Long, bloody chapter. Literally.
It was possible that what Yamazaki had done was cruel. No, not the sex, although that was nice. Rather, he had neglected to tell Rock where they were. The kid had never actually asked for location specifics which was good because it would be difficult to tell him that they were in Geese Tower. Yamazaki dared not to think of his reaction while he stood here, watching him sleep soundly. His eyes were red and puffy from residue tears, but he looked content despite the IV drop and the nasal cannula.
Thankful to be alive, thankful to be safe. Not ruined by a nightmare.
He hadn't actually gotten any of those since he came to Kim. Good. He deserved that at least. Yamazaki wondered if there was some divine force that made him have all the bad fucking dreams instead. But for now, he'd let Rock Howard, his bedwarmer, fuck-buddy, and pet wolf and lover rest despite the urge to cradle him in a bed big enough for them both.
Yamazaki looked out the window at snow whirling around the city skyline like some madman's interpretive dancing. He sat on the edge of the bed and thought of ways how he could explain this. Suppose if Rock just got the brutal truth, it'd go down a little better on the palate. Considering he was found in the middle of nowhere within an abandoned factory in the countryside, he'd be dead if the regular EMTs were called, given their dilly-dallying.
Not to mention the police. On the other hand, Geese's medical team was far faster and more proficient. With the circumstances of their work, they had to be. They were the type of people to call if you had an emergency but no time. Give them directions, spare the chit chat and they'd be there.
As such, it had been described by Billy Kane once. Yamazaki had actually never used them, not even when it could be beneficial. Never mind the fact that they had no reason to come to him. He wasn't part of their posse; he hadn't sworn loyalty to Geese. He was only a paid ally when a dirty job needed to be done.
And Geese did owe him a favor for dealing with White on a rush job. Yamazaki hated rush jobs. That aside, he couldn't help but wonder if there was a part of the old cocksucker that actually cared about Rock and didn't hesitate to send his medical team out. Maybe there was credence to that as Freeman, the would-be murderer of his son, was locked at the bottom of the tower.
It'd be better to just kill the fucker but Geese was a man with an odd sense of justice. The type that would make Kim reel. No, instead of outright killing Freeman or dumping his ass at the police like a nice little present of flesh and blood, it was decided to keep him locked up until Rock decided what to do with him. What a weird thing that was.
What on earth did Geese think when deciding that? Was he hoping to tap into the bloodline predisposed to being murdering bastards? Or did he just hope to erase the wolf parts of Rock?
Stupid either way.
He'd be in for a surprise. No, Rock Howard was not a killer. Right now, he was fast asleep, probably all too sexed up to stay awake. He was lovely when he was like that. Nasal cannulas and IV drips included. It was admirable yet a little terrifying that an encounter with a stalkerish killer was the push that he needed. Not even a kink. Suppose when you were close to dying after fighting for your life, you'd get a rush, an urge to experience what you otherwise didn't dare before, fear and residue weariness be damned.
Because the terror still was there.
And some of it, for different reasons, sat and rested in the back of Yamazaki's mind. He looked out the window and couldn't shake off the hypothetical of finding a dead Rock with his corpse mutilated beyond recognition. Or, more likely, dying from either hypothermia or blood loss. He had lost so much blood. He was so cold and clammy to the touch.
At some point, he must have been submerged in water as his clothes were quite literally frozen when Yamazaki found him. When he had fallen asleep, the older man stood with the old fear of watching him die. The sight of him was haunting.
Freeman's letter had been dropped as promised but only coordinates had been written and the pieces of some fucked up puzzle began to fall into place when the ape of Muay Thai found Rock's bike discarded in a parking lot and returned it. Yamazaki had calculated the coordinates, found that dilapidated factory building in the middle of nowhere, and went in, guns blazing. The letter had been addressed to him so he didn't even think to involve Kim or Hon-Fu. This was his battle, fuck the rest.
Freeman should count his lucky stars that Yamazaki had been occupied and therefore not killed him.
Looking at the bed again and watching Rock sleep, Yamazaki came to understand that he was beginning to feel something for the kid in hindsight of him almost dying. Emotions that he hadn't felt since his teen years when he didn't build a fortress around his heart yet. Thanks to Rock, those feelings stirred and blossomed deep within. If someone had asked Yamazaki about it a month ago, he would have kicked them in the face out of pure hatred over such a brainless suggestion.
Now, he just solemnly accepted that he indeed had a heart still and he was capable of feeling. Well, truth be told, those feelings had been there for ages but he just accepted them fully now. It would be why he'd been satisfied at the chance to kill White – only for that to morph into an urge to kill Kain. If he could kill the people who lay a hand on Rock, he'd do that too. Yet he wondered if there was a way out from all of this, someplace far away to start over and just forget. The two of them.
Weird, such thoughts had never crossed Yamazaki's mind before.
Was this love? Yeah. It most really was. Shit. He could almost laugh at that and himself before there came a knock on the door. Instantly vigilant, he moved to the other side of the bed, creating sort of a barrier between the door that went open and Rock. A woman stepped in, a nurse judging from her uniform. She was an older tall woman, taller than Yamazaki. Broad-shouldered and muscular with a fuzzy chin.
"Good morning, sir! I'm Matilda, the designated nurse for the younger Mr. Howard. How is he?" she asked, raising her hand in a friendly wave as she came to Rock's bedside. She had a full, warm voice. Rich, deep, and boisterous but fully friendly. Hardly matching her prosaic introduction.
"Asleep," Yamazaki answered and wished the buffalo bitch would keep her voice down. He remained where he stood, even as she came to the bed with a trolly of sorts. There were a couple of syringes and injections in one of the drawers. Matilda must have noticed the stare because she looked up at him with a friendly smile while she prepared the first needle.
"Oh, these? A little bit of everything. I gotta take a blood test to make sure that he responded well to the treatments. As well as ensuring that his white and red blood cells are stabilizing. The stab wound was non-lethal and didn't even hit any major blood supplies or vital organs despite how deep it was. Whoever did it was very precise, so the issue was the bleeding," she explained and Yamazaki listened with half an ear.
He grumbled a bit, watching her fill two vials with blood for testing. "Uh-huh."
Ignorant to his blatant disinterest and discomfort that the stabbing of his favorite wolf was the subject of medical lessons, Matilda continued to open her merry mouth. She took Rock's other arm, maneuvered it around for a vein in his inner elbow, and cleaned the spot for the needle. "Unfortunately, they pulled the blade out. Which is a bad idea since the body will often clamp down around whatever has entered and that'll stop blood from just spilling out."
Yamazaki wished that he hadn't just realized and embraced his humanity so he could tell this old hag to stop lecturing him, a man with more stabbings than birthdays to his name, how goddamn knives worked, and how the handling of one almost killed Rock.
"Multiple stab wounds will kill someone very quickly simply from blood loss than internal damage," Matilda said after three injections and applying cotton pads to the needle wounds.
"Mm-hm."
While she fiddled with her equipment, checked the oxygen tank changed the IV bag, Rock slowly began to reanimate. Her eyes sparked with joy when she saw him awake. "Ah, well hello there, young man. Slept well?"
Hesitating with an answer, he shifted his weary gaze to Yamazaki, blushed a bit, and nodded. He flinched a bit when she reached her hands to his face and removed the tubes from his nostrils. "There! Figured it'd be time to remove this. Your vitals are getting better, but a little rest would do well though. Hungry? Thirsty?"
"No thank you," he shook his head and sat up, rubbing at his face and where the adhesive for the tubes had been. His skin wasn't so flushed anymore despite the state he'd been an hour or so earlier. Yamazaki almost felt bad for fucking him while he was hooked to oxygen but goddamn, he looked so perfect and wonderful and appetizing when he was laying there, begging and trying to be good. All red-faced and willing and ready.
Yamazaki zoned out a bit and tried not to let his mind go down certain routes before he tuned back into the middle of the conversation between the nurse and Rock.
"Where am I?" he asked and Matilda answered with; "Geese Tower. You were taken here half a week ago. But slept through most of it."
Rock immediately soured. He looked at Yamazaki briefly and then at the nurse, who stood ignorant of his obvious displeasure.
"So you work for that man…" he uttered and glared at her.
Matilda nodded and her smile faded just a bit. "Mr. Howard, yes. Initially, I was brought in to temporarily care for his wife, at the time acquaintance, after she sustained some serious injuries."
"What happened?"
The nurse shuffled a bit on her feet, somewhat uncomfortable. "That's not my story to tell. But I can say that she was very furious with Mr. Howard afterward. Took some time before she forgave him."
Rock's eyes grew wide with horror. "He-"
"No, he wasn't the one to hurt her. He didn't intend for it to happen at all. But due to mistakes made on his part, it happened. Poor girl was so badly wounded afterward."
That sounded about right. Geese Howard was a lot of things, but he was never the type of person to purposely bully women specifically. Sure, he'd fight them when they challenged him. He'd treat them with the same attitude as he'd would men but outside the realm of fighting, Yamazaki always sensed that the old man was peeved by women being hurt on account of the men who failed them. So why had he abounded Rock's mother like that? Yamazaki wasn't at all interested in Geese's woman drama but for the sake of his pet wolf, he'd like some answers.
Rock had swung his legs over the edge of the bed and mulled quietly on the information given to him. Sure, that wouldn't be nearly enough to make up for the past since Mai wasn't his mother. But she was or she used to be his friend. A heavy silence filled the room as Matilda crossed the floor and sat down next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He looked so comically tiny next to her powerful frame. She could have been his grandmother. Her kindness seemed to lull him in because before long, he leaned against her while she rubbed his shoulder. It should have been wholesome, but Yamazaki wasn't sure he enjoyed the dead expression on Rock's face.
"…Why does he pull everyone into this stupid place?" he asked.
"Mr. Howard? Good question," the nurse sighed. "He does have a reputation of being a bastard. He was quite unapproachable when I met him but he's just human like everyone else. And according to his wife, he's a charming fellow. Men like him make an art of hiding their emotions until the subject hits too close to home. It did for his wife. She told me something about regret being part of it."
It was hard not to drop some sort of sarcastic quip and just ruin the mood but Yamazaki listened intently. Not that he'd use this information against Geese but it was cathartic to get a window inside his weaknesses. As for Rock, he simply scoffed.
"Regret? Yeah, I'll believe it when fat pigs fly."
Despite the sarcasm, Matilda couldn't stop herself from laughing and Rock laughed right with her even if he winced from his injuries. Suppose the morphine was beginning to wear off a bit. After refilling the supply of it, the nurse soon left after that, taking her massive trolley with her. Despite her irritating habits, she was the least annoying person in Geese's entourage, having taken the title from Jeeves or whatever his name was; the infinitely patient, infinitely placid butler. Where was he anyway? Not that Yamazaki missed the man.
He looked at Rock instead and got a slightly wry stare back, ignored it, and said; "Think they might let you go soon."
Rock continued to look at him with an annoyed expression, tense all over. "Why did you take me here?"
Right. Fair enough. Of course. Time to duke it out. Yamazaki ignored the habitual hostility he had a tendency to respond with and just said outright; "Because you would have died and I'd be in jail."
Naturally, Rock made an irritated sound. "So you dump me at Geese's doorstep instead. I thought you said you two weren't friends."
"Fuck that. He is not my friend. I can't fuckin' stand that old cocksucker and his pseudo-intellectualism or his arrogance or his extravagance or his Japanophilia. You know when you put turquoise next to green, and it looks blue, and next to blue, it looks green? Yeah, if you put me next to Geese, he looks very American," Yamazaki pointed out, then stepped closer to the bed, dropping all pretenses of a joke. "You don't need to tell me how much you hate his guts. I know that. I get you'd hate it here. But he kept you alive because he owed me a favor. Seriously."
"Yeah well, you can seriously keep reiterating that until you're all blue in the face and that won't change anything. I'm seriously not gonna argue with you about why bringing me here was a fucked-up thing to do," the younger man retorted sharply. "You of all people should know yet you still threw me to Geese's lions. How could you?"
"Because it was that or your fuckin' death, Rock. If I had a coin for every time, I thought I felt you die, I could buy out this shitty tower and every fucker within it. I'm not loving the memories of watching your frozen body ooze buckets of blood," Yamazaki glanced away from him the second he felt his civility ebb. "And these fuckers may be Geese's ants, but they don't ask questions, they work quick, and they did their damndest to keep you alive. Thanks to them, I'm standing here with you bitching at me for saving your life instead of looking at your corpse in a morgue."
Rock dropped his head to the point where his eyes were completely obscured, still frustrated. "I'd rather bleed out then. Fuck, Freeman should have stabbed harder."
His words came out leveled with disappointment. Clear but hollow. Yamazaki absorbed them without much of a response at first, a little breathless at the shock it left him with. Why?
"Anything but this," Rock continued, his voice shaky. "Being indebted to that man of all people."
It took a moment for Yamazaki's brain to catch up and when it did, everything felt fucking serious. It felt like it burned. The shock came like a slap in the face and his body turned stiff. in some attempt to identify whatever he was feeling, his mind thoughtlessly sought out the second defensive mechanism he had after excessive hostility.
He laughed.
"Guess it's all fun and games with you. Why don't you just leave," Rock snipped but swapped some of that steam quickly after for confusion – and a little hurt like he was perceiving another betrayal. Oh, that was what Yamazaki was feeling. Betrayal and it stung before he could help it. He hated everything about this.
"I thought being heartless was my job. Carve me open some more, why don't you, you little sadist," he hated how he noticed the pain under his words.
Rock glanced at him, cautious, wary. Something awful passed over his expression as the realization hit but at that point, it was already too late. He had tipped the vase, and it fell onto the floor and broke into a million little pieces. When Yamazaki stopped laughing, there was a terrible silence that continued to stretch as he turned around and sauntered out of the room, the smile on his face dropping in an instant.
He let the door close itself, standing alone in the hallway, feeling so unbelievably empty, he wanted to leap out the window to feel the flattening of his flesh. Just so he could prove to himself that he was human and not just a husk that just got gutted like a fish.
Fuck. How pathetic it was, getting riled up by a dumb ungrateful little wolf brat. Rock knew nothing. He knew not a goddamn thing. If he had seen himself that day, he'd realize the horror of it. The blood, the skin that almost turned blue, the delayed reactions, the checking for a pulse, the protective cradling. The terror. If he knew, he'd shut the fuck up and just accept that he'd been helped because his life was far more important than his beef with his piece of shit dad.
If he knew how his death would be a catalyst…
Yamazaki sighed and headed further down the hallway. He was without a goal as it was morning so the casinos weren't open, he wasn't hungry, and he didn't feel good about abandoning Rock despite the urge to let the little shit think about the things he was saying for a while.
Yamazaki stopped by the elevator and thought of where to go now for a second, then turned around and walked in the other direction. A few steps into the mindless pacing, the doors to the elevator opened and Mai stepped out. Yamazaki, in this mindful vulnerable state, nearly went for the throat but then he remembered he was on her turf.
She stopped in front of him with a hesitant smile. "Matilda said Rock's doing better. Thank you for looking out for him."
It was more than looking. It was so much more than that and saying it out loud was terrifying. Goddamn, Yamazaki hated it. He hated standing conflicted between that and whatever the fuck had happened earlier. Torn between retaliation and just being pissy and sad.
Mai must have noticed the unhappiness radiating off him and she continued, either as a play of pity or just to pry him open further somehow. "I think it's good for him he has someone in his corner. He's a good guy so he deserves that at least. I wish I could've helped if I knew where he was all this time. Maybe if Terry stayed for longer…"
"Huh? He came back?"
"For a day or two. I think he went back to his old apartment to look for Rock but couldn't find him, thought he had left on his own and accepted that."
"Hm," Yamazaki hummed tersely. He tried not to let that sudden, slight sense of disappointment come over him. How fucking tragic was that?
Mai continued yet again as she closed the gap between them, hands folded behind her back. She tilted her head a bit with that valley girl smile on her face but the way she stared at him belied her actual shrewdness. She did not have that before. What did Geese turn her into?
"I'm still shocked that it's you of all people but you're looking out for him at least. Please continue to. Maybe if you do well, there'll be some compensation. But you didn't need that before, right?" she said intently with a smile that just vaguely hinted at some bait being thrown. Yamazaki had seen plenty of those types. People playing the fool, then blindsiding you with their sharp acumen. People like that were not to be underestimated.
"Tch," Yamazaki clicked her tongue, not in the mood to go back and forth with her until she got her answers. But the way she shook her head in disappointment was an indicator of conclusions being drawn already.
"Oh, it's just like Geese. And Billy. And Hein. And Hopper. And Ripper. Always the same with you wise guys. Doing the hustle., no issue there but when it comes to emotions, you fall short. It's cliché actually."
"The hustle doesn't give a shit about feelings, hussy."
"And in turn it leaves you all emotionally stunted until some unsuspecting person comes into your life and untangles the mess that you are."
Anger on top of everything worked its way through Yamazaki's mind and he glared at her. "…What's your fuckin' point, toots?"
"Oh? Nothing. I'm just making observations," Mai stepped back a bit like nothing was amiss. "Matilda said he'd be able to go home tomorrow but there's some things we'll need to clear up before you leave the tower."
"Such as?"
The placid smile that had been resting on Mai's face faded away in the blink of an eye. And a shade of darkness took its place.
"Freeman."
For the rest of the day and the following night, Yamazaki was still wary of Rock, staying away from his room but always within the tower. He was still tethered to the kid despite his best efforts, always around for the nurse to inform him that he had been asked for or of how Rock was doing. Unhappy was the answer. It had lasted for thirty-six hours but Yamazaki figured this was a milder version of Rock's initial stay in the safehouse because the only person to visit him had been the Tramp of Muay Thai, aside from the nurse.
Everyone else was an enemy and Yamazaki was still wounded. But on the thirty-seventh hour, he forced himself to put a temporary lid on those feelings and followed Billy to the secret floor of the tower's restricted basement. He had overheard some of Geese's goons talking about it in passing but it never interested him. It did unnerve him just a notch to know that it could only be accessed through a secret entrance with biometrics and everything. A concrete grave where no one would hear you scream.
A single cell was present, barren for the best torture. Instead of typical bars, there was a thick glass panel. And in the middle of the floor lay Freeman, bound by his hands and feet in quite an unnatural position. His limbs had been bent so they could be tied together. His skin was a shader darker than Yamazaki remembered it to be.
He was alive but he lay unresponsive despite the people standing in front of the glass looking at him like he was some poor zoo animal expected to dance for their amusement. There was a crowbar a few feet away too; not that he could use it in his current state. His hair had been shaved off, revealing all angles of his bruised, bloodied face.
Yamazaki had done that to him, and the remainder felt fantastic.
Instead of reveling in the memory, he looked around while the jailhouse or whatever this liminal space nightmare was began to be filled with more goons and eventually Geese Howard himself who decided to remain at the end of the hall and just watch with his arms folded over his chest.
Mai arrived soon after and took charge as the director of this operation, snapping her fingers so the other goons stepped aside for her as she stepped up to a lever that sat on a nearby wall. A weird atmosphere filled the entire room, a little solemn, quite tense. Minutes passed, dragging, crawling, slowing to a stop like the earth itself stopped turning. Everyone stood still, silent, frozen. Anticipated? Waiting for what?
And as time woke up from its coma, Yamazaki began to understand why.
Echoes of footsteps grew louder until two figures could be spotted approaching. Jeeves, actually Geese's butler called Hein – and Rock who looked like a wild animal forced into domestication. His body was rigid and stiff, hands clenched, eyes shifting around to the faces around him. Looking at him like that, it felt like a dick move to still be displeased with him.
Upon seeing him, Mai cleared her throat a bit but she didn't move from the lever.
"I'm glad to see you're okay. You're probably wondering why you're here, Rock. It's because according to the doctrine here, you'll be the one to decide what happens with Freeman. It'll be your revenge to take – if you want it," she was gentle and she seemed to mean every word, but her smile was wry and a little strained. "If not, that's okay. We'll take it from here."
Rock was quiet for a bit, glancing askance to Geese in the far end, then back at her. "Was this his idea?"
"No. Mine."
"…Indoctrination?"
Mai's gentile attitude ebbed a bit for the true darkness inside to slip through.
"Retribution."
Yamazaki didn't like the sound of that for some reason. He didn't like the sound of any of this. He had the urge to step in and tell these psychotic fucks to not try and turn Rock into one of them. Not that'd work anyway. Not even if she pulled that lever. And she didn't right away, snapping her fingers again which was the cue for Hein to make his way next to Rock with a tablet in hand.
"We looked through the lair and documented everything. I think the extent of Freeman's actions, even bits of it, is important to know," Mai explained as Rock reluctantly took the advice into his hands.
A little curious, Yamazaki angled himself so he could see the feed, noting some of the goons paled and turned away. He had wondered about the smell of death and rot that lingered in the air but didn't investigate for the sake of the bloody wolf slowly dying in his arms, trying to keep his delirious ass distracted from the dismembered child just ten feet away.
On the screen was a video, courtesy of someone holding a camera talking over the feed while a few goons made sure to illuminate everything. Someone else stepped into frame and pulled a set of curtains to a room with blood and gore caked onto the walls. And several corpses. Dismembered and arranged like you'd present a lobster. Coagulated blood and rotting flesh made it clear that they had been dead for a while. One of the people captured instantly turned around, sick to his stomach, and the person filming yelped in disgust at the smell.
In another room, there was what looked to have once been a kitchen area. It had been turned into an operation room with several fridges and a walk-in freezer. Body parts were strung from chains in the ceiling like pig carcasses at a slaughterhouse.
Ripper stepped into the feed of the video and bravely opened the door to the first fridge. He groaned, then slammed it again. What he had seen were jars of human eyeballs, organs, and a few heads. In the corner of the frame, Hopper opened barrels and dropped the lid to one. Pink sludge with remains of human bones floated inside.
"What the fuck?" the camerawoman explained, followed by nervous laughter and rapid breathing. She yelped like she was being attacked and nearly dropped the camera before it was eased out of her hand.
"It's okay, you're okay," Hein's voice gently eased her into leveled inhaling. He guided her out of the room and took over filming duties, giving his unsettlingly anatomical analysis of everything. "Identifying the bodies will be difficult. It would seem that sulfuric acid was used here as a test to see how long a human body would dissolve. I hypothesize this as the other barrels are clear and contain the same substance. Except for this one judging from the smell."
He stopped in front of an oil barrel and pulled off the lid to reveal the bloated corpse of a child in the water.
Watching all of this, Rock has been quiet, but he was trembling something fierce now, his grip on the tablet tightening. Yamazaki resisted the urge to reach out for him, shielding his eyes from the carnage. He looked at Mai, pinned her with a stare and she sighed, her expression turning into a miserable frown with a huge internal storm happening. Only modestly, she managed to get it under control.
"…I know. I know it all."
Before Yamazaki could figure out what she meant by this, he looked at the screen again and saw the posse enter the walk-in freezer. He had seen dead bodies before (excluding the ones by his hand). He had seen decomposed corpses before in every state imaginable. Death and its faces were not unfamiliar to him but there was something about all of this that caused a sinking feeling to pool in his stomach.
It remained there at the sight of more corpses.
Some had been left unaltered with their faces transfixed in horror and pain like that had been their expression upon death. Others had been…tampered with, to put it mildly. Stitched and mutilated in horrible positions like hugs with uncanny smiles on their faces. In the middle of it, there was a young woman posed to represent the paraphrase of 'as above, so below'. She was around Rock's age.
Her chest had been carved open.
She had no heart.
Rock dropped the tablet. It fell to the floor and the impact absolutely killed its screen but no one cared. He stepped over it, marched over to Mai, and pulled the lever with such force, he could possibly rip the thing off the wall. The glass panel slid into the floor, and this made Freeman lift his head just slightly. His dull eyes followed Rock marching into the cubicle, reaching for the crowbar with an unfamiliar wildness to him and slamming the metal against the deranged serial killer's legs.
His eyes stretched wide, and a growl came from him but it didn't stop Rock from smashing the crowbar against every bone of his; shoulder, hips, kneecaps, arms. Over and over until there came an audible crack under Freeman's sharp groans. A blow to the man's back lodged the teeth of the crowbar into his skin until Rock ripped it out like he was performing a blood eagle and raised it above his head to strike a killing blow down on Freeman's skull.
"Very well. Dying is a learning experience too, you know. Come, this hunt must end. Fly against the order of the world. Be the jackrabbit that ate the coyote. Teach me the wisdom of death," the trash bag taken human form trembled as he spoke, something akin to a smile stretching across his face. Blood dripped from his lip, either from chewing up old wounds or catching his tongue between his teeth.
This snapped Rock out of his trance momentarily and Yamazaki slipped into the cell, sliding a hand onto his arm to pull him back from unreality and lower the crowbar. They looked at each other and Yamazaki saw a lot of emotions in Rock's eyes. Guilt, anger, confusion. Fear. He was shaking terribly, having an internal battle with no chance of solving it. There was a moment's clarity in the middle of it then as he understood the weight of what was happening, the gravity of what he was about to do.
"…I won't do it. If I kill you, I'm no better than you…or that man," he said to Freeman and tossed the crowbar to the floor. "No matter how much you deserve to fucking burn in hell. Death would just be giving you what you want."
Freeman simply scoffed, closing his eyes. "Disappointing."
Without a word to that, Rock turned around and walked out of the cell. Calmly, Mai looked at him and asked; "What should we do with him?"
"…Hand him over to the cops but do not kill him," he answered sharply, still shaking, posture tightening when he turned to Geese. "And you. I owe you nothing for this and neither does he."
Ah. It took Yamazaki a moment to realize it was about him. He'd almost smile at the considerations if they weren't also standing in the murder basement of South Town's kingpin.
"You're right. I did owe him a favor however," Geese met his son's hostility with toneless apathy and the tiniest hints of dolor. "Keyword is 'did'."
"Whatever," Rock continued to saunter off and Yamazaki followed behind him, leaning close to whisper a little fact to him. "Freefuck could break outta jail. Just a thought."
They stood by the far end of the hallway, away from the cluster of people. By the door that would lead them above ground but of course, they couldn't leave without someone to type in the passcode.
"I didn't say they couldn't remove his means of escape. I don't care if they make him paraplegic. So long as Hon and everyone working hard knows he's gone for good – the right way," Rock's tone twisted into some unsettling gray area between determination and plain desolation. He kept his eyes locked on the wall too. He used to look up when talking. He looked so small now and Yamazaki felt, for the first time in a while, so incredibly hopeless. Hopeless and conflicted.
There was a lot to talk through when they got back. A lot of things to untangle. A few untalkable topics about to be discussed. But Yamazaki wasn't in the headspace for it and watching Rock for the first two days since the episode in the tower made it clear that the feeling was mutual. On top of everything, something felt like it had been broken.
With Rock, it was more potent.
He was overall shaken by everything; quieter, slower to answer questions verbally, and would rather just nod or shake his head. The quips he tended to fire off ceased. Maybe the weight of everything had to really set in with all its gloom and doom for as he was now, he was one bad case of self-harm away from reverting to the mess he used to be before. He was great when he was stable and in a happy mood. He was fantastic like that.
He was not stable, and he was not happy.
And in turn, Yamazaki found himself uncomfortably introspective. When he had impulsively agreed with himself to take in Rock, he hadn't expected himself to be outright so considerate of someone else, willing to let himself feel and look back on things he had tried to avoid for years instead of dictating the course of things. Rock probably had no idea how much influence his wishes and Yamazaki only now realized how much he wanted to adhere to said wishes.
It was thought-provoking, humiliating, and heartwarming all the same. What the fuck?
And beyond this, Yamazaki was still trying to process the feeling of betrayal; something that made hours seem like years. Moreover, no one could bring himself to talk about it which doubled Yamazaki's irritation. Especially with Rock being so…anxious; jumping when touched, laying pressed against the wall at night like he was expecting to be kicked out of bed. It was like a dog stalking around the house after it had messed up.
But then human elements would pop in and disrupt that analogy. Usually in the form of Rock leaving snacks around the abode with a bag for Yamazaki when he headed out. Not for jobs. Just walking in the nearby forests. The snacks were a sweet gesture, but they couldn't keep living like this so Yamazaki decided to kick himself in the balls and have Rock stand in the bedroom with the curtains drawn for a little talk.
His breath balked a bit and he looked at the floor as usual, struggling to pull himself together. It was painful to be close to him in this awful silence when most of what Yamazaki thought about was their bodies pressed together and found himself slightly starved for touch and comfort. Thinking of the budding acceptance, trust, and everything that came with it.
It was something Rock felt unworthy yet provided in droves of and Yamazaki thought he was incapable of experiencing but he wanted again, he realized. But right now, they stood here apart from one another, alone and unsure all the same. Whoever spoke first would set the tone. Yamazaki planned to but-
"Sorry. I'm sorry for being…awful," it came from Rock, in a trembling whisper. "I know you were trying to help and I…"
"I'm not mad at you anymore, Rock," Yamazaki answered, settling on a first-name basis for emphasis. "I'm telling you; you do weird fuckin' things to me. Now I've gone and become all introspective and shit. Fuck, got my feelings hurt too. Next week, I'll be pissing rainbows and shitting flowers."
They laughed a little at that and it erased the days of tension and the distance between them as Rock came slithering and wormed his arms around Yamazaki, resting his head on his shoulder.
"Thank you for stopping me," he said ever so gently. "I don't want to become like either of them."
"Yeah, well. Can't have that now, huh, wolfy?"
They stood like that for a while and it felt so inhumanly good that it was bit of a loss when Rock pulled back, happy as a peach. The indoor lights hadn't been turned on but the bright flow from the lamps outside provided enough visibility. And as they stood here, everything felt in balance.
"What happened with White?" Rock asked, fidgeting with his fingers. "You acted really weird when you got back. Been meaning to ask about it. I guess it must have been big if you were owed a favor from that man."
At that statement, a lingering poisonous thought arose in Yamazaki's mind. "I'm not sure you wanna hear about it. He said some…things. Very…untalkable things."
It took a moment but the implication, no matter how vague soon dawned over Rock and there came a look of absolute shame in his eyes. Yamazaki recognized it like a strike of lightning, and for a few seconds felt so incredibly, miserably furious that he barely knew what to do with himself.
"I don't hold it against you," he raised his hand, a little quickly, and wondered if he sounded too insincere. "I think I killed the fucker twice over because of that. I wish it had been Kain instead. Would have killed him thrice."
The joke landed flatly, and it didn't stop what was occurring. Rock's eyes turned wet and blank with panic, his jaw clenched so tightly to the point where it might shatter his teeth. Taking a few steps backward, he reached for his wrist and Yamazaki grabbed it, almost frantic like a stressed cobra, and lifted it.
For his efforts, he got a soft sob and the displeasure of listening to Rock's breathing devolve up little more than small panicked gasps, watching it all pass in what felt like eternities. Rock went limp against Yamazaki then, shaking so uncomfortable much, that it was as if his body would fall apart.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm not…I'm…"
Fuck. Okay.
Yamazaki tried anyway. "Hey, cut it-"
"I-I didn't mean to. Th-they forced themselves on me. After Terry left, I didn't know what to do with myself and they made me feel welcome until that happened. And I-I just…I just let it happen Because it kept happening and I stopped fighting, and they brought up Mom and I…" Rock spoke as if he was in a trance but what he said was uncomfortably clear.
Swallowing his anger, Yamazaki clenched the younger man against himself. "Kain can go fuck himself. He and his pet horse. It was not on you. Not that or all the other shit he threw you into it. Got it?"
There was no response.
Miserably desperate and thoroughly angry, he brushed a few frantic kisses and nips against Rock's neck, relaxing when he heard a shaky breath against his ear accompanied by a forlorn plea. "I feel…I didn't want anyone to know. I…am I unsightly then?"
Awful implications bred awful sensations. Yamazaki didn't let Rock ponder on that for one second longer, hands running down his sides.
"Don't be stupid, kid."
Yamazaki came to hate a lot of things in life. He cupped Rock's face and kissed him for all the kid was worth, while the hatred in his heart grew. He hated Kain and Grant for their actions. He hated Terry for starting this spiral, to begin with. He nearly hated Andy for keeling over and hated how irrational it was to loathe a man dying prematurely.
Rock was tugging at his shirt now and he loved that more than anything, yet he hated Geese, Mai, and their clique for almost pulling Rock down to their level. He hated how manipulative it all was. He hated Freeman for almost killing the Rock. He hated White for hurting him. He hated how vulnerable his heart turned out to be, that it was there at all, that this was how it was, and that he didn't hate that feeling.
He loved Rock Howard for simply being here. He loved everything about that.
Okay so a few things to note.
1) Matilda! Okay, so she's a minor filler OC I created for Black Velvet. Hired by Geese, she was a nurse/GP for Mai after she escaped Krauser and got discharged from the hospital (without being physically able to give consent to that, mind you) because Geese was paranoid about her not being in a controlled environment. Matilda did well so Geese just kept her around on Mai's behest. He finds her annoying but she's damn good at her job.
2) If it wasn't obvious; Kain (and subsequently Grant) raped Rock. Afterwards, he was manipulated into sex work which just compounded the already existing trauma and kept him trapped here. And then they coerced him into their bed some more. Very fucked up, yes. And we already knew that, but it's been elaborated on there. Now, why would Kain do this? We'll just have to wait and see for the answers.