Lexa and Clarke confront each other… in more ways than one. Indra enlightens Octavia.

xxxx

Hello my dear readers! Do you still remember me? lol hope you are still interested in my fic and continue to enjoy it :D

Ps: btw this week is my B-day so this chapter may as well be a gift for myself lol Happy b-day to all Scorpios around ^ ^

ps 2: to the anon: you should check my fic on AO3, specifically the comment section and then get back to me ;)

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Octavia throws her arms up in the air in frustration.

"Are you… are you serious?" Lexa asks worriedly.

"As a heart attack," Clarke states resolutely. She turns her head toward Octavia silently indicating what she wants her to do.

Octavia rolls her eyes in reaction to her friends' stubbornness. "Warriors!" She addresses her apprentices, "to the army field. Now!"

The young warriors dutifully march in the direction of the army training field, except for Esiry who gets closer to the other three women waiting for Octavia.

"Clarke what are you doing?" Lexa doesn't understand what has come over Clarke to do something like this.

"Something very, very stupid," Octavia interjects annoyed.

Clarke glares at Octavia for a few seconds then replies to Lexa "what do you think? We are going to fix things, c'mon ," she points to the spot she has chosen for their combat.

It doesn't take long for Esiry to figure out what is going on… and it frightens her.

"Seriously Clarke, just stop." Octavia protests and gets even more irritated. "This is ridiculous."

"What?" Clarke chuckles, "do you wanna be her champion or something?" She comments sarcastically. "Cause I'm totally up for it."

That does it for Lexa.

"No one fights for me!" Lexa exclaims defiantly, taking a step forward.

"Now we are talking," Clarke smirks and walks over to the spot she chose.

Octavia pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration, finding herself out of words.

"Wait a second!" Lexa speaks this time, using a tone just as authoritative as Clarke's.

It gets Clarke's attention.

The blonde immediately halts and cranes her neck to the side with a raised brow.

Making sure Clarke is listening to her, Lexa says "since you're so adamant on this nonsense, I wanna know something." She lifts her chin and asks challengingly, "Who am I fighting with, the Commander of the thirteen clans or Clarke?" She subconsciously pronounces her girlfriend's name harshly on the last syllable, like she used to in her previous life.

"That's actually a very interesting question." Octavia crosses her arms and stares at Clarke waiting for her reply. "Who's she fighting with huh?"

Clarke sneers; liking very much Lexa's contained aggressiveness. She doesn't say a thing; she just removes the commander pauldron from her left shoulder and hands it to Octavia.

No need for words, all of them understand the meaning of the action.

With that formality out of the way, Lexa removes the sword from its scabbard and gives it a few swings to demonstrate her abilities. "I'm gonna be fighting my foolish girlfriend then, perfect!" She adds mockingly; walking to their impromptu battle zone.

Octavia exhales loudly, shakes her head and faces Esiry. "We better go plangona, this is a lover's quarrel."

"But…" Esiry attempts to refute while looking at the couple.

Sensing her friend's concern, Lexa gives Esiry a slight nod, assuring her that everything will be fine.

Responding with the same gesture but still unconvinced; Esiry is forced by Octavia to leave the training area.

Now face to face, both lovers glare at each other, portraying their best intimidating faces; for now they are no longer girlfriends but foes.

"No Sky people weapons?" Lexa points at Clarke's belt.

"Hey! I would never use them on you!" Clarke feels offended by Lexa's insinuation. She lets an exasperated sigh escape her when Lexa stares at her expectantly. "That was low" Clarke mumbles begrudgingly, as she places the offending items on the ground.

"Are we still talking about your weapons?" Lexa remarks sardonically.

Clarke chooses to ignore the blatant recrimination, getting back in position.

They waste no time in starting the duel. Both circle each other with swords in their hands; studying their movements.

At some point Lexa realizes Clarke has no intention of striking first so she decides to make the first move.

The blow is soft but firm, enough to make a point; but of course Clarke is ready to deflect it with ease.

"I know there's more where that one came from" Clarke teases.

"Too bad for you I'm not an inexperienced girl you can beat the crap out of huh?" Lexa counteracts simply using Clarke's same irony.

But Clarke doesn't fall easily into provocation "well, that girl is not so inexperienced now… thanks to you," she accompanies the words with a sharp strike that contains evidence of jealousy.

Lexa understands clearly what Clarke is implying and she is not about to remain silent about the topic. "May I remind you, you were the one who told me to do it" she protects herself and hits back, striking also with her words "actually you commanded me to."

"And you were so very willing to comply, right?" Clarke pushes Lexa's sword aside with her own.

The sarcasm gets on Lexa's nerves. Her jaw twists before she counteracts "well, at least I didn't sleep with every girl in my village and surrounding vicinities."

The accusation hits Clarke like a ton of bricks. Truth is she never cared about what other people thought about her and her actions, especially regarding her personal life; but now that Lexa is the one judging her, it really affects her more than she ever imagined. Clarke could feel her face redden and burn with shame and anger at herself; her mind instantly coming up with a justification. "I thought you were dead!" She shouts, momentarily forgetting about the fight. "I was lonely and lost Lexa, what did you want me to do? To remain celibate for the rest of my life?"

"Celibate!" Lexa scoffs "nobody asked you to be celibate; but did you really have to sleep with half of Polis?"

"Fuck you Lexa!" Clarke barks feeling affronted "you have no idea what I went through!"

"And you think it was easy for me?" Lexa retorts irritated. "I had to wait twelve years for you Clarke! Twelve years in which I was fully conscious of you and our history!" She continues, also letting her guard down. "Don't you think I wanted to run to you as soon as I knew who I was?"

"But you still had hope!" Clarke interrupts upset, "I had nothing!"

"Yes I had hope; but I also had patience!" Lexa adds with conviction "and love."

"And I didn't?" Clarke snaps back. "Do you think I forgot about it?"

"That's not what I…" Lexa grunts, calming herself so as not to lose her point. "What I meant is that it has been difficult for the both of us yes, but our love is what kept us both alive, don't you see?"

There's a brief moment where a flash of tenderness crosses Clarke's features, but soon disappears when other memories invade her mind. "I don't know Lexa, as far as I'm concerned I've been the only one keeping myself alive," she holds onto her sword tighter as she enumerates each point. "Like when you sent your men to kill me just fresh off my ship, or when I had to navigate through acid fog, reapers, giant mutated gorillas and weird diseases…" Clarke takes a pregnant pause as her face twists with disdain to finally complement "or maybe when you left me and my people to die at Mount Weather."

Now it's Lexa's turn to be caught off guard by the recrimination. She swallows at the unwanted memories. "Clarke…" she starts, insecure. "You know I did it for my…"

"For your people, yeah." Clarke looks Lexa up and down. "I thought that was my excuse."

Lexa has to consciously stop herself from rolling her eyes at that; and even though she is certain Clarke knows her reasoning she wants to explain. "My hands were tied Clarke! It was you or my people! I know it must have seemed heartless and inconsiderate at the time, now I get it but you must understand that I was the commander back then, I had to think like one, act like one! It was just me deciding the best option for my people, it wasn't personal." Her hand subconsciously places itself on her chest as she finishes "but you have to know Clarke, it pained me to do that, I felt like my heart was being ripped in two."

"I bet!" Clarke clenches her jaw, "but excuse me if it's kinda hard to believe when you just simply walked away once you had your ass secured."

"I had no choice Clarke, we made a deal; I gave them my word!"

"So your word was worth more than the life of the woman you loved?!" Clarke spats having heard enough. "You had many other choices Lexa, you could have stayed, you could have played along! You could have said whatever you wanted to them but ultimately you should have turned your back on them and fight along with me!"

"Clarke…" Lexa's head moves from side to side, inadvertently emphasizing "I was the commander; I had to honor my word."

"Don't give me that bullshit about honor and your word;" Clarke glares at her "cause your word is worth shit if you choose the easiest way out, if you choose to walk away from a fight… from me."

If Lexa had any comeback, at that precise moment it completely vanishes from her head; she just remains rooted in place, speechless.

There was a time when she was one hundred percent certain the decision she made was the right one for her people; that her heart and feelings were a secondary matter that shouldn't interfere in her choices. But now, living in a peaceful world, having the time to reevaluate her options, she is not sure anymore; now that she already tasted the love that was denied to her in her previous life, what ifs invade her thoughts. Wasn't her love for Clarke worth the risk of betraying a verbal agreement? Her honor? Conflict is being created deep inside of her, questioning her own beliefs; making all the previous foundations of her formation as a commander crumble at the feet of her love for Clarke.

"I would never have done that to you" Clarke whispers in a raspy and pained voice.

The words bring Lexa back to reality. There's something on Clarke's face, in her eyes, her expression, that makes Lexa believe what her girlfriend is saying, and that causes her chest to become heavy which prevents her from speaking.

Unfortunately, Clarke doesn't take it as a good sign. "You have nothing to say? Hm?!" She yells reproaching "are you even sorry? Did you even care?"

Lexa's gaze falls onto Clarke as her mouth opens and closes; she's caught up in her own storm unable to form a coherent dialogue.

The lack of response infuriates Clarke who lifts her sword from its resting position. "OK then, if you don't want to talk, we don't have to talk."

"What?" Lexa barely has time to finish the one word question when she witnesses Clarke darting toward her with sword in the air. On pure warrior instinct she rapidly takes her own sword and blocks the sudden and strong hit. She doesn't have the opportunity to say anything else as Clarke delivers blow after blow. The dexterity Clarke is displaying is remarkable. At this point Lexa's arms are starting to hurt; she's doing her very best not to lose control, not to respond like she could under other circumstances; but her girlfriend is making it difficult for her.

"Is this all you have huh?" Clarke taunts "the former Commander of the thirteen clans is tiptoeing around a Sky woman?" She chuckles "never thought I'd see the day."

The provocation is causing something to burst deep within Lexa, a flow of emotion threatening to spillover like a fountain. Even though she tries hard to keep it at bay, to just protect herself and not strike back, Clarke's incessant jabs awakens something inside her. "Clarke stop…" she warns, pleading in a last attempt to avoid her temper from overflowing.

"Or what? What are you gonna do?"

Lexa can't take the pressure anymore; she is desperate, deflecting and ducking the attacks almost on autopilot; she feels at the verge of something not good and at that exact second, Clarke forcefully strikes her sword against hers, almost knocking the object out of her grasp.

And that is the final straw.

Lexa's whole demeanor switches, hardening her features. A familiar sense of strength engulfs her suddenly, empowering her as she holds onto the sword really tight with both hands, her lips curled into a scowl that says more than words ever could.

Brief seconds of silence pass where piercing blue eyes fix onto furious green.

A sudden battle scream emanates from the deepest core of Lexa's being, startling Clarke.

Clarke immediately takes a step back and gets ready; and luckily she does because the next thing she feels is how abruptly Lexa pushes her sword to the side and begins a series of jabs.

The same feeling that took over Lexa the day she fought with her father is now taking over again. She strikes mercilessly and unrelentingly, letting her energy consume her.

But Clarke won't relinquish; she makes use of her skills to get back at her girlfriend with all the same passion and strength she can muster. She's very aware Lexa is exactly where she wants her to be, nonetheless what she wasn't expecting is this side of her girlfriend, wild almost possessed. Clarke must admit it's kinda frightening even for her, but she doesn't let that detail distract her from trying to stay at the same level as Lexa.

Unfortunately for her, not even the training she endured at the hands of Indra and her own personal experiences are enough to defeat this new combative Lexa.

Advancing confidently, forcing Clarke backwards, Lexa launches with no reservation, heavy breaths escaping her. Despite the stamina and with all the mixed emotions and thoughts overwhelming her, Lexa decides to put an end to the encounter. She gives a final blunt swing straight at the center of Clarke's sword, effectively propelling it out of the blonde's hands. Next, just like she did with the ice nation man in the tower, she kicks Clarke in the middle of her chest, sending her to the floor with a loud thud.

"Shit." Clarke groans, squirming on the ground evidently in pain.

The mournful sound brings Lexa out of her current state, making her realize what she had done. She looks at Clarke alarmingly, her first instinct is to reach for her girlfriend but she refrains, clenching her hands in frustration; her eyes instantly filling with unshed tears.

"Is this what you wanted?" Lexa demands stepping closer; her voice cracking at the end. "Is this what you wanted? Do you feel better now?" She bores her eyes on Clarke's form on the floor, her chest heaving.

…

With her apprentices settled in and already training, Octavia heads for the arsenal to get some items; finding Indra doing her regular checkup.

Indra makes eye contact with her and nods as a salutation, but just when she's about to look away and get back to her tasks, she notices Octavia is glaring at her.

The younger warrior crosses her arms with a glower on her face, before issuing her query. "Do you know what Clarke is currently doing?"

"Um…" Indra blinks clueless.

"She challenged Lexa to a battle." Octavia lets out evidently annoyed.

"Oh!" Indra seems more amused than surprised.

"Did you know she was going to do this?" Octavia questions almost as an accusation.

"I had a vague idea," Indra informs and elaborates. "I advised her to deal with her personal issues as the commander, as a grounder. That wasn't exactly what I had in mind but since both of them are warriors, I don't see the problem."

"Jesus, Indra that's fucked up," Octavia utters in incredulity.

"Whatever she needs to clear the fog in her head." Indra shrugs.

Shaking her head in disapproval Octavia comments. "You know that is ridiculous, right?"

Indra's head jerks in Octavia's direction at the statement; she gives her former second a nasty look before asking in a serious tone, "Are you calling my traditions ridiculous?"

"uh um, that's not what I meant." Octavia tries to explain a bit nervously, "they are a couple you know? There are other ways to deal with it without them trying to fucking kill each other; I think it was a terrible decision for Clarke to do. "

"What would you prefer her to do?" Indra points out with animosity. "Grab a bottle of alcohol and drown her sorrows in it? Or perhaps whining her misfortunes to Raven?"

Octavia detects the sarcasm in Indra's voice immediately and knows those words are meant for her. She clenches her jaw but doesn't reply.

Not really paying attention to Octavia's reaction, Indra continues. "She's the Commander; she needs to be centered and assertive. If a little combat can fix whatever is troubling her well then that's exactly what she must do." Then something else comes to her mind and she doesn't hesitate into voicing it. "Didn't you do the same not so long ago?"

"It was different," Octavia justifies.

"Why is that? Cause you did it in a moment of blind rage disregarding the consequences, while Clarke is doing it having considered what she wants as the outcome in a controlled and thoughtful manner?"

And with that Octavia is left with no argument. She grunts considering what Indra just said to her. 'Could that be really it?' She wonders in silence 'could Clarke have seriously planned something like that?'

…

Having waited a few seconds to gather her bearings, Clarke slowly rises up from the ground, letting out small moans of pain in the process.

Lexa gulps and stays alert, preparing for whatever response her girlfriend may have.

Clarke briefly stretches out her body to help alleviate the tension in her aching muscles. Once she becomes more comfortable she nonchalantly straightens out her clothes, and runs her hands over herself to remove the dirt collected on them. Clarke then closes her eyes and takes a long deep breath and exhales slowly, with a semblance of relaxation. It's only when she notices Lexa's inpatient and guarded demeanor that she begins to speak in a very calm and collected way "as a matter of fact yes, I do feel better; how about you?"

That's when it hits her.

Despite still being angry with Clarke for making her fight and sensing traces of edginess still running through her veins, Lexa has to admit she is actually feeling less… conflicted. Her hand moves to her chest as she notices the heavy weight that ached within her a few minutes ago is gone and the negative thoughts that were in full mode in her mind have basically disappeared. She stares at Clarke, and becomes aware of the satisfied expression on her face. 'Damn you Clarke.' Lexa rolls her eyes realizing now what the blonde had in mind the whole time. 'Did she really challenge and taunt me just so we could have the chance of venting?' She chuckles to herself. 'Of course she did.'

Sometimes she forgets that Clarke has never been one to win a battle with force or conflict, but with resourcefulness and wit.

They actually weren't getting anywhere with their heavy emotions and feelings, they couldn't even manage to talk properly because of the tense atmosphere that surrounded them. So the first step in order to move forward was to let it all out, relieve their hearts and minds. How? As the warriors they are; by a physical confrontation where they could burn off steam and lash out at each other in a neutral environment. After that, with their psyches refreshed, they could think about talking; and that's exactly what Clarke just helped to accomplish. 'Clarke oh Clarke always wise beyond your years', Lexa contemplates how proud she is of her woman. 'A great commander indeed'.

The understanding on Lexa's features seems to be evident and Clarke believes there's no need to push for a reply to her question. Instead she takes it as a sign to carry on with what's next for them. "Tonight we talk. I'll be waiting for you on the throne room balcony; I'll see you later." Having said that she picks up her sword, places it behind her back and marches toward the tower, confident their "communication block" has been broken.

Lexa sighs feeling both relieved and scared; being fully aware this is the beginning of them trying to fix their issues.

This time hopefully, once and for all.