Violet's P.O.V-

I sat in the chair, patiently waiting outside the paediatrician's office. Anthony was pacing back and forth with his hands locked behind his back, as was his usual stance. Got that from his father, though Edmund never worried like our eldest did. His demeanour was more akin to Benedict or Colin's; I don't know where Anthony got his neuroticism from. Probably from my side of the family, though not directly from me. I watched silently as he paced the floor, thinking worriedly out loud to both me and himself.

"What if his bee allergy is as deadly as Dad's? We'll have to get him an EpiPen- no, two or three EpiPens. All of us should carry one at all times," Anthony pondered, speaking more nervously with each step. My hands clasped overtop my knees as I tried to get his attention. "Anthony…." "And what about Kate? What if she's allergic to anything? Can Sasha have more than one allergy? Isn't being allergic to bees enough?!" "Anthony," my voice attempted again, to no avail. His hands ran through his hair in distress. "This is all my fault. He inherited this from me. I'm the one who put him in bee-danger." "Of course not, darling; that's not how allergies work," but he ignored my coaxing, continuing to fret.

"And then there's Kate. She would die in three years' time if we were in Sasha's original universe. How could I let that happen? How could I bring a child into this world knowing they'd be deprived of their mother? How could I do that to him?! What kind of monster am I?!" Both his hands clung to the sides of his face and I leapt up from chair to comfort him. "Anthony, stop! Listen to yourself. How would you possibly know that Kate would die in childbirth? What woman knows that when she's pregnant? It's not your fault, dearest; these things just happen. And Sasha having a bee allergy is not your fault either. We…. We inherit the good and the bad from our parents and grandparents. Yes, he has your father's allergy, but he also has Kate's eyes, and your father's nose, hands, and hair. You both gave him a lot of good- remember that, Anthony."

Anthony eyed me a moment for sighing and sitting down next to me. I still kept my arms wrapped around him as he buried his face in both his hands, breathing heavily. "I just… I just didn't imagine it like this. I pictured a future where…. where my wife was with the kids. I never…" He paused here to heave. "I never imagined a reality where I'd be a single father, and my kid would lose a parent the way we lost Dad. That's why I chose Edwina….. I knew I could leave the kids with her… And I wouldn't have to worry about them getting too attached to me….. Just in case anything ever happened… to me." Rubbing his back, my chin lowered a tad. "But you never expected that your wife would be the one to go first?"

"Obviously not! That is the exact opposite of my plan. I'm the one that's supposed to go if anyone dies! All I want is for her, my son, and my family to be safe… I'm the one! It shoulda' been me, if anyone had to go….. But Kate? No…. No; not the mom. Not my son's mom; that's not happening. He can lose me, but not her. Losing a father is traumatic enough…. I can't imagine what it's like losing a mother, and especially so young. No, absolutely not. Not while I'm here…

My son needs his mother."

There was a brief pause. I gazed down, then up to my boy again, and my lips parted a sliver. "And could you perhaps, need your wife?" Anthony gave me such a look, like the thought hadn't crossed his mind. "My wife? No, n-no, that's not it. This is about Sasha…." "I understand your concern for him, but what about yourself, dearest? You're always thinking about the family and putting everyone's needs before your own. Y-Yes, you love your son, and rightly so….. It's only natural to want what's best for him. But you must consider your own future, Anthony." "What about my future? I have what I've always wanted: I have a child and an heir to the Viscounty. T-The rest concerning me is irrelevant," he said, though his words were shaky. I kept my hand firm on his back.

"Your son looks up to you. It's clear he worships the ground you walk on. He's going to emulate whatever you show him, including how you treat yourself. If you discard love and passion, I worry he might do the same when he's older." Anthony rolled his eyes at this, arching his back a little. "I'm going to do everything for that boy," he then rebuffed and I too shook my head. "Then try loving his mother. Even if it's not romantic, still try to let Kate in. You worry about her because you love your son. But if you grow to love her too, you'll be giving Sasha an even greater gift. Remember your father's favourite quote he always used to say to you boys:

The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother."

Anthony didn't say anything, just glancing at me then out at space; he was evidently contemplating what I'd just said. The palms of his hands pressed tightly together as his elbows rested on his legs. "I'm not going to marry Kate," he finally uttered and I began rubbing his back again. "You don't have to. You only need be amicable to each other."

Anthony's lips pursed together momentarily, his stare still out to nothing in particular. "Sure, she's kind…. and highly intelligent… and has the most beautiful eyes. But I could hardly see the two of us getting on." "Anthony…" "It doesn't matter that she's given me the most perfect little boy on the planet either. That's done nothing to sway my opinion of her." "Anthony?" "She's too…. well-formed, in my opinion; she knows herself too well. Well, perhaps that's not such a bad thing… But she has a very strong character! How can I possibly manage someone like that? Well, perhaps "manage" is also the wrong word, but you get what I mean!" "Anthony!"

"And well yes, I do suppose there's something in what Dad said, about a father loving a mother….. But I always planned to do so at arm's-length. Falling in love, like truly falling in love with someone, would only complicate matters. I love my family…. Isn't that enough?" "Anthony, listen to me." "I already have a son; what more could I want from a relationship? And Kate's voice and presence is shocking soothing; having her live with us in the manor will be quite sufficient, in my opinion. I see no reason for more; that should be enough to make Sasha happy as well."

"Anthony!" "What?!" His head spun back in my direction. My lips closed, then slowly reopened when the words formulated in my head. "Dearest, I hate to see you like this. So weighed down…. Anxiety and stresses of becoming a new parent, the consideration of a proposal, choosing the person you wish to spend the rest of your life with….. My darling boy. You just met your only son. It should be a time full of joy." Anthony looked me in the eyes, smiling slightly. "With Sasha, I'm elated. Discovering I'm that angel's father is the best thing that's ever happened to me…. As to everything else, I'm content." I sighed, shaking my head and gazing forward, to which Anthony did the same.

"I am fulfilling my duty to this family, Mom. That is what takes precedence above all else." "Just because you are dedicated to this family does not mean there should be no room left for love, Anthony." A pregnant pause ensued before I went on. "Your father took his role as Viscount seriously, but he also loved- deeply. I know that's what you want too; I know that deep down, it is what you've always wanted." Anthony's head tossed up a touch. "You are quite certain how well you know me." "I know how sweet and earnest you were as a boy, just like how Sasha is now. He is the same as you were, Anthony; always with a kind word or a joke… You two are one and the same, dearest."

Yet another pause here and my voice grew graver. "But then after your father died, a wall went up inside you, as if love had become… some weakness, instead of your greatest strength, and that is not you." One last pause. "You deserve the feeling that I had the moment your father placed that ring on my finger. It was a promise, not just of the sacred commitment we were making to one another, but a sacred love." And Anthony shook his head with defence, like he was trying to deafen me out. "Love shall have no place in my marriage."

I stopped talking to re-evaluate my plan; clearly this line of thinking was getting me nowhere. Then I peered to the closed doctor's door and a new idea struck me. Still staring at the clean, white wood, I couldn't help but smile soundly to myself.

"I wonder what you would say to yourself…. If the Anthony Bridgerton in Sasha's universe heard what you're saying now?" "What are you talking about?" He blinked to me again and I just kept smiling softly. "Despite your vehement protests against love in marriage, you did fall in love with Kate Sharma, according to your son. You loved Kate so much that Sasha was willing to doubt if you're his real father when you weren't initially happy to see her. You've made…. quite an impression on your beloved little boy; you've made him believe that you adore his mother, body and soul. The Anthony he's known for five years would likely be horrified to hear you talk so now about marriage and your future wife….."

To my surprise, Anthony didn't respond- at least verbally. His expression was one of shock and alarm, like he hadn't considered that he might have fallen in love with Kate in a different reality. But he couldn't deny it since his son was so adamant that his father loyally loved his mother. That's when I gave the final blow, with a soft smile and squeeze on my boy's hand. "According to Sasha, you loved your wife so much that you refused to ever re-marry. You told him that Kate was your one and only wife…. And you'd bring a rose out to her grave every morning until the day you died and were buried beside her." Anthony was still and silent as a statue, gawking at me astounded.

Then both our heads turned back to the door as it opened and a familiar little figure emerged.