Hi!

I'm a little late, sorry about that.

This chapter was a bit tricky, it took me many tries and restart before I found something I enjoyed writing and was crazy enough to be in this series. I'm happy with how it turned out, though :-)

Thanks for those who reviewed, favorited and followed. It's a joy to know that you enjoy my silly stories. I actually put effort in them, and seeing that people want to read them add to the joy I have making them.

One guest asked for a crossover with Star Trek. I, however, know nothing about Star Trek but the fact you shoudn't, ever, confuse it with Starwars or Stargate, because fans won't like it. I, myself, is a fan of Stargate. Maybe if I find an angle, I'll do a little piece, but no promises. I was happy that you asked, and please don't refrain if you have other ideas.

As always, I'm still French, still have no beta and any mistake is my own doing. Next chapter will come in two weeks.

Have fun!

I no try, I succeed, part 3

It was the second task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, which, coincidentally, had four champions.

Of course, Dobby was going to help his champion. He did it twice already. Third time the charm, right?

Right.

As always, Dobby felt the tingles of stress tearing apart his stomach. Sirius Black thought that it wasn't worth the effort to put together a contingency plan. It was only four hostages, in a magical induced sleep, unable to defend themselves, at the bottom of a freezing lake, where wild beasts would be very happy to eat them at the first opportunity. Harry Potter only thought that they would die if he didn't rescue them in time, and everybody knew that things always went according to plan when Harry Potter was involved. Dobby's interference wasn't necessary, really, because the champions should only be out of sight for about an hour, underwater, where oxygen was rare, darkness omnipotent, magic sluggish, and help oh so easily available.

Dobby thought that Sirius Black was brilliant, but a bit touched. Long term dementor exposure would do that to the best of men. (The irony that Sirius had the same opinion about the elf never crossed his mind.) Of course, Dobby would help! There were children in the lake! If not for the Great Harry Potter, it was his duty to see to the security of the Hogwarts' students.

The hostages were enchanted against magic. He read the plans on the headmaster's desk, left alone all night long when he was asleep. This complicated Dobby's mission, because his best advantage was magic. It worried him, because what if they needed help down there? How would the wizards and witches would render assistance if their wands were useless? Most of them wouldn't know what to do!

Dobby was now the proud owner of a yellow (with black stripes) submarine. Of course, he improved the original design with help from Sirius Black, who was more than happy to tinker with her with his new friend. In truth, they went so overboard that she could probably go to the moon and back in a pinch. BB (the submarine) was a beauty. She looked like a weirdly coloured rugby ball, if her extremities were made of glass. The first ever bee-like cameo painting job ever, on an 8 feet long submarine. Inside? She was a mansion, packed with the most amazing things.

The task started as it was supposed to be. Dobby was perched, invisible, on the wooden platform at the lake shore, while Harry Potter was wondering where his friend was. The gillyweed was safely tucked in his pocket, and the hostages were safe, for now.

As soon as Bagman finished his explanation, and the whistle rung, things got a bit out of hand. The judges hadn't planned for that.

The giant squid loved to play fetch. Consequently, Dobby spent a considerable time playing with him since the Yule Ball, with mannequins tied to posts that he deposited at the lake bed, for the friendly monster to find and retrieve. Then, Ducky, (the giant squid), would get some very fine treats (for a squid, naturally) if he got them to the shore. The world population of killer whales may or may not have had an inexplicable dip those past few months, coincidentally proportional to Ducky's growth spurt.

It was only natural that, when the gentle beast found such things in the merepeople village, he tossed them to the shore, expecting his reward.

Such a shame that Dobby didn't even have chance to take BB on her maiden voyage. When the high velocity objects flew through the sky as the champions were wetting themselves in the lake, only Dumbledore's fast reflexes saved the hostages.

Dobby hadn't accounted that humans projected at fifty miles and hour on a hard surface could actually die or, at the luckiest, be grievously injured on impact. (Maybe, the fact that most of his mannequins did explode during the same manoeuvres had been a clue.) Hopefully, Dumbledore's quick response to the unexpected was enough to cushion their fall and save them from certain death.

Nobody paid attention when a fully-grown killer whale appeared seemingly out of nowhere in the troubled waters. Everyone was focused on the four hostages, miraculously intact, and the champions. Specially one Fleur Delacour, screaming her lungs out at the judges, who dared to endanger her eight years-old sister. Her parents soon joined the yelling, and pandemonium erupted when the other champions backed them up. They weren't so happy about their own hostages, too. Because who in his right mind thought that Hermione Granger would be the thing Viktor's Krum would miss the most after only one platonic date? Harry Potter had cut ties with Ron Weasley, thank you very much. They should know why, McGonagall gave him a month of detentions, after the awful things he said about Hermione in December! And why Cedric would miss miss Lovegood, instead of miss Chang, whom he was actually not platonically dating? Said girlfriend was rapidly leaving the stands to speak her mind.

Still, Dobby counted this as a win. He succeeded, right? Everyone was safe, and no one was hurt.

Except maybe Ronald Weasley, whom Harry just punched. It wasn't his fault, if the lad just stopped being himself for a minute, maybe he wouldn't be such an arse and anger his former friends so much.

Apart the red-head idiot, nobody was hurt. It was important, as Sirius Black had so painstakingly explained it to him, to not hurt people for their own good. Plans should be thought out until risks of injuries were avoided.

Dobby winced. It wasn't his fault, if Krum punched his headmaster. It wasn't his fault either, if the man fell into the lake. It wasn't his fault, again, if Ducky caught him and gave him back, enthusiastically, right? It wasn't his fault if Dumbledore didn't think about cushioning the landing this time, was it?

He didn't make Delacour punch another Weasley, and the little miss knee him in the groin. He certainly couldn't have anticipated that Hermione Granger would take umbrage about Percy's disparaging remarks and shove him in the water after that.

Well, he did train Bucky to throw back anything resembling a human, so this was on him, maybe.

He didn't, however, make Bagman laugh so hard at his colleague predicament that he soiled himself, and fell off the platform. Bucky had a good aim, Dobby noticed, because he fell exactly on top of the Weasley boy, that was being checked by Madam Maxim while Karkaroff's spine took all of Pomfrey's attention. Mediwizards were called in emergency, but it would be another ten minutes before they would arrive.

If the French matron took an involuntary dip in the cold February waters to get better acquainted with Ducky in the process, who was to blame, really?

And really, why would Cho Chang start to attack Luna Lovegood right under Harry's nose? Did she just think that he would let her do that? Dobby was surprised that the Great Harry Potter didn't get the chance to defend the lass. She did it herself.

Maybe Bucky knew what bowling was, because when Cho was sent back like a cannonball, it was a strike. Dumbledore( who had his back to the lake), Fudge (who stupidly came with his undersecretary), Umbridge (said undersecretary), Moody (constant vigilance, my butt), Ron (again), Mrs Bones (why was she here?), a huge Black dog (was he serious?), miss Tonks (who for some reason had a striking resemblance to the Prime Minister's wife today), mister Shacklebolt (who was, until that moment, poised as usual), Snape (couldn't happen to a better guy), and Fleur's father (Pierre Delacour, the French Minister of Magic's very own brother) all got to meet Ducky up close.

The squid, enthused by so many targets to play with, aimed at the stands. Dobby didn't get why, but people panicked when adult size projectiles screaming their lungs out started to rain on them. He noted than one was howling in joy, and one dark shape was barking instead.

Miss Tonks, a huge smile on her lips, yelled "I'll keep him occupied!" before jumping again, while her partner for the day shook his head. Ever looking the dignified warrior he was, Shacklebolt seamlessly dried his Auror battle robes and re-joined his boss to sort the current mess out. Fred and George Weasley, seeing that there was some fun to be had, dived behind Tonks in more and more elaborate jumps, going so far as charming the stands to act as trampolines for better enjoyment. Some other daring students followed their examples, as everyone else evacuated the premises in an unorganised stampede.

It was at this moment that a squad of mediwizards and mediwitches came running, escorted by a squad of Aurors selected by the esteemed minister. They, seeing the crowd running like mad chickens, added to the chaos by firing spells and asking questions later.

They never got the chance to ask questions, because the mad mob swarmed them and by the time they regained conscience, they were in cells at the ministry. Apparently, Mrs Bones had little patience with "stupid **** with not enough brain cells to have the reflexive ability of a toddler!"

It was only an upgrade for the Auror Corp, really, to be able to cut off its weakest members so nicely. Mrs Bones had dreamed about it for so long, and she seized the opportunity, because even that clusterfuck of a day couldn't be swept under the rug by the current administration. There were many, many international witnesses after all.

No one even noticed the fierce war wagged between the merepeople and a very hungry killer whale. Dumbledore got the gist of it when they formally declared a week after, that they would never, ever, collaborate with him again. As he had no intention to ever need their help again, he didn't think it would be a big deal. Yet, losing one potential useless ally stung, somehow.

Still, at the end of the day, Dobby was adamant he succeeded his self-appointed mission. The hostages were safe, as was Harry Potter. None of them had been injured. Neville Longbottom, who dived under his seat the second something seemed to go awry (a hard-won reflex born from being raised in a family that considered maiming your child to see if it was magical was acceptable), was ok too.

Ronald Weasley didn't count. The boy got what he deserved, in Dobby's humble opinion.

Now, he needed to find out what was the last task, and he could stop worrying about the Great Harry Potter and his survival rate.

"Well, one can always hope" Fate chuckled.