Chapter Eleven: Here I Am
As the days dragged on and began to turn into weeks, Kara busied her hands (and her mind) with her work at the repair shop and stopping by to tend to the horses at Danvers Ranch every now and again. She and Eliza avoided discussing their previous spat on the front porch and simply chose to move around each other on the property in an uncomfortable, deafening silence. Kara didn't make a habit of lingering once things were done. This unfortunately was the norm with a traditional southern upbringing; Family members could agree to acknowledge certain difficult matters of the heart but talking about them is, most of the time, out of the question. It was just easier to put on a good face and to carry on.
As far as work, business was good. No equipment disasters or dire repairs, or difficulties with sourcing parts… Just tune ups, brake jobs and oil changes. In and out. Kara was pleased with the easy work when it was in abundance, as it sure beat the heck out of a problem she just couldn't solve. The important thing was that it kept her busy. Her mind didn't tend to wander when she was focused on not hurting herself. But as soon as she got a spare minute? Dark, silky hair with eyes both blue and green filled her head like a thick, enveloping fog. She'd even forget where she was at times.
Kara hadn't heard from Lena in nearly a week. One of their last conversations involved Lena mentioning that she was taking a business trip to Beijing in order to secure a new China office along with its accompanying client base, which reportedly was mostly smart phone app developers who started their businesses with nothing but an idea and countless hours of coding. Lena said that it was important for her to show up in person as a gesture of good faith and that it was also an opportunity to decide for herself whether or not it was financially advantageous to acquire the client group sooner rather than later.
Something wet dripped onto her cheek, and quickly snapped her back to reality.
"Euugghh…" She grimaced to herself as she wiped the warm, sludgy drip of motor oil from her face with her forearm. Kara was suddenly underneath a farm truck back in her little podunk town and the socket wrench in her hand sat heavy on her sternum as she stared right through the leaky oil pan above her. Oh… right, Kara remembered.
Just as she lifted her arms and began to get back to work, the sound of Clark's voice shouting for her echoed through the shop like a shot through a tunnel. Kara growled under her breath then, thinking to herself that she just wanted the day to be over with. Clark hollered again, louder this time.
"Oh for the love of- what!?" She hollered back.
"Your Mama is callin' for you on the cordless!" He shouted in return, somewhere near the office she imagined.
Kara grumbled as she continued ratcheting. Even though there was peace between the Danvers women, she wasn't exactly thrilled when being summoned after the last time she truly spoke with the domineering matriarch.
"Tell her I can't right now!" Kara's gloved fingers, slick with motor oil, slipped on the head of the drain plug then as it threaded loose and plopped with a splash into the catch pan next to her head, which began to quickly fill with moderately hot oil. "Dammit…" She cursed at herself for not paying attention, and also for not waiting a little while to let the engine cool before changing the oil.
With an impatient growl through her teeth, Kara dove her fingers into the murky black liquid in search of the plug before the catch pan could fill. "Ow, shit, fuck—" She winced, locating the sunken plug and fishing it out quickly. The high temperature of the oil didn't actually burn her, but it was still hot enough to be unpleasant, if not slightly painful.
The sound of determined footfalls—more like stomps—approached and ended at the truck she was working on. Kara turned her head and could tell that it was Clark just by the look of his boots, which at this angle from where she lay on her creeper, she could see he was in desperate need of a new pair.
"She says it's important." He insisted.
"Well, Clark, tell her I'll call her back as soon as I get my hands clean."
Kara felt a hand suddenly grab the toe of one of her boots and the next thing she knew she was being yanked out from underneath the truck, the caster wheels beneath her rolling her easily in the direction she was being pulled.
"What the hell—" Kara exclaimed.
"I am not tellin' Mama Danvers nothin'. You talk to her."
Kara sat up and narrowed her eyes into daggers at her cousin. She then raised her arms to show that she was covered in grit and oil nearly up to her elbow, which Clark simply tucked the cordless phone into the crook of her neck as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Caught off guard once again, she shot him a death glare and he shrugged his shoulders.
Holding the phone between her jaw and shoulder, Kara spoke into it. "Yes ma'am." It was less of a question and more of a dull, agitated greeting that still came with an amount of respect the older woman was due.
"Kara honey, I need you to come by and get one of these stubborn ass Longhorns out of the maternity pens out here- he's gone and gotten himself stuck, the poor thing."
"Mama—" Kara sighed to catch the frustration in her voice. "Have you called Mr. Edge to see if he would be willing to offer any help to keep his livestock over on his side of the property line?"
"Ohh- I don't want to bother Morgan. Can you just come on down? He's out here braying like a burned mule- bless his heart." Eliza pleaded with Kara, leaving her no possible way to say no.
Kara's jaw clenched with the bitter practice of being expected to act like they hadn't shouted at each other the last time they spent more than ten minutes together. "Alright. I'll be there in a bit, just… stay away from him."
"Thank you, baby." She heard Eliza say before she let the phone drop into her lap.
The muffled sounds of giggles and small sighs played on a loop in Kara's memories as the wheels of her pickup rumbled over the cattle grid and onto Danvers Ranch. She'd get this last favor taken care of and head home to climb into bed. Kara only wished that a certain dark-haired, Irish-lilted lass would be there waiting for her, but that was often a fantasy she pulled herself out of and left her feeling as silly as all get-out. Bemoaning her lack of courage to just call the woman who stole away every fleeting ounce of a free thought that lived between her ears, Kara groaned and pulled the steering wheel of her truck toward the empty cattle pens that sat on the northeast pasture. Sure enough, Kara eventually pulled up alongside a Longhorn steer branded with a circular 'E' that seemed to be stuck by the horns in the bars of one of the calving pens.
Satisfied with her assessment that he'd not been trapped long, Kara drove the truck back around to the stables and saddled up Lucky Duckling, the foal who Kara had saved from drowning and to whom she affectionately referred to as 'Ducky'. Now grown into a beautiful thoroughbred, Ducky decidedly did not have the temperament for racing but was pleased as punch just to be a ranch horse for everyday duties. Kara was secretly glad for this; She was fond of Ducky as a friend and not so much on the idea of selling him.
With Ducky tacked and ready, she grabbed a nylon lariat off a hook from the inside of the barn before riding out to untangle and escort the steer back onto Edge land. Kara knew Longhorns to be the most docile of cattle and were only known to be aggressive in times of great stress or danger. Though, Kara surmised by the way the steer was bellowing as they approached that he was indeed stressed. She readied the lariat around the horn of Ducky's saddle and climbed down, careful to give the back end of the large beast a wide berth. Once inside the pen and standing on the other side of where the steer was hooked, Kara was able to take the end of one of his horns and pull downward with all her might to level the span of them through the bars. Freed, he kicked and bucked for two turns in the dirt and then stilled with a loud, appreciative snort.
"There ya go…" Kara said, pulling her arm around in a wide circle to round out her shoulder. Mama definitely could'na done that on her own, the blonde thought silently to herself as she made her way back to Ducky. Once in the saddle again, she circled the lariat in a loop over her head a few times and lassoed the steer by a horn on the first throw. Pulling the rope taut, she rolled her hips forward in the saddle with an additional click of her tongue and began escorting the longhorn all the way back through the fence where it had fallen at the Edge property line. The young steer seemed unbothered enough by the pull of the rope and was content to mosey alongside them. Kara decided to walk him in further onto neighboring land to give herself enough time to at least attempt to pull the fence back up on her way out... At least just enough to keep out any more curious cattle. She'd have to eventually come back and fix it properly, just like with so many other things.
The first outbuilding in sight was an equipment shed, one which Kara regularly witnessed farm machines like threshers and various tractor attachments go in and out of from a distance from her bedroom window. Back then they had seemed so small and far away, even as a child. But now, having come closer than ever before, she saw a man in a jean shirt and brown gambler standing in front of the wide door to the shed. He stared at her hard with crossed arms over his chest. Kara squinted, shielded her eyes from the sun with a raised hand to get a better look…
Morgan Edge.
Goosebumps pricked along on her forearms in an instant, and it was at that moment that she decided she had walked the steer in far enough. Kara slacked the lariat immediately and looped it off his horn with a twist of her wrist. Not wanting to trespass any longer, she pulled Ducky's left rein open to turn him tight and back toward the other direction. She then heeled him into a trot as she drew in the length of the lariat trailing behind them.
Morgan Edge was certainly not admired for his friendly demeanor by many in town. He was in fact a bulldog when it came to business, and usually got what he wanted by whatever means necessary. He prospered in real estate, as well as "ornamental" livestock, and had been known to prefer to sell his longhorn bulls as rodeo stock, where they were priced higher than what slaughterhouses were willing to pay for their marbled beef.
It was because of Morgan Edge that Kara had fits of panic attacks and night terrors as she grew older, which every time she had the misfortune of laying her eyes on him, she found that they came back for a spell… though they would eventually pass after a few exhausting days and nights. Her nightmares haunted her with the screams from that chaotic night so many years ago, and even sometimes it was her being dragged down the stairs by her hair. Thrashing herself awake with a shout usually meant that Alex was awake just a second later and was scrambling wildly in the night to reach Kara where she shook with a cold sweat in her bed. It had to have been at least six months straight of that right after Alex's father passed, yet there she was bursting into her room every single night to calm her still.
Kara had become lost in her thoughts again as she bounced softly in her saddle. Not realizing that Ducky had steered them toward the main house and away from the stables, Kara heard a high-pitched beeping noise and saw that there was a small plume of smoke billowing into the sky
Fire…?
Immediately stricken with panic, Kara sprang her hips out of the saddle and urged Ducky forward into a gallop. "Hah!"
It's a wonder he was so stubborn in an arena but when Kara was frightened, he ran like the wind without complaint. Soon she was pulling at his reins and leaping onto the ground to bolt around the corner of the house into a sprint.
"Mama!" Kara screamed as she climbed up the steps of the porch and shot through the front door. Thick, gray, acrid smelling smoke burned her eyes as she rushed into the house. She stomped into the dining room and covered her mouth and nose with her shirt, then she moved into the kitchen next.
"Mama where are you!" She shouted again over the blaring repetitive screech of a smoke alarm. From where she stood in the kitchen now, blinking painfully through the smoke, Kara could see flames licking their way out of the oven through its exploded door. Whatever was inside had caught fire and was hot enough to burst the glass door of the oven outward and onto the kitchen floor.
She grabbed the fire extinguisher from where she knew it rested in the food pantry and put out the blaze in the oven quickly. Once safe, Kara opened all the windows in the kitchen and then stepped back out onto the front porch to cough past the burnt fumes which singed her airway. Not a moment later, Ducky was stamping agitatedly into the ground with a hoof as Eliza slowly jogged up the main drive as fast as her old bones could take her.
"Kara! What in the world!?" Eliza yelled.
Kara spotted her and flew down the steps. She hugged Eliza, sending whispered praises and thanks into the sky above. "What are you doing?!" Kara asked as she took Eliza by the shoulders firmly and stared directly into her eyes. "Are you cooking?"
Eliza looked puzzled for a moment. "This morning I was! I baked cookies for the Sunday school… Let go of me!"
Kara released her, and her heart plummeted. "You got cookies in the oven now, Mama- did you forget about them in there? And it's Tuesday for heaven's sakes!"
Eliza sputtered for an answer and dismissed Kara's frantic questioning with a wave of her hand. "That damn oven has been on its way out for ten years..." The older woman trailed off.
Kara was shocked that Eliza had simply forgotten about her oven being in use, but she stayed long enough to help the older woman sweep up the dark glass from the floor and made sure that she was settled. Talking seemed to irritate the oldest Danvers woman no matter what was said, so Kara eventually left her with a peck on the cheek before heading home for the day. It occurred to her that she needed desperately to pick up the phone and tell someone about what had happened and of course it was Lena whom she thought of first, but in this case, Kara figured it was a better conversation shared with her sister.
Later that night, Kara's phone buzzed on her nightstand. No one else but Lena would be calling her this late, so she nearly threw herself out of her bed by an arm when she swung to reach and answer it. Catching herself before she ended up on the floor, Kara answered and hoisted herself back onto the mattress of her bed in one fell swoop. "There she is."
A tired sigh from the other end that sounded much like relief. "Here I am." Lena's voice made Kara feel dizzy, as she had ached these past few days for the sounds of those dulcet tones.
"How's everything been?" Kara asked.
Another sigh. "Exhausting. Apparently, there is so much custom before business in China. It's pleasant, but I'm eager to get home. My flight leaves this afternoon—" Lena paused for a moment before she continued, "I miss you… and I want to see you."
This was breaking new ground between them, as words of such affectionate nature were usually shared in-person and oftentimes in between feverish kissing. They hit Kara right in her chest where her fast-beating heart was caged.
"I miss you too." Kara replied, and chose to continue with, "Where do you want me?"
There was a sharp inhale of breath heard from the other side of the phone as if Lena had suddenly sucked the air through the thin space of her teeth, and then a low and satisfied hum followed.
"Mmm."
That made Kara's stomach start doing backflips, oh but in the best way.
"I'll come to you." Lena said finally.
"I'd love that." Kara added quickly, her heart rate rising rapidly. "Where are you?"
"Still in my hotel in Beijing, unfortunately. But it's gorgeous, I wish you could see it."
Kara thought on that for a moment. "I'd rather see you."
Before she knew it, Kara was tapping open an incoming request to share video on her screen. Lena was lying back on the plush comforter of the bed in her room. The side of her face was illuminated by the low light of a lamp next to her. "I'd rather you be here."
"You'd miss your flight if I was there."
Lena's eyebrows raised suggestively at that. "Oh really? What would you be doing to keep me so occupied?"
Kara felt like she had a choice to make. Go for it and risk divulging how much she feels for the other woman… or play it off and wait to see her in person. At least up until now it was often safer just to let their bodies do the talking, but she could only do so much through a phone.
Why the hell not?
"Well, first of all—" Kara began, "It's what we would be doing… And secondly, you wouldn't be layin' like that on your bed there."
Lena didn't miss a beat with that. "How would I be laying?"
"You'd be on your stomach…" Kara replied lowly. Her hands felt like they needed to squeeze around something, but she ended up just clenching one into a fist at her side. "And I would be behind you."
Lena took her phone and switched her front camera to landscape, propping it up against the lamp on the table. It spanned the length of her from head to toe, and Kara scarcely caught a gasp when Lena revealed what she was wearing: A satin teddy with a flattering ruffle just below her hip bones… and nothing else. Lena turned over in the bed to lay flat on her stomach then and bent her knees to swing her ankles up in the air behind her. Her arms stretched out lazily in front of her as she mewled with a soft hint of pride. She was on full display for Kara, and the blonde was suddenly extremely glad for answering the phone and not having fallen asleep yet.
Kara smiled. "Did you wear that just for me?"
"I did."
"I want to take it off with my teeth." Kara said, tapping her T's in that way that coiled Lena's insides tightly.
Lena mewled again quietly and arched her back, biting her bottom lip. "Tell me what to do, daddy."
The name rocked Kara to her bones, and she was in an instant the most turned on she had ever been in her life. She was familiar with the wordplay kink but had never found herself in a situation where someone dared to use it with her. Her confidence skyrocketed. Kara accepted the role without a second thought and suddenly knew exactly what she wanted to say in every moment that followed. She committed to every word.
"Bring up your knees a little bit."
Lena did.
"Lift your ass in the air."
Lena did.
"Put your face in the pillow."
Lena did.
"Now turn your head and look at me."
Lena's eyes were amorous and heavy, with her mouth slightly parted from the slack of her jaw. She leaned back slightly and rolled her hips in the air playfully.
"You look so beautiful." Kara said as she admired Lena's flexible form with great detail.
"Thank you, daddy."
Kara reeled at the name again. Her heart felt like it was a few beats away from exploding out from behind her ribs. She wanted to make Lena come undone with just her words, and if she could do that, then she truly felt like she could do anything.
"Use your hand- but it's my hand, okay?" Kara instructed. "And close your eyes for me."
Lena nodded and closed her eyes just as she was told. She then ran a hand flat along the comforter of the bed up to her knee, sliding it further up her thigh before finally coming to rest in between her legs. She bit her lip to hold a whimper, but Kara still managed to hear it.
"Do the circles like I do them, baby."
Lena whimpered again, and her face instantly contorted with pleasure. After a moment, her features went smooth again as if a wave of relief washed over her. Her brow raised high, and her lips fell open against the pillow.
"Now move your hips like I know you want to."
Lena responded immediately, "Yes, daddy." The raven-haired woman began to undulate slowly back and forth as her fingers circled her entrance.
"Are you wet for me, darlin'?" Kara asked.
Lena nodded again eagerly. "So wet. I want you inside me."
Kara felt a tightness grow deep between her legs. She thought she might actually climax just by watching Lena reach hers.
"One finger, your middle one." Kara ordered.
Lena bit the corner of her lip into her teeth again in an attempt to conceal a low moan as her finger slipped inside with ease. Her hips bucked and rocked backward down onto her hand, then she drew it out and repeated.
Kara watched her for several long moments as Lena continued to bite her lip and roll her hips in the air back and forth.
"Oh Kara…" The words escaped Lena as if they were a matter of life or death, their imperativeness falling heavy on Kara's ears. Lena's legs began to shake and the small moans she emitted grew faster in tempo.
"Add another." Kara was dying to see Lena split open and disheveled from this perspective and chose not to make her wait any longer. The fist at her side grabbed the sheet that was cloaked around her in an effort to anchor herself somehow.
The expression on Lena's face signaled to Kara that she had pushed another finger inside and the shaking of her legs quickly began to intensify. Her breaths came in quick gasps now as she continued to rock backwards onto an invisible Kara. Lena's free hand gathered the bedclothes into tight, curled fingers and pulled at them desperately.
"I'm gonna cum- I'm…" As soon as the words left Lena's mouth, her hips jutted sharply onto her fingers, once, twice, then three times as she orgasmed with a long, shuddered moan that rose from deep within her. Kara silently writhed with her, riding her own release and choking back groans that stuck halfway up her throat.
They breathed heavily together for several minutes; these tender moments after sex being what Kara craved the most but had not yet found the courage to tell the other woman. She craved the unspoken affections that were gifted to her when Lena would nuzzle her face into her neck and breathe her in deeply there through her nose. The way she would run a tired hand over her chest and up to her neck, or when she would cradle Kara's jawbone in her small hands, even the way she kissed her afterward… Oh, when she kissed her…
"I can't wait to see you again." Kara figured she would jump right over the surprising yet thoroughly enjoyable wordplay in an effort to delay the impending shift in atmosphere, now that they were spent and out of breath. She wanted to bask in Lena's warm and comfortable sighs just a little while longer.
Lena hummed with a shared sentiment, "Let's go back to the ocean."