Game of Thrones Tales: Lannister Family Values
Summary: In an alternative universe, King Robert calls on a different old friend and brother to assist him. But whose decency, kindness, and sense of honor, while a bit different from Ned Stark's are equally strong. But are the family values of House Addams a match for the ruthless Lannisters?
Part LXXXIV…
Middlefinger in tent, solus…
"Word comes from the Vale…Actually more like a desperate scream for help from by my …errgh… 'beloved' Ophelia Arryn and her twisted degenerate of a son…That the King's emissaries, Ser Fester Addams and Maester Puerile, have succeeded in 'restoring order' i.e., taken over the place. And of course taken her and the boy."
"Would I say 'bad news' for me? Not exactly given it rids me of an encumbrance, nay, really a tumor on my lung, a boil on my backside, a nasty mole on my neck…"
Dude…Cold…Verysmuch…From his office lair…We knew you weren't exactly sincere in your affections but…
"Hey, if it must be said I am not a flattering honest man, or boyfriend…It must not be denied that I'm a plain, double-dealing, kinda cruel, villain/fiancée."
Ooook…Verysmuch shrugging. But thank God I've no female relation in your sights.
"C'mon, be fair…" Middlefinger, frowning… "The girl's a murderess and liar, not to mention a twisted psycho of a mother. And I didn't dispose of the problem the 'toss it, forget it' way, littering the Vale. If she isn't sent to the chopping block as being Addams' sister-in-law, she'll be put where the sun don't shine. I'll be waiting for her…Given it'll be to wear black at her funeral as likely the only attendant. And, hey, you plan a little mayhem for the kingdom if your 'Targaryen revival' works out."
Price you pay for the greater good, bro…
"Well, I'm planning to recreate the Valyrian Empire on a global scale, surely that's a 'greater good' than restoring that family of inbred psychos to power?"
Hey…
"Sorry, but you know it's true. Now I may have my faults, but I mean to rule for the good of all, just me first."
We shall see. Verysmuch, nodding mysteriously and fading out.
"I hate when he does that telepathically…" Middlefinger sighs. "It's not just creepy, but it makes one wonder what he has up his sleeve. Well, no matter…The little Targaryen remains under the lock and key of my partner in imperial crime, Taro Trumpo Don. Not that I trust the guy for the gods' sake. But we have a mutual need, mutual ambition…And I have well-placed spies, including my favorite cloned human, Rachel of Duncan, interwoven among his staff."
Hands together, forming temple, cool smile… "So, soon, thanks to my soon-to-be-disposable friend Taro, and my poor, fatally ill, Rachel and her sisters, I'll not only have a dragon air power, but a whole clone army of blonde Targaryen fireproof babes at my beck and call. Let King Rob try that one on for size…Whatever new weapons Addams may have provided before his upcoming unfortunate demise. The future Belloq I is no slouch when it comes to high tech."
Beaming… "Come on, you gotta admit this is pretty neat plotting. Helps to be a great playwright when you're scheming to conquer the world."
A rap at the tent door…
Uh…Later…He eyes us…
"Come." Pleasantly. An attendant of Lord Addams enters…A young page in the Addams colors of black on black…
Hmmn, Middlefinger observing…Might not be bad for some of my chunkier whores, he noted to himself.
Definitely slimming…
"Lord Belloq? Lord Addams' compliments…" the page bowed.
"And mine to him, sincerely, kid…So? What news from my Lord Hand?"
"Lord Addams wishes you to know that he…"
"…Is ready to begin packing up for the push on to the Great Wall?" smugly.
"Well, not exactly, my Lord…Lord and Lady Addams have left in the night for the Wall. He wanted to let you know and that your orders are to continue surveying the area here for potential coal deposits."
"What?" stare. "They've left, without me? Why the devils…Our version…Would he do that?"
"Something about 'non-essential personnel' I believe, my Lord. Also, there was an assassination attempt on him and his wife and he did feel it best to press on at once to avoid more such, for his wife's safety…With warning to you, my Lord, of course. Part of his Guard are left, at your disposal, to see to your safety at all times, sir."
Well, that's very sweet…I guess…Can be a rough place out here, the Midlands. And nice to know Gomez's bodyguards are halved.
"I shall be off to join him shortly, my Lord. Any message?"
"Oh…Just that I hope he enjoys the Wall and a safe trip. I'll send him my report when we complete the survey." Nod.
Hey, efficient public servant here…Regardless of my schemes, I'm a professional.
Wait…What was that "non-essential personnel" thing?
"Very good, my Lord." Bowing, the attendant left.
"Hmnn. I had hoped to have another shot at Addams before he left. This is a bit disappointing. Still…He doesn't yet suspect me…Hopefully. And one can die at the Great Wall or Far North in any number of ways. Cold, illness, starvation, starvation in the cold, fire (fire safety at the Wall is not what it should be, really.), mammoth attack, giant attack, disgruntled ex-criminal turned Watchman attack, wildling attack, cold or starvation or illness after attack above, sudden heart attack, old age, bad food, they say white walker attack but that sounds like silly conspiracy crap to me, various other normal animal attack, hunting accident, climbing accident, weird magic attack. Hell, you can slip in the bathhouse and break your neck, like anywhere with a bathhouse.. Especially when one has operatives eager to help in that."
Het hum…Verysmuch…
"Oh, am I doing it again?" Middlefinger, sighing.
I'd watch it, bro…Verysmuch projects. But actually I was wondering about the clone army thing?
"Oh, no…That's my scheme." Middlefinger, shaking head. "That I keep close to chest."
Ok…But if Taro TD controls the Barth Targaryen girl clone army…? Verysmuch, questioning projection.
"Let me worry about that…Heh, heh, heh."
Well…
"Well, yeah, I guess you would have to worry about it too, the girl being your chief piece. Ha, ha, hah…"
Is she? Verysmuch, smiling. Fading out …
I really hate when he does that…Middlefinger, inwardly. Really kind of unfair general thing, whereas all my threatening schemes are specific and well-outlined, even if I keep back some details.
Well, best to get in some shut-eye. Survey to complete, plots to spin and carry-on, people to have killed…Oh, plus I gotta check on my "partners", that psycho Joffrey and that poor addled Sansa, my lucky future bride. Almost time I betrayed him to the King…
What? I'm not better husband material for her than Joffrey? Eyes us.
Lets get real.
…
Stormin' Out…
Tent of Prince Rently and Princess Margery Barftheron…
"So, Rob is ok with my new alliance?" Rently eyed Brienne, standing at attention before him in her armor, then Margery as they sat in their portable thrones. A private dinner being laid out by attendants to Brienne's ill-concealed discomfort.
But Duty is Duty…She thought, sighing inwardly.
Margery eyeing sympathetically…
We gotta find her a good guy, poor kid. There must be some nice fellow would like a wife with some lands, cash, and a title who can kill her way singlehandedly through a small army.
Perhaps a few lessons from me in makeup and the loan of a nice gown…Hafta get one extended about a foot…
"The King indicated that he was pleased, indeed my lord." Brienne nodding. "An excellent diplomatic move, he said. The Queen as well."
"Well, that's good, I guess." Rently nodded. "Everything else good with Bob? He and Cersei seem to be getting on amazingly these days."
"Indeed, my Prince…It's the talk of the Kingdom, I hear. Since Lord Addams came to Kings Landing."
"That's wonderful…" Margery beamed. "I love hearing of a couple reconciled."
"Yeah." Brienne dryly, eyeing her.
"I'm glad for Bob…And Cerse, though she was a bitch to live with for years. I guess a lot of that was Bob and things. Well, good for them. Hope they're as happy as…"
Don't say it…Brienne, sighing inwardly. Break, heart…Break!
Margery coughing slightly.
"…Our parents, were." Rently catching hint and deftly correcting.
What do you know, we are starting to really synch…He thought, eyeing her slight smile as Brienne, obviously relieved, nodded.
"May it be so, my Prince. All stations report secure but with your permission I'll make the rounds again." She, waiting.
"Certainly, but don't stay up too long." Rently, kindly. "We need Our Kingsguard Captain alert and sharp in the morning."
"Yes, my Prince. Good night, your Highness." Brienne, nodding to both.
"Good night, Captain…And thank you." Margery beamed.
I hate her, I hate her!…I know I shouldn't, she's honestly sweet…And I'll give my life for her defense as my Queen to be. But I hate her! Brienne, turning, then leaving tent.
"Stand at attention, Guard!" she growled as she passed a guard on duty.
"Yes, ma'am." Guard stiffening.
"Well, seems we're in Bob's good graces, for now." Rently noted to Margery. "How long that'll last…"
"I think so long as we show we're content with the current situation, things should be fine, my dearest." Margery patted his arm. He nodded but shrugged.
"I was kinda hoping to be offering you more, you know." Rently sighed ruefully. "I hope you're not disappointed if things take awhile?"
"Darling, I'm a royal princess, thanks to you." Beam. "And I have the sweetest husband in Westeros. I'm good. Plus…Much as I love my dad…" she sighed. "A true relief to get away from him, believe me."
"I can imagine," Rently nodded. "Oooh, codfish." He eyed the plate being set down and uncovered. "I tell you, dear. Nothing like fresh Stormin' Out cod."
She giggled…As the servant hastily left…Looking a bit red.
Hmmn? He stared.
"I was just thinking..." Margery grinned. "How much I'd like some Stormin' Out cod…Tonight."
"Margery…You are…Indescribably wonderful." Rently beamed, kissing her, she embracing him.
…
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