This chapter is heavily Brooke and Sam centric.
"Coach Scott, your phone is ringing!" One of Lucas's basketball players called him from the bench. Summer had just begun and the boys were already conditioning.
Lucas, who was talking to another player on the court jogged over and took the proffered phone, "Thanks Steve."
Sam's smiling face was on his screen. Lucas managed to grab the call on the last ring.
"Hi, peanut. What's up?" He asked his eldest.
"Hi dad. I'm gonna miss dinner tonight because T, Jack, and I are going to Clydesville. Is that cool?" Sam was back from UNC for the summer, and both parents had been over the moon about the prospect of having their child home for 3 months.
"Okay, have you told your mom?"
He heard Sam scoff dramatically, and he rolled his eyes at her reaction.
The father rubbed his forehead, "Sam-"
"Daadddd." She whined.
"Samantha." He said more sternly.
"Can't you tell her for me?" She pouted, wishing he could see the pout because it had more power that way.
"Honey, it's been a week."
Sam bit her lip. She knew it had been a week. But her mom really hurt her, and they were both mad at each other, and her dad forcing them to talk was not going to work. She had spent that week doing a delicate dance of avoiding her mother at all costs, and when forced to, only answered her mother's questions in as clipped a manner as possible.
"I know." Sam kicked at a rock that was near her foot, "I know it's been a week."
"Just text her." Lucas told her with enough finality in his voice to let Sam know that he wanted her to do it without anymore whining.
"Yeah, okay." She relented.
… … ….
"Samantha, Brazil …it's, it's so far." Brooke looked at her daughter in shock. The fashion designer's thoughts immediately went to all the worst scenarios that could happen to her baby in a far away country.
Sam had just told them that she wanted to take a two week summer study trip to the south American country. It was organized by her college and they'd be focused on the economic development within the favelas of Rio. The summer had just started so the girl had one week left before enrolling ended and three weeks before the group left.
Her dad had enthusiastically said, 'Sam that's great,' but her mom's response was definitely not that.
In Sam's mind she had expected her dad to be more recalcitrant, but it was very clear to Sam that her mom was already making up her mind and her answer was not going to be yes.
"It's not that far though!" Sam argued, "Right dad? And it'll only be for two weeks, not like a whole semester."
Lucas turned to Brooke, trying to appease her, "Well-"
"Lucas!" Brooke scoffed in indignation.
"What?" Lucas raised his hands in surrender, "Brooke, come on, this is an opportunity of a lifetime. It'll be a great experience for peanut."
Brooke could kill Lucas right then. They were supposed to be a team, damnit! And Lucas knew he was going to pay for him siding with Sam without consulting together first, but the look of excitement on Sam's face was too much for him to bear. And he had faith in Sam's ability to thrive.
"Samantha, you know Dr. Lopez said-"
"I don't care what she said mom!" Sam was getting frustrated. "I had one little flashback and you freak out. I don't need more 'time for adjustment.' Or whatever!" She air quoted her therapist's words. "I'll be just fine."
"Sam, do not push me on this. Your father and I need to talk it over."
Sam groaned and slammed her hand onto the table in frustration. This was not going in her favor at all, "Talk what over?!" She yelled.
"Samantha." Lucas warned.
"No dad!" Sam yelled back looking from her dad then to Brooke, "Mom doesn't wanna talk anything over. She just wants to convince you to say no too!"
"Lower your voice!" Brooke yelled back. She felt anger creeping up inside of her. She was trying to stay level headed, but Sam's attitude wasn't making it easy. That, plus the stress of a long day at work.
"Hey, hey." Lucas placed his larger hand over Sam's, "Your mom's right. As exciting as I think it is, we do have to think about it."
Sam felt the involuntary sting of tears hit her eyes.
'God don't cry now.' She thought, hating that when she was angry she cried.
"No, there's nothing to think about. You still think I'm some stupid kid."
"You were never stupid Samantha." Brooke bit her words, "We want what's best for you, and I don't think you leaving to Brazil in three weeks is going to help with the anxiety that you've been feeling after what happened."
Sam wanted to pull her hair out, "Oh my God! Don't you think that maybe giving me a chance to fucking breathe would help my anxiety?! It was one dumb flashback because of a dumb guy that tried to grab me at a party. I'm OVER it."
That's when Brooke lost it.
"It was not a dumb flashback Samantha!" She slammed her own hand on the table, startling both Sam and Lucas, "You had a flashback that had us pick you up in the middle of the night! We drove three hours to get you! Then you refused to sleep alone for the rest of the weekend! Do you think that's a dumb, little flashback?"
"Brooke." Lucas grabbed her hand. He didn't want her to take it too far.
"Stop it!" Sam shook her head, as her tears started to drip from her eyelashes, "It's over!"
But Brooke needed her daughter to stop ignoring the severity of it, "You wouldn't leave Barry and your blanket that whole weekend…You- you wet the bed Sam. You were terrified!" Brooke's voice cracked, "Do you think that's normal, Sammy?"
Sam stood up angry that her mom had to bring that up. "Stop it! STOP!"
"It's the truth Sam!" Her mother yelled back.
"Brooke, stop!" Lucas spoke forcefully, "THAT'S ENOUGH. BOTH OF YOU."
Sam was livid. She was angry that her mom actually went there. It felt like her mom had violated her trust. They never brought up when Sam had accidents. They happened and they moved on. They didn't treat her clinginess, her more childish moments as things that were bad. But at that moment it felt like her mom was judging her, like her trauma was an inconvenience. Just like her past foster parents had done.
Sam wiped angrily at her eyes, "Just forget it!" She tore the flier up, "Just fucking forget it!" She looked at her mom with fury in her deep blues. But Brooke wasn't showing any sign of remorse either.
"You're supposed to be different from them!" She yelled, her voice cracking at the end before she quickly left the kitchen.
Lucas waited to hear Sam's door slam before she turned to Brooke incredulously, "What is wrong with you?" He got up himself, needing a moment to breathe, "Why would you bring those things up Brooke? You know they're a sore spot for her!"
"I was trying to get her to see that it's not something to take lightly, Lucas." Brooke hissed.
"Well, congratulations. Our daughter officially feels like those things that she can't prevent are a burden on us."
Lucas pushed the chair in and began to walk out.
"Where are you going?" Brooke asked his disappearing form, "To pick up the twins from my moms."
Brooke sat alone in the kitchen. Shit. She'd gone too far. She didn't know why she freaked as hard as she did. Well, she did know why. The thought of her daughter so far, and the fear of her being alone with her recent setback. It just scared the mother so much.
Eventually Lucas and Brooke talked it out, and they were okay again, but things were not so smooth with Sam. And Brooke didn't expect it to be. She had really hit Sam where it hurt.
"Peanut?" Brooke knocked on her daughter's door after the twins had gone to bed. She could hear her daughter's music subtly playing in the background, so she knew the girl was in there.
She knocked again.
No answer.
Brooke took a deep breath and steeled herself. "Sam, can I come in?" She asked, the door now slightly ajar.
"It's your house." She heard Sam mutter.
'Just stay calm.' Brooke reminded herself.
"Sam, I just wanted to talk to you about everything that was said."
Sam turned from where she was sitting at her desk and shrugged, "I bought the ticket."
And that definitely threw Brooke for a loop.
"You what?"
"The money I had saved up. I bought the ticket."
Brooke's arms immediately crossed against her body, "You wasted your savings on a trip?" Her eyebrow raised dangerously. Usually, the look would make Sam shudder, but the girl was emboldened enough to oversee her mother's look.
"No." Sam bit, "It's not a waste. I'm gonna go, have fun, and learn a lot. With or without your approval. It's not your money, so you can't tell me what to do with it. And I'm 18 so there's that too."
Oh my God, did Brooke want to stand her daughter up and swat that haughty attitude right out of her. But she didn't.
"You didn't even bother to talk-"
"I'm not gonna talk to you about it when you already made up your mind." Sam cut her off, "I don't need you to make this decision for me. Just let me breathe. I'm not 14 and scared anymore."
The mother could only stare at her daughter in disbelief.
"You should be happy about that anyways." Sam muttered in reference to her not being 14, not being as clingy, as annoying.
Brooke felt her throat close up with emotion. Brooke Davis was a woman who loved control, and at that moment she felt like she had none. The woman gave her still fuming daughter a curt nod,
"Do you want space?" Brooke finally asked her.
"Yes. Plenty of it." Sam seethed, not caring the weight that her words carried.
"Then I'll give it to you." Brooke answered rather flatly, although her heart broke at her daughter's words, but she refused to show it. With that the mother turned and left her daughter's room.
It wasn't until Brooke closed the door that the teenager felt a tug at her heart. She suddenly wanted her mom to come back into her room.
'She'll come check on me before she goes to sleep.' Sam thought.
But Sam stayed up until two in the morning, waiting, but her mother never came back in.
Her dad certainly did, and he laid in on her some about what happened, but at the end of it he kissed her and said she was loved and called her champ.
But, still, her mom never came back in.
"You want space?"
"Yes. Plenty of it."
Sam's mind kept that exchange on replay.
The 18 year old went to sleep with tear stained cheeks that night.
Her mama never came back in.
… … …
"So, what, you gonna text your mom?" Tamara asked as all three of them walked into Clydesville. Jack had his arm around Sam and Tamara was right on the other side of Sam.
"I just did. She just said okay."
"So who's gonna end the standoff?" Tamara pressed.
Sam chuckled, "It's not a standoff. I asked for space she's giving it to me."
Jack and Tamara gave each other a look. One that Sam caught quickly.
"What?" She stopped walking as they both shook their head and mumbled out a 'nothing.'
"No, come on guys. What?"
"I just think your mom is, you know, she's just worried, and now it turned into this huge thing." Jack grabbed Sam's hand, to keep her walking, "You're leaving in two weeks to Brazil. Are you really gonna go across the world angry at your mom?"
"She's angry with me!" Sam sputtered.
Tamara rolled her eyes, "No dude. You're both angry with each other. She's giving you 'space' or whatever you asked for, and probably waiting for you to come to her, and you're waiting for her to come to you. Y'all just need to talk."
"Whatever, can we just forget this?"
Jack sighed and kissed the top of Sam's head, "Come on, let's walk faster. It's fucking hot out here."
… … …
Sam got home around 8 pm. The house sounded rambunctious as ever when she closed the door. The twins were for sure being wrangled into a bath. Well, Carter was, Riley was probably already in the bath herself. The teen decided to avoid the craziness altogether and go downstairs to play her piano.
She screamed an "I'm home" up the stairs in order to prevent her parents from thinking she was out too late and went into the kitchen for water.
She came in right as her mom closed the fridge door. Sam was going to turn around and avoid Brooke yet again, but the woman saw her.
"Did you eat?" Her mother asked.
Sam nodded, "I'm just gonna get water."
"I got it." Brooke told her, opening the fridge back up to grab a bottled water. She extended her hand with the bottle towards Sam.
"Thanks." The teenager mumbled, taking the water before leaving the kitchen.
Brooke watched her go with sadness etched on her face.
Nine days. It had been nine days since their fight. Nine days without a hug, kiss, or smile directed Brooke's way. Nine days since she felt the skinny, little arms of her eldest wrapped around her.
But it was so hard, because she was hurt too. Sam hadn't screamed very nice things her way either. Hearing your daughter tell you that you don't let her breathe, that she wants space from you. From your arms, and your embrace. From your gentle voice at night. That hurt.
Yet, somehow Brooke felt that she deserved it, especially after throwing her daughter's childish tendencies in her face the way she did.
It hurt to know that her daughter would spend all her savings just to spite her and prove that she can make decisions all her own. And it worried the mother to the ends of the Earth that her daughter was leaving soon with such high levels of anxiety. Lopez had provided medication for Sam, but it just didn't feel right to Brooke. Her daughter needed to stay close.
'I'm not 14 and scared anymore!' Sam's angry voice was etched in her mind.
Right. She's not that same girl Brooke. She can do this. The mother reminded herself.
Lucas had tried to calm her down too. Telling her that Sam would need to learn the repercussions of her actions. At best, nothing would happen when Sam was in Brazil and she would truly have an amazing experience. And at worst, she'd suffer through a flashback or anxiety, and would realize that her mother's worry was well founded.
"We'll fly out there if we need to." He half joked, though he wouldn't put it past Brooke in mother bear mode.
… …. ….
So come on let it go
Just let it be
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me
Everything's that's broke
Leave it to the breeze
Why don't you be you
And I'll be me
Sam's hands pounded on the keys as she sang. The sound of the piano, eventually overtaking the sound of her voice. She stopped suddenly and took a deep breath. That's when she realized her heart beating hard and fast.
Her anxiety. The fight with her mom had worsened it, though she'd kept that to herself. The medication was helping a lot. But she had these moments where the world seemed like it was caving in. When the room she was in got smaller and smaller.
The girl felt her hands beginning to tremble. She took three deep breaths, just like Lopez had taught her to do and closed her eyes,
"You're home. You're home. You're home." She kept repeating to herself.
She moved from the piano and willed her feet that felt like sludge to move towards the couch. She curled into a little ball and started to sing through her tears the chorus of the song that her mom and dad used to sing to her at night sometimes.
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Brooke was reading to the twins when Lucas came in to kiss them all goodnight. Riley and Carter were on either side of their mother, looking attentively at the images in the book.
"Daddy can you read the second bedtime story?" Riley asked from where she was safely bundled up on one side of Brooke.
"I'm gonna go see your sister, then I'll come right back to read with mommy, okay?" He told her. Riley nodded happily, "Okay!"
Lucas looked to Brooke, who he could tell wanted to say something, but was hesitant too, "C-can you give her a kiss for me? I'll say goodnight later."
The man smiled, "I kiss her for you every night babe. Tonight's no different."
It was true. Brooke would ask him every night, and every night he did. Brooke would then pop her head into the girl's room right before she went to sleep only to say "Goodnight Sam."
And a grumbled out 'night' would come in reply.
The father had heard her daughter playing downstairs about half an hour ago so figured that she'd still be there.
"Sammy?" He walked down, but it was quiet.
He saw that his daughter was curled up, her eyes tear stained, her forehead damp from sweat. Her hands were clutched in hard fists near her chest.
Her anxiety.
Carefully, the father walked around the couch and bent down, unclenching her daughter's fists. He rubbed her back until Sam slowly woke up to the soothing feeling.
"D-dad?" Her voice thick with sleep.
"You ended up asleep down here, champ. Let's go upstairs?"
She sat up confused. "I-I was playing and then, and then the world. It felt, I felt-" She shook her head, "I was…it was shrinking. Everything felt like it was too small and I wasn't and I wasn't gonna fit inside and I was alone and-"
"Shhhh, baby. Shh. It's okay. It happens with stress. But you're okay, hmm?" He smoothed her hair with his hand, "I'm right here with you." He kissed her forehead, "You're safe."
Sam nodded still slightly disoriented, but understood that she'd just had a small anxiety attack.
"Want me to sing to you?" Sometimes his singing calmed her down. He moved to sit next to her, then pulled her into his chest.
Sam welcomed her father's warmth and rubbed her cheek into the fabric of his shirt, "Daddy." She whimpered, feeling that her father never judged her.
"Okay." He rubbed her back, "I'm gonna sing to you, and you just listen." He started softly, it was the same song she had sung to herself. When he felt her shoulders finally relax he stopped and only held her.
My strong girl." He whispered.
"I'm okay now, I think." Her voice was muffled by her dad's shirt.
"You're good to come up with me?" He asked gently.
The girl nodded out a yes. "Then let's go upstairs then."
They walked up together with his arm around her shoulder as she leaned on his strong frame.
"I'm gonna shower. I feel sweaty and gross." Sam murmured, once they reached the top of the stairs.
He nodded and gave her one last hug, and a kiss, "That one's from mom."
Sam frowned and bit her lip, "Thanks...and, if I need you, do I-"
"You call me and I'll be right there." He assured her. She kissed his cheek, "Thank you."
The man watched her go with a bit of sadness, wishing he could will away her daughter's past so she didn't have to suffer as much as she did now.
He stepped into his and Brooke's room some time later, and Brooke stopped fluffing her pillow when Lucas told her about how he found Sam.
"Did you tell her she was safe?"
"Yes. I assured her she was okay."
Brooke still looked unsure, "And she actually seemed okay?"
"Yes. I went upstairs with her and she went to shower."
"Well, what else did she say? What was she doing before she felt that way?"
A hundred questions buzzed through Brooke.
"Babe." Lucas walked over and started to massage Brooke's tense shoulders, "Why don't you ask her?"
"She won't want to talk to me." Brooke murmured ,slightly embarrassed.
Lucas stopped and turned her around gently so they were facing each other, "Communication goes both ways babe. Are you sure Sam's the only one that doesn't want to talk?"
He kissed her lips gently, "She leaves in two weeks." He added before going into the bathroom to shower as well.
Lucas's words were the ones that propelled her back to her daughter's room. She held her hand at the door for a second before knocking lightly.
No 'hold on' or 'gimme a sec' came so she opened the door.
"Hey Sammy." Her voice was more concerned than it had been the past nine days, and Sam noted it.
Sam was resting on her bed frame with her knees up, her latest book resting on her knees.
The girl realized that her mom was in her room because she wanted to check on her after her anxiety attack, but she couldn't help but think of her mom's words from nine days ago,
"You had a flashback that had us pick you up in the middle of the night! We drove three hours to get you! …You were terrified! Do you think that's normal Sammy?!"
Her face hardened. Brooke didn't think she was mature enough to do anything. She was too needy.
"You don't need to check on me. I can handle it alone." Sam didn't even look up. Her eyes stayed hyper focused on the words in her book, but the tears that formed in her eyes were blurring them.
Brooke closed her eyes for a second and took a breath.
"Goodnight Sammy…I love you."
She didn't bother to wait for her daughter's response before she closed the door. She wouldn't fight Sam on this.
Sam looked at the closed door, in frustration she thrust Barry at it hard enough for it to thud against the wood. She threw her book as well. The noise was louder. It satisfied the girl's frustration. Sam felt a cry catch her throat. God, she hated all of this.
She hadn't realized that her mom was right outside her room, listening to each object that hit the door.
They couldn't leave things like this. Brooke knew it. She needed to sit her daughter down, because it was getting out of hand.
… … …
The next day was a Monday and Lucas was at home with the twins, Brooke was at work, and Sam went to spend time with Liz and Manny.
Brooke was the first one out the door. She had kissed her twins goodbye prior to leaving. They were still soundly asleep, cuddled up to one another. A sight the mother hoped to see for years to come.
She went back into Sam's room that morning as well. Sam looked absolutely peaceful as Brooke stared. She was snuggled into her heavy blanket because the A/C was always a little bit too cold for the tiny thing she was. Her bear was comfortably under her chin. Brooke knew that the teddy was being held tight against her chest, as it always did. A teardrop snapped her out of the trance of watching her eldest sleep.
"Have a good day princess." She whispered before leaving for work.
When Sam had come back from spending the day with friends it was already 6pm. She heard her mom and dad in the kitchen, probably cooking together. Her brother and sister weren't in the living room, so she was sure they were upstairs making some form of mess somewhere.
"Champ, is that you?"
"Yeah!" Sam yelled back to her dad, "I already ate, so I'll probably just be downstairs!"
Lucas looked to Brooke and shook his head.
"She's avoiding me. I'm telling you."
Brooke told Lucas as they cut up vegetables together. She shook her head trying to control her growing chagrin.
Sam bounded up the stairs ready to put on a pair of her sweats and a comfy t shirt. She thought about video calling Jack to see if he was up for coming over for a Netflix session. They had both shown interest in watching Stranger Things, and what better time to watch it then on a breezy summer evening?
But when she opened the door to her room Sam stopped dead in her tracks. Her brother was holding her bear, but half of its stuffing was out and it was coming out from the gaping hole where Barry's right leg was once.
Sam felt her mouth go completely dry as shock crossed her body.
Carter had his play doctor stethoscope on and he lifted the bear up, "I'm operating on Barry Sam, look! Riley's the nurse! She's getting water from the kitchen."
The carefree gaze Carter had given her really took her over the edge.
It was all a matter of seconds really.
Sam felt her body tremble in anger as she rushed over to her brother.
"Get out Carter." She gritted her teeth, trying to stay calm.
Carter eyes her sister carefully, confused as to why she looked mad, "But I'm fixing him!"
Sam tried to take it but Carter snatched Barry. More stuffing fell out.
"You're ripping him!" Her voice caught. She pulled the bear so hard that Carter fell back at the force and hit his head against her bed post. Not hard enough to leave a bruise, but hard enough for it to really hurt.
The little boy immediately started crying.
"Get out Carter!" She was yelling now, not bothering to see if he was okay, instead she picked the crying boy up from his arm and lead him out, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"
The little boy ran straight down the stairs screaming for her mommy immediately.
Sam slammed the door shut and felt her heart break as her weapon of the night lay broken on her floor. She quickly picked up the stuffing and the now very limp bear, hugging it to her chest and placing it on her desk.
"No. no. No!" She kept repeating to herself.
"MOMMY! MAMA!" Carter cried holding his head as he ran down the stairs, sure that he had the biggest booboo known to man.
Both Brooke and Lucas had walked from the kitchen into the living room when they heard Sam screaming and her door slam. Lucas had picked Riley up onto his hip in the process. Then, when Brooke saw Carter crying and holding his head she felt a surge of concern. She rushed towards him.
"Oh my God, Carter what happened?"
"Sam, mommy!" He cried sticking his hands out, wanting to be picked up, "Sam, she-she PUSHED me!" His tears kept falling and Brooke kneeled down and checked his head for bruises.
When she was sure that her baby was fine. She picked him up in her arms, "Mommy it hurts. I hit my head on her bed! It hurts!" The mother kissed the boy's head, "I know baby. It'll feel better soon."
"I'll get ice." Lucas said, "Come on Riley, help me get ice for your brother."
Brooke sat Carter down on the couch, "Why did she push you sweetie?" Although she could not imagine what the hell was a good enough cause for Sam, who was grown, 18 years old, to push a 5 year old.
Carter, though in pain, was smart enough to know that he also had some fault. He just shrugged and held onto his head.
When Lucas came in, Brooke immediately stood up, "I'm going to talk to her."
"Babe-"
"No." Brooke put her hand up, "Don't babe me Lucas. That's it." She seethed, "She can be rude to me all she wants, but her attitude stops with us. We're her parents. We can take it." She pointed to her two other children, "But the moment if affects Riley and Carter I'm not having it. I'm not going to ignore that."
The woman stalked up the stairs and tried to open the teenager's door but grew even angrier when she realized it was locked.
"Samantha, open this door!" The woman knocked harder than usual, "Open it Sam!"
Sam who was trying so hard to fix her bear, but was too worked up to be of any use to Barry, jumped at the unexpected sound.
She opened up the desk drawer and hid her broken bear. Her mom already thought she was childish, crying and being so upset about her teddy bear would only prove her right.
She wiped any stray tears and unlocked her door. Her mother didn't even give her a chance to think before her upper arm was firmly grasped and she was led to sit on her bed.
"Ow! What are you-" Sam shrieked.
"Quiet!" Brooke ordered her as she held her arm.
The girl tried to avoid her mother's eyes when she was brusquely sat down.
Brooke snapped her fingers twice, "You sit up and look at me. Right now Samantha."
Sam looked up and into her mother's piercing green eyes.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Brooke was furious. Like super furious. Like, if Sam didn't play her cards right she was going to find herself rubbing a very sore bottom soon.
"I don't know what the hell you were thinking." Brooke started standing angrily in front of her daughter, "He is 5 years old! You do not push your brother or sister. You do not hurt them under any circumstance! They are little kids Samantha, and you are not! Do you hear me, right now? You're 18 and he's only 5."
She bent down and pointed her finger right at Sam, "Let that be the last time I ever hear about you hurting Carter or Riley."
Sam didn't try and intervene.
"I'm so beyond frustrated with you." Brooke looked at her mute daughter and shook her head, "Are you going to say anything?!"
"You're not even gonna ask me what happened?" Sam dared to respond with.
Brooke's eyes narrowed, "I know you pushed him, but you need to tell me the rest."
"I didn't push him!" She argued, "He fell when I pulled something out of his hands. But whatever, right? I'm the older sister, I should've been more careful. Got it. Crystal Clear." The girl stood up and tried to move away but her mom grabbed her arm again, "And where do you think you're going?"
"I'm sure you want me to apologize, right?" Sam sassed, "That's what I'm gonna go do."
"Sit back down, and tell me what happened." Brooke pointed to the bed.
"it doesn't matter. What I did made him get hurt. That's all you care about right? The fucked up child hurt the well adjusted one."
"For God's sakes Samantha-"
"You just said never to hurt them under any circumstance, so what does it matter what happened?!"
"Then tell me what happened!" Brooke practically begged, "I came in blaming you, I get it. Just tell me."
But Sam only fought hard against her mother's grip.
"Goddmanit, Samantha!" Brooke yelled, now at her breaking point, "Could you just sit down and talk to me?! This whole week you've made talking to you unbearably difficult, and I'm asking you to be civil for one measly conversation!"
Sam clenched her fists and pulled hard enough for her mom to let go. "So this whole week has been my fault?"
"I'm not saying that." Brooke took a step towards Sam, but the girl took a step back. Sam felt like breaking everything in her room. She wanted to scream and yell.
"You know what, mom? I'm sorry alright. Is that what you wanna hear?"
The mother saw a rage and sorrow in her daughter's eyes. A mixture she hadn't seen before. It took her back.
"I'm sorry I've made your life so fucking unbearable okay?" Her lips began to quiver, and the room was getting blurred by her tears, "I'm sorry I have flashbacks that ruin your nights because I end up in your bed! I'm sorry I developed anxiety! I'm sorry I made you come get me in the middle of the night, and I'm sorry I wet your bed, okay? I'm sorry!"
Brooke knew that this was it. Her daughter was releasing what she'd kept under lock and key that week.
"Sweetheart."
"No!" Sam shook her head, "You said I wasn't normal! You-you said it. I-I inconvenienced you, right? Like, I'm 18 and should just get over it, right? Well, I wish I could, okay? I wish I could, but I can't mom! I fucking, I can't! I'm not normal. I'm not normal! But-but you, you're not supposed to tell me that. You're not supposed to say things like that. That's-that's them. The other ones. Not you too mom!"
"Oh, Sam." Brooke felt her daughter's sorrow in her words, and they pierced her.
"And then you come up here, angry and mad, and like you wanna kill me because I pushed Carter. And I didn't even push him. But I'm just the unstable one!"
Brooke finally got a hold of her daughter's arms and shook her lightly, but her voice was deadly "Samantha Davis Scott, you listen to me, and you listen to me damn well. You are not unstable. You are not going to apologize to me anymore. Stop that, right now because I don't want to hear it."
The mother ignored the tears and the runny nose that her daughter donned for the moment,
"Samantha, I was so worried about you leaving to Brazil that I was desperate for you to see the gravity of your situation, that's the reason I said the things I did. I wanted you to realize that it wasn't something to take lightly. I should not have asked you if you thought it was normal. It was asinine. And I've been regretting it every day since."
"You're just saying that now because you feel bad."
"Stop it." Brooke demanded with a firm swat to her backside that made the 18 year old gasp in surprise, "Deep down, you know that's not true. You know how much I love you. Because I do Sam. God, I love you so much kid."
Sam said nothing. She refused to look back up.
Brooke wiped her daughter's runny nose with her cardigan, and Sam finally let her mother show her that small comfort. She looked up as her mother was doing so, and her mother graced her with a small smile.
When Brooke finished cleaning her child's runny nose, she started to cry right then at the thought of what she was going to say next.
"I'm not like them Samantha." Silent tears fell from her eyelashes, "I'll never be your past foster parents. I'm so incredibly sorry peanut. I'm sorry if I made you feel that I was like them. Or that I thought of you the way they did."
Brooke leant in and kissed her daughter's forehead, "I won't ever judge you" Her voice came out a rough whisper.
Sam bit her lip. The fury in her eyes had died down, "You won't ever think I'm too much of a child?"
Sam had asked her this question in a million and one different variations. And the girl already knew the answer. But it was her form of being validated and reassured.
"No, my beautiful, strong girl. No."
That's what did it. The teenager decided to tell her mom about Barry.
"M-mama…mama Carter, he-he broke Barry!" She felt her chin quiver and her eyes break like dams.
"W-what?"
"He's all messed up!"
Brooke's eyes grew when she comprehended what Sam was telling her.
Carter and Riley had been operating on one of their own teddy bears. It looked like they moved onto Sam's not realizing the importance, and the amount of love Sam had for the bear.
The girl opened her drawer and pointed to it. Brooke walked over and saw the stuffing, the limp bear, and the part of the leg that was missing on the bear.
Suddenly her daughter's reaction made sense. It didn't excuse it, but it made sense.
"Oh peanut."
"He wouldn't let him go, so I pulled Barry hard and it made Carter fall."
The girl wiped at her eyes, "He's broken mama. Barry's broken!"
And, of course she didn't want to tell you before. She didn't want you to see her as some sort of childish burden. Brooke thought.
"I'm sorry baby girl." Brooke empathized deeply with her, "Sammy-I-I shouldn't have came in here the way I did. I'm sorry Carter did that to Barry."
Her mothers sincerity broke the girl. She cared. Her mother cared and wasn't judging her for it.
"A-and he didn't even think he was doing anything wrong!" Sam added, just unloading all her feelings of that moment between her and Carter. She didn't care that she was 18 and he was 5. At that moment when Carter was in her room, she felt like the boy had the upper hand as he held her companion of more than ten years in his arms, hurting him, ripping him.
"He didn't wanna let him go. B-Barry, mama! He's my bear!"
oh my God, her daughter was heart broken.
"Come here Sammy. Come here." Brooke led the crying girl to the bed and hugged her tight. "That must've been so hard for you." The mother spoke softly as she rubbed her daughter's back and rocked them, "I can fix Barry right up."
Sam looked up, "Y-you can?"
Brooke smiled, glad she could be of some use in easing her daughter's distress, "I make clothes for a living. I'll sew him up and make him feel and look just like you knew him."
She was going to get up to do just that, but Sam held onto her arm, "Not yet." Sam looked at her mother with still red eyes, wanting her to stay.
Brooke sat back down, understanding that Sam just needed some TLC. And to think she had come up there to lay in on the girl. Thank God they managed to break through each other's stubbornness.
"Okay, not yet." Brooke answered right back.
Brooke laid down, resting her back on Sam's bedframe. Sam held her mother's middle and inhaled Brooke's motherly scent. They stayed holding each other, making up for nine days of anger that had prevented it. They stayed holding each other because Sam was leaving to Brazil and it scared both of them.
"Princess," Brooke broke their quiet first, "You will never be a burden in my eyes." She lifted her daughter's chin up so their eyes could meet, "You will always be my pride and joy."
She then lifted her pinky and wagged it at Sam playfully, "Pinky promise."
It was the olive branch.
Sam stared at her mother's finger for a moment before lifting her own and locking it with her mother's.
"Pinky promise."
"Sam, I need to say one last thing."
The 18 year old looked at her mother quizzically.
"I'm sorry that I was so adamant about your trip to Brazil. I should've been more open. We could've avoided all of this. I'm not happy about you going so far away, but I went about the situation so horribly."
The tension of moments before. The anger and the heightened emotions had withered away. There was a need for resolution on both sides.
"I'm sorry I bought the ticket out of impulse." Sam replied, a blush rising to her cheeks, "I should've waited 'til you caved and that way I wouldn't be out all my savings."
The joke was perfect because Brooke brought her in and kissed the top of her head, "You little heathen."
Sam hid her face in her mother's blouse and felt heat rise to her cheeks as she thought about how dumb she must've sounded crying over her bear. But Brooke noted her reddening cheeks and bashful look, despite the fact that Sam was hiding her face.
"Don't do that." Brooke kissed her head, Sam still had that watermelon scented hair that reminded Brooke of a younger Sam, "No need to be embarrassed, love."
"It's just a dumb teddy bear. I freaked over a dumb teddy bear." She said, immediately feeling horrible for calling Barry dumb.
"No he's not. He protected you on a lot of scary nights, didn't he?"
Sam nodded and sniffled, curling herself into her mom, "And he kept you warm. He was your confidante and your comforter. Barry isn't a dumb bear. He helped you survive a lot."
Sam turned over into her mom wanting to feel the sensation of her mother cradling her. "Alright up we go." Brooke said soothingly, the way she would tell Riley or Carter when she'd pick them up after a nap. She pulled her daughter closer, and let Sam's hands clutch the front of her shirt.
"You didn't freak over a dumb teddy bear, little one. He means a lot to you, and the thought of him not being around scared you."
Her mom understood her so much. Her mama could put into words what she never could. Sam felt stupid for ever thinking her mom didn't understand her.
She brought her legs up and nuzzled her head into her mothers chest. Her mom was always warm and gentle at the exact right times.
"I love you so much." Brooke whispered to her eldest baby, "Mama's sorry for everything."
Brooke always had a sixth sense about when Sam needed that extra attention. Sometimes she knew it better than Sam did. Right now was one of those moments.
"I love you too mommy." Sam whispered right back, content to just fall asleep at 7 in the evening. Content to forego spending time with her boyfriend, something other 18 year olds wouldn't dream of doing. But Sam didn't care becuase her mama was coddling her and rocking her to sleep. She wouldn't have it any other way.
I really hoped you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think!