Clarke shows her true colors. Lexa and Clarke have a decisive conversation. Lexa makes a last minute decision.
The point of Clarke's sword aiming at Orita's skull, suffers a slight change of course at the last second causing the blade to barely graze the girl's cheek instead; but it's enough to slice the skin all the way down to the ground.
The sound of the point piercing the floor, pairs with the stamping of Clarke's feet at both sides of Orita's hips.
Orita opens her eyes and gasps loudly, her mind still not completely alert of her surroundings. Little by little it dawns on her where she is and that she is still breathing. A sudden burning sensation on her left cheek catches her attention 'what …' she tries turning her head to the side but something prevents her from doing so, something sharp that hurts. Her eyes grow big when her peripheral view takes in the object "the blade… the blade is…" she squeaks in fear, jerking her head to the other side, leaving a trail of blood in its wake.
The exclamations of shock and the commotion make Lexa finally look up and watch the scene before her: Clarke standing menacingly over Orita's body. 'Is she …' It takes her a moment to adjust her vantage point to realize Orita is alive. 'She didn't kill her, she didn't…' Lexa feels dizzy, her legs giving out 'mochof presh keryon' she utters with relief as she slumps to the floor, with just enough strength to be conscious and able to witness how this situation will end.
With ire still thrumming in her ears Clarke drops on one knee hovering over Orita. She takes the girl by the chin, giving her no other choice but to look at her.
Orita doesn't resist, just stares at her opponent fearfully, chest heaving.
"Listen to me; listen to me carefully." Clarke's words come through gritted teeth, eyes boring into Orita's. "Lexa is my woman and only mine; no matter what. So you better stay the fuck away from her or next time I won't be so clement; do you understand?" She tugs at the girl's chin for emphasis.
The words "Lexa" and "mine" trigger something inside Orita, the last of her pride making its appearance. She clenches her jaw and lifts her chin defiantly even though the grip is still on her.
Enraged by the disrespect the girl is showing, Clarke tightens her hold effectively causing pain –if Orita's wince is any indication. "I said do you understand?"
Doing her best to mask her fear and pain Orita manages with a raspy voice "yes."
"Yes what?" Clarke pressures, giving the chin in her hand a firm shake.
Consumed by impotence and having no other choice, Orita swallows the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes and replies an unwilling surrender "yes… Wanheda."
Satisfied, Clarke lets go of the girl's face brusquely, causing the young blonde's head to hit the ground. She rises slowly, getting a hold of her sword and drawing it swiftly; the metallic sound of the blade echoing throughout the arena. Then hoisting her weapon into the air she exclaims "Ai laik Wanheda!"
The crowd falls silent again, intimidated by the display.
"I decide who lives and who dies" Clarke proclaims with authority. She quickly glances at her subjects then lowers her gaze back on Orita. "And you," she points the tip of her sword at her, "Orita of the tree clan will not be dying today." With that she glares at the girl for a few seconds more before stepping away from her.
People remain mesmerized as Clarke approaches the fellow who lent her the sword. She stops in front of him, cleans Orita's blood off the blade with her sleeve and proceeds to hand the weapon back to its owner.
"Thank you," Clarke says in a polite but steady tone. Once the guy takes his sword back coyly, she strides toward Octavia. On her way back she makes eye contact with Lexa who is just now rising to her feet.
They hold gazes briefly but Clarke averts her eyes once she reaches her friend.
Octavia assists Clarke in putting on her commander's jacket and attaching her holster. When the blonde is set to go, the two of them begin walking away followed closely by the guards.
Only then chatter among the people erupts in full force. "Wanheda is so merciful," "I knew she wasn't gonna do it," "she just wanted to teach her a lesson," are some of the comments the villagers voice as they start leaving the arena, shaking their heads or plainly ignoring the girl still on the ground.
Lexa stands alone, watching as Orita rolls on her side in obvious pain. She can see - even feel it somehow – that Orita is devastated and utterly humiliated. Lexa wants so badly to run to her and help her up, to console her, to tell her everything will be alright; but she knows that she can't; not here, not now. It would be seen as disrespectful among her people, once they find out what this confrontation was all about; Clarke – the commander nonetheless- was the rightful winner of the challenge, her place is with her girlfriend, not with "the loser". But still she can't find the strength to move away, so she stays and her heart breaks when Orita lowers her head and starts trembling, with sobs she is trying so hard to contain.
"Orita!"
A woman screams, breaking Lexa's focus.
"Ma fyucha," Orita's mother reaches for her daughter and envelops her with her arms.
Then the father comes too and wraps his arms around both women.
That is when Orita breaks down. There in the safety of her parents embrace, she finally lets her tears fall.
And Lexa contains a choke; moved by the scene. But just when she is starting to feel lost, a strong hand rests on her shoulder –one she recognizes without even looking- offering comfort.
"You OK, strikon?" Malku asks, softly kneading Lexa's shoulder with affection.
"Now I am," Lexa whispers with a tight smile.
"Lex." Jahnisce, there too; caresses Lexa's face lovingly.
The teen sighs, leaning her head on her mother's hand; feeling protected and loved.
The three of them watch silently as Orita's parents help her up and walk her off the field.
"I have to talk to her," Lexa mutters still eying the scene.
"Not now strikon" Jahnisce advices, holding now onto Lexa's arm. "She needs to rest, let her calm down first; you can go to her later."
Reluctantly Lexa accepts, choosing to enjoy her parents company for awhile before going to meet Clarke; an encounter she can't postpone for long.
…
Back in her tent with the adrenaline of the moment gone; Clarke begins to feel the first traces of guilt. She sits heavily on a chair, shoulders slumped.
Octavia sits next to her, quiet for a couple minutes then she finally speaks. "Do you feel better now?" The question is oddly free from sarcasm.
The same thing can't be said of Clarke's come back. "Did you?" Her tone is bitter, still resentful for the memories it brings back, but her body language shows the opposite.
The brunette sighs long and deeply, regretful herself because of her past actions. She submerges herself in her own recollections before answering her friend, "no" is the short but definite reply.
Clarke lowers her head, knowing nothing will make her feel better after what she did.
Octavia pats her shoulder in solidarity and understanding.
"Commander?" The voice of the guard breaks into the tense atmosphere of the tent. "The chief is here, he requests a word with you."
"Send him in," Clarke instructs as she and Octavia stand to receive the man.
"Wanheda." The chief bows as soon as he enters and immediately starts speaking. "Is there anything we can do for you before you go? Something you need?" He offers anxiously.
"That won't be necessary thank you" Clarke declines. "We will be leaving soon; my servants can take care of it."
The chief nods his acceptance and adds submissively, "I also wanted to reiterate my apologies Wanheda, I feel awful that you didn't have quite the pleasant visit you were expecting because of one of my novice sentinels. I can assure you that we will deal with her insolence and provide the appropriate punishment."
Clarke spins around at his words. "No!" She spats harshly causing the man to flinch with fear. "You're not touching that girl! She received punishment enough!" Contemplating for a brief moment she continues. "You are gonna give her the necessary time to heal and cool down. Nobody is going to bother her or her family, she must be left in peace… and you'll make sure of that." She points her finger at him threateningly.
"sh-sha wanheda," the man cowers, his head down.
"General!" Clarke calls.
Octavia takes a step forward holding her head up.
"I want you to accompany the chief and see firsthand that he follows my orders."
"As you wish my Commander." Octavia assents and signals the man to follow her out of the tent.
Now, completely alone with her thoughts, Clarke paces around the tent wondering what can she do to fix the situation with Lexa. She is regretful yes, she knows she overstepped her own boundaries but still she has this sense of jealousy deep within her that won't let her be. Clarke runs both hands through her hair, confused, frustrated and remorseful; she tries to clear the fog from her mind so she can come up with solutions to the mess that they created.
Ten minutes later, Lexa makes her way inside the tent. She stands just at the entrance, not sure how to begin.
Clarke regards her with just one look. "I thought you would be taking care of your little girlfriend," and here it goes again, the attitude. She doesn't understand why she can't stop it but there it is.
"She's not my…" Lexa closes her eyes and exhales, she didn't come here to fight, so calmer this time, she goes on with what she came to say "I just… I wanted to thank you Clarke for-for not…"
"I'm not a cold blooded murderer Lexa." Clarke cuts her off irritated, "but she had to pay for her disrespect." She refuses to accept in front of Lexa that she is actually a tad sorry.
Lexa doesn't argue she just nods resigned. "We have to talk" she suddenly says, eager to clarify everything.
"Yes, but not here." Clarke already set on what she wants adds, "we will do it when you get back to Polis."
"Clarke…"
"You have to stay here with your family and…" Clarke pauses, throat dry "you need to deal with your … feelings."
"Jok!" Lexa curses, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I…" her first instinct is to deny everything but she decides against it, for the good of her relationship. "There are no feelings Clarke but in some way, you may be right." She starts tentatively, "with-with this thing about the challenge and the prospect of losing her I may have discovered that I…"
Clarke clenches her jaw, bracing for whatever Lexa is going to confess.
Lexa bites her lip nervously and completes her thought. "That I like her… as a woman." She eyes Clarke, waiting for some sort of response but when there isn't any, just an expectant look she continues. "I probably have for a while but I failed to notice it because I was determined to meet the love of my life." Her words are not meant to sound romantic or adulating, simply honest.
And Clarke knows it, she knows Lexa well enough to appreciate the truth in her speech, either way she doesn't feel completely reassured. "I'm glad you are able to admit it to yourself Lexa; but these feelings, these… desires," Clarke doesn't bother to hide her disdain at uttering the expression, "can't just linger in your head without a resolution."
"I don't need resolution Clarke!" Lexa stubbornly states "I do care for her, as my friend; I thought she was going to die and it caused me pain and sorrow. What did you want me to do?"
"On the contrary, I do believe they need resolution." Clarke faces her with a hard stance as she speaks. "When you go back to Polis, I need you clear of mind and certain of what you want; you are going to be coming back to your village occasionally now and we don't need any confusion or doubts on your part, do we?"
"For the last time Clarke there are no feelings to deal with!" Lexa raises her voice at her inability to make Clarke understand. "I said I like her! I like her as I would like any other girl; like you probably liked other boys or girls in the past." She moves closer, feeling bolder. "But my heart is yours; I'm in love with you not with her Clarke, why can't you get it through your head?!"
If Lexa's exasperation did anything to Clarke, she doesn't show it. She just stares at the girl with stony eyes as she lets out, "for the remaining time that you are here besides spending it with your family; you are going to spend it with Orita too." Clarke takes a deep breath, hesitating only a second before completing "you are going to be with her."
Lexa blinks and shakes her head; something is not making any sense to her, "be with her? What do you mean by… being with her?" She glares at Clarke demanding an explanation but it soon dawns on her "wait… are you asking me to…"
Clarke gives a steady nod accompanied by a hard look. She doesn't need to say anything, Lexa gets it.
"Oh My God!" The Skypeople's expression flows naturally from Lexa's lips at the absurdity of it all "what the hell are you…! Are you aware of what you are…? Have you…" She can't even complete one sentence; she is stunned to no end. Her hands fly up to her head, she doesn't even think as she replies "no! I'm not doing that, I'm not…"
"Lexa," Clarke interrupts "she was willing to die for you. She knew she was gonna lose but either way she did it, for you; because she loves you." When Lexa only shakes her head in response Clarke continues. "That was very brave of her; stupid, but brave nonetheless. It was a love sacrifice and I respect that quality in anybody. I respect someone who is willing to die for someone else." She keeps to herself to whom Orita reminds her of and goes on. "That is the reason why after careful consideration," Clarke hesitates again but she swallows her insecurities and finishes her thought, "I think it is only fair to share a part of you with her; she deserves it."
Clarke has never particularly believed any of the grounders spiritual traditions; she respected them but nothing more. That is until Lexa reappeared in her life, because since then all of her beliefs and knowledge have suffered a drastic change that shook her to her very core, to the point that she can't even tell what is real or what is not, and doesn't dare to guess, doesn't want to. Grounders believe that each time you share your body with someone you give them a piece of your soul. She may not be one hundred percent sure this is true but she knows Lexa believes it.
Lexa runs both hands over her face, her head throbbing. Refusing to accept the request she expresses "that's it, I'm coming with you."
"No you are not" Clarke states. "Your family has been waiting to see you Lexa; your place is here until your vacation time is over."
"My family can wait Clarke; but this can't" Lexa refutes. "You are evidently being driven by your emotions here. We have to talk and we are going to do it in Polis."
"Are you accusing me of making poor choices? Do you think you know better than me?" Clarke fires, evidently angry.
Not one to back down, but cautiously Lexa counters. "No, Clarke of course not but…"
"Do I need to remind you I'm your Commander Lexa?" Clarke advances, expecting some sort of objection; when there is none, she keeps going. "I'm the one in charge here, I'm the one who tells everybody what to do and you are staying here in your village as any of your fellow warriors do when their time to go home is due; no special treatment, no preferences. Did I make myself clear?" Clarke didn't mean to be so harsh or authoritative with her girlfriend, but she didn't want to have an argument with her about the subject –especially when she herself was unsure of the whole situation – and didn't want to give Lexa the chance to make her change her mind.
Lexa only purses her lips, having the impulse to snap at Clarke but she knows she can't. "Yes, Commander" is her obedient answer.
Pleased with Lexa's compliance, Clarke turns and paces around before adding something else. "Now, I must concede that I can't force you to actually…" She can taste bile in her mouth as she tries to finish the sentence "… go through with it; you are the only owner of your body and it's ultimately your decision. But as I explained earlier I firmly believe it would be only fair for her and a good chance for you to blow off some steam… or something."
"Blow off…" Lexa's brows knit, not familiar with the expression. "Whatever," she mutters giving up on asking for a meaning. Lexa is fuming inside, not happy at all with the outcome.
"You won't have to worry about any disturbances, I already arranged for her and her family to be left alone and to give them the necessary time to get back to normal."
"Right." Lexa closes her eyes containing her anger; when she feels she has it under control she starts speaking again. "So that's it? Is this how it's gonna be our last day together for two weeks?" The reproach comes in a soft but sharp voice.
"Yeah, that is exactly how this is gonna be." Stubborn as always Clarke glares at Lexa, a brow lifted, daring her to defy her.
"I…" Lexa swallows. "I don't get what it is you are trying to do but whatever it is I don't like it and I don't share your view," she makes her point clear.
"I already told you what I want you to do Lexa; the rest, it's up to you." Having said that, Clarke moves away and begins collecting her stuff.
Lexa remains standing still, watching as Clarke picks up her clothes and gear.
At her immobility Clarke grows inpatient, "go Lexa" she urges not looking back.
"Clarke…"
"Just fucking go!" Clarke spats turning around for a second to glare at the girl but quickly returns to packing her things.
This is not how Lexa pictured the day going; Orita challenging her girlfriend, almost losing her best friend at the hands of her girlfriend, a hostile goodbye. It all started out so well, with hope, with celebrations and then… this. On the one hand she wishes she could solve this issue right now and kiss Clarke goodbye, like she had previously planned but on the other hand she is pissed at Clarke for her reaction, mad at herself for not doing more; mixed up feelings that only irritate her more and more. At the end her indignation wins over, making her turn around and leave the tent, without a second thought.
The slap of the tent flap lets Clarke know that Lexa left. She pauses momentarily, holding tightly onto her vest, wondering if she made the right choice or if it was a big mistake.
…
Lexa goes first to her house where after a light – and forced- dinner she is allowed to go and talk to Orita. She doesn't bother to check the girl's house, since she is pretty sure she wouldn't be well received there anyway. Lexa goes straight to the place she knows she will find her friend: to the small cave they found years ago in their adventures after school.
That cave had been their favorite hideaway since they were kids; a fun place that holds precious memories for both of them: long light conversations about life, games, innocent secrets; a place where Lexa had her first kiss, precisely with Orita. So many sweet remembrances that will be tainted by the condition Lexa undoubtedly will find her friend in.
Taking the short cut she knows by heart and stepping carefully along the bumpy passage under the rock formation, sure enough Lexa can see light illuminating the hidden cave. She watches, from the entrance at first, at Orita who is sullenly seated on top of the furs on the floor with her back to Lexa; the image sending pressure into Lexa's chest. 'She looks so miserable, so lost.' Lexa tip toes as to not disturb her friend, but of course, she doesn't succeed in her attempt to be subtle.
"What are you doing here," Orita barks without having to look behind her, she already knows the only person that it could be. "Do you want Wanheda to have me killed for real this time?"
Lexa sighs at having been caught. She walks slowly toward Orita and sits next to her. "She would never do that Orita;" she starts softly. "Clarke is a fair woman, a just commander; she would never kill an innocent just like that."
Orita makes a tsk sound but refrains from making any negative remark.
"How are you…" Lexa instinctively reaches with her hand for Orita's shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" Orita pulls her body away from Lexa's grasp.
"Sorry." Lexa retrieves her hand immediately, looking down.
Minutes pass without them saying a word until Orita finally turns to the brunette and utters, "Lexa, just go" she sounds tired and defeated. "Please, leave."
"Orita I…" Lexa faces her, fully intending on protesting but Lexa's words get stuck in her throat when she takes in the fresh bruises on her friend's face and most importantly, the large bandage covering the wound on Orita's left cheek.
Orita looks away ashamed but not willing to break down, "don't" she warns.
Lexa stares at Orita feeling responsible for her bruises, like she caused them herself. "I'm sorry I…" she's at a loss for words.
At Lexa's passiveness, Orita reproofs "so you went there supposedly to be one of the best warriors in Polis and along the way you landed in the commander's bed?"
"It's not like that." It's Lexa's frail defense.
"I mean, you always had this obsession with Wanheda, I knew that but I never thought you…" Her expression suddenly hardens as she faces her friend again, "is it consensual Lexa? Did Wanheda force you to be with her?" She questions alarmed.
"No Orita, of course not!" Lexa dismisses.
"Is it the sex?" Orita ventures next "cause I heard Skypeople are… wild."
Lexa's brows jump a bit at the observation 'oh they certainly are' she thinks but quickly shakes her head to rid the involuntary memories coming to her; instead she focuses on giving the young blonde an honest answer. "No, I…" she swallows knowing this will come as a blow, "I'm in love with her. I love her."
And it's obvious, in Orita's facial expression that the admission indeed hurts. She closes her eyes, containing the intense need to cry with a hard gulp. Soon something else roams inside her mind. Orita opens her mouth, once, twice until she lets out what she is dying to ask. "Lexa?"
"Yes?" Lexa watches her expectantly.
"Are the rumors true?"
Of the many things Lexa imagined Orita would ask this wasn't one of them. She exhales, pondering on everything that transpired during the day, the long agonizing fucking day – for all of them. Deciding she doesn't want to lie to her best friend or keep anymore secrets from her, she makes eye contact with Orita and gives an affirmative nod.
Orita holds onto Lexa's deep gaze for a few seconds and there among the glint she is so familiar with she sees something else, something sparkling in Lexa's irises that doesn't need any more confirmation. Orita jerks her face away, unable to hold back the tears that stream down her cheeks. "Jok!" She moves her head from side to side, "I'm so stupid!" Too much is happening at the same time for her and is overwhelming. She attempts to push herself up but Lexa stops her.
"Orita no!" Lexa pulls her down by the arm, "please, don't go."
Too tired to struggle Orita sits back down resigned, nevertheless she has something to say, "Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice is weak and full of distress.
Lexa shrugs, uneasily "I couldn't… it's crazy Orita, even for me. I-I was scared, I didn't think you would believe me."
"Of course I would have believed you; I'm your best friend!" Orita scolds.
Lexa is about to apologize but Orita continues.
"If you would've told me I would have never made the challenge in the first place! Heda Lexa and Wanheda's love story is legendary … and true." She shakes her head with incredulity. "You are the former heda," she beholds Lexa first with astonishment, then with sadness. "And you came back… for her. How could I interfere with such a sacred love… how?" Orita laments.
Lexa extends a hand to place it on Orita's back and this time there is no resistance.
"I can't compete with a love like that… with a woman like that" Orita chokes "she's so pretty; she is perfect."
"You are pretty too Orita," Lexa states sincerely, "beautiful and kind and funny" she rubs Orita's back soothingly.
The girl hiccups turning her head to the side, eying Lexa. Her lips tremble as she mumbles among the sobs she can't contain any longer. "I'm never going to see you again."
"Shh don't say that." Lexa embraces Orita, not liking to see her in this state, "of course we'll see each other again."
"But Wanheda said…"
"Clarke is just jealous and mad right now." Lexa counteracts caressing Orita's head on her shoulder. "She knows how important you are to me; she would never do such a thing. We just have to wait awhile until she gets over it."
Orita looks up; boring her tear-filled eyes into Lexa's as she whispers hopefully, "you promise?"
Moved by her friend's yearning Lexa offers a sly smile, "I promise." She kisses Orita's forehead as reassurance.
With a deep sigh Orita resumes her previous position on Lexa's shoulder and basks in the warmth and smell of the brunette. She clings onto her for dear life, never wanting to let go.
They remain in each other's arms for a good while in serene peace.
Orita is the one who breaks the tranquil moment, with a declaration that resonates deep within her heart. "I love you."
Lexa tenses up at the confession. She leans back to be able to see her friend properly. It's not like she didn't know about her feelings before but to hear it out loud; from Orita's own lips is a completely different thing. She gapes at her friend's face in wonderment; up this close, able to notice certain details she hadn't in the past. Like the delicate contours of Orita's nose and cheekbones, the plethora of shades in Orita's beautiful hazel eyes, the curve of her soft pink lips. 'She is gorgeous' Lexa admits to herself; incapable of denying how attracted she is to the girl … how she always has been.
Orita notices something change in Lexa and she gulps in anticipation; her eyes fixating suddenly on the brunette's full lips.
Cupping Orita's face in her hands, Lexa slides her thumbs across the girl's cheeks and wipes at the streaks visible there. 'You can't do this,' Lexa's conscious seems to be telling her 'this is not right, she's your friend; and also Clarke, what about Clarke?' She tries to stop whatever is happening inside of her, fighting her own cravings.
"She was willing to die for you. She knew she was gonna lose but either way she did it for you; because she loves you. I think it is only fair to share a part of you with her; she deserves it."
Clarke's words resonate in Lexa's head; like pushing her, almost convincing her. But before she can make a decision, Orita does it for her.
The young blonde leans forward, taking Lexa's lips into hers.
Lexa is taken aback, but she reciprocates soon enough.
The kiss is tender at first, proving and full of doubt; but as Orita moans into her lips, Lexa feels embolden and deepens it.
"Lexa," Orita abruptly pulls away; breathless, dizzy. "What are we…" she fails to finish the sentence as Lexa joins their lips once again.
Orita hums her approval before pulling back; this time with more difficulty. "But Wanheda…" she leans her forehead against Lexa's trying to get some air into her lungs.
"Shh." Lexa interrupts already clouded by desire. "She knows; she…" she swallows the remains of her guilt while making a request "lets not talk about her please."
Orita opens her mouth to ask what she means but Lexa pushes her down on the furs with her own body, causing the other teen's breath to hitch.
Now on top of Orita, in complete control, Lexa breathes hard enjoying this power and dominant position.
"Lexa wh…ugh!" Orita pants when Lexa skillfully parts her legs with her knee, fitting between them. She forgets how to think the moment she feels Lexa's full weight on her body.
"Wow," Lexa lets out losing herself in the contact. She closes her eyes for a second, basking in this new experience, in this carnal need she never felt before. When she opens her eyes again, she gazes into Orita's with a devilish smirk that clearly shows her intentions.
Orita has time to only gulp, before Lexa's mouth is devouring hers… and she's not complaining.
For the rest of the night, Lexa succeeds in pushing Clarke to the very back of her mind.