Sam felt exhausted. She sat at the back of her class, fighting the urge to nod off, as she worked to finish her final. No matter what she tried, her brain just couldn't focus on any of the words in front of her. There were way too many things going on. Thankfully, she wasn't worried about her and Jake, not now at least. It had been weeks since "the night", which is what Sam had started calling it in her head. All things considered, things with Jake had been pretty normal. Sam remembered she had been adamant that she would only go through with it if he promised it wouldn't change anything between them. He had promised, but Sam would be lying if she said she hadn't been worried that night that things had changed. Things hadn't though. They still met up between classes and shared vending machine snacks. They still went out on Friday nights to their favorite pizza place, which they both agreed was second only to Clara's. And they still quipped back and forth like they always had. Just yesterday, he accused her of gossiping with Jen. She told him they weren't gossiping, simply discussing campus news. He just scoffed and told her she was in denial, his mustang eyes dancing with mischief. Yes, when it came down to it, they were still Sam and Jake, and Sam was relieved. Their friendship was one thing she never wanted to lose, no matter what feelings she might have felt during that night they shared.
She was worried, though, about school. Well, it was actually what came after school that worried her. Graduation was only another week away, and Sam couldn't decide if that day was coming too fast or couldn't come fast enough. She still had no idea what she wanted to do. It wasn't that she didn't have hobbies that could be made into something more. She was on the school paper. She loved her photography. And when she was home, she still loved spending as much time as possible with her horses on the wide open Nevada land. She had all these parts of herself that she loved, she just wasn't sure how to blend them into a career that she loved. She was determined to never work a job she didn't love just because she was out of college, and was expected to move right on to the next thing. She would do work she disliked out of obligation, or even desperation, but never to fulfill someone else's ideas or expectations. She wanted her career to be an expression of all these parts of who she was. Like how Jen would eventually be blending her love of science and medicine with love of animals by becoming a veterinarian. Or even Brynna, she had been able to blend biology and her love of horses by working for the BLM. Sam knew it was possible for her to come up with something for herself too, she just had to work at it.
The trip with Jen was another thing occupying Sam's mind. This wasn't their first time planning a trip together; Jen and her had gone on plenty of camping trips back home. But this was definitely the biggest trip they had planned. They were going to be boarding at a ranch outside Denver, Colorado. Sam hoped that, even though they would be so far from home, staying on the ranch would bring her a sense of comfort while she was there. She had been looking forward to going home after graduation; she really missed River Bend and her family. But she had a loyalty to Jen, and if she needed her there was no question that Sam would be right by her side. She knew Jen was just as loyal. Despite her worries, Sam really was excited to spend this time with Jen.
Sam rubbed her aching back as she glanced up at the clock in the front of the classroom. One thing she knew she was ready for was saying goodbye to these awful chairs. The timer marking the end of the final went off as the professor dismissed them for the last time, and Sam made sure to give the chair a good glare as she went out the door. She should have just left the chair in peace, since not two steps out the door she ran straight into someone standing in the hall.
"Hey Brat." Jake's eyebrow quirked as she stumbled back, and he reached his arms out to steady her. "You okay?"
"Yeah, why?" Sam glanced around, seeing a number of eyes watching them. Didn't people have places to be?
"I saw you shooting daggers." he said, nodding his head towards the classroom, "You hit your target?"
"Well I would hope I could hit a non-moving, inanimate object." she snapped, feeling an embarrassed blush creep over her face. Jake's amusement was clear, taking over his whole face as they moved down the hall and out of the building. Sam didn't care, let him laugh. All she cared about right now was getting out of this crowded hallway and to a place she could relax.
They walked across campus in mutual silence. Jake's face had relaxed into his lazy tomcat grin. Sam, however, felt lazy in a different way. She needed to sit and rest now, before she fell face first into the pavement. Her pace quickened as they neared their usual meeting spot. Why hadn't Jake been waiting for her here?
"Hey, why were you standing outside my class?" Sam asked, as she practically collapsed onto their bench.
Jake just shrugged. He opened his backpack as he settled down next to her, revealing the snacks of the day. "Salty or sweet?"
A sigh escaped her as she let herself slouch a bit, "Sweet."
"You sure you're okay?" His eyes scanned her as he handed her the chocolate coated candy bar. It wasn't Gram's lemon meringue pie, but it would have to do.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." She sighed again as she took a bite of her candy bar, she really missed Gram's cooking. "I guess I'm just feeling the pressure. And I'm so tired. It feels like no matter how much I sleep it's never enough. I was literally falling asleep in class today, and it wasn't even one of my boring classes!"
"Hm," he stalled, opening his potato chips to eat as he thought, "I mean, I guess some fatigue is to be expected. But you know what they say, you should try to enjoy it as best you can, you only graduate once."
Sam grinned, "First, since when did you start listening to such cheesy advice, let alone giving said advice? Second, you do realize you're talking to the genius that finished a four year degree in two, right? Who says I can't do it again?" She was joking, of course. No way would she ever do anything even resembling school again. She'd had as much school as she could take.
Jake ignored the first question, "What I realize,"Genius", is that you've worked yourself nearly to death these past two years, and you deserve to celebrate it.'' Concern showed in his eyes, betraying the humor in his voice.
"Mm", she decided to let his concerned look slide, once in a while it was nice to feel cared for. Still, though, she wanted to get one more jab in, "I could hear the air quotes by the way, not cool." Sam watched as a small smile played on his lips and lit up his eyes, wiping away any concern showing on his face. Jake raised his eyebrow and extended his bag of chips, offering the rest to Sam. When she shook her head "no", he dumped the rest of the chips in his mouth, and got up to throw their trash away.
As he gathered up his things and got ready to go, he turned to look at Sam. "You wanna go somewhere tonight? I can text you details later."
"Sure." She smiled up at him, and he smiled back as he turned to leave. "Hey Jake!" He quickly jerked back around, "Could Jen come too?"
He took his time responding, the smallest of frowns appearing on his face, "Why?"
"Don't tell her I told you, but she's been having a tough time over this latest fight with Ryan. She says she's fine, and I know she will be, eventually, I just kinda wanna stick close to her right now." Her smile softened as his slight frown disappeared, "Besides, I'm sure she'll have fun."
Jake held her gaze, his mustang eyes were filled with an emotion she couldn't identify. After what felt like an eternity, his eyes flicked down to the ground, and he answered in a low murmur, "Yeah, she can come." And with that, he turned and went on his way.
Sam appreciated his support, for both her and Jen, and smiled to herself as she watched him go. That is, until her stomach rolled. She should not have eaten that candy bar.