I own nothing, and this is out of my usual tone/element. This is meant to be a parody, not meant to be taken very seriously about what if, for whatever reason, Batman went to custody court as Batman to sue Talia for full custody of Damion. I don't think either Talia or Bruce would go to a court to arbitrate this for them, but it is kinda funny to think about.

Please enjoy it for free if you still think you might like this.

The judge looked down at her notes. "Tell me why you think I should give you full custody of your son, Mr … 'Batman?'"

In full Batman gear, the caped crusader answered from behind the table to the right and in front of the judge. "I believe my son is more likely to become a good citizen, member of the human race, and sentient being of the galaxy if I raise him without his mother's influence."

The judge looked up and blinked. "I thought my staff were pulling a prank on me. You're here, in my court, to sue for full custody of a child?"

"My biological son, Damion, yes."

"You're the vigilante who takes young boys dressed in bright costumes and masks to bad neighborhoods … at night!"

"Yes. But I supervise them and they only come with me to such places to help me fight crime. I also put them through rigorous training before letting them help me."

"That … doesn't help your case."

"I assure you they all are or were extremely capable."

"Still not helping. Can you at least provide for this boy in addition to all the other children you've been seen fighting crime with?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"Trust me."

"I'm not sure I do. Didn't one of these children die?"

"Yes, but he's alive now. In fact, he's in this courtroom behind me with my other partners now."

"What?!"

Red Hood raises an arm from the back where he has his feet up on the chair in front of him. "Yo!"

The judge stares at the young man with a white streak in his hair staring nonchalantly back at her. "Are … you here to testify in this case for Batman?"

"Nope! I'm just here to watch the show!"

Judge puts her head down in her hands. "Okay. Let's hear from the mother. Is she present?"

Tahlia speaks from behind the table across from aisle from Batman's. "I am."

"And you want?"

"Continued shared custody like we've had before. I'm fine with Damion 'occasionally' spending time with his father. But there are times, like now, I need him to spend time with me."

Nightwing stood up from where he'd been sitting next to Red Hood and pointed at Talia. "Occasionally?! You left him with us for 'months' and didn't even call him till now! You barely acknowledge he exists until you want his help or want to use him to manipulate Batman!"

"Is that true Miss …" Judge looks down at her notes and blinks. "Al Ghul …" She looks back up open mouthed to stare at the stoic woman before her. "Are you any relation to the terrorist Ras Al Ghul?"

Tahalia barely blinked before replying. "I believe the 'correct' title for my father is 'Future Ruler of the Entire Planet.' Now, may I legally take my son back? This charade is tiresome. I need my son for an operation to destroy every city save this city, one of Gotham we are now in. My family and our organization are sparing it as a sign of our respect, admiration, and love for my beloved and our son Damion."*

Judge stares another few long seconds at Talia. Then she snaps shut the folder of papers in front of her and looks at the plaintive. "Batman, you may have full custody of the child in question."

Batman replies in his usual deep deadpan voice "Thank you, you honor."

Talia sends him a poisonous glare. "This will be the first case my father overthrows when we take over the rule of all mankind!"

What do you think?

God bless

ScribeofHeroes

* This story idea I got from a Young Justice TV series tie in comic.