Rilla shouldn't feel this nervous but she is, the living room is spotless, then again it always is Gog and Magog are in their spots, and her new dress conceals more of her predicament than others thankfully, even if the cat was out of the bag so to speak. Still, it was better to conceal it, hide, than to show off her state of expecting in public or within polite company at the very least.
She preferred her light comfortable things around the house, buttons down of her brothers, smocks and drawstring waists for skirts. Her one dress was craftily made to expand with her but kept the longs of the fashion, which relied on corsets, while her day-to-day wear were blousy tops, that had adjustable buttons or ties, tent-like and made to be worn untucked over her skirts.
Una and Minnie are already here, helping her get ready for the afternoon, wearing aprons over their dresses. Little Jims was in the care of Mrs. Meredith who was delighted to watch him so he wouldn't be underfoot at the meeting, toddling about for this one anyway.
Mary Vance comes along first, and Miranda Pryor who seemed to be rather nervous still. Her engagement ring is still on her finger but her fiancé, Rilla had heard the rumour of Miranda's father not liking the fact that Joe Milgrave joined the war.
"Come in," she says and leads them into the living room. Tea is ready and all the sewing and knitting is laid out for everyone. She didn't know who else would come, she didn't expect many but when the doorbell goes off again Rilla gathers her courage to answer it.
Marjorie was smiling and holding a basket of things, and behind her were others.
Betty and Alice were standing there, and Irene Howard, but told Rilla she would watch over the group until they got their legs.
"It's nice to see you so rosy and fresh looking," Irene says in her sickly sweet voice. Kissing her cheek, which was a choice in itself.
Rilla only nods her head. Already cursing Hades at her overactive bladder, and how Irene would notice how many times she went.
Rilla looks to Betty and Alice who take in their old friend. "Rilla has always had an enviable complexion," Alice says to Irene. "She hasn't let that go to waste even when she photographs herself she is flawless.
"Gained a few pounds though," Irene notes humming as she goes to sit down. "Don't let yourself go, you wouldn't want Kenneth to come back and for you to be tipping the scale?"
Rilla looks down at her stomach and frowns.
"Ignore her Rilla," Minnie says. "Just do as your doctor tells you."
"I didn't realize we had a chaperone for this?" Irene says stiffly.
"I am just helping you ladies get started, " Minnie says. "Mrs. Blythe was worried about you ladies not sure where to start or what to do. I offered to help this little group get their legs and to have a liaison with the Red Cross for anything you may need from them."
Irene harumphs but sits down nose up in the air.
Rilla clapped her hands together and took a deep breath. "All right then, Mary has come up with a few things for some fundraising for our men, but I have a few that came to me as well. Persis was telling me about events she goes to in Toronto and I think with a little bit of work and creativity we can pull something off as well."
"You will need to create a council as well," Minnie tells them. "Don't have to do it right away, but it is something to think about?"
"I think Betty should be President, she had the best stage presence and public speaking of all of us," Alice says with command jumping into it.
"Una should be treasurer, no one worries about money if it's in the hands of the pastor's daughter," Irene said looking at Una, it wasn't necessarily a compliment, but Una blushed.
"Secretary?" Betty says. "Rilla had the best notes from school?"
"Is it worth it if she is going to disappear in a few months?" Irene says eyes narrowing.
"So we can have a second, for when she's away, I can do it," Marjorie speaks up, winking at Rilla. "Plus it's a baby, it's not she going to die on us?"
"Mothers die all the time though don't they? Didn't you Mrs. Anderson almost have a close shave?" Irene says overtly sweet and pointed at the same time.
"I had an issue that was fixed," Minnie says eyes narrowed, looking at Rilla who had gone slightly pale. "It's really not that much of an issue and Miss Howard, how would you know about such things?"
Irene's nose wrinkles and there is silence from her for the next little while as they all sewed.
"I told Mother that Marjorie was coming and that if Marjorie was coming then I should be allowed to go as well. "Alice says gaily with a giggle, "which helped Betty. So she told her mother that I was going, and Marjorie and what was wrong with sewing at Ingleside for the sake of the war. What was the harm?"
"We did beg, I even tried to sneak out one day and come over to see you, but Mother caught me," Betty says quietly.
"We didn't know each other that well," Miranda says quietly explaining her absence. "But it's nice to get to know you better now?" She says in a way of a question then a statement.
Miranda was two years older, not quite the twin's age and had been in Shirley's class before he went off Queens. Her father was an interesting sort of person who had opinions upon opinions and not everyone agreed with them, but Miranda was always a sweet girl whenever Rilla was around he
"I heard you're engaged?" Rilla asks, and Miranda blushes and nods her head.
"Papa, he's…coming around to it but ever since Joe enlisted he's been stubborn about it. He won't give his blessing to get married before Joe leaves, and it's a mess of a situation." Miranda explains quietly as she sews.
Their first afternoon meeting went well enough that they planned another, and then another. While Rilla didn't venture out of other places preferring to stay at Ingleside, not wanting to go out on the cold icy roads as her centre of gravity and balance constantly changed and moved around, just as well, any morning meetings were apologetically off the table as well.
She didn't disclose how she still rarely slept through the night, waking up often, only sleeping three to four hours at a time. Though now sometimes it was constant kicks and somersaults inside of her that also kept her up.
To Lieutenant Kenneth Ford
ID 163322
10th Battalion
CEF,
France
January 18th 1916
Dearest
Sleep is elusive, dreams are far too vivid, and father says that is oddly enough normal.
It's 3 am and I have to write to you instead, I can feel our little one flutter about, make itself known now. I wish you were here to feel it, I suppose I will feel it for the both of us. It's such an odd feeling I feel like I felt it for a while but thought it was only things. I don't know truly, but our child is moving and squirming. Our child is strong…it has to be strong.
I have passed the point of easily hiding it, of course, people had seen us together in August so naturally they had put two and two together.
I don't quite know how to feel about the comments about it lately sometimes it feels so condescending, but what can one do? Of all the things that Hades is doing in this world, and our marriage is still the talk of the town? Sometimes they smile sickly and say how nice it was for you to leave me with a token to remember you by.
Mother got angry at me one time because I retorted rather saucily at them about wondering who else would leave such a token and that you were thrilled with the news. We have been married for a year, surely it couldn't be that scandalous? I am pretty sure that Chrissie Thomas was married six months ago, and clearly further along than my six months, let alone Marjories older sister being hidden away because there was no time to get married before he let.
I was just so over it and didn't mean to be rude or saucy, though Mother really couldn't scold me. I was just defending you, and our marriage.
I suppose the more current news these days is that I have helped start a Junior Red Society, Junior, as all of us are under the age of twenty-one. Una comes over for it, which allows some others to come. If the reverend's daughter can join the group it is wrong to keep the others from joining?
Betty and Alice came quietly knocking on the door, they…very cautious about showing up after being told to pretend I didn't exist for so long. I don't hold it against them though, they didn't know and were only following their mother's orders.
Miranda Pryor comes about as well these days as well, you know of her. She comes around every other day lately, just to have tea and to have a friend. I never knew her well, she wasn't friends with the Twins, and rather quiet like Shirley. Her father is a pacifist and doesn't believe in the war, he refuses to let Miranda marry her fiancé Joe after enlisting.
"Father had a letter from Jem, one that he apparently wrote on leave…and mailed it himself. The battles, the bombs he described Ken…I can't…I don't want to think you are living through the same things. Your letters only describe life, downtime, and what the food is like. I understand it of course…but never feel like you have to hide the darker side of things. I know they censor letters but, never feel like you have to.
Love your Rilla
The girls, get braver with their questions as their friendship resumes, no longer school-age girls, but young women watching brothers, and beaus go off to war. Experiencing life in ways their older siblings never did at sixteen.
"I raised five dollars this week," Betty says grinning.
"I got three so far," Alice says with a sigh.
"I ask everyone who stops by to see Father, and managed to get two dollars in change," Rilla explains. She often feels like she's not doing enough, often adding a few dollars from separation pay to make up for her inability to go out and canvas as the others did.
"Well, I got seven dollars," Irene tells them all with her usual aires.
"Well, Rilla and I got the shirts cut out the other day and a few sewn together for us, so we should stop comparing and just work on the sewing?" Miranda says with meek authority and everyone goes about with their sewing. One does the main seams on the machine, another thread marks hem lengths, and others work on button holes and buttons at the neckline. It's an assembly line of work as they all make small talk, and for Rilla numerous bathroom breaks as she basted on collars.
"Was it everything you thought it would be? Your wedding night?" Betty whispers leaning in closer to Rilla, who looks up bright red.
"Is it like what they say?" Alice adds on curiously. "Does it actually hurt?"
"Does it look as funny as I think it does?" Majorie asks with a giggle.
"I mean?" Rilla blushes. "It wasn't really our wedding night? It was just…a moment we had together?"
"Still, they make it sound so boring and boorish," Alice whispers. "It has to be a bit more exciting than our mothers make it sound it?"
"Why would it mean anything to her? Not like he got the prize of a virgin bride" Irene says from her spot smugly.
"Of course Rilla was," Betty contradicts Irene.
"Really Betty, she was already torn…damaged beyond repair that he married her out of pity," Irene says matter of factly. "I am sure he'll make sure he won't come home because he's embarrassed himself, or wish when she fell down the stairs she did worse to herself."
"Get out," Rilla says blindly, anger and anguish flowing through her veins. Torn… she had already been torn…the awful moment, when pain radiated as the one forced himself into her…until he was crammed inside of her….using her own blood as leverage to move…
She was going to throw up….she was going to throw up. Where was Mary Vance when you needed her to stand up to Irene Howard?
"Irene!" Marjorie says out loud when she doesn't move
"Get out, you are cruel unkind, you know nothing!" Rilla cries, hands going for her baby. Their sweet miracle, swallowing deeply to not throw up. "I have never wished anyone harm or death before, Hades in hell, I wouldn't even wish those men on you because that would be unthinkable, but get out, you are not welcome here ever again," Rilla shouts at her.
"What in the world is going on," her Father comes out of his study, and Rilla is already upheaving, and hyperventilating, the front door is slamming and Minnie is looking just as bewildered while holding a fresh pot of tea.
"Deep breaths," he says to her, catching her sick in the nearby wastebasket.
"Ladies, what is going on?" Looking at the younger girls, "I did not talk you mothers down off the ledge, and assure them that everything would be fine and Ingleside was perfectly safe and things have settled down and that hosting some sewing for the war would be perfectly acceptable and respectable in all areas, only to have a screaming quarrel about heaven knows about!" Father's voice boomed.
"Irene said something horrid, Mr. Blythe," Marjorie says quietly. "We were just talking, asking questions out of curiosity…and since she can't too see anyone happy but herself, she told Rilla that Ken would rather die out on the frontline, than be married to…essentially well to say it nicer than Irene,…and not that we think Rilla is…"
"What did she say?" Father reiterates wanting the truth.
"She said that Ken probably hopes he dies in the war because Rilla is damaged goods," Miranda said quietly.
Rilla could see her Father groan.
"I think you should all call it a day," he tells them. "Rilla will most likely want to rest the rest of the afternoon."
They all nod their head. "We'll clean up and then head out, we're sorry about this Mr. Blythe. We didn't think Irene would cause so much trouble, but if we didn't invite her…well our mothers wouldn't hear the end of it."
"I'll make it known that it wasn't your decision," Father tells them, before turning towards Rilla sitting hopelessly in a chair, tears still streaming down her face.
"The mail came, you have a letter and you know alone that whatever she said isn't true," Father says gently to her.
Rilla Ford,
Ingleside, Morgan Rd
Glen St Mary, PEI
Canada
January 2nd 1916
Rilla-my-Rilla,
I love you, more than words can even describe at times. You drive me crazy in ways you will never understand.
I don't think you understand how your words affect me.
Of course, I cannot help but think about you that night, your lithe body and your millions of freckles. I wish I could say more, I wish you would let me read more, but truly. Rilla, my comrades tease me mercifully already, and I do not wish to alarm you that sometimes letters are misplaced and given to the wrong soldier.
This one… this one somehow landed on my commander's desk. He started to actually read it, his name is Kenneth as well, he was utterly confused until he looked at the envelope and profusely apologized, but still clapped my shoulder and said I must have a pretty little wife and I showed him your photo.
I told him you were expecting and he congratulation me—us on the joy of parenthood and said I would have to grow a beard to look old enough to be a father.
It is safe to say he teased me more about being a father and said he wanted photos of the kiddo for his wall. He takes photos and makes a wall of them, you know to help keep morale of us soldiers. We know who we are fighting for, but it's a whole lot more inspiring when you can see who everyone is fighting for.
Though Bleaker, another junior officer in my unit, teases me without mercy about you. He is about thirty and has a wife back home in London On and a few children as well. He's become a good comrade, you need those here even when it feels futile at times. Waking up in the middle of battles, seeing men beside you fall and you wonder what they did to deserve such a death when you are beside them standing or lying in the mud trying to survive.
I wonder when this will be over, when will I be home next to you.
I hope that you are still collecting the separation pay, I wish I could be there to help you pick out cradles and toys for the little one so that I could see you grow with each week. I stared at the silhouettes you sent me, how your stomach has grown, and rounded. It is absolutely beautiful Rilla. You are doing the most beautiful thing a woman can do in this world, and that is to give life, a life that is wanted and loved.
I promise to be as safe as possible, I will come home to you,
Love Kenneth
I hope everyone is enjoying this all still.
If you have a moment to leave a comment it is always appreciated and responded to!
Tina