My mind began to fill with possibilities of what Edward could explain to me. Archaic laws rang in my head. What could that even mean, do I even want to know? The fact that he pulled over made me more nervous than before. I recognize that the existence of vampires may not be well advertised in our time. Therefore, I can imagine there are certain practices they must follow. However, I am not sure if those practices are human friendly.
Edward sat back down in the now stationary vehicle. He turned on the heat for me after noting my bone white knuckles. The heating provided temporary relief to my shivering. At this time, I cannot blame my shivering on the weather. I bit my lip anticipating the worst.
"Please Bella, do not worry about this" He pleaded, "I just want to ensure we are both on the same page". I nodded.
"We have been around for centuries, hell, maybe before the dawn of time. I am not certain. What I am certain about is that humans are not very… welcomed. Before Carlisle's time, mass hysteria ran across England and spread throughout Europe. Many campaigns to seek "creatures" were proposed and brought to fruition. As a result of all this, the Volturi created our law to assume our safety and protection". Edward took notice of my confused expression.
"The Volturi are a very powerful family within our kind. They are the oldest living vampires that we know of. They have fought through civil wars amongst others to keep us alive, if that is even what we are anyways" he explained coolly. "As mentioned, humans are not taken very kindly. I have heard stories" He swallowed, "in which do not end very well. Hence my hesitation to discuss any of this with you. Though, you set yourself apart from the rest for one single reason".
"Which reason is that?" I asked.
"Again, you figured this out on your own. I did not expose myself to you nor did I explicitly state my status of my species. Which now leaves me with great uncertainty on whether or not a visit from the Volturi is to be expected" He looked out the window visibly trying to avoid eye contact with me.
"What do you mean visit?" I responded rather vehemently in fear of what could happen.
"THAT IS THE PART THAT IS KILLING ME BELLA!" He shouted "I do not know if I have to worry about you, about my family, about our secret. What I do know is that I am madly in love with you. I will do anything to protect you. It has been treacherous attempting to keep my distance from you. Do you not understand that? I apologize for my mood swings. It is nothing that you have said or done. I want you, I need you. Until recently, my "life" has been merelessy worthless. I now have something- someone to look after besides myself. Our future, Alice, she has seen it. Which provides me with much needed hope. Though, the future is always unstable. Can you please give me grace and understand where I am coming from?" He concluded with a passionate sigh.
His words churned and churned into my head. He expressed many things all at once. Never have I heard him speak for so long and so passionately. Hearing the words "our future" made it easy to ignore my possible impending demise at the hands of the Volturi. If there is a future with Edward, I am willing to deal with whatever it takes.
Edward reached into the glove compartment and handed me a handkerchief with the letter "C" embroidered. I was confused. "Bella, you are crying, please take this". I looked into the mirror and saw tears streaming down my face. I was so enthralled with his words that my emotional reaction had not caught up to me yet. I took the handkerchief into my hands.
"I am so sorry Bella, what did I do?" Edward carefully grabbed my free hand.
"Oh Edward, what do you mean? You have done nothing. It's me! I am the problem. If I had never moved to this stupid town I would have never caused this much conflict. Now I am responsible for you and my life, and your families too!" I sobbed. When I first made the decision to move to Forks, I thought it would be a resolution for everyone. Renee can be happy with Phil, Charlie could finally have some company and I, well, I could just make do. I have never foreseen myself to put someone's existence, or my own for that matter, at risk. It was my fault for prying, for persisting, for asking too many questions. Edward tightened his grip on me.
"Do me the kind favor of never speaking so negatively about yourself ever again. You are nothing but a gift to me, to Charlie, to this world. You have nothing to apologize for. I will do everything in my power to keep you by my side, I swear it. Bella, this is what I was afraid our conversation would turn out like this if I explained everything. Though I am glad everything has been spoken out loud. It was prudent for you to know my true feelings about you. It was also important for you to know the 'rules' we have. I do not want you to worry about that. I know it sounds impossible, but my family and I can deal with it. Now please, dry those beautiful eyes. Can you do that for me? I promise nothing will come between us. It is just you and me" He kissed my hand delicately.
I sniffed and nodded. There was no summation of sentences I could say that would help Edward understand me. I could not help but feel responsible for any sort of turmoil that could arise.
"Okay" was all I managed to say as I wiped more tears away. He carefully reached for my chin and looked into my eyes. Edwards golden eyes provided me with a glimmer of hope, of comfort. I felt cold lips press against my forehead. For now, I know I had to feel better, I had to suck it up.
"Let's get you home" he declared as he made his way out of the view point.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I did not see the Chief's cruiser on the driveway. One less thing to worry about.
I made my way inside quickly before Charlie could arrive. My now soaked jeans were chaffing my thighs. Tension ran throughout my shoulders from the four hour drive. The conversation with Edward was not the ideal night cap. Agh! I need to wash this night off of me. Slowly, I made my way up the stairs dragging my very damp jacket on the floor. A whirlpool of emotions circled my head. Edward confessed love for me but within the same sentence said my life could be in possible danger but not to worry about it because he has control. What am I supposed to think? It is not like I can just kick back and relax while he smooths things out with whoever it is. I. must. stop. thinking.
With much haste I took my clothes off and tossed them into the hamper. I brushed the knotts from my hair and turned the shower on. The steam began to ease my stress. I let the water cascade down my shoulders and back. Breathe Bella, breathe. The idea of my sweatpants and sweater waiting for me calmed me down. Just relax.
"Bella?" Charlie called out from the living room. Who else?
"Hey dad" I responded with a heavy sigh walking down the stairs in hopes Charlie is not in a chatty mood tonight.
"Long drive huh? You and Angela should have pulled over somewhere. Would rather you kids stay somewhere than drive tired" Charlie said rather fatherly of him.
"Yeah- well. Thanks, I guess. There was no need though" I stumbled with my words trying to formulate the best way to introduce Edward into this. "See, Ch- dad, Angela couldn't make it. So, I had another friend go with me. You know, better gas mileage and all…" My voice trailed off a little too obvious.
"Friend?" Charlie raised an eyebrow while pulling off his jacket and placing it on the rack.
"Yeah, my friend. Uh- Edward Cu-Cullen. Dr. Cullen's son" I said in attempt to sound confident.
"Edward Cullen? The hair boy?" Charlie looked at me rather concerned.
"Yeah. Since the almost accident, we have more in common than what we thought. His sister, Alice, begged him to hit the shops. She is a fashion freak. Once he caught wind that I was going, he uh, invited himself basically. Angela backed out last minute this morning before you left. Mr. and Mrs. Weber had an unexpected outing. So, well, it just worked out that way" I concluded with a smile. Do not freak, do not freak, do not freak.
Charlie stood silently with a puzzled but calm look on his face. "Well, that's good, uh, I guess. Good kids those Cullens. Just wish you had told me sooner I suppose" he walked towards the friend and cracked a beer.
"Yeah, sorry. Angela called after you left. I figured I would beat you home and then tell you. I hope that is okay" I stammered. Yikes, was this the first boy-talk with Dad?
"It's alright honey. I am just a dad, it is my nature to worry" He smiled, took a sip and crashed on the couch. As a peace offering, I heated up the leftover enchiladas for him and I. We ate while watching the game, in silence. What a difference. Renee would have pestered me with a million questions about Edward, Seattle, more Edward but with Charlie, it is bliss. All this worry and stress for nothing.
After finishing the dishes, I excused myself to my room. I needed some alone time with my thoughts and CD player. When I opened my door, I first saw my window opened and a perfect Edward on my bed…