Episode 3x22

"Epiphany"

Sitting in the booth at Granny's, telling her parents and Henry about her adventure in the past, Emma was happier than she could ever remember being before.

It was not the relief and gratitude that she felt pretty much every time she survived a harrowing adventure. This was much more. This was love and belonging, accepting others and being accepted by others.

She finally had a family—loving parents, a baby brother, her son—and for the first time in her life, a feeling of being truly home.

But her parents reminded her, and everyone else at the "coronation" party, of the absence of one important person as they announced the baby's name: Neal. Emma's heart hurt a little at the reminder of her lost love, who had already been on her mind at the beginning and end of her time-traveling adventure.

She was also distinctly aware that someone else was absent—someone who had hardly left her side when she was trapped in the past.

Hook had escorted their fellow escapee into the diner, but then retreated outside rather than joining the rest of the community indoors.

Emma knew Hook was a bit of a loner—that seemed to be one of the things they had in common—but it did not seem right for him to be alone during the celebration, especially after the two of them had shared such success. By correcting the course of events in the past, he had helped to save her life, her parents' love, and her entire family's happiness. He deserved credit for that.

In fact, he deserved credit for a lot of things, which Emma had not really wanted to think about until now.

When they first reunited in New York, and caught up over drinks at her apartment, she had been too overwhelmed with processing her restored memories to thank him for coming or wonder about his reasons for doing so. He had said he came to save her, but she had not been ready to think about what that implied when she had a potential engagement on the one hand and a shot at finding Neal on the other. In the following weeks, she had been too focused on defeating Zelena and determined to return to New York to think about him.

Now … well, she was running out of excuses to avoid thinking about Hook, his feelings, and their relationship.

At times, she had cynically accused Hook of bringing her back out of selfish motives, and even manipulating her choices. Somehow, that would have been easier to deal with than him being honest and noble. But by now, he had done so much for her and her family, and stood alongside them through so many crises and adventures—particularly the one they had just returned from, traveling through the past and saving her family's future—that she could no longer doubt his integrity and loyalty.

Plus, she could not deny the chemistry they had while dancing, nor how easy it was to cooperate with him throughout their journey. They had come a long way from the giant's castle, where she had been too afraid to trust him.

While everyone else continued to talk and make toasts, Emma excused herself as discreetly as she could, and slipped out through the front door.

Hook was the only one in the outdoor seating area, lounging at a table and drinking from his flask. Emma sat next to him, and at first talked about what seemed most natural: the results of their escapade in the past. There was now a picture of them in the storybook—and for some reason, they looked like themselves, undisguised by Rumplestiltskin's glamour spell—and it seemed that despite the detours, the course of events had ultimately unfolded as they had intended.

"Everything's back to normal," Hook affirmed. His smile was wry, but his eyes held something that might have been pride. "You're a bloody hero, Swan."

"So are you," Emma insisted. She knew how incredible it was to say that to Captain Hook, and he himself scoffed at it. But she went on earnestly, "I wanted to thank you, Killian." The use of his real name caught his attention, and Emma held his gaze. "For going back for me in the first place in New York. If you hadn't …" She trailed off, not needing to elaborate on how bad that would have been for her family.

"It was the right thing to do," he said simply.

Another remarkable statement. When they first met—and probably for most of his life—Hook had only ever acted in his own interest, regardless of right or wrong. Of course, in this case, he had had some personal motives as well, but his actions had mainly been for others' benefit, not his own.

"How did you do it?" Emma asked. When they first reunited, they had had other, more pressing things to talk about; but now that the new curse was broken and the Wicked Witch crisis was over, she could afford to be curious. "How did you get to me?"

Hook smiled, and the story came out of him readily, as if he had been waiting for the right moment to tell it. He was actually rather nonchalant about it, even when bragging about his skill as a captain.

The mention of magic beans reminded Emma of some of their earliest adventures. "Those are not easy to come by," she remarked.

Hook glanced away, a strange smile on his face. "They are if you've got something of value to trade."

"And what was that?"

"Why, the Jolly Roger, of course," he replied, meeting her eyes with a broad smile, as though it were obvious.

Emma froze, stunned, and stared intently at him.

In the space of a few seconds, all their shared experiences over the last several weeks were suddenly illuminated in a new light.

Of course she had registered the fact that Hook did not have the Jolly Roger anymore. If he had, they could have sailed from New York to Storybrooke, and he would have been living on the ship rather than renting a room at the inn. But she had simply assumed that he had not found it during their year apart, or had not been able to bring it with him. She had never imagined that he would willingly give it up.

"You traded your ship for me?" she breathed, all trace of banter gone.

Hook had delivered this information with his usual charm; but now his expression became serious, his posture tense, his eyes almost nervous as he held her gaze. He nodded once in answer to her question. "Aye."

That single, solemn syllable spoke volumes.

He believed she was worth it.

Or, put another way, she was worth it to him.

Emma had told Snow, over a year earlier, that she was not used to people putting her first. It had made sense, though, for Snow to do so for her, because Emma was her daughter—and even before finding out about that connection, they had been close friends, and Snow had a caring and generous nature.

Hook, in contrast, had no familial ties or obligations to her, or any of them really. Yet he, at one time the most selfish person she knew, had sacrificed for her.

He had given up his pride and joy, his livelihood, to help her—and had not even told her. He had not held it over her or suggested that she owed him for it. He had not told her about the trade until she pressed him for details.

The whole time she had been grousing about not being able to find a place that felt like home, he had been missing the closest thing he had to a home. He had given up his home so she could return to hers.

In that moment of realization, Emma finally understood that it was not just a crush, or even an infatuation, that Hook had nursed since the time they met. His feelings for her were deeper, more serious, and utterly sincere.

He loved her.

He genuinely loved her.

Enough to let that care extend to her family.

Enough to put her happiness before his own.

Enough to risk everything he had, with no guarantee of his own benefit.

Enough to stand by her and her family as they faced their enemies and protected their people.

Enough to follow her into a portal through time and realms—and she was pretty sure, now, that he had done that intentionally.

Emma had felt attraction and affection toward Hook at times, but she had never allowed those feelings to put down roots or dictate her actions. Now, she felt them more strongly than ever. And this time, she did not fight them.

She had come out here to thank him, but now she knew she was far more indebted to him than she had imagined. No words were adequate to express that enormity.

So instead of speaking, she leaned over and kissed him.

Hook was ready and receptive. His hand came up to cradle her head, his ringed fingers pushing back her hair. Feeling emboldened, Emma slid one hand over his chest and the other behind his head, combing her fingers through his hair.

Somehow, it was different from every other time their lips had touched. Their first kiss had been heated, defiant, and a bit messy, as Emma had thought it was the only time she would ever indulge in that action with him. When he had kissed her in New York, hoping that would restore her memories, she had been too shocked and scared to feel anything else. When she resuscitated him after Zelena tried to drown him, her sole focus had been saving his life. When she kissed his past self, it had been a distraction, fueled by worry about getting their plan to work and preventing the present Hook from being discovered.

This kiss was different from all of them. They were slower, more deliberate, a little tentative, each of them asking and giving in equal measure, with the trust that they could afford to take their time.

This time, Emma was truly able to appreciate everything about the experience of kissing Killian Jones: the softness of his lips, the rum-tinged taste of his mouth, the tenderness of his movements. She let herself feel it all, and did not fight the desire for more—more kisses, more closeness, more Killian.

There was gratitude in this kiss, but also much more: an acceptance of feelings, an acknowledgement of a relationship. It was not a promise—they were not at that point yet—but a suggestion, or an assent, for something new to begin.

They paused at the same moment, long enough for them to look at each other, their foreheads touching. Emma smiled at him, almost sheepishly. Hook did not smile, but looked at her with simple, open adoration.

His fingers pulled through her hair toward her face, holding her chin and jaw lightly. Now that he knew she would welcome it, he leaned in and kissed her again, eager and inviting, but not demanding. Emma responded in kind. She knew he had waited a long time for this, and she finally felt like it was okay to allow it, like he was worthy of it. He had been nothing but patient, loyal, and generous toward her. And anyway—there was no point pretending otherwise—she liked kissing him.

It was impossible to tell how much time passed. They might have been there a minute, or ten, or thirty. Each time they parted, they sought each other again, and found each other in a new way.

Finally, Hook pulled back and put some distance between them, his hand resting on her neck. "Was that another 'one-time thing'?" he murmured.

Emma smiled. "No," she assured him. "I take that back."

He smiled back at her, huffing with satisfaction. "Good." His expression held more happiness than she had ever seen in him. Not playfulness, not amusement, not irony. Just genuine joy.

Emma also felt happy, for reasons entirely separate from their return or the celebration going on inside Granny's.

It was still hard to believe. When had Captain Hook become a source of happiness for her? Somehow, somewhere along the way, he had stopped getting under her skin and started getting into her heart. He had brought her happiness by restoring her to her family, and being there for her, and simply being himself. And now, she no longer wanted to resist those feelings that she had been keeping out with her walls—wanting, needing, caring.

She had no idea where this would lead—but somehow, that uncertainty did not frighten her as much as it usually would have.

She knew, in the back of her mind, that she was putting herself in a position to be hurt again. But she began to believe that Killian might be worth the risk, and that she might be willing to find out.

As they had just witnessed, her parents had found a way to be together, despite all the forces that worked against them. Maybe—just maybe—she and Killian could do the same.

"Come on," she said, taking his hand in her own. She tossed her head toward the diner. "You're one of the heroes now. You should be celebrating with the rest of us."

He smiled again, his usual mischief returning. When they stood up together, he leaned in and stole one more quick kiss. He held on to her hand as they went in, as though determined not to relinquish what he finally had the privilege of holding.

They were still hand-in-hand when David and Snow looked over. David paused, raising his brow at them, while Snow's smile became both knowing and full of wonder. Luckily, Henry was looking at Neal, so he did not notice Emma and Killian entering.

Seeing the baby, Emma realized there was one person who had missed the main event just now.

"I want you to meet someone," she said, tugging Killian toward her family. He followed her with a questioning look. She finally let go of him when they reached the booth. "Mom, can I hold the baby for a minute?"

"Of course." Snow passed the infant to David, who placed him in Emma's arms. It was the first time she actually held him; since they rescued him from Zelena, he had hardly left his parents' arms, except when Henry wanted a turn holding him. Emma had not asked for a turn before, since she had been trying to keep herself from getting too attached.

It was time for her to accept two very important people, and—she hoped—for them to accept each other.

Emma turned, presenting the baby to the pirate. "Killian, I'd like you to meet my brother."

Hook's smile was friendly, if still slightly bemused, looking between the brother and sister. "Does he have a name yet?"

"You missed the announcement," David chided teasingly.

There was a brief pause, as the family members exchanged glances, waiting for someone else to speak. Hook looked around expectantly. "Well?"

"Well," Snow said, her eyes darting nervously between Hook and her children. "You know that we talked about naming him after one of our parents. But after everything that's happened lately, we thought we should name him after a hero that we all knew and loved."

"And who was that?"

Snow met Emma's eyes, giving her a hopeful smile, before looking at Hook again. "Neal. His name is Neal."

Hook stared, momentarily taken aback. Emma held her breath, wondering what his reaction would be. She herself had mixed feelings about the name, and she could only imagine how he might feel.

At last, he smiled and nodded. "A fitting tribute."

Emma smiled in relief, and then spoke to the baby. "Neal, this is our good friend, Killian Jones."

Hook played along, offering his finger to the infant, who grasped it in his little fist. He bowed slightly. "An honor to meet you, Your Highness. You were named for a great man."

Henry stood up and came to Hook's side. They had not interacted much since Henry regained his true memories, but now he looked at the pirate with hope. "Hey, Killian? Maybe … someday you can tell Neal what my dad was like, the way you did for me."

Hook looked at him in surprise, and then at David and Snow, as though asking their opinion. They nodded in assent, their smiles soft and sad. He nodded in return, putting his arm around Henry's shoulders. "Aye, lad."

"We all will," Emma promised. She kissed her brother's forehead before passing him back to their mother.

Emma thought of her last conversation with Neal Cassidy, as she had so many times over the last few weeks. "I just want you to be happy. Even if it isn't with me."

She was happy now, in this moment, but she did not really know what happiness was like as a general state of being. She was not sure if she was good at holding on to it and enjoying it.

But looking at her parents, Neal, Henry, and Killian, she finally felt ready to try.

Author's Notes

This is one chapter that's been waiting a long time to be posted! I ended up cutting and moving things around quite a bit, unsure of how to make it flow best. The ending with baby Neal kind of came out of nowhere. I would appreciate feedback!

Regarding the section about the Jolly Roger: I know the correct traditional pronoun for ships is "she," but since this chapter is from Emma's point of view, I used "it" in her internal monologue.

Stay tuned for the events of Season 4! Some of my favorite moments happen then, both onscreen and off!