NOTICE TO READERS PLEASE READ

Alright so I got absorbed into the Cult of the Lamb fandom recently and I'm gonna be just posting some content out of order for this series for a while because I don't want to abandon it. Tanners not been around and I'm sorta tryin' my best. I know the chapter isn't labled as you'd expect and it seems a little out of context.

Severus woke early that morning as he'd done every year for the past six. The anniversary of Lily and James' deaths. He got up and start a cup of tea and made breakfast. He tended not to think about it too much over the rest of the year. Today was just the day. The day it happened. Occasionally he'd see something that reminded him of it on other days, but today was usually the hardest. Today was the day it didn't seem worth it. After getting dressed, disguised himself, and then he went out. Apparition taking him to Godrich's hollow, and made his way to St. Jerome's Church. He hated being in Godrich's hollow. He wasn't sure if he wanted to or not, this was the place where it happened. It was also where Lily and James were buried so he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Not if he actually wanted to pay his respects. He had to be here, he came here other times of the year sometimes on a whim, but today he came every year. Every single one of the six years since their deaths he'd spend Halloween disguised at their graves, thinking about the past.

It was a wasteful past time, there were so many things he needed to do, so much he needed to get into order. So much, so much, so- too much. It was just too much, especially today. He could afford to indulge this for just one day.

Severus took a deep breath as he walked the familiar streets, he'd eat at the grave, like he'd done every single year. Talking to the two, questioning things. Wondering what could have been done differently. What paths they could have walked if not for- Mostly he liked to talk about what he was doing. How he was making the world better, or at least he thought he was. Update them on Harry's situation, Dumbledoor kept him up to date. Or he used to. He hadn't heard anything in months now. It was a little frustrating. He planned to confront Dumbledoor. Tomorrow, he was sure Dumbledoor would tell him if something were truly wrong. He purchased his meal at a particularly good place, he'd come every year. He walked the familiar street toward the graveyard. He thinks there might have been better places to bury the two.

He wondered if Lily or James would have preferred another burial site. Dumbledoor hadn't exactly given any of them any time to prepare a proper funeral. He had his reasons but Severus would have still liked time to process everything. Settle things, perform last rights, Lily's sister, their other friends. There'd been so much left undone that the first time Severus had visited he was worried that he'd not be able to find the graves. That no one had even bothered to give them a tombstone, as if there was no one who would miss them, as if they'd been unknown and soon forgotten, erased. Of course there was a tombstone though.

Severus entered the graveyard, continued on his way on the familiar path he'd walked a million times. Watching the leaves crackle under his feet. It was just another sound to him.

"Hello, Mum, Dad," Severus heard a young girl's voice ring out in the cold air. "I'm sorry I haven't visited before." Ah, that explained it. The girl probably didn't know how to behave in a graveyard. Severus focused on the sound, planning to inform the girl and leave it at that. "It's just that Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't want to come." She was at Lily and James' grave. Kneeling down in front of it, or crouched perhaps. "They said that- well, it doesn't matter what they said." Her black hair was a long messy mop. Her back was turned to Severus, but he was almost certain of what he'd see if she turned around. "I'm not living with them anymore. I live with my Daddies. They couldn't come for- well for reasons, but they look like these." she gestured to something in front of her, presumably a picture of some sort. She sounded like Lily had at that age, not entire but enough. "They're job is- well really it's their bosses. Anyway, I lived with Sirius for a couple weeks. I don't know why you put him in your will. Maybe he was better before you died, but he was awful. He got drunk and hit me so I ran away." Severus had to force his focus on the girl's next words. Her voice dropped. "I went back to my daddies and they're taking care of me now. I'm actually doing pretty good now. I still miss you, Daddies said that's never going to go away." Her voice got even softer now, so very soft. "Ah!" A spike of sound. "Right, I brought flowers." She pulled them from her coat pocket. A crumpled lily and a bluebell. "I got a lily for Mum, but I wasn't sure what to get Dad. There aren't any flowers named James. So, I got these, they look like pots, and your family name is Potter so-" Severus couldn't fight the little chuckle that bubbled up out of his chest. The girl turned to look at him, wild black hair flying and- ah, green eyes. Lily's green eyes. The girl's hair ended up in a state from her rapid turn, a strand or two falling over her face. It was a complete mess despite someone having gone to the effort of trying to band it in a hair tie. She'd shot to her feet in her turn as well. Still partially turned away, but Severus could see what she was holding, a pair of dolls. She wore a dark blue coat, and a thick pair of pants and boots, and gloves, but her pale cheeks were still stained pink with the cold. Her green eyes were wide. Frightened. Severus didn't feel like laughing.

"Sorry," Severus said. "Those are bluebells, it's bad luck to pick them."

"That's stupid," the girl said, face scrunching up in an annoyed pout.

"I-I didn't know Lily and James had a daughter," He decided.

"You knew my parents," the girl's shoulders relaxed, but her eyes stayed sharp and distrustful as she looked him over, but her shoulders dropped a little lower. Seeing the items he held. Lily's eyes never looked like that, neither had James. Lily and James were the sort of people who would trust with their whole being. It's what got them killed.

"Yes," Severus said. "Sorry, I didn't expect anyone to be here." Severus said. "I've been the only one who's visited them in a very long time you see." Her lips pursed, she tilted her head, her eyes looked sad and curious at the same time.

"What were-" She stopped for a moment, chewing her lip before speaking again. Voice barely a whisper. "What were they like?" She looked hopeful, so very hopeful.

"They were-" Severus paused. How could he describe them? "What do you know about them?" The girl's face scrunched up; disgust, annoyance, sadness all displayed openly despite the edge of distrust still leaking into her eyes. She shook her head before answering, voice filled mostly with disgust.

"Uncle Vernon and his sister called them drunks," the girl said.

"Well, that's not true, I scarcely remember either of them ever drinking more than a cup between the two of them," Severus noted, a fond smile starting to play on his face. "Lily, your mother, she was not a fan of most alcohols, and I believe James had a familial issue with alcohol." the girl nodded, seeming mollified. She turned back to stare at the grave. Sitting back down, on crossed legs and began placing the flowers.

"You can sit down if you want," she said. "You knew them more than I did. But don't try anything!" The girl's voice was sharp and hard. "I mean it. I've got ways of defending myself."

"Ah yes, I understand," Severus said, settling down next to her.

"I'm Harriette," the girl said. "What about you?"

"I'm not allowed to give you my name, and I don't want to give you a fake one," Severus admitted.

"Why?" Harriette said. "Are you a wizard spy or something?" Her voice was curious, but also teasing, it was very much like her father.

"Yes," Severus answered. The girl gaped at him. "But it's top secret, so I can't tell you." She laughed, it was a small little sound, like she was used to not making noise.

"Alright mr. Wizard Spy," the girl said. "My parents didn't have a girl." She said after several moments of silence.

"Oh?" Severus asked, curious. He already knew this, but he was curious how she'd come to her decision.

"Yeah, they named me Harry at first," Harriette said, she was eyeing him suspiciously from the corner of her eye, but decided to look away. "That's why the only people allowed to call me Harry are my parents." She said, Such childish logic. "They died before I started going by Harriette." She said, matter of factly.

"That makes sense," Severus said, a smile starting to grow. "Why did you choose the name Harriette?" Severus asked.

"Because it shortens to Harry sometimes," Harriette answered. "It just felt like I needed to, cause they named me that, and they didn't get to know me. Even when I thought they were bad I still felt kind of sorry for them."

"Ah," Severus said. She was tugging on the grass at the foot of the grave, not pulling it up or even breaking it.

"They used to tell me they were bad, but they also said they didn't have any friends," Harriette said. "They said that's why they had to take me."

"Your Aunt and Uncle?"

"He's not my real uncle," Harriette informed. "He just married my aunt. Real uncle's aren't just related by something as arbit-Arbit-chu-airy."

"Arbitrary?" Severus corrected almost automatically.

"Yeah that," Harriette said. "He's not related by blood and he doesn't act like an uncle either."

"And how does an uncle act?" Severus asked.

"Better," Harriette said. "Uncle's don't hit their nieces." Anger bubbled under the surface of Severus's skin. Hit? How often had that happened? "They don't starve their nieces either, they don't lock them up in a cupboard, they don't yell at them until they're a crying mess, they don't lock them out of the house at night either." Severus's anger grew with each word. Dumbledoor has not mentioned any of this. Not a single solitary word. He's always said that Harry, Harriette, was fine. Always referring to her as Harry and he too and that was clearly wrong. If Severus had pressed for more information, he'd been told it wasn't a good idea for him to know it. He'd accepted that, he'd accepted that knowing more would put Harry, Harriette, in danger. That he, she had been fine. Severus had to take a deep breath to keep from showing his anger. "Yeah." Harriette said. "Well, I don't live with them anymore. I've got a new family now, my daddies are way better than them, I have grandparents now too! And real uncles, and- and." She fiddled with the cloth dolls. One had a sun like design, all bright yellows and oranges. The other had a moon design, blue and whites and grays, and little yellow stars. Severus remembered the girl mentioning that her dads looked like… Surely not. "Anyway, you have to know more than their drinking habits?" Harriette said, trying to brush her hair out of her face, it just fell right back into it.

"Your mother and father were kind," Severus said. "Especially your mother. She was fierce though, she had no - well, she wasn't the type to let things go if she thought something was unfair." Harriette smiled. "Your father was… well, both your parents had a select group of people they were close to, but those people were their world." Severus sighed. "Your mother was smart, probably one of the smartest people I knew, she was kind to everyone as long as you hadn't earned her ire. She mellowed out as she got older but in her younger years retribution was swift. She wasn't the type to let her kindness be seen as a weakness. Maybe it was just that she had less reason to fight." Harriette had turned so that the full force of those bright green eyes were on him, listening intently to every one of Severus's words. "I don't think you could find anyone who didn't think they were wonderful, even if they weren't close with them." Severus leaned back. "There was a time I was jealous of that, I think, especially when I was younger. They were just so… What words would one use to describe it? Shining? I felt like it was impossible to belong to that kind of world. But then again I don't think many of the people who were there felt they belonged. They had a way of making you feel like you did though." Severus felt his eye twitch. "It didn't always work out for them." The girl looked away from Severus, a frown growing on her face.

"I wish I'd known them," Harriette said.

"I'm sure they would be proud of you," Severus said.

"You think so?" Harriette's voice was soft when she said it. It took a moment for Severus to be able to manage anything more than nodding, his throat too tight to speak, and before he could Harriette asked her next question. "Do you think they'd like my new daddies, my new family?"

"If they're taking good care of you then I'm sure they would," Severus answered.

"They do! My new family is great!" Harriette said, voice sharp.

"Then I'm sure they would," Severus said, looking at her from the corner of his eyes. The girl had the most barely there smile on her face.

"Harriette!" A male voice called. Severus was sure he'd heard it before, but couldn't quite place it.

"Uncle Kreacher!" Harriette said, standing, turning. Severus stood to turn, already knowing what he'd see but still somehow surprised. There the house elf was, near the front of the graveyard, dressed in a long coat, scarf and big hat covering up the majority of his features. Harriette ran over to him, offering one of her hands, her dolls tucked together in the other.

"Sorry, it took longer than I thought it would," Kreacher said. "Were you alright on your own?"

"It's alright, I can handle being alone for a little while," Harriette said. "Besides, I met one of my parents' friends."

"Is that so," Kreaher shot Severus a suspicious look, before turning back to Harriette. "That's good I guess." His expression softer than Severus could recall from the house elf. "Well, it's time to go home. Sorry we can't stay longer."

"It's okay," Harriette said, smiling brighter than any she'd worn at the grave. "Let's go home. Granny's making stew and Daddies gonna read us a story, and Mayla promised to spend the night so that I won't be alone when Daddies gotta go out." She turned back, smiling brightly. "Bye, Mister. It was nice talking to you." She gave a small wave, with her barely free hand, giving a soft smile, eyes brighter now than before. Severus smiled and waved back.

"It was an absolute delight to get to meet you, Harriette," Severus said. The two disappeared in a puff of house elf magic. Severus frowned. He looked back at Lily and James' grave, a soft guilty smile playing on his face. "I'm afraid I'll have to postpone our yearly visits. It seems I have something to sort out."

Severus stayed disguised to enter Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius opening the door of course didn't recognise him, since he rarely wore the same disguise to places. Normally he wouldn't now, but he hadn't had time to prepare another option so he'd come straight from the graveyard to Number 12 Grimmauld Place so that he could speak to Sirius Black. Severus was familiar enough with Number 12 Grimmauld Place despite only having been only two or three times over the past two years that Sirius owned it. To be fair Severus was fairly certain that Sirius himself had only been there as many times. Well, he had been.

"Who are you?" Sirius said. Severus gave the code that they'd all come up with years ago. Shortly after Petigrew's defection to Voldemort's side, it was lucky he hadn't known Severus had 'defected' to the other. "Ah, it's you." Sirius said, opening the door a little more and tilting himself backward, sliding into a smooth turn that looked careless and effortless. Sirius was a relaxed person, he'd gotten worse since the deaths of Lily and James. They all had. However Sirius didn't seem drunk now at least. Severus himself had in fact seen him drunk before. He hadn't cared, if that's how Sirius chose to cope- how was Severus supposed to prevent him. Who was Severus to judge?

"It's good to see you again," Severus lied.

"Yeah, Good to see you too," Sirius said, leading the way further into the house. "I have- I have things to do, so if you wouldn't mind."

"It depends," Severus said. "I'm getting worried about Harry. Dumbledor has stopped reporting on his condition." Severus said. "I'm starting to think there is something he doesn't want me to know, and was wondering if you've heard anything."

"You work with the man," Sirius said. If Severus hadn't known the man since they were children he might not have noticed how uncomfortable he was. Severus sighed.

"You don't have anything to say?" Severus gave the man one last chance. Sirius looked at him over a moment. Then sighed, collapsing into one of the sitting room couches. Severus had followed him up to it. He'd barely noticed.

"Look, I know I fucked up," Sirius said. "Who even told you?"

"Does it matter," Severus wasn't pleased, but he also knew how close they're little group had been. In a way losing Lily and James had destroyed their lives in many ways. Severus sat down, and just looked at him. They'd never been friends, but they'd- managed a tenuous respect for each other over the many, many years they'd worked together.

"Fine," Sirius said. "You're giving me that look, so I'll talk." the man sat back. "I messed up."

"Start from the beginning," Snape said. He hadn't been able to get the whole story from the girl. He couldn't risk that. He was a stranger as far as she knew, and that's the way it would stay. She was better off. Even with the disastrous situation.

Maybe there was also some guilt. Severus had some blame in that girl's sad circumstances after all. She didn't need him adding to it.

"Fine, you're right, prig," Sirius said, but there was no real bite to his words. "Petunia got in contact with me. You 'member her right?"

"Of course I do," Severus said.

"So, she contacted me through Aspen, she said: 'Sirius, you are officially James and Lily's child's Godfather. So I want you to take him.' Okay that wasn't exactly what she said. Don't look at me like that, it was a while back, and I burned the letter to be on the safe side." He slid further back. Severus couldn't help thinking he hadn't managed to grow up at all since their school years. "Anyways," Sirius continued. "She contacted me again! Oh, right she mentioned that Harry was missing before that, but she wasn't going to take her back, and not to involve Dumbdor, because he'd make her and Harry live with Vernon Dursley and he'd- well Aspen said he'd hit her and Dudley at least once or twice and they had the better of it. Well, I asked if she'd told Dumbldor that, and she said he'd forced them back to Vernon from the hospital. I didn't really want to believe her but… Well… Anyways back to the point, I took Harry after Aspen made something to help track the kid down, right? So, she brought him to me, and I took him and I couldn't- I just couldn't- He- he looked just like James, 'cept he had Lily's eyes. He was so small though, too small for a six year old. He was just six and he just- He looked like a three or four year old. He was so skinny. But he was still so, so much like James. He- I couldn't be around him. Not when he was so little but so very- so I left. I started drinking more. I got into a fight with Kreacher. He was being all- know it all like. Like he knows anything about how to care for a wizard y'know, anyways he got all uppity and in my business. HOW Dare! And then… It was an accident, I didn't mean to hit him. I didn't," Sirius had sat up. There were tears in his eyes. Snape felt absolutely not pity for him. "I got- I was hitting Kreacher and he got too close, he- I don't even know how hurt he was. I found his glasses… But that's it. I called Remus, and Aspen and Petunia. I figured Petunia found him before she could do it again, right? I really didn't-"

"Harriette," Severus said. "And I will handle the matter myself." Severus stood. "Inform Remus and Aspen that I will be taking care of this matter from now on."

"Is that a good i-" Sirius started.

"Clearly it's the only option, and the fact that I wasn't allowed guardianship in the first place is frankly beyond reason to begin with," Severus said.

"I meant with-"

"I'll handle it," Severus snapped.

"Fine, if you- I- I really am sorry," He said, voice almost gone. "He was just."

"Harriette is a girl," Severus said.

"I'm pretty sure-" Sirius tried to argue. Severus literally snapped his fingers in the other man's face to get his attention. Gods maybe he was drunk.

"Harriette. No longer Harry. Is. a. Girl." Severus clarified. "I've corrected you twice now. Don't make me do it again." Sirius's eyebrows scrunched in thought, Severus turned to leave.

"You already found him didn't you?" Sirius said.

"What?" Severus was about ready to march back across the room to hit the man. He was staggering to his feet.

"He was talking about it, too, Kreacher, he kept calling him a she, and the kid would too," Sirius said. "You already found him and you came here to-"
"DO NOT DEADNAME MY CHILD!" Severus shouted, storming across the room. "She is our daughter, a girl, and you will no longer refer to her as anything else! Harriette, her name is Harriette! Are we clear." Sirius flopped back on the couch, but he did glare up at him.

"What was that?" Aspen's voice said from the door. Severus turned to look at ver, ve had ver arms folded, head lifted so that ve could look down vis nose at the object of vis rage. Vis pale eyes glinted like steel, the gaze entirely directed to Sirius. "Did he just say you miss gendered our godchild." ve said, stepping further into the room. "Really. I'd think of all people you'd know better." ve flicked vis gaze to Severus quickly before looking back. "C'mon get up you git, your lucky I came specifically to help you with your drinking problem." Vis stomped over to the man on the couch and pulled him to his feet, none too gently. "Given Sirius's current list of discretions I have to wonder if you're aware of the child's missing status."

"I am pleased to inform you that she is no longer missing," Severus said. "Good day."

"Good day," they parted with very little fanfare. To take care of their respective business.

Page Break

Severus, Lily and James sat together in their shared room. Lily was sitting cross legged on the bed as she read through a baby name book.

"What do you think our baby will look like?" she asked.

"Hopefully you and James," Severus stated.

"Awe, I hope they get your little birdy beak," James said.

"Stop it, don't curse our children with my nose," Severus growled.

"Awe but I think your little bird beak is cute," Lily joked.

"I'm never sleeping with either of you again," Severus joked.

"Awe no!" James sat up pulling Severus and Lily into him. Lily laughing with a little shriek. "You have to. You love us too much for that." He said pressing a kiss to both of their temples.

"I do not, now let me get my work done," Severus grumbled, trying to cover his smile with the notes.

"No! Spend time with us," James said. "We rarely get to see you anymore."

"Yeah, help pick out baby names," Lily said. Flopping down to lay across both of the two men's laps.

"We don't have time," Severus said, letting James drag him back to the two, and leaning over and pressing a kiss to Lily's forehead, then leaning back, the three adjusting to be a little more comfortable. "I want our baby to grow up in a world that's free of you know who."

"Really, sense when are you afraid of saying that name," James said.

"There are ways to put traces on such things," Severus snapped back, James pull his work from him. Lily settling over them.

"What do you think they'll be like," she said, putting her hand over her stomach.

"If they inherit anything from me I hope it's my intelligence, otherwise they might end up like James," Severus said.

"Hey," James nearly shouted the words.

"Don't shout in my ear," Severus said. "They better inherit your disastrous hair." Severus said, causing James and Lily to snicker.

"Maybe with Lily's coloring," James said. "Her hair colors pretty."

"Hmm, that would be really cute," Severus admitted. Lily laughed.

"They'll probably have black hair, what with you both having black hair," Lily said.

"Hopefully they don't end up as oily as Sevy," James said. "No offense but…"

"Agreed," Severus said. Resisting the urge to rub the oil from his nose. James snickered.

"I hope they have the way you crinkle your nose then," James joked.

"Oh, that is the cutest, I hope so," Lily said.

"Well, maybe they should get your smile," Severus said.

"Yes!" James nearly shouted again.

"Ears," Severus said.

"Sorry," James said, trying not to shout. "But yeah, Lily's smile, oh, and her green eyes."

"Yes, green eyes," Severus said. Lily snort laughed.

"Well, then I hope they inherit James love of flying," Lily said. "His messy hair, and my green eyes, and the way Sev crinkles his nose, the shape of his nose too," Severus looked to her annoyance clear. "Not the size just the shape," Lily reassured. "I think your nose is cute."

"Your terrible," Severus said.'

"That's fair," James said. "I really wouldn't want our kid to be made fun of for their nose size." James sounded a little guilty there.

"I've forgiven you for that already," Severus assured.

"That doesn't mean that it doesn't still bother you," James said. "Besides, I wouldn't want them to think that's something that someone should do. I deserved every butt whooping that Lily gave me for that." The three snickered.

"Yeah, you did!~" Lilly said, pride clear in her voice.

"What can I say?" James said.

"You're both incorrigible," Severus joked back. "Lily's coloring, and James messy hair and love of flying, and my nose shape. This kid is going to be ugly if we stick to that. Their coloring is going to be the only pretty thing about them." Severus was mostly joking.

"No they won't!" Lily shouted. "They'll be the cutest child in the world."

"And they'll have our combined brilliance!" James said.

"They'll only be cute to us," Severus said, and if we're counting you in that they might actually end up being stupid." Severus joked. "It's a good thing your cute, and good at quidditch." He pressed a kiss to James nose.

"Ha! I'm fucking brilliant!"

"Your grades say otherwise," Snape said.

"My grades were fine," James said. "And I invented my own series of spells too you know."

"I suppose that is true," Snape said. "So, at least they'll have that going for them."