Chapter 41

The bed was empty when Harm woke up at God knew what time. He stretched his arm across the mattress only to find Mac's side cold which meant she'd been gone for quite some time. Propping open one eye he searched for the alarm clock and its blaring red display. 1410, UK time.

Other than one trip to the head, he'd been asleep for nearly a whole day. Not that it mattered, after their ordeal with Vukovic and a two day stay at the hospital, he was on medical leave and Mac was granted some time off as well.

They hadn't spoken much about what had happened, enough had been said to the authorities so the pair arrived at his apartment, showered and went to bed. He recalled her warm body pressed against his, the sweet kisses that lulled him to sleep.

No discussion about their billets, his trial, its repercussions or the fate of an impromptu marriage. He'd likely resume his command and that meant she'd return to hers. If the distance between London and San Diego felt lengthy once, now it was positively abysmal.

It wasn't just the mileage but the time it took to cross from one land to another, the hours that separated him. They'd have to carefully plan each meeting, each phone call and while other military couples were in similar predicaments, to Harm it felt like they were the only ones.

Communication had always been a pitfall when they lived in the same city and the only thing separating them was the window between their offices. The distance and hours would likely destroy the delicate balance of their relationship that he was unsure how to keep alive. Harm loved her; he always would but even love couldn't keep them together forever.

There were ways, of course. Some he'd entertained on their wedding night when Mac lay asleep in his arms but giving up his commission for a third time would be a bell that couldn't be unrung. He wouldn't get lucky for a third time if things should change.

With a huff, he raised himself off the mattress, groaning as his body protested. He felt like hell probably looked the part, as well. Slowly, he made his way to the bathroom and glanced at himself in the mirror. The bruises had begun their natural process which meant that there were now purplish blots across his body and unshaven face.

He got to work on the whiskers peppering his cheeks, running a razor across the coarse hairs that usually took forever to grow. Harm much prefered being clean shaven and it felt odd when anything more than a five o'clock shadow adorned his face. He suspected Mac enjoyed the smoother skin as well as it prickled less when they kissed.

After a lengthy shower he went in search for his wife that he found lying on the sofa fast asleep. His USN throw was pulled across her body and Mac's head lay on a small pillow. She didn't look too comfortable but any thoughts of carrying her to bed were thwarted when amber eyes met his.

"Hey, beautiful. Sleepy?"

"Hey, sailor…I was just resting my eyes."

"Right." Harm sat at the edge of the sofa when she scooted over to make space for him. He leaned and kissed her soundly. "You okay?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you?"

"I wasn't the one who got kidnapped."

She rolled her eyes and grinned. "No, but I wasn't nearly killed either." Well, there was a time or two but it was nothing like what Harm experienced. At the hospital, Hollings had filled in the details that were far more terrible than what she imagined. He'd lost a lot of blood, the battle left numerous bruises across his body and a corpse which was dealt with.

At first it was odd stepping into an apartment where someone had died but a crew had cleaned the place rather spectacularly. The heaviness that might have surrounded a home after a death was nonexistent. Maybe they were just happy to be home for whatever time they had left together.

That's what prompted her sleepless night. With Vukovic in custody and the likelihood of Harm's case being dismissed, she was in the UK on borrowed time. Part of her did miss California with its year-round pleasant weather, an apartment that overlooked the beach and a command position she actually loved. Was she ready to trade it all in for a man?

Being comfortable in her solitude came easily when you enjoyed your job. Was she lonely at times? Of course. Mac would be lying if Harm's postcard wouldn't have brought her to the UK without being ordered to. She missed him. She loved him and the time apart gave her the confidence to try again.

Now they were married. She snorted at the absurdity of the last two and a half months, a temporary assignment that earned her a husband. While quite unorthodox, nothing was every easy between the two of them, why would a relationship be?

Last night, while he slept Mac weighed the heavy decision that, perhaps was the catalyst that always kept them apart: their careers. She'd left the Corps once only to find a civilian lifestyle that wasn't for her. The pay was insanely good, a generous six figure salary which clouded her better judgment. Harm too had left. Once to fly and a second time to save her life.

The guilt of his selfless act still gnawed at her as did the endless repercussions and PTSD which she finally got a handle on with an exceptional therapist in California. And that was another problem, who in the UK would listen as well as her current psychologist did? Strides she finally made in order to heal hadn't been possible without the good doctor.

Others had tried but she never felt the therapy bridged some of the tougher subjects once she came to terms with her body's inability to have children. And now this, the man softly tracing the healing bruises on her face. The man who accepted her, as is, even with all the baggage she still carried.

It would be Hell to drag herself away from him not when Mac finally knew what it was like to be loved, really loved by Harmon Rabb Jr. "I get it now, why you held back for so long. I thought you just didn't want me this way."

He lay next to her, a feat that was a little complicated by the aches of his body. "I've never not wanted you. Physically, the attraction was always there and it didn't help that you always flirted back."

"Our banter was flirting?" She grinned.

"You know it was."

"Mmm." That made sense given how it could sometimes turn her on. "This between us is…I don't know how to explain it, really."

"Catastrophic." He said sadly and while Mac hadn't quite formulated that specific word, it made sense. "The moment you leave it's…You'll hurt me. I'll hurt you. It's sorta what we do, isn't it?"

"But, we haven't in the last couple of weeks. It's been good, minus a few bumps that were out of our control."

Harm grinned at her analogy, dealing with Vukovic had been more than just a 'bump.' "You're right. It's been a Honeymoon and I've loved every moment of it."

"But?"

"But, we're heading back to where we started when we left Washington. Or back to that damned ferry ride in Sydney." Gently, he stroked her arm, relishing the goosebumps he could create with just a simple touch. "I'd give it all up, Mac. All of it for you but, you won't let me and I won't let you."

Mac shook her head. She didn't want the resentment nor did he need hers. How do you let go of something you've known your whole life? Being a Marine wasn't just a job, it was as part of her identity as the Navy was his. "What do you propose?"

He shrugged, "We do the long distance thing and see where that leads us. For all you know one of us could get shipped closer."

Closer? She doubted that. "Rumor has it the UK office is moving to Naples." Which meant he'd likely rub elbows with Caitlin Pike. Pregnant or not. Married or not, Mac will always be a little jealous of her husband's former partner - his former lover. She hated knowing they slept together but didn't dare ask how deep their intimacy wen. Kate had filled in enough of that gap years with an unwanted conversation at JAG HQ. Her jealousy would be yet another topic for her therapy sessions along with, what she deemed, was a lack of commitment on her part.

"And? Italy's a gorgeous place, better weather. You love pasta and-"

"And more distance."

"Just a few hours. We can always meet halfway."

She snorted again, "Where? In the middle of the Atlantic? It's not like we can just hop on a plane whenever, Harm. It'll take planning and half of the time spent traveling."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes. You have to know that I do."

He did, which was why he was trying to make it work at all costs. "So then consider the distance temporary."

"Temporary." That sounded splendid only she didn't want to wait twenty years in limbo when they were both retired and older. She wanted to be with him now and never let him go. "Let me guess, temporary until you retire?"

"No, just temporary." Until he found a solution that would keep them both happy. He was a man of action, a natural born fixer who was damned determined to keep Mac in his life forever. The how was slightly out of his reach but not impossible to attain, they just needed to stay positive. "I'll call you every day."

"Not if I call you first." Mac challenged. There were several ways to stay in touch: phone calls, emails and a newer platform that offered free video calls anywhere in the World. "We'll make it work, right?"

"Yeah, we'll make it work and when we do see each other it'll be that much sweeter." There was also their honeymoon, a real honeymoon that he'd promised. Harm still dreamt of his tropical island, secluded as it was to create the perfect lover's paradise.

Mac would be scantily clad in a skimpy bathing suit, a two piece bikini whose triangles could barely contain her breasts. He imagined removing the straps, letting them fall from her flawless body so that he could worship every inch of her skin. Maybe, along with flight tickets to the Bahamas, he'll send a new bikini? Hell, maybe he'd recommend she stay naked - whatever worked best. "We'll make it work."

Neither of them believed it would.

One Week Later

Harm took a seat next to Mac in one of the oversized chairs just in front of Admiral Hollings' desk. It felt like a changing of the guard, taking back his power that was basically stripped from him. Rightfully so, Harm knew he was not a saint, an attack on a junior officer needed to be dealt with which was why the Admiral called the meeting.

"General Cresswell asked me to handle this myself." He was holding Harm's case file, the one full with images of Vic's injuries. "I never should have allowed this to get so far. For that, please accept my apologies."

Ideally, Mac would have enjoyed engaging in a verbal spar with Hollings. There were many subjects to choose from begining with the affair with DeLong. Instead, she bit her tongue deciding it was time to make amends rather than make the man an enemy. Besides, it was a bad situation for all of them. "What will happen to DeLong?"

"Nothing. Even if she covered for Vukovic, we don't have proof of any wrongdoing and her Chief of Staff has been rather forgetful since leaving the hospital."

"Of course, she's the teflon woman, nothing sticks." Mac said ruefully. One victory was better than none, she supposed but it would have been enjoyable to see Adele behind bars for aiding and abetting. "I've never understood why she's so untouchable?"

"The woman has dirt on everyone." Hollings would know, she held their affair over him like a noose. "Rumor has it she's being considered for first female Commander in Chief. But, it's just a rumor and she'd have to tie off numerous loose ends before someone finds all the skeletons in her closet."

Harm frowned, wondering how long Vukovic would remain locked up before the Ambassador found a way to get him out. There were still a slew of charges which were slowly being filed: kidnapping, theft, solicitation to commit murder and manslaughter.

Accusations of rape meant a different trial and after all of the weeks when Jess refused to involve herself, the woman finally came forward. She'd gained the courage to tell her husband of the assault and together, the young couple had met with Harm and Mac.

Jessica wanted to press charges, be an advocate for other women who had suffered as she had. Harm held Vic's thumbdrive in the palm of his hand knowing it was evidence he'd have to give up. "I wish I could prosecute."

"I do too." Mac agreed but they were both witnesses for the prosecution. Her own involvement, taking the drive without permission, would be called into question.

"I heard the two of you are quite the team when on the same side." Hollings said, then took the drive that Harm reluctantly slid his way. "Keep it for now, Captain. It's safer in your hands. Some more victims might want to tell their story."

Harm palmed the drive and then slipped it into his breast pocket. "Thank you, sir."

"So, Colonel." Attention was shifted towards Mac and the normally gruff Admiral had the decency to smile. "Your orders returning you to California finally came in. Apparently they were lost due to an internet outage. I do hope your extended time in London wasn't too difficult."

"I made due, sir." The 'extended time' was the CO's version of an olive branch, a way to right many of the Admiral's wrongs. She gladly accepted the additional days because it meant a little more time with Harm. "Didn't miss the beach as much as I thought I would."

"Hard to believe that. I'll be glad when we make the move to Naples and out of this dreary weather." He stood, walked around the desk and offered a hand to Mac who shook it when she'd risen. "You're one helluva Marine, Colonel. I hope we cross paths again sometime."

"Same, sir."

Harm knew she didn't share the same sentiment. As far as Mac was concerned, the Admiral needed to be dropped a peg or two. He was confident karma would, eventually, sort out both Hollings and DeLong. "I assume this means I can fully resume my duties?"

"You can and while Cresswell agreed on nonjudicial punishment, there will be a formal letter of reprimand placed on your record, additional duties and two months forfeiture of pay. You did assault the man. Vukovic's charges won't make your own disappear."

"Understood and I expected that. It was a bell I couldn't unring." Part of him still wished he'd killed Vukovic but, having peace between him and DeLong was more important. "Permission to drive the Colonel to Heathrow, sir? Her flight leaves in a few hours."

Hollings checked his watch knowing the Colonel's flight wouldn't leave until the early evening. He glanced between the two expectant officers and sighed heavily. Ah, young love. He might have been a little jealous. "Granted, I'll see you tomorrow, Captain - bright and early."

"Aye, sir. Thank you, sir." They'd been given a little more private time together.

"Don't drive me to the airport."

Making love to Mac was a given the second he unlocked the apartment and she crashed into his arms. They kissed like two desperate and starved lovers. Stumbling across the apartment, Harm was sure several wall fixtures, a lamp and a painting or two would have to be replaced or straightened. It was as if they'd both been possessed by the spirit of horny teenagers that couldn't find the bed fast enough.

They made love three times or, at least he thought it was three because their first union was over far too quickly for his taste. His healing body hadn't been ready for sex but, just the thought of her leaving was the motivation needed to ignore some of his injuries.

The second and third times were lengthy, full of foreplay and he'd be remiss if he didn't spend ample time between Mac's thighs. He loved making her come, and enjoyed every scent and sound. He was obsessed with her despite knowing his obsessions weren't healthy.

"What do you mean?" He lay on his stomach and immediately propped up his head to look at her. Msc lay on her back, her head facing the opposite way. "Of course I'm taking you to Heathrow…of course."

She didn't want that and prefered their goodbye to remain in the confines of his bedroom. "Harm, no. I'll take a cab."

"Why would you take a cab?" As much as he didn't want her to go, he imagined a tender goodbye, a long, slow kiss that would catch the interest of wandering eyes at Heathrow. Women cry, Mac probably would and he'd reassure her that it was all just temporary. Hell, he'd probably cry too so why in the World would she need a cab if she had him?

Mac sighed, she'd been doing a lot of that in the last half hour and it wasn't the content kind. If Harm drove her to the airport he'd want to park and take her luggage and walk her in and share a goodbye that she wasn't mentally prepared for. They'd kiss the most bittersweet of kisses which would no doubt make her cry and Mac did not like crying in public. She'd be enough of a mess once the plane pushed away from the jetwalk and raced down the runway in search of open skies.

"I don't want you to take me."

"Why not?"

"Because in an hour I'll be dressed, ready to roll my luggage out your front door. We don't know when we'll see eachother again and I want our goodbye to be here, in your home and not some public space…I don't want to cry in public. I don't want to look back and see your sad expression like the one you're giving me now."

He was sad. This felt so much worse than their last hours at Falls Church knowing neither of them would ever return. Things were bad then and he actually welcomed a little breathing space their distance would grant him. "And I thought I was being strong for you."

"You're failing, sailor. Your expression won't lie."

She was already crying. A stray tear wandered down her cheek which Harm caught with the pad of his thumb.

As promised, Harm didn't drive Mac to the airport. Their last kiss, the final touch was in his living room before she closed the door and disappeared from his life again.

But, he would follow anyway and watch the planes taking off until the one carrying his heart disappeared into the gloomy skies. "Bye, Mac."