"I paint the ceiling black so I don't notice when my eyes are open."

Claw Machine

Sloppy Jane, Phoebe Bridgers

Detention wasn't the punishment, but the migraine was.

"Why are you in my room?" Megumi the grouch tiredly demanded from his bed, but I only groaned from my spot on the tatami mat I had stowed in his room earlier. His words were driving knives into my skull from all directions, pushing in slowly, firmly so that I could feel each grating edge. "Soru-san—"

"My head feels like an alien laid an egg in it and I don't want to be alone." I grumbled out with only an ounce of shame to be found, it's not like this wasn't normal for me, to be in his room. The girls dormitories were so quiet and so void of life sometimes that even Megumi's dead personality beat being alone in there.

Megumi let out a breath and put his feet on the floor opposite of the side that I occupied. He carefully slipped on his slippers while a random Warbler made its song outside his window. He hadn't mentioned anything about the mission yet even though it had been a day since we had returned to the school. After I had passed out from exhaustion, he carried me to the hotel, where we slept, cleaned up and left on the next train to Tokyo.

"...wanna help me plant the snap dragons and tulips this week?" My words drove the knives further into my brain, but the silence was killing me with hands woven around my airways slowly squeezing with a fierce grip. It was a choice of pain and I took the knives. He didn't responded, I knew he wouldn't, but someone needed to fill the empty space around us. "I have to do the tulips first before the last freeze, the bulbs are pretty important to get right. Five inches apart is the perfect number, with six inches in the ground." I continued to recite my knowledge to the ceiling, ignoring the way my brain wanted to forcibly crush itself into a smoothie. "The snapdragons will bloom after the tulips, so that'll be a nice transition... what do you think?"

"...did you say something?" Came the tired voice from above me and I ignored the new knife shoved into my heart. I bit my cheek to prevent the sudden wave of hurt that washed through me, my chest shook, and I took a breath into my nose to try and regain a less emotional reaction. "Oh no." I didn't get a chance to respond, didn't really want to, before he groaned out a low vibrato that shook my brain in mindful agony.

"What?" I whispered out as I eased myself up into a sitting position to look at the back of his head through squinted eyes, but I didn't need an answer as boisterous footsteps accompanied loud gasps of excitement throughout the dormitory. "Oh... oh no that sucks."

The noise sent painful waves through me, but I forced one arm onto the blue bed spread and then the other, slowly pulling my still shaking body up onto the bed with a loud groan while Megumi took the steps to slam open his door to confirm visually what we had both heard. I laid down on the bland comforter that matched Megumi's personality and relaxed into the mattress, but when I opened my eyes a pink haired teen was blinking at me through the doorway.

"Woah!" He spluttered with a growing red face at my appearance. My pink and white shorts and matching tank top, a pair of pink shoes at the door, my slippers discarded by the bed. I snickered at the insinuation of the environment before him. "I-I didn't know you two were—"

"Don't be stupid." Megumi snapped while shutting the door on the teen's skull, a pain I truly identified with in that moment and winced at the noise in sync with the victim's own flinch. My head felt the same way and my body ached from my numbed toes to my the tips of my fingers that shook when I lifted them up.

"Oh, Hafu-chan~?" The song like voice came from the head that peered through the doorway and my sensei smiled at me from the entrance. "Perfect! Come here, I have something to tell you three."

"But... I can hear you from here." I pleaded lowly, hoping he could see the pain I was in.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me, I said," His voice got louder and my skull pounded dangerously from the inside out while I hurriedly shot out of the bed and slipped the slippers on to keep the man from shouting any further. My body shook with each step and reminded me of my mistakes as they shot up like lightning strikes up my legs.

I wanted to throw up as I stood next to Megumi and leaned against the cool wood of the wall beside me. Three students to become four tomorrow and my teeth grit at the announcing before Gojo-sensei walked away with a sharp whistling tune that sent bullets down the back of my brain. A waste of energy, time, movement that had done more damage and reset my healing by a few hours at least.

"Errr, I don't think we've actually met." I turned to the blushing boy who scratched the back of his head sheepishly and eyed the smile on his face. "Well...properly. I am Itadori Yugi, it's nice to meet you!"

"Ah, I'm Jun Solberg." The introduction came through gritted teeth in a clipped tone that I usually saved for those not worth my time, but today not many people fit into the other category as I waved to the new kid. "Welcome, I guess."

"Woah, are you a foreigner?" He asked the obvious with the same awe that I always got, as if I was a specimen, although the flavor of awe varied from disgust to excitement. His was the latter and I wasn't sure if I liked that or not about him. He seemed innocent to a fault, kind and a little too forgiving to get so close to someone who had almost killed him less than 48 hours ago.

"Yep." I smiled the fakest I have ever smiled and I swore Megumi let out a humored breath through his nose, but his face betrayed nothing other than irate. My hands were shaking next to me and my head was no longer filled with knives but sharp needles, like the ones they used for blood transfusions or spinal cord fluid. Those giant ones that painfully demanded all of your attention and they were driving into my skull, forcing my head to teeter off the pain into an almost numbing effect.

"I never did that well on my English classes." Itadori admitted with a bashful grin and I had to hold off on my eye twitch which wasn't too hard as they kept trying to close off the loud light around me. "But I've always wanted to go to America!"

"I'm part Norwegian. Not English or American." I interrupted with a rub to my forehead to try to keep the migraine from blotting over my vision. Sensei sure plans his punishments out accordingly with a toxic amount of sadism. "Just... call me Soru or just Jun please." After all, people could rarely say my last name and, statistically speaking, one of us was going to die before 18 so might as well jump the awkward honorific phase.

But I wasn't going to say that.

"Right!" He might as well shouted in excitement while his eyes darted near crazily between us with what I assumed must have been the reaction of someone who didn't have very many friends. "So, you guys can control dogs and plants? That's crazy!"

I turned to Megumi with flatness and forced eye contact with his own pain filled eyes. But my pain was real, his was internal, metaphorical even, so I had no problem with throwing the boy that I had healed to the one I almost killed.

"I'm in too much pain for this. You can deal with him, I'm going back to sleep."

"Soru—!" Megumi groaned lowly but I was already back in his room. "Stay off my bed!"

The mattress groaned under my weight and with what little happiness I had, I allowed myself to fully become a gelatinous entity under the blue covers and grey sheets. They cooled by skin and relaxed my sore muscles, stealing the pain from me in an almost magical way and they carefully guided me into an exhausted rest where dreams couldn't even reach.

"Thank god you're a girl."

I must have appeared crazy with the way I had grabbed Nobara's shoulders with very minimal introduction and whispered my praise psychotically in front of my sensei and two male classmates. My sanity had been slipping with the quietness of the dorms and even though Maki lived there with me, she was gone more often than not from what should have been a sanctuary. So yes, I did hug someone without their permission and yes it was totally worth being sent tumbling down to the feet of my male classmates.

"This is what I have to work with?" Nobara's eyes trailed the tree of us as I stared up at the girl like a girl to an idol, as if she were the answer to all my prayers while I pulled myself to a seated position to witness my goddess. "I'm in love." I whispered to myself, Megumi and Yugi started at the expression and even Gojo-sensei reeled with a hand up at the statement.

But the shock soon wore off into exasperation of my own as sensei announced our trip to Tokyo with the tone of show host announcing our prize. So while the more excited of the group boasted about the prospect of excitement, Megumi and I stared pensively at the two country folks worshiping Gojo. The worship quickly crumbled and I yanked myself up using Megumi's arm. He nearly fell with the sudden movement, looked at me angrily, but didn't say anything more.

"...he's enjoying that too much." I stated to Megumi under my breath who allowed himself a snort in agreement while putting his attention back onto the dancing classmates. "Wait until they realize what a mission in Tokyo means."

"Hey, Jun-chan—" Yuji easily ignored my correction of its just Jun, Yuji as if I said nothing at all. "—aren't you excited about Roppongi?!" Yugi bounced next to me as we made the walk to the station. Gojo-sensei led the way with arms swaying naturally, a tune that I didn't recognize coming from him. Megumi trailed behind me and Nobara was ever so slightly off the line Yuji and I created on the sidewalk. "You don't seem like you're excited, are you from Tokyo?"

The attention on me made my spine straighten as I dodged a man late for work. My school uniform was a dress of that same name dark color that served as an overall for a puffy white sleeved under sheath, swirly button on either strap with white long socks and Mary Jane's. I may distaste the outfit I wore, pink was apparently not a suitable color for a request - but red was? - but I still felt that I truly deserved the gazes of my newest companions. Let them understand who I was, my greatness and beauty was there to bless them after all.

"I'm from Tokyo." I confirmed as the country dweller gasped in excitement. His glee was sickening, but his eyes on me and his mind on me gave me life. My lips curled at either side and my steps became nearly a skip. The idolship because of my status as a city dweller outranked his lowly countryman status and I cherished the feeling of someone acknowledging my greatness, my beauty, my—!

"She's from Sanya."

Megumi busted my bubble without a care in the world and with only three simple words at that. Immediately Yugi's worship warped into the face of knowing and then settled into a familiar face of out as if I was the rat amongst us. We dodged a giggling couple in the crowded street and I took a glimpse at their expressions with an unease.

The shame that showered over me only intensified at our sensei's laughter. It was the only sound that shattered the uncomfortable silence that had surrounded us since the dry and rude outburst from Megumi. Rage mixed with humiliation like a tsunami in a cocktail glass, and I found myself drifting to the back of the group while Yugi tried to fix the silence with a conversation. A calculated conversation that ignored me and the disappointment that my upbringing came from.

"Man, I gotta admit, I didn't expect Megumi to say that." Gojo chuckled from beside me as he too dropped back to rub the experience into my face even more. My eyes locked forward onto whatever it could to ignore the annoying God-like man beside me. "That must have hurt."

"Yes, not all of us are of a big wealthy clan, sensei." I bit out tiredly as if my words could be spiked like how the anger I felt in my stomach was.

"Excuses, excuses." Gojo chuckled with his fists in his pocket, walking like there was nothing in the world that could hurt him. And there truly wasn't and he proved that by walking through the plants that grew rabidly before him. Each leaf head reached out to him, only to curve within an inch's reach. "Oooo, that's a new one." He teased as he eyed the large head-sized leaf before him. "Which one is this?" The others continued walking as if they nothing had happened and I didn't worry about losing them.

"...Dendrocnide moroides." I provided with a grumble, my hands dismissing the growth behind us with an upside down heart to my chest. "Australian stinging bush that delivers a potent neurotoxin to the brain." There was a sharp ow behind us.

"Deadly?"

"...months of excruciating pain can come from a single sting."

"Awesome." Gojo grinned as the leaves browned behind us and turned into glimmering pink dust that dissolved in the air into harmless nothingness. We pretended that the man speed walking away while shaking his hand like it burned him wasn't my fault. "Maybe next time, Hafu-chan."

"I hate you." I swatted the hand that purposely tousled my hair out of the pink ribbon that I had braided and bowed so perfectly this morning. "Sensei...!"

The only sense of satisfaction I got after that humiliation was the faces of Yuji and Nobara when they realized that the location we were going to was not a vacation spot. The slack jawed and devastation in their eyes were truly a treat as I made Megumi hold up my phone while I braided my hair back into perfection in its camera. My hand quickly grabbed Megumi's wrist and guided it to the two, snapping a photo in a second before turning it back to me.

"Seriously?" Megumi asked quietly, annoyance not hidden but he still kept his arm up like a good mirror holder while I fixed some pins into the braid to keep the pleats from falling out with the silky ribbon I had bought years ago. I ignored the chatter on the building and followed my sensei and classmate to the fence line where I snapped a selfie with a soft smile.

"I think this one looks better than the first one." I appreciated my good work as I sat down next to Megumi with a smile of my own. My back laid against the fence behind me as I aimed my phone at the building and took a photo. "Before I forget and Yuji goes destroying the place." I shook the phone cheekily to the two others.

"I think I'll go in too." Megumi ignored my tease and shoved my the phone away from his face to look up at the building like he could see the two inside. "Someone needs to watch out for Itadori." I couldn't figure out if he meant Itadori need protection or if it was to protect from Itadori.

"The kid has a walking nuke inside of home." I chimed in dryly with a roll of my eyes and sent the selfie to Maki who sent one back immediately. Lucky her, she was with a deer in Nara, a knowing smirk on her face and fingers in a peace sign. "If anything we should be watching out in case he does something stupid."

"You'd both right." Gojo agreed with a smile of his own and I couldn't help with the preen of my shoulders at the compliment. The man may piss me off to the corners of the world, but I have no shame in admitting my hero worship still applied. "But it's not him we're testing. It's Nobara."

"..." Megumi and I both looked up towards the building at the sudden crash and inevitable collapsing a few bricks. There was a mild annoyance and something else mixed in with the knowledge that the two were dealing with a city curse alone for the first time. I sniffed and I could smell a gas line leak in the air from the building - I said nothing.

"Yuji definitely has a few screws list." Sensei piped in with a knowing smile and a touch to his temple. "He has no fear over disgustingly vile creatures that many experienced sorcerers second guess. And he doesn't have near as much experience as the two of you."

"Would be nice if we didn't." I replied lowly under my breath and even though both Gojo-sensei and Megumi heard me, they both decided to not respond. I let out a tsk at lack of response and took out my nail kit from my satchel to trim away some cuticles while we waited. Too bad I didn't bring my polish with me, the paint was chipping lightly at the edges of my right hand b

"The kid definitely is on the same level of crazy as Hafu-chan."

"Excuse you!" I snapped and pointed my non threatening sparkly pink clippers at the culprit which ended up being right in front of Megumi's disgusted face as he shoved my hand and took away from him with the aggression of a bull.

"But this is to see if she's crazy enough."

There was a level of insanity to sorcery. Gojo-sensei was right, not that I liked to admit it, but it was something so many other sorcerers tried to gloss over in life. To be able to deal with the terror, the fear, the greed, and the evil that was the cursed world you had to know what it was like to feel cursed. Cursed energy was a negative flow that's birthed from our fear and disgust, if you don't embrace it, you can't use it.

If you can't learn to live with evil, you can't be a sorcerer.

"...a hundred yen that Yuji bursts through a wall." I broke the silence with a sigh while I neatly arranged my nail care kit back into its original design. "That's a fools bet." Megumi was the one who spoke up, albeit lowly and sensei and I covered our mouths in sync to hide the snickers that threaten to explode into boisterous laughter. "Idiots."

"So why are you here?"

Her question was valid, even though the obvious judgement in her tone should have angered me. But I was a whore for attention and even accusations happily fed me into a sense of self righteousness and elation. Finally, a question that I could answer with pride and maybe earn back those eyes that look at me like I was on a pedestal.

"Oh right, I forgot about you Hafu-chan~!" The crude statement sent me faltering forward into a depression while our sensei grinned happily beside me as if nothing was wrong. His hand patted my hair out of its ribbon once again to add further salt into my wounds and I watched defeated as Bobby pins fell to the dirt before me. "Clean up song?"

"No!" Megumi's voice lower melody melded into my own to sharply prevent any embarrassment towards either of us and I was already looking at the photos I took of the building while sensei explained for me.

"Eh? What's Jun-chan doing?" Yuji inquired and I responded with a quick it's just Jun! But he only blinked at me as if the words literally went through one ear and out the other.

"Clean up." Gojo-sensei explained helpfully while gesturing to the large hole caused by the curses and one very own Yuji Itadori, public menace number one. "Imagine waking up one day to a building just damaged... ton of concern would be raised which is why it's important to have a clean up plan!"

"Usually it's... someone else's job to worry about the clean up." Megumi continued to the other two as they watched me disappear into the building. "Usually it's covered up as something like a natural disaster, faulty construction, or even a terrorist attack. Whatever makes the least amount of news in the morning."

"But you guys just happen to be so lucky to have a clean up sorcerer in your class!" Their sensei exclaimed happily as he wrapped an arm around Itadori's shoulders and pointed to the building. Megumi rolled his eyes with a murmured, she hated being called that, but was blissfully ignored by the white haired man.

I took in a deep breath as the building moaned around me from the sudden destruction. The structure was ready to fall, to let go, and I could almost sympathize with its desire to just give in to the pressure of gravity and cease to exist as it once was. In its time it had been a beautiful structure judging by its careful masonry and inside work, although the electrics wasn't quite where it should have, but had been forgotten by the very humans who created it.

Was it something it did or was it someone else's fault? Was it the faulty gas line that was incorrectly installed, its pipe crooked from stress and finally freed from its caged hell because of Yuji's dynamic entry? Hardly could fault the building even as a ceiling tile dropped beside me. Perhaps an office building or a doctors office, no not a doctors office, but maybe an accounting firm. It smelled musty and old, dirty, but I still walked in further and carefully sat centered in the room with eyes closed and hands in front of me with finger tips touching as I whispered out into the emptiness a simple word to fix everything.

"Restore."

A/N: whatcha think? I'm a whore for reviews