Chapter 1: Et toi, et moi
XXX
Hikigaya-kun is acting strange these days.
An errand thought crossed her mind, making her pause as she turned to the next page of her book.
Hikigaya Hachiman had always been a strange individual, no doubt about it. From the very moment he first stepped foot in the service club she thought she had his measure, yet some of his actions recently have been rather…
—contrary to expectations.
He arrives earlier to club, opens doors for her like it was the most natural thing in the world to do, and even helps her with the errands Hiratsuka-sensei forces on her. She had even caught him brewing tea one time!
Tea!
Not to say that it was necessarily a bad thing, as the sight of him brewing tea oddly made her want to take a picture.
Which,
She didn't,
Because that would be weird, and Yukinoshita Yukino was not a weird girl who finds men who knew how to brew tea charming…
Nope. Not at all.
Surreptitiously glancing towards him, she took note of his person.
Sitting at the end of the table as usual, he was reading his beloved light novel (trash) without a care in the world—unaware of the vexing conundrum he has been to her.
Even while indulging in what should be the pleasant act of reading. His face sported its usual grumpy expression that screamed to the world as if the very existence of other people fundamentally bothered him—which, to be fair, it probably did.
All in all,
She could say he looked like Hikigaya Hachiman all the same.
You'd think the whole culture festival fiasco didn't happen judging by how seemingly unaffected he is.
She half-expected him at one point to whine and moan about how stupid the student body's reaction was to the Sagami incident.
It wouldn't be too unwarranted either, as it wasn't the first time she heard that frivolous loudmouth from Hayama's clique mock him in the hallways.
Tch.
Yet oddly enough, he remained quiet on the following days. No mentions of the incident nor did he barely have any reaction when she and Yuigahama brought the topic up.
She was half convinced that he had somehow hit his head and forgotten everything but his faint recognition at Sagami's name dissuaded her on the notion.
—So much for telling him that she knew him now.
Somehow, something about the way in which she couldn't get a read on him—irritated her. Scratch that, his whole confusing existence irritated her…at least she could claim that aspect of him was consistent.
Truthfully, she couldn't discern any noticeable difference based on physical appearance alone. That area of expertise had always belonged to Nee-san's more so than hers.
Though maybe if she squinted hard enough, she could surmise that his eyes looked less of a dead fish's than usual…?
Normally a harrowing sight to the poor fellows unlucky enough be in his vicinity. These days though, a little bit of life can be found in those usually dreary features of his.
Which was nice, as they weren't as bad to look at now compared to before. One could even say he looks more cat-like in appearance recently…
?
—Preposterous, Hikigaya-kun is nothing like those majestic fluffy beings.
To think she would liken Hikigaya-kun to cats of all things—what had she been thinking? Could the Hikki-virus finally have grown powerful enough to cause hallucinations?
It was fortunate that Yuigahama had to retire early for the day or else she'd be in danger as well.
…Too busy being lost in her thoughts, did she fail to realize she was staring at Hikigaya-kun for a tad bit longer than she intended—as he caught her eye and did something she never thought possible.
He looked her in the eyes and gently smiled a little smile.
An unknown warmth came rushing to her cheeks, and she oddly felt compelled to follow in his example before deciding not to—lest it give him other ideas.
Pervert! Nincompoop! H-Hachiman!
She mustered the best glare she could throw at him.
"Hachiman is not an insult, y'know?" Oh and apparently he could read minds now.
"Ara-Ara, I wasn't aware that the Hikkiamoeba had evolved to Hikkiwizard-kun for you to start reading minds now." She snarked back, trying to recover. "Weren't you supposed to wait till you turn thirty?"
"I ain't no wizard woman." He rolled his eyes at her. "…Your thoughts were just plastered all over your cute face." He said, trying to get a rise out of her.
Hmph, as if she would be flustered over a mere compliment…
"I-Is that so?" She replied, before realizing her little blunder by stuttering slightly in her words. "…I have a hard time believing I'm that easy to read."
"That's true…" He acknowledged, laughing slightly, before continuing:
"—I think I just like paying attention to you instead." He said, looking a bit more than pleased with himself.
Feeling her cheeks start to betray her again, she chose to instead look down into her book…but not before forgetting to shoot him one last cold look.
After doing so, she heard a faint chuckle across the room—she decided it wasn't worth a response.
Therein lies her question, since when were they close enough for this kind of casual teasing to happen?
Because while she might've greatly appreciated his help during the festival committee and was considering a more amicable relationship.
—Suffice to say she was not expecting it to go in this direction.
Because through all these shared glances, their shrinking distance and the erratic beating of her heart?
She knows, deep in her heart of hearts, what they all signify. That all these tell-tale signs whisper sweetly to her a name befitting this new dynamic of theirs.
That, or she was seriously developing a heart problem,
—she couldn't decide which was worse.
So in the meantime whether this was good or bad remains to be seen.
But judging by the smiles that slips out of his face or her increasing frequency to laugh at his usually terrible jokes?
Well, she wouldn't say she was that adverse to the idea of exploring this.
XXX
Glancing at his club president who gave him one last glare before retreating back into her book, Hikigaya Hachiman let out an amused snort.
Is the great Yukinoshita feeling shy now?
—O kawaii koto. [1.]
As if sensing his thoughts, her right hand twitched—as if fighting the urge to strangle him.
…What are you an esper?
Can't say he blames her though—he has been pushing it a bit these days.
He probably should learn to take this a bit slower, but it's hard to resist falling back into…old habits.
Yukinoshita Yukino had always been slow to warm up to others. Always keeping people at arm's length, she rarely trusted anybody, if at all.
—He liked to think that at this point in time, Yuigahama and he belonged to that rare category.
Because for all his bravado, Hachiman was afraid of losing that trust. It would be kinda strange for her to see him suddenly act so…interested, after being used to his anti-youth shenanigans.
—Youth is a lie, it is nothing but evil.
Remembering his old essay now made him wince.
Because while there were some parts that he still kinda agreed with, thinking back on it, he was rather narrow-minded in his approach.
That philosophy was the by-product of the days in which he was still a loner, when the only thing he had left as a person was his pride.
Hikigaya Hachiman believed himself totally unfit for the company of others.
So what if he was not like the others?
So what if the world laughed at his lonesome?
He would laugh back and point at them when they inevitably crash and burn.
…I didn't need sweet fruits that were like a lie after all.
His experiences in middle school had made him wary that one day the rug would be pulled out underneath him,
—that everything that he had struggled to build would come toppling down.
Ironic.
In the end it all came down to one simple desire.
He'd rather be sincerely hated than to be affectionately deceived.
At least in that space—he would know what others wanted from him.
Because when falsehood can look so like the truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness?
Deep down, he was kinda tired of reading between the lines and doubting every little thing.
Guiltily wishing that—when he looked at another, he could see them for who they were and not the masks they adorn themselves with.
I wanted to be genuine.
He had thought that this would be his white whale. [2.] Forever to exist in the deepest recesses of his mind and at the edges of his dreams.
But no winter lasts forever and no spring skips its turn. For miraculously he found something special in his time with the service club.
It wasn't perfect nor was it easy, but by the end of it all, he had been satisfied.
And standing right at the center of it all, was her—Yukinoshita Yukino.
At the beginning, he had carelessly labelled her as a strong girl who spoke no lies. Her strength had blinded him into thinking that out of everyone, she would be the one to do it.
—That she would be the one to fulfil the ideals that he had not lived up to.
Yet reality has a way to make you face as it is, not as it was nor how you wish it to be.
For Yukino Yukinoshita was neither strong nor was she the paragon of truth that he idealized.
Which, funnily enough, she didn't need to be any of these things in the first place. As he would soon discover that the person underneath it all was as delightfully wonderful all the same.
I'm bothered by the very fact that people exist, but you're an exception.
…To think that he would one day find himself saying such cheesy lines…oh, how the mighty have fallen. No doubt if his younger self saw him now he'd be rolling in his grave shouting death to all riajuus. [3.]
Wait—wouldn't that mean I unconsciously labelled myself as a riajuu?
…Ugh, what kind of monster has he become? Only Saika's precious smile can cure him now.
How sweet is the affection of others to such a wretch as I am!
Tee-hee.
XXX
"Could you please not smile out of nowhere like that? It's creepy." Yukino's cold voice cut him out of his reverie.
Ah, finally done being embarrassed are we?
"Furthermore—it's rude to stare. Continue doing so and I would be liable to sue you for sexual harassment, Hikkivoyeur-kun."
Hello pot, have you met kettle yet?
"Says the girl who was busy undressing me with her eyes a few moments ago." He shot back.
Yukino's eyes widened slightly in disbelief, lowering her book, she exclaimed:
"I did no such thing! I—"
"Sure you didn't."
"…just merely happened to look in your general direction." She continued. "You're the one whose mind needs to get out of the gutter Hikigaya-kun…not me, certainly not I."
"Repeat that enough times and even you might start believing in it…Yukipervert-san." Hachiman said challengingly, not backing down.
"Ara, so I need to sue not just for sexual harassment, but for slander as well it seems." She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Your crimes just keep on adding up, Hikkicriminal-kun."
"Oi, you can't accuse me of crimes that don't exist, Yukiperjury-san." He argued.
"Au contraire, I happen to have obtained quite a long list of all your wrongdoings and misdemeanours over the years from a close source."
Et tu, Komachi?
"You should enjoy freedom while it lasts—for your days are already numbered." She haughtily said, speaking like a villainess straight out of an otoge. [4.]
"Objection! No such thing exists…Show me the evidence, the evidence I say!" Raising his own finger, he brandished it at her like a certain spiky-haired attorney would. [5.]
"Tsk tsk, that's the line of thinking the guilty would choose to employ." She wagged her fingers in return. "Knowing they can't actually prove their innocence, they instead resort to attacking their accusers." She said, a little too disdainfully.
"Woman, your line of thinking is the one that doesn't make any sense—like at all."
"Ah, but you don't have to think too hard about it, Hikigaya-kun." Yukino said, completely ignoring him. "For I'm afraid—the guilt is already written on your face."
"No it isn't."
"Ara, knowing you'd deny it, I already had it written earlier."
—What are you a time traveller?
"I don't believe even a demon superwoman like you is capable of something that amazing."
"Believe me or not—it doesn't change the fact you're quite still guilty of your crimes to humanity, Hikkiconvict-kun." Yukino pressed on firmly, not willing to concede. "Miscreants like you should be locked up and have the key thrown away, so the world would never have to endure your presence again."
Seriously…? Okay this girl is maybe—just maybe—still annoyed by my teasing earlier. Hm, knowing her, she won't stop until it feels like she completely got one over me.
Intellectually, the right choice was to concede and let Yukino win as a form of apology for all the teasing recently…
Ah, but I've always been the rebellious type, so how can I just give up then and there? My pride demands vindication!
So the question becomes, how does one defeat a Yukinoshita Yukino? Hachiman began to think, but ultimately fell short of an answer. In all their time together, Yukino had always been the winner of their verbal battles, leaving him to sulk in defeat.
…well, there is one option present that he could use right now.
Making up his mind, Hachiman bookmarked his light novel, stood up from his corner of the table, and dragged his seat closer to hers.
Settling down—he turned to face her and was met with the sight of a confused Yukinoshita Yukino.
There's no other choice, really…if I don't end this soon, um…poor Komachi will feel lonely at home. So, this is probably justified…!
With his excuses locked and loaded, he closed the distance between them.
"Oh—so I'm guilty now am I?" Hachiman said in a strange tone, feeling his voice tremble.
It's not too late, Hachiman! You can still back out!
"…Yes?" She answered warily, slightly leaning back.
Oh my god, I'm actually doing this…
"Since I'm so guilty…" He let the sentence linger, before continuing:
"—are you gonna punish me then, Yukino?"
"…"
"…"
God, kill me now.
Clearly not expecting to hear—that—from him, Yukino's pale face reddened in a curious mix of anger and embarrassment.
Struggling to reply, she opened her mouth to speak, before stopping, only for her to start again…caught in a loop.
Beep. Boop. Yukinoshita . exe has crashed.
…
…
"..Y-You cad! Is there no limit to your shamelessness?" Finally remembering how to speak, she let out a barrage of insults. "Clearly I had underestimated the levels of depravity you possess."
She scooted further away. "It shouldn't, at this point—but it still baffles me how much lower you can go."
"Oh trust me, this isn't even my final form."
"The fact that you can say that with such confidence is quite frankly, amazing." Yukino pressed her temples as if she were in great pain. "Weird boy—this might be the first time since birth that I appreciated you."
"…Wait, did you just hit on me? Sorry that nearly made my heart skip a beat, but now that I think about it—it's really not happeninggg."
—Somewhere, a certain fox-like kouhai sneezed.
"Wrong, as a woman of exquisite taste, I would certainly never debase myself with someone as rotten as you." She said, arms crossing over her chest.
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
"And pray tell, where is this—woman—you are speaking of…?" He looked around the room before settling his gaze back to her.
Yukino scowled in response.
"Is this—woman—in the same room with us, Yukinoshita-san?" He said, pointedly not looking at her chest.
Yukino scowled harder.
"Telling the same—joke—twice doesn't make it any funnier in the first place, Hikkijester-kun." She frostily said.
"Ah, resorting back to name calling now are we? How childish." He shot back.
"Well, you do possess the reputation of a clown…only without the talent of one." She coldly said, disregarding Hachiman's gasp of mock offense. "So I don't think the nickname is too far off, really."
"How you wound me so, Yukinoshita. I swear, the Hikigaya clan will never forget about this!" Hand in his heart, he made a rueful gesture.
"I guess the Hikigaya clan will have to forget about it soon then—considering the bloodline will have to end with you." She said ignoring his theatrics.
Pfft-
Unable to hold himself back, Hachiman snorted with infectious laughter. Yukino herself tried to maintain a cold look…but judging by the way her mouth desperately tried not to curl up?
She wasn't too successful.
"…Okay, you kinda got me with that one…I'll admit." He said after being able to stop laughing.
"Why, thank you." Yukino actually stood up and curtsied with a small smile on her face.
Damnit woman, why was that kind of attractive…?
Finishing her curtsy, she happened to glance at the clock before realizing that it was nearing the time for the club to end.
"Well…it would seem that we will have to stop today's activities—it's about time I lock up." She said in a tone almost resembling regret.
Hearing that tone in her voice made him feel some type of way as he stood up and got ready.
He hadn't even realised it was already so late...
Because tucked away they were in their little corner of the school,
—time had been all but forgotten to the two of them.
In the past, Hachiman had been a little resentful that the service club claimed so much of his time. Afternoons were to be spent relaxing at home with his beloved Vita-chan—not running around school trying to solve problems.
And yet at this moment…he can't help but feel as if there would be no complaints if she continued claiming it.
"I, uhh, enjoyed talking with you today." He ended up blurting out as she packed her bags.
Perhaps not used to such candidness from him, she was momentarily taken aback, unable to move, not responding.
"Honestly, it was fun—it always is." He prattled on before he could stop. "Time seems to stop making sense when I'm with you."
"…"
"…"
Hachiman cursed in his mind, thinking that he might've pushed it too far…
But as the words finally sunk into her, Yukino started fiddling with her bag…
Seemingly conflicted, it felt like she had something to say, but was unable to. It was a rare moment of hesitation for someone normally as straightforward as her.
"I-I can't say that I fully disagree…with that opinion either." She stuttered out a reply, before taking a deep breath as if to gather her courage. Her uncertain expression transitioning into a firm one.
Hm..?
He blinked and before he knew it, she was moving in his direction.
Stopping before him, she held her right arm with her left. Eyes not quite able to meet his, she settled for looking at the ground.
He opened his mouth to ask what she was doing before abruptly stopping…as she did something completely unexpected.
—She took a step forward, slowly raising her hands to his chest and latching onto his blazer.
This is…new? What is ha—
"Earlier, I actually lied." Yukino said in a small voice, taking him out of his thoughts.
"…W-What do you mean?" He stuttered, flustered by the turn of events.
One step closer— and they would be hugging.
"When I said that it was the first time I, um, appreciated you." She clarified, harkening back to their back and forth earlier.
Oh.
"I never got around to it, but I had been meaning to talk to you about what happened during the festival committee." Yukino opened.
"At the time when the whole Sagami incident started, I had convinced myself that no one there would be of any help." She smiled sadly. "And that—to ensure the success of the project—I would have to carry everything out by myself."
Which, in the end you kinda still did…
"I had been prepared to do so as well…it was the duty of the blessed to give to those who are less fortunate out of the goodness of their heart, after all." She mused.
Maybe this Hachiman is crazy…but I don't think noblesse oblige requires you to overwork to the point of falling ill…
"So color me surprised to see somebody there actually take work off my plate, instead of adding more on to it." She said pleasantly as her fingers unconsciously started playing with his blazer, straightening the imaginary creases out of them.
He felt his face burn.
"Also, don't think I didn't catch on to what you were doing with that stupid slogan of yours either." She said, before continuing:
"Seriously…who thinks of stuff like that, you're such an idiot."
After chiding him, there was a beat of silence where the two just stood staring at each other.
"…"-"…"
Unable to bear the silence…he found himself looking away first.
That seemed to be the catalyst for Yukino to snap back into her senses as her face flushed red instantly.
—Yet strangely enough…she made no move to separate from him.
For a brief period of time, a delicate atmosphere filled the clubroom.
Yukino looked down and whispered in a small voice:
"So, that is to say, your presence was, uhm, appreciated…or something."
…
…
…
"W-well! Am I talking to a tree or whatnot?" She shook him slightly, expecting at least a response.
"…Um, y-you're kinda…a bit close, right now…yeah." Hachiman stumbled over his response, still avoiding her gaze.
He felt nervous and strangely guilty—for no apparent reason.
Seeing his unusually taciturn behaviour, Yukino tilted her head cutely as she felt the gears start turning in her head.
"Oh?" She exclaimed.
"Oh." She exclaimed again,
—her lips curling to a devilish smile eerily reminiscent of her older sister.
Uh oh…I don't like that look in her eyes…
They say lightning doesn't strike twice, but I guess they've never met Yukinoshita Yukino before. Because like a shark smelling blood in the water—she moved to lean in again.
Hachiman reflexively moved back, but found himself unable to with the iron grip she had on his blazer.
Standing this close to one other, he could feel the subtle rise and fall of her chest, her body heat melting with his as her fragrance threatened to overwhelm his mind.
"…I-Is there a problem with me being this close?" She began to stutter at first, despite the boldness of her actions. "Aren't I simply doing what you wanted?" As she kept talking, her confidence grew stronger with each passing word.
"Um, what do you mean…?"
"Why—just earlier—didn't you say that you wanted to be punished?" Her words were dripping with sensuality, her tone so alluring that it felt almost sinful to his ears.
He gulped, feeling the words die in his throat.
"Well, consider your wish granted then…" She whispered, eyes gleaming with triumph—she went in for the kill.
"Hachiman."
…
…
Damn.
"W-What do you have in mind, then?" He played along.
Her eyes lit up, as if waiting for the opportunity.
"Your punishment is to be in charge of making tea for the club this week," she stated firmly, a woman on a mission. "I expect high-quality tea to be ready for me whenever I request, starting tomorrow…D-Do you understand?"
He thought she would ask for something even more outrageous given how bold she was being. However, surprisingly, she opted for something quite mundane.
Ah, well…this is Yukino and her penchant for tea, so it makes sense.
"Um, tea? Sure…I can do that."
Seemingly pleased with his answer, she released his hold on his blazer and returned back to her seat, leaving him in a daze.
XXX
What was that about…? That was really…hot, um…yeah. God, I swear this girl will be the death of me…
He sighed and lifted a hand to his chest…he could still feel the ghost of her fingers playing with his blazer.
…See, this is why he should learn to take it slow, tease her too much and the Yukinoshita-women genes come out in full force.
Komachi had always warned him to not poke the sleeping cat—Kamakura—or else he'd risk getting bitten.
—But listening to people had never been his strong suit anyway.
A soft giggle from across the room broke him out of his thoughts.
Realizing he was kinda just staring at her, Hachiman started moving back to his side of the table.
As he did so, he was unable to resist himself as he covertly took a glance back—only to catch her in the middle of doing a little fist pump in celebration.
Hachiman felt himself melt.
Because for all his bravado, he still felt nervous.
He knows he should be over all the butterflies and yet he finds himself feeling it all the same—like it was the first time all over again.
Because even after inexplicably travelling to the past, he can't help but still fall for Yukinoshita Yukino.
Author's Note:
Well, I wasn't subtle with it at all, was I?
Anyways, the premise of the story came to me when I read "My youth romantic comedy is wrong, AGAIN?" by hyth. As I was reading it, I thought to myself, 'Wouldn't it be funny if Hachiman went back to the past and started messing with Yukino?' Well, what you see here is the result of that mixed in with me just wanting to write some HachiYuki fluff.
Btw, apologies if the characters act OOC, this was actually my first time properly writing fanfic and the only prior experience I had with writing were limited to school essays and that one fanfic I did when I was in middle school (lol). On top of that, English is my second language so don't be surprised if I misuse some words here or there or if there are any grammatical issues.
That said, I think I did a decent enough job in the first chapter. So I don't think anyone reading this will want to gouge their eyes out (hopefully!).
Next chapter will probably come out sometime in your lifetime, so be on the lookout for that!
Footnotes:
[1.] Reference to Kaguya-sama's infamous "O kawaii koto."
[2.] Metaphor originating from Moby-Dick for something that one can pursue with little chance of success.
[3.] Japanese internet slang for the English equivalent of normie.
[4.] Category of story-based romance video games targeted towards women.
[5.] Phoenix Wright's famous pose and catchphrase.