"Stop." Sam groaned and twisted on her bed, "Stop!" Louder, "STOP!" The teenager finally woke up with a start. Her heart beating out of her chest. Her breathing ragged. She looked at her surroundings wildly for a moment. She inhaled deeply and tried to hold in her tears of confusion and fear.
Breathe Sam. Breathe. She reminded herself, before panicking. You're home. You're safe. Mom and dad are in the other room.
It used to be that her parents would have to calm her down, but she had gotten better at doing it herself. Well, in reality, she hadn't had nightmares in a while, so there wasn't a need for that comfort, but lately they had resurged. And Sam, not wanting to further burden her stressed parents did not cry for them the moment she woke up frightened, or jump out of her bed and move to their room to sleep for the night, gently nudging one of them until they woke up enough for her to tell them she had another nightmare. The teenager would relish in their warm arms and gentle whispers until she felt okay once more and fell back asleep. Nowadays, the teenager cringed at the thought of having to wake them up. Sleep was precious to her mom and dad. Her brother and sister already disrupted them enough, and they would always hug her and tell her how glad they were that she was 15 and not six months old. She knew that it was told to her in jest. But, with every joke comes a kernel of truth.
After finally feeling okay enough, Sam laid back down onto her bed and sniffled away her tears. She did a quick check of the time. It was three in the morning. She had to be up in a few hours for school. Sometimes she wished she could be as small as Riley and Carter, so that it was okay to cry in the middle of the night and wake up your parents, only to feel your entire self fit into their arms and be rocked to sleep.
… … …
It was 7 in the morning. Sam sat at the kitchen island with a bowl of now soggy cereal. She had already drank her coffee, leaving some in the pot for her mother as well. But her dad made her eat something else, spewing that coffee wasn't breakfast. So Sam poured herself some Lucky Charms.
She sighed heavily as she watched the scene in front of her.
Her brother, just five minutes ago, had a meltdown of some sort when Lucas was trying to feed him the strained fruit. Scratch prunes off the list of food to offer him. In his outburst the food flew onto the floor, and that only made the infant even more upset.
"Shit." Lucas breathed out, as his son wailed. They were going to be late to work at this rate.
He gave his eldest a quick glance before gently picking a wailing Carter up, rocking him and shushing him softly.
"Sam, can you clean this up while I calm him down?"
The little boy most certainly did not want prunes. He wanted his mommy's milk. Why was his dad being so mean? That's all he wanted!
Brooke came in holding Riley a few moments later, having just changed her diaper.
"What happened?" She asked Lucas, as the boy was calming down. She saw Sam cleaning some purple looking content on the floor. The prunes. Riley loved those, but Carter hated them. Lucas always forgot that.
The mother put Riley in her highchair and pecked her forehead.
"He refuses to eat." Lucas said with a sigh, still bobbing the boy up and down.
Brooke uncapped a cup of baby food for Riley, "Because he hates prunes and loves bananas. Remember?"
Lucas's face fell, "Oh…right."
"I just pumped and put the milk in the fridge last night. You should give him a bottle. He'll drink that." Brooke went over and kissed Carter's cheek, "Won't you baby? "
The little boy indulged his mother with a smile that made Brooke turn to mush every single time, "Yes you will my little man."
After having thrown away the napkin she used to clean the floor, Sam passed her parents to get to her chair, but felt a gentle tug on her arm. Her mother pulled her in for a long hug and a kiss on her hair, "Morning honey." She spoke softly, loving the feeling of Sam's arms around her.
"Morning mom." Sam said snuggling into Brooke's chest for a moment, breathing in her mom's perfume. Brooke smiled. Her eldest baby.
But Brooke let go of their embrace when she heard Riley cry out in the high chair. Her stuffed hippo no longer entertaining her.
Lucas moved with Carter sill in his arms and went towards the fridge. He grabbed a milk bag and put it on the counter.
"Here dad, I'll hold him." Sam offered. Lucas accepted the help gratefully.
The teenager slid her arms under her little brother's chubby arms, "Why are you so picky, thing 1?" She said, patting his back and sitting him on her lap, while she sat on the stool. The little boy patted her cheek, "Ah, ah. Pa!" He sputtered and then bent towards the island, reaching for the shiny spoon in Sam's bowl to play with.
Lucas finally got the bottle ready, while Brooke was feeding Riley the strained fruit. He picked Carter back up and pecked Sam's head, "Thanks champ."
The girl gave her dad a smile, but Lucas missed the sad frown that crossed her face as she stared down at her cereal. Her parents were really preoccupied the past two weeks, with the basketball season in full swing, her mother preparing for some big board meeting, and coming home to two babies to care for, there wasn't a lot of room for quality time. To Brooke and Lucas, it felt like they had just gotten used to how to deal with being there for all their children, now they had to adjust quickly and figure out how to be there for their three kids when their works schedule also turned extremely busy. It really wasn't easy, and unfortunately, their eldest got the short end of the stick sometimes.
Meanwhile Sam did her best to not add on to her parent's stress. Sam was a pro when it came to staying out of the way. That's what fourteen years of foster care did to you anyway.
Don't be a burden for your foster parents.
They would tell them.
Make their life as easy as possible.
And so, in the past two weeks, without knowing, Sam started to fall into some old patterns, with all those mantras in mind. She just wanted to see her parents unburdened again, and she was not going to stand in the way of that happening.
She would look down a lot and avoid eye contact with her parents when they seemed particularly stressed. She would spend most of the time at home in her room and in the basement. She'd come home later than usual, spending afternoons at friends' houses.
Of course, the family still had dinner together and Brooke or Lucas would come into her room to say goodnight, but they just seemed so rushed. Burdened. Their mind was always everywhere and scattered and it was very apparent to the 15 year old.
After spacing for a moment, Sam slinked out of the kitchen, unnoticed, to grab her things for school. She was heading out early for Glee practice and Manny's dad was picking her up.
The girl got a text from Manny two minutes later saying they were outside. She heard a really loud cry as she was descending down the stairs and her mother yell "Luke!"
She figured her dad had stepped out of the kitchen.
"Coming!" Her dad yelled from upstairs.
This time it was Riley crying, and not her brother. She was originally going to go into the kitchen and say bye, but her parents were busy, and really, she did not want to get handed a child to hold right now. She'd be late. So the girl just yelled out a "bye guys" and headed out before her parents tried to stop her.
It's not like they would anyways. Sam thought.
They had to finish feeding the babies to drop them off at Peyton's, since Karen was unavailable, and then finish getting ready for work on top of that. Every minute counted. Time was of the essence. They couldn't waste it on Sam.
The girl tightened her hand on the strap of her bag as she walked towards a waving Manny. She gave her friend a big smile. Her heart wasn't in that smile, though. Nobody would be able to notice.
Things will get easier. She'd tell herself. Riley and Carter will be one soon.
Truly though, if Sam was honest with herself, what she missed the most was how things used to be. When it was just mom, dad, and Sammy.
… …. ….
The teenager now sat in her last afternoon class. Algebra 2. Slowly, more students started to trickle in. Today was exam day. Sam wasn't too worried. She figured that she'd receive a B or B+ on the test, and that was fine with her. She was never a whiz at math, but she could always get B's and A's in the classes.
Neither Liz or Manny were in this class with her. Bummer. But one rather annoying girl was. Ashley. Ever since the incident last year they had managed to stay away from one another. Past seeing each other in their English and biology class, they only gave glances at one another in the halls.
Now, in their sophomore year, they had Algebra 2 together and were unfortunately seated together by their teacher three weeks ago. The room was organized into pods. Four desks a pod, and Ashley sat in the desk directly in front of Sam. Ashley protested, but their teacher, Mr. Ross, ignored her and told her to stop whining. Sam just shrugged at the glare Ashley gave her and told her to deal with it. "Whatever." She huffed at Sam.
They had been getting on each other's nerves ever since they'd sat next to each other. Ashley's little annoying comments, and Sam's ability to shut her up with one insult. The tension between the two was growing.
A screech against the tile had Sam bring her head up. Ashley had pulled her chair out from under the desk quickly, and flopped down. Sam rolled her eyes and Ashley gave her a glare. The bell rang right after, preventing any conversation from the two. Thank God.
Sam sighed and looked into her bag for a pencil, Ashley doing the same.
"Alright class, you'll have the entire period for this exam. I suggest you start with the harder questions in the back. And, remember, you may use your calculator." Mr. Ross told his students, then handed out the exam.
Fifteen minutes in, Sam was done with the two hard questions, leaving her with eight more to go.
She looked up to check how much more time she had and noticed that Ashley was cheating off her. The girl would normally let it go if it was any other person, but this was Ashley, and they couldn't stand each other. Sam looked up and saw that Mr. Ross was answering a girl's question up front. Their pod was in the back. "Stop." She hissed through a whisper at Ashley.
"I can do what I want." Ashley shot back. Sam just covered her test with her other arm. She heard the word 'bitch' come out of Ashley's mouth.
"Shhh!" One of the other girls in their pod directed at the both of them.
By the end of the class, Sam was ready to book it out of the room and find Manny or Liz. She grabbed her bag from her chair and slung it around her shoulder.
"You're such a fucking goody two shoes." Ashley told her with anger in her eyes before Sam could leave.
Sam knew the right thing to do was to ignore her, but for some reason she just couldn't. Mr. Ross had left the room momentarily to talk to another teacher. This was her chance.
"Shut up Ashley." Sam spat, "Why the hell would you think that I'd let you cheat off me?"
The taller blonde scoffed, "God Sam, because everyone does it!" She rolled her eyes, "You make everything such a fucking big deal."
"Just fuck off. I don't care, you're not cheating off me. I'll tell Mr. Ross next time." Sam slammed her chair into the desk.
"Oh my God!" Ashley groaned, "You cried to Mrs. Scott about the test we stole and now about this too? Stop being such a crybaby about everything!"
Sam hated being called that word. "Well at least I'm smart enough to graduate without my mommy coming in and arguing my case to all my teachers when I fail!"
Ashley bit her lip. Sam smirked. She had got her.
But Ashley decided to prey on Sam's vulnerability, the way Sam had done with her, "Do you cry at home about everything too?" Her eyes narrowed tauntingly at Sam, "I don't know how Ms. Davis or Mr. Scott deal with you."
Sam felt her heart beat faster.
Don't hit her.
"Just shut up, and leave me alone!" The small brunette spit, pushing Ashley slightly with her shoulder. Ashley felt anger course through her at the physical shove, "I feel bad for your parents Sam!" She yelled as the girl left. She couldn't help it. The blonde did not appreciate what Sam had said about her intellect and the shove that she received, "I hope your baby brother and sister don't turn out like you!"
Sam managed to leave before Ashley could see the tears that welled up in her eyes. She spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get what Ashley said out of her head.
"She's just an idiot Sam. You know those things aren't true." Jack whispered to her as they laid on Liz's floor together. He rubbed her arm up and down, while he spooned her. Liz and Manny were in the kitchen looking through the menus, trying to figure out what they wanted for dinner.
"No kissing!" Liz yelled playfully to Sam and Jack.
"Yeah." Sam sighed in reference to Jack's comment and not Liz.
"You should talk to your parents about it." He advised.
Sam sat up and Jack followed her lead. She rested her back on the front of the couch.
"I know you said they've been busy, but maybe when Riley and Carter are asleep."
"I guess." Sam fidgeted with her fingers. Jack kissed her lips, "You guess, but I know." He said with a small smile.
Sam checked the time on her phone while Jack played with her hair. It was going to be 7 pm. She really felt like going home. Her dad had their qualifying game, and would be back late. The drive back without traffic was two hours alone, but her mother would be home with the twins. Maybe by the time she got there, her mom would've put them to bed and Sam would have a chance to talk to her, or at least spend time with her. Sam felt out of sorts, and wanted her parents. Everything Ashley had said was a lie. She understood this. But the girl also knew it would do her good to just talk out her emotions.
She apologized to her friends and Jack, but they all understood. She got one long kiss from Jack, which ended up in fake gagging noises from their audience.
"MOM?" Sam called out once she closed the door to her house. She hadn't checked to see if her mother's car was in the garage.
The teen saw no sign of Brooke in the living room. She went upstairs, thinking she was in the nursery. She threw her bag in her room first, "Mom?" She said quietly and opened the door, but once again, nothing. The girl slumped her shoulders.
She tried her parent's room, "Mama, are you in here?"
Finally, she went back to her room and checked her phone that she had left in her bag. Sure enough, there was a missed call and a voicemail from Brooke.
"Hi sweetheart. I'm going to get home at around nine today. Carter got a fever and Peyton took him to the hospital for precaution. So I left the office an hour ago and I'm here now with her and Riley. And don't worry, everything will be fine. It's probably just the flu. You haven't texted to let me know where you are so I'm assuming you're home. Please call me or dad when you get this, okay? I love you peanut and I'll see you soon."
Sam ended the voicemail and threw her phone onto her carpeted floor. She hadn't realized how emotional she was about all of it until after hearing her mother's message. Sam was mad. Why couldn't one of them just be here? She needed one of them tonight. Instead, her home was empty. Her parent's weren't here. They never were. Not anymore. At least not there for her. They couldn't be, because she was 15 and capable. Her brother and sister were dependent on them for everything. They needed her mom and dad more than she did, and she needed to be okay with that, right?
This was, at least, what was going through her mind. On any other day Sam might not have felt this way. But, regardless of the reality, Sam felt terribly alone at the moment. She started to cry, and out of anger, threw one of her shoes at her mirror, effectively shattering the glass.
Sam yelled out a loud "FUCK!" to the empty house. On top of everything else she was for sure going to get scolded for that. The 15 year old grabbed her phone and bag and slammed the door to her room. She needed to get out and walk, and so that's exactly what she did.
Her music was blasting in her ears as she roamed the streets of Tree Hill. She hadn't called her mother or father like Brooke had requested. The teenager was feeling spiteful. I mean, could you blame her?
Thirty minutes later Sam decided that she needed to make a decision about where she was going if she planned on walking any further. She was at a cross section between Garfield and Cleveland street. She was close enough to walk to her Aunt Haley's house. She gave another glance at her phone and sighed, giving in to the nagging voice in her head that told her she needed to at least let her mom know she was out. She did not call though. Instead she sent Brooke a quick text, "I'm out. I'll be back by curfew."
"Who's at the door?" Nathan asked Haley as he looked up from the video game he was playing and losing substantially with Jamie.
Haley looked up from her book when the second ring came, "I'm not expecting anyone."
She was surprised to see Sam when she opened her front door. It was clear to the mother and aunt that she bad been crying at some point. "Sammy, come in." Haley urged her.
Sam gave her aunt a weak smile, and was pulled in for a long hug once Haley closed the door. "Is everything okay?" She asked the girl.
A shrug came, "I just, um, wanted to come over. You said I could when I wanted a break." She looked at Haley's eyes for a moment before looking back down.
"You're right. I did. Do you want to talk about it?"
Sam was going to automatically say no, but she stopped and took in her aunt for a second,
"Ummm…yeah. Can we?"
She needed somebody, and her aunt was offering herself. She was just as old as her parents, just as wise and wiling to offer comfort and words. Of course, it wouldn't be the same, but maybe it was enough.
Haley gave her a wide smile, glad that Sam wanted to open up, "Of course. Just go up to my room, okay? I'm going to tell Jamie and Nate that you're here."
"Thanks Aunt Haley." Sam told her before heading up.
When Haley walked up she saw that Sam was seated on the edge of the bed. Her hands in her lap. The girl was already small, but she looked all of ten years old as she fidgeted, crossing and uncrossing her feet, a clear pout on her face.
Haley felt an overwhelming amount of empathy for her niece. She sat next to her and Sam's blue eyes flicked up at her, "I'm here Sammy. What's going on?"
… … …
Brooke looked down at her youngest daughter. The fashion designer was sitting on the floor with Riley between her legs. The baby was playing happily with her blocks and hippo. Meanwhile, Carter was asleep. The flu medicine the doctor gave him knocking him right out. Riley had woken up thirty minutes ago and was wide awake. The trip to the hospital had really messed up Riley's sleeping schedule.
The day had been long and exhausting, especially without Luke to help her, but Brooke smiled in spite of it all as she heard her baby girl babble to herself.
"Having fun Ri?" Brooke whispered.
"Ma. Ga Ah!" The six month old squealed. The mother laughed, "That's exactly right my little marshmallow."
Unfortunately, the smile fell when Brooke caught sight of one of the picture frames with Sam in it. Where the hell was her daughter? And why did she think it was okay to just say she was "out" without any details? It was a Friday night and Brooke didn't expect her to stay home, but she did expect to know where she was. It was getting late and Brooke had been worried about Sam since she was at the hospital, when didn't receive any message or call from her daughter. Even still, the message Sam finally sent was not helpful. The mother was not happy with her oldest.
It was almost ten when Brooke was bathing Riley in the sink. Her phone started to ring and she gave her youngest daughter a kiss on the nose that elicited a sweet giggle from the child. "Gimme one second sweetheart." Brooke told her as she wiped her hands and grabbed her phone. It was Haley.
"Hey Hales." Brooke said on the phone. She quickly put it on speaker so she could finish bathing Riley before it got too cold. The girl was starting to get fussy, a good sign that she was getting tired. Luckily she just had to rinse off all the soap.
"Hey you! I just wanted to let you know that we have Sam over here. I'm not sure if she told you, but I called just in case."
Brooke stopped and blinked for a second. Riley started to whimper and that brought her back, "She's with you? At home?"
"I'm assuming that means she didn't tell you?"
Brooke sighed and lifted Riley out, wrapping her in a towel and holding her close to her. She picked up her phone and managed to maneuver it back near her ear. She decided to sit down in the kitchen table and dry Riley off there so she could talk to Haley.
"No. She told me she was out and would be back by curfew. I was wondering where she was. I've been worried. Is she okay? When did she get to your house?"
Haley leaned on her kitchen island as she watched Nathan, Sam, and Jamie, all playing monopoly in the living room.
"I'd say about two hours ago. I think she just needed someone to talk too. She had a rough day at school."
Brooke's heart fell when she heard that Sam's day was hard. She kissed Riley's head and took in her scent. "Oh no." Brooke sympathized with Sam, "What happened Hales?"
"She just had a long Glee practice, an exam in her math class, and apparently Ashley tried to cheat off her, but Sam refused. Some words were exchanged. The girl told her some pretty nasty things about her being a goody two shoes and a crybaby. Then Sam basically called her too stupid to graduate."
"Shit." Brooke breathed out.
"Yeah it looks like her and Ashley have been down each other's throats ever since they started sitting together about three weeks ago. It's been a reoccurring argument between the two."
Brooke thought back hard in her mind. Had Sam mentioned any of this about Ashley with her before? Did she know that Sam had an exam or an early practice? They had heard her yell out a bye to them, and she didn't even notice that it was earlier than usual.
And, how long had it been since they took Sam to school? Lucas was going into work an hour after the first bell since he didn't have a first period so Sam was going on the bus, with Liz, or Manny. Brooke started to feel a sense of guilt bubble up.
"Is Sam really upset right now?" The worried mother asked.
Haley took another look into her living room, "She's enjoying herself with Nate and Jamie. A riveting game of monopoly."
Haley heard Brooke give out a small chuckle.
The teacher, mother, and aunt gave out a sigh, "I think it was just a long day and she needed to talk it out with somebody. She didn't really cry. It was more frustration than anything, but I have a feeling there's more she's not telling me."
Brooke looked down at Riley who was playing and pulling at the fabric of her shirt. Brooke wished Sam could be that small sometimes. That the only problems her 15 year old had could be fixed with a wet wipe to her bottom and a new diaper, a bottle, or a nap in mama or daddy's arms. That they were problems Brooke could fix. Brooke could control.
"I'll talk to her when she gets home." Brooke assured Haley, "Or tomorrow, since it's already late. Just make sure she's here before midnight."
"No worries. I already let her know that after this game is up, Nate was giving her a ride back."
"Thanks Hales." Brooke said, sounding exhausted to the school teacher, "For being there. For everything."
"Anytime B. Davis. I love you and I love your kids. Whenever you need a break, bring them on over. I love all of your babies, and I want to help you. I know it's been a busy couple of weeks."
"I love you Haley." Brooke told her with much sincerity.
"I love you too Brooke. This whole house loves you."
… …. …
Sam came home at around 11:00 and was half expecting for her mother and father to be sitting on the couch ready to question her, or something along those lines. But the teenager was met with an empty living room.
Yet Again. Sam thought.
Her baby brother and sister's toys were scattered on the floor and a blanket was left on the couch. Sam closed the door gently, figuring that either Riley, Carter, or both were asleep. She picked up the pharmacy bag that Brooke had left on the couch, as well as the empty bottles that were on the center table. The girl washed the bottles and left the bag on the kitchen table. She then started picking up the toys on the floor and placing them in the toy box closest to the couch. That way her parents could wake up to a clean living room. She turned to head up the stairs but jumped when she saw her mother standing near the stairs watching her.
"Oh shit." Sam said through a heavy breath, putting a hand to her heart. "You scared me."
Brooke crossed her arms across her chest and leaned on the stair banister, "Thank you for cleaning up. I was just about to do that."
Sam gave her mother a short smile, "Um, yeah. No problem."
There had to be more than that. Sam knew it.
"Where were you today?" Brooke questioned, trying not to sound accusatory.
Sam looked down at her shoes. There was a new scuff on them that was particularly more interesting than her mother, "I was at Aunt Haley's."
Brooke waited for Sam to look back up at her. But it seemed like that wasn't happening any time soon.
"I'm, um, back before curfew. Like I said."
Damn. Why did Sam all of a sudden feel contrite? She did not want to feel that! She wanted to fell mad. She was so ready to start a revolution just a few hours ago. I mean she broke her mirror for God's sake! Oh, crap. She really hoped her mother hadn't seen that. But now, the girl didn't want to yell or scream. She just wanted to get her mother to stop staring her down and also, maybe a hug.
"Samantha?" Brooke's voice wasn't harsh, but it was stern, and there was a hint of exhaustion to it. Guilt. Sam felt guilty again, for making her mother worry.
Make their life as easy as possible. Came the mantra told to her so many times before. She had successfully failed at that today.
Sam squirmed at the thought and her throat choked up.
Shit. Don't start crying.
Brooke looked at her daughter curiously, "Sweetheart?"
"I want to go to bed. I'm tired." Sam managed to get out. She wanted a hug, but at the same time she wanted to be mad, even if she didn't exactly feel that way.
Brooke shook her head, "Baby, why didn't you tell me you were at your Aunt Haley's house?"
Her daughter only gave her a shrug, and Brooke resisted from letting her frustration get the best of her. "Samantha, I was worried about you all day!" Okay, so some of it came out.
And just like that all of Sam's repressed feelings were hit sorely by her mother's comment. There was the anger she wanted to feel!
The girl's head shot up, "Are you serious? NOW you're worried about me?!" She snapped at her mother.
Brooke had not expected that turn of events, "Sam, of course I was worried about you!" She argued, "You are my daughter. I want to know where you are at all times. I asked you to do just that, to call me, and you didn't. Aunt Haley had to tell me you were at her house."
Sam clenched her fists together. Her mother didn't understand why she was angry. Of course, the rational thing to do was to tell her how she was feeling. To let her know that she had grown upset when her parents weren't at home, at a time when she really wanted to talk. But, Sam was far too emotional to think rationally.
"I'm going upstairs." She gunned it to the stairs, but Brooke caught her arm, spinning the girl back to face her, "Samantha, do not walk away from me." She warned in a hiss as she narrowed her eyes, "Do you not realize that what you did was wrong? You cannot and do not order yourself around. You have parents."
Sam pulled away from her mom, "Good to know." She said through clenched teeth.
"What is wrong with you?" Brooke practically pleaded.
"Nothing! I'm fine!"
Brooke's voice softened as she stared at her livid daughter, "Haley told me about Ashley, Samantha."
"Great, well now you know." The girl still sassed.
"You are not going upstairs." Brooke told her, still not letting her go, "There's obviously something bothering you, or else you wouldn't be acting so difficult."
Sam pushed her arm from her mother's, "Just leave me alone!" Sam yelled, her voice choking up.
"Samantha-"
Sam shook her head vehemently, "Just leave me alone mom! That way you won't have to deal with me being so difficult! You won't have to worry about me!"
"WHOAH." Came Luke's voice as he came into the room. He had just gotten home and heard Sam yelling as he opened the door.
Both Brooke and Sam looked to him, "What is going on?"
Brooke looked to Lucas and then at Sam. The girl just wiped at her tears harshly.
Lucas had been debriefed about everything after Haley called Brooke. He had received a call from his wife, and they both had a feeling that they'd need to talk to their daughter soon. He figured that this argument was related to it.
"Sam seems to think we don't worry about her. Which is not true Samantha. It is not a matter of dealing with you, like you said. We love you and want to make sure you're okay." Brooke said not losing eye contact with her daughter.
"You don't-" Sam shook her head with frustration and she wrapped her arms around herself, "NO! You don't get it!" She yelled, her voice thick with tears.
"Hey. Hey." Lucas stepped in and attempted to place a hand on Sam, but the girl stepped back.
"Help us understand then." He tried.
And like clockwork, two small cries came from upstairs. Sam shook her head sadly. It was her fault they woke up.
You shouldn't have yelled!
"The twins need you." Her voice resigned and her eyes watery once more. She ran up the stairs and slammed the door. Only making the cries of their youngest children grow louder.
Luke turned to her exhausted wife. Brooke looked at him and broke down in tears instantly. The stress and weight of the day hit her. The hospital visit. The worry for her teenager. The stress of work. Lucas gave her a fierce hug, "Hey baby." He urged.
"I need to go talk to her."
He put his hands on her shoulder, "No, no. She'll be just fine if we leave her with some space for some time. All you need to do is relax."
Her breath hitched, "Lucas I can't leave her-"
He was adamant, "Yes, you can. She's a big girl Brooke. We'll fix things, I promise. But she's too upset to see reason right now."
He saw that he was getting through to her, but the cries of their babies were getting louder, "Lay down on the couch babe. I'll calm the twins. You lay down, please. We'll talk after. I'll make you some tea, once I'm done, and we'll talk, or sleep, whatever you want, okay?"
Luke knew they needed to work things out with their daughter, but he also recognized the amount of emotions that were going through his wife. She needed a break, and that was his priority.
Sam also really didn't want anything to do with them at the moment.
Truly, Brooke didn't have any fight in her left. She simply, and gratefully accepted the chance to just lay down. "Carter probably needs more flu medicine. It's in the kitchen. And there's two bottles in there ready for them too." She said through her tears. Lucas agreed and went in search of the items first, but not before kissing the top of her forehead, "I love you." He told her.
Lucas went into the nursery and smiled at his two kids. He grabbed Carter first, "I'll get you baby girl. Let me just help your brother okay?" He cooed to the crying Riley.
Fifteen minutes later the father had two babies in his lap. Each of them nursing a bottle. "Hi my little kiddos." He whispered in the rocking chair, loving the quiet time between his twins, "I missed you two today."
They both stared up at him with wide green eyes. He rocked them until they finished their bottles, then burped them, and laid them down to sleep, clad in their red striped onesies. Both of them cute as a button.
He stared at his babies for a while, "Don't grow up." Lucas whispered as he thought of his teenager. He replayed what Sam said about them not worrying about her. He replayed the face of hurt that Sam dawned. She looked so defeated as she whispered that the twins needed them. He wondered how long their daughter felt like this. Lucas felt his eyes water and his cheeks grow wet. Why couldn't they just be able to fulfill her needs the way they could with their little kiddos?
"God, I don't want to do wrong by you two." He ran a finger on Riley's small cheek, "If mommy or me ever hurt you, I'm- I'm sorry little ones. We're trying. I promise you. We love you so much."
He checked the wall clock and realized he had been up there for a little more than an hour. He wiped his eyes, dimmed the lights and closed the door to the nursery.
The father looked at his daughter's closed door. He held a raised fist, poised to knock, but sighed then lowered his arm and decided to check on Brooke first.
He wasn't surprised to find his wife asleep. He smiled softly and picked her up bridal style in his arms. Luckily, Brooke had changed out of her work clothes already and was makeup free.
Brooke's eyes fluttered open as Lucas carried her up the stairs "I'm taking you to bed." He told her.
"Did you check on Sammy?" She asked as he laid her on the bed.
"I'm going to right now."
"She hates us." Her voice a mixture of tiredness and worry.
He kissed her lips, "No, no she doesn't. She's angry, but we always work through it."
Brooke's eyes opened some more and she rested her head on her hand. He frowned knowing that she was awake now.
He laid next to her and copied her position.
"We haven't been there for her lately, haven't we?"
Lucas sighed. It wasn't necessarily a lie. "No, I guess not."
"How do we fix it? I can see what work I can bring home so I can be here."
He stopped her, "Brooke, I, uhh, well, I already decided to take a step back from my head coaching position." He admitted. Brooke's eyes widened and she sat up some more,
"Lucas!" She scolded, "You love coaching. No, you can't."
"Brooke, wait." He put his hand up to stop her protest, "I'll still be auxiliary. I'll have to be at practices, but not necessarily the games, unless I want to be. I talked to Skills about it. He can be head coach. I'll still advise and everything, but right now, one of us needs to be here more often. I can afford to do that. The twins are spending more time with my mom and Peyton. Sam's feeling our stress, and acting out because of it. Let me do this Brooke."
Brooke stared into his eyes. "You love being head coach. Basketball is your passion."
"I love my kids more. My family is my greatest passion. And hey, I'll still be coaching, just in a less demanding capacity."
Brooke looked at the gray sheet that she was holding in her hand, "My heart was breaking listening to Sam yell all those things. And the worst part is, I was so wrapped up in everything I didn't realize this was happening. I thought she was doing okay. I thought she was. I knew we were spending less time with her, but she was taking it in stride." She rubbed her face in her hands, "We were so busy. Too busy to see it."
Luke put an arm around her and brought her in for a hug, "We'll find our stride. It's hard, I know. But this is why I decided to step down. I could see how hectic things were getting. That's why we're a team. You see things I don't see, and vice versa. And, hey, your fashion show will be over soon and you'll have more time, but while you're dealing with that I can be here for them."
Brooke finally nodded in agreement, "I love that child more than my own life. It kills me to think that she's been going through so much in school and here at home."
"So let's make it right." Lucas told her with one last kiss.
… … …
The parents both walked down to Sam's room after their talk and gently knocked. There was no answer so they slowly opened the door. The lights were left on, but Sam was asleep atop her covers, curled tightly into herself. Her thumb was lazily in her mouth and she was hugging her bear and blanket tightly. They weren't surprised that she had fallen asleep suckling her thumb, providing herself with comfort, but it didn't hurt any less knowing that she was going through her own emotional hell.
The parents didn't know that Sam had come to the conclusion that she needed to talk to them. To finally be honest with them, and have a civil non-screaming conversation. She, however, still had too much pride to deal with it that night, so she decided to toalk to them tomorrow.
There were tear stains on her cheeks and she was swimming in one of Lucas's Hanes tees, but her blue polka dotted undies still peeked through, "Oh peanut." Brooke whispered sitting down and moving some of Sam's hair out of her face. The 15 year old looking so young to her mother, "You're still my baby." She whispered to her, "You still matter. I still worry. I always will."
Sam had moved her broken mirror and glass shatters into her closet, but Lucas had seen it when he went to turn off the lights.
"She broke her mirror." He told Brooke coming back out from the walk in closet, "I don't know if it was an accident or if she was mad."
Brooke closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "We have a lot to talk about." She said sadly. Lucas agreed with a nod.
"She's cold. Help me tuck her in?"
Lucas picked Sam up gently as Brooke undid the sheets.
"Dad?" Sam grumbled, her thumb still in her mouth. She realized this and lowered it as she opened her eyes.
He kissed her forehead, "Shhh. Go back to sleep."
It had felt like such a long time since one of her parents held her like this. She hadn't needed it in a while. Or, at least, she acted like she hadn't. And God, her dad felt so nice. She was cold before, but her dad felt so warm. She snuggled her face into him. Sam knew she missed this, but she didn't realize how much until now. Lucas smiled at the movement. She reminded him of Riley and Carter so much right now because they did the same.
He was about to lay her down but she shook her head, "Champ I need to lay you down so you can sleep."
Brooke was sitting on the bed, watching the interaction.
And without a second thought, regardless of her frustration with her parents, she asked her father for what she had been craving, "Stay with me?"
His heart swelled, "Okay, I will baby."
With that reassurance Sam hugged Barry tighter. Lucas laid her down and then laid next to her. Sam immediately molded back into him, practically melting in his arms. It was then that both parents realized how much Sam was craving.
"Is mama mad at me?" Sam asked her father, her eyes still closed. She hadn't realized her mother was there.
"No." Brooke responded softly, "I'm worried about you. I always worry about you."
Sam opened her eyes and turned to her mother, still in her dad's arms, her lip quivered instantly, "Mommy-" Her eyes began to water, "I didn't mean to yell at you!"
"Shhh. Don't cry baby. We'll talk about it tomorrow." Brooke assured her. Her heart sagging at her daughter's pained look.
Sam couldn't help it. She was so sleepy, her day had been long, and last night restless because of her nightmares, but she also felt so safe right now, and vulnerable. She wanted to tell her parents everything. She was tired, sad, and sleepy all at once. "Stay too mama. Please?" Her tears made their way down, "I'm sorry. I really am."
"Oh honey. Don't cry." Brooke cooed at her, laying down with her husband and daughter. She wiped at Sam's tears as Lucas kissed the top of her head.
"I'm here. We're both here." Brooke said.
"I miss when it was just us sometimes." She finally admitted. She couldn't wait to tell them all of this until tomorrow. There was so much she had to say. "I was trying to not make you guys so stressed because you-you've been so busy! S-so I-I tried to stay out of-of your way! But I still want you to hold me, and sleep with me after a nightmare." Sam hiccuped through her words, "An-and I, I wanna sit on your lap sometimes, and I wanna just wa-watch netflix together daddy! An-and mama, go into your office and read and cuddle with you on your couch. I just miss that. I'm so-sorry. I really am!"
Lucas sat Sam up and Brooke lifted the front of the shirt Sam was wearing up to her face. There were no tissues near them, "Oh peanut." Brooke's own voice thick with tears, "We're still here for you."
"But the twins need you!" Sam cried and sniveled.
Lucas rubbed his hand up and down Sam's arm, "And so do you, and that's okay. It's okay to miss how it used to be. Sometimes I miss it too, and so does mom."
Brooke nodded, "Peanut, it's normal to feel that way. You don't have to apologize."
The fact that Sam had been hiding nightmares from them hurt the parents. Well, everything she had said hurt. But now was not the time to dwell on it. Sam was working herself up and it was far too late.
They wanted her to calm down so she could sleep. And Brooke and Lucas would gladly coddle her until she got to that place. They could talk about it all in the morning.
Brooke cleaned Sam's tears and runny nose, "Peanut, we're going to talk about all of this tomorrow, okay? We'll drop the twins off in the morning with Nana and it'll just be us. We haven't done that in a while, right?"
Sam's bright blue eyes flicked up at her mother and she shook her head sadly, "No, we haven't."
All Brooke and Lucas saw was their overtired teenager. Lucas dropped another kiss to her head.
"Okay, then." Brooke said with finality, "Then that's what we'll do. But right now, you're sleepy and it's bedtime." She bopped Sam's nose with her finger, "We love you so much."
"As high as the sky and as deep as the sea." Lucas emphasized.
The mother finished cleaning up her daughter's face. She smiled sadly at Sam, "No more tears baby, please."
Sam sniveled and nodded, as she wiped at her eyes with a closed fist, doing her best to calm down.
"Come on. Lay down champ." Lucas guided her, "We'll help you relax."
Yes, Sam had been very rude a few hours before, and there was alot of feelings that were yet to be discussed. But they all needed this. Just to be near one another.
Brooke handed the girl her bear. Sam finally settled with her head resting on Brooke's chest. Her cries had turned into hitched breaths and hiccups. "Shhh. Shhh." Her mother whispered, "Deep breaths sweetheart."
"I-I do love Riley and Carter-" Sam attempted to explain.
Brooke moved her hand down and patted Sam's bottom rhythmically, "We know kiddo. Just relax. Close your eyes. You don't have to explain yourself." The mother assured her. Sam could hear the sincerity in her mother's words, and so Sam let Brooke's loving pats to her bottom, and Lucas's humming lull her back to a calm and relaxed state. Much like it would've lulled one of the twins. She eventually popped her thumb back into her mouth.
Sam knew they were babying her, and she was reacting quite childishly herself. But she didn't care. It was nighttime and she was in the confines of her bedroom. Like any other teenager, she would be mortified if anyone found out, even her friends, even Jack and Tamara, the extent to which she allowed and asked for her parent's affection. But, nobody else had to know that at 15 this is what still made her feel better. Honestly, she was sure that even at 18 this would make her feel better. It always would. And sure her and her parents had a lot to talk out. She wasn't a fool, and understood that despite them loving her up now, tomorrow would come and they'd have a long discussion that most likely included stern words. But, right now, they were here. They were present when she needed them, and it was that thought that made a small smile curl onto her lips before she fell to sleep.
I hope you liked it! Please review :D We're going to move into toddlerhood in the next chapter, so the twins will have amore central role!