Summary: Narcissa had hope she could pursue a life unbinded by family rules, but that dream came crashing down.
Rated: T
Genre: Friendship
Competition/Challenge Block
Written For: Monthly Challenges for All (Year 6); Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition (Season 10)
Quidditch: Wigtown Wanderers - Keeper (The lingering question kept me up,
2am, who do you love?)
MC4A: Ship War (Narcissa Malfoy/Kingsley Shacklebolt - n/a [SpMic1 (Soulmate/Mark); SpMed2 (Hugging); SpMed1 (Secret; Matchmaker; Accidental Confession)]; ShipB (1B [Love Triangle]); SpB (2E [Bare]); TrB (4D [Soul Marks]); Hunt (Sp WD [Black]; Sp Set [Nightmare]); Chim (Sylvie [Kind-Hearted; Emerald])
Beta: StarrAngelofNarnia
Word Count: 1,964
Warning Tag: Canon-Typical Pureblood Selfishness & Bigotry
Enchanting
The lingering question kept me up,
2am, who do you love?
— Enchanted, Taylor Swift
.oOo.
Narcissa was not like the other girls who liked to giggle and whisper about boys and the latest makeup lines or hair products. Sure, her appearance did matter to her, but she also cared about her studies, which was a rarity in her family. She would never admit it if anyone asked, but Narcissa secretly wanted to do something different from what was expected of her. Being a smart female was never a concern when it came to the House of Black, the only thing that mattered and the sole responsibility of the women was to improve the family status, political power, and produce heirs with other respectable families. The men had the option to pursue careers, but most simply took over estates and old wealth and let the well-oiled machine keep going without having a care in the world.
Such a wasted opportunity, she always thought.
The most Narcissa could do prior to her school years was to be well-read, which was only possible because of her ability to hide in the large libraries from various homes during family visits. This was easy because being the youngest of three allowed her parents to focus less on her and more on her sister's futures. She was, after all, the last ditch attempt for a proper male heir, and so was left to her own devices once all her daily obligations were met. This also gave her a slim chance to fall through the cracks, presenting her the opportunity to explore other options.
Her pre-school tutoring was minimal when it came to academics, instead she had memorized every type of cutlery and their uses, how to hold a tea cup, wine glass, and pour liquor without splashing, spilling, or overfilling by the time she was nine. Even learning how to sit, how to speak, and how to look was important, so she was quite sick of it by the time she was of school age. All she had when she arrived at Hogwarts was useless knowledge of family history (which wasn't actually useless, she decided later), a bag of mixed books (school and otherwise), and a head full of stories and dreams.
Finally being at school allowed Narcissa the freedom to really dig deep into academics. She took every class seriously, taking extensive notes and listening intently to every teacher. This, naturally, had her sister Bellatrix heckle her about being a bookworm and teacher's pet and gave empty threats about tattling to their parents about it. On the other end of things, Andromeda encouraged her dedication to her schooling and lack of concern about attracting suitors.
But even if Narcissa had no interest in catching anyone's eye, it happened anyway. It was hard to be fully invisible when she bore such a reputable surname. Rebutting advances was quite easy, at least.
"My fair Narcissa," Rabastan said one evening in the common room, ignoring the fact she was in the middle of an essay, "why not accompany me by the fire rather than bother yourself with such rubbish?"
"Rubbish you say?" Narcissa replied, "it is not as rubbish as you attempting to woo me. My parents will never consider you a suitor. Especially when your brother is betrothed to my sister."
He handwaved her words away. "You know nothing about the politics behind it. I'm sure they'd, at the very least, entertain a request."
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I know enough that my family has been quite particular about who is to be married into the House of Black. Purity is a priority, but the lesson you seemed to have forgotten to learn about genealogy is that when too few families mingle it causes problems." She paused to dip her quill. "Seems like the Lestranges missed that footnote."
This was enough to make the young man shrink away and retreat. She may have a strongly worded letter sent from her parents in the next few days as a result of such an insult, but she didn't care. The Black family did learn from mistakes of their ancestors—mostly. Her cousins Sirius and Regulus were a product of the lack of options available at the time and was an unfortunate outcome that did risk being matched with Regulus should it be required (though being matched with Nott or Rosier was far more appealing if her parents weren't having a spat with them). It was a difficult problem to fully reverse due to extreme circumstances needed to keep their lineage thriving, but if the family history had any indication of side effects due to it, Bellatrix was a prime example.
Another thing that she had learned early on with genealogy and several stories was that the matching mark theory was nothing but a funny little myth that came from fairytales. No one ever had a true match to these not-so-special marks, but sometimes Narcissa wished it were true, only for it to help eliminate the obligation of matchmaking all together and allow fate to decide instead. She rather liked her own birthmark, where most just saw an ugly discolored patch of skin on her wrist, she saw a crown perched on what looked like a narcissus. But because of its location and the comments of ugliness, she often concealed it with makeup.
Her studious nature didn't get recognized or receive positive attention by a lot of her peers or housemates, driving her to retreat to the farthest parts of the library during whatever freetime Narcissa had to continue on with her passion for academics. It was her only chance to dabble in something she truly loved before her life was likely decided for her. Of course, if Bellatrix and Andromeda's betrothals followed through, then Narcissa wouldn't be a thought in her family's minds anymore. Having two daughters marry to the Lestrange and Malfoy families was quite the achievement, so whoever would be a candidate for Narcissa wouldn't even compare nor really matter. She would be lying if she said she wasn't just a little bit jealous of Andromeda's match to Lucius, he was quite flattering and easy to look at, but Narcissa knew her place and kept their meeting strictly formal. Instead, she reveled in the idea of being free to do whatever she liked so long as it kept the House of Black in a good light. Unless, of course, no proper heirs came from the matchmakings…
What she never expected was to catch the attention of someone who she had no words to describe with aside from enchanting. He was a Ravenclaw based on his robes' sapphire-blue lining, which matched nicely against his brown skin and eyes and complimented her own emerald-green. He wore an odd looking hat of blues and purples on his head that Narcissa couldn't quite pin the style of, but didn't make it a point to fuss about since it matched his school attire. He was fairly tall, likely a couple years ahead of her, and carried what appeared to be a full school bag on his shoulder, something she could easily relate to.
"Pardon my interruption, but may I study here with you?" he asked politely and with an accent she was unfamiliar with. "This is the least disturbed area of the library, as I am sure you know."
Narcissa offered a small smile and nodded. "You may."
"Thank you," he said and took a seat opposite her.
She barely noticed him at first, which was pleasant. He was quiet and kept to himself, a rarity among her male housemates. But as their encounters became more frequent, she grew hyper aware of his presence, making it difficult to ignore him and keep her interest and curiosity of him in check, which soon became a distraction. Yet, it was a nice distraction, to say the least, and they soon found themselves meeting at the same table tucked away in the back corner of the library more and more often to study. They even occasionally exchanged small talk and some homework help.
Narcissa learned that his name was Kingsley Shacklebolt and was two years her senior. His dream was to be an auror and perhaps even a minister in his home country of Nigeria someday. She shared very little in return due to the risk of her secrets and dreams being exposed to her family, but he never pried or questioned her more reserved attitude.
This friendship developed over the years, much to Narcissa's surprise. She found herself lowering her guard more and more with Kingsley, offering him more insights of her life and her goals. Seeing him at Bellatrix's wedding was even unexpected, but after learning about his parents' heavy involvement with the ministry, it not only helped ease her worries about befriending him, but also gave her the confidence that her parents would accept him should something more develop between them.
This dream, however, was very short lived. Narcissa didn't fully realize her feelings for Kingsley until the chance was snatched away from her. Barely starting her fifth year, her future crumbled when she learned that Andromeda had disappeared with a muggleborn. Her wedding to Lucius was set for spring break, as she would have been of age by then and everyone would be available to attend. This enraged Narcissa for a good number of reasons; not only did her sister ruin her life with her selfish actions, she ruined hers as well. Everything Narcissa strived for at Hogwarts was rendered useless because of Andromeda's feelings for a nobody.
She was unable to sleep, her mind filled with a whirlwind of questions and concerns and doubts and her very own feelings for everything. It wasn't until she found herself sitting on the stairs to the Ravenclaw tower crying in the middle of the night that she finally came to terms with her new life. She couldn't be another mistake to her family, not after Andromeda and now Sirius…
This was how Kingsley found her after coming back in from Head Boy duties late in the night.
"What is wrong, Narcissa?" he asked, always so gentle and kind.
He even sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. This action only made her cry more.
She poured her soul out then, telling him about the scandal her sister and cousin pulled and that everything she was working towards was over.
"But it doesn't have to be," he assured, offering a light squeeze on her shoulder. "You are capable of anything."
She shook her head, using the handkerchief he offered to dab her eyes and face.
"It is not so simple. I am to be betrothed to Lucius, there is no way around it."
"Perhaps I could request a proposal—"
"It will not be considered. My family has had betrothals and promises arranged since before I was even born. It is how things are. It is how things have to be."
Narcissa leaned into Kingsley's warm embrace then, happy yet still sad that he was willing to request for her hand—a confession neither one dared to voice until now. He was far from traditional in the pureblood customs, but it was nice to know that he knew enough to try. Being so close to him had her quickly notice a birthmark on his neck. It looked exactly like hers—a crown perched upon a narcissus. She knew admitting her feelings now would be pointless, a secret she would forever have to bare. But even though she did fancy Lucius, another secret she held until she no longer needed to, she was far closer to Kingsley than she likely would ever be with him. And that, she knew, would haunt her for the rest of her life.