Hey, everyone. Sorry again for the delays - I'm not getting out of court much these days. This one is being posted early because I have court in an hour, in fact. I'm working on the end when I get free moments here and there, but while we've slowed down, it is still coming. Hope you like this next piece - we're in the more day-to-day part of the story now, which I hope everyone likes. Frankly, writing these bits are some of my favorite parts, which you probably notice because it's a lot of the story at this point. I like the little rhythms of relationships, and sometimes wish stories did them more. If you agree, then welcome, lol. Alright, here we go.

On good nights, Bo dreamt about apples.

She didn't notice it was happening at first. The apples weren't always the focal point of the dream; sometimes they would just be there, easily overlooked. Sometimes they were more important, playing a critical role in whatever convoluted story was playing in Bo's subconscious.

She had a dream that she and Kenzi were selling apples at a used car lot in Brazil, but neither of them could remember the Gaelic word for apple, which shouldn't have been an issue since in Brazil they speak Portuguese, but whatever. The story went quickly off the rails after that, and when she woke up she couldn't remember much of it, but it made Bo happy in some strange, undefinable way. It was the kind of dream that you knew was good, even if you couldn't call up the details.

After that dream, Bo started to notice the pattern. If there was an apple, it was a good dream.

On bad nights, there were no apples.

The stories changed, but the feeling was strangely consistent. Bo would wake up, feeling clammy and cold, but oddly hot at the same time, with her heart pounding and her breath short. The bedroom would be dim, the only light coming from the TV asking them, yet again, are you still watching or what? I mean, seriously, what's the deal?, as for some reason, neither Bo nor Lauren had bothered to set the sleep timer. Bo would turn off the TV and quietly slip out of the room get water.

She would splash it on her face, gulp down a glass. She would take a few minutes to assess. If she could, she would gather herself and slip back into bed. If she couldn't, she would sneak to the closet and get changed, heading out for a run.

Her route changed day to day. She actively avoided the neighborhood she had spent so much time in before; she knew it wasn't healthy, and that she had to find ways to move forward without fixating on it.

The activity helped her, the feeling of her muscles burning with work, the sweat on her face and back. The exertion forced her focus back to herself, back to her own physical limits. Over time the distance she needed to run to make the anxiety recede shortened, even as her ability to cover more distance increased. She found that she started even enjoying running not for the escapism from her own racing thoughts, but for its own merits.

On a Monday morning Bo woke up from a dream when Lauren was making apple pie, and for some reason the gas station three miles from their house, where she was baking, was full of orange stuffed animals. Her alarm sounded loudly just as Lauren was pulling the pie out of a large sand castle that had replaced the bookcase – though why she was baking in a bookcase was unclear, despite it making perfect sense to Bo in the moment – and Bo shut the alarm off with a slight smile on her face.

She felt Lauren rub her arm as she placed the phone back on the nightstand, and she turned to say good morning.

"You didn't have a nightmare," Lauren mumbled, sleep still heavy on the edges of her voice.

Bo smiled more fully, her brain already alerting into the day, looking at Lauren who was already drifting slightly, resisting being awake. "How do you know that?"

"TV's on," Lauren said before releasing a small yawn and stretching. "You didn't wake up and turn it off."

Bo felt affection swell in her chest, because of course Lauren had picked up on her new patterns. And how incredible was that? To have someone in your life who paid attention to you with that level of concern and detail. "No nightmares," Bo confirmed. She leaned forward and dropped a soft kiss on Lauren's sleep-warmed cheek.

Bo confirmed that the second alarm was still set for Lauren, even though she knew Lauren would get up before it went off. She went to the kitchen and started the coffeepot, starting her morning routine. Once completed, she poured their mugs and walked back, resting Lauren's on her bedside table before carrying her own with her into the bathroom.

She continued with the quiet, predicable rhythms of the morning, stealing sips of coffee when possible, and started the shower, giving it time to warm. When it was ready, she stripped her clothes and tossed them in the hamper before stepping in.

As she washed her hair she heard the bathroom door open and Lauren enter.

"Thank you for the coffee," Lauren said as Bo heard the sink come on, Lauren preparing to brush her teeth. Bo smiled. Even this routine was familiar - Bo leaving coffee, Lauren taking the time to say 'thank you'.

"I mean if you really wanted to say 'thank you', you could just come get in the shower," Bo quipped back.

"Someone's perky for a Monday morning," Lauren answered, and Bo could hear the smile in her voice.

"I didn't hear a no," Bo replied playfully.

A moment later the shower curtain opened and Bo opened her eyes to see Lauren lean in on the end furthest from the spray. She gave Bo a long up and down look, grinning. "No," she said, stepping back out.

A light laugh came from Bo. "Evil."

Bo finished her shower. When she stepped out, Lauren wasn't in the room. She would be letting Zeus out right now, finishing her coffee with the news on. Bo grabbed a tee shirt from the dryer and pulled it on. It was Lauren's, short on her, but good enough. She pulled on a pair of underwear as well before combing her fingers through her hair and gathering it loosely. She headed to the bedroom to start making the bed.

She had just finished putting the pillows in place when Zeus bounded in happily, his tail waving as he bid her good morning with a cold, wet nose against Bo's thigh.

Bo gave him a scratch behind the ears, that quickly developed into a belly rub. Bo heard Lauren enter the shower a few minutes later, and Bo walked back in, beginning to apply makeup.

"I'm just saying, you could already be done with this shower if you had just come in with me," Bo commented.

"Please, there's no chance I would be done."

Bo paused. "That's what she said?"

"Was that a question?" Lauren said with a laugh.

"I couldn't decide if what you said was dirty or not," Bo answered, applying eye shadow.

"Maybe it's time to find a new show."

Bo smiled as she continued with her routine, a buzz of contentment in her limbs. "How's your week look?"

"The usual," Lauren answered. "You?"

"Busy," Bo replied. "I might have to work late a few days, if that's alright."

"It's not."

Bo paused her makeup application. "It isn't?"

"No. That totally sucks."

"That's what she said."

"We're starting a new show tonight, I swear," Lauren shot back.

Bo finished with her makeup and walked back to the kitchen, carrying her mug. She found Lauren's in the sink and she quickly washed them both. She then filled her and Lauren's travel mugs and turned off the pot, washing it as well.

When she returned to the bathroom to start drying her hair, she found Lauren leaning forward as she put on makeup. Bo smiled when she noticed that Lauren had grabbed a tee shirt from the dryer as well, though it was Bo's, and smiled more broadly when she saw Lauren had skipped the secondary step of underwear.

She stepped close behind Lauren, her hand sliding over Lauren's skin. "I like this new look," Bo said, playfully, her fingers flexing slightly on Lauren's flesh.

Lauren smiled as Bo stepped closer, mirroring her hand on the other side of Lauren's waist. She stayed bent over, giving her hips a slight move and watching Bo's eyes darken by a shade.

"Thank you for the coffee," Lauren said lightly, not acknowledging Bo's hands.

"It wasn't that virtuous," Bo replied, her fingers tracing light patterns on Lauren's hips. "I just like it when you're half naked and in a good mood."

"Seeing you half naked puts me in a good mood," Lauren answered, straightening to give Bo a quick kiss over her shoulder. "But the coffee was a nice bonus." She returned to her makeup a moment later. Bo stepped back slightly, bending over to retrieve her hairdryer.

"Hey, what's that?" Lauren asked.

Bo paused, dryer in hand, looking around. "What?"

Lauren stepped over to Bo, her hand quickly snaking up under Bo's shirt, fingers curling around Bo's left breast. She leaned forward and kissed Bo, her tongue running quickly over Bo's as she squeezed gently. "Oh, nothing, never mind," she finished, stepping back.

Lauren returned to her makeup, seeing Bo hesitate behind her. After a beat of quiet, Lauren laughed. "Stop trying to calculate if we have enough time to have sex before work. We don't."

"You started it," Bo muttered back.

"Would it help if I went and put on underwear?" Lauren offered.

"When has that ever helped anything?" Bo plugged in the hair dryer and grabbed her brush.

Lauren put her makeup down, crossing to Bo again. She reached a hand into Bo's underwear and used one finger to give a quick stroke against Bo, while simultaneously giving her a deep kiss. Just as Bo tried to angle closer, Lauren stepped back. "I'm going to go get dressed," she said as she turned to walk back to the bedroom.

"See? Evil," Bo muttered as Lauren left the room with a laugh.

A short while later, Lauren came into the living room, dressed for work. She found Bo, who was sitting at the counter and finishing a piece of toast while she watched the news. Bo ran her eyes over Lauren, taking in her professional attire, and shook her head.

"I mean, you look nice, but I like your first morning look better," Bo said, walking to retrieve the toast she had made for Lauren.

"The hospital asked me to stop working naked," Lauren replied absently, fitting an earing in her right ear while watching the end of the news story.

"There's no way that happened," Bo replied as she passed Lauren the slightly burnt piece of toast.

Lauren quirked a smile. "Thank you for the concept of breakfast," she said lightly, taking a small bite and trying to suppress her face's reaction to the burnt bread.

"I don't mind," Bo replied. "Plus, I have this suspicion that if I keep doing little things for you, there's a chance I can see you without pants again later."

Lauren dropped the toast back to the plate, almost laughing when the charred edges made a noise upon hitting the dish. She walked to Bo and looked into her eyes, running a finger down the side of her face, over her collarbone, down to her breast. Her eyes tracked the movement. "I'd say you'd definitely see me without pants later, but you have to work late." She leaned in and gave Bo a light kiss. "Too bad, really."

Bo stood, dumfounded, her brain short circuiting.

Lauren threw away the rest of the toast and smiled at Bo brightly. "Come on, we have to leave or we'll be late for work," she said, walking towards the door.

She grabbed her keys and turned back when she didn't hear Bo following her. Bo remained where she had been standing, shaking her head. "So. Damn. Evil," Bo commented, stepping forward to follow Lauren.

Lauren couldn't stop her laugh as they walked out the door.

When Bo got home, the apartment was dark. She cringed as she eased the door open. She hadn't meant to get home this late; time had just gotten away from her. When Lauren had texted her at eight she had been shocked to see the time. She had left as soon as she could after, but still. She was somewhat surprised at the quietness of the house, but when she went inside she saw that Lauren was still awake, on the couch with a book, a light on beside her.

When she heard Bo, she looked up, worry on her face. "Hey, how was your day?" Lauren's tone felt false, and Bo immediately registered that she was trying to hard to keep her voice light and easy. It was a such a change from the lightness of the morning, the playful flirting that had dominated their time together. She quietly hated herself for causing the change in feeling in Lauren. She dropped to the couch beside her.

"I'm so, so sorry. I really just lost track of time." She ran a hand through Lauren's hair, hoping the action was soothing.

Lauren studied her for a moment, not replying.

"I swear," Bo continued when Lauren didn't speak. "Everything is fine. I'm fine."

As soon as the word 'fine' left her mouth she saw Lauren flinch and she recognized her error.

She grasped Lauren's hand. "I was getting work done, and I lost track of what time it was. No bad cases came in today, or at least none like…that. I was thoughtless and careless, and I should have called, but I promise you that there is nothing to worry about.

She saw Lauren release a breath. "I just…when I didn't hear from you, I worried –"

Bo put up a hand to cut Lauren off. "I know, I know. I'm so sorry, I –"

Now Bo was cut off when Lauren quickly leaned in, taking Bo's face in her hands and kissing her. They lingered for a moment, and then Lauren leaned back. "You don't need to apologize. I'm just afraid to lose you again."

Bo brushed back the hair from Lauren's face. "You didn't lose me."

"I did, though. For a while I did."

Bo thought about this for a moment. She thought about the darkness of those days, of the distance she felt between herself and the world. She remembered how she had closed herself off in an effort to protect Lauren. She remember standing in this very room, feeling her relationship with Lauren, the brightest spot she could ever remember having in her life, crashing down around her in spectacular and searing flames. She remembered the numbness that dominated her mind and how she had retreated from all of it, from Lauren. "Okay, yeah, I guess for a while you did. I'm sorry."

"I don't need you to be sorry, Bo," Lauren said, gently.

Bo took a breath. "Then…what do you need me to be?" It was an inartful question, Bo knew. But at that moment she knew she would do anything Lauren said. She would do anything to make this better for Lauren and to try to fix this situation. If Lauren told her to become a flying smurf, she would paint herself blue and head to the roof.

Lauren was quiet. When she spoke, her voice was almost a whisper. "Here."

Something about the simplicity of the answer, the directness, the naked vulnerability, made Bo still.

Such a quiet thing, so seemingly insignificant. So monumentally and seismically different than anything anyone had wanted from her before.

She wished for a moment that she had been in therapy longer, that she would have words to answer Lauren back and really explain what was happening to her in that moment. If there was a way to make her understand how such a simple thing had affected her. If she could somehow express that in her entire life she could think of approximate two people who had ever thought 'here' was enough. How those two people should have been her parents, but her parents preferred for Bo to be 'gone'…but Bo didn't have the words. She barely had the concept within herself, and the words were still miles away.

"Okay," she said when it was clear that no more words were coming. "Okay. I'm here."

"All of you?"

Bo's heart swelled almost painfully as she nodded. "Yes. I'm all here."

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