Kensi groaned, smacking at her phone in the futile belief that it would make the incessant beeping stop. Whatever part of her had thought it would be a good idea to get up at 5 to work out before work had long since passed.
She let herself lay in bed a few minutes, recalling the night before.
It turned out that Caleb had needed batteries for the TV remote and once that minor calamity was sorted out, Deeks asked, half teasing, if she wanted to watch an episode of Avengers Assemble with them. Kensi was tempted, but she wasn't sure she could handle sitting next to Deeks for an entire show, the memory of their almost kiss simmering between them.
"You know what, I would love to, but I really need to go. So many assessments to grade this time of year," she'd given as her excuse. "But you guys could come over for dinner next Tuesday," she added, making her way to the doorway as she collected her purse. "You know, as repayment for tonight."
"Uh, not to be rude, but you've mentioned multiple times that cooking isn't your favorite extracurricular," Deeks had reminded her. "Are you trying to poison me?"
"Haha. I'll be ordering Mexican." She'd jabbed a finger at his chest, making contact with the hard muscle beneath. "And please don't tell me you don't like Mexican, because I will never speak to you again."
Deeks had laughed outright at that. "Don't worry, I love tacos, burritos, and a good corona any time," he'd assured her. "Probably more than is healthy. In fact, I know a place along the beach that sells the best fish tacos."
"Well, then we'll have to go sometime. Make a day of it."
"I'd like that."
They'd chatted for a few more minutes before Kensi finally left.
Kensi rolled over in bed now and scrubbed her hands over her face. Somehow, they kept knocking down the barriers (admittedly very flimsy barriers) every time they saw each other. What made it worse was that she was less bothered by it every day.
Sighing, she finally pushed herself up and stalked to the bathroom before she gave up completely and just went for donuts instead.
The next few weeks were busy for both of them, each having several late meetings that prevented meeting up outside of Kensi's promised dinner on Tuesday. Thankfully, Deeks readily agreed eat out which saved her the trouble of cleaning her apartment to a guest-worthy state.
There were only about 6 weeks left to the school year, which meant everyone was scrambling to get final field trips, presentations, and the oh-so dreaded testing and assessment completed in time.
Throughout it all, they kept up a steady conversation and she saw Deeks occasionally in the car line. But otherwise, they didn't seem much of each other.
One Wednesday, Kensi and Nell stayed late to power through their remaining reports and organize their rooms. By 8, Kensi had lost her steam and felt just a little defeated, surrounded by what seemed like the entire contents of her classroom closet.
Nell had finished her own work and moved on to showing Kensi pictures of the costume she was sewing for a convention in the summer.
"That's going to be gorgeous," Kensi complimented her, staring at the elaborate design in awe. "But don't you think it's going to get a little warm?"
"Eh, can't be as bad as the latex catsuit I wore two years ago." She waved off Kensi's concern. "Anyway, finishing this is my weekend plan. What about you, Kens? Any big plans?" She wiggled her eyes mischievously, and then as if Kensi didn't understand her meaning. "With the charming and unfairly attractive Mr. Deeks."
"No, no plans, we've both been pretty busy," Kensi said.
"Oh come on, Kens, you have to give me something," Nell moaned. "I'm dying here."
"You have a boyfriend you adore. You shouldn't need to live vicariously through me."
"Yeah, but he's at an IT seminar so I need something to distract me. And as we've already established, Marty Deeks is hot, smart, and charming and you are clearly crazy about him."
"I am not crazy about him and like I keep telling you—"
"You're just friends," Nell interrupted in a singsong voice, swaying her head back and forth. "Yeah, I know what you said. And you can deny it all you want but everyone who's seen you and the good lawyer around each other knows you have a thing."
"We do not have a thing," Kensi protested.
"Yes, you do. And you know it. Come on Kensi, why are you lying to me and yourself about this? You're usually not this hesitant."
"I'm just using a normal amount of caution." Nell gave her an unimpressed look.
"I've know you for 6 years and last time you showed an ounce of caution was when you decided that eating 4 day old sushi might be a bad idea," she said. "Why are you still hesitating when this is clearly something that you want?"
"I really do like him," Kensi admitted softly. "You know my track record with guys isn't exactly fantastic and Deeks is…you're right he's charming, and funny, and a really amazing guy. I don't want to destroy things by pushing too hard too fast."
Which was the exactly reason she'd been on maybe three dates the last year that didn't go beyond one date.
"We almost kissed a couple weeks ago." Kensi saw Nell's eyes widen and watched her visibly tamp down any reaction. Her forced neutral expression was pretty hilarious. "We got interrupted and at first I was disappointed, but then the more I thought about it, I was relieved."
"Ok, definitely confused now," Nell commented.
"Every time I think about taking the next step, I start imagining Deeks telling me that he's not ready or breaking up with me in a couple months when he finds out what I'm really like. I don't think I could handle it."
Nell squeezed her hand, eyes turning sympathetic.
"Oh Kens, that's the problem. You're not even at that stage and you're imagining the worst case scenario. Maybe you and Marty Deeks won't be star crossed lovers, but you'll never know if you don't give it a chance."
"Deeks doesn't seem to be in a hurry to move things forward either," Kensi reminded her.
"I'm not saying you need to jump him in the hallway," Nell drawled with a roll of her eyes.
"Nell!" Kensi gasped, as always, shocked when her seemingly demure friends said something outrageous. Nell just continued with a devious smile.
"But giving those muscles a feel after Caleb goes to sleep…"
"You are shameless," Kensi retorted. Like she hadn't daydreamed about the way he looked with his sleeves rolled up. The sound of Nell's phone ringing brought her back to the present and Nell jumped up with a little smile.
"Ooh, that's Eric. He said he'd call when the seminar was over for today," she said, gesturing to Kensi as she made a beeline for the door. "I need to go home so I can flirt with my boyfriend in peace, but when I see you tomorrow, I expect an update on the Deeks situation."
Shaking her head, Kensi rubbed her hands over her eyes. Nell made it sound so easy. She spent the rest of the evening shoving everything back into her closet and debating Nell's advice.