3

The man that arrived was not MIB, he was Unit. Ianto knew who he was as he had seen him at Grandfather's meetings at times and also knew that the tepid young man in the three-piece suit always providing refreshments was likely not even noticed.

Idiots.

The thing that made this the most interesting for Ianto was the vehicle he drove up in. A flash SWAT style armoured one with some lovely tat he had provided, he knew this was stop of the line and worth more than one of those big birds on the helipad. Black as per agreement but the UNIT in red lettering acro the bonnet, on each door and the red stripe along the side were clearly another breach. One side door was open, held by a soldier.

Ianto walked around it as Jack squared off against the man, chest to chest as they roared at one another, pointing at the man's stripes, Jack's wings and then Jack dropped his favourite clanger that he was ex Airforce and a fucking captain in every right so fuck you nicely.

John was standing with Rhys watching Ianto as he slowly stalked the vehicle like it was a predator… no. He was the predator and he crouched to place his thump on the back bumper a one of the Unit men noticed "Oi, get away from our…"

THUD

Ianto rose and smiled sweetly as he raised his hands and stepped back, the man who had been holding the door had stepped back with alarm. The General stopped mid rant as he turned to look at the vehicle "Did that just lock down?"

"Sir… yes sir" the poor driver groaned as he tried the fob to start it. He examined the little fob and groaned again "It is giving off Unregistered User lights."

"Bullshit" the General scoffed as he strode towards it and Ianto made a little noise of excitement that made John and Rhys both focus more on the stomping idiot. The man reached out to grab the handle to pull himself into the still open vehicle and…. Boooooom…. He shot across the parking lot to slam into one of the incapacitated Jeeps. As he lay there winded and moaning in pain, the door of the Armoured Vehicle silently slid closed and another softer click was heard to signal that it was now totally locked.

Ianto looked back at the man on the ground and crouched so he was close to him as he said softly "Now, now then my good man. You know the contract on these babies. You ever use them against Jones Corp and Jones Corp will retaliate. This is an act of aggression by yourself and your men and I will not have it."

Ianto rose and looked around at the others standing there with their mouths agape. He added "The bridge marks the border to this town. Bad Wolf Bay belongs to me. From the bridge to the far mountain range… all this in between is mine. I own this dirt. By crossing the bridge you entered MY realm and in doing so, violated the accord between Jones Corp and Unit. If you don't understand, ask MIB what happens when you fuck off the owner/operator."

The man had finally got his breath back and he staggered to his feet, one hand on the jeep for stability as he squinted at Ianto "And who the fuck are you!"

"Mister Jones."

Silence as Ianto eyeballed him back. Then after a few beats he said "Best start walking for that bridge. Any and all equipment that is Jones Corp will be repossessed the moment it enters my realm."

"Your realm" one of the other men scoffed "Like you are a feckin king!"

"No. I am not a king. A m Tzar!" Ianto said grandly and tittering started as the townsfolk who had assembled to watch saw Ianto playing with the scum "You must call me Great Tzar Jones!"

The general's mouth opened and closed as Ianto pulled out his phone and made a call "Hi there. This is Ianto Jones. I am hereby closing any and all accounts with UNIT and I want a total recall for any and all our property they have leased out please. Hmmmm. Yes. I know. Hmmmmm. Exactly. Well, hop to it, ta-ta."

Ianto placed the cell phone back in his pocket and eyeballed the men "I don't know what they will collect you in… might borrow a bus from the nearby special school. You know… one of those short busses?"

More giggling now as the men loked around with confusion.

"Next time you come to poke the Tiger, best remember that I have big claws, bigger teeth and above all… I am not just a Tiger" Ianto now stood nose to nose with the man who was slowly deflating as he saw the size and hidden strength of the man challenging him in broad daylight "I am a fucking dragon and I will raze you to the ground before I allow disrespect in MY home."

"John. Want to drive this sorry lot to the bridge? As a show of... well… compassion? Ah, what's the word?" Ianto screwed his face up as he loked up at the sky "Pity?"

"Pity. I can do pity Eye Candy" John nodded, "But how do we unlock one?"

"Pick."

Jonh loked at him sceptically and pointed at the one that was on the end, the running board pristine and the sets covered in black leather. Top of the line. Ianto walked over and crouched, placing his thump to the little circle, then he rose "Get in and place both hands on the steering wheel."

Jonh complied with a look of glee.

"Now… press both thumbs into the soft wheel."

A loud thud and the vehicle visibly rose an inch or two.

"Fuck me... that was fun. These are nicer than that limo… can I drive it like you do?" Jonh asked.

"Just remember no airbags so… not quite like I do. A little care for yourself" Ianto laughed as he waved a hand "But this is your vehicle now. No one else can make it go. It will only ignite for you… well or me."

"Ignite. Wow, I love that" John said softly "We have ignition."

Well? Best hurry up you lot, when he gets the urges, he takes off and if you lot are not on bord… he will leave you all behind like dogs" Jack said as he waved an arm imperiously at the Jeep.

The men rushed to clamber up the steps an into the back all vying for a space as the General went to get into the passenger seat but Rhys beat him to it, sliding in to turn and stare at him like he was mad.

Begrudgingly, the man shimmied up on the running board of the Jeep and glowered as he sat, jiggling down the road a John drove sedately to the outskirts of the Town with he men in the back packed like sardines… then he put his foot down.

Ianto turned back to look at Jack who was eyeballing him and sighed "Yes. I know… I could have given Rhys one to make it easier but… where is the fun in that? What? Oh… well… OK. You can have the armoured vehicle."

Jack punched the air as Ino shook his head and wondered where they were going to park all of these toys.

Hopefully now they would get the message to stop fucking him off.

Right?

"OK… anyone else? Mayor Greene? Want one?"