Randall's friends

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A/N - hopefully this chapter is better then the absolute cluster fluff that was the last chapter. Thought I'd upload this one quicker than next month, as to make up for the last chapter.

Some people have been asking about the secret admirer and this chapter mentions it. It's a 'is it or isn't it' type of conflict. The answer to who the secret admirer is will be in the "me no know / licence DeGill" chapter.

Anyway, hope you enjoy

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"Boy, Dad, that chicken liver and onion omelette sure smells great." Randall gushed as he smelled the breakfast being cooked.

Mr Weems looks over his shoulder to his son. "The birthday boy always gets

his favourite breakfast."

Mrs Weems walks into the kitchen and kisses Randall on the head. "Happy birthday, Randy." She then turns to look at her husband. "Leonard, I'll be home in time For Randy's birthday dinner. While I am gone, I want you to keep an eye on the swansons. I have suspicions about the legality of their cable tv hookup."

Mr Weems nods as he looks out the window. "Yes, dear. I'll surveil them good."

"I'll help, mom." Randall jumps at the chance to help.

"That's my little Gherkin." Mrs Weems patted his head.

"Of course I could be even more helpful If you got me the present I asked for." Randall hinted.

Mr Weems turns around wearing some goggles. "Ta-da! Genuine KGB surplus

night-vision goggles. I was up cooking before dawn and didn't turn on a single light. Happy birthday, son."

Randall takes the goggles, beaming In happiness. "Boss! Mom, dad, you guys are the best."

"We know, dear. Gotta run. I'll phone from the office if I can find a secure line." Mrs Weems said before she left.

"Chicken livers, night goggles-- This is the best birthday ever!" Randall cheers.

Mr Weems joins in. "And it gets better. This afternoon I'm coming to your school with goodies and surprises for all of your friends."

Randall stops, looking at his dad. "Friends?"

"You know, the ones you're always talking about. I can't wait to meet this girl that has stolen my little Randy's heart." Mr Weems says before he turns back to cooking.

Randall laughs nervously. "Oh, yeah, I remember."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Our group of eight all stepped off the bus. "So, we'll have a beanie Mcchimp marathon before a night playing the new Senior fusion?" Dede asked.

Everyone nodded, looking forward to the weekend as Senior fusion was finally being made into a video game that was being released on Friday, and Dede's parents, being as amazing as they are, agreed to buy it for her on release day. So she had made plans with her friends to have a massive sleepover on the weekend to play it, all her friends were quick to agree. "Man, this weekend is gonna be sweet." Spinelli shouts in excitement.

TJ wraps his arm around Spinelli and Dede's shoulder. "You bet, a weekend of beanie Mcchimp and senior fusion, what could be better."

As they were all busy chatting about what they were gonna do this weekend their journey to inside the school was interrupted by Randall standing in front of the main door. "Good morning, all. And how are we doing on this bright and sunny day?"

Spinelli's happy face fell at the sight of Randall. "All right, Weems, what's your angle?"

Randall shakes his head. "No angle, honest. It's just that, well, today's my birthday."

Dede rolls her eyes, not happy that their weekend planning was stopped for this. "Yeah, yeah. Birthday Schmirthday. What's that got to do with us?"

Randall rubs his hands together nervously. "Well, see, my old man is dropping by the school, and I was thinking, you know, if you're not busy, that maybe you guys would get a kick out of pretending to be my best friends

for the day?"

Paloma raised her eyebrows. "You're kidding, right?"

Dede shakes her head, not happy with what she just heard. "You want us to be your friends?"

Randall was quick to explain. "Just pretend. There's cupcakes in it for you."

Spinelli grumbled. "No lousy cupcake is going to make up for the gazillion times you ratted us out."

"I don't rat you out." Randall defends himself. "I defy you to tell me the last time I ratted you out."

Gus was quick to answer. "Yesterday. You told Miss Finster I used the word poop deck, and we were studying pirates."

Randall shrugs, not denying it. "OK, you made your point. But help me this once and I promise not to snitch for a whole month."

Spinelli rolls her eyes. "My uncle always says: 'Deal with a weasel, and you're going to get scratched.'"

TJ was quick to agree with his friends. "Yeah, no deal, weasel."

Randall sighs, realising he has to go to extreme measures as he watches the eight walk away from him. "I didn't want to resort to this but this document says that TJ Detweiler was the one who threw Principal Prickly's flip-flops on the roof last week, and it's written on official board of ed stationery."

The eight stopped in their tracks, gasping. "But TJ didn't do anything of the kind!" Mickey says.

Randall waves the document back and forth. "That's not what the document says."

TJ steps forward a bit. "I don't care, Randall! I'd rather take the fall for a crime that I didn't commit than pretend to be friends with you."

Randall looks down sadly as even blackmailing them didn't work. "All I wanted was for my father to think I had friends. I told them all about you, guys, and I sort of figured, since you guys are the coolest kids on the playground, that maybe you'd play along. I guess I was wrong."

TJ watched as Randall walked away, sadly before he turned to look at his friends. "Uh, guys--"

Spinelli quickly shot him down. "Don't even say it, TJ."

TJ gestured to Randall. "But look at the poor kid. He's more hunched than usual. Ask yourself who among us would want their parents to know they were the most unpopular kid in school?"

Vince tried to fight TJs statement. "Teej, he's unpopular for a good reason."

TJ shakes his head. "Good reason, bad reason, it's still his birthday. Without friends, a kid's birthday is just another day of the year."

Paloma nods. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to pretend, you know, just for one day."

Vince also agreed now. "He did call us the coolest kids on the playground."

Gretchen's mind also seemed to have changed. "And that fake note did seem like a genuine cry for help.

TJ looks at Dede and Spinelli, knowing they'd be the hardest to convince. Spinelli caved first. "OK, fine, I'll go along

with your dopey plan, but I ain't happy about it."

TJ grins at that before he looks at Dede with his boyish smile and puppy dog eyes, knowing that Dede couldn't resist. "Fine. But only for the school day and NOT a single second longer. Deal."

TJ nodded in agreement. "You got it. Randall!"

Randall pauses in his walk into the school to look back at the eight. "You'll do it?"

They all walked to be closer to each other. "Until the bell rings at exactly 3:15,

and not a second longer." TJ says, letting him know the condition that Dede set.

Randall was too happy to care about the condition though. "Yes! I knew you guys were the best!"

Tak stopped him before he could get too close to them. "Before we start, Randall,

lose the bogus note."

Randall scrunched the paper up. "Sure, anything you want, buddy." TJ glared at him. "Uh... temporary buddy." Randall throws the paper into the trash bin.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

At the end of class, about 10 minutes before recess was to start, Miss Grotke made an announcement to the class. "Attention, everyone. Today we have a very special visitor. Let's all warmly welcome Randall's father, Mr. Weems."

The classroom door opened and Mr Weems entered, carrying a box with him. "Hello, boys and girls. I brought you all some treats in honour of Randy's birthday."

Mr Weems opens the box and all the students sniff at the good smell that emanates from it. "Something smells mighty good." Vince says.

Mikey takes another sniff. "It's the unmistakable aroma of homemade cupcakes. Cooked at degrees for minutes and, yes, buttercream frosting."

Mr Weems sets the box on Miss Grotke's desk. "Come on up and help yourself to cupcakes. I made them myself from a neighbour's recipe. It was just sitting there in a recycling bin." As the students got up to grab a cupcake, Mr Weems started to hand some out. "There you are, T.J. Take a big one, Mikey. Gretchen, here's one with sprinkles. And Dede, here's a strawberry one for you. Paloma, Gus, Vince, Spinelli, help yourselves."

TJ talks through a mouth full. "Thanks, Mr. Weens. This is the best cupcake I ever tasted."

Mr Weems smiles. "Nothing but the best for Randy's pals."

TJ was confused for a bit., until Randall mimed to play along. "Oh, sure, Randy's a real pal. "

Vince joins in. "Yep, he's one of the guys."

Spinelli as well. "My paisano."

"All of the above." Gretchen adds.

Mr Weems smiles at the friends. "And after you're done eating, there's a surprise waiting on the playground."

Mikey perks up at this. "A mixing bowl to lick?"

"Even better."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Upon going out onto the playground the kids all saw a bouncy castle sitting there. "Whompin' bobyula! A bounce at recess?" Spinelli cheers. "Somebody pinch me. Ow." Spinelli playfully glared at Dede who just smiled innocently after she had pinched Spinelli.

TJ laughs at what he just saw happen. "Nothing says happy birthday like the reckless abandon of a bouncy room."

Gretchen was also excited. "It's a little slice of chaos in an all-too-orderly universe."

Randall walks up to the group of friends and rests his hand on TJs shoulder. "Glad you're enjoying yourselves,

'friends.'"

Vince joined in the conversation. "Hey, anytime you need pretend pals for a special day, you just name it, Randall."

"I'll hold you to that, Vince-ter." And the three boys laugh.

After a few minutes the bouncy castle was fully inflated. "OK, children, she's fully inflated."

"Thanks again, Mr. Weems. This rocks." Spinelli said as they all ran past him to get to the bouncy castle.

Mr Weems smiles in satisfaction. "Well, I didn't do this just to be nice. The fact is, I've been eager to meet Randy's friends after hearing so much about you all."

Dede nods as she is behind the group. "Yeah, well, we all love that Randy."

Mr Weems smirks at that word play. "But you especially, hey, Dede?"

Dede stops dead in her tracks and turns to look at Mr Weems. "Excuse me?"

Mr Weems walks closer to Dede. "All I can say is don't you rush my Randy into marriage now, little girl."

Dede stands there in complete shock. "Ma... Ma…"

Mr Weems chuckles, thinking Dede was embarrassed about him knowing of something. "Randy's told me all about how you leave little notes for him, signed by 'secret admirer', he doesn't tell you that he knows there from you as he doesn't want to to be too embarrassed and stop."

Dede was too shocked to speak. As far as she knew the only people that knew about her and notes from a 'secret admirer' were her, her friends, Miss Grotke and the secret admirer themselves. This led to a thought that she didn't want to have, was Randall her secret admirer? She shook her head to clear that thought, wanting more than anything for that to not be true.

Spinelli heard all this and ran back, wrapping an arm around Dede's shoulder in comfort. "And what's he say about me?" She asked slightly miffed as she knew that Dede was always happy to receive a note from her secret admirer, but now knowing that it might be Randall will take that little bit of happiness away.

Mr Weems just looked at Spinelli and she silently comforted Dede. "Just that you were the most aggressive student on the playground until Randy calmed you down by introducing you to the others."

All the others ran up, hearing the conversation that was going on. "What does Randall say about me, Mr. Weems?" Gus asked.

"Only that you and Paloma are the new kids."

Gus and Paloma looked at each other. "Oh."

"Who Randy stands up and protects from various school bullies cause you aren't good at defending yourselves or making friends."

Paloma was shocked by this. "What! Randall protecting us!?"

Mr Weems nods. "Yeah especially from You, Mikey, or should I say Mike The Mauler? Hard to believe you were such a vicious bully not long ago. Randy sure has done well to teach you the wisdom of turning the other cheek."

All of the were beyond shocked at this as Mikey was the most gentlest people they knew, and Gretchen was the one to voice this. "I beg your pardon, Mr. Weems, but Mikey's pacifism is tested by Randall, not learned from him."

Mr Weems didn't seem to hear this statement for what it was though. "Is that jealousy I'm hearing from the second smartest student in school?"

Vince saw where this was going. "Let me guess. I'm the second best athlete?"

"Second best is nothing to be ashamed of, Vince. Randy's offered to train you. Learn from him."

TJ looks at Nr Weems, so far being the only one not to know what was said about him. "Uh, Sir, what about me?"

"You are a great kid. It's hard to imagine you didn't have any friends until Randy convinced others to play with you. Hey, how about a picture of the pals?" All eight of them stayed huddled together, all with different expressions on their faces, ranging from shock to anger, as Mr Weems went to take a picture. "Drat, out of microfilm. I'll get another roll from the sport-utility."

TJ was the first to explode in his anger. "He convinced others to play with me? Why, I've got half a mind to--"

"Detweiler!" They all looked over to see Ms Finster near them. "I knew I'd catch

the culprit sooner or later." TJ was confused by this until she brought out the price of paper that Randall had thrown away earlie. "This official memo proves you're the rapscallion who threw Principal Prickly's flip-flops on the roof."

"I'm innocent, I am telling you." TJ turned to look at Randall. "Randall, you set me up."

Randall ran up to the group, trying to plead his case. "But I didn't. I... I--"

Ms Finster was having none of it though. "You and the birthday boy can iron out your differences later, after one week of level-4 detention."

Ms Finster started to drag TJ off. "I've been framed!"

Randall looks at the other members of the gang and nervously laughs when he sees them all glaring at him. "Anyone for a bounce?"

The gang all chase Randall, wanting to get back at him for getting their friend into trouble. They ended up chasing him onto the bouncy castle where Vince was the first to voice his threat. "When we catch you, we are going to bounce you to the moon!"

Randall was bouncing all over the place, avoiding anyone that tried to grab him. "But I threw the note in the trash."How was I supposed to know Finster would find it?"

Gretchen tried to grab him but he jumped out of the way. "You should have never made it in the first place!"

Dede was now closing in on Randall. "I knew we shouldn't have agreed to show you kindness. Showing you kindness always ends up with us having a knife in our backs!"

Mikey was just standing in the middle of the bouncy castle trying to calm everyone down. "Please, friends, violence only begets more violence."

It was Mikey however that stopped Randall, as Randall ended up bouncing into Mikey, knocking him down. As the group all surrounded him, Paloma was the one to speak first. "The jig is up, Weems."

Spinelli nods in agreement. "Prepare to be dribbled like a human basketball."

Randal holds his hand up, hoping to get them to listen to him. "Wait! Would you believe I have a plan?"

Vince rolls his eyes. "Not interested."

Randall sits up fully. "Look, I know you guys don't like me, and I am kind of not too fond of you either. But dribbling me Won't get TJ out of detention."

Gretchen scoffs. "Forgive our distrust, but helping TJ's never been very high on your priorities list, Randall."

Randall nodded, understanding what Gretchen was saying. "Until today. TJ looked past our differences and was there for me when I needed fake friends. Now he's in trouble because of my note. I just want a chance to pay him back."

All seven of them looked between each other before sighing as Spinelli answered for them. "All right, weasel, what's the plan?"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The gang had left the bouncy castle to start Randall's plan. Vince had just finished tying a bunch of shoelaces together. "OK, Randall, we made a rope. Now what?"

"There's only one thing can countermand

an official board of ed letter, and that's a pardon typed on principal Prickly's personal stationery." Randall answered as they all moved to do what was needed. Randall walked into the office, sighing in relief when it was just Miss Lemon there as Menlo was out. "Miss Lemon."

Miss Lemon looked up from putting a new piece of paper into her typewriter. "What is it, Randall? I'm busy."

"Miss Finster needs to know who has detention duty this week."

Miss Lemon groans as she gets up to look inside the filing cabinet behind her. "I don't see why she can't come in herself and look it up." As she was doing this Randall tied the shoelace rope around the leg of the table before throwing the other end out the window, where Dede grabbed it and pulled, bringing the table to the window. "It says Miss Grotke has detention duty this week."

Randall scratched his head, trying to come up with excuses to keep Miss Lemon from seeing her missing table. "Well, who has cafeteria duty?"

Miss Lemon just looked confused. "Why in the world would Muriel need to know that?"

Randall shrugs. "Ours is not to reason why."

Miss Lemon grumbles as she goes back to the filing cabinet as the group outside lifts up the typewriter, allowing Gretchen to start writing the letter. "Tell Miss Finster that Coach Kloogie has cafeteria duty this week."

Randall was struggling now. "Um, who has teachers' lounge duty?"

Outside Gretchen was almost done with the letter. "After careful investigation, I have determined that TJ Detweiler is innocent of any wrongdoing involving me or my flip-flops. Yours in school, Peter Prickly."

"Sweet! It even has the crooked "f" Miss Lemon's typewriter is famous for." Vince cheers.

Gretchen agrees. "We just need the person with the most illegible handwriting to sign it."

"That would be me." Gus says, kinda proudly.

Back in the office, the gang was able to put the typewriter back on the table and wheel it back over to its original place before Miss Lemons realised. "Hey, wait a darn minute. There's no such thing as teachers' lounge duty."

Randall shrugged. "Oops, my mistake. Bye now."

Miss Lemon sat back down to start typing, only to see no paper in the machine. "What the devil? No paper? Oh, honey, you are losing your mind."

Back outside Randall had rejoined the group as he and high fives Spinelli. "Nerves of steel, Weems."

Gretchen also high fives him. "That was positively TJ-esque."

Randall smiled, happy with himself. "There will be time for praise later. Right now we have to give this bogus letter To Finster and free TJ."

Mr. Weems' voice is heard from behind the group. "Randy! Did I just see what I think I saw?"

Randall looks scared at being caught. "I am not sure, father."

Mr Weems elaborates. "Did I just see you mastermind the writing of a forged note?"

Randall sighs. "Yes, father."

"To help one Of your closest friends out of a serious jam?"

"That's right, father. One of my closest friends."

"I see. Miss Finster, Miss Finster!" Mr Weems runs off to find Miss Finster with the kids all following behind him. "I caught Randall and his posse trying to spring that Detweiler boy."

Miss Finster looks down at Randall. "Randall, is this true?"

Randall looks down in shame. "Yes, ma'am, but don't punish the others, it was all my fault. I wrote the note that implicated TJ in the first place."

This made Mr Weems gasp in shock while Miss Finster shakes her head in disappointment. "Randall, I'm very disappointed in you. These crimes demand the strictest punishment. But since you're a first-time offender with a spotless record, and seeing as it's your birthday, I'll let you off with a probationary detention level one this time." She turns and hands a cookie to Mr Weems. "Thank you, Mr. Weems. Here's a cookie."

Dede just looks at Miss Finster. "Miss Finster, what about TJ?"

This seemed to remind her that the note was fake. "Oh, yeah, him. Come along and I'll release him."

As Miss Finster and the gang all left to get TJ, Randall turned to look at his dad. "I'm sorry, Dad. I guess I let you down."

Mr Weems crossed his arms, looking down at his son. "I think you'd better explain yourself."

"Well, I wanted you to think I had friends in school."

"You mean these eight aren't your friends?"

"No, father."

"And you don't run around with them every recess as you said, hatching plans and ruling the roost?"

"All a big, horrible lie, Sir."

"You know I hate lying, Randall." Mr Weems sighs in relief. "But what a relief."

Randall was confused at this. "Huh?"

Mr Weems patted Randall on the back. "I was starting to worry about you, kiddo. I was saying to myself, 'Weems,

you don't even know your own son.'"

"You mean you don't care that I don't have any friends?"

"Of course not. All I want is for you to be proud of who you are. Heck, I used to be the same way when I was your age: a lone hawk keeping a watchful eye, with no personal relationships to distract me from my appointed task."

Randall was happy with this. "Wow, Dad, I never thought of that. I guess for us snitches, friends just get in the way."

"Now you are talking. But remember, a Weems never lies or sneaks around behind the back of authority. Unless, of course, he's currying the favour of an even bigger authority."

"Sorry, Dad. I'll never do it again."

"That's my boy. Now what do you say we get some ice cream and surveil the Swansons?"

"I'll use my night-vision goggles."

"And I'll use mine."

The gang all stood there and watched what had happened after they had gotten TJ out of detention, none knowing what to make of the father son duo and Spinelli was the one to voice this. "And I thought my family was weird."

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THE END

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