Lexa and Clarke have a *little* moment. An unexpected guest in Polis. A not so joyous "party".
Having woken up early out of habit, Lexa decides to take a walk around Polis and try to clear her head and relax.
She finds fascinating all the changes the city has gone through since Clarke became the commander. Polis has expanded noticeably and the progress is evident; she's very pleased at the knowledge that her people are enjoying a better life; the life of peace that she always wanted.
Her little trip is going without incident so far but it could be more entertaining if it wasn't for the occasional person –mostly older one's- that stare at her either in awe or with a little smile here and there. So before it becomes uncomfortable she heads to the field where the commander's army trains regularly.
Upon arriving, Lexa climbs a small hill which gives her a perfect view of the area. It really blows her away to watch the large brigades from the different clans, all practicing and sharing their different skills; all united. It brings bittersweet memories into Lexa's mind; but she shakes them away hastily "that's not your life anymore, live the here and now" she reminds herself and concentrates on relishing the sight as the young warrior she is and nothing more. Some minutes into her observation, Lexa sees someone she recognizes in the distance.
Indra turns her head –probably sensing someone is watching her- inadvertently making eye contact with Lexa.
Both stare at each other intensely for several seconds.
Lexa nods her head and hopes Indra notices; and apparently she does since Indra responds with the same gesture.
With a contented smile; Lexa walks down the hill to continue her exploration.
…
Indra and Octavia are getting ready to go back to the tower after discussing various strategies and formations for the army.
"So I'm thinking about asking Lexa to be my second," Octavia casually starts the conversation.
Indra stops what she's doing and takes a moment to consider her words before replying "I don't think that's wise."
Octavia glares at her former mentor demanding an explanation, which she supplies without hesitancy.
"Being your second means she would have to fight by your side in case of war or going on a quest, therefore putting her life at risk."
"And?" Octavia inquires. "She's a warrior Indra, she's supposed to be ready for a risk like that."
"Well…" Indra sighs "She's not any warrior."
Octavia huffs, rolling her eyes "whatever." She's about to step out of the room when Indra makes a suggestion.
"Perhaps you should ask Clarke about the subject; hear what she has to say about it."
That causes Octavia to spin around and glower at the other woman; not liking the hint of sarcasm she perceived in her voice "maybe I will" she responds in kind before departing.
….
As she had anticipated Lexa felt much better the next day at her training session. She remained focused the whole time, even though Clarke was there. Lexa wanted so badly to approach the blonde and talk to her or at least apologize for her outburst the other day, but she didn't get the chance and unfortunately Clarke didn't challenge her to a duel this time. But as it happens, an opportunity arose.
"OK, we are headed for the hills now; everybody go grab your horses" Octavia orders. She then turns to Clarke, "you didn't bring your horse."
"Yeah I forgot it was horse day" Clarke cringes guiltily "but I can go back to the stables quickly and…"
"I'll bring your horse!" Lexa offers suddenly.
Both women stare at her, not realizing she had been there the whole time.
Lexa waits eagerly for Clarke's consent; if she didn't have the opportunity to talk to her at least she can offer to be of some assistance.
Octavia switches glances between Lexa and Clarke.
Noticing she's taking too long to answer, Clarke replies "OK; thank you" she succeeds at delivering the words with no apparent hesitation.
With a sly smile of triumph Lexa runs to the stables.
…
"Hey" Lexa calls for one of the girls in charge of the stable, a brunette who is currently brushing a horse.
"Yes?" the girl replies not taking her eyes away from the animal.
"Wanheda needs her horse" Lexa states firmly.
At that the brush falls out of the girl's hands "Wa-Wanheda! Right, of course" she turns frantically as she hurries inside the stable.
That causes Lexa to arc a brow in confusion. She observes how, after a minute or so, the brunette leads out, what could only be described as the most beautiful horse she ever laid eyes on.
Two other girls bring out the saddle and the three of them together groom the horse as fast as humanly possible.
When they finish, the brunette starts to lead the magnificent animal towards Lexa, then one of the girls teases "yeah give Wanheda something other to mount on" at that the two girls begin to laugh loudly making their friend a laughingstock of their joke.
Lexa feels the rage bubbling up inside her soul; her fists firmly at her sides trying to contain the impulse to lash out at the mortified brunette in front of her. But, in an enormous display of self-control, she receives the horse from the girl and leaves before she does something she may regret.
…
When she returns, the sole vision of Clarke standing up, lost in thought is enough to make her anger go away. Lexa approaches slowly and has to suppress a smile when Clarke spins toward her. She wants to say something or start a light conversation but Octavia is close by already on her horse and waiting for them; so she settles for a simple acknowledgment "here you go" Lexa hands the reins of the horse to Clarke.
"Thanks" Clarke makes a sly movement of her head in acceptance as she takes the reins.
Instead of just letting go, Lexa purposely lets her hand linger so the back of it rubs against Clarke's.
At the contact Clarke's arm twitches and she unintentionally connects her eyes with Lexa's.
It only lasts a few seconds but both of them feel it strongly.
Frightened by the intimacy of the situation Clarke moves away and rapidly mounts her horse and rides in the direction of the hills.
"Hurry up!" Octavia commands Lexa as she follows Clarke's path.
Lexa is left there alone, staring at her hand; opening and closing it repeatedly, still feeling some sort of electricity running through it. Before she goes for her horse, she wonders if Clarke felt the same.
…
"Clarke" Indra calls out for the second time.
"Yes" Clarke shakes her head slightly facing Indra.
"Is there something wrong with your hand?"
"What?"
"You've been staring at it the whole time" Indra points with her chin at Clarke's hand that had settled to one side of the throne.
Automatically, Clarke takes her hand with the other giving it a hard squeeze as she replies "uh yeah, an incident with the um- horse." It's her lame explanation.
Indra grunts unconvinced, but doesn't make any more inquiries "you should have it checked" she advices.
The doors of the throne room open suddenly.
"Wanheda" a messenger bows and enters the room "King Roan is on his way to Polis with his entourage."
Clarke and Indra glance at each other and seem to communicate something with their eyes.
"OK, go tell the servants to make the arrangements" Clarke orders with finality.
"Yes Wanheda" the messenger bows again and leaves to do as he was told.
"What the hell does he want?" Clarke questions.
"I don't know but we better be careful" Indra warns never one to like the man.
…
"Wanheda!" Roan greets Clarke with a bow upon entering the throne room accompanied by his counselors and guards.
"Welcome King Roan. To what do I owe the honor of your presence?" Clarke doesn't waste any time with pleasantries.
"Oh, well first of all I wanted to apologize personally for not being able to attend the Young Warriors competition; unfortunately I was still on my adventure trip and it was impossible to make it on time."
"Of course, you are now an explorer of the new world," Clarke supplies barely hiding her sarcasm.
"Yes, exactly that!" Roan remarks with his annoying smirk. "And before I started another journey I thought it was time to pay you a visit and … perhaps get to know the champion."
Indra turns to Clarke with an "I knew he was up to something" look.
"I heard so many great things about her; I'm very interested in seeing her in action" he adds nonchalantly.
Analyzing his body language and making a quick decision Clarke responds "I don't see any problem with that." She ignores the glare she's receiving from Indra as she continues, "tomorrow you can join me at the young warriors practice session and see first-hand the progress and skill of the champion."
"Excellent" Roan claps his hands "I'm looking forward to it."
…
As promised Clarke and Roan arrive at the training area; each with their respective entourages. They all stay at a respectable distance observing the teen combatants.
Roan and the rest of his people pay special attention to Lexa who is – as usual- sparring with Octavia. It doesn't take long for them to start whispering and pointing in Lexa's general direction, marveling in her abilities.
"I want to have a word with her." Roan presents his request to Clarke.
Clarke eyes him suspiciously but relents anyway "alright." She nods at him and makes a gesture with her hand for Indra to let Octavia know.
Reluctantly Indra walks over to Octavia and Lexa.
After a brief chat, Octavia moves away, beckoning with her hand for Roan to approach.
He begins to walk, followed closely by Clarke. When he is a few steps away from Lexa he greets "it's a pleasure to finally meet you champion."
"King Roan" Lexa bows respectfully.
"Your technique is impressive warrior… and very familiar."
Lexa straightens her posture, chin up.
Roan scans her carefully, from her body to her face where he stops for a moment, then comments "I would gladly engage in battle with you but I'm afraid I can only let one Lexa humiliate me once in a lifetime."
Everyone in the ice nation entourage burst into laughter.
Lexa looks down trying to suppress her own laugh.
Indra, Octavia and the rest of Clarke's entourage remain stern.
For her part Clarke doesn't find anything funny in the reference; on the contrary it only brings back horrible memories of the time she had to watch with her heart in her throat, how Lexa almost died at the hands of Roan; and how either way, after all they went through, she lost her. But before she can dwell too much on her thoughts, she spots Roan invading Lexa's personal space. Her body tenses with sudden alarm.
Indra's hand flies to the grip of her sword as the man advances.
Separated by mere centimeters, Roan takes Lexa by the back of the neck and inspects her eyes carefully. He then leans in, whispering so Lexa is the only one able to hear him. "Maybe in another life," Roan pulls away winking at her.
A sly nod is all Lexa can muster.
Both Clarke and Indra release the breath they didn't know they were holding when Roan lets go of Lexa.
"General!" Roan turns his attention to Octavia "would you do me the honor of dueling with me?"
Octavia smirks already removing her sword from its sheath. "It would be my pleasure."
…
Lexa knows she shouldn't be doing this but she just can't help herself; after all, only a selected few are invited to King Roan's banquette. That's how, by evading the guards and security cameras, Lexa sneaks inside the banquette hall. She skillfully hides behind a pillar, next to the window that will serve as her escape later on.
The first thing her eyes take in is how beautiful Clarke looks in her dress; just like she did that night at the summit. Her throat goes dry at the vision, craving the body that once was hers. Lexa also notices with surprise that Clarke's arms are now covered in tattoos; she can't really make out the forms and shapes of them but she definitely likes them on Clarke. She giggles at the irony that it is now she who doesn't have a single tattoo.
Lexa keeps on watching the celebrations; how Clarke converses with the king and other guests, how she drinks slowly from her cup or any movement she makes for that matter. She's just fascinated by Clarke's new stand as a commander; so mature, so sure of herself… so sexy. And when she thought she couldn't be more attracted to Clarke, the blonde starts laughing loudly. Her heart skips a beat at the sound; Lexa had never heard Clarke laugh before and being witness to such a display of magnificence and content, warms her soul.
Drinks and conversations keep coming and going when all of a sudden a very inebriated Roan stands up and declares in a loud voice "hey hey hey, not so fast! Before we end this celebration I want to give you a present; you know I never come empty handed Wanheda," he laughs making a movement with his hand.
One of his servants opens the door allowing two gorgeous girls inside the room.
Lexa gulps not liking where this is going.
"C'mon Wanheda, go ahead; pick the one you like the most."
The girls, dressed in transparent night gowns, kneel in front of Clarke, waiting for her decision.
Clarke gazes at them while an internal battle takes place in her mind. On one hand she's not really in the mood for a lover this particular night, she would much rather be alone in her room or simply sleeping. But on the other hand, being alone would mean thinking about Le… about the teenage warrior that has completely turned her life upside down. She's honestly exhausted from it, she doesn't know what else to do to stop it; and the last straw was to stupidly keep staring at the hand the girl barely brushed against while handing her the reins. 'You can't keep thinking about this girl; you must make it stop' Clarke tries to convince herself as she attempts to make up her mind.
"Please don't do it; please, please don't choose any of them" Lexa murmurs clutching at her chest.
Finally Clarke comes to a conclusion. She rises from her throne glancing from one girl to the other; then she extends her right hand to one of them.
Lexa gasps, her hand flying to her mouth.
Once the girl holds the hand offered, Clarke extends her left one for the other girl to take.
At that moment Lexa feels her whole world crumble; her stomach begins twisting with nausea, she can't take it anymore. She rushes out from her hiding place.
"Woo hoo!" Roan screams with hands in the air "Wanheda, Wanheda!"
His chants are mimicked by the rest of the guests, and they keep resonating while Clarke takes both girls to her bedroom.
…
The air hits Lexa's face allowing her to breathe, once she's out of the tower. She leans against a wall resisting the impulse to cry. Images of Titus come into her mind; screaming at her to not cry, not to show weakness, that she must be strong, that she must hide her emotions. All the pain, all the suffering she went through, concealed under war paint, under the pretenses of being a ruthless commander; but still hurting just the same.
"NO!" she yells desperately and in that instant the memories of Titus are quickly replaced by images of her mother picking her up tenderly from the floor when she was five years old. She remembers how her mother held her tightly as she cried trying to soothe the pain with soft caresses. Also she envisions her father consoling her after a class with the sky people where she failed to understand anything about technology. "It's alright my little one, let it out. Next class will be much better you'll see" he said while caressing her head.
'How can love or feelings be weaknesses when I have been surrounded by them all this life and have made me happy so many times, while being strong and keeping it all to myself only made me miserable in my previous life?'
Encouraged by the affection of her parents and their constant reminder that she must be herself; she allows the tears to roll down from her eyes freely. "Clarke, why?" Lexa lets her body fall to the ground and break into heart wrenching sobs.
…
It's almost dawn but Clarke hasn't been able to sleep a wink- not even with the previous activities she engaged in hours before.
There, still with both girls sleeping by her side, Clarke feels like utter shit. She can't understand why she feels like she did something she shouldn't have, like she made a mistake. This is definitely not the first time Clarke has done something like this; she's single and doesn't owe anyone an explanation of her actions, but still there's a nagging sensation in her chest bugging her.
"Ugh" she rolls on her other side trying to find comfort but it's useless. And to top it off she hasn't been able to stop thinking about the young brunette; and every day that passes by convinces her that no matter what she does she won't be able to. 'Why are you doing this to yourself? She's just a girl, a good warrior that looks like someone you knew; she's not Le…' She can't even bring herself to mention the name without causing turmoil in her heart. She thinks and thinks urging her mind to come up with a solution to her predicament 'if you can't make it stop, at least you can try to overcome it. That's it! Maybe it is just a stupid crush you need to face and perhaps while you are getting to know the girl, you will realize how different she is from… her; and you may forget it. There you go! So now all you have to do is to deal with this warrior and you'll see how the spell vanishes; perfect!' Feeling hopeful and more optimistic Clarke closes her eyes sure that this time she will achieve some much needed sleep.