Last time: Everyone is worried about Sasha.

Now: Sasha admits what is going on.

Chapter 22- Sasha's Conflict

That night Viran entered the bedroom to find Sasha standing in the bathroom with the door wide open, brushing her long hair out. She was already dressed into her sleepwear and ready to go to bed rather soon. Viran had been in the hangar cleaning up the last of the paint as he and Kyr had taken a break for dinner and didn't finish the clean up process. But as soon as the paint was put away, Viran headed straight to the bedroom in hopes of showering, but also talking with Sasha before either of them went to bed about everything that was going on with her. And he made it just in time.

Sasha looked at him as she continued to brush out her hair. She shot a smile at him before looking back to the mirror.

"Hey hun. How do the X-Wings look? Were you guys able to finish them?" Sasha asked.

"They look great, but we are not done with them yet," Viran answered as he came over and leaned in the open doorway to the bathroom. "We have to wait for the current coat of paint to dry before we can start detailing them. So we called it for the night."

"I would have assumed you two would have been up all night working on them," Sasha said as she set her brush down and turned to face him.

"Yeah, well we would have if it didn't require waiting several hours for paint to dry," Viran said, wryly. "But by the end of tomorrow they should be done. Then we can start flying them." He added eagerly.

Sasha smiled at that as she moved past him into the bedroom. "I'm glad you two were finally able to get them and I can't wait to see how they turn out."

"Thanks," Viran smiled as he watched her go. He then quietly cleared his throat before asking the next question. "So you taught Cien how to bake cookies?"

"Yeah," Sasha said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Weren't they good?"

"They were great. I'm still surprised when you said Cien primarily made them on her own. I would have thought you would have helped more," Viran said as moved over to the bed.

"No, what I told all of you at dinner was true. That was all Cien's doing. I just read the instructions off to her and made sure she measured everything off correctly," she said, simply.

"Well I was very impressed," he said, smirking. "So you and Cien seem to be doing better. Was everything okay before?" He asked very carefully, hoping to get an actual answer.

Sasha looked up at him then down at her lap. "Not really." She finally admitted to him, uneasy.

"What's going on?" Viran asked, concerned as he came over to the bed. "Every time I've asked you about this, you've avoided my question or become defensive before."

"It's hard to explain," Sasha said quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere tonight," Viran said as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

Sasha sighed. "A few weeks ago, a strange feeling suddenly appeared while I was meditating. I didn't understand it at first, but it just left like an uneasy aura around everything, especially Cien." She said in an uneasy tone. "I tried to ignore it, but it seemed to rear its head whenever I was around Cien. But only when certain subjects come up, not a hundred percent of the time I'm around her or anyone else. I've meditated for hours upon hours trying to figure out what the hell it is, but it's elusive. Then when Cien got the robes, the feeling seemed to change into more of a presence, like it took on a more physical form." She suppressed a shudder. "And all the uneasiness I was feeling before… suddenly felt more intense. It's been almost four weeks and I still don't have answers." She finished, slightly annoyed.

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Viran asked, furrowing his brow. "And have you told Cien?"

"I didn't say anything before, because I was trying to ignore the feeling, hoping it would just go away, but it was being a pest," Sasha groused, less towards him and more towards the presence. "That's why I've been a bit on edge recently. I'm not meaning to be, but it's sense of timing is just annoying. Also, I've thought about telling Cien, but I can't bear this unsettling feeling that's around her. I still power through it to be by her side, but the feeling is still hard to completely ignore. Especially now." She sighed. "I want to tell her about it, but with that presence looming around her, it makes it almost uncomfortable to do so. It's hard to explain." She said frustrated.

"Have you told anyone else?" Viran asked after a quiet moment as he let that digest.

"No," she shook her head, "Oppie's on his mission and I don't want to disturb him. And I still don't know how to broach the subject with Cien and Kyr. I've been meaning to tell you for a couple days now. I just wanted to wait for the right moment." She said, glancing at him.

"Well I'm here now," Viran said, grabbing her hand that was sitting in her lap. "What can I do to help?"

"I'm not sure," Sasha said, looking down at their hands. "When I go into the mindspace, the presence isn't there. Like I can feel it still exists, but I can't pinpoint its location or what it is. I've reached into what possible events are happening galaxy wide to see if it has something to do with that as if it was foreshadowing a horrible doom or something. I even took a pregnancy test to make sure it wasn't like the feeling or presence Cien and I had sensed with Lana and the twins. But it came up negative. So everything I've done still has given me zero answers. I'm at a loss at this point." She looked back at him, looking as exhausted as she sounded. "But I am glad I finally told someone."

"Me too," Viran nodded in agreement. "I'm happy that you've finally told me what was going on. We've all been worried about you. I had my theories about it. I thought that this recent behavior was because of the twins and the things that Cien is getting to experience. That you were possibly jealous of her."

"Why would I be jealous of Cien? That's ridiculous," she said, stunned.

"Because she is getting to do everything you couldn't when you were pregnant with Lana," Viran started, carefully. "Like putting together the nursery or getting to go on trips or doing fun activities like sledding. Doing things you couldn't do or weren't allowed to do when you were pregnant." Sasha looked away, trying to hide her face from him, and he realized his theory may not have been wrong either. "Sasha, you were injured by Ikari and were still recovering. We were all worried you could lose Lana after everything that happened, especially if you tried overexerting yourself. We just wanted to make sure you were both okay. I know you hated not being able to do a whole lot and feeling trapped in this house. And because of what you experienced it's okay to be jealous of Cien, at least a little bit. Or not jealous, but reminded of what you didn't get to have that's painful to look back on. I thought that maybe what was bothering you." She didn't answer him. "And based off how quiet you're being right now tells me I may not have been entirely wrong with my guess."

Sasha was quiet for a long moment before speaking again. "I'd been too distracted by the strange presence in the Force, but… you're right," she admitted, dejectedly. "That has been bothering me too. Seeing her getting to do all of this…" she paused, her voice hitching slightly. "I've been happy for her, but I wanted that with Lana. I got robbed of that. And…" she sniffed. He could feel her emotions starting to overwhelm her, "and every time I see her getting to do these things or asking about what I did, I just get reminded that I didn't have that." She said, distressed. She sniffed again as she reached up and wiped her face. "I'm not jealous of her, but the reminder does hurt. And I'm happy for her and Kyr, so please don't read me the wrong way. I just…" She trailed off as she pressed a hand to her mouth and sniffed a third time. This time Viran saw the tears.

Viran didn't let her finish as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close as she started to weep quietly against him. "Shh," Viran slowly started rocking her in his arms to help her calm down. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, okay? Just talk to Cien about this. I know she will understand. Otherwise, things will only get more tense between you two. And I hate seeing you both like this. Promise me you will talk to her about this."

Sasha didn't answer. She just continued to cry against him for a long time. Viran held her as she sobbed, waiting for her to calm down before he finally pulled away. He looked at her face as she stared just past his shoulder to the floor. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was running. He reached up and wiped her tears from her face.

"I'm sorry about what happened when you were pregnant with Lana," he said quietly. "I know it was hard on you. But it's okay to feel this way, just remember you've got us here to support you. And if it bothers you all that much, we could have another kid."

Sasha met his gaze at that, trying not to smile. She punched him lightly in the pectoral. "That's not funny."

"I know. I was being serious," Viran said, his gaze not breaking hers.

She shook her head. "As much as I would like to have another someday, I'm not ready for that now. I want to give Lana a chance to grow up a little and help Cien with the twins first."

"I figured as much. I just thought I'd ask," Viran said, smiling at her gently.

After a moment, she added. "When we do have another, can I please get to experience everything that I wasn't able to with Lana?"

"Of course," he promised. "You have my word. But first, please talk to Cien. Or at least try to. Also continue to ignore that feeling, it's most likely nothing. But if it gets worse, tell me."

Sasha hugged him again. "Thank you. And I will."

Viran nodded and held her in his arms. He then leaned in and kissed her on the lips, which they held for a moment. "Alright, I need a shower, I smell like paint," he said as he pulled away. Sasha chuckled at that as he stood and walked for the bathroom to get cleaned up.

"I think things are resolved now." Cien said thoughtfully. She leaned back against the chair and regarded the cookie in her hand critically. There was something off about it, as she feared there would be when she had made them. They weren't as perfect as they should have been. "The last time she saw me in robes like that was, really, before we went to go rescue her from the Bloodstorm." She continued quietly, trying to allude to her kidnapping Sasha without speaking of it. "It was thoughtless of me. I should have realized her seeing me like that would dredge up those memories. But we talked about it, and I think things are better now."

Kyr was leaning against his chair next to her. They had wandered in here with cookies when they both came out to get a late snack before heading to bed. And something about having the cookies had drawn them into the dining room, to their space. And despite the subject of the conversation Kyr had to smile a little bit, sitting here eating a cookie beside her once more. "That's good."

He thought for a moment about bringing up the other side of it that he and Viran had thought of; that her pregnancy was dredging up the memories of what Sasha had missed with Lana. But Cien was perceptive enough, and had a deep enough read of Sasha that she would probably know more than anyone if they had been able to get to the root of the issue and fix it. And he had to admit, after their history he couldn't really blame Sasha if she was disturbed by seeing Cien dressed in full Sith garb again.

He looked at his cookie and hid a grimace. That wasn't quite true, really.

Cien had proven herself so many times to the family, and especially to Sasha. And Cien was wrong, the last time Sasha had seen her in robes like that had been when Cien lay dying on the deck of the Bloodstorm after taking a blaster bolt for her. He swallowed, remembering that moment, and he couldn't help but feel a little sting of annoyance towards Sasha for her reaction, if it really had been because of something as… petty as seeing her in the robes. He saw the flashes of guilt that shot through Cien, the nightmares she had, for every terrible thing she had done, especially to Sasha. And she had done terrible things, he fully acknowledged that. But Cien had dedicated herself to their family, but especially to Sasha and Lana, to try to atone for all of it, as vehemently as a Wookiee taking a life debt. For the first time since he had known Sasha, he felt a bit of annoyance at her.

But as he considered his half eaten cookie in the starlight that reflected off the deep blanket of snow that covered the trees and the meadow outside, it faded. She had been a good sister to Cien. She had been a huge part of bringing her to the light, so he could be quietly enjoying a cookie next to her and the twins at this moment. Sasha would have had good reason to look at Cien as nothing but a mortal enemy, but she had instead reached out to her and that had brought her into his life. Their friendship was almost unnaturally strong, in a way. Except for a spat that they had after he had seen them trying to train together on the porch years ago when Cien had threatened to kill her, they had been the best of friends. And after he had been rescued, he had sensed that whatever had happened between them while they had worked to rescue Op, Viran and himself, they had truly and deeply grown to be sisters. So them finally having a relatively minor disagreement in the grand scheme of things, it was a reminder that they were both just… human.

All of that ran through his mind, and Cien was quietly munching on her cookie next to him as she looked absently out at the view lost in her own thoughts. She was looking out the window in a way that reminded him of the very first time they had ever talked. Though she didn't seem to be trying to ignore him now, like she had been trying to then when she had her first cookie. They were sitting together in companionable silence instead, a husband and wife enjoying a late night snack, due mainly in part to Sasha.

"These turned out great." Kyr commented, genuinely, as he took a bite. "I think you might have a future as a baker."

"Sasha told me what to do, all I did was measure things, and flip a switch on the mixer and put them in the oven." Cien said, looking at the cookie critically. And he could guess she wasn't happy with them because of something that only she could notice, and he smiled slightly at how cute it was, and how cute she was.

"That's all cooking is, is mixing stuff together the right way and then cooking it." Kyr said. "And these turned out perfect."

"I didn't let the butter come to room temperature." Cien said quietly, looking at the cookie still, lost in her own thoughts as she grimaced at yet another set of expectations she had let down.

"That could hardly have made a difference." Kyr assured her. "Really, cyar'ika, these are just as good as any cookies Sasha or Op make. You did a great job. Trust me, I know my cookies." Kyr said, wrapping an arm across her shoulders and pulling her close.

She took another bite as she smiled, a little. "I'll trust your expert opinion, then, cyar'riduur." She conceded.

"Oh, you should. I've had cookies all across the galaxy, and even the Rishi Maze, and these are the best I've had." He said, only half teasing her.

Cien smirked and looked out the window. "So is that why you offered me one when we first talked in here?" She asked. "You're an addict?"

"Yep." Kyr said, "I wanted to get you addicted to them too. Plus, I always gave cute girls cookies when I wanted to ask them out." He said with a grin.

"Oh?" She asked, looking up at him sharply. "And just how many cookies have you given out?" She asked archly.

"Just one." He stated.

"Smooth." Cien observed, borrowing a term from Sasha and rolling her eyes but smirking as she looked back out the window. "I was such a terrible person." She continued quietly. "The least of which was lashing out at everyone when I came here because I hated admitting I needed help. I can see why it upset Sasha to see that reminder of who I was." She said, with a turn towards melancholy.

"She's your sister." Kyr reminded her. "All of that is in the past. She was just next to you laughing and talking and helping you make cookies and letting you supervise dinner not a few hours ago."

"I know." Cien said, swallowing. "Aside from you, Sasha's the most important person in my life." She admitted, "and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the bond we have. She is my sister, and I would never want to do anything to hurt her. Again."

"You won't, cyar'ika." He assured her, "I know you won't." He said, hugging her closer. "Disagreements happen, but what you guys have is too strong to be broken by anything."

"I hope so." Cien said in such a small voice she almost sounded like a little girl.

Kyr just hugged her closer and enjoyed the view with her.

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