Harry Potter Morgendorffer: Daria's Testing

DISCLAIMER Daria is the creation of Glen Eichler and is the property of MTV Viacom. Harry Potter and its characters are the creations of JK Rowling and are the property of JK Rowling, Universal, and Wizarding World. I own neither franchise. Nor do I expect or deserve financial compensation for this work of fiction. I am writing for my own pleasure and ego gratification.

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Harry Potter Morgendorffer*Harry Potter Morgendorffer*Harry Potter Morgendorffer

"Mom," said Daria.

"What is it, Sweetie?" said Helen.

"We need to talk," said Daria. "There's something I have to tell you. I think I might be a witch."

"Why do you say that, Sweetie?" said Helen, becoming alert. Magic, even the talk of magic, always caught her attention. True, her daughter occasionally tried to play mind games, but Helen could tell when she was bluffing and when she was serious. Daria sounded serious.

"I was playing with some magical toys over at Karen's house today and I made them work."

"Hmmm," said Helen.

"This isn't supposed to happen," said Daria, her voice rising. "I'm not supposed to be a witch and they shouldn't work just because wave my hand over them or it I think about it."

"Sweetie, calm down," said Helen. Speak for yourself, Helen, she said to herself. My G*d, my daughter's a witch. "Let's not jump to conclusions. We don't know for sure. We'll talk to Mrs. Kettler and then see about getting you tested. You might be a witch, but maybe you aren't."

Helen dialed Mrs. Kettler's number. Mrs. Kettler, unlike many wizards and witches, had a telephone answering service. Helen called her service and asked for either a special appointment or have HJ's regular appointment moved up.

Mrs. Kettler called back and told Helen that she'd see HJ and Daria at a new time.

-(((O-O)))—

A few days later…

Mrs. Kettler rang the doorbell a couple of minutes early. The family easily recognized her; she was a fair skinned woman with graying brown hair, somewhat heavy-set, her figure was on the wrong side of Zaftig. She'd been watching Harry for nearly nine years now, almost since Minerva McGonagall and her friend brought the very young wizard to Austin.

Helen invited her in and asked her to have a seat. Mrs. Kettler then set to the business of interviewing HJ. HJ had had no releases of accidental magic and no problem keeping any accidental magic under wraps. He had had a successful Little League season, but was not looking forward to leave that all behind when he went off to school.

"So no problems, HJ?" she said.

"Nope," said HJ. He'd not used magic on Jake and Helen or on his cousins and he did what he could to keep the magic under wraps.

"So, Helen," said Mrs. Kettler. "Why did you ask for a scheduling change for this month? Is it just scheduling conflicts or did something unusual come up?"

She watched as Helen Morgendorffer took a deep breath and girded herself to say something she thought was important. "The reason I asked for an appointment change is because of my daughter Daria," she said.

Mrs. Kettler pursed her lips for a moment and waited for what Helen was going to say next. Despite the fact that she usually dealt with HJ and the older Morgendorffers, she was acquainted with the Morgendorffers' two natural daughters. The older one, Daria, struck her as being a sane and emotionally well-adjusted young girl. I wish all of them would be that way, she thought wryly, even though if they were, I'd be out of a job.

"So what seems to be the problem, Daria?" said Mrs. Kettler. "Are you having any difficulties with Harry's or other children's magic?"

"That's not a problem," said Daria. "My problem is that I'm having trouble dealing with my own magic."

"Beg your pardon?" said Mrs. Kettler. "Your own magic?"

"I think I might be a witch," said Daria. "My friend Karen and I were playing with some magical toys to see how they worked and all three toys worked when I played with them. Karen didn't touch them. I'd have blown it off as being something like static electricity if it only happened once, but it happened three times. I don't think it was coincidence."

"Daria and I think she ought to be tested," said Helen.

"I admit this looks like I'm trying to play for attention," said Daria, "but I'm not. I didn't think I had magic and I thought I was OK with it, and was making plans for living a No-Maj life."

"You don't want to be a witch?" Mrs. Kettler said, a touch of incredulity in her voice.

"Not really," said Daria. "I mean I like some of the cool things trained wizards and witches can do, but I don't think I needed magic to do the stuff I want to do."

"Daria, you know that if you do have magic, it isn't something you can ignore or wish away," said Mrs. Kettler.

"I know," said Daria. "I'm not saying that. I've read some of the material you sent HJ and I don't want to cope with Obscurials or let loose accidental magic on people I care about. If I've got magic, I'll deal. If I don't have magic, I'll be fine. But if I do have magic I'd better find out."

The little girl's reaction startled her for a moment. It was surprisingly calm and sane, lacking the panic that many No-Maj parents and children displayed when they discovered that magic was real or the crushing disappointment and histrionics that magical parents and siblings could display when they learned that a child was a Squib.

"So what do you want to do about it?" Mrs. Kettler said indulgently, earning a glare from the older Morgendorffer daughter.

"Get tested," said Daria, "find out if I'm a witch, a Squib, or a flat-out Mundie."

I rather doubt you're a Mundie, thought Mrs. Kettler. I strongly suspect that you're a Wild Squib just like your mother. She knew that Helen Morgendorffer and her father Allen Barksdale had had magical ancestors, but that was some generations ago. Helen Morgendorffer was a wild Squib and her sister Rita was a flat-out Mundie. Moreover, the girl's father Jacob Morgendorffer was also a Mundie from a Mundie family background, which didn't improve little Daria's chances for working magic.

They all probably ought to get this out of the way, and as soon as possible. I probably ought to refer the girl to a competent healer, she thought. MACUSA's social services were far better than those of the Mundie federal government but even some healers could make mistakes.

She thought the girl's notion could be unacknowledged jealousy of her cousin expressing itself by her claiming to have magic, but on the other hand, the girl could well be correct. "All right, then. I can refer you to a specialist and we can have you tested. We can make an appointment. Would that be agreeable Daria, Mrs. Morgendorffer?"

"Yes it would," said Helen. "Would it be someone local or would Daria and I have to floo somewhere in the back of beyond?"

"Local," said Mrs. Kettler. "Irwin Hillier is a reputable healer specializing in this field. He lives in San Antonio and has an office in Alamo Heights. I can get you his card and you can set up an appointment. Would that be agreeable?"

"It would," said Helen. "Daria?"

"Yeah," said Daria.

"All right then," said Mrs. Kettler.

This looks easy, she thought, too easy. That worried her.

-(((O-O)))—

Helen had a talk with Jake that evening.

"Jakey, we have to talk about Daria," she said.

"What about Daria?" said Jake. "I know she's a good kid, but is the school counselor upset again because she doesn't play well with others?"

"Is the school counselor upset again because she doesn't play well with others? That's bureaucratic BS. Daria's a good kid."

"No, Jake," said Helen. "Daria came to me the other day and told me that she's concerned that she might be magical like HJ."

"Oh my God," said Jake. "Our daughter is a_"

"Jake, take some deep breaths and calm down," said Helen. "Our daughter said that she's concerned. She doesn't know for sure, she thinks she might be, and she wants to settle the question one way or another.

"But how, why?" said Jake. "Did she get it from HJ?"

"No," Helen said. "That's not how it happens. We've had this conversation before. Magic may be passed down through family lines and sometimes it just pops up unexpectedly. That's how Lily got it."

"Was it that Snape guy that Dumbledore sent by last summer? I bet he caused it!" said Jake. "Euuuwww!" he shivered.

"No, Jake, it wasn't Professor Snape," said Helen. "Daria thinks she might have known even before then."

"But what will she do?" said Jake. "She's just a kid!"

"If she's got magic, she'll survive it," said Helen. "We can send her to school where she can learn to cope with it. We've produced a daughter with a good head on her shoulders and I suspect her odds for surviving adolescence are better than those of some of the normie kids who live around here. I mean just think of those Cooter boys and their skateboards! Most of the witches and wizards we've already talked to have not only survived childhood, but some of them have lived into their hundreds."

"But the dangers!" said Jake.

"Even our part of the real world isn't that safe," said Helen. "Drugs, car crashes, guns, kids doing stupid things. I do worry about Daria and Quinn, but Daria's careful, unlike HJ. I don't see her looking for dragons or trying to catch hoopsnakes."

Jake began to calm down. "But Helen, she's our daughter," he said in a pleading voice.

"I know, Jakey, I know," said Helen. "She's our daughter. I was hoping as much as you were that she'd be able to have a normal life. But that might not be in the cards."

"But this worrying isn't going to do us any good. We don't know yet," said Helen. "That's why I want to go to a specialist with her and have them run some tests."

"Maybe she is a witch, and maybe she isn't."

"And if she is?" said Jake.

"We'll worry about it then and then start planning for it," Helen replied.

-(((O-O)))-

Helen and Daria made the drive from Ruskin to San Antonio a week or so later. The traffic from Ruskin to I-35 wasn't that bad, nor was I-35; since Ruskin was south and not north of Austin. The traffic around San Antonio began to intensify just north of Selma. Helen took US 281 south of Interstate 410 and soon was in Alamo Heights. Dr. Hillier's office was near the edge of the neighborhood.

The street had been residential once upon a time, but over the decades many of the old 1920's bungalows had begun to turn into professionals' offices. Healer Hillier's office was one such: the house was a 1920's bungalow set on a corner but well back from the street. Helen carefully parked her car behind the wooden fence that blocked easy viewing of license plates from the street.

Helen and Daria entered the house through the front door. The house's former parlor was now the waiting area and what might have been the old dining room had been converted to office space and the receptionist's work station. Helen quickly realized that Healer Hillier's examination rooms were in the back. The waiting room was crowded with other f worried parents and their children. It shared the sam atmosphere as No Maj doctor's offices and clinic: an underlying current of fear and worry. The clientele was different: a couple of the patients' parents were clearly magicals; others looked to be squibs or Mundies.

The receptionist presented them with paperwork: the usual name, address, telephone number. Helen noted that there wasn't a place for e-mail yet. There were blanks for the names of the patients' physicians and boxes to fill if the patient was a magical or a squib. There was also a space especially for squibs: name of closest known magical relative. Daria handed the forms to Daria and told her to fill out as much of the form as she could.

Daria started filling out what paperwork she could.

"Do I put HJ's name here?" asked Daria.

"No, Sweetie," said Helen, "you put down Cousin Lily's name."

Helen watched as Daria wrote Lily Evans Potter in the appropriate space.

And Katie bar the door, thought Helen. Listing Lily Potter's name was sure to attract attention.

Helen proof-read the forms, filled in the questions for which Daria had no answers, then handed them back to the receptionist. "Thank you, said the receptionist. "Please make yourselves comfortable."

"What do we do now?" said Daria.

"Take a seat and wait until they call us," said Helen.

Daria frowned and sat down. If she'd had her druthers, she really didn't want to be here. "It's going to be all right," Helen said reassuringly. "Just relax and it'll soon be over."

Just then, the young girl with one of the magical parents started making a scene. "Mom, can't we just go home?" she said "I don't want to be here!"

"I'm sorry, Darlie, but we need to consult with Healer Hillier," said the mother.

"But I don't WANT to be a Squib!" shouted Darlie.

"We don't know that," said Darlie's mother. "You may have magic, it might be tucked away somewhere and maybe Healer Hillier will find a way to bring it out."

"Or maybe he can't or won't and I'll be a Squib!" said Darlie. She said it like it was the most horrible thing that could happen to her.

I'll trade you, thought Daria, despite the fact that she knew such a swap was impossible.

"We don't know that," said Darlie's mother. "But things are as they are and I'll love you anyway."

"Can't you do anything?" said Darlie.

"I'm sorry, dear, it's out of my hands," her mother replied.

Helen had been listening despite her attempts to distract herself with a pamphlet written for No-Maj parents with magical children. She sighed. It's out of my hands, she thought. She put her arm around her daughter.

The door to the examination rooms opened a little while later, and one of Healer Hillier's aides stepped out.

"Miss Morgendorffer, Mrs. Morgendorffer?" she said.

Well, here goes, thought Helen and Daria.

They entered the office. Healer Hillier's examination room was much larger than the small, relatively cramped examination rooms Helen had seen at clinics and doctors' offices. Helen looked around at the arcane objects neatly stored on some shelves as well as at the large flat crystal sitting on a square cart next to an examination couch. Helen thought it looked like a mash-up between a Mundie doctor's examination room and a palm-reader's parlor.

Healer Hillier introduced himself and asked Helen and Daria to take a seat. They sat and waited while he read through their forms.

"Was Lily Evans Potter really your cousin?" asked Healer Hillier.

"Yes," said Daria.

"Her cousin, my grand-niece," said Helen. "My father had a fling with her maternal grandmother back in 1939. I didn't think it was likely until I took a goblin blood test."

"It sounds barely possible," said Healer Hillier.

"It was," said Helen. "My father was a young diplomat working for the US government in Britain, and Lily Evans' grandmother was working nearby. He was sent home before the Battle of Britain, and Lily's grandmother married somebody else."

"Oh," said Hillier.

"Do you have any magic yourself, Ma'am?" asked Hillier.

"I am what a lot of people call a wild Squib," said Helen.

"So you can't work magic yourself," said Healer Hillier.

"At least I don't think I can," said Helen, "although last year I made a couple of prophecies, which is not something most squibs are capable of doing."

"Can I ask what those prophecies are about?" asked Healer Hillier.

"I would say no," said Helen. "The individual in question is a major client of Gringott's, my employer, and I consider it privileged information."

"You may consider getting re-tested," said Hillier.

"I'm not really interested in tweaking my magical abilities," said Helen. "I'm doing well enough with the way things are right now. I'm more interested in helping my daughter find out whether she's a wild Squib like me or if she's an actual witch."

"All right," Dr. Hillier said placatingly. "Point made."

"Now Daria, why is it do you think you might be a witch?"

"Well, it started when I was looking at magical toys with my friend Karen a couple of weeks ago. I looked over three of them and they started working. I'd seen this happen before with a couple of my cousin HJ's toys, but I thought it was something like static electricity, some sort of left-over magical charge…"

"Was this the first time this happened?" asked Hillier.

"No," said Daria. "I have a magical cousin and it happened a few times with a couple of his toys."

"Did you tell your parents?" asked Hillier.

"No," replied Daria. "I thought it was a residual charge and I didn't think it was that big a big deal."

Hillier looked disapprovingly at Helen.

"Excuse me," said Helen, "I was not trying to suppress her magic. If she had any, I thought she'd tell me. I think she has."

"Well let's start the tests," said Hillier.

"Miss Morgendorffer, could I ask you to stand over there, please," he said, pointing at a clear space in the examination room. He then went to his shelves, picked up what looked like a wooden hoop carved with runes, pointed his wand at the center of it and muttered some sort of incantation that Helen didn't catch. He then walked around Daria, gently waving his hoop around the young girl at a decorous six inches from physical contact, then set it down.

"Hmm," he said, sounding interested. "Let's be sure. It's always best to have confirmation."

Helen could feel the magical forces Healer Hillier was using. A thought strayed into her mind: would that clot her great-niece Petunia married be able to sense it? She doubted it.

"Could you remain where you are, please?" Hillier said to Daria. Daria grudgingly complied.

He touched his wand to a crystal he had placed on his desk. The crystal lit up in a bright, deep, aquamarine, then projected a broad beam at Daria. Helen could see her daughter's physical form and also a bright form inside and around her glowing in the same color.

"Hmm," said Hillier. "Good, good." He sounded pleased.

"Alright, the final test," he said. He opened a drawer and handed Daria a wand.

"Is this a real wand?" asked Daria.

"It is," said Healer Hillier.

"I've handled a couple of them," said Daria. "Most of them don't like me."

Healer Hillier's eyebrows raised, but he said nothing.

"First, point that wand at that wall over there and give it a wave," he said. Unlike the other walls in the examination room, the wall was bare. Helen wondered if what looked like a sheet-rocked wall was backed by Kevlar or steel plating.

Daria waved the wand and a bolt shot out and hit the wall. Fortunately, it did not bounce off.

"Interesting," said Hillier. "You can put the wand down. Let's try something else." He picked up a wooden stool and set it next to the bare wall. He then picked up what looked like an ordinary volley-ball and set it on the stool. He then walked back to his desk, handed Daria another wand and said "Take this wand, wave it at the ball, and try to make it rise."

Helen caught Daria's dubious expression. Daria had made no secret of the fact that she hated both dodgeball and volleyball. "Whatever," she growled.

Daria took the wand, waved it at the volleyball, which rose and then exploded.

The noise caused reactions outside as well as inside the office. One of Healer Hillier's aides knocked on the door, then opened it. "Sir, is everything all right?"

"It's fine, don't worry," Hillier said reassuringly. "Just another Wilson biting the dust."

"Well, that was dramatic," said Hillier, trying to make light of what had just happened. "I read that in the old days, healers used to use stone balls for this sort of test. This is a bit noisier but cheaper."

"Well," he said. "I think that settles it."

"Mrs. Morgendorffer, your daughter's suspicion is correct," he said with a smile. "Congratulations, Madam Morgendorffer, Miss Morgendorffer. I'm happy to inform you that your daughter is a witch."

Daria scowled. "This is not what I had in mind for my life." she said.

-(((O-O)))—

Author's notes:

Hoopsnake: a mythical creature from American folklore, much like a viper but with a poisonous stinger on its tail and the added ability to roll like a hoop after its prey. Hoopsnakes strike me as the sort of magical creature that would adapt wonderfully to paved roadways.

Mundie: From the term Mundane, a term used by members of the Society for Creative Anachronism to describe ordinary folks, particularly those not in costumes at Renaissance Fairs and SCA events. In this AU, the term has been appropriated and modified by wizarding folk, gradually supplanting the term No-Maj.