Clexa fluff part 1. Octavia's angst (just a little).

You know what? Life is too short to take it seriously so here comes some Clexa acting like cute little dorks! Isn't that what we all need sometimes?

The next day, Esiry barely knocks on Lexa's door before letting herself in.

"Whoa, I could have been changing!" Lexa reprimands the other girl.

"Sorry, sorry" Esiry sprints toward Lexa and sits down on the chair, asking without preamble "so those rumors were also true?"

"Oh" Lexa suddenly becomes shy knowing exactly what Esiry is talking about. She leaves the book she was reading on her nightstand.

Esiry stares at her expectantly.

"Well…" Lexa scratches the back of her neck "yeah kind of…" once again Lexa finds herself cringing at Esiry's girly screech "argh seriously Esiry stop doing that!"

"I'm sorry but this is so cool!" Esiry stops her excited rant to ask another question in a more quiet tone, "and have you and Wanheda…" she wiggles her eye brows to signal what she means.

"Uh um…" Lexa flushes at the intimate topic. She doesn't really know why she's so willing to disclose all this to Esiry but deep down she feels the need to share it with someone. And that's exactly what she does next. "In my previous life… once."

This time, Esiry covers her mouth to muffle the sound that bothers Lexa. "Oh wow Lexa; you're so lucky," she slaps Lexa's arm playfully, "Wanheda is like really hot."

Lexa gives Esiry a nasty look.

"What! She IS!"

"OK yeah she is," Lexa admits with a dreamy smile.

"You're gonna tell me right?" Esiry throws another query.

"Tell you what?"

Esiry sighs. "When you do it!"

"What!" Lexa replies horrified. "No Esiry, how…" she shakes her head as she feels her face becoming hot with embarrassment.

"Oh c'mon Lexa; pretty please!" Esiry shakes Lexa's arm, "you know you want to." She displays a playful grin.

Lexa opens her mouth to reject the request but decides against it at the last second. She bites her lip in thought for a moment and finally responds "I-I'll think about."

"Yay!" Esiry claps "that's all I need," she declares triumphantly.

"Yeah,yeah; now please leave, Clarke could be here any minute" Lexa pushes the girl.

"Oh right!" Esiry walks quickly to the door, but before exiting she turns to face Lexa one last time. "Good luck!" She winks and with that she's gone.

…

For the subsequent week Clarke has been showing up at Lexa's room to have lunch with her. They would talk for a couple hours - sometimes more if they were lucky - about every detail of their lives and a little more; until Clarke would be summoned by Indra or a messenger to remind her of the need to fulfill her obligations. With each passing day they felt more comfortable with each other, Lexa occasionally flirting or holding Clarke's hand causing the blonde to become a bashful mess. It became difficult to say goodbye but at the same time they were both left with an internal satisfaction knowing they were taking the right steps in getting to know one another better and moving forward with whatever destiny has planned for them.

…

One day, after Clarke had just departed; Esiry's curiosity got the better of her, and instead of waiting for the next day before lunch as she usually did, she entered Lexa's bedroom.

"And?!" Esiry immediately interrogates.

Lexa exhales amused and exasperated at the same time, "no Esiry nothing has happened yet."

"Ugh! Lexa c'mon you should be doing something by now!" Esiry reproaches.

"Maybe I will soon," Lexa remarks with a smirk.

Esiry's eyes open wide with interest "why, what's gonna happen soon?"

"Well…" Lexa plays it cool and assumes a confident posture "finally tomorrow I'm able to go out and take a walk to see how I'm doing… and Clarke offered to join me."

"Yes!" Esiry walks over and sits down at the edge of the bed, "you can finally make your move."

"I don't know" Lexa looks down doubtfully but the smile on her face betrays her pseudo pessimism.

"Awww, I bet you're gonna be all like…" Esiry wraps her arms around Lexa's neck and using a mocking tone declares "Oh Clarke I love you, you're so pretty." She accompanies the words with kissing sounds close to Lexa's face.

"Argh stop!" Lexa pretends to be mad by pulling onto Esiry's arms but laughing just the same.

At that moment the door bursts open.

"Hey, I think I forgot my…"

Both Lexa and Esiry freeze on the spot.

For the second time in a week Clarke is witness to a scene she would've rather been spared from: Esiry and Lexa wrapped in what looks like a very intense make out session. Her stomach twists, her chest tightens with a sudden need to scream; but in an impressive display of practiced self-control Clarke swallows the anger within her and completes her previous statement "… coat."

In shock Lexa and Esiry still haven't moved from their current positions.

Clarke walks over to retrieve her coat. She yanks it off the hanger and holds on to it unnecessarily tight. Clarke doesn't know why she does this; but her eyes inevitably search once again for the teens, who are in the exact same circumstances she found them in. She wants to say something, make some excuse to force Esiry to leave Lexa's room or at the very least let them know of her disapproval; but obviously she can't. So lifting her chin and portraying her most impassive expression; Clarke leaves. The only evidence of her masked fury is how she slams the door shut.

The loud bang causes Lexa and Esiry to finally react and detach from each other.

"Jok!" Lexa runs both hands over her face in frustration.

Esiry remains sitting in silence; her mind invaded by all sorts of different thoughts. After a while she speaks. "Lexa?"

"Yes?" Lexa responds pinching the bridge of her nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

"Um," Esiry gulps before asking her question. "Would you visit me when Wanheda puts me in the same condition the general put you in?"

…

If the guards weren't there to open the doors of the throne room, Clarke probably would've kicked them open. She storms in, walking directly to her throne but doesn't sit down. Clarke just stands in front of it until she throws her coat against the wall with force, letting out a loud growl at the same time. 'She's young; of course she would be looking for someone her age to…argh!' She paces around while holding her head, 'but she's here for you, because you are meant to be. Life brought her back to you for a reason, don't you go and screw it all up with insecurities.' Clarke reasons with herself 'just let her have her fun, she will come to you when she's ready; all for you.' Finally reaching a conclusion Clarke decides not to allow this impasse to ruin their growing closeness. She takes a deep breath to try and put the topic aside, preparing herself for her next meeting.

…

Lexa spent most of the previous afternoon and night thinking about Clarke and what she saw. At the beginning she felt mortified but the more she analyzed the situation Lexa came to realize it wasn't really that big of a deal; she could only hope for Clarke to see it the same way and try to enjoy the day they have ahead.

…

Standing in front of Lexa's door the next morning, Clarke reaches for the knob but the fear of finding something she didn't want to see, stops her and instead she knocks on the flat surface.

"Come in!" Lexa yells.

Clarke makes her way inside cautiously; already prepared for whatever may come. "Good morning." She greets.

"Good morning." Lexa greets back offering a smile, but rapidly goes back to the task at hand. "I'm almost done, just give me a minute." She continues tying her boots.

"Sure," Clarke looks around the room, pretending to inspect the ornaments as she speaks casually "so… you and Esiry huh?"

At that Lexa halts, but almost immediately resumes her activities saying nothing.

"She's a good girl, a nice warrior too; you chose right." Even knowing how pathetic she sounds, Clarke just can't help herself.

Finishing with her boots Lexa raises from the bed and exhales. "There's nothing going on between me and Esiry, Clarke."

"You don't have to explain anything, really." Clarke interjects with a hand up "it's none of my business."

Lexa rolls her eyes irritated, but assures either way, "if there were something happening with her or anyone, I would tell you Clarke; I want to believe my parents raised me to be a decent woman." When Clarke only offers silence Lexa supplies as a reason, "besides she's more into guys you know?"

Clarke huffs. "So what? I was into guys too." She toys with a figurine on Lexa's desk.

Lexa would've laughed at the way Clarke was behaving, if it wasn't for the memories it brought back. Wanheda, like she has gotten to know her in this new life, was not the woman in front of her; in her place is Clarke of the sky people, the teenager Lexa met among the chaos of war. The stubborn young blonde who despite the suffering she went through –despite the pain Lexa herself caused her- still had kindness and courage in those beautiful blue eyes. Her heart bursts with love for this woman, at the same time she feels honored to be able to witness Clarke with her walls down, vulnerable; whether it's intentional or not she guesses not many have the privilege of seeing this side of Wanheda.

Still there's always a place for some teasing.

"You're jealous" Lexa states, not bothering to hide her mischievous smile.

"What? No! I'm…" Clarke's first instinct is to deny the allegations but she knows there's no point; even if she wanted to, she can't lie to Lexa. So forgetting any pretense, Clarke faces the brunette before making an admission "well… it's not like I have the right to be, huh."

The words are so full of resignation and defeat that Lexa's previous impish attitude drops; in its place she resolves to refute Clarke's statement seriously. "You have every right to be." Lexa stares at Clarke's face and then moves closer until she's in front of the blonde, never breaking eye contact "I told you already Clarke; I'm yours" with that she leans in to Clarke's left cheek, planting a firm lingering kiss.

Lexa's lips on her skin leave Clarke stupefied with a tingling sensation all over her body. Fears, insecurities and jealousy are momentarily forgotten with that simple demonstration of affection. And she's so into it, that it takes her a few more seconds to realize she's alone. "Shit!" Clarke sprints out of the room shaking her head, trying to get out of the sweet trance she is in.

…

Raven, with bags under her eyes and ready to pass out at any moment, glances at the sleeping form of Octavia in her arms on the bed. It has been absolute hell for two days with Octavia just crying inconsolably and Raven holding her tight; like she has been doing for the past fifteen years.

Octavia was reluctant to let anyone other than Raven to be with her in these difficult times –not even Bellamy. Myrreh, who Octavia respected as a warrior and also as a trustworthy friend, joined them ten years ago. Octavia found some sort of comfort in allowing a grounder to participate in her mourning.

Raven and Myrreh were there the previous day accompanying Octavia in her annual anniversary death ritual.

As any other year, Octavia would let Myrreh pray to the spirits in trigedasleng for Lincoln; always asking them to let him be close to her. Octavia would then pray herself, with the words directed at Lincoln personally, hoping that wherever he was he would listen. After that, all Octavia did was stumble on the ground and cry until she lost her voice or she fell unconscious out of exhaustion.

And that's exactly the condition she's in now; finally sleeping. As soon as Raven noticed the woman drifting off, she glanced at Myrreh letting her know silently she could go back to her family.

It was a terrible thing to watch the usually harsh and sassy general transformed into this hopeless woman. But there was nothing else they could do, Octavia was the one who chose this path, they could only offer their solidarity and empathy through her pain.

Raven observes her friend quietly, swallowing the lump in her throat so she doesn't disturb Octavia's sleep with her sobs. She kisses the brunette's head, softly cuddling her before finally allowing sleep to take over her tired body.

…

As soon as Myrreh enters her home, Bellamy is standing in front of her.

"How is she?" Bellamy asks evidently concerned.

"You know," Myrreh shrugs sadly.

"Yeah," Bellamy lowers his gaze showing some sadness himself.

They both embrace, soothing each other.

"Where are the kids?" Myrreh inquiries as she pulls away and walks into her bedroom, with Bellamy not far behind.

"They are still sleeping."

"Good; I'm going to get some sleep before they wake up."

"Oh don't worry about that," Bellamy says. "I'm staying today," he assures sympathetically.

Myrreh's shoulders droop with relief letting out a short moan "aren't you the best?" She leans in to peck her husband's lips. She then moves to the bathroom to wash her face and get rid of her dirty clothes.

"And…" Bellamy starts hesitatingly "did she tell you why she came earlier?"

Myrreh pauses at the question, already knowing how this is going to end. "Yes" she confirms resuming her activities.

"OK." Bellamy nods staring at her expectantly. When Myrreh remains quiet he pressures, "what happened?"

Exhaling loudly Myrreh answers "I can't tell you that."

Bellamy looks at her confused. "What do you mean you can't tell me?"

"I meant exactly that, I can't tell you because she asked me not to."

"Myrreh," Bellamy pronounces the name clearly annoyed "I'm her brother; it's my right to know what's going on with her."

"Then go ask her yourself," it is Myrreh's simple reply. She passes by Bellamy going to the closet to retrieve her sleeping gown.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bellamy can't believe what he's hearing, "she can tell you whatever she wants about me, but I'm your husband Myrreh; we are supposed to share everything."

"I do share everything with you Bellamy; everything related to me, not everyone else's life." Myrreh retorts, feeling some annoyance herself. "Octavia is my friend and she confided in me with something very delicate; I'm not about to betray her trust because of your curiosity."

"Curiosity?" Bellamy utters indignantly, "this is not curiosity; I need to know what is wrong with my sister and you have to tell me; we are bound together Myrreh, you owe loyalty to me."

Myrreh's face immediately hardens, something in the words sets her off, "my loyalty is with my commander only," Myreeh recites the vow she has engraved in her mind. A vow she had repeated countless times; first combating along with Lexa's army in days of war and later under Clarke's orders.

Now Bellamy is furious "with your commander? What the hell are you talking about; we are a family Myrreh."

"You are my family and I love you but my loyalty lies with the commander of the thirteen clans and in combat with the general of the commander's army; the two women who are willing to die for me and my people," Myrreh counteracts firmly.

"I am willing to die for you too!" Bellamy all but yells, "I fought in the war to save your people, remember? To save the world!"

"Yeah, because your people were also at stake; but tell me, would you die for my people now? For the ones in my village, my family? Hmm?" Myrreh challenges taking a step forward, "because I bet you my own blood that Wanheda and the general would surely do it without a second thought."

Bellamy can't find anything to say to refute the arguments.

"Now if you excuse me I'm going to bed; I'm really tired and I need the rest. We can continue this later if you still want to discuss loyalties." With that Myrreh lays down on the bed turning her back on her husband.

Without anything else to add Bellamy exits their bedroom, determined more than ever to find out the truth about Octavia's early arrival.

…

The walk Clarke and Lexa took went without incident. Clarke had decided to go to the forest instead of the city per se to avoid any unwanted attention. They spent the whole time talking as usual, but now surrounded by nature which made the whole experience far more relaxing.

Clarke discovered on this little trip that Lexa loved flowers since she couldn't pass by any of them without wanting to examine them closely and smell them; important information that Clarke made sure to remember later.

When Lexa started showing traces of weariness Clarke practically forced her to return by threatening not to go with her on the next excursion.

Already at her door; Lexa remains in the threshold smiling "I really had fun on our date Clarke," she remarks cheekily.

That causes Clarke to laugh. "Don't be a smart ass; that wasn't a date."

"Oh it wasn't?" Lexa feigns ignorance, "then we better do something to change that." She flirtatiously smirks at the blonde.

"Ah and how exactly are you planning on doing it?" Clarke can't help replying with a brow lifted, teasingly.

"Well…" Lexa pretends to consider. "How about I take you on a real date."

"A real date?" Clarke tries to sound poised but deep inside she's getting all mushy at the prospect.

"Yes, a date" Lexa confirms confidently, "tomorrow, lunch time."

Clarke chuckles to mask her nervousness "O-OK; sounds good to me" but she fails.

"Great!" Lexa's impish grin makes its presence, "can't wait." With that she leans in just like she did earlier, kissing Clarke's cheek once again.

She should have been ready for it by now, after all this was the second time, but still the kiss has the same effect on Clarke.

"Have a good day commander," Lexa whispers biting her lip before going inside her room, and closing the door.

"Yeah good… day." Clarke mumbles to herself standing dumbfounded in the hallway; so distracted by the emotion taking over her; that she didn't notice how Lexa used her title to address her –a thing which normally would've bothered her. 'A date? Are you really going on a date with Lexa?' Clarke wonders. 'Wow this is amazing, so fucking amazing' astounded and with a dopey smile on her face, Clarke returns to the tower; expectations and anxiety surfacing in her being at this so unexpected but gladly welcomed date.

…

Behind the door Lexa shrieks happily already planning what she will do for this date. 'I guess I'm gonna need Indra's help for this one' she concludes, moving over to her bed and spreading herself on it; her last thought before drifting to sleep is how close she is to tasting Clarke's lips once again.