Hey there my dear readers! I'm doing my best to post at least once a month so I don't leave you without an update for too long. Sadly the unexpected passing of Naya Rivera really threw me off. I am a big Brittana fan so yeah… you may understand how I feel. Either way here I am with a new chapter. Our girls are each facing their own struggles doing their best to remain strong for the other. We will see the plot developing slowly, be patient. Now go ahead and read! Enjoy!
"It's not a safe bet but we have to start somewhere. We must inform the other clans to be prepared and possibly join us as we move" Octavia communicates to the others at the meeting.
"Are you sure we can trust Roan? I mean he has worked with Echo in the past, after all, they were very close", Bellamy interjects subtly trying not to question his sister's authority.
"Of course you know a lot about her", Myrreh voices loud enough for only Bellamy to hear.
Bellamy glares at his wife at the implication of her words. He doesn't like to be reminded of that part of his past, but he didn't have time to answer her back since Octavia was responding to his uneasiness.
"I've decided he can be trusted," Octavia replies. "But don't worry, it won't be done blindly. I will keep an eye on him and his whereabouts".
Once again, the meeting is interrupted by a messenger.
"Wanheda. The family of Miss Lexa is here".
The blood runs cold throughout Clarke's veins at the announcement. She swallows in an attempt to moisten her unexpectedly dry throat. Luckily she manages to hide her emotions and replies in her usual assertive manner. "Make sure the servants help them to settle comfortably into their rooms and advise them I'll be joining them shortly".
"As you wish, Wanheda"
….
The meeting wasn't exactly over but Clarke asked everyone to take a break. She certainly didn't want to but all of them needed to eat and, most importantly, she had to face the music. Standing in front of the door of Lexa's parent's room she tries to summon the necessary courage to knock. Since the moment she found out Lexa was kidnapped she had been trying to find the appropriate words to explain it to Lexa's parents, but she always comes up with nothing. She concludes there are no words to express what a failure she is for letting this happen to their daughter, how she failed to protect her. So not wanting to delay further what would be one of the most difficult moments of her life, Clarke knocks on the wooden surface.
"Come in", Jahnisce calls from inside the room.
With her hand on the doorknob and her heart in her throat, Clarke steps through into heartbreak.
Malku sitting on the edge of the bed looking defeated while holding little Adam in his arms and Jahnisce tenderly massaging his shoulders.
"Wanheda." Malku rises when he notices Clarke and bows to her.
After Jahnisce bows too, she wants to say something but refrains when she notices Clarke is about to speak.
"I want to begin by addressing the abrupt way you were transported here. I know it wasn't the most pleasant trip you have ever had but I believe it was important for you to be here. Not only because you would get the news first hand but because it would be safer." She stops for a moment, exhales deeply and attempts to carry on. "I also wanted to…" The words get stuck in her throat. She can feel the emotions threatening to overtake her from within but she won't let them. She takes a couple of seconds more to make sure her voice won't waver before continuing. "I am so sorry for allowing this to happen. You entrusted me with your daughter, you believed she would be safe with me, that I would be able to protect her, after all, I'm the commander but I… I failed you," she chokes, lowering her head in a submissive gesture, "and for that, I apologize".
"Wanheda…" Malku starts but his wife cuts in.
Jahnisce takes a few steps towards Clarke before speaking, kindness in her eyes. "There's nothing to apologize for. This was not your fault. There was no way you could have foreseen this. What happened to my daughter is the responsibility of those rebels and nobody else."
Clarke opens her mouth to object, though Jahnisce wouldn't let her.
"We already know who they are and how they work, they would've done it one way or another if not today, then in the future, but they would've persisted until they succeeded." Jahnisce states firmly "The fact it was her and you is a coincidence. They would've proceeded exactly the same regardless of who was in command."
Clarke, shaking her head in defeat, begins to crumble. Then her iron will reasserts itself, refusing to let her fall into despair.
Observing this Jahnisce takes Clarke's hands in hers and offers, this time with more familiarity. "Clarke, I know what you're going through, I know how painful this is for you. But don't worry, Lexa is gonna be fine." She smiles encouragingly "The spirits urged us to protect her when she was a baby and I'm unquestionably confident they will keep her safe now too. Have some faith, my child, they have a purpose with her… and you. So don't despair, let the spirits guide you and show you the way. We will have her back, you'll see." With that Jahnisce softly pulls Clarke toward her body and envelopes her in a maternal embrace.
Unable to resist the loving offering, Clarke holds onto the woman for dear life and allows her tears to fall freely on Jahnisce's shoulder.
Moved by the scene, Malku approaches the two women, surrounding them both in his strong arms.
Little Adam joins them seconds later.
All four take part in a lengthy, intimate embrace while consoling and comforting each other.
….
Lexa nervously keeps an eye on the man standing behind her as he waits for instructions.
Echo not wanting to repeat the same mistake of underestimating Lexa signals with her head for two other rebels to point their guns at Lexa. "Just in case you try something funny I must warn you, they won't hesitate to shoot you straight between the eyes." Then she adds manipulatively, "and well you wouldn't risk leaving Clarke without her girlfriend, right?"
Lexa knows Echo enough to understand that her threats are not ones to be taken lightly. But what set her off the most was the last statement. And Echo is right, she wouldn't risk her life because of her love for Clarke. So she surrenders and lets them proceed with whatever they chose to do.
It didn't take long for them to act.
The man presses his fingers into the muscles running up Lexa's neck, sending pain shooting through her neck and jaw. The intense pain immobilizes her, allowing a couple of rebels to untie her and reposition her on the post.
Now with Lexa facing the post the man lets go of her so he can rip open the back of her jacket and shirt.
As the cool air hits Lexa's back, she prepares herself mentally, aware of what is coming. This is not the first time Lexa has endured physical abuse and torture. In her previous life, she actually went through extensive training regarding these specific situations to prepare her to be the commander. Her memories concerning that part of her life are almost intact so that's not the problem. What is causing her to be hesitant is her new body. Commander Lexa's body was in great shape due to years of combat but now she is only a young girl, obviously lacking the toned muscles and endurance a full-on warrior would possess. Still, she inhales deeply vowing to do her very best to tolerate the pain that will be inflicted upon her.
"Tell me where the flame is?" Echo demands without wasting any more time.
"I told you already, it doesn't exist anymore", Lexa replies firmly.
With a scowl, Echo nods at the man standing behind Lexa. He immediately steps back, positioning the whip behind him to create the momentum needed.
…
Clarke looks at herself in the mirror as she holds onto the sides of the bathroom sink. After sharing the intimate moment with Lexa's family she retreated to her chambers renewed, feeling like she had let go of some of the pain that was in her heart with probably the only people who really understands what she's going through. Throwing water on her face to remove the traces of tears, Clarke glances up to ensure she looks presentable for her subsequent meetings, which will come one after the other until Lexa is back in her arms. As she dries her skin with a towel, she reflexes on Jahnisce's words and her certainty that Lexa will return to them. 'Have some faith'. Those words haunt Clarke. 'I wish I had that level of faith', she laments.
…
The fall of the whip strikes across Lexa's back, the crack of leather against flesh reverberating throughout the clearing.
…
A sudden shiver runs down Clarke's spine. Her eyes turn to the small window in her bathroom, thinking it was a cool breeze coming through but that wasn't it.
…
Lexa arcs her back at the first contact of the whip, opening her mouth in a silent scream, her fingers sinking into her palms as she attempts to put up with the punishment. Just as she had predicted, the pain is nothing like her new body had ever experienced before, it was simply unbearable.
"Hurts huh?" Echo has the audacity to ask. "Was that enough to refresh your memory?" She carries on, getting closer to Lexa. "Where is the flame!"
Shaking from the pain Lexa replies in a heavy and raspy voice. "The flame… was destroyed!"
"You fucking stubborn bitch" Echo spats. "You're gonna pay for it. Again!"
Without any more direction from Echo, the man proceeds to deliver a second blow.
…
Out of blue, Clarke is overtaken by a strong sense of anger, deeper than what she felt the moment she realized Lexa had been snatched. It is a kind of rage that gives her purpose and determination and not knowing why she let it consume her.
…
This time, Lexa is more prepared for the hit but that doesn't make it any less painful. She couldn't help emitting a deep grunt through tightly clenched teeth. The blow runs from her back straight up to her head, making her feel dizzy. She can't help but lean her body against the post.
"Third is the charm?" Echo questions angrily while pulling at Lexa's hair. "Where. is. the. flame!" She yells out each word, her impatience growing with each unanswered question.
Lexa lifts her head weakly and staring at Echo's face with glazed eyes she responds with panting breaths. "It's…gone".
Echo snarls letting go of Lexa in frustration. "HIT HER AGAIN!"
…
'For Lexa'. With that in mind, Clarke grabs the tin on a nearby shelf. She opens it, sinks her fingers into it, and applies war paint below her eyes with both her hands at the same time. Glancing into the mirror for the last time and with a whole new different energy Clarke leaves the bathroom to resume her meeting.
…
The third strike upon Lexa's back proves to be too much for the young girl. The agony is so intense and excruciating that she falls into unconsciousness.
When she finally opens her eyes, Lexa discovers she is no longer tied to the post. She finds herself in a more serene setting. The pain is gone. There's only a sense of peace in the air. She looks around and immediately recognizes the place.
"Oh no!" Lexa's heart is throbbing in her chest, "no, no please no… please!" She looks at her hands and then at her clothing. Her suspicions are confirmed.
It's the spirit world.
"You can't do this to me again, to Clarke, my fight is not over yet, please". Lexa begs the spirits with a trembling voice as desperation overtakes her.
"Don't worry, you're not dead".
An all too familiar voice reassures from behind.
Lexa stiffens. 'It's… it can't be'. She slowly turns around. "Costia!" She can't believe her eyes.
"Hello Lexa", Costia greets with her usual wave and smile. "It's nice to see you again".
"For the spirits!" Lexa runs and embraces her former girlfriend tightly. She then pulls away just enough to enable her to stare at the girl in wonderment. "How is this possible?" Lexa can't help asking the question.
"It's the spirit world, my essence lingers here".
"But I didn't see you last time, I didn't see anyone. I was here alone feeling the spirits. And then I returned to the living".
"Well, your first time here was for only a brief moment. The spirits had other plans for you. Like right now, you can see me because they once again have plans."
"Then, how can I be here? I mean you said I'm not dead".
"Let's just say you have privileges", Costia chuckles. "You've been here before, you crossed the threshold of death and came back to life, so the spirits have left the door open for you always", she explains. "Besides, I guess you're a favorite", she finishes with a playful grin.
"I don't …" Lexa shakes her head confused.
Costia takes hold of Lexa's hand and says sweetly, "as I said the spirits have plans. They want me to tell you not to worry, you will be Okay. You will survive this."
The weight on Lexa's shoulders suddenly disappears at the affirmation, as she completely puts her trust in the spirits. "Oh, thank you". Lexa closes her eyes and takes both of Costia's hands in hers.
"But it doesn't mean it's gonna be easy", Costia warns, yet she hurries to add. "But you have nothing to worry about. There are a lot of people looking out for you who are gonna help you, even from here."
"Even from here?" Lexa questions curiously.
"C'mon, let me explain it to you". Costia pulls Lexa by her hand and they begin to walk.
...
Back at the meeting which now included Malku and with everyone having their specific task to perform, Octavia delivers the final instructions.
"Each clan must search their own surrounding land first and report back with their findings so we will be able to deploy the army accordingly. We will be sending our first team out after this meeting is concluded, to sweep the area nearby."
Everyone present nods their head in agreement to the strategy.
"That will be all for now," Clarke announces, wanting to move ahead quickly with the exploration of the first team.
"The next time we meet I will have news regarding the interrogations." Octavia finishes.
"You are dismissed." Clarke orders.
One by one the heads leave the premises.
Once there are only familiar people remaining Bellamy comments. "Myr and I will join the team in the search".
"Good." Octavia nods. "I'm gonna get that settled and then I will check into how the interrogations are going."
"Let me know what you found out", Clarke requests. "I will call Arkadia and check to see if Miller is back from boot camp."
"Keep me posted". With that Octavia signals Myrreh and Bellamy to follow her.
Awkwardly Malku approaches Clarke and asks, "is there anything I can do Wanheda?"
Clarke offers a half smile. "I think the best thing you can do now is being with your family, they need you. Don't worry I will let you know if there is any new information".
Obedient as always Malku bows and retreats, also paying his respects to the other authorities still there.
Abby is hesitant to leave Clarke alone but knowing she must fulfill her duties, she speaks. "I better go to the clinic and make sure everything is ready for… what's to come". The moment Clarke turns to acknowledge her, Abby feels intimidated. She senses Clarke's different and strong vibe; it's like the small amount of war paint bellow her eyes has completely transformed her demeanor and poise. Sounds silly but that's how she perceives her. The woman standing in front of her is without a doubt the commander of the thirteen clans, and as hard as it is still to accept, at this point she must come to terms with it and act accordingly.
Surprisingly, Clarke seems to understand what is troubling Abby. "It's Okey mom", she responds kindly. "You can go. I will send for you once the next meeting is arranged".
Abby smiles weakly as she reaches for Clarke's hand and holds it for a moment before letting go and disappearing out of the meeting chambers.
With her absence silence reclaims the room, the echo of Abby's retreating footsteps growing fainter.
Clarke, deep in thought almost forgets she isn't alone until a hand on her shoulder alerts her of the other woman's presence.
"She may be young but she's strong; she's a warrior, after all, don't forget that," Indra assures. "The spirits will help her, she's going to come back to us soon. I'm truly convinced of it."
Clarke places a hand on top of Indra's, in a silent thank you for her support. Even though she's starting to believe the spirits may actually help her girl, she just can't shake the bad feeling that comes from the pit of her stomach. 'I hope she's Okay, please be Okay'.
…
"All the people here who were good at heart, depending on certain circumstances and moments in life, are allowed to come back to earth in spirit form, with the sole purpose of protecting and guiding someone they loved." Costia enlightens. "And lets just say more than one was willing to protect you and now they are." She adds cheekily.
The whole explanation sounds so surreal to Lexa. She watches Costia with blinking eyes until a one-syllable question finally escapes her mouth. "How?"
Already used to Lexa's state of astonishment Costia patiently explains. "They are allowed to inhabit a soul of their choice, that way they can be close to you in human form."
"So it's like reincarnation, like me?"
"No. As I said your case it's an exception to the rule. So far, you are the only person the spirits have allowed to come back again, you are special." Costia emphasizes. "They can only be in a person's soul as a voice in their subconscious, that creates within them an instinct to protect the person they love. There are no memories, it's just feelings" she clarifies.
"WOW". Lexa is blown away but then her curiosity kicks in again. "And who's there, guiding me?"
That information Costia is very happy to share. "Well, there's Anya, Gustus … me" she reveals mischievously.
"You? What …" Lexa begins to question but the next name mentioned by Costia leaves her completely perplexed.
"…even Clarke".
"Wait a second", Lexa interjects. If this whole situation didn't sound odd enough already, the name of her girlfriend thrown into the mix sounds implausible. "Clarke is not dead Costia, that doesn't make any sense".
"She was for a brief moment when she entered the city of light." Costia reminds her. "That was enough time for her to cross into the spirit world." Then she adds with a smirk. "She was so feisty that even in those few seconds while she was here, she made a big impression. She was bestowed the right to be next to you in her spirit form too."
Lexa was astonished and intrigued now, she needed to know more. "And who is who?"
Costia chuckles, of course, Lexa was going to ask that… but that doesn't mean she is going to disclose everything. "That's for you to figure out", she pokes at Lexa's nose like she used to do.
"Hey, that's not fair!" Lexa complains.
Not having the will to deny Lexa, Costia concedes "Fine. I can only speak for myself though and all I can say is, I'm a friend. I understand clearly that you and Clarke are meant for each other, so I'm close to you as a really good friend".
Lexa wipes her hands over her face, overwhelmed. "this is so…"
"I know". Costia takes Lexa by the arm in an attempt to comfort her. She gives Lexa a few seconds to process the news before she sadly informs. "It's time. You have to go back".
"What no!" Lexa exclaims "There's a lot of catching up to do; I still don't want to go". She pleads, holding Costia's hands.
Costia tenderly looks at Lexa. "You must return Lexa, destiny must be fulfilled. This is a gift to you, remember not many have this privilege".
With sadness on her face, Lexa nods her acceptance. But before the inevitable happens she decides to voice what she wanted to say for a long while now but never had the chance to. "Hey", she waits for Costia's full attention before continuing. "I want to apologize for what they did to you. I'm sorry for what they put you through because of me, I wish I could have…"
"Shh". Costia puts a finger on Lexa's lips. "No need for apologies, that wasn't on your hands. It was supposed to be that way, everything has a purpose. Besides, I wasn't a damsel in distress Lexa, I was Trikru remember?" She proclaims with pride in her voice. "We are warriors till our last breath."
The admission is no consolation for Lexa but as a warrior herself, she understands the sentiment. She remains silent for a moment as she reflects on Costia's words. With something else on her mind she stares directly into Costia's eyes and confesses. "My love for you was never a weakness. I may have tried to convince myself of it but I never believed it. Love is not a weakness."
"Of course it wasn't". Costia affirms holding Lexa's gaze, letting her know she truly believes in her and her love. "OK." She gives Lexa's hands a gentle squeeze. "Now you really have to go." She offers one last smile before disclosing. "It was wonderful being able to talk to you like this again. You're special to me Lexa com Trikru, and you always will. Be strong and hang in there and remember that all of us are always with you. Help will come soon. Please enjoy the chance the spirits gave you to reunite with your soul mate and live that love like the treasure it is. May we meet again". With that she slowly lets her fingers slide over Lexa's palm.
Lexa savors the feeling of her first love's fingers on her skin for the last time. As the soft touch fades, a bright light forces her to close her eyes.
…
A stinging slap across her face and the agony in Lexa's back and head comes back full force. Glancing up Lexa sees Echo, smirking down at her, confirming that her soul is back on Earth. She groans for both the pain returning and the sadness of not seeing Costia anymore.
"Oh wow", Echo exclaims. "Three little smacks and you're out? Now I'm the one that's disappointed." She looks Lexa up and down. "You're nothing like your old self. You're indeed just… a girl", she laughs condescendingly. "I can't believe Costia had more endurance than you".
Lexa's head snaps up, glaring at Echo ferociously, not for the mocking statement but because of Costia and the torture she suffered at the hands of the Ice Nation. But it was a bad decision; her head feels like it's about to split open because of the effort. Her head drops down, she has the feeling she's going to pass out again.
"This is so embarrassing to watch, I can't stand it". Echo mutters rolling her eyes and then orders "Take her away!".
Lexa is immediately removed from the post and dragged to a tent especially prepared for her.
As the rebels observe Lexa being carted away, the man that shot the dart at her, speaks to Echo. "We will try again tomorrow. Lets not forget behind that young body hides the commander who killed Queen Nia in a strategic scheme. We must double our efforts. She will have to speak eventually".
Echo stands quietly, staring ahead in a pensive mood for a few seconds until she finally replies. "No. Lexa of Trikru is many things but she's not a liar. She can be an insufferable bitch but she has honor. If she says she doesn't know where the flame is, it's because she truly doesn't." She finalizes fully convinced.
"Then, that means… is it really gone?" The man asks frustrated.
"Or, our current very much in love commander doesn't share everything with her girl after all". Echo points out suspiciously.
The rebels listening, observe her with surprise, as they consider if this theory could be credible.
"If that's the case and Clarke is in fact hiding the flame, what do we do?"
"We could play it like we want to negotiate the girls' release in exchange for the flame".
One rebel warrior start throwing ideas.
"I don't know". Echo has her doubts. "Clarke can be impulsive but she's not stupid. We have to think carefully about what to do next". She concludes.
"Either way once we get the flame, we still need a carrier." Another female rebel comments. "The only nightblood warrior is in Polis. Getting to her won't be easy."
"Yeah," Echo laments but doesn't waste any time. "I expect all of you in my tent in a couple of hours, we have to come up with a new strategy and soon. Be punctual". Saying that she retreats to her tent.
A little more than an hour later Echo is in her tent concentrating on new ideas for the meeting when one of her warriors requests entry. "What is it?" She demands.
"I heard you are looking for someone to infiltrate Polis." He replies. "I got a recruit from one of our villages who could perhaps be useful".
Echo nods firmly.
"Come in" the man orders.
Echo observes the recruit now inside the tent from head to toe. 'Young and unimpressive.' She thinks to herself. 'this could work'.