Game of Thrones Tales: Lannister Family Values
Summary: In an alternative universe, King Robert calls on a different old friend and brother to assist him. But whose decency, kindness, and sense of honor, while a bit different from Ned Stark's are equally strong. But are the family values of House Addams a match for the ruthless Lannisters.
Part II…
A horn blast from giant ram's horn echoing though the Keep of Swampflood signaled to all the imminent arrival of the King and his party.
Another blast…The servants including Lurch pausing and frowning in their ways.
Yet another…The castle windows now trembling in their leaded panes.
"Mama!" Lady Morticia called up from the ground floor of the Keep toward the roof. "We've got the message, the King is here. There's no need to keep…"
Another blast of horn, longer and louder…Shattering a few panes this time, one servant collapsing, holding his ears.
"Now, Mama…!" Lord Gomez, having entered from the courtyard after the second blast, called. "I'm sure the King appreciates your desire to herald his coming but…"
Longest blast of all, a true shock wave…Panes shattering, more servants collapsing, a number of portraits and tapestries falling to the ground.
"Uuuuhhhhhh…" Lurch, shaking head.
"Gomez, darling, you'll have to go up…" Morticia noted. "And best to do it while she's recovering her breath."
"Assuming of course she hasn't passed out from that last one…That was a whopper." Gomez, cheerily, heading quickly for the stone stairs and hurrying up.
"Ah, Mama…" he addressed the gasping old woman standing on the rooftop observation platform by the giant warning horn. "Well done, indeed! But I think you'd best cease and desist before we have no castle to welcome the King and company with."
Huumph…The old white-haired woman in dark gown, bestrune with weeds from the Great Swamp, frowned at him. "When I was a girl I brought down castle walls with one blast of your grandfather's horn."
"So you did…Though bit of a problem it generally being the walls of our allies and friends…And our own." Gomez noted. "But judging by the effect of that last blast, I'd say your lung capacity has held up well over the years."
"I'm not the girl I was…" she sighed ruefully.
"Well, Mama…None of us are…" Gomez noted, sympathetically. "And I have the sketches of me in dresses to prove it."
"I loved you in long curls…" she sighed fondly.
"As did I…" Gomez nodded. "But, times change, years pass, and so should we."
"Well, you know I can wield sword with the best of them…" she insisted. "I should apply to the King for a position in the Kingsguard. You have influence with him, Gomez. Tell him I'm still the girl who cleaved the Canyon of Storming Rage, Ser Gregory, in two at the Battle of…Ummn…Well, whatever battle it was…"
"Now, Mama…" Gomez patted her arm. "I don't doubt you could still cleave a man thrice your size in twain but what would we do without you here? The children would be heartbroken…Tish and I'd be lost without you."
"In other words…" she eyed him shrewdly. "I'm old and useless and fit only to tend the fires and tell stories and knit."
"Mama…" Gomez sighed.
"It's true…When was the last time I got to cut a man down and wade through his bloody entrails…?" she noted.
"But Mama, there's been peace in the Kingdom for seventeen years. Frankly, I think you'd find it dull in the Kingsguard. No one's attempted a coup since the Greatjerks of the Tin Islands attempted a rebellion during the war. I hear all Jamie Lannister, the Kingslayer himself, gets to do these days is stand outside Robert's door and occasionally massage his feet after a long session of whoring and feasting."
"Well, maybe there's another post I could take up…" Lady Addams, raising eyebrows shrewdly.
"Mama…That would be assassination. Robert could never deal with your raw passion." Gomez grinned.
"I was rather…Passionate…In my day." She nodded.
"Indeed…The most passionate woman in the Seven Kingdoms…And you still are." He beamed.
"Well, then…Put in my application for chief courtesan, then." She urged.
"Mama…"
"Gomez…I was defeating armies with your father when you were still…Well…" she pointed at her tummy.
"So you were…The Warrior Queen of the Addams clan."
"And as for 'passion'…They may say King Robert has his share of extramarital offspring but…"
"Mama…?" shocked tone.
"Oh, come now. Even that dullard Ned Stark fathered one during the war. Your father and I were madly in love but we were often separated for years. It never bothered us, we kept a running tally." Grin. "I was ahead by two when our war ended and we were at last together…"
"Hmmn. I always knew Father was the progressive sort but…Well…" he reflected.
"Well, then…?" she insisted.
"How about this?" he suggested. "There's nothing much going on in Kings' Landing…Robert's got everything under control and alls quiet. The real action's up here, in the North. You know what poor ole Ned Stark used to say…"
"Lord…" she frowned. "I loved him and I know he was your other best friend and brother, but he was the dullest boy I ever knew…Always going on with the obvious. 'Winter is coming'…Well of course it is. But what was he doing about it? Nothing. And murdering children is dishonorable, certainly…If they can't hold a sword…But did he do anything about it? No."
"Now, Mama…Ned always meant well."
"Road to hell, good intentions pavement…" she frowned. "But what were you suggesting…?"
"I was hoping…You'd take command of my guard, here, at Swampflood. Mama, I hate to break the news this way, but Jon Arryn, the Hand and my brother-in-law…Is dead, possibly murdered, according to Ophelia."
"Jon Arryn…" gasp… "No…"
"Oh…Dear Mama…" he put hand on her shoulder. "I'd forgotten. You rather had a thing for him, yourself once…Didn't you?"
"More like an illicit and passionate love affair…" she noted.
"Mama…?"
"Well, he's dead…It can't hurt Ophelia now. Besides it was before she married him. Hmmn…" narrow look. "She told you he was murdered?"
"By raven message, just now, yes."
"I'd check to see where she was when he died."
"Mama? You know Fester said the same thing. I always she loved him…They seemed such a happy couple."
"At a separation of 500 miles, maybe anyone seem a happy couple. Still, if she told you…" shrug.
"I suspect there may be trouble brewing at Kings' Landing despite the calm and secure grip on power Robert has wielded. Mama, I think he may mean to ask me to take Jon's place as Hand."
"Well, I'm ready. Get me my sword. We march at dawn on Kings' Landing. Death to all traitors!" she beamed, eyes gleaming as she rose.
"Mama, I want you to command my guard here, while I'm away. Pugsly will stay so there'll be a Lord Addams in Swampflood, with Morticia and my new wards, the Stark boys and Fearing Greatjerk, Ned's ole captive and ward. But the boy's not experienced and Morticia's never had that taste for blood-soaked swordplay you have. I need you, Mama…The family needs you."
"Sounds like a put-off to me, Gomez." She frowned. "I'd really be in command of the guard?"
"Absolutely. In fact I'd appreciate it if you put on a display for the King…There's no one I trust more to handle my people than you, Mama. Give him a thrill he hasn't seen since he hacked his way through the Targaryen army at the Trident and bathed in blood, several times."
"I suppose I could put on a good show still…But those young bucks and buckettes of yours will need some training." She noted carefully.
"Start right now…Whip them into shape, Mama. For the honor of the Addams crest." Gomez beamed.
"Sorry but you were in my way!...Our words." She noted proudly, gleam in eye. "All right son, I'll mold those weaklings into a force that could kill its way round the world."
"Excellent…"
"Oh…" she gave nervous look. "About that passionate affair with Jonny Arryn…That is one I prefer not to get out, for Ophelia's sake."
"Our little secret…I suppose Father…?"
"Oh, that was after your father passed away…In fact, to be honest...It was rather…Recent." Shrewd look.