Memoirs of the Holy War

by Naryfiel Lilith

It was a war that spanned across two generations. It was a war that tore Jugdral to pieces. It was a war between those who only did what they thought was right. It was a war manipulated by those who had suffered too much. It was a war filled with tragic mistakes and crippling hope. It was a war immortalized by the survivors, and this is their tale. (FE4 Novelization)

18. Chapter 10) Unease

Chapter 10) Unease

---

It was hard to explain the uneasy dread which shrouded Nordion. Details of Ares's near death experience were kept as quiet as possible, but everyone was aware something happened anyway. Chulainn was right; people weren't stupid. They could see how cautious and angry everyone was, and whispers soon echoed through the halls about what could have happened. But still, Lady Grahnye tried to keep people from learning for there would be no quelling Nordion's anger when they learned. If there was to be any chance of peace, then she had to keep quiet, despite her own pain. But I think all of us were aware there wasn't actually a chance. We just had to keep hoping, until all doubts were removed.

Why did things always become so much more complicated the second we got involved?

---

"It seems there's no irritation or inflammation from removing the stitches," I murmured, carefully checking over Ares on Lady Grahnye's bed. Once his fever cooled, and all immediate preparations were finished, he returned to his mother's room and I'd discovered it was much easier to give him his daily examinations if I had him sitting on her bed instead of laying in the crib. "There's no scarring in his lungs, and his sternum has healed nicely. At this point, I believe the only long-term effect of the wound will be scarring and even that will fade in time." Of course, I had another problem now that I was finished. "Ares, I do need you to let go of my hair." Namely, Ares took advantage of how I had to lean down to grab a lock of my hair as it fell over my shoulder. Maybe I should braid it back before I checked on him.

"Aw, but he loves it so," Lady Grahnye teased from her desk, smiling brightly. Her own health had finally improved enough so she wasn't on bed rest most of the time, though she still needed to take frequent breaks. "I can't blame him. It's very pretty. I'm sure the love poems have mentioned that frequently."

"Maybe? I stopped reading them after those first few." They made very good kindling. "I think I used the latest batch as tinder for your tea, actually."

"You should read them! They're good for a laugh." She chuckled, deeply amused. "But I can't fault you for discarding them so quickly, since I'm sure the quality was terrible. I should tell Eldigan to write you one. He's very good."

"Lady Grahnye-"

"Ah, what did I say about titles?"

"Grahnye, please don't ask him that. I'm not fond of poetry." I tried to pull my hair from Ares's grip, but he held on like his life depending on it. The worst part was how he otherwise sat perfectly still, staring up at me with wide eyes and a sweet smile. "Besides, none of this changes that I'm trapped."

"Just carry him around."

"Grahnye, I need to pour your tea, and your teapot is still on the fire. I'm not carrying a baby near an open flame."

"Fair point." She smiled and returned to her paperwork. "Bring him over here, then."

At least it was easy to pick up Ares. He never seemed to mind tucking himself against my shoulder, even when I carried him the short distance between the bed and the desk. It was significantly harder to get him to let go once at said desk, but Grahnye managed to cajole him before long, and he happily sat in his mother's lap as she continued to work and I could escape to the corner to finish up her tea. I always mixed her daily medicines in it to make it easier for her to take.

"Ah, and that's the last of this batch, finally..." she breathed, leaning back in her chair. Ares immediately reached up for a hug, one she gladly gave. "Fifty more to go." I could not, for the life of me, determine whether or not she was being sincere or sarcastic. "Oh, before I forget..." She turned to me, her attention dropping to my leg. "How are you healing?"

"I'm fine, Grahnye," I answered, careful to keep my tone even and light. Truthfully, it still hurt. Only the bone was fully healed and the rest was still mending. But I had grown tired of the constant waves of visitors, so I pretended otherwise. It was easily managed.

"Alicia, forgive me, but you insisted you were fine while dying from poison."

"If you weren't going to believe me, then why would you ask?"

"That…" She fell silent, clearly startled. "Ah, yes, that is how it can come across, isn't it?" She shook her head and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's not that I do not believe you. I simply can't help but continue to be concerned, after seeing what you're willing to endure." No, it still sounded like she didn't believe me. I'd rather she were open about it. "But this all reminds me. I should review Nordion's honors. I need to give you something for saving Ares."

"I have neither need or want for such things." Right then, Ares laughed, reaching up to bat at his mother's earrings, and I softened at the sound. "I get to see this sweet little boy smile. I get to hear him laugh. Most would call them simple joys, but they're everything for me. My greatest reward has always been seeing people recover and live their lives."

"You are utterly devoid of ambition, aren't you?" She sighed, shaking her head in exasperation. But there was worry in her eyes too. "I'll keep it in mind, but note that when it gets out what you did, then my people will demand you receive some sort of reward."

"I don't…" I trailed off as the worry in her eyes deepened. She wasn't saying this only because of what her people would think. I could tell that much, at least, and I could tell whatever this additional reason was, it was no trivial matter. Therefore, it was better to go along. "Please make it as small as you can reasonably get away with."

"I will." She did her best to hide a sigh of relief. I had definitely missed something, but I wouldn't ask. If it was important, she would explain. "Thankfully, you have a reputation for modesty. That will help." I had no idea why it would or wouldn't, but I'd yield to her in this matter. "When he's older, I'll have him thank you directly. It's only good manners." There really wasn't a need, but I had a feeling I would lose that argument. "I promise to keep him from swearing to protect you and your children. It's a thing in Agustria, but I have no doubts it'll make you uncomfortable."

"Pardon?" Surely I misheard. "What children? I don't even have a lover."

"Not yet, you do." What was with the knowing tone? "But it's a traditional oath, given in exchange for saving one's life."

"Do children make oaths so young?"

"Of course. This is Agustria, the land of knights. They swear oaths from the day they're born to the day they die." That sounded like a recipe for disaster. Swear too many promises and they were bound to come into conflict.

But, of course, I couldn't say something like that outright, so instead, I finished up the tea and brought it over to her. Then I set about cleaning up, intending on leaving as soon as I did. Sadly, my usual luck kicked in. Right around the time I finished, a quiet knock cut through the quiet and the door cracked open so Chulainn could peer inside. "Sigurd and Quan are here," he informed us. "Looks serious."

"Of course it is," Grahnye replied, sitting a little straighter in her chair. Ares frowned up at her and tried to get her attention, but she gently pushed his hands away. "You would've let them in right away if this was informal." While this was true, Chulainn still waited until she nodded before pushing the door wider so Quan and Sigurd could actually come in. "My, such dark expressions…"

"What other expression suits dark news?" Sigurd 'joked', stepping inside. Quan whispered something to Chulainn before following, and Chulainn quietly closed the door behind them. "I can try to force a smile if you would like."

"No, your forced smiles make me think of a wounded puppy."

"Hey now…"

"And since you're trying to joke around and not diving into this, that tells me this dark news is very dark." She smiled serenely and Sigurd grimaced. "Alicia, can you please hold Ares for me?" I hesitated, but nodded and took Ares from her awkwardly. For once, Ares did not try to grab for my hair. Instead, he grasped my shirt and hid his face in my shoulder. I think he knew something was wrong. "Now then…" After making sure I had Ares secure, Grahnye returned her attention to Sigurd and Quan. "I take it Boldor has replied?"

"...Yes." Sigurd sighed and crossed his arms. "And it is what we feared."

"More to the point, Eva and Alec are both injured," Quan elaborated, his expression cold. Immediately, I started for the door, but he shook his head before I made it two was probably a good thing; I could really run while carrying Ares. "It's not bad. Edain is tending to them now."

"It's more of a statement than anything," Lady Grahnye sighed, slumping as the weight hit us. Attacking a messenger only emphasized peace was not possible. "He stands by his assault, despite our allies." She looked down briefly before meeting both of their gazes. "That alone wouldn't explain your dark expressions, however. I take it he did, in fact, order the attack on Ares."

"...According to Eva, Boldor laughed when he asked about it." Quan's fists clenched at his side. Sigurd dug his fingers into his arms. I went over to him and rested a hand on his shoulder to try and reassure him. I wasn't sure how well it worked, but Sigurd did distract himself by ruffling Ares's hair. "Laughed and claimed it was only fair. 'A son for a son'."

"So, we will no longer be able to keep the attack quiet." Grahnye leaned back and clasped her hands in her lap. It did not hide their shaking. "And based on the phrasing, it is likely he ordered Ares's assassination after the siege." That meant he'd given the order with full knowledge Grannvale and Verdane were supporting Nordion. It was as good as an outright declaration of war. "What was said in response?"

"Well, Eva lost his temper hearing Boldor laughing his head off over Ares's presumed death and proudly declared that Ares was alive and well. And then snarked about how his assassin couldn't even kill a toddler, much less the healer who saved him." Quan shot me an apologetic look, a quiet hint that if my part in this hadn't spread yet, it would quickly. Arvis was going to be so upset with me. "It shocked Boldor enough for Alec to secure their escape. They met Naoise on the road, tended to their injuries, and rode back here as fast as they could."

"Mmm… I can't fault him for mocking Boldor, even if it would have been safer for them to continue believing Ares was dead." She closed her eyes, thinking. "Did he outright state he stood by his actions? That he would continue to attack?"

"Yes, Eva made sure Boldor said it clearly and loudly."

"Good. Amplify it. Let all know of Boldor's arrogance and stupidity." She opened her eyes, and despite her clear exhaustion, her gaze was clear. "I'm sorry I must ask this of you two, but…"

"Why are you apologizing? We love Agustria too. Sigurd and I have spent enough time here, after all." Quan shot Sigurd a smile, one Sigurd did his best to return. Neither smile looked 'real'. "Still, it's best we move at your discretion. We are here as your allies, after all."

"Then you will leave in three days. I know preparations have been made, but I want time for the rumors to spread before you set off."

"Of course." Quan bowed slightly, and headed out the door without another word.

However, while Quan left quickly, Sigurd didn't. Instead, he walked around Grahnye's desk and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Are you feeling well?" he asked quietly. "You're pale."

"It's nothing that will kill me yet," Grahnye answered, with a slight, bitter smile. "So..."

"Keeping up with your health is part of your duties too, you know. Think of how the people will weep if you collapse." He smiled faintly and she made a face in return. "Eldigan's not here to fuss, so I have to do a poor job of it in his place."

"What are you talking about? You fuss worse than him." She leaned over in her chair to gently rest her head against him. "But I will be fine. Lady Alicia keeps a close eye on my health." Though she ignored half of my advice for duty. "Still, I can't help but be frustrated. Because of my health, you have to handle the fighting in my stead. Even if you love this country, it's…"

"Do not apologize for my choices, Grahnye. Quan, Eldigan, and I made an oath to always help and support each other, and this is simply us honoring it. Since Eldigan cannot defend his home, we draw our blades in his place." Sigurd pulled her into a one-armed hug, patting her arm. "That's all. We'd do this even if you were the greatest warrior in Jugdral."

Grahnye leaned a little more into him before smiling and gently nudging him towards the door. He took the hint and caught my eye before heading for the door. Silently, I passed Ares back to Grahnye and followed him out. Surprisingly, Quan was still there, chatting with Chulainn about something, though both quieted when they saw us. Any other day, I might have said something, but today, I couldn't. The weight of what was to come crashed down. What in the world would you call this? You could say it was 'civil war', but did that apply when one side's primary fighters were foreigners? I didn't know, and trying to think it through made my head hurt.

So, we could only leave and try to prepare. As Chulainn pulled the door shut behind us, I glanced back to see Lady Grahnye staring out the window, cradling Ares in her arms. She looked so tired, so fragile, like a simple breeze would shatter her. But if I returned, I knew she'd force a smile on her face once more, so I resolved to visit later, after she had her time to herself, and make her more tea.

The next few days were going to be terribly, terribly long.

---

Three days later, the cavalry departed, very late in the day. They wanted to ride under the cover of nightfall, to help mask their approach. Of course, I didn't know how darkness hid the sound of many horses galloping down the road, but I didn't voice my concern. I'd be the first to admit I knew nothing of animals, and even less of tactics.

Only those who could fight while mounted were allowed on this operation, so Edain remained behind as did Azelle. The lone exception was Oifey, who served as their strategist. On the reverse side, the only mounted combatant who was remaining behind was Finn, due to his injuries. He'd finally recovered enough to no longer require constant bedrest, but was in the middle of physical therapy to rebuild his strength. Thus, he saw everyone off with a rueful smile, Lachesis at his side to help him when his legs faltered. Part of me wondered if I should also assist, but I chose against it for now and, instead, focused on my own farewells.

"Be careful, Ethlyn, as you will be the only healer," I reminded her, fussing over her jacket. She made a face at me, but didn't protest. "Yes, Oifey will assist however he can, but you can't use your magic on yourself." With Edain and I both staying here, she would be the sole user of healing staves. "The Return staff is attuned to Nordion?"

"Yes, and I tested it to be certain," she reassured, reaching up to clasp my hands and squeeze them tightly. I supposed she was tired of me fiddling with her collar. "Specifically, it's attuned to the inner courtyard. I figured it was large enough."

"I'll ensure there are guards specifically to keep watch." This was, unfortunately, the best we could do with our current circumstances. If there were any injuries beyond Ethlyn's skill, she would Return them here for Edain and I to heal. "But, truly, be careful." I hated she would be so far away; it was like when they left for Genoa. At least this time, we had the Return staff. The dying would not be left on the road. "I dread what those of Yngvi would say if their pink-haired angel-"

"Alicia!" She blushed from both embarrassment and indignation and I bit back a laugh. "You are terrible." She pretended to scowl for all of a second before giggling. "Still, I promise. Our strategies will have me guarded even more so than usual, and I have my Light Brand if any think me an easy target." She let go of my hands to hug me tightly. "So, you keep safe here, too, all right?"

"I'm not the one riding into battle."

"No, but you do attract trouble. Tell it to go away and flirt with someone else." She stepped away, grinning. "Oh, maybe if you flirt with someone else, it'll take the hint? Wait, no, it might get jealous instead."

"Ethlyn, how much sleep did you get last night?" I had no other explanation for how nonsensical she was being all of a sudden.

"Plenty."

"That is not an answer."

"More than Quan?"

"That is also not an answer." And, conveniently, Quan was coming over to join us. "Quan, your lady love isn't answering my question on how little sleep she got."

"I fear I am obligated to keep my love's secrets close to my heart," Quan instantly teased, grinning. I could only sigh and shake my head. "With that said, we did rest early. I can't say when we fell asleep, but we weren't working until dawn, unlike a certain healer."

"I didn't work until dawn; I woke before dawn," I corrected, clasping my hands in front of me. I had thought about pulling an all-nighter to finish the medicines for their first aid bags, but decided against it. "There was work to be done."

"Sometimes, I genuinely wonder if there's really so much to do or if you're so unused to relaxing that you've become very skilled at finding tasks."

"I am a healer and we are at war." The words were too serious, so I made my tone light. "Besides, I'm getting better?"

"Barely. But even small progress is progress. You never saw us off during the Verdane Campaign." He reached out to hug me, ducking his head to continue talking directly in my ear. "But be wary of anything to do with Mackily. We do not know how Clement will react."

"I'll do my best." I hesitated before reaching up and patting him on the back. "I'm not sure how much help I will be, mind."

"Plenty. Grahnye's never been a fool, and you have good insight." ...What did he mean by that? "You still should take more breaks though."

"Those are fine words from someone sneakily giving me more to worry about." Still, I smiled when he pulled back, only to notice Ethlyn's frown. "What's wrong?"

"You didn't hug me back," Ethlyn grumbled, sulking. It took me a very long second to realize what she was saying. That... that had been to help mask what Quan was saying! "Why does my husband get a hug, but I don't?"

"That is..." I tried to figure out how to reply, but I came up blank. So, I sighed and awkwardly held my arms out. "I have very little experience with hugging," I warned. "Shannan gets most of them."

"Sigurd got one when we left Evans! And Deirdre's gotten a bunch!" Still, Ethlyn happily leapt into my arms, and I did my best to return it. "Yay~! I love hugging you! You're warm and smell of flowers!"

"I am of Velthomer. All of us are warm." Still I was glad she was not uncomfortable. "Do you feel better now?"

"Lots~!" She stepped back with a smile, and glanced around. "Looks like we're going to be heading out soon." Already? Then again, I imagined they were eager to be off. "Make sure you say goodbye to Sigurd! I'm not dealing with his sulking!"

"Quan said something similar in Evans." I still didn't see why he would sulk, but I'd yield to them. "I'd best go, and you should see to your final preparations."

"I'm already prepared, but I promised myself I'd tease Edain and Midir silly before I left." It was a shame the two were separated for this; I hadn't had a chance to ask if Sir Midir truly took Edain on that date. ...Should I...?

"Ask if Sir Midir did as I requested." I smiled serenely, and Ethlyn tilted her head curiously. "If he's uncertain as to what, remind him it was while I was laid up."

"If you say so?" She still looked confused, but shrugged it off. "I'll see you later, Alicia!"

"Stay safe!" I waved her goodbye, and glanced at Quan slyly. "I know you said you are not one for long farewells, so instead, let me thank you for fetching me one of Sigurd's shirts yesterday." That was all I needed to say before Quan started snickering. "Please write me about his reaction? I'm assuming he packed it."

"He did, and I double-checked under the guise of being fussy," Quan confirmed, barely keeping from laughing outright. He'd been delighted when I'd informed him of my plot. "I will gladly tell you all about it. I'm always happy to assist with pranks. Especially since you..." He trailed off, thinking. "Actually, have you ever pulled a prank with us before?"

"I... do not believe so?" I answered slowly, thinking. Had I ever pranked anyone before? If I did, I couldn't remember. "This might actually be my first prank."

"Truly?" He seemed surprised, but he quickly grinned. "Well, now I'm even more honored to be a part. I'll teach you the fine ways of pranking when we return."

"You should speak with Chulainn about it. He said something once about pranks being a time-honored combat strategy."

"I clearly need to speak with him more." Despite the light words, there was something uncomfortable to his expression. I had a feeling he had not forgiven himself yet for their conversation in Sigurd's office, back when those assassins went after Shannan. "Ah, but that will be for later. Until then, Alicia."

He waved goodbye over his shoulder and I turned away, glancing around for anyone else I could say farewell to while I looked for Sigurd. Unfortunately, news of the imminent departure meant everyone was quickly trying to wrap things up and, so, few spared any moments for me. I did catch sight of Sir Midir's red-as-an-apple face through the crowd, with a worried Edain fussing and a laughing Ethlyn teasing. I also managed to find Ayra and Shannan, hand in hand as they said goodbye to Lex, with Lex ruffling Shannan's hair reassuringly. Not far from them Deirdre chatted with Oifey, and I paused when I noticed she looked more than a little pale. After a moment of thought, though, I chose against fussing. If I asked now, surrounded by people, Deirdre would insist she was fine. Instead, I would ask later, once everyone had left.

So, filing it away for later, I meandered through the crowd until I found Sigurd where he was saying goodbye to Grahnye and a very sulky Ares. He cheered when Sigurd patted his head, and Grahnye took the opportunity to slip away before he tried to grab. Sigurd bit back a laugh and then looked about curiously, possibly to gauge the mood of his forces. Though, given how his expression lit up when he saw me, I had to wonder if he'd been looking for me. …No, that was ridiculous. It had to be the first one.

"I am delighted to see you're not attempting to murder Deirdre with embarrassment this time," I greeted, deciding to be teasing. His response was to grin, completely unrepentant still. Well, I doubted he'd ever feel guilty about kissing his wife. "I won't keep you long; I know you all leave soon."

"Yes, if we don't, we'll never reach a good place to camp before dawn breaks," he confirmed, sighing a little. Did… did they intend to travel after dark for the entire journey? "We don't know how far out Heirhein has sent its scouts, so we need to continue obfuscating our position until we strike. All of Agustria's castles are built to endure sieges, and we want to avoid that if possible."

"I see." I studied his expression, remembering his outburst when we learned Heirhein knights had tried to kill Ares. He seemed calm, but… "Please do not become so angry you recklessly charge." But I remembered what Quan had said about him holding onto anger and it festering. "If I hear otherwise, I will have quite the lecture for you."

"That's a terrible fate indeed." Despite the joking tone, his eyes darkened in quiet anger at the reminder of just what sparked all this. I reached up to poke his cheek, however, and he forced himself to relax. Yes, this warning was necessary. "Quan and I… we've agreed to not confront Boldor alone since we're not certain we'll keep our tempers. It would be best to have him tried by Agustria's laws."

"I am guessing the problem lies in him wanting a glorious death on the battlefield?"

"Or being overconfident enough to charge ahead." Something about how he said it implied this was his main concern. "Still, there's nothing wrong with extra incentives for good behavior. It might help if our emotions grind away our reason." He reached over to hug me then, and I awkwardly returned it. "Hey, Deirdre was lightheaded this morning." He spoke very softly, making sure we were not overheard. "She said it's fine, and she didn't sleep well last night so it could be that, but I can't help but worry."

"I'll keep an eye." He already knew I'd never force her into an examination until and unless I felt her life was at risk. "I plan on staying near anyway."

"I figured. You're the protective sort." He kissed the top of my head. "But try to remember to rest. You need to stop straining your leg." …Darn, he noticed.

"It's manageable."

"Alicia, I'm never believing you again when it comes to your own health. You saved Ares while you were dying from poison."

"It wasn't killing me that quickly."

"It was still killing you." He sighed gustily. "Arvis is going to kill me when he hears."

"He will not." He better not, at least. "However, if he does come at you with fire, I'll protect you. I promise."

"Careful, I'll take you up on it." He tightened his hug briefly before letting go. "Until we meet again."

"Safe travels, Sigurd."

I waved him goodbye, and he took the opportunity to call for the soldiers and begin the final preparations for riding out. I drifted towards Deirdre, just so I could 'conveniently' be next to her when they set out. As she did at Evans, Deirdre watched them leave until even the dust faded from the horizon. Just as I did at Evans, I remained with her, holding her hand, and gently tugged her inside once they were completely out of sight. Chulainn waited for us by the gates, and fell in step when we passed, but surprisingly, he was not the only one waiting for us.

"Ah, there you are." King Jamke, too, waited, just inside the castle doors. "Per Edain, I'm to invite you to a card night," he explained, smiling faintly. "Or was it a card party? I can't remember the exact phrase."

"That's just a fancy way of inviting us to play cards," Deirdre replied slowly, squeezing my hand. "I'm…"

"I should warn you she's given me multiple tactics to guilt you into it."

"Of course she did."

"So, why don't we at least watch a few games?" I suggested, smiling kindly at her. She blinked at me a few times, surprised I was agreeing so easily. And, if the circumstances were different, she'd be correct. I didn't want to attend, but I knew why Edain insisted. It was a good distraction, and that was more important right now. "Besides, we haven't had a chance to sit down and discuss 'The Assassin's Bride' yet. I managed to get through some of it while laid up."

"By some, she means 'half''," Chulainn added, subtly nudging her forward. She was still blinking a few times. "And don't worry. I made sure she read properly."

"I still say it doesn't matter if I skip ahead. But you wanted us to read it together, Deirdre, so I resisted the urge." A little light came to her eyes then, shy yet bright, as she finally processed what I was saying. "Chulainn, what will you do? Play?"

"Not my thing, but I'll tell you if any of them cheat. It can be fun figuring out the tricks." He turned his attention to King Jamke. "Who all is going to be there, anyway?"

"Edain, Azelle, Ayra… yes, Ayra actually agreed," King Jamke listed off, throwing in some sarcasm. Deirdre bit back a laugh. "Finn wants to watch, so Shannan and Dew insist on being there to help keep an eye. Lachesis is in the middle of convincing Lady Grahnye to play a round. We tried to invite Arden, but he insists on standing watch instead." He shrugged. "It's not a large gathering." No, it was only those Deirdre knew personally.

"...Perhaps I can watch, then," Deirdre murmured, ducking her head. I nudged her teasingly and she laughed softly. "Where is it?"

"That would be this way."

King Jamke led us easily through the castle until we reached a nondescript door in the guest wing. He opened the door without knocking and, when we entered, it became quite clear we were the last to arrive. Grahnye and Lachesis were in the back, fussing with Ares and Altena in a play area set up in the corner. Azelle, meanwhile, was quickly teaching Ayra the rules of some popular card games, with Ayra listening with the same intense focus she usually reserved for her swordsmanship. In a nearby chair, piled high with pillows and blankets, Finn sat and laughed with Shannan and Dew, all three eager for whatever show awaited. Edain flitted about the room, arranging snacks and drinks, but she noticed our arrival immediately.

"Oh, you made it!" Edain chirped with a bright smile. She tried to wave us to the main table, but we shook our heads and, instead, sat at an adjacent table. "Hang on, I'll bring you some tea!" In what felt like a blink, we had a full tea set, and three plates piled high with pastries. How much did she expect Deirdre, Chulainn, and I to eat? "Rest and relax, all right?" Then, in another blink, she was at the main table once more, ensuring there were enough chairs for all the players.

Of course, as could be expected for a party Edain threw together, there were more than enough and everything was arranged near perfectly. Before long, she, Azelle, Ayra, Grahnye, King Jamke, and Lachesis had sat down to play... whatever game it was. I had absolutely no idea. I didn't know card games; I never desired to learn. So, instead, I focused on other things.

"I feel like if we eat even half of this, the sugar will keep us up until dawn," I muttered, pouring some tea for Deirdre and me. Based on the smell, I thought it was chamomile. "Chulainn, do you want any?"

"No, I'd rather not," Chulainn answered, shifting so he could lean against my chair. Nearby, the others were dealing their cards, with the boys watching eagerly. "I'd like to walk out of here, not roll."

"Oh, my, do you like sweets?"

"I used to." His slight widening of the eyes, followed by his little sigh, hinted he hadn't meant to say that. I'd tucked it away for later, then. "That is a lot, though. Perhaps she's hoping the resulting crash after the sugar puts you to sleep."

"This makes me even less inclined to eat them." With that said, I pushed a plate closer to Deirdre. "However, some sweets might perk up your mood, Deirdre."

"I'm not sure sugar sweetens people," Deirdre joked, smiling. It was strained, and I knew she was already worrying about Sigurd. "...Um..."

"Yes?" I prompted, pushing another plate closer to her. There really was a lot. Who had the time to make all these? "What is it?"

"...Can I stay in your room tonight?"

"Of course."

"Really?"

"Yes?"

"...Thank you..." Her smile softened with sheer relief. "Ah, but don't mind me. Do you want to check on Finn?"

"He's doing fine, and I do not want him to feel stifled." I knew Shannan and Dew would keep an eye on him, and Finn would immediately catch my attention if he thought something was wrong. "I'll check later, once they start debating between their health and their wants."

"I see. Hopefully, he can stay a while. He's been cooped up for so long." Deirdre finally picked up a pastry to nibble. "So... um..."

Sudden shouting startled both of us, and we turned to see Ayra had won the hand. I had no idea if it was 'too fast' or not, but judging by the others' reactions, I'd assume so.

"Well, it seems Od's skill includes card games," Ayra noted with a light laugh and fainter smirk. I had a sneaking suspicion she'd already known that. "Best two out of three?"

"Oh, come now, you have to purposely make bad plays to go against the blessings," Edain scolded, smiling even as she shook her head. She collected the cards once more to shuffle. "Otherwise, it'll come down to my luck and your skill. We can't snuff them like candles, after all, and that's no fun."

"Maybe I should sit out, then. I'm too competitive to purposely throw."

"But if you do, then we'll be one short. We need six for this one."

"Hmm..." Her gaze flicked over to our table. She studied us closely, before her eyes settled on Chulainn. "Chulainn, come take my place, then." She stood and waved him over. Chulainn stared at her for a very long moment before sighing and joining the group at the table. "All right!" She moved out of the way to let him sit. The rest of us were staring because this was only the second time Chulainn decided to participate in a group activity.

"Oh, this will be fun!" Edain, however, recovered quickly. "Chulainn, do you know the rules?"

Chulainn didn't, so while Edain shuffled, the others did their best to explain. Ayra, meanwhile, joined Deirdre and me with a smile and pulled up an extra chair to sit down and eat the pastries. Maybe they had been her goal the entire time.

"I'm surprised you dragged Chulainn into this," Deirdre commented once the others finally started playing. I noticed the boys watched even more eagerly than before, and I wondered if it was because they hoped Chulainn would have fun. "He's..."

"He may remind most folk of a dog or wolf, but when it comes to social things, he's far more like a cat," Ayra replied, still stuffing her face. Belatedly, I poured her some tea, deciding Edain had piled the table in anticipation for people taking breaks. "He likes staying in the same room as a person and enjoying the quiet. However..." She pointed at me. "Your idea of fun is watching other people have fun. And you..." She pointed at Deirdre. "You look like you're ready to cry." Deirdre winced. "So, I couldn't ask either of you. But Chulainn is willing to suffer through a few rounds if it means you both get to relax. So, that's why." I was impressed she'd figured all of that out in a few short seconds. Then again, if she'd already known her divinely blessed skill extended to card games, she might've been plotting it from the start. "Now then, they'll play a few rounds, build up the excitement, and the three of us will chat a little before checking on Finn, Dew, and Shannan. Just a nice, relaxing evening and-"

Another round of sudden shouting cut her off, and we looked up to see Chulainn had won the round already. King Jamke immediately demanded a rematch, to everyone's laughter, and Chulainn won it just as easily. It took five wins in a row before they finally gave up at beating him and switched to a different game. Chulainn subsequently declared himself 'done for the night' and returned to his place by my chair. Neither Deirdre nor I ever played a round, but we had fun watching with Chulainn and Ayra. In fact, by the end of the night, Deirdre's spirits were so high you'd almost forget she had been so morose earlier.

But when everyone finally decided it was time for sleep and we went our separate ways, her worry returned, stronger than ever. After she moved her things into my room, I made her tea to help with sleep and chatted with her about 'The Assassin's Bride' to keep her distracted until she nodded off. It was the least I could do.

---

A few days after the cavalry left for Heirhein, Dimitra came to the castle to ask me for advice and lessons. After about a week or so of this, she then requested I accompany her on her 'rounds' through the city. At first, I thought she wanted to observe, but I quickly learned my role was much different, one I'd never had before. No, my task was to supervise and support Dimitra as she performed the various examinations herself. If she struggled, then I would step in and if I suspected something was worse than it appeared, I would take over. Otherwise, I was simply a visual reassurance to the patients and provided Dimitra with a sense of support and safety as she struggled to find her footing. Technically, she shouldn't be doing any of this since she was still a child, but she would turn sixteen soon enough so no one protested.

"You have good eyes," I praised as we left a patient's house. I had recognized them; I'd amputated their leg after it had been trampled by a horse during the siege. "Most would not have noticed the infection at such an early stage."

"Oh, no, I just got lucky…" she mumbled, blushing from the praise. Despite the words, she had a pleased smile on her face, glad she had caught it before it caused harm. "I… um…"

"You should not humble yourself so much." I patted her on the head and her eyes widened in surprise. "Hold yourself proudly. You were taught well and it shows. I'm saddened anew that I could not learn from Rafail myself."

"I…" She blushed more and covered her cheeks with her hands to try and hide. I had to take her arm and steer her away from people as we walked down the street to her next patient. "A-anyway, where's your bodyguard? The wolfy-wolf man."

"Chulainn?" I frowned a little, but decided against commenting on her description. It was at least adorable. "I asked him to watch Deirdre today." Deirdre had been lightheaded again this morning, and nearly had a panic attack shortly before I left. I couldn't stay since I was helping Dimitra, so I requested Chulainn accompany her to help her feel safer.

"And he didn't argue?" She tilted her head, blush fading. "He's supposed to guard you, right?"

"Well…" Actually, he hadn't been keen on the idea at all. But he'd seen how worried I was and, thus, agreed on the condition I returned by a certain hour. If I was late, he would come looking for me and if I thought there was trouble, I was to immediately run to Sir Arden at the gates. "We reached a compromise."

"You sound like Master Rafail when a patient did something medically ill-advised!" She giggled at the thought, but it soon drifted to sadness. "I miss him."

"I understand you knew him since you were young?"

"I did. He..." She trailed off, and I let her have her silence. "When I was four years old, my little brother became terribly ill. I can't remember all the symptoms, but I remember he was vomiting blood. I sat by his bed with a bowl to catch it." She clasped her hands behind her, smiling bitterly. I nodded to some people as we passed, but otherwise, focused completely on her. "We know now he'd eaten some poisonous herb, but at the time, my mother and I were terrified and confused. We thought he'd die, and it was barely a year after my father passed from a work accident. Mom had... she had no idea how we were going to afford another funeral so soon after his. We were terribly poor back then, you see. Couldn't even afford food most days."

"So, seeing a healer was..."

"There was no way we could afford it. But..." She giggled, surprisingly, her smile becoming soft. "Our neighbors... they were just as poor, you know? But as soon as they learned what was going on, they scrounged up all the coin they had and went to Master Rafail for us."

"And he saved your brother."

"He did! Came right away, and didn't even take payment for it!" Her smile brightened at the memory, but my heart ached. I... I'd never met another healer who refused payment. Most honestly couldn't. "He outright refused, and by the end of the night, my brother was sleeping soundly once again. I watched him work, and I thought... I thought he was dazzling. So, once my brother was well enough to not need a minder, I tracked him down and demanded to work for him."

"That's how you started your apprenticeship?"

"It… was, yes. But I didn't…" She ducked her head shyly. "At the time, I just wanted to thank him the only way I could think of. If he refused payment, then I'd work off the debt." What sort of childhood did she have to think like that when she was only four years old? "I don't know why he decided to humor me. I was so little and scrawny there was no way I could've been much help. But, he did, and when I was six, I started asking him about the funny plants he had growing in the back and he taught me how to read so I could help sort them. And it just... he started teaching me."

"It's fun to learn, isn't it?"

"Yes!" She laughed, full and bright. A couple people around us looked up at the sound and smiled in relief as we passed. I wondered if she hadn't been laughing much since the siege. "Plus, I have to admit; he paid well. My family and my neighbors all moved to better houses thanks to that." Oh, that was good to hear. "When I was twelve, he started taking me along for jobs, and I... I understood then why he didn't need a payment. I finally saw it from his perspective. He was dazzling to me, back then, a worker of miracles. But to him... seeing my brother recover, laugh... it was a joy beyond words." She looked up at me then, smiling hesitantly. "Um… if it's not too forward, may I ask how you became a healer, Lady Alicia?"

"Me?" Well, that was… "The answer is both complicated and simple." I became one because I loved to see people recover. I became one hoping someone would praise me. I became one because I wanted to save everyone. I became one to finally be of use to someone. "I don't have an incident like yours which sparked it. My teacher was…" I debated how to be tactful before remembering I didn't have to be. "He was a jerk."

"Eh?"

"Oh, he was skilled and he was dutiful. But he has the social graces of a particularly angry cat." What was another way to… ah, I knew. "You know how patient Edain is, yes?" She nodded, curious. "Well, even Edain wondered why no one has strangled him yet." Her jaw dropped and I desperately had to bite back a laugh. "I am very glad I will never see him again, for a variety of reasons." I softened, however, thinking back to what ultimately started it all. "But I had a knack for identifying herbs and became curious about their uses. Then I wondered how plants could make people feel better. After that..." I shrugged. "I suppose I fell into it, ultimately."

"So, your teacher was a grouchy, feral cat and you were a kitten poking your head into everything?" That… well, that was certainly a mental image. "That's kind of funny!" She giggled, amused, and I muffled my own laugh. "So… huh?" Her attention snapped to a nearby building, and the person standing awkwardly in the doorway. She stood out all the more because of the lack of people in the area. If I recalled correctly, this part of the town had been hit particularly hard during the siege, so few came near unless they had to. "That's weird. That building should be empty. It still needs to be inspected."

"Yes, that is strange." If she was resting in an unsafe building, then was something wrong? Did she not know it was unsafe? "Shall we take a look?"

Dimitra nodded and we drifted over to her, walking at a sedate pace to hopefully not startle her. The young woman was... she certainly stood out. Try as she might to hide behind her cloak, not even the shadows hid her lilac hair and bright blue eyes. But the most striking thing about her appearance was how pale she was; it was like she had never seen the sun in her life. Any other time, I may have focused on it, but my attention was drawn to the person hiding in the room behind her. It was, unfortunately, someone I recognized: the cloaked man with eyes full of malice. If I had any doubts, and I tried because surely heavily cloaked people all looked alike, the gleam in his eyes remained the same. Once again, he scrutinized me like a tool to be used. He viewed Dimitra as nothing but a nuisance.

"Hello," Dimitra greeted, smiling kindly. The young woman still jumped and stared at us with wide eyes. I tried to focus on her, but I was all too aware of the man behind her. "What are you doing here? This building hasn't been cleared yet."

"I... I apologize, but my father... he needed to catch his breath," the girl stammered, reaching up to tug her hood forward. She refused to look at us, her gaze fixed to some point on the ground. "We just... we'll move on as soon as he does. I promise."

"The building isn't necessarily safe, though. A lot of fire spells were used near here." This was one of the areas the knights had herded Heirhein's soldiers for Azelle to bombard. "The foundations could've been weakened."

"Y-yes, and the ash made him nauseous which isn't helping, but it's just for a little bit!" She sounded very insistent and frantic. Meanwhile, her father watched us, studied us, and said nothing. "He should be fine before long. I just... open spaces make me nervous... a-and people make me more nervous. So, hiding spot! B-but I swear-!"

"Is your father well?" I asked softly. No matter how uncomfortable he made me, if he was hurt, then I should tend to him. "Does he need medicine? I am a healer, so I can help if it is needed."

"I… huh?" the daughter blurted, staring at me in shock. I could practically see her mind spinning from the questions. "I... I think it's just…"

"Dear, why don't we have her examine me?" the father suggested, his voice barely a rasp. He smiled apologetically, and the scariest thing was how real it looked. "It might be good to ensure the pain is only from my scars." The girl looked back, hesitating, but his smile grew. "I know how protective you are, but…" She flinched and ducked her head, moving out of the way. "That's a sweet girl."

"...Dimitra, stay out here," I whispered, before stepping inside. Wide-eyed, Dimitra tried to catch my sleeve to stop me, but I easily avoided her hand and couched by the coaked man. Up close, I was even more certain of the malice, yet I did everything I could to ignore it. "Your breathing is unsteady. Have you any problems with your lungs?"

"No, merely some overexertion, I think. My legs… well…" He gestured vaguely at them, and I brought up my staff to perform the examination. I'd expected something simple, like a deep scar near a joint. What I sensed, though, was beyond any expectations. He was covered in burn scars, easily half of his skin. It might have even been three-quarters. "Caught in a fire when I was young."

"To cause such extensive damage, it must have been quite a large fire." I almost commented on his luck, but I noticed a certain pattern to the burns. Usually, you would only see this when... "You must have been very loved."

"Now that's an interesting comment." He chuckled, and it almost masked the hatred seething underneath. "Do you think it was the gods' love which spared me?"

"I can't answer for the gods, but why else would someone have shielded you from the blaze if not because they loved you?" He stilled next to me, and his polite smile froze. "Ah, I apologize for bringing up bad memories. Please, forget I said anything." I should focus on treating him and getting away. His frozen smile was becoming more unnatural by the second. "There's some inflammation in your joints, which I'll go ahead and treat, but if you want some medicines, I can-"

"Yes, Moira loved me dearly. We were friends, as close as siblings." The words were quiet, and the complete lack of emotion in them made my blood run cold. "Are you mocking her?"

"No." Though I was afraid, I met his gaze head on. "Again, I apologize for bringing up bad memories. I will add an apology if my tone implied mockery." I didn't think so, but he had to be very sensitive about anything to do with her. "She deserves respect."

"Yes… she does…" The 'polite smile' dropped, and he was back to looking at me like I was a tool. And this time, the glint in his eyes screamed he'd decided to 'buy' the tool. "You are very interesting, young miss." He reached out towards me; I stiffened and could not move. "Despite the disgusting Fjalar-red of your hair…" I was frozen, terrified, and all I could do was watch as his hand got closer to my face. "You…"

A gauntleted hand suddenly closed around the man's wrist, stopping it just before it touched me. I knew even before I looked up that it was Chulainn's hand, but I couldn't say anything. Any words or breath I might have had caught in my throat at the cold glare on his face. I… I had never seen him look so angry before. I thought he was a second away from slitting the cloaked man's throat.

"You overstep, sir," he whispered, tone so frozen you could almost see his breath. Belatedly, I looked to the door and saw the daughter had pressed herself against the far wall, her eyes wide with terror. In the doorway itself Dimitra was being held and shielded by Deirdre. What was she doing here? When had they...? "Do you need to be carried to your abode?"

"...No," the cloaked man replied. The charming smile was back on his face, but I saw the gleam in his eye. 'Nuisance.' "No, your healer's reassurance that this is exactly what I expected means my daughter should be able to help me before long."

"Is that so?" Chulainn reached down to help me up, and I leaned on him for support. "Then you'll have no qualms about our departure?"

"No, none." The cloaked man looked past us, towards Deirdre, and I purposely stepped shifted to block his sight. He still looked at her like a treasure to be stolen. "Have a good day, young miss."

I... think I managed to say a goodbye? I hoped I at least said goodbye to the daughter. But honestly, my head was so muddled I wasn't certain, and all my focus went to remain calm, in control, and to not tremble in my boots. I didn't think even Father Eirik would've scolded me for any lapses, if he had met that man.

"Dimitra," I whispered once I was certain my voice was even. All four of us stopped, and I took in our surroundings. While the area was still devoid of people, I could hear the bustle of a crowd nearby. "We should get you home."

"What? But..." Dimitra tried to protest. However, she shook too much and hugged herself tightly to try and soothe her nerves. Deirdre supported her, just as Chulainn supported me. "I... oh, gods' blood, why did he seem so cold? His daughter wasn't like that; she just seemed scared. But he..." She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "B-but there's... I still..."

"I'll tend to them." I cupped her face between my hands and waited for her to open her eyes to look at me. "Tell me the addresses, and I will see to them. We'll do a full round another day." What was a good, logical way to explain? I could say 'a healer must be calm', but I... I didn't want to say that to her. While it was true, it...

"I'll probably freak them out shaking as much as I am. Worse, I'm not sure how to explain." After a moment, she nodded and, surprisingly, threw herself at me for a hug. After a moment, I hugged her back, hoping she found it reassuring. "So, yes, I... I want to go home." She buried her face in my chest, clinging tightly. "I'm worried about that girl, though. She was so scared... was it because of us or him? Both?"

"We will report this to Grahnye." That was all we could do, truthfully. "Come now. Let's get going."

"All right..."

It didn't take us long to escort Dimitra home; it took longer to reassure her brother we couldn't come inside for tea. Deirdre and Chulainn accompanied me to the last few patients, and kept silent as I worked. The patients themselves were surprised to see only me, and asked about Dimitra. I told them the absolute truth; I sent her home for her well-being. They knew her, and could come up with their own stories from there. There was no need to elaborate and, thankfully, they were also 'easy' patients, with nothing unusual to treat. It felt like no time at all had passed before we finally returned to the castle, but the pain in my leg told me it had, in fact, been quite some time.

"What were you two doing out?" I asked once we were past the outer gates. Each step felt like a knife was stabbing me, but it was only a confirmation of what I knew. "I wasn't late." Chulainn had picked the time precisely because it was when I would need more of my pain relief balm. That my leg didn't start hurting until just a few minutes ago was proof I still had plenty of time when they came to my rescue.

"I had a bad feeling," Deirdre whispered, taking my hand and squeezing it tightly. The three of us stopped in the courtyard, clustered so we could speak quietly. "It wouldn't go away no matter how much I reassured myself, so I asked Chulainn if we could find you a little early." Her grip tightened even further on my hand, almost enough to hurt. "Why... why were you with that man? He... Dimitra was right. He was so cold, like a void. Sucking the light out of everything and laughing in its absence."

"He was in pain." I shrugged. There was no grand answer. He'd needed help. So, I helped. "That's all."

"Of course that's all. Because you want to save everyone, even people like him." She stepped a little closer, leaning on me. I shifted my weight to adjust, and hid a wince as more pain spiked up my leg. "He... he didn't touch you before we arrived, right? Gods, I was so scared when I saw him reaching out..."

"No, he didn't." I fussed with a lock of my hair, remembering what he'd said. 'Disgusting Fjalar-red'... I had to admit I'd never heard anyone describe my hair like that before. Why had he fixated on it? "We need to inform Ayra, though, in addition to Grahnye."

"Why?"

"That's actually the second time I've seen him." I thought about elaborating, but unfortunately, another surge of pain shot up my leg. "Ugh..." Worse, though, was how my leg actually buckled. Chulainn barely caught me before I hit the ground. "I'm..."

"You pushed yourself too much," Chulainn murmured, scooping me up easily. His hands shook, a quiet sign of his own unease. "Why did you not get it healed fully again?"

"Edain and I decided it would be better to let it heal on its own," I answered, shifting to lean more against him. He was so warm and I… I felt safe. Finally, I felt safe. "That's all. It's really fine."

"Alicia, your leg gave out from pain."

"I just strained it a little."

"That's more than a little."

"And I thought you said it didn't hurt anymore," Deirdre grumbled, sulking at me. But, the expression was preferable to the frightened one she'd had before, so I welcomed it. "Sigurd's right. We should never believe you about your own health."

"I believe I told you it was manageable, which it is," I tried to correct. She only sulked more, however, and I knew I was in trouble. "All right, all right, I'll discuss it again with Edain."

"Good. I'll go fetch her, actually. It'll be best if you rest sooner rather than later."

"Walk with us until we find someone to go with you," Chulainn requested, already heading inside. Deirdre had to jog to catch up. "That way you can counter any of her arguments." I frowned up at him and he shook his head and adjusted his grip on me. "Of course, since we're near the appointed hour, and knowing Alicia's usual luck, I'm willing to bet..."

"Deirdre! Chulainn! Is Alicia back yet?" ...Curse my bad luck. Shannan rushed up not seconds after we made it past the castle's doors. "Wait, Alicia, are you all right?!" he yelped, immediately frowning up at me. I had to fight off a sigh. The only thing worse than a sulking Deirdre was a worried Shannan. "Is it your leg? Does it still hurt?"

"Yes, and her leg gave out." Chulainn, there was no need to tell him that! "So will you go with Deirdre to find Edain for me, please?"

"Of course!" Shannan stretched up to grab my hand, looking so worried I felt like I'd done something terribly wrong. "Alicia, you just rest. We'll get Edain, and then a treat for you."

"She liked Ayra's warm milk with honey."

"She does make the best. Even Grandfather refused to drink anyone else's!" He beamed, terribly proud of his aunt. "I'll tell her after we get Edain!"

"Have her make some for Deirdre too."

"Oh, you want to try, Deirdre?" His expression brightened even more and he let go of my hand to take hers. "It's really, really good and, like I said, Aunt Ayra makes the best ones! Probably because it's the only thing she can cook."

"Now, Shannan, you shouldn't say that," Deirdre laughed, letting him lead her down the hall. Already, she looked lighter. "Still, I have been curious. Sigurd had some and told me how much he liked it. Do you think she'll teach me? I can teach her to cook in return."

"I'm sure she won't mind," Shannan reassured, his laughter bouncing off the halls. "But I'm not sure if she'll want to learn in return? Last time she tried, Grandfather banned her from the kitchen."

"I can still offer."

The two bantered back and forth as the disappeared down the hall. It didn't take long; Shannan tended to walk fast even when he wasn't eager. As soon as they were out of sight, I couldn't help but ask, "Chulainn, did you bring Ayra up so she'll fuss or to give me a convenient excuse to talk to her privately?"

"Both," he answered without a hint of shame. He headed down the halls to my room, careful to not jar me. I settled against his chest, mentally preparing myself for her worry. "You…"

"Hmm?"

"You were terrified." He held me a little tighter, though still terribly gentle. "I could tell. You were terrified of that man." I didn't know how to respond, since he was right. "Yet you went to heal him anyway."

"I did. He was hurting."

"And that's all that matters to you." He sighed, the breath moving my hair a little. "I could ask you not to do something so foolish, and you might even agree, but the second someone is in pain, you will forget." He fell silent, and I did not reply. I couldn't. I was self-aware enough to know he was right, and there was no use apologizing. I didn't necessarily regret it. "Was he actually hurting?"

"He was. According to my books, burn scars are known for aches and contractures. I'm surprised he could move around at all, truthfully." He must have been very young when he was caught by fire, to have adapted so completely. "I hope he made it home."

"Of course you do." He sounded exasperated. "When you head out for rounds with Dimitra again, I'm coming with you."

"Very well." I titled my head back to smile at him. "Hey, let me make you some pleorula tea."

"You're not walking on that leg."

"You can set me down at my station."

"Would it kill you to not work?"

"But I like making you tea." Oh, should I be a little mean? "I just had a terrifying experience. Let me do something fun."

"Are you trying to guilt me into letting you make me something?"

"Now why would you think that?"

"I wonder."

We went back and forth the rest of the walk to my room, but when there, Chulainn yielded and set me down at my tea making station so I could make some pleorula tea. Edain rushed into my room before long to fuss over my leg, and Ayra swung by with the promised warm milk with honey with her own lectures on ignoring my health.

But before she left, I quietly informed her about the man and she promptly went to Grahnye to discuss the matter. There was, of course, little that could be done. Standing around being creepy wasn't a crime, and any bad feelings were purely subjective. So, all Grahnye could do was reorganize the city watch to try and investigate, and assign a squire to guard Dimitra, just in case.

I hoped it was the last time I ever saw that man. I truly, truly hoped.

---

A few days later, I did a full round with Dimitra, this time with both Chulainn and her new guard, Kyros. She beamed and laughed when she finished, glad to have finally done it, and I spent an additional hour or so with her afterwards helping her draft treatment plans and giving advice. From there, Chulainn and I returned to the castle in good spirits, and I discovered letters had arrived while we'd been out. One of them… one of them made me very nervous: Prince Kurth's. It was his reply to my gifts.

'Did you truly run onto a battlefield? That sounds like something Sunna would do.' Of course the opening lines past the traditional greetings referenced that little bout of stupidity. I'd purposely not written about it in my previous letters, but if rumors had reached Arvis, it didn't surprise me they reached the Isaachian Front. What did surprise me was that it apparently reminded him of my mother. I… I'd never wanted to learn much about her, and thus knew only the most basic of basics, but what I had heard never implied she was reckless. 'I am guessing this is how Chulainn ended up injured, then? Has he recovered? What of your other patients? Your last letter mentioned young Finn had been particularly hurt; is his recovery going well?'

"He is such a worrywart," I murmured, muffling a laugh. I was at my table, reading while drinking tea. Chulainn stood guard by my door, the same as he did in Evans. One of these days, I'd convince him to sit down with me. "I'm sure he'd prefer to scold me more for being reckless." But he didn't because it had been my choice and he ultimately respected that. The most he'd ever do was a minor bit of nagging.

'It is difficult to write how much I appreciate your gifts, Alicia. The blanket is the warmest I have ever had, and I can see why Arvis adores your tea mixes so much. I can't believe Ring kept such a conspiracy from me; I'd feared he'd been plotting a prank with how closely he'd been watching my teas! And I do promise I am using your energy-boost tea sparingly. Nothing can substitute true rest, but it has been a boon for those late night meetings. Marricle has switched his tactics to include night ambushes, to better combat our advantages.'

"So, did he like the personalized mix or not?" I frowned, trying to read between the lines. I hoped he did, but feared he was only being polite. "Maybe I should write Ring again to be certain? I'd like to make adjustments if needed." Still, I was glad he wasn't using the energy-boost tea as a crutch, only support, even as I made myself ignore the reason why. Marricle… was Isaach's anger still so great he had to draw the war out? Was Grannvale's? "What's the next… oh." The next part of the letter… it was written in the Rose Code Sigurd insisted on teaching me. Right, I hadn't yet received a reply to the warning he and King Jamke had sent. So, I found a spare piece of paper and slowly decoded it. It was hard; I only had a little bit of practice with this.

'I have to admit to being surprised to see this code. Good job on the hint, it was subtle enough that few would figure it out. Please reassure King Jamke I will investigate the matter with utmost discretion. He is right to be worried. Jugdral is ever eager to wipe away the last traces of Loptuous, and always forgets we are still dealing with people. How quickly do people forget their history… did you know some Loptyrians actually fought alongside the Crusaders? I do not mean their victims, but people who were raised to believe only to discover what they believed and what they saw differed. So, they took up arms, much as Saint Maira did before.'

That was surprising. Based on the stories, you'd think Saint Maira was the only 'good' to ever come from the Loptyrian Empire. But when you thought about it, it only made sense there were more who questioned and rebelled. So, this made the Hunts… I didn't know how to articulate it. It was like a festering wound, deep in the land itself. How many had been hurt by such infection? How many had died?

'Ah, but you do not need a history lesson right now. I apologize; I enjoy studying it as much as I enjoy magical theory. Let me know if there is a connection between Sandima's people and the current conflict in Agustria. I will see on my end if there was anything suspicious in Isaach. Maybe there are actually answers to this mess.'

That was the last of the coded part. The rest was simply his usual closing words, how he wished me well, to be careful, and maybe be a little less reckless. This told me knowledge of what happened with Ares had not reached him and I certainly didn't know how I'd reply when it did. Maybe I should admit to it in advance? I would think of it later. For now, I had other letters to go through, so I set Prince Kurth's to the side and picked up one with writing I barely recognized. When I opened it, the shortness and lack of signature told me who it was from: Duke Byron.

'Thank you for sending those gifts to Prince Kurth. It's been nearly twenty years since I'd seen him so happy. You may need to make another mix of that tea soon. He's refusing to drink anything but it and your energy-boost tea.'

That… that was all it said. That was all, but the simple words filled me with such overwhelming joy I thought I might tear up. Not only was this a confirmation he had liked it, but he had specifically said in 'nearly twenty years'. That number wasn't a coincidence. He… he was telling me this was the happiest he'd seen Prince Kurth since everything involving my parents and Cigyun happened. A-and I knew it could be a little white lie, words were easily written, but that didn't fit what little I knew of Duke Byron. Someone who hated writing had taken the time to write this to me. Someone who disliked dealing with letters had specifically sent me one to tell me this. That…

"Is all well?" Chulainn's voice was gentle and surprisingly close. I jerked up to see he was standing right next to me. When had he moved? "I thought you looked ready to cry, but you seem to be smiling," he murmured, brushing the back of his hand over my cheek. "Happy tears, then?"

"I… yes," I replied, stumbling over the word. Duke Byron… I wondered if he'd known I'd fret over whether or not Prince Kurth truly liked it. Had that been why? Then again, he was Prince Kurth's dearest friend; perhaps it was simply his own gratitude, seeing his friend so happy again. "It seems Prince Kurth liked my gifts?"

"Of course he did. They're from you." He said it lightly, and I could only shrug helplessly. Everyone said that, yes, but… "Then again, even if everyone knew, there is still something reassuring about being proven correct."

"Yes, there is." I felt less ridiculous about it now. "I'm… do you want tea? I'm going to make another pot." I stood abruptly, feeling a little jittery. Chulainn ducked his head to hide his slight smile. "Oh, Duke Byron wrote I may need to mix more…"

"Shouldn't you do that later?"

"I suppose you're right." I rested a finger on my cheek, thinking. "I should make a mix for Edain and the boys."

"How do you even remember all these mixes?"

"Hmm? Well, I do write them down in my notes in case I forget, but they're not that hard to memorize, especially since the base is-"

"That had been rhetorical." …Oh. "Make your tea, and jot down notes. I wouldn't mix up anything yet."

"That's fair. Anyway, do you want any tea?"

"No, I'm fine." His smile was boyish now. "I'm having fun watching."

"I fail to see what's so amusing." But I'd let it slide. I was in a good mood, and it only soared at his smile. "Now then…"

It didn't take me long to make the tea, and I pushed my letters to the side so I could work on this spontaneous new project. I'd reply when I was a little more 'settled'. For right now, I needed to focus this nervous energy, so I scribbled down anything I could think of for the various mixes I wanted to make. What they liked, preventative medicinal herbs… it was fun, thinking about such things. I could spend my entire afternoon just like this. But, of course, I received a visitor not long after I started.

"Alicia!" There was a very light knock on the door before Dew burst in, carrying a bundle of ragged blankets for some reason. "Um… so…" he began, breathlessly trying to find his words. I quickly waved him to the table and brought him some water. "Thank you!" He downed the cup in one gulp and set the blankets down on the table. Chulainn fetched him more water while I moved my letters and notes to my desk. I had a feeling I'd be working on them much later. "Anyway, um…"

"Take a breath to collect your thoughts," I urged, returning to the table to study the blankets. They were… they were too damaged to patch. Why did he have them? "Where were you taking these?"

"Here. I was bringing them here." This time, he drank the water more slowly and when he finished, he had a shy smile on his face. "I… um…" He set his mug down and brought his hands up in a 'wait' fashion. He needed a little more time to collect his thoughts. "There's a lot of orphans now."

"Yes, I have heard." Though everyone had done their best, there had been civilian casualties.

"And there's also lot of kids who are just really lost and confused because everything is weird and their parents are stuck in Sylvale because they're Cross Knights or they lost siblings and…" Dew paused again, closing his hands as if to physically drag the words back into his head to rearrange them. "Alicia?"

"Yes, Dew?" I smiled softly. He relaxed a little at it. "What is it?"

"Can we make stuffed toys from this?"

"Toys?" The question startled me, but when I thought of what else he said, I understood. "Ah, you want to make the children toys to help them feel better." He nodded and I held up the blankets again, evaluating them with new eyes. "Hmm… yes, I think we should be able to make some with these. The parts that are too threadbare we can use as stuffing instead." Now that I think about it, I should still have leftover cloth from the two blankets I made. "Let me find some paper and we can draw out some patterns."

"All right!" He smiled, expression lighting up, and I was reminded of how happy he'd been with the stuffed bird I'd made. "Here, I'll help!"

"If you insist, then you can grab my sewing supplies. I believe my extra cloth is stored in the same place…" I trailed off as I watched him, realizing something. "Oh, Dew."

"Hmm?"

"Your clothes are getting small." I walked over and crouched down to get a better look at his hems and how his shirt fell on his shoulders. He must be in the middle of a growth spurt. "You should've said something."

"Meh, I can still get it on."

"Dew." I rested my hand on his head and he blinked at me in confusion. "You're allowed to have clothes that fit." His eyes widened, and I had to fight to keep my smile warm and not sad. He'd fallen into old habits. "In fact, I insist you do. It's better for your health."

"Um…" He flushed and looked away. "I…"

"It'll also make it easier for you to move around for your pranks and training," Chulainn added, joining us. He didn't kneel down, but he did pat Dew on the back. "And it'll reflect better on those around you."

"I guess…" Dew mumbled, still looking away. He fidgeted with his too-short sleeves, struggling for his words again. "Um…"

"If you're uncomfortable with the tailor, Alicia can do your measurements." He smiled faintly. "I'm sure she'd make them for you too."

"Oh?" It was all he said, but he glanced at me hopefully, so I muffled a laugh and nodded. I'd be very glad to make them for him, especially if it would help him be more comfortable. "Th-then all right… but toys first!"

"Toys first."

And that was what we did, for the rest of the day. Chulainn stayed out of it, claiming to have no idea how to make toys, but he watched Dew and I design various patterns for the toys and used all the cloth we had to make as many as possible. Only then did Dew let me actually take his measurements before he rushed off to deliver the toys to… whoever was keeping an eye on the children. I saw him off with a smile before meeting Edain to plan a trip to the cloth store to make his clothes. I thought she'd like to weigh in on designs; she and Dew were close, after all.

---

Once Finn recovered enough to no longer be confined to bed, he was eager and impatient to rebuild his strength and resume his usual activities. Unfortunately, this meant he often ended up pushing himself too much and ended up right back in bed. After the fifth time, I had to order him to not attempt any physical activity outside of my supervision, which I knew frustrated him to no end and not only because he was tired of the bed. He was lonely, and too often left to his thoughts. Few could keep him company at all hours nowadays. Most could barely manage an hour.

"There you go. Keep one foot in front of the other." So, in an attempt to help him feel less isolated, I arranged for the bulk of his physical therapy to be at the same time as Chulainn's morning lessons. I didn't know if it actually worked, but he didn't seem as frustrated at least. "You're doing quite well, Finn," I told him, careful to keep our pace steady. Today, we were walking around the edges of the practice yard, with him leaning on me for support.

"Am I?" he asked, his voice shaking. This was our fifth lap and, truthfully, we should've stopped at the fourth given his current stamina. But he'd looked despondent at 'only' making four, so I agreed to a fifth. "I… I should be able to-"

"You are still recovering." I reached up to pat his sweaty hair, smiling gently. Nearby, I could hear Chulainn teach Dew and Shannan, the clack of practice weapons hinting he was having the two spar for once. "You suffered terrible wounds, and your body further weakened while you healed. You have to rebuild your strength, little by little. It is no different than how we are rebuilding Nordion."

"...Logically, I can accept that, but…" He sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I sound ungrateful-"

"Never. You are simply a kind young man who wishes he could help more." I took note of where we were, and saw we were close to our starting bench. I also saw another person had joined us at the practice yards: Lachesis. She hovered near the bench, frowning worriedly at the towels and water. Did she think there weren't enough? It was the same amount the boys always prepared for their lessons. "This is the first time you've been this wounded as well, yes?"

"Yes, I think so." Finn also noticed Lachesis at the bench and weakly waved at her. "I suppose that's not helping, is it?" He paused, gathering his thoughts. "But I'm healing well?"

"You are. At this pace, I think you'll be able to walk unassisted within the next few days. Once you have steadied there, you can reintroduce light training again." I made a show of looking around before continuing in a whisper. "You didn't hear this from me, but Chulainn has been working on a training plan for you once you've recovered enough for that."

"He has?" Finn's eyes widened in surprise, before he smiled in both relief and gratitude. "I see. I look forward to it."

"But that is not an excuse to rush into it. You know how closely he watches all of you."

"I understand." By then, we had finally reached the bench and I helped Finn sit down. "Good morning, Lachesis."

"Morning, Finn, Lady Alicia," Lachesis chirped, handing him a towel. Her smile soon faltered, though, when she saw just how tired and pale he was. "Is…?"

"He pushed himself a little today, but not to the point it's detrimental," I reassured, knowing what she wanted to ask. She fussed a great deal over Finn's recovery, since she still thought it was her fault he'd been injured. I also knew Finn had long since given up on convincing her otherwise and kept her informed about his progress. "However, I remember telling you to not call me by title."

"But-"

"If you are making an argument that I am your teacher, I should point out that most of my other students call me by name." Very few actually called me by title, and I welcomed the change. Titles were bothersome. "So…"

"Alicia!" As if to prove my words, Shannan rushed over then to tackle my legs. "Is Finn okay?" he asked, looking worried. I smiled and took another towel to help wipe off the sweat. Lessons must be over for the day. "He'll claim he is, but he says that even when he's about to pass out." Finn immediately made a face and Shannan scowled right back. "What? You do! And did. Just a few days ago."

"Strange how students so resemble their teachers," Chulainn noted lightly, a slight smile on his face as he joined us with Dew. I couldn't help but frown at him, knowing exactly why he said that.

"Oh, yeah, I guess he did learn it from you, Chulainn." Shannan's bland words made Chulainn tilt his head and I had to desperately muffle a laugh. "I heard from Aunt Ayra you insisted you were fine after being run through."

"I didn't say I was fine." Well, now Chulainn looked disgruntled. I was failing to muffle my laughter. "I could just fight."

"So, we can fight even when we're not fine?"

"If you know your limits."

"Chulainn, don't teach the children that!" I scolded, laughter dropping for worry. I immediately rounded on four, frowning. "Don't fight if you're not fine. Get yourself to a healer. Even minor injuries can hide major problems." Chulainn opened his mouth, but I scowled at him. "No, don't give exceptions." All of them were smart enough to think of them on their own.

"So, what does that say about you healing Ares while dying of poison?" Dew asked 'innocently', widening his eyes. I could only sigh. "With a broken leg! How is your leg, by the way?"

"Edain fully healed it. You know this." He was only bringing it up to point out I wasn't the best person to lecture others on being reckless.

"Hey now, if you scold her for that, I'll have to get protective," Lachesis teased, passing Dew some water. She tried to give Chulainn some, but he shook his head. The towels and water were for the boys, not him, or so he always insisted. "Nordion protects its own, after all!" Since when was I… you know; I wasn't even going to think about it. "Besides, I think an obvious exception is 'emergencies'."

"Who was scolding? I was just pointing it out," Dew protested, grinning too much for it to be anything but playful. Chulainn found another spare towel to drop on his head. "Hey!" He shifted the towel back just enough to sulk at Chulainn. "You could've just said 'get a towel'."

"Even I know Chulainn prefers a single action to a handful of words." She grinned and Dew rolled his eyes. Chulainn simply shrugged, unbothered by the observation. "Ah, but this reminds me! When things settle down, can I join the morning lessons?"

"Wouldn't you rather continue your staff lessons?" Chulainn asked, exasperation creeping in. Lachesis pouted and he brought up a hand in a placating manner. "I won't refuse, mostly because it's a waste of energy to try and convince you to change your mind, but you were focusing on that before alongside the medicinal lessons. And like Shannan, you have an instinctive grasp for swords."

"An instinctual knowledge of a single weapon provides some form of fighting, but not the experience to fully adapt to differences in combat," Lachesis countered easily, her tone firm and even. She had put a lot of thought into this. "The way you fight, Chulainn, is different from any I've seen. You've fought in battles I could never imagine. So, of course I want to learn. I'll learn tricks and techniques from you that I would never think of."

"...It sounds fancier, but essentially, it's the same reason why Finn wanted to learn." He sighed, shook his head, but nodded. "But, fine. Join whenever you can."

"Thank you!" Lachesis smiled brilliantly, all but radiating joy. Finn actually stared at the sight, nearly dropping his towel. Shannan laughed, delighted by her happiness and the idea of having another person at the lessons. "Though, Alicia, I wouldn't say 'no' to more staff lessons! I just think the learning herbs would be more helpful, especially since you're so busy." Chulainn and Dew, however, both looked up at the castle like something caught their attention. Was someone else coming to the training yards? "And… huh, oh, Ayra, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you all and, thankfully, you're in the first place I checked." Ah, and there was the answer to that question. I turned to greet Ayra with a smile, but the smile faltered when I saw her serious expression. "Grahnye wants to see you in her rooms, Alicia," she informed us as soon as she was close. "Mackily sent a messenger."

"They did what?" Lachesis asked, her eyes going wide. The gentle cheer slowly evaporated as the words processed. "The hell? Why? We haven't sent one, and Clement never makes the first move."

"I don't know, but the letter was delivered and the messenger is waiting for a reply. I happened to be walking past, so she asked me to fetch Alicia. Chulainn, she'd like it if you guarded the door." Chulainn nodded, as if expecting that, but I remained confused. Why would she want me there, and not...? "Lachesis, her message to you was-"

"Handle her usual duties because we have no idea how long discussions will last and what other things she'll need to do once a decision is made." Oh, well, this made a little more sense, then. I still didn't know why she wanted me there, but... "Was there anything specific?"

"Not that she told me." She shrugged and turned her attention to the boys. "Anyway, you'd better head off. I'll take charge of these troublemakers."

"But Aunt Ayra, we haven't caused trouble in two whole hours," Shannan replied cheekily, grinning up at her. It didn't quite hide his unease, but Ayra played along by rolling her eyes and ruffling his hair. "We've been learning properly."

"I can tell, and you all need baths," she joked, smiling affectionately at him. He made a face and gripped her sleeve. We all ignored how his hands shook. "Come on, stinky ones. Finn, can you lean on me or should I carry you?"

"Can you carry him, Aunt Ayra? Alicia said he pushed himself."

"Right, carrying it is, then."

Though no small part of me wanted to linger, I knew Ayra had the group well in hand, so instead, I smiled reassuringly at them and headed inside the castle. Chulainn fell in step with me easily, and the two of us navigated the surprisingly empty halls to reach Grahnye's rooms. The door was slightly ajar when I arrived, so I stepped in with a cursory knock. They were the same as always, the same as they had been when I checked on her yesterday, but never had the atmosphere within been so tense. I didn't even see Ares in his crib as I usually did. It was only Grahnye working at her desk, King Jamke staring out the window behind her, and Deirdre fussing with her sleeves at her side. All three looked up when I walked in, and Grahnye beckoned me closer as Chulainn shut the door behind me.

"Where is Ares?" I asked softly, glancing about curiously. It kept me from asking why she wanted me here; this still confused me terribly. "Is he well?"

"Azelle kindly offered to babysit him while we were being serious," Grahnye answered, smiling faintly. Her smile grew when she glanced at Deirdre. "He and Deirdre were debating some aspect of magical theory when I sent for her and he kindly escorted her here. While still debating whatever it was."

"The last I heard, they were discussing the various crystals and runes used by staves to convert one's magic into specific spells." Though, this was because Deirdre had wondered why most staves had a singular function, whereas the Valkyrie staff combined the strengths of both Fortify and Restore. Then again, if you believed the stories, the Valkyrie's staff had such potent healing abilities that it could even bring back the dead. "They got side-tracked while debating how to best study the relative power of the elemental spells to compare them with light magic."

"That explains a little of what I thought I heard. I fear I have no head for magic at all." To be fair, very few could keep up with Azelle when he was chattering about his research. Until he met Deirdre, I think Tailtiu was the only one who could, actually. "But as interesting as it would be to try and learn, I fear we have other matters to discuss." She held up a letter, wax seal freshly broken. "I took the liberty to go ahead and read it. Clement wants to speak with Deirdre."

"And he sends this message only after Sigurd has left?" King Jamke asked dryly, pulling the curtains shut. It took me a second to realize he was trying to prevent another assassin's arrow. "Let me guess. There's also a request she doesn't bring guards, as a gesture of goodwill."

"My, King Jamke, did you write the letter?" Grahnye smiled wryly. "Indeed, the letter requests no guards from Grannvale or Verdane. But Nordion has no knights it can spare, and he has to be well aware of that." I would hope he was also well aware of how suspicious both requests were, but I did remember both Sigurd and Lord Eldigan mentioned subtlety and subterfuge were not among Agustria's strengths. They even looked down upon it.

"I can't decide if I admire the gall or flabbergasted by the stupidity."

"Split the difference. That's what I'm doing."

"Regardless of why, we should try to keep on topic," Deirdre gently chided, drifting over towards me. She was terribly pale. Was it because of the seriousness of the situation or was she coming down with something? "So, what can you tell me about the Lord of Mackily, Grahnye? Sigurd gave me a general description, but you would have had more interactions."

"Not as many as you think," Lady Grahnye replied, chuckling like she thought there was something amusing to the words. I didn't know what. "I can tell you he's known for his neutrality. Even when King Imuka ruled, he would never voice his opinion until he heard everyone else's first. He often sided with Eldigan, but I do not know if it was because he actually supported Eldigan's arguments or if he knew it would earn him King Imuka's favor."

"His favor?"

"Yes…" She sighed, leaning back in her chair. "King Imuka… he was a very good king, and a very terrible father. He blatantly favored Eldigan, even over his own son." Ah, so this would be why a man known for being a kind and just king would father someone like Chagall. It might also explain why Chagall was so quick to turn on Lord Eldigan. Neither were excuses for the stupidity, of course, but it was at least an explanation. "So, Clement could have simply been trying to keep his territory in the king's good graces. He is devoted to their safety, to the point of excluding all others. He has no greater ambitions. He's content with the status quo."

"I see."

"You're considering it, aren't you?" King Jamke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Maybe I should give him some headache remedies. "Why? This is a blatant trap."

"Perhaps, but if we refuse, then won't that increase the chances of Mackily attacking?" Deirdre countered softly. He and Lady Grahnye winced. "Yes, it's obvious, but it's also obvious we have to play along. Nordion cannot weather another assault. Besides, if we're wrong and he is truly open for talks, then perhaps we can convince him to continue his neutrality." She clasped her hands in front of her, grimacing. "However, I will admit I don't feel comfortable about the clause about guards."

"Right, he essentially wants you there alone, or with obviously inexperienced squires." He growled under his breath, muttering a curse. "You can fight, but…"

"I'm not the fastest when it comes to casting spells, so I can be overwhelmed easily." She winced now, glancing at me worriedly. I knew another reason why she was nervous; we did not know if the Loptyrian Cult would attack. "Is there a loophole?" Yes, we needed a loop… hole… wait.

"Lady Grahnye, what is the exact wording?" I asked softly, mind whirling as I thought. Based on what she said earlier, then there was a very obvious one we could exploit. "Is it what you said before?"

"Essentially," Lady Grahnye confirmed, offering me the letter. I shook my head, trusting her word, but King Jamke took it to read. "If we're to play along, then Deirdre cannot bring a guard from Grannvale or Verdane."

"If it is only those countries that are specified, then Chulainn and Ayra can guard her." I smiled as the other three stilled. Sometimes the obvious solution was the last one you thought of. "Neither of them are from there, after all."

"That's right. Ayra is from Isaach. Chulainn is a mercenary and few of them hold ties to their home countries."

"I can already tell you he is not from either country anyway."

"Of course you'd know." She tapped her cheek, thinking. I frowned a little because there was something strange about her tone, but I pushed the thought aside. Now wasn't the time. "Either way, he can easily argue his case, but will he? He's assigned to be your guard, and the last time he chose to protect Deirdre over you..." I had met that strange man who had terrified me. Yes, he'd be reluctant, but the solution to that was also easy.

"The letter also specified Deirdre could not have guards from Grannvale or Verdane. But I am a healer, not a guard." I shrugged. "If he's going to be specific, he only has himself to blame when others circumvent it."

"Quite true, and having a healer along will be good if things end up bloody." She nodded to herself a few times. "But what other protections can we have in place? Sigurd is doing so much for me; I will not recklessly endanger those he holds dearest, even at their own request."

"Well, the letter says nothing about an escort to the city, only guards within," King Jamke noted, returning the letter to her. "We'd have to balance it with maintaining Nordion's defenses, but a small group can set up camp on the outskirts. It might be best if it was only some of ours, in case Clement decides to take offense."

"No, take Lachesis with you. She can break them out of prison if the need arises," Lady Grahnye suggested, as idly as one would chat about the weather. King Jamke promptly gave her a weird look. "She's Hodr Minor, King Jamke. Breaking through stone walls can take some time, but the iron bars of a prison might as well be paper. So long as she is in good health, that is."

"I really need to remember the shenanigans Holy Blood allows." He groaned at the thought. "How do you all keep track of all of this anyway?"

"Practice."

"Right… wait, Lachesis would fit the requirements for the guard." King Jamke suddenly frowned, thinking. "Should she go in as a guard as well?"

"No, we mustn't skirt the line too much if we want to pretend to play nice. Besides, if Clement doesn't know she's there, she can bust down the doors more easily."

"How can… you know what? I'm just going to smile and nod whenever a plan involves someone with Holy Blood doing something weird."

"That would be best, if only to keep some modicum of sanity."

Discussion turned to other matters, mostly defenses and precautions, but I barely paid attention. Though I kept my calm, a terrible feeling pooled in the bottom of my stomach and took all of my attention. Everyone was acting as if Clement had made the 'first move', but I didn't think so. Quan had said to keep an eye on Mackily because we did not know how they would react to their attack on Heirhein. People rarely changed their habits during stressful times, so I was certain this was not, in fact, the 'first move'. This was Clement's response, and so I had to question... how did he interpret it? What did he believe? How did he perceive the most recent events?

The answers would be key to all of this. I could only pray none of us would regret it.

---

Deirdre replied personally to Clement's letter, pretending to be a simple, naive woman who definitely did not see a potential trap. It was her idea, to lean into how others perceived her. I simply sighed and shrugged, more focused on convincing Chulainn to go along with the plan. He wasn't exactly thrilled to hear of Deirdre's decision, and was even less enthused about me accompanying her. But, in the end, he agreed, so I could turn my attention to our medicines and patients. Thankfully, most had recovered from the siege, and no injured had been Returned yet from Heirhein.

I left choosing the escort group to the others, only learning later. Lachesis, of course, demanded to be a part, and was very pleased to hear Grahnye had recommended her. The second obvious addition was King Jamke himself, though he had to convince his soldiers to remain behind and continue to maintain the defenses in his absence. Azelle volunteered, citing his magic as a good reason to be included, and Dew declared he wasn't going to let us leave without him and he'd tag along no matter what. The most surprising addition to the escort was Finn. Truthfully, based on his health, I should have refused, but it was a similar situation to Sir Midir in the wake of Edain's kidnapping. Staying behind would be worse for his mental health. So, I agreed on the condition he took it easy and listened to the rest of us.

Sir Arden wanted to come along. After all, his lady was going into danger. But after lengthy discussions, he agreed to stay and assist with Nordion's defenses. Unfortunately, he was the most experienced Nordion had in defensive techniques; the Cross Knights were trained for offense and were ill-suited for protection. With too many unknowns, that experience was best kept in Nordion.

Edain was another who remained behind, in her case out of necessity. Though Ethlyn had not Returned any wounded yet, we did not know when or if she would. As such, a healer had to remain behind and I was accompanying Deirdre. Edain played it off, keeping her mood light, but I knew it hurt her to stay back while we were walking into potential danger. She was especially worried about me in this scenario, and she wasn't the only one.

"I'd really feel better about this if you conjured flame, sister." Azelle, in fact, chose to confront me directly about it. "I wonder why you can't," he mumbled, leaning back in his chair to cross his arms. I busied myself making tea, since it wasn't as if I had an answer for him. "It can't be only connected to your aversion to hurting people."

"Does it matter, Azelle?" I murmured, bringing the tea over before sitting down across from him. It was only the two of us in my rooms; Chulainn had taken one look at Azelle and declared he'd keep watch outside to give us space. "Whatever the reason, I can't. Arvis tried to teach me, and it was nothing but awkward."

"Right, because unlike spells, we know it instinctively. It's like breathing." He frowned. "Is it sealed? Blocked? Is-?"

"Azelle." My tone was firm and he stiffened. "Forgive me, but I have no intention of being the focus of your next research project."

"I… I didn't mean…" He drooped at my words and fiddled with the handle of his mug. "Like I said, I'd just feel better if you could. It wouldn't go against your refusal to cause harm. Walls of flames serve well enough as shields, and I'm certain it would be easier to make your teas and sterilize your equipment if you could." Perhaps that was true, but it didn't change facts. "Why are you going?"

"I am going to support Deirdre, and be on hand in case Clement's response draws blood."

"And we're purposely triggering the trap because it was decided that would be less damaging than ignoring it." He sighed and finally sipped his tea. "It's also good for gauging Mackily's relationship with Nordion. Not only has this mess shown the fragility of Agustria, but it also has shown how…" He trailed off, mulling over his words. "Perhaps it's because we're from Grannvale, but it feels surprising that they'd so easily turn against the house with Major blood."

"Grannvale leans heavily into the 'divine providence' of the Blessings, partly because of the Church of the Twelve Gods." That wasn't to say there were no dissenters, but even the dissenters would rally around another person with Holy Blood. "But from what Sigurd and Ethlyn have said, Agustria has never been dazzled by our supposed divinity. Even in the tales, Agustria yielded to Hodr's strength, not because he was blessed by Jarl of War."

"Meanwhile, Grannvale's people were awestruck by the blessings. Given how some texts write of Emperor Gair as if he were not human but a god, it only makes sense they take a similar mindset for the Crusaders. Only a god can counter a god. What hope do mortals have?" He grimaced. "I suppose that explains why our father didn't have rebellions. He was the worst, but he was still descended from a 'god'. What hope would they have if they did rise up?"

"That is certainly an explanation. It took nearly a decade for Velthomer to recover after his death." I remembered Arvis telling me a little about it. I still didn't understand much, but it was truly ridiculous. A land as rich and fertile as Velthomer should not have had nearly fifty percent of the population starving, yet our father had somehow managed it. "It could also be that people were so busy trying to survive they couldn't think of it."

"Fair. Drain an area of resources and you deprive them of the means to rise up. But I feel like that's just… it's shortsighted."

"I think that describes our father well. He was naught but a child throwing tantrums, doing whatever he wished for short term pleasure, and never bothering with the larger picture." But this was not a topic which would sit well with either of us. "We should not spoil such a fine day with his memory."

"No, we shouldn't. It would be nice if he were forgotten entirely, but the scars he left are too severe for that." He managed an awkward smile. "What were we…? Oh, right, we were talking about how fragile Agustria was, and how strange I found it that they hold no respect for the Major." He fell silent, nursing his tea. "I suppose…"

"Hmm?"

"I suppose if that is the case, Agustria will not be so easily cowed by Grannvale. That might explain Boldor's response. Until recently, Grannvale has not warred since the Holy War. Internal squabbles are fought most often with words." He set his tea down and regarded me seriously. "But it still provides some potential shields."

"Azelle?"

"Just…" He fiddled with the handle of his teacup again, hunting for his words. "Alicia, you're Arvis's heir."

"I am n…" Instinctively, I thought about protesting, but then I remembered. "Ah, I had the same reaction when Tailtiu mentioned it at the Festival of Flowers. Yes, technically, I am."

"Yes, and that's a shield. You should use it more." He shrugged. "You're more associated with Sigurd than anything, but until Arvis marries, you're the heir to Velthomer."

"Perhaps I should needle him into marrying." I made a face; he choked on a laugh. "But I suppose it's not only his trust issues which makes him reluctant."

"Until it's confirmed whether or not Saias inherited Holy Blood…" He nudged his teacup to the side so he could rest his arms on the table and his head on his arms. "Of course, even if he is the Fjalar Major of the next generation, I doubt Aida will ever let him be in the line of succession."

"I think so too." And I knew Arvis would never force. "How many female Majors are there in our generation?"

"Uh… one, I think?" He thought for a moment before nodding. "There isn't a Naga Major. Sigurd is Baldr, Quan is Njorun, Eldigan is Hodr, Arvis is Fjalar, Bloom is Thrud, Danann is Nal, Father Claud is Bragi, Marricle is Od, and Travant is Dainn. Don't know much about Silesse, since it's very reclusive, but I heard something about them having a 'prince', so I'd assume he's the Ced Major. Thus, the only female Major of our generation is Brigid, of Ullr. And she's missing." He frowned. "Why?"

"I was merely thinking you could disguise the lack of a Fjalar Major with another Major, but the chances of that are slim." I muffled a laugh. "Though, that certainly does sound like a tale."

"A missing heiress returning from nowhere to win the heart of the infamously coldhearted duke? I think there's ten or twenty just like it." He grinned and pushed himself up. I poured myself more tea and topped off his cup. "Fun as that sounds, though, I doubt it'll happen. He'd have to rely on how it's not atypical for the firstborn of a Major to have only Minor blood."

"He'd either do that or break tradition and make one of us the heir even after he has legitimate children so everyone is too busy squawking to investigate." The only other alternative would be for Saias to take it up willingly, but that should be his own choice, when he was older. "Of course, this is all still speculation. Has Saias's Mark shown?"

"Aida says it hasn't, but she's the only one who checks, so if she's in denial or is lying…" He shrugged, and I could fill in the blanks from there. "As far as I know, he hasn't thrown fire yet and most would have by his age. But… well…"

"I am an example of one who inherited the blood and Mark, but does not conjure flames."

"And Saias is a quiet kid. While we have control, the flames are connected to our emotions."

"This is why when you're excited, you'll start throwing sparks."

"Y-yeah…" He blushed, a thousand and more incidents running through his head. He'd accidentally burned some of his notes because of it. "But Saias apparently didn't cry much even as a baby. So, if he is throwing fire, it's much more subdued."

"He's not almost setting the castle on fire."

"Urgh… how much did Arvis tell you?"

"He told me a great deal, both for my own curiosity and because you're his favorite topic." I muffled another laugh, and he groaned and let his head fall to the table. "But I will only tease. I doubt I have to use such knowledge to threaten you as I do our older brother."

"If you ever do tell, I demand a silly story about him in payment."

"We'll see." I reached across to nudge his head. "But that is a topic for another day, and there is no point in pursuing the original since I will leave with Deirdre regardless." Deirdre had already admitted to me that she felt reassured by my presence, so no one was going to stop me. "How about your research? You two had a focus, but have spread out considerably."

"Well, that's because Deirdre asks so many interesting questions! And... um..." He lifted his head, a strangely conflicted look on his face. "Don't be mad?"

"Azelle, why would I be mad?" I frowned. "Are you two being reckless?"

"No? At least, I don't think we are. Everything is theoretical, so the biggest threat is papercuts. It's just..." He fidgeted with his sleeves before switching to his teacup. "I got a package from Arvis recently."

"And why would I be mad about that?" Arvis was always sending gifts. "He wouldn't send you anything dang-"

"Sunna." ...Well, that was random. "He... um... he sent me some of Sunna's research." He couldn't look me in the eye, and now I knew why he worried I'd be mad. He knew of my very complicated feelings for my mother, and how they leaned towards hate and anger more than anything. "I'm rather surprised he held onto it for so long."

"I'm not." Arvis... he'd loved my mother. He'd adored her. She'd been Cigyun's best friend, his protector and teacher. She'd been the one to first teach him magic, and coaxed him to remember fire was not only a thing of destruction. He would never throw away anything of hers, not when he had so few memories. "Arvis is terribly sentimental." For some reason, Azelle looked skeptical, so I shrugged. "When you next get a chance, check the lowest right drawer of his desk."

"Why?"

"It has pictures you drew as a child." I sipped my tea to better ignore his squawk of surprise. "I think I'm more surprised our father didn't destroy it in his suicidal temper tantrum."

"Fair." He went back to fiddling with the handle of the teacup. "But he sent me some of her research, and it's brilliant. There's not a lot, but what's there is…"

"...I'm glad you like it." And I was. I was truly glad he liked it. I was glad he was happy. Now, was I glad because it was Azelle and I adored seeing him happy? Was some part of me relieved something of hers would help someone I loved? Was a quiet part of me proud he thought her work brilliant and worth furthering? I… I had absolutely no idea. So, I focused on what I knew I could articulate. "So, some of it was sparked by her."

"Yes!" His eyes started sparkling, now that he knew I would not be angry. "So, we still have our main project, but we can't help but seek out additional questions! It's a lot of fun!"

"It's a shame Tailtiu isn't here." I meant the words lightly, but Azelle suddenly blushed. "Hmm? Azelle?" I tilted my head curiously, but he refused to look at me. "Are you all right?" He nodded, still not looking at me. "Should I have not brought up Tailtiu? I simply remembered you found her theories fascinating and she might have enjoyed bouncing ideas with you and Deirdre." He was still red and still not looking at me. "Did you two have a fight?"

"Huh? Uh… no? I mean; she wasn't happy to hear Lex and I were going off to war again without her, but I wouldn't call it a fight?" He clapped his hands together before focusing on me again. "Oh, right, she did ask if you'd mind writing her letters. I told her you wouldn't, but she can be surprisingly shy when it comes to initiating things."

"Oh? Well, since I haven't received one yet from her, perhaps I should write first?" This felt like a shift in conversation, but I'd go along with it. "Though I don't know what she'd find interesting about me or my life."

"Everything. That's how she is. She's curious about everything, especially those she cares about." He had a soft smile on his face now. "But honestly, just letting her know I was right and you won't mind would be enough for her. She thinks of you like a sister."

"I feel like I'm collecting younger siblings."

"W-well, that just shows how good of an older sister you are!" He grinned and I smiled and shook my head. He was adorable. "Grr… maybe I should write a paper on that."

"Please don't." Ah, he was as ridiculous as Arvis. You could tell he raised him. "Regardless, I'll write a letter to Tailtiu and…" I trailed off as someone knocked on the door. "Yes?" It clicked open, but surprisingly, no one entered. "Is everything all right?" There was still no response, but Shannan shyly poked his head around the door, and I understood immediately. Shannan was feeling awkward, but Chulainn knew I'd always welcome him and went ahead and opened it. "Oh, hello, Shannan!"

"Hello," he mumbled, smiling hesitantly. I waved him in, and he slowly stepped inside, closing the door behind him. It had been a very long while since he'd been so skittish around me. "Am I bothering?"

"You could never," I reassured. To emphasize my words, Azelle got up to fix more tea for us. The current pot was lukewarm at best. "Azelle and I are merely chatting. He's a worrier."

"That makes sense. You're siblings, and you're always worrying." This was more true than I was willing to admit at the moment. "What's he worrying about this time, though?"

"What are any of us worrying about? The trip to Mackily has the potential to be very dangerous." I didn't think anything of the words. It was the honest truth, and no amount of hiding would prevent him from learning the truth. But when he paled, I wondered if I should've been less blunt. "I'm sure you've heard."

"...Yeah, Dew told me today…" The smile on his face was crooked and unnerving. "I mean… I knew you all were going, but Aunt Ayra said it would be alright."

"It will." I set my teacup on the table and turned in my chair to better face him. "But it still is dangerous."

"Right, right… so, a whole group of you is going and I… I'm the last one to know the…" His hands were shaking. I frowned, noticing how stiff his posture was. "And I'm… I'm being left behind again…" He ducked his head, his shaking hands twisting into his pants. "I hate it!" This… had he ever shouted like this before? I couldn't remember, and frankly, it didn't matter. "I hate being so little! I can't do anything and I'm always left behind!" Somewhere behind me, I thought I heard Azelle nearly drop something, but I didn't look. "And everyone just waltzes into danger, or sends me off! Why am I the only one kept safe?!" My focus remained solely on Shannan. He was hurting, so I… "Even Father made Aunt Ayra leave because I'm too little to do anything! I'm just… I just want…!"

"Shannan." I kept my tone as gentle and even as possible to interrupt the tirade. He flinched at it, his whole body trembling. "Come here, please." I waited and, eventually, he moved in front of me. "And… oof…" As soon as he did, I picked him up and put him in my lap, despite him being a little too big for it. "Goodness, you're heavier than I remember. I can't believe I used to be able to carry you." But though this position had to be uncomfortable, Shannan leaned into me and hid his face in my shoulder. "Now, do you feel a little better or do you need to yell more?"

"...I don't know…"

"I see." For him to shout like this, it had to have been building for a while. Considering he mentioned his father, it might have even been building since his forced escape from Isaach. "Then is it alright if I reply?"

"...Sure."

"All right." Now, how to best go about this? "The answer to why you are always kept safe is a simple one, Shannan. You are a child, a young child, and it is our job as adults to protect you." I rested my cheek against his hair and hugged him gently. "I know it's frustrating. You're old enough to feel like you should be doing more, but you're not old enough to know what. You know enough to recognize the dangers, but not enough to make things safe. You're in a strange in-between, like when you were recovering from the dungeons in Genoa." He flinched and I knew I'd hit a nerve. "But, in a way, it's worse, because you're well. You're healthy. So, you feel like you should be doing more." He nodded, one hand coming up to curl into my shirt. "Would you feel better if I gave you a task to focus on while we're away?"

"You do that each time." I thought he was smiling. "How do you know everything?"

"Oh, Shannan, I really don't." I wasn't surprised he'd figured it out. He was smart. "But I have been watching over you for some time, so I'd like to think I know you a little. So?"

"Please?" He sounded small and fragile. "There's so much going on and…" And a task helped him feel 'in control' of a life he was still desperately trying to adjust to.

"Of course, but this comes with a caveat. It is something you must always remember." I waited for him to nod before continuing. "Children are to be protected. They do not owe anyone anything for this; it is their right as children. You have too much to learn and experience to be worrying about safety. So, I hope you hold it in your heart that protecting you is our choice, our duty, and our joy. Seeing you grow is all the 'thanks' we could ever have wanted." I hesitated before kissing his head, just as Sigurd and Quan had done for me. "Still, if you are ever unhappy, if you feel like the protection is suffocating, do not be afraid to tell us, just like this. Your happiness is as important as your safety." And I knew well the loneliness that came from someone prioritizing 'safety' over 'happiness'. "Do you promise to remember?"

"I do."

"Good." Now, what was a good task for him? Ah, I knew. "As for your task… well, since we don't know how long we'll be gone, I'll give you a couple. I'd like it if you helped Grahnye, for instance. She forgets to take breaks-"

"Like you?"

"Hey, I'm much better at taking breaks nowadays." I muffled a laugh; he managed a watery one. He was not crying yet, but he was definitely holding tears back. "But she'll need a helper with everything she's doing, and someone to remind her to take breaks. So, that's task number one. Task number two is keeping an eye on Ares and Altena."

"Ares is still recovering, isn't he? Does he need medicines?"

"No, he doesn't."

"All right." He leaned more into me. "Um… why is Dew able to go, though? He's still young."

"Ha… if I had my way, he would stay right here with you. But we guess he is about thirteen, and it is not uncommon for thirteen year olds to begin taking on adult duties." And, of course, Dew had spent so much time taking care of himself that treating him as a 'normal child' would only be patronizing. "That is also why Oifey goes off to battle with Sigurd, and why Finn fights despite not being of age."

"And I'm just eight." He groaned. "Five years… that's so long…" I suppose it was, especially to him. It was over half of his age, after all.

"It'll pass more quickly than you think." I loosened my hug on him so he could climb off my lap if he wanted. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little…" He hopped to his feet, smiling awkwardly. "Um…"

"You'd better not be apologizing for the outburst, mister." I leaned forward and gently tapped his nose; he immediately made a face. "Such feelings are normal and healthy. You should never feel ashamed for expressing them." I did not want him to grow up as I did. I wanted him to know he would get help if he asked, would be heard if he screamed. "If you do not let them be heard, then they shall burst out when you least want them to." I suspected that was what happened here, though I wondered why he came to me. Was it because he'd known I'd be honest with him? Was it because Ayra was busy and Sigurd was not here? I'd likely never find out.

"A-all right…" His smile became shy and he ducked his head. "I'll try."

"That's all anyone can ask." I leaned back in my chair to look at Azelle. He was still diligently fussing with the teapot. "So, have you finished the tea, little brother? I think we can all use some."

"Oh, should I get Chulainn?"

"He won't have a cup of anything but pleorula, but you can tell him he can come back in. Azelle and I are done talking about private things."

With bright eyes and a brighter laugh, Shannan eagerly fetched Chulainn, even dragging him in, and the four of us spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about lighter things, such as Azelle's research and some lessons Shannan was interested in. Later, I'd warn Edain about Shannan's need to be helpful so she could come up with other tasks while we were away. I had a feeling he'd need more to feel 'safe'.

---

Preparations for the trip to Mackily continued and, before long, it was time to depart. We did so in two groups, mostly to throw off any scouts who may be watching. Chulainn, Deirdre, Ayra, and I left first in a carriage, traveling as openly as possible so all were aware we were heading to Mackily. Lachesis, Finn, Azelle, Dew, and King Jamke followed about half a day later, traveling much more quietly. Our two parties met outside of Mackily for a final exchange of information and reassurances, and this was when the first group learned a messenger from Sigurd had arrived shortly after we had left, bearing a critical message.

Heirhein had fallen, with Boldor fighting until the end and taking his own life when it became clear Sigurd and Quan wanted to capture, not kill, him. His people did not mourn him; they only worried about how the lack of a lord would affect their daily lives. While discussing the situation with the local elders, however, they learned villages in Anphony's territory were suffering from frequent and brutal bandit assaults. So, of course, Sigurd led half of their forces to assist, with Quan to follow with the other half as soon as Heirhein was stable. It was a very Sigurd thing to do, and I even approved. However, given what he had shared of Anphony's past…

"Didn't Sigurd tell us Anphony's lord once cooperated with bandits to squeeze his people dry?" Deirdre sighed, tapping her cheek as we walked. According to the guards on the outer gates, carriages were not allowed within Mackily's walls. No reason was given, but none of us wanted to make trouble, so we chose to walk through town to the castle. "Since he only stopped because King Imuka ordered it, wouldn't it be fair to assume he succumbed to old habits? Did Sigurd forget that?"

"Deirdre, may I remind you who your husband is?" I asked dryly, careful to keep close. If I had to take a guess on why carriages weren't allowed, I'd guess it was because of how narrow these streets were. It was near impossible to walk anywhere without a crowd. "If it even occurred to Sigurd, he would've dubbed it an acceptable risk. People need help."

"Point made." She flinched as someone swayed too close, but Ayra quickly shifted so she was between Deirdre and the stranger. "Thank you, Ayra. Ugh, why are there so many people?"

"I have no idea." I glanced up worriedly at Chulainn; he'd opted to keep a hand on my shoulder to keep from being separated. "I think we're nearing the main square, so hopefully, there will be a little more breathing room. My bag is going to bruise my leg at this point." I had to shift it in front of me to minimize chances of it smacking a passerby.

"That would be because of all the books you stuffed in there."

"Well, I need to do something while you talk diplomacy." Though, not all of the books were medicinal. One was The Assassin's Bride, because Deirdre was ahead of me. I needed to read a few more chapters to catch up. "I cannot assume the castle's healer will let me assist or read their notes, so…" A sudden crash startled all of us, and we twisted to try and see what it was. All I saw was a jumble of people and even more scattered items. "What in the world was that?"

"The classic 'staring too long at the pretty girls and not watching where they're going'," Ayra snarked, laughing as she tried to nudge us forward. "Though, in this case, it was three boys carrying boxes and a girl carrying baskets."

"So, they were staring at the girl carrying the baskets?" Deirdre asked curiously, still looking back. I frowned and looked up at Chulainn to silently ask him to find a way to them. He sighed, but nodded, glancing around for the best path. "And then crashed into her?"

"No, no, all four were staring at you two."

"Three," Chulainn corrected, gently guiding me towards the commotions. I held onto him tightly to not lose him. "They were staring at you too, Ayra."

"Oh, please, if they were staring at anyone besides Deirdre and Alicia, it would be you, Chulainn," Ayra easily dismissed, still laughing. At least, she laughed until she noticed the distance between him and her. "Hey, where are you two going?"

"It's Alicia. Where do you think?" He waved over his shoulder. "Just stay there. We'll be right back."

Chulainn's words proved true. It didn't take long at all for me to make it to the four who had crashed and, thankfully, they were in good health. Judging by how red their faces were as they mumbled their thanks, I think the worst was the overwhelming embarrassment they felt. Since they seemed in a hurry to scurry off, I told them to be careful before Chulainn led me back to Deirdre and Ayra so we could resume our walk through the streets. It was a good thing we did. We'd barely made it to the main square, with thankfully much more space, before Deirdre swayed and nearly collapsed.

"Ugh…" she groaned, covering her mouth like she was nauseous. Very quickly, Ayra led her to a fountain to sit, while I dropped my bag on the ground and immediately began examining her. "I'm fine, Alicia. It's just nerves."

"Deirdre, you've been having episodes like this for days," I pointed out, crouching a little to look her in the eye. I hoped it would better convey my worry; this was the first time she'd been nauseous. That suggested an escalation. "I won't force you; you know that. But this has been a recurring issue. I would like to make sure it's what you think it is, and not a sign of a major health problem."

"I… oh, very well." She made a face at me, but softened quickly. "The idea was to not make you worry, but if you're worrying anyway, let's clear both of our minds."

"Deirdre, it's me. I'm always worrying over you." Fighting off the urge to smile in relief, I brought up my staff to begin the examination. Ayra and Chulainn lingered near, serving as shields against any curious glances. "Let's see now…" Slowly, I noted each symptom and inconsistency I found with her health, mentally categorizing them so I could narrow it down to an initial diagnosis. However, as I did, I began realizing just what these symptoms and bodily changes were consistent with. But… oh, but if I was correct, then I didn't have any medicines guaranteed to be safe! So, I needed… "Chulainn?" Rolling my staff into the crook of my elbow, I quickly reached into my pouch for paper and pen. Edain had recommended it when we discussed the changes to my emergency pouch, and I was so grateful she'd insisted on it. "Can you go to the apothecary for me? I need…" I tried to mentally calculate everything I would need, based on Mistress Yesui's lessons, before I remembered I didn't need everything right now. I just needed enough for now. "I need these, and in these quantities." I scribbled down my list and held it out to him. He blinked slowly at me in return, and only now I realized all three of them were staring like I'd developed a pox. "Please? It's important."

"Of course it's important; everything involving health and medicine is for you," Chulainn replied, reluctantly taking the list. Ayra and Deirdre were still staring. "But you usually go yourself."

"I'm not done with the examination."

"And you require this even before finishing?"

"Yes." Honestly, it would be good to keep on hand anyway. There were married couples in our army. I should ensure I had a good stock of contraceptives too.

"And why me?"

"You're the one who insisted on carrying our gold, remember?"

"That's because you three were hiding yours in obvious spots for pickpockets. Dew was ready to outright confiscate them from you." He sighed gustily, but he nodded. "But all right, all right. I'll go."

"Thank you!" I beamed at him, and he smiled before leaving. "All right then…" My focus snapped back to Deirdre, checking her over again. I wanted to be certain, and I needed to figure out how far along she was.

"Alicia, is it bad?" Deirdre asked softly then, her fists clenched at her side. I worried she'd scrap them on the stone. "You can just tell me-"

"You didn't show symptoms before we left Evans, so you probably conceived after the siege," I murmured, thinking aloud. She blinked up at me in confusion. "In that case, you would only be a few weeks at most… yes, if I remember correctly, these symptoms are consistent with the first month…"

"Conceived? First month?" Her eyes widened, and it was only then I realized I hadn't actually told her anything. My mind had been working too fast. "Um… Alicia? Are you saying…?"

"Ah, yes, congratulations, you're pregnant." That… that could've been said a little less bluntly. "Though, if you would prefer not to be, I can mix up a medicine later."

"No, no, I…" She wrapped her arms around her abdomen protectively, a look of wonder on her face. "I… there's a baby here? I'll be a mother?"

"If you desire it, then yes, you will." I knelt down so I could smile up at her. "I'll do whatever I can for you, whatever you choose. But is it safe to assume you want to keep them?" She nodded vigorously, looking ready to cry. But her smile was so bright you could never confuse it for sadness. "Then I will warn you that the lightheadedness is only the beginning. You're getting daily checks to ensure you stay healthy throughout all this." Ah, I was nervous. There was so much that could go wrong and I remembered how Mistress Yesui's lessons warned that sometimes, a would-be-mother did everything right and still miscarried. I should write her as soon as possible for advice.

"Of course. I'm in your care, Alicia, as always."

"Am I allowed to cut in?" Ayra asked, carefully leaning over us. She had an amused smile on her face now. "I did my best to not eavesdrop, but given Deirdre's expression, and the fact that she had her hands on her stomach, I'm assuming we're about to have another baby crawling about."

"I… well, it's going to be a few months," Deirdre mumbled, bringing her hands up to clasp them to her chest. She still had a silly smile on her face. "Oh, I can't wait to tell Sigurd."

"Won't that be an exciting 'welcome back'? You want to hear Marricle's reaction to learning he'd be a father? It was so funny and…" She trailed off suddenly, stiffening. "That man…"

"What's wrong?" Deirdre looked around curiously, and her expression flattened. "Is that armored man heading our way?"

"He is." Ayra dropped a hand to her sword. I helped Deirdre to her feet and picked up my bag. Only then did I turn to look at the suspicious man, and I immediately noticed two things. One, his armor bore the crest of Mackily. Two, he also had a hand on his weapon. "He's holding himself too tensely, and he's popped his sword out of the sheathe."

"Don't. Do. Anything." With those hissed words, Deirdre forced a smile to her face as the man stopped in front of us. "Hello."

"Good afternoon, my lady," the man replied, words crisp and clipped. Though he bowed, it was short and barely polite. When he straightened, his hand twitched towards his sword once more. "I am here to escort you."

"Is that so?" Deirdre asked, still keeping polite. Next to her, Ayra bristled. I watched the situation calmly, not liking this at all. "Strange. I do not remember requesting an escort."

"My lord sent me, fearing you would lose your way."

"I'm sorry to have put you through the trouble." Meanwhile, I glanced at the very obvious castle standing blatantly in the distance. I think most would be able to find their way to it easily. "You can return and let him know I will be there shortly. I needed to catch my breath."

"I am to bring you with me, my lady." He spoke slowly, like he was talking to an idiot. His hand fluttered over the hilt of his sword. "Those are my lord's orders."

"Oh?" Deirdre made a show of thinking, gauging his reaction. When his hand grasped the hilt, Ayra immediately tried to draw her own, but Deirdre quickly stopped her by placing her hand on hers. It was easy to see why. We were in a very public place, surrounded by people. If a fight broke out, civilians would be caught in the crossfire, no matter how hard we tried, and it would all too easy to frame us for instigating the assault. In other words, he was using his own people as hostage to ensure we cooperated. "Well, I wouldn't want to make trouble. Lead on, good knight."

"Very well, my lady." He almost seemed disappointed by the response, but he turned away too quickly for me to be sure. "This way."

Deirdre and Ayra followed without hesitations, Deirdre acting as if this was planned and Ayra glaring at the knight's back. I did my best to keep up, but I looked around, wondering if anyone had noticed anything amiss. It was hard to say; people kept walking past. But someone in the crowd was watching us: Chulainn. He was watching us with a frown, and I made sure to catch his eye and shake my head. Given the circumstances, it would be better if Chulainn, at least, remained uncaptured. I think he understood since, after a moment, he nodded, and slipped into the crowd, disappearing quickly. And I… I had to jog to catch up, catching Deirdre's hand so I wouldn't lose them.

The trip to the castle passed in a blur, with all my focus on holding Deirdre's hand. Inside, people bowed as we passed, but we were not led to a grand chamber like a throne room where many people could listen in. Instead, we were led to Clement's office, where he sat at his desk, flanked by a hard-eyed knight. A private location with only two others… this implied a few things and none of them good. Whatever Clement wanted to say, he did not want it to be readily known and these two knights were trusted enough to be privy to the information anyway.

"Ah, welcome to Mackily, Lady Deirdre," Clement greeted, smiling with all the warmth of a humid summer's day. Though propriety dictated he'd stand, he remained seated as the three of us stood in front of his desk. Our 'escort' took his place on Clement's other side. "Strange, I could have sworn my message requested no guards?"

"Forgive me, Lord Clement, but Alicia is no guard," Deirdre replied, smiling with all the warmth of a summer's sun. I nodded my head at my name, shifting my bag to better hide the dagger on my belt. I didn't want them to think it was a 'true' weapon. "And Ayra is from Isaach."

"Ah, yes, I do remember hearing your husband took the princess of Isaach prisoner." Ayra stiffened at the words, but what caught my eye was not the wording. It was his tone. There was nothing mocking to it; it was what he genuinely believed. "Is it custom in Grannvale to put prisoners to work?"

"Ayra is under my husband's protection, and as such, she does as she wishes." Deirdre's smile brightened, blinding and piercing. "When she heard of your request, she volunteered to accompany me. These are dangerous times, after all."

"Not helped by your husband."

"We merely answered Nordion's call for aid." Deirdre clasped her hands in front of her. "My understanding is that Grahnye sent messengers to both you and Anphony first, but she received no response." That was a complete lie. Grahnye had known neither Anphony nor Mackily would assist and hadn't wasted the time. "Fearing for her people, she then requested Sigurd's assistance, which he was happy to give."

"Strange, I do not remember a messenger."

"Ah, I am happy to hear you did not simply ignore their plight, my lord." She beamed; Clement grimaced. "But I assure you she did send a messenger. Perhaps Heirhein's forces intercepted them."

"Perhaps." Clement quickly plastered his humid smile back on his face. Ayra glanced at me and rolled her eyes. I smiled faintly, but otherwise, made sure I was as calm as a healer should be. "But if your husband was only here to assist Nordion, why did he and his ride for Heirhein?"

"Heirhein continued to attack, even after we arrived." Deidre fussed with her hair, acting the part of a noble lady who knew nothing of battle. "I wasn't part of the discussions, but that was clearly an act of war, was it not?"

"And if Heirhein is brought to heel, will your husband return to Nordion?"

"So long as no one asks him for help." She smiled once more. "Sigurd is ever the knight. He can never turn away from a call to aid."

"I see." Clement leaned back in his chair, a sharp and calculating glint in his eyes. "Well, I am now even more interested in speaking with Sigurd, then." Strangely, the words did not make me feel reassured. "You shall, of course, remain here until I do."

"...Oh?" Deirdre's smile dropped like a rock, and her eyes were just as hard. Both knights dropped their hands to their blades. "And if I refuse?"

"My lady, please, you yourself mentioned the dangers on the road. I cannot in good faith send you back." The humid smile was back, paired with the most patronizing of tones. "So, I insist you remain, as my honored guests." And if we refused, the knights were clearly under orders to make us stay. There was no other reason for them to be so eager to draw blade. "I have rooms prepared for you, so-"

"While that is kind of you, we will only need one set of rooms," I interrupted, already knowing how bad of an idea that was. Not only would it be easier to harm us if we were alone, separate rooms meant they would be able to lock us in more easily. "However, I do have a question for you. Where is your healer?"

"My healer?" Clement repeated, surprised. I wasn't certain if he was surprised by my question, or if he'd forgotten I was here. "Ah, regrettably, he is ill and, as such, is not here." Now, was he truly ill or did Clement ensure he was out of the way? I didn't know, but since it gave me an opening, I decided to not care for now. "And I really must insist on the rooms. I will not be so rude as to-"

"Would it not be ruder to deny our request? We are honored guests, are we not?" I regarded him coolly, feeling like ice had replaced my blood. This man was an idiot. This man was an absolute idiot. "Besides, given how you just informed me you have no healer on hand, I must remain with Deirdre to tend to her health."

"..." For the first time, Clement's sickly polite smile faded. "What was your name again?"

"My name is Alicia. I am the heir to Velthomer, and I serve as Sigurd's Chief Healer." It was the first time I had ever introduced myself as an heir and, truthfully, I was surprised I didn't stumble over the phrase. It felt unnatural in my mouth. But I wanted to emphasize just how stupid this all was. He already knew who Deirdre and Ayra were. If I added mine, then surely… surely… "I do hope you will not try to tell me how to do my own job."

"..." He sighed, visibly aggravated. "Very well. You two will share a room. As for your guard-"

"Are you deaf or does your brain not work?" Ayra scoffed, crossing her arms. Unlike Deirdre, who remained polite, and me, who was frozen, she freely showed her anger and distaste. "The request was for one set of rooms. That means I will be moving into theirs. End of discussion."

Clement glared, analyzing the three of us, but he sighed and nodded, waving us away. If there were any polite farewells, I didn't hear them. I couldn't. All I could think of was how I tried to warn him how stupid this all was. I tried to give him a way out. But he didn't take it.

Were all of Agustria's lords idiots?

---

I had to admit the rooms were nice. They were spacious, with a grand total of five rooms not including the closet and the bathing room, and each one was decorated nicely in beautifully light pastel colors. The many windows let in all the sunshine we could ever want, the various furnitures were comfortable and numerous, and in my opinion, we had all the pillows and blankets we could ever want. Given that Ayra stole all the blankets and pillows from another room, however, it seemed she didn't agree with that last point.

"Well, this is a pain," Ayra sighed as she sprawled out against the pile of blankets and pillows. Shaking my head, I continued walking around the room to get a feel for it. I could probably turn one of these into a workshop if the other two didn't mind, though without my usual stock, its use would be limited. Could I borrow some from the infirmary here? "You two take the bed, by the way. I'm making a nest."

"So, that's why you gathered more," Deirdre replied, muffling a laugh from her seat on the lounging couch. On the surface, she appeared serene, but I knew how worried she truly was by the tightness of her smile and how rigidly she sat. "But yes, this is… Alicia all but told him outright why this was a terrible idea."

"I can't believe he didn't realize it himself!" Ayra brought up her hand to count it off. "Firstly, he took you hostage. You're the wife of Chalphy's heir, which means you're the wife of one of the highest ranked of Grannvale's nobility. Ignoring Sigurd's personality, which includes a reckless loyalty so intense he invaded a country to rescue his childhood friend, that's just taunting Grannvale right there. Then there's Alicia, who…" She paused, twisting to look at me. "Oh, right, what was that about you being the heir?"

"Hmm? Ah, that is…" I began, not knowing what to say. It truly did feel weird. "It's more of a technicality than anything. Inheritance prioritizes the Major, yes, but if there is no Major heir, then it follows birth order."

"And since Arvis doesn't have children, you are his heir because you're the elder of his younger siblings," she filled in, nodding. She then rolled back over to count off again. "So, we have Alicia, the heir of Velthomer. This means she's the same rank as Sigurd and, thus, is also one of Grannvale's highest ranked nobles." That was so odd to think of, but she was correct. "This isn't going into Arvis's personality. From what Azelle has told me, he's protective and very prone to bringing his all in the initial assault to quickly and efficiently destroy anything in his path." I… well, I couldn't say she was wrong, but it sounded terrible when put like that. "Then, finally, there's me." She sighed, gesturing at herself. "Regardless of the war, I am under Sigurd's protection, with the grace and permission of King Azmur. Taking me hostage is a direct challenge to Grannvale's authority." A heavy silence fell as Ayra finished spelling out why this was probably the most idiotic thing since Chagall imprisoned Lord Eldigan. "I give it a week before it reaches Grannvale, and then another week before they arrive for a bloodbath."

"The bulk of Grannvale's military is busy."

"So, add a week to build up forces." She groaned, covering her face. "And, again, that's just dealing with Grannvale's response. What sort of idiot thinks provoking Sigurd is a good idea? And Quan? Because we all know Quan is going to be livid." She rolled over and rested her head on one of the many pillows in her nest. "So, do we fight our way out?"

"Ayra, I do not fight. You two would have to protect… actually, no." Frowning, I turned to Deirdre, who tilted her head curiously. "With the amount of stress your spells put on your body, Deirdre, I recommend against fighting. I won't say you can't in self-defense, but…"

"Ah, yes, forgot about that." To be fair, we literally found out today. "So, no fighting our way out. I could easily hold my ground, but I'm not trained to fight while protecting someone. Sneaking?"

"You may be skilled at it, and Deirdre still has her tendency to move without making noise, but I'm not certain I'd be any good at it." This was the worst. If I weren't here weighing them down… "You two could always leave me behind, though."

"Like hell we are." Ayra's tone flattened. "Who knows what his response would be? We can't assume you'd be safe thanks to your titles. He's already stupid enough to do this."

"But I could buy time for you-"

"No, we are absolutely not doing that," Deirdre rejected firmly, shaking her head. I could only sigh at their stubbornness. "Oh, what happened to Chulainn? We couldn't exactly leave a note."

"I saw him before we left," I explained, letting her change the subject. We'd bring it up again in a couple of days. "He was staying in the crowd, analyzing the situation, and I silently told him to keep back."

"So, knowing him, he probably followed us sneakily. Given his skill, we might even expect him before long." As if on cue, there was a quiet and polite knock on the door. "If that's him, I'm going to laugh."

"Why would he knock on the door?" Still, some part of me found itself hoping it would actually be him as I went to open it. It wasn't, of course, and I had to fight the strange disappointment I felt at seeing the adorable young maid standing there. "Hello?"

"Good evening, my ladies!" she chirped, smiling brightly. Her black hair was braided back with a ribbon threaded through, and her blue eyes shone with sincerity. "My name is Penelope." She curtseyed with her introduction, elegant and polite. "I have been assigned to you for the duration of your stay."

"It's nice to meet you, Penelope," I replied, reminded of Cathleen back in Velthomer. They had the same easy grace and warmth. Was it a requirement for maids? "We'll try not to give you too much trouble."

"Cleaning up trouble is the job of a maid, my lady!" Her smile warmed, and I took note of the easy way she held herself. The sincerity, the warmth, the relaxed posture… all of it hinted to something very, very curious. "Is there anything you require right now? The Housekeeper did her best to try and furnish the room with whatever you needed, but it was a rushed job."

"Actually, there is something we need." I smiled as serenely as I could. I had to act like this was the most natural thing in the world. "I fear we were not planning on an overnight stay, so we don't have nightgowns."

"You don't?" She blinked a few times in clear surprise. This only solidified my theory. "I'll see what I can find, my lady. Lord Clement's wife died years ago, and he never remarried, so I fear there is little in the way of women's clothing outside of what the staff wears."

"None of us will mind borrowing some, if it is all right with your Housekeeper." I kept my voice light, like I was discussing something over tea. "We will also need a tailor sent in the morning."

"...Right, because if you don't have nightgowns, why would you have a change of clothes?" She looked away, her smile faded for a confused frown. Now I was all but certain. The staff had been told the same story he tried to feed us: we were 'honored guests who stayed willingly'. "I…" She closed her eyes, shook her head, and returned her attention to me with a smile. "I will send a messenger to the tailors right away, and will be back soon about those nightgowns."

"Thank you very much, Penelope." I smiled warmly. "We'll look around and see if there's anything else we need." Penelope bobbed another curtsey in farewell before rushing off. I waved her goodbye and shut the door before turning to face Deirdre and Ayra. I knew they had been listening. "Well then."

"It seems the staff is not in on his grand plan, which fits him meeting us in his office," Deirdre murmured, tapping the cushion of the couch as she thought. Ayra, meanwhile, sighed, blatantly annoyed at this. "How was he going to explain the lack of things?"

"We'll find out in the morning, since I'm sure someone with rank will have asked by then," Ayra grumbled, scowling at the thought. But suddenly, she perked up. "Wait, but none of us have gold, so he has to foot the bill for the clothes."

"Oh? Well, we might as well take the easy excuse to drain his coffers."

"Think you can manage it?"

"Ayra, you were there when I got this dress commissioned." She smiled sweetly. "You should know how much it cost."

"Fair." Ayra snickered. "Ah, it might actually be worth enduring more measurements for this."

"I can't wait to tell Edain and Ethlyn you willingly let yourself be measured again."

"I said might. And it's only to make him regret ever coming up with this idea." She scowled and Deirdre laughed brightly. "Anyway, what were we discussing before… right, Chulainn. I think you're right, Deirdre. He probably followed us at a distance, and the only reason we haven't seen him yet is because he's figuring out what room we were put in."

"Ah, yes, Mackily's castle is built very differently from Nordion's." For one thing, Nordion's wasn't as towering. We were on the third floor. "I suppose it would be difficult for him to contact us. Maybe he could throw a rock at the window to catch our attention?"

"Or wait until we take a walk to approach us?" So they thought, but I remembered a particular trait of Chulainn's and had a sneaking suspicion of what he'd actually do. "Alicia?" Ayra looked at me curiously; I spared a thought to be amused at how like Shannan she looked. "Why do you have a weird look on your face? Surely you of all people know Chulainn would've followed us. The only reason he didn't catch up is because you told him not to."

"That's not it," I sighed, exasperation filling me. Though I did have to wonder about her wording. What did she mean 'me' of all people? I didn't necessarily know him best because we spent all our time together. And why did she think Chulainn agreed only because I asked? It was the best decision at the time. "I simply do not think he'll throw a rock or wait in the gardens in ambush."

"You don't?" Deirdre asked, seeming surprised. My attention, however, turned towards the windows. "Then what do you think he'd do? Return and report?"

"No." I sighed in exasperation when I caught sight of familiar blonde hair. "He'd climb."

"Huh?"

"You can't be serious," Ayra protested, looking ready to laugh even as I headed to the window and fumbled with the lock. It dropped for shock when he came level with it. "Tiamat's claws, you were serious."

"Aren't I always?" I snarked, finally managing to get the window open. Chulainn stood there waiting, stoic as ever. "You have to be the most ridiculous man in all of Jugdral." I leaned out to confirm we were on the third floor of the castle. I had no idea how he climbed up; he was barely standing on some sort of decorative… thing jutting out of the wall. I had no idea what it was; for all I knew, it may have been a gutter. "I swear…"

"Here's the medicine," he interrupted blandly, handing me the bag. I'd been so focused on his appearance that I hadn't noticed he'd been holding it. "The apothecary, by the way, spent five minutes 'congratulating' me and offering other remedies for an expecting mother."

"Yes, these medicines are good for pregnant women. They're made specifically to not cause harm to her or the fetus, so it's better than trying my usual medicine." I took the bag from him and set it on a nearby table. I should have requested more. "That's why I sent you off so quickly. Deirdre's pregnant."

"That explains a lot." He glanced at something below before climbing in and closing the window. "So, what stupidity did this lordling pull?"

"I'd excuse the idiocy if he truly was a lordling, but the man is easily in his forties, so he's just a stupid lord," Ayra complained, sprawling out on her pile once more. I supposed she was over her shock. "I know Agustrians are poorly suited to intrigue, but come on! Does something this haphazard actually work on them?"

"None of that answered my question, and yet, I can still take a guess," Chulainn sighed, running a hand through his hair. I snagged the other to check for any scrapes. "Alicia, you've seen me climb castle walls before. I'm fine."

"Let her fuss. She's reeling from the stupidity like me." She waved a hand. Deirdre, for some reason, was studying Chulainn, a strange glint in her eyes. "But anyway, he's taken us hostage. No, sorry, 'honored guests'."

"...Oh?" It was all he said, but the sheer exasperation and annoyance in the one word made it heavy. Yet there was also something else to it, something cold.

"We were thinking of ways to escape, and I came up with one shortly before you showed up. How long would it take to get Edain's warp staff?" Well, that was an interesting tactic. "Seems like it would be the simplest plan. Warp two away, and then you sneak out with the third, Chulainn." Yes, it did seem simple and I knew I could easily argue for being the last one. Yet, for some reason, Chulainn didn't immediately reply. Instead, he… it was hard to describe, but there was something sharp to his gaze now. It pierced through everyone, laid them bare, and he was examining every piece within. I wanted to ask, but my words dried in my throat because I noticed the tension building in the room, like a storm looming on the horizon. "So…"

"Do we have to leave?" Deirdre's very light, 'innocent' tone only added to the feeling. "I mean; he's given us such an opportunity that it almost feels rude to not exploit it," she continued, her smile bright yet wrong. "Chulainn, I think we chatted about a similar situation recently, where we were dealing with someone we could not win over. What was your suggestion again?"

"Turn the people against him," Chulainn replied, soft words emphasizing the sharpness. I turned my attention to trying to figure out why this felt familiar, and realized it in a second. It was the same impression he gave off the night after the assassins tried to kill Shannan. There was something wild to him, something which refused to be tamed or cowed, but in Sigurd's office, he used it as a means of intimidation. But this time… this time was different. What was it? "I don't think any of the suggestions I gave then will work here, but there are other ways."

"Then will you do so?"

"..." Chulainn smiled slowly, a smile I had never seen on his face before. It was like a predator bearing fangs. I hated the phrase, yet I had no other way to describe it. "Yeah, I don't mind." His eyes glinted, cold gaze piercing through. "It's been a while since I've gone on a hunt." There. That was the word I needed. That was the difference. Before, in Sigurd's office, this air was for intimidation. But he wasn't intimidating anyone. This was the beat of silence right before a hawk dove for its prey. This was the 'held breath' as you realized something was about to die, quickly and without mercy. "Influencing the castle will be slow from the outside, though."

"Then we'll handle it instead." She clapped her hands together, bright smile almost eerie given the subject matter. "I think I'll still try and talk with Clement, but I see no reason why we can't retaliate after such a blatant and clumsy attempt at an attack."

"Of course." He leaned against the wall and almost crossed his arms. I still held one hand, though, so he merely tapped a knuckle against the stone. "Question, how secret do we want to keep your pregnancy?"

"I have no plans to hide it."

"Very well." He smirked. "That'll be the start, then."

"I can't wait to hear~!"

"If you two schemers can stop plotting for a few seconds…" I began, sighing. This… this was utterly insane. "What exactly do you plan for Ayra and me?"

"Oh, Alicia, you can just be yourself!" Deirdre chirped, giggling. I could only stare in confusion. Was the pregnancy already affecting her brain? "I'll just be taking advantage of your charming self this time."

"Then I suppose I can play the part of a barbarian swordsman who has no patience for social customs," Ayra suggested, her tone even. But I saw the uneasy look she gave Chulainn. Was she unnerved by the discussion? No, that didn't seem right. "I'll be the blunt to your subtle and Alicia's charm."

"Yes, that'll work!" Everyone was going mad from stress. I had no other explanation. "This does mean you have the unenviable job of informing the others, though, Chulainn."

"It's fine, since we've a plan," Chulainn dismissed, moving back to the window. I found myself reluctant to let go. "I'll sneak in regularly so our two groups can coordinate." His smile finally settled into one I was more familiar with, but the sharpness still lingered. "In the meantime, we'll send for the Warp staff. If there hasn't been significant progress by the time it arrives, we'll use Ayra's escape plan."

"Yes, that sounds good," Deirdre agreed, standing. She still had the sweetest smile on her face. "Now, where was pen and paper…?"

"And she's already plotting." Chulainn smiled faintly and opened the window, ready to leave. But he didn't. I was still holding his hand. "Alicia." I… I didn't want to let go. But I knew I needed to.

"If I write a list, will you buy me more medicines?" I asked softly, trying to mask this strange feeling. It wasn't just that I didn't want to let go. I also… it felt weird, seeing him leave like this. This would be the longest we'd been apart since he was hired and I didn't like it. "I doubt they'll let us leave to go shopping, after all, but I'll need more for Deirdre."

"Of course," he whispered, squeezing my hand reassuringly. Strangely, it didn't make me feel better. "I'll sneak messages from the others as well. I'm sure it'll help everyone feel better about the situation."

"Yes, it would." What else… what else could I say? "Oh, and tell Finn to not push himself. He's still recovering."

"I will." He smiled gently, the same gentle smile he wore the first time I made him pleorula tea. "See you soon." With that, he slipped his hand from mine and quickly climbed out the window. I closed it after him, and rested my hand on the glass as he disappeared from sight. Why did I feel so unsettled? It made no sense at all.

Shaking my head, I turned away to try and find some sort of distraction. Deirdre had successfully found pen and paper and was now at one of the tables, scribbling down her thoughts and ideas so she did not forget. I thought about trying to make tea, but my attention drifted to Ayra, remembering how uneasy she'd been. Even now, there was an uncomfortable look on her face.

So, I walked over to her little nest and crouched down next to her. "Are you all right?" I asked softly. Her eyes flicked over to me. "You seem… are you upset we're not escaping?"

"No, and truthfully, I rather like being able to retaliate, even if I'm not suited for this type of warfare," she replied, words easy and light. She wasn't hiding anything yet. "It's only…" But now she trailed off, struggling to find her words. I sat in the pile of blankets with her and waited. "The phrase he used… it's…" Abruptly, she shook her head. "No, never mind."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes. It's… it's something I frankly do not have the energy or focus to deal with at the moment. There's too much going on." She managed a faint, bitter smile. "That's all. I have to shelve it for now."

"If you are certain, I won't pry." I took her hand to squeeze it reassuringly. "But remember, I am always willing to listen."

"I know." Her smile softened and she squeezed my hand back. "Let's see what Deirdre has planned. Sounds like she's writing a book over there."

"I'm going to see if there's anything to make tea with first."

"Do you even have teas with you?"

"Yes?"

"Right, it's you. That was a stupid question."

Sadly, there wasn't a tea set in the room, but thankfully, Penelope arrived with the promised nightgowns before long and I was able to request one from her. Meanwhile, Deirdre and Ayra happily discussed and dismissed all sorts of plots and schemes, and I listened in to point out potential flaws. All I really got from it, though, was that Deirdre was very, very intent on making Clement regret not speaking things out.

Maybe she shouldn't have taken so many lessons with Quan.

---

Midir

Class: Arch Knight

Skills: Pursuit, Charge

Holy Blood: None

Age upon joining the Army: 21

An orphan who was adopted by Yngvi's former Weaponsmaster, he first joined the knights to repay his adoptive father and give back to his home. Even after joining, however, he continued helping his father with all the paperwork needed to teach all the squires and knights of Yngvi, simply because his organizational skills meant he could get the job done in a tenth of the time it would take others.

He is the first to admit he is not the most impressive battle-wise, describing himself as 'painfully average' or 'boring, but practical'. Where he shines is his ability to read the battlefield and zip about for hit and run tactics to throw the enemy off-balance long enough for others to take the kill. For this reason, he actually fights better with Chalphy's knights compared to Yngvi's, and this may be a reason why he is closer to Sigurd's personal knights than any of Yngvi's knights.

Originally assigned as Edain's bodyguard for his ability to react quickly and to assist her with running the household, it did not take long at all for feelings to slowly blossom between the two. However, he keeps firmly silent, despite the teasing of others, as he believes himself terribly unworthy of her and feels it is a betrayal of Lord Ring's trust in him.

---

Author's note: So, this is a little different. In game, Mackily remains neutral until Anphony is dealt with, but I moved it up for timeline purposes. Also in-game, there's no mention of hostages and whatnot, that's partly inspired by the corresponding scene in the Oosawa manga adaptation. The bandit attack is from the game, though. In fact, they have been attacking the villages since… turn one or two? Something like that, at least. It's why you have to hurry to capture Heirhein; with all the woods surrounding the villages, you need to spark Lewyn and Silvia's appearance ASAP to have a chance at saving them all.

Manfroy doesn't… actually, Manfroy has very few appearances in the game, despite being the grand orchestrator of the plot. So, I added a brief cameo in the previous chapter, and made a more extensive one here. His daughter is unnamed, even in canon, and I based her appearance on Sara's.

In-game, the Valkyrie Staff has only one use: the ability to resurrect a fallen ally at your home castle (one of... I want to say 3 in the series? FE1/3 had the Aum Staff and Fates had the Bifrost). However, since this severely limits its usage, I've added in the ability to heal/restore like the S rank staves of other FE games, such as FE6 and FE8.