Rabbits in a Stew

a New Looney Tunes/Wabbit fanfic

by DecaTilde

Inside his home, Bugs Bunny, his cottontail twitching in despair, curled in a fetal position on his sofa. Tears welled up in his big, red eyes.

"What a rotten turn of events," he sniffled. "That stupid leader said I wasn't a real rabbit!"

His friend, Squeaks the Squirrel, consoled him.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. It was the leader of the rabbit herd that gave Bugs a failing grade on the rabbit tests. He was panting, gasping for breath.

"Well," Bugs scowled, "look who it is."

"I..." the leader gasped, a tremor in his voice. "I need your help."

"After you determined that I wasn't a real rabbit and kicked me out of your warren?" Bugs replied. "I don't think so."

"It was foolish of me," the leader winced. "You see, we..." He hesitated, then blurted, "We're about to be rabbit pudding!"

He explained how the entire warren had been captured by a formidable French woman planning a grand soirée - one with rabbit pudding as the main course.

Bugs' whiskers twitched, a hint of his trademark defiance returning. "So now you need the 'un-rabbit'?"

Squeaks ran up to the rabbit leader, in a series of angry reprimanding chatter that only Bugs could understand.

"Squeaks is right," Bugs agreed. "You should be ashamed of yourself for the predicament you're in! Not very leader-y of you."

The leader sank to his knees, his fluffy tail drooping.

"I..." he started to say, "I apologize. I was wrong. Please, you're our only hope!"

After a moment, Bugs sighed. He then mumbled, "Alright, alright. But just 'cause you're practically begging, and rabbit pudding doesn't sound too appealing."

Under the cover of darkness, the unlikely trio crept toward the French woman's extravagant tent. Inside, a bustling kitchen filled the air with the aroma of garlic and herbs.

"Perfect timing," whispered Bugs, pulling a tablecloth from a nearby table and transforming it into a chef's hat and apron.

With a quick "Eh, what's up, Doc?" he waddled into the kitchen, belly bouncing like a master chef.

The French woman, a formidable figure with a towering toque blanche, eyed him suspiciously.

"And who might you be?" she demanded in heavily accented English.

Bugs puffed up his chest, his voice exaggeratedly French. "Jacques Le Carrot, culinary extraordinaire at your service! Tonight, we prepare a most... unusual pudding."

Skeptical, but intrigued, the French woman allowed him to oversee the preparations. Bugs, with practiced ease, swapped out the rabbits for plump vegetables and a few strategically placed stink bombs. The furious chefs, blinded by the stench, ran for cover as Bugs replaced the rabbits with giant, inflatable rabbit-headed balloons.

Meanwhile, Squeaks and the leader freed the captive warren. The rabbits, confused but grateful, followed them out into the night.

Just as the "pudding" was about to be served, the French woman lifted the silver cloche. Her face contorted in rage. "Mes lapins!" she bellowed.

Chaos erupted. Guests panicked as Bugs, with a wink at the stunned leader, dashed out.

"Ta-ta!" he waved.

A chase ensued, with Bugs leading the French woman on a merry romp through the forest. She chased him through bush patches, over hills, and finally into the arms of a stern-looking government agent waiting with a net.

"Ma'am, you're under arrest," the agent declared, "for animal cruelty."

And with that, he hauled the screaming French woman away.

Exhausted but triumphant, Bugs slumped beside the panting leader. The herd huddled together.

"Well," the leader said to Bugs, "Not only do I owe you an apology, but also my gratitude. You are a real rabbit. A darn good one, I might add. And for that, you can join our warren."

Bugs grinned.

"Thanks, Doc," he said, "but I gotta stay with Squeaks. The place I live in suits me just fine."

The leader understood with a nod.

"Then," the leader began, "consider yourself an honorary member. We're always happy to have you, Bugs Bunny."

Bugs saluted him. "Likewise, Doc. Just don't give any more rabbit tests, alright?"

"Deal," the leader chuckled, feeling a newfound respect for the mischievous rabbit.

The End

Author's Note: So, what did you think about this one-shot fanfic sequel I wrote for the New Looney Tunes/Wabbit episode "Bugs Bunny?" Pretty neat, huh?