! No, I don't want to go! I don't want to be alone! I don't want to lose them! Please!

Please…

I feel warm. Tranquil. Like meditating with Sensei.

Let me…

The darkness is gone. So is the panic.

Stay…

My brothers. My family. I can feel them…

With…

Still with them. Still connected.

"S-Still here…"

I had fun writing it, anyways.

Comments/Critiques are much appreciated, for anyone still reading this ridiculousness.

End of Line.

-TRAap