Two weeks later and I'm more confused than ever. I sit in the library, flipping through a book on memory charms, curled up in an oversized armchair beside a tall window. Rain pounds against the glass, thunder sounding in the distance, as I read by candlelight. I had gone to bed hours ago but awoke after a horrible dream: a repeat of the Department of Mysteries, but this time I wasn't able to block Hermione from the curse in time. After tossing and turning for a few minutes, I made my way to the library.
I've had three more sessions with Healer Minnows. Each one has left me more conflicted than the last. Outside of this nightmare, Cassandra's memories have been invading my dreams as well. It's been hard to come to terms that part of my childhood isn't real, but the more I remember of myself from before the accident I start to question how much of me is Rosie and how much is Cassandra.
I miss Hermione and our parents desperately. Last week, once I realized that I'm able to go longer distances without needing a break, I tried to find a way off the grounds. Unfortunately, I found both the property gate and all of the floo accesses locked to me. When I asked, Mipsy looked ashamed to say that Lord Nott, Father, was able to limit access to those within Nott Manor. This means that I'm stuck here until he deems it "safe" for me to leave. Not able to leave, I've taken to spending more time with Theo. He's joined me in my music practices and my excursions onto the grounds. He'd actually tried to get me up on a broom on the Quidditch Pitch, but I had refused. Fighting Death Eaters was a breeze compared to dangling on a stick hundreds of feet in the air. I've also been doing my best to avoid Draco.
After hours of research in the manor library, I'd found that only he would be able to remove the ring from my finger, not something he was likely to do. He's been trying to catch me on my own for several days, leading me to stick to Theo's side like glue. My brother has been more than happy to oblige, allowing me to use him as a human shield. Having a brother is much different than a sister, but not in a bad way. Theo is kind, caring, if not a sly bastard when it comes to working on our summer homework. I wrote half of his Charms essay before I realized that he was playing fetch with an ottoman he had transfigured into a dog. I've become fond of him, almost thinking of him in the same way I do Hermione.
In my search of the library, I found several books of family history. It was one concerning the Notts of the 1300s that peaked my interest. The family had yet to immigrate to England, still living in Norway at the time. The Lord Nott of the day was said to have been a very violent man, even to his children. It was when Erik Nott struck his thirteen year old daughter, Thyra, with the killing curse in a fit of rage that his wife enacted the "curse" on him and his bloodline. No parent of Nott blood would be able to kill their children. A hedge of protection was placed around all future children of Erik's blood, his direct descendant would be unable to murder their offspring as he had Thyra. This protection did not extend to his wife, Alruna, who he killed immediately upon learning of her actions. That grieving mother's sacrifice is the only reason I survived the battle at the Department of Mysteries.
The book I'm currently reading has been sitting on my nightstand for the better part of a week. It caught my eye after a session with my mind healer. I decided that it was time to take the retrieval of my missing memories into my own hands. I started with researching simple obliviation charms before moving on to much more complicated rituals. I feel as if I am so close to finding the rest of my missing memories, as if they are hovering just out of my reach.
A draft causes a shiver to run down my spine. I tug the blanket off the back of the armchair, draping it over my lap. I look around the shelves, trying to find the source of the breeze. The library doors suddenly slam shut. I jump, freezing in my seat for a moment. My brain jumpstarts once more at the sound of footsteps heading my way. Quickly, I shut my book and blow out the candle I'm using as a reading light. I stand and shuffle quietly through the shelves, planning to bypass the person and head back to my rooms.
A short shriek leaves my throat as I round the corner of a bookcase, a pair of hands reach out and grab my shoulders to steady me.
"Going somewhere, doll?" I scowl as I look up at the blond, disdain taking over my fright.
"I'm going back to bed if you must know." I huff, trying to shake off his grip. He chuckles at my actions.
"Don't leave on my account, sweetheart. I was just planning to do a bit of night reading." He studies me for a moment, using his grip on my shoulders to walk us from whence I came. "What are you doing up so late? Bad dream?"
His concern almost seems sincere. I roll my eyes, stumbling slightly as he forces me to walk backwards. "It's none of your business. Now, please unhand me."
That infuriating smirk pulls at his lips. He shoves me, causing me to flail my arms as I pitch backward, dropping my book. I suck in a breath as I fall before landing gracelessly in the armchair I just vacated. Draco bends, snatching up my book. His eyebrows raise as he reads the title before beginning to thumb through the pages, stepping forward to stand between my knees.
"Actively trying to remember now, are we? I thought you wanted nothing to do with Cassandra Nott?" I cross my arms, turning my head to stare out the window and into the stormy night. His questions grate my nerves, reminding me of the feeling of betrayal to the Grangers my actions have caused.
"I don't like not knowing things. Especially about myself." I mumble after a few moments.
"You were the same when we were kids." His tone is amused. I turn my head sharply, looking at him curiously as he continues. "Anything you didn't understand, we were dragged along behind you as you searched for an answer. I remember one time, we spent an entire day here in the library, us and Theo. You went through three different Herbology books until you fully understood the maturation process of mandrakes. You weren't satisfied with your father's explanation that mandrake screams were fatal when you asked why there was a silencing charm on the greenhouse. You needed to know why they were fatal. Which then meant that Theo and I had to know."
I blink at him in disbelief, thinking of his words. "Did we really spend so much time together?"
"Oh darling." Draco lets the book fall to the floor once more as he reaches out, sliding his hand around the nape of my neck, thumb hooked under my chin. Using his leverage to tilt my head upward, facing him. Lightning strikes in the distance, the glow coming through the window and illuminating his features. I don't move as he leans down, bringing his face closer to mine. "I have been utterly obsessed with you our entire lives. Father always said that it was disgraceful of a Malfoy to trail after their betrothed so…devotedly, but I can't help myself. My very magic calls me to you like a moth to a flame."
The look in his eyes seems almost crazed as he speaks. "And now that I have you back, I promise no one will ever take you from me again." I gasp as his fingers squeeze my neck slightly. He takes advantage immediately, swooping down to slide his lips over my own and dip his tongue into my mouth. The action takes me by surprise, my thoughts grinding to a halt. It's a moment before I even register that my body is responding to the motions, lost in the pleasure. This bastard stole my first kiss without even thinking to ask.
I'm left breathless as he pulls back, just barely. "If I had my way, I would whisk you off to our French villa, leaving all of this behind. Just the two of us." His other hand appears, brushing hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. "Unfortunately, a magically binding contract states that you must be of age and sit your NEWTs before we can marry." I watch him carefully, my thoughts catching up with my actions. Horror fills me at what has just transpired between us. He straightens, stepping back. "I am counting the days until those conditions are met, my little witch."
A shiver shoots down my spine at the supposed endearment. I make a show of wiping my lips on my sleeve. "I will never marry you." I glare.
Draco only laughs in response, genuinely amused by my anger. "I've told you before, doll. A Malfoy always gets what he wants. And I want you ."
Goosebumps cover my skin as I watch him back away into the shadows of the shelves. I sit in the chair for hours after the closing door signals his departure.
I am in way over my head.
-
I've locked myself in my room today. I can hardly force myself out of bed. Being without my wand all summer, I started to get the hang of wandless magic. This being the only reason I've been able to keep everyone out of my chambers today. I even refused to attend my session with Healer Minnows earlier, despite the fact that they've become the highlight of my week.
I'd finally remembered last night. A breakthrough , as my mind healer would call it. That horrible day invaded my dreams.
-
"Why can't we play Snitch and Seek?" Astoria whines, crossing her arms. Our abandoned game of Exploding Snap lays on the floor at our feet as we stand, girls on one side of the room and boys on the other. I turn to the boys, gesturing to our other friends.
"See Theo? It's four against two! We should play Snitch and Seek." I speak sternly to my brother, who has a thunderous expression on his face.
"NO!" My twin is insistent in his refusal. " We want to play Aurors and Wizards! Right, Draco?" Theo turns his head to look at our blonde friend. Draco's eyes are wide as his gaze goes back and forth from Theo to me. His hesitation in answering only serves to make my brother angrier. Theodore stomps his foot before marching closer to me, using his few extra inches to his advantage. "I say we're playing Auror and Wizards. And I'm a wizard so you have to listen."
I gape at my twin, crossing my own arms as rage fills my small body. "Theodore! Witches are just as good as wizards." I exclaim, my blue eyes blazing. "We voted and Snitch and Seek won!"
Theo lets out a yell as he shoves me in a fit of five-year-old rage. I hit the floor of the treehouse with a thud. Tears fill my eyes as I sit in shock. Fights between my twin and I hardly ever got physical. A hand takes mine, causing me to look up and see Draco kneeling beside me. He wipes a tear from my face before pressing a chaste kiss to my cheek. "Please don't cry, my Cassie." The boy's voice is strained, as if he's pained by my tears.
I sniffle as I let my betrothed pull me to my feet, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I look back to my brother, who now has a guilty expression. I shrug off Draco's arm before moving to the trap door on the floor, wanting to leave.
"I'm going to go have tea with Mumma." I say quietly before beginning my descent. I've just cleared the door when the red light of a stunning spell flies past me. Gasping in surprise, my foot slips off the branch below me. I let out a shriek as I fall, seeing the horrified faces of my brother and friends looking down at me through the door.
Everything goes black.
-
I wake up screaming, tears running down my face. The sensation of falling has yet to leave me as I sit straight up in bed, gasping for breath. Looking around, I find myself in an unfamiliar room. Everything is white, the walls, the floor, the bed. It smells strongly of the solution Kerner uses to deep clean the kitchen.
Confusion fills me as my fear dissipates. Where am I? Where's Theo? Mumma and Daddy? I look around the room again, looking for a clue to my location. Before I'm able to climb out of bed, the door to the room opens. An old wizard with a long white beard enters. His robes are fuchsia with bright, yellow sunflowers adorning the fabric. His solemn expression forms a grandfatherly smile as he realizes I'm awake, eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles.
"Cassandra, my girl. How are you feeling?" I watch carefully as the elderly wizard takes the seat beside my bed. Tense silence stretches between us as I refuse to answer. Mumma and Mipsy have always told Theo and I not to talk to strange Wixen. The man frowns at me. "Now that's no way to treat a friend, Cassandra."
"You're a stranger, not a friend." I state stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest. The wizard's eyes twinkle brighter with amusement.
"I'm Albus, a friend of your parents." I perk up at the mention of my parents.
"Where are Mumma and Daddy?" I ask earnestly.
"They're…busy at the moment. They wanted me to come and check on you. I'm bringing you home." Relief replaces my feelings of unease. I get to go home. Maybe Theo won't be cross with me anymore and we can play. I'll even agree to play Aurors and Wizards!
"Let's go!" I say excitedly, crawling out from under the blankets and sliding off the bed. I take the hand he offers me. Before I can take another step, there's a harsh tug behind my navel.
I've only been side-along apparated a couple of times by my father. It has always felt as if my insides have been put into a blender while I'm on a run away carousel. As we come to a sudden stop, my legs give out from underneath me and I find myself puking into the green grass lawn we've landed in.
"Welcome home, Rosalind." I push myself to my feet after dry heaving a few more moments. Mr. Albus' words confuse me once more, making me wonder who Rosalind is. I look up at him, brushing grass off the linen gown I'm dressed in.
"I'm Cassie, Mister." The twinkle in his eyes only grows as he puts a hand on my shoulder and guides me up the front walk of the residence. I take in the large house, still much smaller than the manor. We stop in front of the blue painted door. Albus knocks as I look around, seeing similar homes lining the street.
"Dumbledore! You're early." I snap my attention back to the doorway, seeing a tall man with reddish-brown hair. The man looks down at me, offering a smile. "Hi there."
I offer the man a meek wave, taking a step behind 'Dumbledore.' The man steps aside, gesturing for us to enter. I hesitantly follow behind the elder wizard, shuffling through the foyer. The man takes us to a sitting room to the right. On one of the couches sits a woman and young girl who looks around my age. The girl leans into her mother's side as she looks at me curiously, brown bushy hair haloing her head.
"Please, take a seat." The woman waves her hand to the couch opposite her and the girl. The man takes a seat on her other side. I wait for Mr. Albus to sit before perching on the edge of the couch.
"Introduce yourself, honey." The man tells the young girl. She straightens in her seat, as if suddenly finding confidence. I watch as she slides off the sofa and comes to stand before me, sticking out a hand.
"I'm Hermione Granger. How do you do?" I stare at her tanned hand for a moment before taking it, shaking it in greeting.
"My name's Cassandra." I tell her quietly. Her nose scrunches in confusion.
"Mummy said your name is Rosalind." I cock my head at her before we're interrupted.
"Come sit back down, honey bee." We stare at each other for a moment more before Hermione retakes her seat. I turn my attention to the man. "I'm Daniel and this is my wife, Jean Granger."
"It's so nice to meet you, sweetheart." The woman, Jean, gives me a kind smile.
"Mr. and Mrs. Granger are going to be your new parents." Dumbledore's words cause my body to tense. He gains my full attention.
"But I already have parents. I have Mumma and Daddy. And Theo!" My words are frantic.
"I understand, my girl, but you will be needed in the years ahead. To succeed in your task, you need a very different upbringing than you are currently receiving." The old man may as well be speaking in riddles for all that I understand. "There will come a time when the dark one your father serves will return. When that happens, the Light will need you as a spy. You may very well be the key to winning the coming war."
"I want to go home! I want Mumma!" Tears fill my eyes as I jump off of the couch, backing away from the room's inhabitants. Albus waves his long wand. It feels as if water flows down from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, calmness taking over.
"You are home, Rosalind." I watch in horror as the wizard turns his wand on Hermione. Her eyes widen as a spell hits her. She slumps back onto the sofa, asleep.
"Hermione!" Jean calls out, a touch of panic in her voice as she leans over her daughter.
"Professor, was that really necessary?" Daniel looks pained as he watches his wife and daughter.
"Yes my boy. Neither of the girls will be able to remember this. It will be easier to alter their memories if they are not awake. It will be extensive work to change five years worth of memories." The 'Professor' turns his gaze back to me. "Come take your seat, Rosalind."
I shake my head in protest, but my feet have a different idea. I try to resist as I walk myself back to the couch and take a seat beside the old wizard once more. Dread takes over my senses, pulsing through the calm as he raises his wand. I'm unable to make a sound as the stunning spell hits me.
-
I had woken up early in the morning with a start, my skin clammy from being drenched in a cold sweat. Sleep was out of the question, leading me to stare at the ceiling for hours as I processed the memories.
Dumbledore wants to use me as a double agent. A spy for the Order. He lied to my face, pretending he didn't already know of my true heritage. As if he hadn't been the one to have orchestrated this entire mess. My parents even know. They've lied to Hermione and I our entire lives. They always knew that I was Cassie Nott, not Rosie Granger.
Theo and Draco have both come knocking on my door a few times. Father even tried after lunch, not happy with me missing two meals. Mipsy just left me after pleading with me to at least have some tea. I haven't said a word to a single one of them, scared that descriptions of my dreams would come pouring out of my mouth.
I can't decide how I feel about Dumbledore's actions. He tore me away from my family, from everything I knew. He did it with the intention of turning me against them before reuniting us. I'm nothing more than a pawn in his game.
I wish more than anything that I could talk to my sister. She would know what to do.