Meet Minister Bagnold
Daria is the creation of Glenn Eichler and is the property of MTV Viacom. Harry Potter is the creation of JK Rowling and is the property of JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, and Wizarding World. I own neither, and neither expect nor deserve financial compensation for this story. I am writing for my own amusement and for ego gratification.
What if Minerva McGonagall had been able to persuade Professor McGonagall to place baby Harry Potter with different blood relatives instead of with Petunia Dursley and her husband: the Morgendorffers from MTV's Daria?
Harry Potter Morgendorffer*Harry Potter Morgendorffer*Harry Potter Morgendorffer
Back out on the street, Helen and HJ chose to spend their time on Diagon Alley admiring the buildings and people-watching. Helen thought that the architecture looked very old-fashioned and probably wouldn't last a week even in history-conscious Britain if they were placed outside this wizarding enclave. She passed a store selling magical pets, another one that sold owls, an apothecary, and Madam Malkin's. Helen had seen wizarding robes. She thought they were quaint but impractical, particularly in places like Texas where it was hot for so much for the year. Still, she had half a day to go shopping, and she decided she'd be wise to check her wallet. Helen stepped into a shop, one that sold cauldrons, and opened her handbag. She counted the wizarding coins, tried to make a ballpark guess of how much money she and HJ would be spending here and perhaps elsewhere in Britain, and frowned. She needed more cash. The local merchants didn't take VISA or Mastercard, and they didn't take American Express, either.
To Gringott's then. She walked up the steps with HJ following behind, greeting the goblin doorman by saying "May your days and gold be plentiful," and entered. A long line of goblin clerks were hard at work: writing in legers, examining precious stones, stacking gold coins, and calculating on abacuses. She wondered just what she was doing there when a goblin walked up to her and said "Madam Morgendorffer!"
"Sir," Helen said politely. It was an older goblin, and if the goblins didn't use No-Maj human terms like vice presidents or Comptroller, Helen was pretty sure that this goblin was near the top of Gringotts' hierarchy.
"Your appointment isn't until this evening," said the Goblin.
"I know, Sir," said Helen. "I need more cash and since most of the shops don't take pounds sterling or MACUSA wampum, I thought I'd better come in here and change some money."
She frowned. "Also, is either Mr. Bloodworth or Mr. Speedicutt here? Something happened last night that I'll need to report to Personnel." The Goblins balked at using the term human relations; they thought that it was anthropocentric. Helen thought they were right.
"Come with me then," said the older Goblin. He led them out of the lobby and over to a conference room. He stopped before the door.
"I'd prefer that the boy doesn't accompany us," said the Goblin.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm not about to let him out of my sight just now," said Helen.
"Very well," said the Goblin. The three of them went inside the conference room. The Goblin waved his hand and the door closed.
"Describe the incident, please," said the Goblin.
Last night I went to a French country restaurant down the street," said Helen. "HJ and I ended up having dinner with an Arcturus Black, whom I believe is one of the more important wizards here in Britain as well as a major Gringotts client."
"I made a prophecy at dinner."
"Did you discuss bank business or bank policy with Lord Black?" asked the Goblin.
"Nothing beyond vague generalities, Sir," said Helen. "I told him that I was a lawyer working for Gringotts Southwest, hinted that I was not a magical person, and told him that I believed that the prophecy I gave at dinner could be construed to be confidential according to the terms of my contract with Gringotts Southwest, and that I wasn't going to spread around the contents."
"Are you a witch, Madam?" asked the Goblin.
"Not according to the tests I took with the MACUSA," said Helen. "They consider me to be what they call a "wild squib." My family doesn't do magic, at least they didn't until Lily Evans Potter came along. I can ask Personnel at Gringotts Southwest to forward my records or send you copies myself."
"Are you planning to leave our subsidiary to take magical training, Madam?" asked the Goblin.
"Not if I can help it," said Helen. "I like my job, but if I left Gringotts', I'd want to become a full-up trial lawyer."
"Trial lawyer?" asked the Goblin.
"Trial lawyers do the same sort of legal functions in US courts as barristers do in the British Muggle court system," Helen replied.
"I see," said the Goblin. He paused in thought. Helen didn't read Goblin faces very well, but she didn't think he was ready to fire her.
"What was the prophecy's content?" he asked.
"Stuff to do with the Black family," said HJ, who'd had enough good sense to keep quiet until now. "I don't have enough clues to even guess."
"Mom told me to keep my mouth shut," he added.
"Sensible (garble)," said the Goblin. Harry knew that word. It was Goblin for a human woman.
"Thank you for bringing this to our attention," said the Goblin.
"That wasn't the main reason I brought you here, though," he said. "I'd like you to meet someone." The Goblin rose from his chair, gave a flick of his hand, the conference room door opened.
They walked down the hall, entered a larger room where an important-looking witch was apparently winding up some sort of conference with Goblins. Helen scanned the Goblins' faces for anyone she knew. Aside from a couple of Goblins she'd met at her own conference, she didn't recognize anybody.
The Goblin had walked over to the important-looking witch. Helen could see that the woman was not only well-dressed, but she had a look of authority, and she also had an entourage of harried-looking aides.
"Minister Bagnold," said the Goblin. "I'd like to introduce you to Helen Morgendorffer. And her great-great-grand-nephew."
"How do you do, Ma'am," said Helen. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
The older woman looked at Helen and HJ with some, but not a lot of interest.
Carpe diem. Helen had an idea. It was probably a bad one. She lifted off HJ's baseball cap.
Minister Bagnold's eyes widened.
"You're Harry Potter," she said.
"Yes, Ma'am," said Harry.
"And you're," said Minister Bagnold.
"Lily Evans Potter's great-aunt," said Helen. "We took him in after we learned about him. He's been with us for about eight years now."
"Thank you for taking him in," said Minister Bagnold, "the wizarding world owes him, and you, a great debt. If there is any favor I can do you, I would be happy to oblige."
Helen smiled. Blood in the water, thought HJ.
"As a matter of fact, Minister, there is," said Helen. "As Harry's legal guardian under American law, I feel responsible for managing his financial affairs. I consider Harry to be a son, and I want to make sure that he's not only able to afford the best schooling while he's living under my roof, but that he'll be well-set financially when he's set up on his own. I've been trying to get control of Harry's estate for over half a decade now, and I've been having trouble over here."
"Who is his magical guardian?" asked Minister Bagnold.
"Albus Dumbledore," Helen replied. "I believe that Albus Dumbledore is a great man, a great wizard, and a great hero in his own right, but he's also a very busy man. I've checked his current resume and I see that Professor Dumbledore is holding down what look like five full-time jobs. I fear that the great man is pre-occupied and can't give my great-great-grand-nephew's estate the time and attention that it needs. I think I can do a better job, and I'd appreciate a little help in persuading the great man to let this go."
Minister Bagnold's eyebrows rose. She didn't know about this matter; she hadn't heard a peep from Dumbledore. Still, if Madam Morgendorffer was a blood relative, she'd look into this.
"And what is your position at Gringotts, Madam Morgendorffer?" said Minister Bagnold.
"I'm a lawyer for Gringotts Southwest, one of Gringotts' American subsidiaries," said Helen. "I handle corporate law and assist with estate planning. I've been with them for over seven years."
"I see," said Minister Bagnold.
She turned her head to the Goblin. "Mister Great-claws, is she who and what she says she is?"
"She is indeed," the Goblin replied.
"I see," said the Minister. "Well, Madam, I will be happy to do my small part to assuage an old man's vanity. Priscilla, take note."
"Yes, ma'am," said a harried-looking younger witch to Minister Bagnold's side. Helen thought the witch was in her early twenties.
"A pleasure to meet you, Madam Morgendorffer," said Minister Bagnold. "And a pleasure to meet you, Harry. I look forward to seeing great things from you when you get to Hogwarts."
HJ blushed. "Thank you, Ma'am," he said.
The minister's eyebrows rose. "A southern accent?" said Minister Bagnold.
"Well, Ma'am, we don't live here," said Helen.
The Minister chuckled. "Good point."