As Emily awaited the discharge nurse, she pulled out her phone and checked the time. Her eyes widened as she saw it was already 7AM. Has it already been four hours since the explosion? Emily looked all around her and realized she couldn't see a window. It must be light outside by now. Emily was so caught up in going through the motions, she sort of forgot to exist. But then she glanced back at her phone screen and noticed she had several unread text messages from her team. Shit. Seeing all the time stamps, Emily's stomach dropped. She forgot about everyone and everything outside that hospital room. Guilt flooded her. She didn't want anyone to worry.
DEREK MORGAN
5:16AM
hey, bb girl. Docs did wellness check and im good to go. Looks like u and Reid are both waiting for scans. Gonna head back to hotel. Lmk when you're out. :-*
SPENCER REID
6:10AM
Emily, I'm discharging now. Great news—just bruised. Nothing broken. Nurse said you've declined visitors. Are you okay?
6:27AM
My car is here. I'm going to go, but please touch base soon. Let me know when you get released.
JENNIFER JEREAU
6:18AM
Hey, Em. Haven't heard from you. Boys are both done at hosp. Almost done here.
6:32AM
1/2 That's it! The media has had enough of this spectacle for one night—correction: morning. -.- Shooed them away professionally like a good little liaison, of course—but I hope they got the message
2/2 that they can all fuck right off after the danger they put you in. Anyway, I'm coming to get you.
6:58
Just found a parking spot. I still haven't heard from you and I'm worried. Should I come in or wait here?
7:01
You have five minutes to answer me before I go berate the front desk and demand to see you..
Emily's stomach fluttered as she scrambled to recheck the time. 7:04. Phew. She was relieved to have caught at least one message in a timely manner.
To: JENNIFER JEREAU
7:05
Ah I'm sorry! Perfect timing actually. I'm discharging now. Pull the car around?
7:06
I tip my chauffeurs well B-)
—
JJ was idling in the hospital portico, staring tiredly at the entrance, when she finally saw Emily pop through the doors in a wheelchair, pushed by an orderly. Relief flooded JJ as she saw her friend fully intact and true to character. The obvious reluctance in Emily's face as she was wheeled around was reassuring. JJ hopped out of the car and ran around the vehicle straight to her friend and colleague. "Heyyy, sweetie! Let me help you up."
"Yes, please get me out of this thing… and the hell out of here…." Emily groaned.
"How did you convince her into the chair?" JJ jested with the orderly as she helped Emily stand.
"Hospital policy," the orderly and Emily responded in tandem, his triumph mixed with her dissatisfaction. JJ and the orderly shared a knowing grin and chuckle before their eye contact was broken by the task at hand. JJ offered Emily her left hand for leverage and wrapped her right around Emily's upper back.
"Thank you, sir." JJ waved to the man in scrubs as he turned the chair and headed back inside. She then opened the car door for Emily, gently snatched the white doggy bag from her hand, and braced Emily's elbow as she hoisted herself into the car. She closed the door, then reappeared through the driver's side door and lifted herself into the seat. She tossed the pharmacy bag into Emily's lap as she did so, which sounded like a set of maracas as it landed.
"Damn. That's quite the goodie bag! What do you have in there?" JJ asked rhetorically as she reached for her seatbelt.
Emily, feeling incongruously defensive, casually brushed off the answer, then deflected with humor. "Oh just loads of superfluous pain meds and relaxers that I didn't bother saying no to. It's on the government's dime, so why not?"
JJ chuckled slightly and started the car but did not move to start driving. Instead, she leaned back in her seat and reached out to the woman sitting next to her. JJ took hold of Emily's forearm on the center console and gently squeezed it, then proceeded to rub her thumb back and forth affectionately as she looked sincerely into Emily's eyes. She exhaled a sigh of relief and said, "I'm just really glad you're okay."
Emily felt a sharp pang in her gut, as she still wasn't well-practiced at receiving affection. Still, JJ's touch spread a warmth through Emily's body that went all the way to her tear ducts. She was surprised to feel her eyes begin to well, so she blinked the water away as she sent JJ an affirmative nod and a submissive smile. The heartfelt moment lasted for a beat, then JJ returned her hand to the stick shift, positioned it in "drive", and pulled out of the lot. The women headed off to the hotel, hitting a drive-through along the way for some long-overdue sustenance and coffee.
—
TO: SPENCER REID
7:21AM
Hey, hon. I'm on the road with JJ now. I'm doing fine—banged up but on the mend. I'm sorry I worried you. Just haven't had a chance to check my phone. 3 headed your way.
TO: DEREK MORGAN
7:23AM
With JJ now. Heading back to the hotel and doing ok. Ready to be showered and changed and asleep until dinner.
"Everything ok?" JJ asked, noticing Emily vigorously tapping her thumbs on the keyboard of her phone.
"Yeah. Just texting the boys. I seem to have neglected several people in the last few hours…. Have you updated Hotch?" Emily replied to JJ just as she hit "send" on her text to Morgan.
"Yeah I was on the phone with him just before you came outside. He and Dave just got back to the hotel."
Emily heaved a sigh and shook her head in defeat. "Damn. What a steaming hot mess."
There was a mutual exhale between the women before they carried on back to the hotel. Upon arrival, they rode the elevator together, then parted ways on the third floor, where they and their coworkers were staying.
Emily entered her hotel room, shut the door promptly, then heaved a sigh of relief as she leaned back onto the closed door. She stayed there a while, breathed in and out, and paid close attention to the silence surrounding her; the wood grain on the door beneath her fingertips. Her ears were relishing their first proper break in several days. The deafening quiet banged on her eardrums intensely. She relished it and became consumed by it. She even began to smile ever so slightly, as she became entranced by the dancing nothingness behind her eyelids. Nothing happened, and nothing hurt. Nothing. She exhaled deeply.
Emily had stayed put, propped against the door, for almost ten minutes. Eventually, after her body became satisfied with its reprieve, Emily jolted herself back into existence. She pushed her weight off the door and headed straight into the bathroom to get the water running in the shower. She then went back out into the room, towel in hand. She undressed rapidly, stuffing her trousers and undergarments into her mesh laundry bag. Her shirt however, she tossed onto the bed. It was blood-stained and the buttons were not worth repairing. After wrapping herself in a towel, Emily grabbed her shirt and stuffed it resentfully into the hotel trash can, rolling her eyes. She then made her way to the shower, where she would spend, perhaps a little too long, cleansing herself of the past 72 hours.
—
After washing, Emily changed into pajamas, though it was only still morning. She needed to sleep. Really, she needed to not be awake. To make it easier, she opened her bag from the pharmacy and went straight for the codeine, popped one in her mouth and climbed into bed. Her head hit the pillow and exhaustion took her. She was so, so tired. Not just physically, but mentally. As the horrors of the past days began to creep into her mind—Cyrus's hands, Jessie's last words, oh God, Cathy's heartbroken face—she pushed them away, reminding herself she and the team had done all they could. Four people died that night; eighty-seven lived. Including Reid. Including Derek. Including herself. She repeated the phrase, like a mantra in her mind, until sleep finally came for her:
"It was a minimal loss scenario.
A minimal loss scenario.
A… minimal… loss… scenario."