"I'm sorry, what?" Shelby asked, certain she didn't hear Dr. Stratton correctly.
He repeated himself and Shelby felt as if she was going to be sick. In her mind, the only reason Dr. Othot would be coming back to see her child would be to operate on her sweet little baby again. Shelby asked him to explain it one more time because something wasn't adding up—she tried to pinch herself hoping this was a nightmare…it's not, this was really happening.
"I, I'm, uhh, this just doesn't make sense," Will uttered. He was with his wife on this, what the heck was going on.
Dr. Stratton knew Shelby was an incredibly smart woman and was having a hard time processing what he was saying, but he wasn't sure if Will even understood. Because he deals with parents all the time, he didn't mind repeating himself however, due to the fact he didn't actually have an answer for them, this was harder to explain.
"Once Dr. Othot arrives, I'm hoping to have some answers for you."
"I need to see my baby."
Paul nodded, allowing Shelby into Rachel's room. He would have let Will in as well, but the father was being summoned by his mother—the grandparents were with the girls and because Beth was now awake, the four of them along with Shawn and Meredith were having trouble keeping them settled due to Santana's way of processing things.
She was freaking out because even her parents couldn't see her sister, which meant something really bad was happening. The twins have always been able to sense one another, and she just knew her sister wasn't okay. Normally being with family would calm her down, however, not today. She didn't want anyone but her mom and sister, feeling the same way she did when Rachel was in surgery. Santana couldn't explain it, all she could do was react in a way that helped her ever racing mind filled with terrifying thoughts.
"LET ME GO UNCLE SHAWN!" Santana screamed, kicking her legs in hopes of losing the hold he had on her. When she felt like this, she needed to be free and that involved running like she did the day Rachel had her first seizure.
Will walked into the waiting room and heard his daughter before he saw her, eyes going wide because clearly, she wasn't okay. "What's going on, honey?" he asked gently in hopes of calming her down.
"MAKE HIM PUT ME DOWN, DAD!"
Will watched the grandparents shake their heads no and walked over to his brother-in-law and daughter. When Shawn let Santana go, she took off once again which was why the uncle didn't want to let her go in the first place. They all thought it would be best if she stayed inside the hospital because it was still very early in the morning, and they wanted to keep an eye on her knowing how upset she was.
"DADA!" Beth squealed, happy to see him. She didn't have a care in the world, just an innocent bliss that the adults wished they could have as well.
"No, no. You need to stay with us, Beth," Meredith said, running after the baby so Will could go after Santana.
Will found his daughter sitting under the same tree Thomas found her under the first time Rachel was in the hospital, once again crying. She could sense things weren't okay, but she couldn't talk to anyone about it besides her mom which made her feel super isolated.
"I need mama," Santana whispered when her dad wrapped an arm around her.
"She's with your sister, sweetie. I'm here though, dad's here. What's going on?" Will questioned, tipping his head so he could try and see into his daughters' eyes that she was hiding.
"I can't tell you."
"Why not, honey?"
"I just can't. I need mama."
Santana closed her eyes and rocked herself back and forth willing her mom to come. Thomas had followed them outside and heard Santana ask for Shelby, then made his way back inside to see if he could get his daughter.
Shelby was singing to Rachel while holding the tiny brunette's hand, the same way she did every night she stayed with her daughter in the hospital last September. She was beyond grateful for the fact Santana's tests came back clear because it was one less thing to worry about, and for the fact she wasn't the cause of Rachel's suffering—whatever this was, Shelby at least knew she hadn't passed it down. What worried her was the fact the two doctors weren't any closer to having an answer as to why her baby wasn't getting better.
Dr. Stratton came into Rachel's room and got the mother's attention, then asked Shelby to follow him, already feeling worried for the mother because she's dealing with and has dealt with so much. Shelby kissed Rachel and told her she'd be back soon then Paul led the mother to her father and Thomas explained what was going on with Santana. Dr. Stratton felt badly for the mother because she couldn't seem to catch a break with all the worrying she was forced to deal with, the woman could use a peaceful, stress free vacation.
Shelby went outside and sat on the grass next to Santana after she was told what was going on with her daughter, relieving her husband who was clearly getting nowhere. Once he was gone, Shelby asked, "What's going on, babe?"
"I know something's really wrong with her, mama. I need to see her."
Shelby knew the twins could sense things when the other wasn't around, something that rarely happened because they preferred to always be together. If she was being honest, she didn't know why Rachel's room was locked down, but she'd find a way to get her daughter in because Shelby knew the twins needed each other.
"Okay babe, let's go," Shelby said, helping her daughter up.
Dr. Stratton wanted to keep the Corcoran's out of Rachel's room because he didn't know what was going on with her and the family had already seen enough. Shelby had watched Rachel code multiple times, Santana and Will had seen Rachel seizing, and he was hoping to prevent scaring them even more. He caved when Shelby had him paged though because Santana's tears got to him more than he'd like to admit. There was just something about this family.
"Rachie…you need to come back. You can't stay with daddy," Santana said, holding her sisters' hand.
She just knew somehow her twin was considering staying and she couldn't let that happen. Shelby couldn't help but let her tears fall listening to her daughter speak—she didn't even try to explain how Santana knew; their twin bond was so powerful.
"Paul," Dr. Othot whispered, hoping to get his attention without alerting Shelby or Santana. He followed his colleague out of Rachel's room, and they had a conversation while Santana continued her conversation with her sister.
"I want to do another EEG to see if we can capture these spikes again."
"You're joking," Dr. Stratton said, feeling as if he channeled the feisty brunette in that moment.
"Of course I'm not joking, what the heck is wrong with you Paul?"
"I'm sorry. But did you really get on a plane just to do another EEG? I thought you were coming to help me get to the bottom of this, not run the same tests I have right here in her chart," Paul said, opening Rachel's chart.
"No. Well, yes. Yes and no. I wanted to evaluate her myself, and I'd like to see if these spikes happen again. Look at this," Dr. Othot said, pointing to the different spikes in her chart, they were all over the place which was beyond rare.
"What are you thinking?" Paul asked, hoping he would have an answer. He had already pulled six or seven books out to figure this out while waiting for Dr. Othot to arrive, not getting any closer to finding an answer for all the different symptoms Rachel was showing.
"I want to do another EEG first."
Dr. Stratton agreed and they went to inform Shelby so she could get Santana out of her sisters' room—he knew it wouldn't be an easy feat.
"Beth, are you hungry?"
"NO!" she squealed, trying to run out the door like she saw her sister do multiple times.
Oh, to be a baby and have all this energy at 6:30am, not to mention being perfectly content because you have no idea what's going on. Shawn was now the one chasing the baby who had been running around for about 45 minutes, maybe longer. Will knew he should step in, he was just feeling very overwhelmed. He and Shelby went to bed around 11:30pm and were up at 2:10am ish dealing with two screaming, upset daughters and one unconscious daughter.
"Come here princess," Will said, scooping the baby up before she could run by him again.
"NO!" she shrieked, not liking the fact she had been captured because she wanted to keep running around.
"Yes, Beth. It's time to get something in your belly. Look, grandma brought you breakfast," Will smiled, opening the tupperware of fruit his mother had handed him. Rose packed the fruit she had in the fridge for her granddaughters and a few pieces of banana bread she had made the day before, deciding to bring them so the girls could have some homemade options.
"No dada!" Beth said once again, but took the grape from her dad anyways and put it into her mouth with a smile. Will wanted to save the strawberries for Santana just in case she'd want them a bit later, making sure Beth ate the other fruit first.
Will was too exhausted to correct her, it didn't matter how much they worked with the baby, she hated saying any version of the word yes. She could say yeah, just chose not to. His wife said all babies go through a similar stage and told him to be grateful there weren't two of them this time.
Rose offered banana bread to everyone else seeing how happy it made the baby, they turned it down though because they were too anxious to eat. Not having answers was a very scary headspace to be in.
"It's fascinating. I've never seen this diagnosis in a child her age."
Dr. Stratton looked at his colleague like he had ten heads because there was nothing fascinating about the diagnosis at all. Before he could say anything, Dr. Othot continued. "Look, she's gone from ictal asystole to ictal bradycardia with panayiotopoulous and gastaut. I've never seen this, I've only read about it."
"I thought this only presented itself in babies."
"It's most common in babies and toddlers. I read a case recently from a doctor in Australia who had a patient present at 17, her symptoms were far less though."
"Prognosis?"
"She didn't make it. But on the bright side, 60 percent of children outgrow gastaut. I think—" Dr. Othot paused seeing another spike, then looked at Dr. Stratton and realized he didn't need to explain himself the way he did with other doctors because he was a neurologist as well.
"We need to wake her and run the test again," Dr. Stratton said, feeling better about things, slightly.
"Exactly. I'll push—"
"No!" Paul exclaimed. "She's a child, we need written consent."
Dr. Othot nodded. He primarily worked with adults, only consulting on cases with children when necessary or asked, which meant parental consent wasn't required.
"Please tell me I heard you incorrectly," Shelby said to the two doctors in front of her. They had brought the parents into a private room so they could have this conversation, finally giving them the answers all of them were looking for. "1 percent? No, no! I can't accept that," Shelby said with a dark humorous laugh, very much in denial.
"Yes, 1 percent of children present with Panayiotopoulos and gastaut which leads to benign occipital epilepsy. In Rachel's case, this also presents with severe cardiac complications," Dr. Othot said, keeping his professional demeanor.
"What does that even mean?" Will questioned, not understanding a lot of the words the doctor had mentioned.
"Is there a cure?" Shelby asked. She was more concerned with what was going to happen in her daughter's immediate future. She too wanted to know what everything meant, but first she needed to hear Rachel was going to make it.
"We're confident with the right medication regimen, she'll be just fine. These seizures are manageable, and her quality of life won't be affected that much. I've never seen a patient experience both Panayiotopoulos and gastaut, but I've already put a call in to a doctor in LA to get his thoughts—especially because of the cardiac symptoms. I think…"
"Wait a minute, you're getting another consult?" Shelby asked, cutting Dr. Othot off. "I thought you were the consult."
Dr. Stratton knew his colleague wasn't making the parents feel any better and wondered if this was how he made parents feel with his terrible bedside manner. He'd have to deal with that later because right now he needed to make Shelby and Will feel better. Paul tried to explain things in a different way, and because the parents respect and trust his judgement, he was at least able to make them feel calmer.
"Someone help me, please," Rachel cried. She didn't know why she was left all alone in the empty field. Watching life pass her by broke her—she knew she'd do anything to get back because her family needed her, especially her mom and sister.
Rachel had tried to bring them back into her dream, but it wasn't working…she couldn't even get her dad there anymore. It was no longer raining, the grass was still wet though and her clothes were still dripping. When she shivered for the third time, she felt someone wrap a blanket around her and when she looked up, she found her dad.
Juan couldn't explain what was going on the way he could before. He knew his daughter was weighing out staying or going back to fight but didn't understand why he couldn't help her the way he did when she was in surgery. This is not the way Juan had envisioned his future—being taken from his beautiful wife and sweet babies was the last thing he expected.
Then seeing them again because of such a severe trauma was heartbreaking, especially because it was continuing without an easy fix, or complicated brain surgery. His daughter was going to need to fight, and because of that, his wife and daughter would continue to suffer helping Rachel deal with her health. He wished he could take away all this pain without causing more by keeping Rachel here with him.
"Daddy! I, I don't, I need…I'm sorry," Rachel cried.
"I know, mija. You don't need to apologize to me, peanut. I'm the one who is sorry for not making it home to you."
"Can you come into our dreams like this if I go back?"
"You know the answer to that, nina."
"It's not fair."
"No it's not. I'm always with you though, mija. I promise." Juan put his hand over Rachel's heart and smiled at her, his heart breaking seeing her tears continue. He wished there was some way to give her extra strength that could heal her forever. "I need you to pay attention to the words I'm about to say, bueno?"
"Bueno," Rachel said with a sniffle.
"What does mommy do to help you calm down when you're upset?" Juan asked, hoping his daughter would understand what he was trying to do.
"Umm, asks me the color of her eyes and tells me to copy her breathing."
"Then what?"
"Mommy holds my hands?" Rachel questioned, although she didn't know why because that's exactly what her mom did.
Juan smiled at his daughter's uncertainty. "Like this?" he asked, holding her hands the same way his wife did.
"Mhm."
"What does she do with her fingers?"
"Oh! Mommy uses her thumbs to rub circles on the tops of my hands."
"Yes she does, mija. And when you're calm, she gives you three kisses right?" Juan asked, and Rachel nodded. "In the next coming weeks, mommy is going to do this a lot with you."
Juan waited until his daughter caught on and soothed her himself when she understood. It was September which meant in a few weeks, his wife and girls stress levels would skyrocket, something he knew would need to try and be prevented for Rachel's health. Juan did the same thing his wife did in hopes of leaving Rachel with this memory in the coming weeks.
"What color are my eyes, mija?"
"B-bro-wn," she stuttered through her tears.
"Good girl. Copy my breathing, nina. Copy daddy," he soothed, watching Rachel slowly begin to copy him as he took her hands. He rubbed circles on the tops of her hands as he continued to take deep breaths and wondered how his wife just knew one day this would always work—she truly was perfect.
Another portal suddenly appeared, and Juan heard Shelby singing while holding Rachel's hand and he knew his daughter's time was up. He had to go, but more importantly, she had to go. He knew she had her whole life to live, he just wished he could be there for it too.
"I love you, peanut…more than all the stars in the sky, besides one."
"I love you too, daddy."
After Juan disappeared once again, Rachel heard her mother's singing and couldn't help but cry at the song choice.
The feeling that I'm losing her forever, and without really entering her world. I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter, that funny little girl. Slipping through my fingers all the time, I try to capture every minute, the feeling in it. Slipping through my fingers all the time. Do I really see what's in her mind? Each time I think I'm close to knowing…
"I'm here mommy, I'm here! Help me get back to you!" Rachel screamed.
"I'm not hungry, stop forcing food down my throat!" Santana said, pushing her dads' hand away.
"Three more strawberries, sweetie. Please," Will nearly begged.
"They're gonna make me sick."
"No they won't," Will said, bringing the fruit closer to her once again. All she wanted was to be with Rachel, but they wouldn't let her and Santana didn't understand why.
After the doctors had woken Rachel up to run another set of tests, she unfortunately had a second seizure that caused a second cardiac event. Because of this, Shelby didn't want Santana in her sisters' room—she had seen enough. Will told his wife he'd stay out in the waiting room with Santana even though the rest of the family was there because the parents knew she'd be calmer with one of them.
"Me dada!" Beth squealed and signed more.
"Feed your other daughter," Santana told her father hoping he'd focus on Beth instead of herself.
"How about a smoothie, nieta," Carlos asked, and Santana shrugged.
He stood up and held out his hand for Santana to take and then they headed for the cafeteria. Carlos knew how much the twins loved the smoothies and understood the importance of getting her to eat something, at this point it didn't matter what. It was almost 2pm which meant they'd been at the hospital for almost 12 hours and Santana hadn't eaten anything.
Will was thankful for Carlos and handed the tupperware of fruit to his father who had Beth in his lap so the baby could eat it instead. Even at one, Beth was exactly like her sisters, she loved eating.
"Abuelo?"
"Si carino?"
"Por que no puedo ver a mi hermana?"
Carlos smiled at the fact Santana continued her thought in Spanish—it didn't matter the twins were now sixteen, he was still beyond impressed they were fluent and had been for years. He knew how proud his son would be because of the pride he felt, it was very special.
"I'm not sure, honey. Your mom is with her though, she's not alone."
"But I wanna be with her too."
"I know you do. Let's get some smoothies and then I'll see if I can sneak you in, bueno?"
"Bueno. Te amo, abuelo."
"Te amo, nieta."
"Is her heart is going to slow down or stop completely each time she has a seizure?" Shelby questioned, feeling like she was going to be sick and pass out at the same time. This could not be happening...