Chapter 5 Opinions

Roy took his sweet time finishing his breakfast, and he noticed his siblings were following his example. He chewed so slowly it was like he had been digitally slowed down. Despite his slow speed, it felt like time was moving at an extra fast pace. The clock cruelly breezed through the next few minutes, which in turn made Roy's heart pump.

He didn't want to go on another kidnapping mission. He really didn't. Sure, he had been truthful when he said that he wanted to use the body he built to defeat Mario. But that was the thing; his muskles could only do so much. Despite having an inordinately large helping of belly fat, Mario was strong. He was also fast, calculated, and overall a big nuisance. Even though Roy would openly admit that he wasn't the smartest koopa on the planet, even he wasn't stupid enough to think that he was going to defeat Mario this time around. No, more than likely Mario was going to pound his face in. More than likely, he would go through another embarrassing and disheartening loss. Was that appealing? Not in the slightest.

As such, he went at a snail's pace as he chewed on the rest of his pancakes. As he reached the last few bites, he made sure to take tiny nibbles out of them in an attempt to make time by go even slower. A noble attempt, all things considered, but it wasn't nearly enough. Roy eventually finished his pancakes, as did his siblings. When they did, they all set around the table, frowning and refusing to look at each other.

"Well…" Roy cleared his throat. "Now we go to Bowser, right?"

Iggy sighed. "I suppose it's a necessity at this point." He pushed his chair back and stood up. "Even though getting downtrodden by Mario is the least appealing activity right now."

Roy blinked. "Downtrodden? What does that mean?" He thought about this for a minute. "Does it have anything to do with horses? Horses trot all the time."

Iggy gave Roy a long stare before sighing and closing his eyes. All the while, Lemmy giggled from his spot beside Roy.

"That's actually pretty good, Roy!" Lemmy said. "I think it could make for a good premise for a joke!"

Roy blinked at his immediate older brother. "You sure?"

Lemmy's eyes glittered. "Of horse!" Lemmy burst into laughter, with no one else at the table joining in. In Roy's case, he didn't do it because he attempted to wrap his head around the joke. For everyone else, they just sat there rolling their eyes.

"Great. Just… that's great Lems. Real funny." Ludwig, like Iggy before him, pushed his chair back and stood up. "Anyway, we should probably get going. We've done all we can to stall; if we take any longer, Bowser's not going to be happy."

The others nodded. Morton, Lemmy, Iggy, and Ludwig left the room, leaving Roy and Wendy behind. Without moving an inch away from the table, Roy sighed. He looked at his sister, who had actually done a good job applying her makeup. He smiled at her.

"Hey! You look really nice, Wen; good job!"

"Thanks!" As soon as Wendy said that, her face fell. "Although, it probably won't matter. Knowing how things go, Mario and Luigi are probably going to give me at least one black eye."

Roy's heart sank. "Yeah…" He got up from his chair, offering his hand to Wendy. She took it, and they walked slowly out of the dining room toward the garage. They did so slowly, similar to how all the Koopalings finished their breakfast slowly. Roy didn't mind that, but what he did mind was the silence. Silences were for the weak! They were uncomfortable, and they offered nothing of value. Like, what was the point of having a mouth if you weren't going to use it to talk?

"It's going to be alright," Roy said. "I mean, Mario tends to hold back when it comes to his beatings. So, it's not like we're going to walk away from the fights dead!"

Wendy snorted. "Oh, now that's comforting!"

Roy blinked. "Uh… is that sarcasm?" For some reason, throughout most of his life, Roy had trouble picking up on that stuff. Maybe that was part of the reason why Ludwig and him weren't best buds. Well, that and the fact that Ludwig was the most sour of sourpusses.

"Yes, Roy," Wendy said. Much to Roy's relief, she didn't sound angry (Ludwig often sounded angry when Roy didn't pick up on sarcasm, so hearing someone not react this way was actually kind of refreshing). "I just…" she sighed. "Nothing that anyone can do or say will get rid of the fact that fighting Mario is a lost cause. He's probably better at fighting than all seven of us combined."

Roy frowned. "I think he's even better than Bowser too, considering how many times he whoops his butt."

"Exactly!" Wendy bit her lip. "And I know that Bowser is doing this for a good cause; I'm completely aware of that. I don't blame him for wanting to give Junior a mother. But… there are ways to do that without putting both him and his family through the wringer, you know?"

Roy blinked. "So… wait, do you think Bowser should try online dating or something?"

"Uh… yeah!" She looked Roy in the eye. "That sounds like a great idea, actually! Sure, some of the people who try online dating are sketchy." She snickered. "But so is Bowser, so he'd find a perfect match within no time."

Roy laughed at that (he might be bad at picking up sarcasm, but he could understand what was a joke every once in a while). As he laughed, he thought about what Wendy said, realizing more and more how right she was. Really, Bowser should try online dating! He should try going to bars to pick up women; he'd catch a lot of fish if he threw his net in that section of the ocean. Hell, if he wanted a woman who was a lot nicer, he could even go to a local church! Or a movie theater, or a bowling alley… there were a lot of different ways Bowser could catch women if he just stepped away from his Princess Peach obsession for a little bit. This was especially true because he was the King; if he commanded any girl in the Koopa Kingdom to be his wife, they would be his wife! No questions asked!

But of course, Bowser just had to keep going for the girl who had made it clear multiple times that nothing was going to happen between them. It made Roy sad, honestly. Not just for himself, but also for his father; he had to realize how unhealthy this was, right? He had to know that the wish he had been holding onto for half a decade wasn't going to come true, right? Cause if he didn't, he would be stuck in an endless loop, in a swirl of frustration and physical injury.

Roy's insides squirmed just thinking about that fact. "Let's pick up the pace, shall we?"

Wendy nodded, and they both sprinted toward the garage. When they got there, they saw Bowser and the other Koopalings waiting on the ground, with Bowser beaming when he saw Roy and Wendy. They made their way over to him, and he let out a breath. His eyes glittered when he looked upon his adopted children.

"Well everyone, it's that time again." He laughed. "Now, I know that you all have certain… opinions about the kidnapping missions. And honestly, I don't blame you for that in the slightest."

Roy noticed blue flames igniting around Ludwig's hands, and for the first time, Roy actually shared in his brother's anger. Oh, so Bowser WAS aware of how much the Koopalings didn't like doing this? Well, then, WHY THE FUCK WAS HE STILL MAKING THEM DO THIS? What was wrong with him? He obviously loved the Koopalings; there wasn't a doubt in Roy's mind that their father loved them with all of his heart. So why did he keep making them do this? A lot of injuries and mental anguish could be prevented if Bowser decided to bring these kidnapping missions to a stop. Just saying…

"But as I told you guys in the dining hall, I think you'll do great!" Bowser smiled, his teeth sparkling so much that Roy wondered if he had whitened them. "The combat skills you guys showed me last night were… well, they were absolutely incredible! You guys lived up to your full potential last night, in ways that just makes me more and more proud the more I think about it!" He grinned, the parental pride noticeable to anyone with eyes. "You guys kicked some serious ass."

Okay, Roy actually did feel a little warm and fuzzy on the inside upon hearing that. He didn't know why, but hearing Bowser praise him and his siblings always made him feel good. It didn't matter if he did it often, it didn't matter if he got all mushy and gushy when he did. Roy still loved hearing their father compliment them, and he ESPECIALLY loved it when Bowser admitted that he was proud of them.

"So, if you guys apply even a fraction of the effort from last night into your battles with Mario, then I know you guys will succeed." His grin grew even bigger. "I believe in you guys. I've always believed in you guys."

Now Roy smiled, and he had to use all of his self control to not delve into a giggling fit. Bowser was so nice! He was the nicest father that anyone could ever ask for! So what if the Koopalings were adopted; they hit the jackpot when it came to their parent (probably more so than their biological parents, but Roy didn't want to think about that right now. Remembering the circumstances of how Bowser came to adopt them made him sad)!

These words seemed to have a positive effect on the other Koopalings too. The flames around Ludwig's hands went out, and they all exchanged looks that were at least somewhat hopeful. Sure, looking into their faces still gave off the sense that they would rather dig their eyeballs out with spoons instead of fighting Mario. But still, inspiration was inspiration no matter where it came from.

"So," Bowser said. "Are you guys ready for this?"

"Yes sir!" The Koopalings exclaimed.

"Good!" Bowser chuckled, puffing out his chest as he crossed the his arms. "You guys got this! All six of you do!" When he said that, he blinked. "Wait." He counted each of his present children before his face fell. "There are only six of you. Where's Larry?"

The Koopalings blinked. "Huh. Good question," Iggy said. His and everyone else's eyes scanned over the garage, with Iggy looking more and more disappointed when he didn't catch a glimpse of the youngest Koopaling. "That's odd."

"Now that I think about it," Lemmy said as he put his hand to his chin. "He wasn't at the breakfast table either, was he?"

Bowser sighed and pinched his brow. "Of course," he uttered. He looked at Roy. "Roy, could you go find Larry and bring him here?"

Roy perked up. Ooh, Bowser was asking him to do a task! He trusted Roy's abilities enough to think he could do this!

"Sure thing, Bowser!" He gave a salute and made his way out of the garage before the Koopalings could make any comments or quips at his expense. When back in the castle, Roy broke out into a run. He had a pretty good idea of where Larry could be; that being, his room. That made the most sense, right? That would be where Larry was hanging out, right?

Well, he was about to find out. He ran toward the east wing, climbing the stairs two at a time. When he got to the second floor hallway, he made a beeline for Larry's room. When he opened the door, he let out a breath of relief. There was Larry, laying on the bed as he played on the Nintendo Switch. He smirked while doing so, looking like he believed himself to be the most awesome koopa in existence.

"Larry?" Roy asked.

"What's up, big guy?"

Roy hesitated. "Uh, I don't know if you've forgotten, but we're doing a kidnapping mission today."

Larry beamed, all without taking his eyes off the Switch. "I haven't forgotten."

"Oh!" Roy did a double take. "Well… good! So… are you gonna come down to the garage?"

Larry's smile grew bigger. "Nope."

"Nope?" Roy was beyond confused at this point. "Uh… why not?"

Larry paused the game and shifted his position on the bed. As he sat up, he gave Roy the most confident look imaginable. "Cause I'm not going on the mission."