A/N Hey sorry for taking so long to update again. I was hitting a wall. This is a bit of a filler chapter but it has some important bits.
If anyone would like to be my beta I would honestly be so thankful. It might make keeping consistency easier. I jump POV quite a bit in this one.
I hope you all like this chapter. Thank you to everyone who commented, subscribed, and sent kudos. I live for you.
Happy reading!
Hermione spent the rest of the night and most of the following day in her rooms. She had dove head first into researching her journals to distract her from the torment of reliving the horcrux incident with Harry. She had been vacillating between missing him and being terrified to see him again. This was made all the more confusing by the shroud of the bond she shared with him which seemed restless. She hoped that her journals would shed some light on that bond as well, if she was the one that put it there.
As Hermione read through her journals she found an immense amount of research and contingency plans but nothing concrete about the rituals. It annoyed her to no end that her journaling had stopped the day her parents had died. In essence the research for the ritual was only half formed, wherever the other half was it was not among her possessions. But she knew herself, there were notes somewhere, plans hidden.
"Why would it be separate? Hermione, think. Old magic rituals are generally against the law. So I hid the evidence. I couldn't risk being found out but I also didn't want anyone else to attempt it. Where did I keep my notes? Someplace where no one else could find them?" Hermione mused to herself as she finally got up from bed. She had skipped breakfast and her stomach was reminding her that she needed sustenance.
As her mind wandered, so did her legs. She was not paying attention as she seemed to recede into her mind library and depend on muscle memory to take her where she needed to go, Hermione found herself in front of a familiar door on the seventh floor. How did I get here? Why do I need to go to the room of lost things?
Putting her faith in fate for once, Hermione opened the door and walked into the cluttered and monumental room. Could her missing research be here somewhere? When she tried a few summoning spells with no results she grew frustrated. Her subconscious took her here so there had to be a reason for it. Laying her wand flat on her palm she whispered, "Point me."
The delicate wand swiveled in circles before finally choosing a direction that would lead her to the deep heart of the perilous room. A part of her had always been curious about the contents of the large space but she hardly had time to go rooting around in it. With a deep breath Hermione followed the wand's lead.
As Hermione trekked she tried not to become distracted with the multitudes of lost objects ranging from old homework to whole beds. There were mountains of old desks and chests full of unmatched earrings and socks. The most intriguing and beguiling were the books. Maybe one day when the war is over I can come up here with Severus and see what books we can find.
The thought brought warmth and also guilt at assuming he would want to stay with her after the war. If all their plans went accordingly they would end the war alive and no longer bound together. He would have no reason to stay by her side. The thought made her heart ache terribly but she pushed it aside as she came upon a large chest that bore her magical signature.
With practiced ease she took down her complicated wards and protections. There was a feeling of deja vu that wasn't at all surprising. Once freed the chest opened easily and inside, among a collection of books were three journals that she vaguely recognized. She cast a quick spell to check the time and saw that she had missed dinner so there was no reason for her to hurry. A quick spell pulled a chair and small table up next to the chest ready for her to begin her reading. It was only a few pages into the first journal when her eyes widened and an expression of shock came upon her face. This is not good.
Harry had been through a lot in life; from the abuse from his uncle and aunt, to the annual fight against evil. He had felt everything from anger, vengeance, and regret to joy, acceptance, and love. But this complete self hatred and worthlessness was new and he welcomed it. After what he had done, he deserved it. Remus had done his best to comfort him but also scold him for his recklessness. He couldn't blame him. Seeing Hermione so afraid of him, rightly afraid of him had broken something inside him.
"Harry, you must get up and eat something. I don't know how much longer I can convince Sirius that you're just brooding over a row with Hermione," Remus whispered as he shook Harry's shoulder. The mention of the girl he loved made him shut his eyes tight, trying to will away the vision of her fearful eyes and his hands around her neck. "Severus took her back to Hogwarts last night. You don't have to face her yet."
The silence was loud after the admission. The jealousy that had been so present every time the Potions Master was mentioned was replaced by a quiet gratefulness. She deserved someone who could protect her. Even if it meant protecting her from him. With a laborious sigh Harry sat up and cast his puffy red eyes at the werewolf. "How am I ever going to face her again?"
"She's your best friend, Harry. She's already forgiven you. It was the horcrux manipulating you," Remus gripped the younger man's shoulder.
"It wasn't though. I've been jealous of them ever since the bond was revealed. I've been so angry and selfish, like a cup in my head is being overrun with contempt. I was controlling it before the locket, but the horcrux was too strong. It was like the devil on your shoulder but there was no angel on the other to talk you back to reason," Harry dropped his face into his hands feeling the guilty tears well up again.
Remus seemed to think for a moment before responding, "A horcrux is the darkest of dark magic. Even the most innocent person could be swayed to darker tendencies by wearing one. Don't be too hard on yourself. Learn from this and don't be so reckless, we are here to help you shoulder your burden. No amount of darkness can pull you from the light when the people that love you won't allow it."
"I love her, Remus. I've ruined everything," Harry sobbed.
"I know. Anyone with a brain could tell how much she means to you. I cannot speak for Hermione, but at least take comfort in knowing that she is your childhood friend, she will always be on your side. Years of fighting evil with you is enough to prove her loyalty," The werewolf tried to reassure him.
"She's better off with Snape anyway," Harry admitted, choking on the words and feeling the bond around his shoulders douse him in a cold wave. It made him shiver and in turn Remus pulled him into his arms to soothe him.
Later that night as he lay in bed in the room he shared with Ron the inevitable questions began.
"So are you going to tell me what happened or keep me in the dark like everyone else?" Ron said, sounding irritated.
"I took a wand oath, Ron. When we get back to the castle we plan on having a meeting about the bonds and the horcruxes with the Malfoys and Hermione. I promise we will tell you then." Harry whispered, praying that his friend wouldn't push the issue.
"Just tell me one thing if you can?" Ron replied into the dark room, "Did you hurt her?"
Harry felt the urge to wretch as the memories of the night before were summoned back to the forefront of his mind. His voice shook and came out as an incoherent sob, "Yes."
It took Ron a moment to respond, "She's okay though? Snape took her, didn't he?"
He could hear the pity in his friend's words. Harry wished Ron would get angry, fight with him, beat him. Something to feel like he was punished for what he had done. But Ron remained steadfast and quiet, "He took her back to school. She's ok…thanks to him."
"That's the important part. Whatever it is, Harry. Hermione will forgive you. That's how she is," With that said Ron turned over and promptly fell asleep.
Harry stared into the darkness and felt tears falling from the corners of his eyes again. I don't deserve her forgiveness.
Severus paced up and down his sitting room. Draco and Narcissa were already sitting at his small breakfast table as they waited for the other students and Remus to arrive. Hermione had been closed off the last few days, understandably. Though she had made time to take tea with him and Narcissa the past few days to update the woman on recent events and share information. But this would be the first time she would be in the presence of Potter since the incident.
The Gryffindor students would be arriving soon. Hermione had just passed through his wards when the fire flared and Remus entered the space, to be closely followed by Sirius Black. Severus occluded hard at the sight of the dark haired mutt.
"Play nice, you two. Harry asked that Sirius be here and Merlin knows it's better for me to bring him along rather than letting him stew until he blasts his way into the castle," Remus barked. The harsh tone belied his frustrations.
Before Severus could argue, Hermione walked in and nodded to everyone before taking her seat near him in an armchair. He touched her shoulder softly in greeting and she touched his hand in response, a small smile directed at him. The bond flared to life as Severus instinctually sent her comforting feelings with his magic. Her fiery magic met him and the both of them visibly relaxed.
"Hermione, I hope you are well," Remus said before taking a seat on the couch near her.
"I'm alright, Remus. Between studying and having tea with Professor Snape and the Malfoys I've been able to calm down and process everything," Hermione looked pensive as she continued, "How is Harry?"
"He's been moping around the last week, Hermione. I know you had a row but the boy is practically love sick. Come on kitten, whatever he did couldn't have been that bad." Sirius made his way around the sofa so he could stand behind Remus. Severus bristled at the pet name, ready to send a sharp verbal barb his way but Hermione squeezed his hand, stopping him in his tracks.
"Sirius, what are you doing here exactly?" Her voice was controlled. It was obvious that she was occluding.
"Harry wants him here, Hermione. I think it would be good to have him as another contact outside of the castle as you all continue your research. Harry trusts him and so do I," Remus reasoned.
"I think if you can accept Cissy and her spawn you could let me slide, kitten. I owe you my life and I still have to pay you back for that," Black said flippantly.
Severus squeezed her shoulder again, deferring the decision to her. She glanced at him and sighed, "An armistice then? Sirius, Severus, you must be civil. We are all on the same team. Is that clear?"
Severus smirked at the authoritative tone of his bonded. He was reminded again and again that though she was young she was strong and powerful. "I can be the epitome of civility, Miss Granger. I've actually struck up quite a friendly acquaintance with Remus since learning I was part of his pack. I'm sure, given his cooperation, Sirius could learn to. Respect. Others."
Black was ready to start yelling when the door to Severus' quarters opened and the rest of the Gryffindors filed in. Ginny and Ron crossed the room quickly, hugging Hermione. Ginny sat on the arm of her chair and the Weasley boy took a spot on the couch next to Remus. Potter kept his eyes to the ground as he crossed to the last available armchair. Greetings were exchanged all around until silence fell.
"Everyone please put out your wands, I have to expand the wand oath to include Ginny, Mrs. Malfoy, Ron and Sirius," Hermione stood. Severus removed his hand from her shoulder, realizing he had been touching her the whole time. Black and Weasley tried to argue but a look from some of the others in the room silenced them. Once the wand oath was expanded the real meeting began. Severus had the overwhelming feeling that this was the beginning to the end of the war.
Harry listened but did not raise his head as information was shared. The horcruxes were explained briefly with Hermione leading the conversation. He couldn't look up. He dared not look at Hermione. The guilt and shame were eating away at him. Sirius had moved to stand next to his armchair and he took what strength he could from his presence.
"Harry, you alright son?" Sirius spoke in a low voice, concern marring his face. Harry nodded but kept his eyes downward.
"So far we know that the diary from 2nd year, the ring Dumbledore found, and the locket are horcruxes. Thanks to Draco and seconded by Mrs. Malfoy we have concluded that Nagini, Voldemort's snake, may also be a horcrux," Hermione spoke, confidently. It relieved Harry a bit to see her resilience after what he had done to her.
"The Malfoys will work on retrieving the Hufflepuff chalice, if that is what Bellatrix was entrusted with. Until then, we are working on figuring out what the Ravenclaw relic is as well as the best ways to destroy the horcruxes." Professor Snape continued.
"And what does Dumbledore think of all this?" Sirius asked, making Harry wince. He knew his godfather had borderline blind faith in the Headmaster.
"He does not and will not find out that we know about the Horcruxes," Snape replied, a threatening tone to his voice, "If he should find out about you or any of Potter's friends, it would be believable considering Albus's suggestion that Harry seek aid from those he trusts. But he cannot be made privy to all of our plans. Hence the wand oath."
Harry looked up and met the professor's eyes for the first time since he had arrived in the man's chambers. He saw a flash of pity in his eyes but it was replaced with his regular black stare. Relief flooded his senses. The worry that the jealousy would flair up again upon seeing his nemesis for Hermione's affections, were assuaged. He did not feel the possessive waves and murderous intent that had embodied him so recently.
"I can sense I will be out voted if I disagree," Sirius intoned, "Now what happened on Christmas?"
"I'd like to know too," Ron said, speaking up for the first time during the meeting, "Hermione disappeared, obviously you brought her back here Professor. But why? They haven't even looked at each other this whole meeting."
"When Harry received the locket from Kreacher it had some adverse effects on him and by extension, me," Hermione explained calmly. Harry stilled as he listened to her diffuse the situation, "Professor Snape and Remus concluded that it would be better if we were separated to decrease the effect the locket had on us until we are able to destroy it."
He could tell that Ron didn't quite believe the simple explanation but a subtle shake of his head towards his friend told him to wait until later for more.
"Hermione, why are you letting Snape make decisions about your safety for you? I thought you were bound to Harry too?" Sirius asked. Harry was going to tell him off but Remus beat him to it.
"Sirius, it was a decision Hermione, Severus, and I agreed upon. The dark magic of a horcrux can…encourage behavior that can harm others. With how close Harry and Hermione are it only made sense. Don't make any insinuations. I know nothing about a bond between the two of them, however." Remus had steel behind his voice. Harry didn't feel so bad knowing that even he was growing annoyed with his godfather. But now that the bond was out it seemed everyone was expecting him to talk. But once again Hermione took over.
"While a bond exists between me and Professor Snape, we also discovered a different bond between Harry and I. No, we don't know who put it there or the purpose of the bond. Mrs. Malfoy, the Professor, and I are doing our research to find out more about the bonds. But I have noticed a distinct difference between the two bonds. The one between me and Harry isn't nearly as strong and doesn't seem to have the same level of compulsion or negative effects that the one between Professor Snape and I have," Hermione responded in a practiced manner. Harry had a feeling that she might know more about the bond between them than she was letting on but he didn't have the will to push her to explain further.
"So you're just choosing the bond with Snape over Harry?" Sirius looked baffled.
"Sirius, just drop it. You won't understand it even if we all gave you an explanation," Harry snapped at his godfather who looked even more flabbergasted. Thankfully Ginny got the meeting back on track.
"So what's the next step?" Ginny asked. She had been taking everything in calmly and was still seated next to Hermione, stroking the older girl's hair absently.
"We have to destroy the locket," Draco responded. "I call dibs!"
"Draco!" Mrs. Malfoy flicked his forehead making the boy yelp.
"You will not be calling 'dibs' on the destruction of a dark object containing a piece of the Dark Lord's soul!" Snape snapped at the blonde boy.
"Do we even know how to destroy it?" Remus asked, looking at the Potions Master.
Confident in what knowledge he did have, Harry spoke, "Basilisk venom. The diary in second year, I pierced it with a basilisk fang. The sword of Gryffindor can also destroy it because I used it to kill the basilisk. But getting the sword out of Dumbledore's office without him noticing would be impossible."
"Did you happen to save some of that venom, Potter? I unfortunately do not have any in my ingredient storage," Snape rolled his eyes, sarcastic as ever.
"He didn't need to. The basilisk is still down there," Hermione said, finally meeting his eyes. They stared at each other for a moment before the corner of her mouth lifted in a soft smile. That one gesture made Harry want to weep in relief. He was sure she would look at him with fear or hatred but he only saw the same eyes of the young woman he loved.
"Albus said he took care of it. You mean to tell me he left an entire basilisk down there to rot when I asked him if I could harvest it?!" The look on Snape's face would be comical in any other situation. "The amount of rare potions ingredients that went to waste! That old fool!"
"Severus," Hermione said his name in an amused voice, reaching for his hand. The obvious affection made Harry's heart ache, "The skeleton is still down there. Harry and I went down there in third year one night when he couldn't sleep and I was curious. I missed that little adventure, remember?"
Harry saw the moment Snape remembered that Hermione had been petrified that year. He paled and squeezed her hand. It was a small movement, a minute change that spoke volumes about how much the man cared for Hermione. It was a painful realization to know that he was losing her but a relief to know that the older man cared for her as much as he did.
"I don't know why you all had to come. It could have just been me and Potter," Draco said, looking back at the group following him. He walked in the front next to Harry, followed by Remus and Sirius. Hermione took up the rear with Severus. Ginny and Ron had opted out of the adventure and Mrs. Malfoy said she had no interest in walking in the sewers.
"Draco, I don't think any of us could have stopped Professor Snape from coming down here to do some harvesting," Hermione laughed, nudging the man's side with her shoulder. The dark of the tunnels had been a great cover for all the 'accidental' touches she had been initiating between them. Staying away from him the last few days had helped her get her thoughts and feelings in order, but the bond had grown needy for interaction.
"That I can agree with, Hermione," Draco called from the front of the group, "Potter was necessary to open the chamber, and obviously wherever Harry or Uncle go, you go. I'm wondering about these two."
His gesture backwards was flippant and tinged with excitement. Hermione rolled her eyes and next to her Severus scoffed.
"It's a dark object, Mister Malfoy. I think having a few experienced wizards here while you destroy it is a necessary measure," Remus chimed in as he surveyed the area, swiveling his head left and right as if they could be attacked at any moment.
"That I can concede to, former Professor Lupin. What about the mutt?" Draco stopped as they entered a larger chamber, turning back to look at the group.
Harry shoved Draco but not in any way that would hurt. It was oddly satisfying to see the two acting friendly, "Malfoy, that's my godfather you're talking about."
"Hey, I haven't said shit whenever you call my godfather a greasy bat of the dungeons!" Draco answered back, shoving Harry and running off down the chamber.
The rest of them hurried to follow the two teenagers. They all stopped as they took in the room before them. The great opened mouthed stone face and the long and winding skeleton of a large basilisk still made her skin crawl.
"Oy! Potter, you killed that when you were twelve?!" The shock on Draco's face reminded Hermione of the first time she had laid eyes on it too. Except she had immediately started sobbing and thrown her arms around Harry, relieved that they were both alive.
"Harry! Your father would have been so proud! This is practically the size of a dragon!" Sirius exclaimed as he circled the skeleton. Remus also looked impressed and proud.
Hermione looked to her side to ask what Severus thought but he was already a few meters away gently yanking basilisk fangs out of the skull of the serpent and tucking them into a pouch inside his robes. While the two boys and the remaining Marauders marveled over the reality of Harry's heroism, Hermione helped Severus collect as much of the basilisk that was still usable.
It was quick work and Hermione supposed this was the closest to giddy she would ever see Severus as he smiled softly at the haul of ingredients that filled his extendable pouch.
"You two lovebirds done scavenging?" Draco popped up next to them, taking one of the fangs from the pouch.
"Are you sure you want to be the one to do this?" Severus asked Draco, looking at him seriously.
"Yes, godfather. I feel like I have to do this," the Slytherin got a far away look in his eyes before he refocused and nodded at them.
Severus and Remus made a perimeter around Draco and kept the whole ordeal contained in a powerful shielded dome that reminded her of a large bubble head charm. Harry and Sirius stood next to Hermione a distance away behind another shield. It was rather anticlimactic if she was honest. There was a tingle of dark magic and a noxious cloud of dark smoke erupted from the locket. It seemed that the three inside the perimeter were reacting to something that the rest of them couldn't see. But Draco was able to stab the locket with the fang and the black cloud seemed to collapse into itself and disappear.
Once the shields were let down Severus covered the expanse between them in a few strides and wrapped Hermione into a tight embrace. It was surprising that he would shuck propriety in front of so many people. He was shaking as she brought her arms around him and let him collect himself. He sniffled against her hair and seemed to choke back a sob.
"I'm here, Severus. I've got you," Hermione whispered, kissing his neck, the only skin she could reach. She looked past him to see Sirius holding Remus and to her surprise, Harry was helping Draco to his feet, giving him a shoulder to lean on.
The trek back up to the castle was quiet. Severus held Hermione's hand in a firm grip, not caring that the rest of the group would notice if they looked back at them. As if he could feel her examining him, Severus met her gaze, "I will show you another time. I promise."
Severus lay in his bed spooned up against the warm body of a woman he clearly didn't deserve but wanted anyway. She had refused to leave him after the return from the Chamber of Secrets. Hermione had not pushed for an explanation. Instead she helped him store the ingredients they had collected and then guided him to his bedroom. She had methodically helped him undress and get ready for bed before doing the same and joining him. Severus should have sent her away but he couldn't. He was lost in the memories of what he saw when the locket had been opened.
"Ready when you are, Draco," Remus said after the shield was in place.
He looked over to his godson and nodded. The boy hesitated for only a moment before letting out a long sigh then thrust the basilisk fang towards the locket. It opened before he touched it, the horcrux obviously sensed the danger it was in.
The black cloud it emitted began to transform before them. When Severus realized it was a vision of Hermione, he knew that the other two, who were equally horrified, were seeing their own nightmares. Instinctively occluding, Severus was able to keep most of his control. But the horcrux version of Hermione attacking all of his insecurities.
"You really think I would choose you over the-Boy-Who-Lived. Someone young and handsome. A Potter. Lily was right to choose James. Who would want you?" The vision of Hermione reached her hand out to her side and a vision of the Potter boy appeared, wrapping his arms around her from behind, kissing her neck and sneering at him. The two of them laughed and laughed.
Severus felt sick and looked away. The visions changed and called to him again. When he looked up it was to see Hermione begging on her knees for him to save her as Voldemort cast a cruciatus curse followed by the killing curse. The vision of the dark wizard grinned as he mocked him, kicking the lifeless form of the vision of Hermione, "Another little mudblood, Severus? Your taste is abysmal. You were always going to end up a disappointment. To me. To that old fool, Dumbledore. Now your second little slut goes to her grave while you watch, helpless, useless."
Rage coupled with grief were doing their best to take over his mind but he shut his eyes, willing the visions to cease. But when he opened them again it was to see Hermione begging him to let her go. It was like he was holding her down onto his bed but had no control of his limbs. He was trapped inside a body that was forcing itself upon her. It was a small mercy when the vision dissipated before he was forced to witness an assault of the young woman he cared for as if he were the one enacting it.
When the Chamber of Secrets flooded into his vision again Severus felt the bond screaming at him to find her. He abandoned the other two who had also suffered the effects of the horcrux and didn't stop moving until he was wrapped around her with his face in her hair and taking in her comforting scent and touch. If they had been alone he would have wept but her words of comfort were enough to ground him. He knew then and there he loved this wonderful witch and would do anything to have a future with her.
"Severus, I'm here," Hermione mumbled sleepily as she turned in his arms and kissed his jaw then buried her face against his shoulder. He pulled her in closer, kissing her temple, then her cheek, and then her lips. Even half asleep she returned his kiss with soft passion and reassurance. He felt her lean back and he hovered over her, deepening the kiss. He basked in her affections, savored the feel of her soft body, and drank in every hitched breath and whimper.
Between kisses he whispered, "Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me."
When they parted she looked up at him, concerned and loving in a way no one else had ever looked at him. She cupped his cheek and then combed her fingers through his hair before cradling his head against her chest. Shushing him softly, "I'm not going anywhere, Severus. I will do everything to stay with you, I promise."
Severus had finally succumbed to sleep, sprawled half on top of her with his head nestled against her chest. His arm was wrapped around her waist possessively while his legs were entwined with hers. Where he ended and she began was hard to find. She should have been asleep too, relishing the intimacy. Who knew if he would recede back into his Professor persona again, or if he would allow himself to indulge the bond further. But she couldn't. Everything she had learned earlier in the week finally came to the forefront of her mind.
Hermione wept softly knowing that if the plans in her journals went the way they were written, she would end up leaving him despite her promises. She loved him in that moment as intensely as she hated herself.
A/N What do you think will happen next?