After showering and getting dressed Sami felt like she had completed a marathon and she had to sit down because she was scared her legs would give out underneath her. So she closed the toilet seat and sat down on top of it with a tired sigh.
"Honey, are you okay?" Marlena asked her daughter, while she was packing up her toiletries.
"Yeah…I just don't remember taking a shower being so exhausting." Sami answered honestly.
"You do look a bit pale." Marlena noticed when she turned around to look at her more closely. "Any nausea or headaches?"
"No, just tired." Sami told her, leaning back against the wall.
"Mom, what's happening to me?" She asked, not understanding why she felt the way she did. Especially after having already slept for so long and receiving the fluids and nutrients.
Marlena thought for a few seconds before answering. "I think you just need some time to recover from what happened yesterday."
"Fainting?" Sami asked, unsure what her mother was referring to.
"Seeing EJ again, the tough conversation with your father and yes fainting… everything that happened in the last 48 hours must have been a lot for you." Marlena stated more than she asked.
"I think I'm pretty trained in family drama and tough conversations at this point in my life." Sami pointed out, giving her mother a knowing look.
"Well you used to be…" Marlena replied carefully.
"What does that mean?" Sami asked, feeling herself getting a little defensive.
"From what I've seen it seems like you haven't let anyone in close enough to have any real or deep conversation for years." Marlena told her honestly.
"That's not true." Sami denied immediately.
"Sydney doesn't count." Marlena said, knowingly. "She's a teenager."
Sami sighed, realizing that her mother did sort of have a point. "Okay fine, maybe you're right." She admitted. "But if me being here in Salem is causing me to feel this way, that just proves my point that I'm better off in Italy." She added stubbornly.
"I disagree." Marlena replied calmly.
Sami let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Of course you do."
"Would you like to hear why?" Marlena asked, trying to keep the conversation constructive instead of reacting to Sami's sarcasm.
"Not really." Sami answered and Marlena shot her a disapproving look. "But fine, go ahead." She knew her mother was going to have her say at some point so she might as well hear it now she figured.
"I suspect… or at least I hope that your problems are manifesting right now because Salem and your family still feel like a safe place for you. A place where you can let your guard down people will help you." Marlena started and Sami just shook her head in disagreement before looking away again.
"It's either that or the valium and alcohol are fully out of your system and your body cannot function without it like it used to." She added, deciding to be totally open and honest.
Sami's eyes quickly shot back towards her mothers. "Y-you know about that?"
"Yes, it showed up in your bloodwork." Marlena told her.
"Aunt Kayla tested my blood for drugs and alcohol?" Sami asked, feeling hurt but also trying to turn the conversation away from herself.
"Yes, that's standard procedure, Sami. And definitely not the point right now."
Sami bit her lip nervously, trying to decide what to tell her mother.
"Honey, you can tell me the truth. I will not judge you, or use it against you or share what you tell me with anyone else." Marlena promised.
"It's not like I'm doing drugs." Sami defended herself. "I have a prescription for the Valium."
"I know." Marlena replied simply, leaving room for Sami to continue telling her story.
"When I just got back to Italy I thought I could just forget about everything that happened in Salem and focus on Sydney." Sami started and Marlena nodded. "But that's not what happened."
"It's not?" Marlena asked, encouraging her daughter to continue when she didn't.
Sami shook her head. "No, I was having nightmares and trouble sleeping. Then one day I got stuck in an elevator and I had a pretty bad panic attack. I somehow imagined that I was back in the cabin Lucas kept me at and I couldn't think clearly anymore."
"That all sounds very normal for someone who went through what you did." Marlena stated understandingly.
"Once I got out of the elevator they took me to the hospital and the doctor there prescribed me the Valium." Sami explained.
Marlena felt confused. "And he didn't refer you to a psychiatrist?"
"He did." Sami admitted. "But I didn't go."
"And they never canceled your prescription?" Marlena asked, surprised and worried at the same time. Worried for both Sami and other patients who went to that hospital
Sami shook her head. "No, they didn't." EJ and her had donated money to different hospitals and clinics in the region for years and having money still went a long way over there.
"But you have always been against taking these kinds of pills if I remember correctly. What made you decide to take them now?" Marlena wondered.
"I did it for Sydney at first." Sami started. "She was going through a rough time herself and I wanted to give her a stable home. Not a mother who was sleep deprived, depressed and panicking every time she heard a loud noise"
"And after Sydney left?" Marlena asked.
Sami shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I like the pills now. I used to feel so many emotions and hurt and thoughts running through my mind constantly but the Valium calms all that down. Maybe it's the same thing as someone with ADHD getting medicine."
"But in your case it stops you from dealing with your issues and becoming happy and healthy again." Marlena warned her worriedly.
"I know and I'm okay with that." Sami answered simply. Taking the pills had helped her push down her feelings for EJ and she hoped maybe one day she could stop loving him all together.
Marlena swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. "You are okay with not feeling happy again?" Sami nodded. "Oh Sami…" She trailed off, tears forming in her eyes.
"Mom, it's okay. It's not like I'm planning to hurt myself or anything. I just think this way is best for everyone…" Sami tried to reassure her mother.
"What way? Because the valium's effects are going to subside at some point." Marlena told her and Sami looked away. "They already have, haven't they?" She realized. "That's why you are combining the pills with alcohol."
"Mom…" Sami trailed off.
"Sami, you know how dangerous that is. Do I really have to tell you about the risks of overdosing?" Marlena asked, feeling herself get more upset and even a little angry.
Sami groaned. "Mom, stop overreacting please. Or I'm not going to discuss this with you anymore."
That made Marlena stop in her ways because the last thing she wanted to do was alienate her daughter. "Okay, I'm sorry." She apologized quickly. "I'm really glad that you are being honest with me."
Sami nodded. "You can trust me to not do anything to hurt myself. I would never willingly leave my children behind in this rotten world to fend for themselves." She promised and she meant that.
"Sami, we are having this conversation in a hospital bathroom because you haven't been taking care of yourself." Marlena couldn't help but point out.
Sami looked away for a second, feeling ashamed. "Look, seeing Johnny and Sydney so worried today woke me up, I promise."
"So you'll let us help you?" Marlena asked carefully.
"Well I'm about to fall asleep sitting on a toilet so I don't think I have much choice." Sami admitted.
"Alright let's get you home and into bed." Marlena smiled. Thankful that Sami wasn't pushing her away. Yet.
—
After getting some rest Sami walked into the Townhouse living room and she found a room full of people there. Her brothers, her mother, John and her children. Allie was the one that spotted her first.
"Mom!" She exclaimed excitedly as she quickly got up from the couch to give her mother a hug.
"Hi Sweetheart." Sami said, smiling at her daughter after they let go.
"Hi mom." Will said, a little calmer than his sister, before giving his mother a hug as well. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay." Sami reassured him, lovingly stroking his cheek. "It's really good to see you guys."
"Why don't you sit down, Sami?" Eric offered, moving from his spot on the couch so he could make room for her.
"Eric, I'm fine." Sami told him but she sat down anyway when he kept looking at her expectantly.
"Here's some water." Brady said, walking up to her and handing her a glass of water. "Are you hungry?"
"Okay guys, please stop treating me like some invalid." Sami warned them.
"You really worried us, Sami. My heart was in my throat when I heard the ambulance pull up to the Pub." Eric told her worriedly. He had immediately realized that something was wrong with his sister. They had always been able to sense these kinds of things about each other.
"Me too. And I'm sorry if me forcing you to come to Salem to help Tate caused this." Brady apologized guiltily. All he had been thinking about was his son.
"Okay guys, give your sister some space please." John told the boys, thinking this was not what Sami needed right now, and they both took a few steps back from their spot right in front of her.
"Wait, where's Sydney?" Sami asked, looking around, suddenly realizing her youngest wasn't there.
Everyone looked a bit awkward and unsure but didn't say anything so Sami looked at Johnny, expecting him to always take care of his sister. "She's okay, mom. Tate took her with him to the mall to spend some time with his friends." He told her.
"What happened?" Sami asked him. She knew Sydney wouldn't have left without a reason and everyone acting so awkward confirmed it.
"Allie and Sydney got into a fight about Lucas." Johnny explained looking at Allie, who looked down in guilt.
Sami sighed, she was not surprised. "Right."
"I'm sorry, mom. I know this is the last thing you need right now." Allie apologized, sitting down next to her mom and grabbing her hand.
"Allie, I don't want you to worry about me. I just didn't eat and drink enough the last few days and that caused me to pass out. That's not your fault." Sami promised her daughter. "Nor is it yours Brady." She added, looking at him and he nodded. Grateful to be relieved of his guilt.
Sami motioned for Will to sit down next to Allie. "So tell me what's going on with your dad."
"I'm going to get some air." Johnny said, before walking out of the room, not wanting to lose his temper again like he did at the Pub earlier.
"I'll go with him." John offered and Sami shot him a grateful smile before he went after Johnny.
Allie looked at her big brother hoping he would take the lead, which he did. "When we landed at Salem airport about an hour ago we had a voicemail from grandma Kate telling us that dad is being released from prison tomorrow." Will told his mother.
"Right." Sami replied simply. She felt a lump forming in her throat but she wanted to be supportive of Will and Allie. She was sure as hell going to stay far away from the Pub as long as she was in Salem though.
"Of course we knew that this would happen soon but we hadn't actually made our mind up on whether we wanted to come visit him." Will added.
"But then Johnny told us that you were in Salem and in the hospital and we wanted to come see you of course but we also kind of took that as a sign." Allie interjected.
"Yes, a sign that we shouldn't keep running away from Salem and everything that happened here." Will finished. Sometimes it was like Will and Allie were the twins finishing each other sentences instead of Johnny and Allie.
"Well I cannot blame you for doing that. I've been doing the same I guess…" Sami admitted.
"We know." Will stated with a sad smile. "But Allie and I decided that it's time to start dealing with what happened. And maybe start forgiving dad…"
"I understand." Sami reassured them with a tired smile. "And I want you to do what makes you guys happy." She added.
"You do?" Will couldn't stop himself from asking, only half joking. He had been kind of worried about how his mother would react to them supporting Lucas.
"William." Marlena scolded her grandson from where she was standing. Eric and Brady shared an awkward look.
Sami looked at her mother. "It's okay, mom." She told her before turning back to Will. "Look Will, I know you often expect the worst of me. Maybe deservingly so…but I won't ask you or your sister to choose sides between your father and myself."
Will nodded gratefully. "Thanks, mom."
"What about you, mom? Are you going to see dad?" Allie asked carefully.
"No, I'm not planning to right now." Sami answered honestly but firmly and Allie nodded. "Honey, things will not be like they were before. You do realize that, right?"
Allie looked at her mother sadly. "Like, never?"
"Well…never is a long time but right now I'm not seeing myself being co-parents and friends with your father like we used to." Sami explained. "I hope you understand that."
"Of course, mom. We know what dad did to you was really horrible." Allie answered quickly.
Sami didn't know how to respond to that so she changed the subject. "I just want to focus on spending time with you guys now that we are all in Salem."
"That sounds nice." Allie agreed with a smile. "Right, Will?"
Will nodded. "Yeah, definitely. How long are you planning to stay, mom?"
Sami looked at her mother, thinking about the promise she made to her and Johnny and Sydney. "A few weeks. I haven't actually booked my return flight yet."
"Your mother has promised to let John and myself take care of her for a little while." Marlena interjected with a smile. "So how about we start with some lunch?" One of her first goals was to get Sami eating again.
Sami pulled a face at the thought of her mother making any kind of food.
"John prepared it." Marlena told her with a somewhat hurt look. "But I can actually make some sandwiches you know." She defended herself.
"Okay, mom." Sami told her with a smile. She would eat if that made her mother happy and she would just try to enjoy her time with the children.