My dreams were a tangled mess of memories and emotions. I found myself back at McKinley High School, standing in front of my locker with Brittany while I grabbed my books for Spanish class. Not that I needed the class anyway since I was already fluent, but it was a graduation requirement. Brittany was rambling about unicorns and Lord Tubbington, but I found myself getting lost in her voice. The world around us seemed to disappear, and it felt like we were in a movie where everything revolved around us. It was perfect—just the two of us laughing and holding hands, a moment I never wanted to end. But as dreams do, this perfect moment shifted.
Brittany's face transformed from pure bliss to an expression of guilt. Her laugh faded into a nervous chuckle, and her bright smile turned into a frown. The hallways changed from bustling and bright to dark and empty, just the two of us standing there. Confused, I turned to Brittany. "Why, Brittany?" was all I could think to ask. "You always do this to me. I just wanted a lifetime of perfect moments with you, and only you. But just like this moment, you always turn it sour. Why do you keep hurting me? I only wanted you to love me."
Tears streamed down my face, representing the hurt I'd felt for the past four years, the disappointment in my partner, the guilt for not leaving sooner, and the resentment I harbored for Brittany.
Brittany started crying too, and I wanted to reach out, but I knew this wasn't the right moment. "I'm so sorry, San. I really do love you. I'm so in love with you that it hurts, and I will cherish every moment we've had. Maybe we can give this another shot in the future. But I'm not ready for this." I tried to grab her hand, but she pulled away. "I love you so much, Santana Lopez, but I know I'll keep hurting you because I don't know how to stop."
"Then learn, Brittany. You can't leave me again. Please, Britt...don't go." I let my guard down, needing her to see that this is what I wanted. "Relationships are hard, but if you love someone, you'll do anything to keep them. We have to try, Brittany. I love you. I'm in love with you for fuck's sake!" I was getting angry because she couldn't see what I was saying. "How can you not understand? We have to put in the work. I've been working on myself for the past few months, and..."
Brittany abruptly cut me off, "No, San. I'm proud of you for becoming a better person, but no. I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you deserved to be loved. You'll forever be the one who got away. I'll miss you, San, but I'm letting you go now, and you need to let me go." She stepped forward and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes and inhaled her familiar scent of brown sugar and vanilla. When I opened my eyes, she was gone, and I was left standing in an empty hallway in front of my locker.
I knew it was a dream, but the overwhelming feeling of loss felt too real. I watched my wife walk away from our relationship in real life, and now I watched her walk away in a dream. It was ironic that the person who caused the most damage and hurt walked away as if they were the innocent party. I forgave her and went back so many times, yet I'm still the one who was played in the end. Brittany's words kept repeating in my head, and with every replay, my heart broke into even more pieces. "I'm letting you go now, and you need to let me go." What if I don't want to let go? What if I can't let go? Before I could ask myself any more questions, the bell rang, jolting me awake.
I glanced at my phone; it was 6 am. I sat up in bed, running my fingers through my tangled hair. The dream still clung to me like a second skin, and I couldn't shake the empty feeling in my chest. I couldn't keep my tears at bay anymore, and they just started falling. "I miss her so much it hurts me. Why do I keep letting her in when she leaves me more broken than before?" I muttered to myself. My thoughts kept drifting back to the dream and Brittany's words. I wiped my tears and took a couple of deep breaths because my day had to go on.
I decided to start my day earlier than usual since I was already awake and needed to keep my mind off Brittany and my dream. I grabbed my phone and noticed a few messages from friends who had been checking in on me since the divorce. One message thread stood out: a new group chat with Sam, Kurt, and Hunter. Sam, an old friend from Glee Club, had just moved to New York a few months ago and had been trying to hang out with me. Hunter is one of my best friends here in New York and she has been a shoulder for me to lean on.
Sam texted in the group chat, "Hey Satan, it's Sam." I rolled my eyes at that because, obviously, I knew it was him. "Haven't heard from you in a bit and was wondering if you wanted to grab brunch tomorrow? I know a great place. The invite extends to you guys too, Hunter and Kurt." Hunter and Kurt both hearted the message, and Sam sent the address and time for the restaurant.
I couldn't help but smile. Sam always knew how to lift my spirits, even if just by a little bit. I typed out a quick reply confirming I would be there. I typed in the address, and it was only a five-minute walk from my apartment, which was perfect. I hate the subway and driving, so I try to walk whenever I can.
With a few hours to kill before brunch, I decided to make the most of my morning. I started brewing my coffee, and while I was waiting, I hopped in the shower so I wouldn't have to worry about it later.
After my shower and grabbing a cup of strongly brewed coffee, I settled on the couch with my laptop to catch up on some cases. Being a family lawyer, specifically focusing on divorces, meant I had plenty of cases to review. Ironically, helping others navigate the end of their own relationships felt like some twisted form of therapy for my own heartbreak. As I sorted through my case files, my mind kept drifting between my dream about Brittany and my brunch plans. It had been a while since I felt like socializing with my friends, and the thought of hanging out with Kurt, Hunter, and Sam came as a welcome distraction. I knew they would find some way to make me laugh.
After an hour or so of working, I decided to start getting ready. The address Sam sent didn't have the actual name of the restaurant, so I was unsure of what the vibe would be. Obviously, it was just brunch, so I didn't need to dress to kill—just to catch a few eyes. It had been a while since I wore anything other than sweats, tights, or work outfits, so hopefully, I could pull something together.
It only took 45 minutes and my entire wardrobe on the ground, but I finally decided on cargo pants, a crop top, a light jacket, and some Boston clogs. I just had to do my makeup, which shouldn't take too long because I was going for a natural look. I checked my phone, and it was about time to head over, so I sprayed my perfume, grabbed my purse and keys, and started the walk to the mystery brunch spot. I could always trust Sam to find random hole-in-the-wall food places.
As I walked through the busy streets of New York, I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness about seeing my friends again after a few weeks and a little curiosity about where we were eating. The city was alive with its usual Saturday morning energy. People rushed to their destinations, vendors set up for the lunch rush, and various sounds of different musicians filled the air. Walking through the streets always reminded me why I loved living here, despite the chaos.
Approaching the address Sam sent, I noticed the sign hanging above the door, "Purple Magnolia Haze." It sounded familiar, but I couldn't place where or why I would have seen it before. Stepping closer, I could smell waffles and barbecue—a strange choice for brunch, but my stomach growled in response.
I pushed open the door and stepped inside, scanning the room for my friends, and that's when I saw her. Quinn. The memories from our initial encounter came rushing back, and my heart skipped a beat. She glanced up, and our eyes locked for a brief moment before she turned her attention to a customer. It was enough to make me feel butterflies, though.
I spotted the Three Stooges at a cozy corner table, waving me over. I made my way to them, trying to tame the butterflies in my stomach.
"Hey stranger!" Sam greeted, pulling me into a bear hug against my will. "Long time no see."
I patted his back, hoping he'd loosen his grip. "You might never see me again if you don't loosen your grip," I managed to get out between breaths, and he loosened his grip and laughed. "I've missed you guys a lot. How did you find this place, Sam?"
"Honestly, pure luck. I followed my nose and stomach," Sam joked. "Plus, this place also sells pre-rolls so we can light up before we eat," he added as an afterthought.
"Woah. So we're not just going to gloss over that, right guys?" Kurt questioned in that high-pitched voice of his.
"If you would've told me beforehand, I would've waited to smoke with you guys," Hunter added nonchalantly.
"I guess we are," Kurt started to no one in particular. As we all settled into the conversation, I couldn't help but sneak glances toward the counter where Quinn was working. There was something about her presence that was comforting and intriguing.
"Sooo Santana," Kurt started, drawing my attention back to the conversation. "How's the lawyering going? Any messy divorces we can hear about?"
I laughed. "There haven't been any messy divorces lately. They've all been pretty cut and dry. But at least it's been keeping my mind busy during the day."
"I still can't believe you're a lawyer, San," Sam said, shaking his head. "I mean, I can because you were always the badass Lima Heights Adjacent cheerleader. I guess now you're the badass lawyer."
I shrugged. "What can I say? People change and find their true calling. For me, that's getting the wife all the assets." We all started laughing.
"So you mean to tell me she's always been this stubborn and sassy?" Hunter asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yes," everyone at the table answered in unison, prompting another round of laughter.
Our laughter drew Quinn over. "Hey guys," she greeted the table before turning to me. "Hey Santana. How are you doing today? How's everyone doing today?" She asked out loud but kept her eyes locked on mine.
Hunter cleared her throat. "We'll be doing so much better once we hear some of your recommendations for food. And pre-rolls?" she added in a whisper. Quinn chuckled and broke eye contact, giving recommendations to everyone except me.
After taking everyone's orders, she turned to me again. "I actually have something special just for you. I've been waiting for you to come back. I'll have the waitress bring over drinks and those pre-rolls for you guys. It was nice seeing you again, San." Before she could walk away, I grabbed her hand.
"It was nice seeing you too," was all I could manage to say. I inwardly face palmed because that was not smooth. She gave me one of her beautiful smiles anyway and walked away. I could feel my cheeks burning and the eyes of my friends boring holes into the side of my face. "What?"
"That was…interesting," Kurt said with a smirk. "Someone you know, Santana?"
I could feel my cheeks burn even more, but I tried to remain calm and answer as casually as I could. "Just met her recently, actually. Stumbled on the place one day after sulking at home all day. She owns the place." I looked around at the knowing smirks. "It's nothing like that, I've only met her once."
"Yet you know her name, the fact she owns the place, and she's making a special dish for you?" Hunter questioned me with a smirk. "And you've only met once? What's that in lesbian time? Two years?"
Kurt started laughing uncontrollably, earning a glare from me. "I'm sorry, Santana. It was funny. Besides, she's right. You never remember anyone's name after the first meeting."
I rolled my eyes at Kurt and Hunter's antics, trying to hide my growing embarrassment. Just before I could respond, the waitress brought over a tray of mimosas and pre-rolls. "These are on Quinn."
"Nothing there?" Sam raised his eyebrows with a smirk, earning small chuckles from the other two.
"Not you too, Sam!" I let out an exasperated sigh and crossed my arms.
"I'm just teasing, Satan," he gave me a little nudge and handed me a drink and roll. Sam began passing out the drinks and rolls. "Cheers to getting the band back together!" We all laughed and clinked our glasses and took a sip.
About 15 minutes, two mimosas, and four pre-rolls later, the food came out, and we were absolutely toasted. Hunter's eyes lit up. "Holy fuck, this food looks amazing!"
"Just wait until you taste it. It will literally make you feel like your mouth is having an orgasm," i said and this caused us to burst out laughing again. "Wanky." The waitress finished handing out everyone's food, but I didn't get my plate. I raised my eyebrows, confused.
"Quinn is finishing yours up and will bring it out any minute," the waitress answered my unasked question and walked away. I settled back in my chair, feeling the buzz of the mimosas and pre-rolls. My friends were already diving into their meals, making appreciative noises and exchanging bites.
Hunter looked up at me, mouth full of food, and fork extended. "San, you have to try this."
I laughed. "Thanks, but I'm going to wait for my food to come out." I took a sip of water and couldn't help but glance towards the kitchen. My anticipation and crankiness were growing with each second I didn't have food.
Finally, Quinn emerged from the kitchen carrying a beautifully arranged plate. As she approached the table, she gave me a warm smile. "Sorry it took so long, San. I wanted to make sure everything was perfect." She glanced around. "I mean, I made sure everyone's food was perfect." She added as an afterthought. "I hope you guys enjoy the food." Before I could thank her, she walked away.
I ignored all the chuckles and sly comments because I was starving and ready to eat. I took a bite and, "Oh my fucking God, this is amazing." I let everyone have a bite, and the consensus was the same. "I knew the girl could cook, but this is...I don't even have words to describe it."
"We have to come back to your girlfriend's restaurant," Hunter joked, earning laughs from Kurt and Sam. I rolled my eyes and continued eating because I'd be the luckiest person if she were my girlfriend.
As we continued eating, the conversation flowed easily, and the laughter was never-ending. But I couldn't help but steal glances at Quinn, wondering if maybe us meeting wasn't a coincidence.
p.s. I didn't realize I said "2-3 days" I meant weeks for the new updates. Sorry about that.