Chapter Thirty-Five: Raid Vaziri
Present day
Outskirts of Albemarle, NC
Of all the ways Raid expected to react when he walked into Stef's room, he did not expect himself to react the way he did. After letting him inside, Stef had walked into the centre of the room, turned to face him, dropped her hip, crossed her arms, and raised an eyebrow. She was already preparing for a fight. So he did something he probably shouldn't have done. He immediately laughed.
Stef wasn't prepared for his reaction. "What's so funny?" she asked, drawing her chin inwards, her eyebrows coming together like he'd just lost his sanity.
At least she now looked confused. Raid was still trying to work out his own inside joke as he said between bouts of laughter, "You just... your expression... the way you're standing..." He lost his breath as his laughter overtook him.
Self-consciously, Stef uncrossed her arms and shuffled herself into a more open, relaxed pose. "What was wrong with the way I was standing?"
"Nothing if I was being sent to the principal's office." Raid was buckled over, his hands on his knees, trying to force his laughter to subside. He finally managed to push himself upright after taking a deep breath.
"Unlike you, I wouldn't know," she drawled, rolling her eyes.
She was right about that. Maybe the laughter had been evoked by a flashback, but if he was on a mission to find out what he loved about her right now, it certainly wasn't going to be because she resembled his old, grumpy-ass teachers. "You're always on your guard. Don't you ever just relax?" Suddenly he had an idea. He walked forward, taking her by the arm, guiding her until she sat down on the corner of the bed. He knelt behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders.
She immediately jolted forward, turning her head. "What are you doing?"
He replaced his hands on her shoulders, forcing her back towards him. "What did I just say about being on your guard?"
This time she didn't resist, she simply pouted. "I'm not always like that."
He felt her shoulders briefly tense as he massaged his thumbs into her muscles, but the tension melted away as quickly as it arrived. "With my help, you won't be," he said. Perhaps it was any excuse to have his hands on her, but the moment she sighed and dropped her head back, giving in to his touch, he couldn't help but crank up his skill level. He used his magic to heat up his hands. He smiled as her sigh became a grateful, gentle hum of submission to him. "Talk to me," he said.
Her eyes closed, she spoke like she was in a trance, her soft voice too captivated by his hands roaming over her shoulders. "Mmm, what about?"
"You."
"You already know me."
He swept her hair over her shoulder, stroking his hands up along her neck, his fingers slipping underneath the chain of her daylight necklace. He noticed it had two clasps, reducing the risk of it breaking and falling off. She really was cautious. "I've missed a lot." He looked around at her face, a blissful smile painted on it. He hoped he wasn't about to ruin it. "Aren't you missing a lot too? Don't you miss Mystic Falls? Your parents?"
"I see them sometimes. Briefly. I can't risk seeing them too often."
There was that word again: risk. "Phoenix said you haven't told them you're a vampire."
Stef opened her eyes, sighing. It was not a sigh of pleasure this time. "They have a terrible history with vampires. I'm not as strong as my mother. So many died protecting her life. I wouldn't survive losing anyone I loved."
"You're stronger than you think," Raid reassured her, his fingers working their way towards Stef's collarbone, sliding against the neckline of her top but not venturing under it. "Besides, you're already losing them by not seeing them. You're just making the choice to lose them."
"It keeps them safe," Stef justified.
"But does it make them happy?" he asked. "Does it make you happy?"
"No, but finding out I'm a vampire wouldn't make them happy either."
"They'd get over it." Raid couldn't resist bringing his hands up, back along her neck, towards her head, stroking through her hair, the comforting smell of jasmine and orange blossom releasing as he massaged through the strands with his fingertips. "Avoiding them will make them miserable their whole lives."
When Stef pulled forward, nervous about the direction of their conversation, Raid put his hands back on her shoulders, kneading her muscles firmly to keep her in place. She then suspected he was using this tactic to keep her relaxed. It was working. Working so well she didn't care. His hands felt amazing on her. Still, her voice became tighter even if her body didn't. "So would trying to protect me – that's if it didn't get them killed. You don't think my father would charge into a fight with the Coven just like you do?"
Raid considered that an interesting comparison. Was his impulsive behaviour reminding her of her father? "Tell me something. Do you think all those who died protecting your mother died honorably? Do you not think they would make the exact same choice all over again?"
Stef wasn't sure if Raid was winning with his hands or his words now. "I guess," she muttered.
"Then stop gatekeeping honor."
Stef's eyes widened. Raid was definitely winning with his words. So much so, that she pulled away, standing up to face him as he remained seated on the bed. "I'm not gatekeeping honor!"
"You'd be willing to die for your friends, but you won't let them do the same for you? I'd call that gatekeeping honor."
"That's different, I'm not..."
"You're not what? Worth it?" Raid stood, waiting for an answer that didn't come. There wasn't enough time in the world to explain to her all the ways she was worth it. "I was wrong when I said I didn't care about the risks of being close to you. I know the risks and I accept them because there's not a single consequence that would be worse than being out of your life again."
"Not even if you died for me?"
Perhaps his hands were still yearning to touch her because he couldn't prevent them from reaching up and cupping her cheeks gently. He brought his face closer to hers. "It would be my fucking honor." He held her, watching her breathing deepen. He caught her eyes glisten with tears she was holding back. Her lips pinching together with all the strength she had not to weaken at his words. He knew they meant something to her. He knew that he meant something to her.
Phoenix wasn't wrong when he said Raid was still in love with the person Stef used to be... because she was still in there. She was in there wanting to be loved, wanting to be vulnerable, wanting to be protected, wanting to feel what it was like to be human again. But Raid loved her new power and determination too. It was keeping her safe in a dangerous world that she didn't want to be part of – and he needed that for her. He knew he could never protect her as well as she could protect herself. He couldn't be her strength, but he could be the fuel for her strength. He could give her whatever she needed if she would just let him.
"Feed on me," he whispered, releasing his hands. It was his final request. He wouldn't ask again. He had to respect whatever decision she made.
"It's not that easy," she said, looking down.
It wasn't a refusal. "Why?" he asked. Somehow he would make it easy.
She stepped back, a sad smirk on her face as she waved her hand up and down in his direction, her tone trying but failing at being stubborn. "Well, logistically, you're too tall. I can't even reach your neck."
Raid smiled. She knew that wouldn't stop him, but she didn't suspect how he would resolve that. That was evident from her squeals as he grabbed her behind her thighs, lifted her up and planted her on top of the high dresser. Perfect height. He looked at her astonished expression smugly. "Better?"
Stef scrambled for excuses. "Your top – the neckline's too high."
It was no higher than the one he had worn in the parking lot. She really was trying to offer him every opportunity to pull out of this commitment. Not going to happen. He grabbed the neckline from the back and pulled his top over his head, throwing it aside. "Better?"
Stef sucked in a breath, instantly captivated by the sight in front of her. He was full of surprises. Tanned, muscular, with abs leading to a tempting V-line beneath his waistband. His smooth, soft skin looked like a complete contrast to the hardness underneath it. Before she realized what she was doing, she reached out with her hand, stroking her fingers momentarily against his chest, curious to know if he felt the way she was imagining he felt. He watched her every movement, every reaction.
Within a second, she recognized what she was doing and recoiled her hand in embarrassment. "I... I'm sorry."
There was no hesitation. Raid took her hand and placed it back on him. "Don't be," he whispered. He removed his hand that was pressing her to him, and was pleased when she kept hers there, right above his heart where he needed her touch to be. "No boundaries. Do whatever you want to me."
An amused smile formed on Stef's lips and she raised an eyebrow at him. "Anything?" she joked sceptically.
He remained completely serious, lowering his eyes at her. "Anything," he repeated.
She bit her lip, the invitation tempting. She had to remind herself why they were doing this. They weren't together. This was a friend helping a friend, wasn't it? But the intense look in his eyes kept telling her that it was far beyond that. So when he put his hands on her knees, parting her legs to move closer into her, she was ready to give up everything, to expose her soul to him, to divulge the secret she had wanted to protect him from. She needed to tell him how she felt. She couldn't let this happen without him knowing.
Except he got there first.
"Stef, I need to tell you something."
Whatever it was he wanted to tell her, he looked torn. Stef wasn't imagining it, was she? Did he feel the same way? Is that what he wanted to tell her? She held her breath.
"When you feed on me, it makes me feel the exact same way you do – exactly the same. I don't want it to change anything, I just needed you to know that."
Stef exhaled in a huff, withdrawing her hand from his chest. She looked up at him from below her brows, her eyelids twitching in suspicion. No, he was definitely done. That's all he had to say. "That's it?!" she blurted. "You thought I didn't already know that?"
He knew there was the possibility she would be annoyed, but he was not expecting her to say that. "H-how? I was quiet about it!"
"You were not quiet," Stef scoffed with derision. "Does this sound quiet to you?" She placed her hand over her mouth to mimic the muffled attempt at staying quiet he did in the parking lot, then proceeded to moan loudly and heavily through her nose, her noises getting louder with each breath, culminating in a suppressed scream. Finally she removed her hand. "You were louder than me!" she accused.
Raid's mouth hung agape. He had been caught up in the moment. He didn't know he'd sounded like that. "Glad that's a core memory for you. So, what? We're not going to do this now?"
"Oh, we're going to do this," she confirmed. "It would be hilarious to hear that again."
"Fine," he blurted. Then he stormed his way into her adjoining bathroom.
"Where are you going?" she asked in surprise.
There was a rattle from the bathroom, then he came out with a thick wrapping of toilet paper around his hand, which he then shoved down beneath his waistband, adjusting it around his groin. "Since you already know exactly what I went through, do you have any idea how much jizz you left staining my pants the last time? I'm not going through that again."
Stef clapped her hands over her mouth, rocking back and forth on the dresser, laughing loudly. She couldn't contain herself.
"I'm thrilled you think it's so funny," he grumbled.
She waved one hand, gesturing him towards her, the other still covering up her laughter. As Raid approached, he noticed how she automatically spread her legs for him to resume his position between them, her hand now patting down on his bare chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. She lost all her apprehension and he couldn't help but smile at that.
Her laughter came to a slow end. "I'm sorry," she said, uncovering her mouth and placing her other hand on his chest like both belonged there. She felt more at ease knowing he recognized how awkward this was between them. It wasn't just her who was nervous. It wasn't just her who stood to be embarrassed.
Raid tried for an authoritative tone, but his beaming smile was giving him away. "You done? Because if you laugh like that when you feed on me, my neck's going to end up looking like a pin cushion."
He wasn't helping with ending her laughter. She lowered her head, tittering again through her teeth, before taking a deep breath and biting her lip to prevent further laughter. "I'm done," she exhaled, returning his smile while meeting his eyes.
"Good," he stated. Though that wasn't true; he loved seeing her laugh. "I'll try to not make as much noise this time."
Stef's smile faltered, his pledge making her feel uneasy. "Don't," she uttered quietly. "I liked it. It... helped."
Those words. Those words were what made Raid realize that Stef wanted it all: the whole experience all over again. It was no longer just about the feeding, it was about the pleasure that came with it. She wanted this to happen with him. If she pretended she was ashamed of it, she wasn't. She wasn't going to hold back... and he was going to help her get there.
"Whatever you need," he promised her. "Just do me one thing. Transition now. I want to see it."
Stef suddenly felt self-conscious. She didn't even like seeing herself transition. What was he doing asking for that? "Why do you want to see it?"
"Because it's part of who you are now," he said, stroking her hair behind her ears, stopping her from forcing her hair in front of her face, which she was already attempting to do. "I want to know all of you. I want to see all of you."
He knew she wasn't proud of what she was. She didn't hide it but she also didn't deliberately put herself on display for others to judge her. Except Raid had a right to judge her. This is what would be feeding on him. So, as she felt her blood draw upwards towards her eyes, veins protruding, fangs forming, she waited for that judgement. Waited for him to change his mind about this. About her.
But he didn't.
He leaned in, bringing his face close to hers, whispering, "You are so beautiful, Stefanie. All of you."
He didn't allow her surprise to linger for too long. He wanted her mouth on him. He placed a hand behind her back, easing her forward until she was pressed up against him. Then he offered her his neck. Her lips lingered on his neck for a brief second before he felt her mouth open.
Then her teeth entered him.
Sensations flooded him, going from zero to a hundred in milliseconds. His other hand slammed against the wall behind her, holding himself upright. He already felt like he was losing the ability to stand as the pleasure shot through him. Stef cried out, muffled against his neck, and he pulled her more tightly into him.
"Ah, fuck, Stef!" he moaned, tucking his head into her neck, needing to be as close to her as possible.
His body was a pinball machine. A thousand balls of bliss tingling their way through his system, not knowing where they would hit next in multiple bursts of ecstasy. All he knew is that each one fell in timing to Stef's cries. It was the sound of her setting him off over and over again. It was knowing his blood was entering her, making her feel the same way, that had his cock harder than he had ever felt in his life.
Her hand went from his chest to the back of his neck, gripping him tightly, her nails digging into him as though her body was ready to give way at any second. There was no pain from where she was feeding from him. It was the source of the zipline of pleasure radiating through him. His world had become heavenly, she was the goddess at the center of it all, and he was ready to fall, beg and worship at her feet for this feeling to continue.
"Don't stop, Stef, please don't stop," he breathed, his lips brushing her neck. God, he wanted to kiss her, he wanted to touch her. His own fingers were curling into her back now, trying to root themselves in place, the urge to touch her everywhere becoming out of control.
The sensation was building, thick and heavy, feeling like there was a beast within him about to be unleashed. Stef had been right about trying to avoid this. This was far more intense than what he had felt before. All he could think about was his hands exploring her body, his mouth everywhere, his tongue tasting every inch of her.
His hand crept down her back until it reached the hem of her top. Just a touch. Just skin on skin. He felt he would die without it. The pressure within him was building. He could hear his own pulse racing in his ears. Just one touch. He slid his hand underneath her top, across her bare back.
Instantly, Stef emitted a loud moan, reaching back, pulling his hand away.
No, no, no, no! Fuck, no, he needed this! He needed to feel her. He needed –
She yanked his arm forwards, between their bodies, forcing his hand between her open legs.
Fuck, yes!
He felt the warmth through the crotch of her pants, the dip of his fingers between her lower lips, and he rubbed against the material until she was panting against his neck, licking almost lifelessly at the blood pooling there. The pressure building inside them both was leaving them spent, but, fuck, they couldn't stop even if the world ended. She was joining him, grinding herself up against his hand, and he was almost at breaking point.
"Keep going, baby, keep going," he urged. He didn't care what he'd just called her. He didn't care what she thought of it. Right now she was his. She was his love, she was his pleasure, she was his everything.
With a final attempt to release them both from the high they felt they would die in, Stef latched on again with her teeth.
Then her scream of pleasure followed his own.
They didn't care who heard. They were trapped here, purging themselves of their own high with an even bigger one, over and over, feeling like it would never end, until ultimately the sounds that followed were their own gasps of relief and disbelief.
Stef eventually collapsed on Raid's shoulder, kissing away all traces of blood while regaining her breath. She was still gripping the back of his neck, finding it hard to let go.
When she finally found the strength to pull herself upright, she also found herself ready to make the confession, her head giddy, her ears ringing, her body still trembling, but now was the time. She had to do this.
She removed her hand from his neck, bringing her eyes up slowly to meet his.
"Raid, I –"
She stopped. Something was different.
His eyes were glazed. The chestnut brown was almost black.
His look was feral. Hungry.
It was Raid, but it wasn't Raid.
Something from the feeding wasn't finished with him.
And it certainly wasn't finished with her.
"Oh, fuck!" she shouted, and used her vampire speed to dash out of the room.