How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand. There is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep. That have taken hold.

Reading the paragraph for a second time, the questions posed from the book matched some questions already clouding the mind of the figure laying upon a grazed field. Sprawled out this way and that, his wards moseyed around idly and remained ignorant of the man's internal plight. The Hylian set his book aside and sighed. High above him was the vast blue sky, which was pleasantly dotted with white clouds. Absentmindedly picking at the grass, the young man sighed for the hundredth time before allowing his victimized blades to flutter away to freedom in the wind. His blue-eyed gaze fell to his left hand and there his pupils traced the faint triangular birthmark that distinguished him as someone important: someone who had a destiny and who was meant for great things. Yet here he was, leading an ordinary life, as an ordinary goat herder in an ordinary village… even his clothes were ordinary.

Link frowned at the monotony of it all.

Ordinary now, or rather again, for the young Hylian's life hadn't always been this quiet. Link had been definitely having some difficulty over the past few months with returning back to what he used to refer to as his whole world. But really, could he be blamed? How many people had to essentially relearn how to take a bath without worrying about being ambushed by monsters? Link did apparently. Hell, the first time that a goat had escaped from the ranch and Link found himself in its path, he had stopped the beast with ease. However, he had grappled with it so strongly, his expression had turned so terribly dark, that when he tossed it aside the animal landed hard and was injured. Link had been deeply apologetic and horrified that he had hurt the goat. Both Fado and Mayor Bo had to calm the young man down. They reassured him that it had been nothing but a mistake and that the goat would simply walk it off. Eventually Link relented, but what truly had scared him was that when the goat had charged he swore it was a Bullbo. He hadn't seen a common Ordon Goat, but as a creature or something just as evil and dangerous. When Link hurled the beast aside he had been intending to hurt it in order to protect the village, but... it had simply been a goat.

Goats weren't the only things Link was finding difficulty with. Currently, his daily routine consisted of: waking early at dawn, washing and dressing, making breakfast for himself before heading out into the crisp morning air to tend to his silver bay mare, Epona. Once his best girl was tended to, he'd lead her from his house to head off to work at Ordon Ranch. All were simple enough tasks, yet completely them all while also constantly looking over his shoulder for an approaching Poe or Bulblin made them all slightly stressful. Link had always taken his time with his truly noble steed. He loved Epona. He made sure she was properly groomed, that her hooves were cleaned, and that her mane and tail were thoroughly combed until all the dirt and tangles were gone. Perhaps taking his time was an overstatement. It seemed that more often than naught these days, no matter how early he awoke in the morings Link was usually late to meet Fado up at the ranch.

With each stroke of his grooming brush upon his horse, Link would sink deeper into his thoughts. His dread of having to face yet another mundane day would slowly envelop him and he would lose track of time altogether. It was no secret that he wasn't satisfied with his Ordonian duties anymore. The entire village knew it and behind their smiles and comforting words, everyone knew that he was unhappy.

In the beginning when Link had first returned home, it arrived adorned in heroic green and astride his mare. His adventures and deeds had been swollen to idealized and grandiose levels by the village children whom he had saved. everything seemed to be alright. Welcomed like the hero he was, Link's return was overcast by an invisible shadow that hung over him. Quickly and silently, Link realized that no one would understand even if he tried to explain it. There was just too much to tell and Link had never been good at talking, period. The villagers called him the "Saviour of Hyrule", as did the entire kingdom. Link, however, knew that he did not deserve all the credit but it was difficult for people to understand that he had a partner for the majority of his adventures. Why? Well, said partner was usually invisible to see so, therefore, no one from the village had ever seen them.

Her... Link missed her.

The hero's gratitude and smile satisfied most of them, the people whom Link had grown up with. Still, there were the few of those whom could read his discomfort and melancholy that he hid behind his blue eyes. They could see that Link was conflicted, hurt, and that there were things on his mind that he should talk about but wouldn't. In fact, it did not take long for Rusl, Link's mentor and practically surrogate father who had taken the young Hylian under his wing after his parents died, to pull Link aside in private.

"Link!" he had greeted. "I just wanted to let you know again how thankful I am of you for saving my boy, Colin. I don't think that I'll ever feel like I've repaid you for what you've done. Myself, and, well, everyone for that matter, we're all so proud of you, Link! It's so good to have you back home. You know that right? Though I... I just wanted to, umm... I wanted to ask about, I mean..." Rusl began but paused, the older man trying to find the words he had obviously practiced in saying, but his companion beat him to it.

"I know what you're going to ask. If I'm okay or something, right? I get it, but the truth is... I really don't want to talk about it. Not just yet anyways." Link spoke softly, not meeting his mentor's eye but it was the truth, however vague it was. "I'm glad to be home too. Yeah."

Finally when Link did look up to smile at the master swordsman, Rusl studied him thoughtfully. He clearly wanted to say more, but Rusl only nodded in understanding. He chose to respect the teenager's privacy and true to form, he did not bring it up again. Rusl expressed his pride and wonderment towards Link, assuring him that he would always be welcomed at his home. His mentor promised Link that he would always be there if the younger man needed him. That in itself Link appreciated more than words could describe.

There were, however, others who were not at placid as Rusl with Link's ambiguous responses of what was on his mind: namely Ilia. She had been one of the first to greet him when the village discovered he had returned. Speaking of his return, something strange happened when he had come back and he hadn't meant to do it. Link did not trot down into the centre of Ordon like he had imagined. He had pictured himself announcing to all his friends that he was home and that the evil threatening Hyrule had been vanquished! Or... something along those lines. Once upon a time he had even envisioned fanfare and birds flying around while the cheers of his fellow villagers filled the air. A welcome becoming the Saviour of Hyrule. Instead, Link went to his house on the outskirts of the village, quietly unsaddled Epona, and wordlessly headed up to his empty home. When the door closed behind him, Link had just stood in the middle of the floor. For many long minutes he had stared dully at the familiar surroundings under the twilight that seeped into his window panes. No emotion creased his face. Eventually he fell to his knees, exhausted, and shrugged off his Hylian shield and empty scabbard, before pulling off his forest green floppy hat while the night's darkness enveloped him.

"Home sweet home…" he mumbled dryly and had half-awaited the snarky remark that had been his echo for the past few months.

When the response never came and the silence of his house seemed to mock him, Link thumbed the durable material of his hat. Woodenly, he admired the stitching with his finger. He wondered absently if the hat had any real useful function besides being iconic and very warm, which had not been fun in the Gerudo Desert. Removing himself from the floor had been a chore. Once he succeeded, however, Link lit a couple of candles before heading towards his cellar to lock his heroic life away. Stowing away the Hero's Clothes, his shield, his belt, gauntlets, and everything else that identified him as the hero Hyrule now recognized him as in a chest, Link shut the lid. He had decided to try and turn his back on his heroism and settle back into his rustic life. When the villagers and Ilia came to his house the following morning, Link was dressed in his simple Ordon clothes and bore no heroic significance. All that remained were the mark of the Triforce upon his hand, battle scars on his body, and the memories within his heart.

The moment Link showed his face from his door, cheers and shouts of joy bombarded his ears. Stunned by the surprise revelry, Link was nearly dragged down his ladder. Hands clasped his arms with pride, clamped him on the head and shoulders, and the villagers' infectious praises aroused a shy grin and blush within his cheeks. His chagrin only intensified when he found himself face-to-face with the girl who he had literally risked his life for. Ilia, his best friend for years, threw her arms around his neck and planted a not-so-subtle kiss upon his cheek. This act of affection only roused the villagers even more, although their cheering turned more into chuckles and glances at the embarrassed mayor, the girl's father. The kiss for sure took Link by surprise, with his face turning a bright red and his hands hovering awkwardly in the air. All he did in response was give her an awkward hug before gently stepping back to give himself some space from everyone. Later when he had a chance to think about it, what really shocked Link the most was that he was not more excited to receive Ilia's affections. He didn't understand why though, not then anyway.

Once all the initial hullabaloo had settled and everyone had their share of his ear, having smothered him with questions and gratitude for returning their children, there was a grand feast held in his honour. Ilia managed to drag Link aside once everyone was busy merrymaking and drinking ale. She explained that she wished to speak with him in private. How fitting it was, Link thought, that they found themselves at Ordon Spring, or maybe it was some sort of poetic ring composition. Among the pleasantly dancing waters, home of the Light Spirit Ordona, was where Link's entire adventure began. That's where his thoughts had strayed, rather than focusing on the fact that he had found himself to be alone with Ilia. She sat there beside him on the sand while both looked at the scenery and listened to the bubbling spring. After a few moments she spoke.

"Link. It's so good having you back home! I do not know how I could ever thank you, for saving me and the others and for helping me restore my memories and all… It's been a while since I last saw you and, well, I'm so happy that you're safe and here now... that we're all back home together again." Pausing she looked at him, met his eye, and smiled while blushing in the moonlight. "You are truly amazing, you know that?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Link quickly broke eye contact, out of apparent shyness. He replied slowly, "Well, I had help," he said simply and was about to go on, but the sudden lump in his throat stopped him and he remained silent.

Ilia, catching his hesitation and perhaps interrupting it differently, reached over to take his hand. Looking down, she continued. "I must admit, your bravery will become legendary. Everyone knows that, you know. It's easy to see it just by looking at you. Even when I didn't remember you, I knew that when I saw you that I felt... no, I knew that you were a hero: that you were meant to help people and for greatness!" Biting her lower lip, Ilia struggled to find her words and giggled at herself to which Link smiled softly at. Still, he took his hand from hers to idly toss a pebble into the waters of the spring.

"Ilia. A lot has happened during my travels. So much in fact that really... I can't fathom it all looking back on it. But, it's, ah… going to take some time I think until I get used to everything again. I mean… I've been through a lot, after all." That was as close as Link had wanted to get to the issue at hand and he had hoped that Ilia would understand like Rusl had. Unfortunately she would not let him off that lightly.

Leaning closer, concern and perhaps slight hurt in her expression, Ilia tried to dig deeper. "What do you mean, Link? I can understand that you've been through more things than anyone here could comprehend. Hell! The things that I've seen I'm sure are only a fraction of what you probably have! So... why won't you tell me? I can help you, I'm sure I can! I mean, we used to tell… or rather, we do tell each other everything! Don't we? If we talked about it all, maybe it'll get better for you." Crossing her arms, Ilia pouted slightly before smirking aside at her friend. "Face it! You've always just bottled everything up. You never want to talk about things, but I feel that this stuff... you should try. I here for you, you know that, right?"

Link could not answer her, not this time. His hesitation seemed enough to inform Ilia of that; however, the sigh he heard from her made him frown with guilt. The guilt that he felt was not because Ilia was clearly disappointed that he would not open up to her, but more so due to the fact that he felt no heartache that he had disappointed her. That confused him and he couldn't understand why.

"I'm just asking for a bit of time, Ilia, okay? Just to figure things out for myself. That's all I'm asking for. Please? I don't think that's asking for a lot. I'll be alright, I promise. It's just... weird to be back home, I guess."

Looking up at her, Link caught the fleeting sight of his friend's frown before Ilia's expression changed to a smile and she nodded. Returning her smile was enough for the girl to reach over and hug him, whispering into his ear, "I am so glad that you're home, Link."

While Link hugged her back, he found himself thinking if he truly was as glad as she was.

That conversation was almost five months ago now.

During that time Link had indeed returned to his rustic routine. It was why he now found himself sitting on the grass of the goat pasture with Epona grazing a few feet away from him. He had been trying, he truly had, to move on and relax back into his life. Link truly wanted to return to life that he had before monsters destroyed Ordon's pleasant and safe reality and brought with them Twilight to the doorstep of the Ordona Province. The children of Ordon had been kidnapped and Link had been imprisoned. He had awakened he found himself changed into a wolf, a form courtesy of the piece of the Triforce that resided in his hand that had protected him from the darkness of the Twilight Realm. It was as a wolf that he had met the person who was now a constant presence in his thoughts.

"And to think, I was her "slave" at the start," Link thought aloud, smirking at the memory. His musings were disturbed when the eighteen year old's attention turned to the sky. He saw a black spot against the vast azure, which he recognized to be the hawk that he knew he could summon with some Hawk Grass. The fact that he had heard the bird's call from such a far distance only provided more evidence as to why the villagers worried about Link. Maybe slightly feared him too. Having been able to transform into a wolf had been useful in situations and while Link had grown accustomed at being a four-legged beast, the transformation was only supposed to be when he came into contact with the Twilight. However, it would seem that the darkness had imprinted itself upon his soul and body.

Smells and sounds sometimes struck Link's senses too strongly, occasionally resulting in him having to cover his ears. Others looked on in concern but were unable to help him. Not disclosing what was wrong with him only made matters worse. The villagers had no explanation as to why Link would sometimes sniff the air or even growl. Rusl, worried for Link's well-being but wanting to give the youth time to open up on his own, tried to quell his fellow villagers' concerns. He reassured them that Link was fine. In truth, how was Link supposed to explain himself? How does someone tell people that there had been times on his journey where he could turn into a wolf and that's actually how he managed to find the children and Ilia? How there had been a chuck of Shadow Crystal within his body? And, oh! Also when he was a wolf, how he was also ridden by a magical imp who turned out to be the Twilight Princess?

"Midna," he whispered, watching the hawk soar across the sky before disappearing from sight. A breeze shifted his dirty blond hair. Link reached up and rubbed his eyes before lying back upon the ground with a grunt. Too many nights now since his return Link had been awoken by nightmares. His dark dreams were riddled with monsters or an endless darkness that threatened to drown him. Then were times where the psychotic figure of Zant chased him through Dark Fog or how the thunderous, dark chuckle of Ganondorf shook him so violently that he sprung awake. Those nightmares were the worst of all. It seemed that no matter how hard Link fought or how many enemies he slew, his dreams usually ended with Midna leaving his side. Then Link suddenly would have to face all those evils by himself, eventually becoming overwhelmed, and the darkness slowly swallowed him.

Never could Link forget the last time he saw Midna. She had been leaving the Light World for her own and in her wake, the Mirror of Twilight shattered. She chose to end all connections between their worlds and Link would never see her again. His friend, who at first he couldn't stand but then grew to trust, was gone... just like that. After all they had went through, she just left! She gave a simple good-bye and then nothing! Link had been left standing aside Princess Zelda, both in a state of shock, until he fell to his knees in quiet despair. The princess had tried to comfort him, but Link had respectfully dismissed her efforts. Five months later, Link hadn't quite gotten over Midna leaving yet. He knew that he probably would never see her again and that caused his heart to hurt. In the end Link just really missed his friend. That was probably part of the reason why he couldn't sleep at night: why his thoughts brought with them such a sad expression to his face. When he thought about her, Link found it difficult to visualize Midna anything but the snarky, little imp he had developed a deep sense of trust and friendship with. The tall beauty of a princess who had said farewell to him seemed like a stranger... a close friend turned stranger.

While it had been five months since he returned to Ordon and his "big adventure" had ended, Link hadn't remained in the province for long. In fact, a couple weeks after he had returned Link couldn't resist the temptation. He was feeling anxious and in an act of weakness, he reopened the chest in his cellar. Once more he donned the clothes of a hero and memories flooded his mind: his numerous battles, the grandeur of Lake Hylia, the aridness of the Great Desert, the desolation of Hyrule Castle, and the resolution to become a hero once more. Link had slipped quietly away with Epona. He intended to do so without detection, but unfortunately met Ilia on his way out. He expected for her to stop him yet only received a nod of understanding and a simple "Hurry home, Link" from her.

His departure was narrowly missed by Fado, who had come up to Link's house to see why the Hylian hadn't shown up for his ranch duties. Spurring Epona to go faster, Link made it as far as Faron Spring before he reigned his mare in to stop. Staring out into the forest, Link discovered that couldn't do it... what for? What was he doing and why? For months he fought monsters and yearned to return home and he had, yet here he was running off towards the great unknown without giving anyone a word. Could he just abandon the people who loved and cared about him just like that? He had no plan, no clear reason to leave... just the driving burn in his chest that told him to keep going.

That day, Link, Saviour of Hyrule, wept in silence with only Epona as witness. He wept for himself, for his confusion, his guilt, and for Midna. His tears dripped down into the waters of Faron Spring and unbeknownst to him, Faron the Spirit of Light was drawn to his tears and pitied the hero from the Realm of Spirits. In time, Link dried his tears and turned his mare to head back towards Ordon. He belonged there not out on heroic adventures. Hyrule was moving on from her days of Twilight and so should he. When Link returned no one knew of his near-departure, save for Ilia, but she never brought up his almost-departure again. Back in his cellar, Link once again he shut away his Hero's Clothes and returned to his ranch work.

"Link! Hurry up, would'ya!?"

Link's eyes snapped open and he bolted upright, unaware that he had begun to fall asleep. He saw Fado waving at him from across the field. A glance at the sky revealed that the day was coming to an end and the herd needed to be moved into the barn. Link raised his hand to acknowledge the other before grabbing his book to stuff it into his satchel and stood to mount Epona. Taking the reins in hand, Link made fast work of his farmhand duties. In no time at all, Fado was shutting the barn gates and dusting his hands upon his pants.

"Well now, Link! That's a fine job you did! I can't tell you how nice it is having you back, you know? You and all of the other children, Goddesses bless all those tykes! I gotta say, life's back to normal, don't ya think, eh?"

"Yeah. It is, isn't it?"

Clapping Epona lightly on her rump, Fado grinned up at Link. The young man nodded and smiled back before bidding the rancher goodnight and trotted out of the ranch. Descending the hill into the main centre of Ordon Village, Link slowed his mount to a walk and here and there he raised his hand in greeting or gave a nod. Link did not stop for a chat and no one tried to have one with him. It had taken a couple of months, but eventually everyone realized that Link wanted space. Even Colin, Malo, and the other children didn't come by his house as often as they had before. While he hadn't intentionally wanted to push everyone away, that's what had been happening. As much as Link tried to vouch for his reasons, he found that more often than naught that he liked it this way.

Link wanted to be alone.

The hero preferred not to be bothered. A lot of his alone time was spent practicing his swordsmanship with the Hylian blade Princess Zelda had given to him, among other titles and honours that he more or less had tried to decline. After months of training with it, the sword still felt awkward in his hand: a dull piece of steel rather than the pulsing extension of his arm of that was the Master Sword. The sword of legend had been returned to the ruined Temple of Time, as advised by the princess, for his adventures and need of it ought to have been over. While he was the Hero Chosen by the Gods and only he could wield the legendary blade, Hyrule was once again at peace and the sword was returned to its legendary pedestal. That meant, however, that any other sword felt just wrong in his grip.

As he rode towards home, Link recalled one afternoon not long after he had returned to Ordon. Link had been practicing with the Hylian sword then too. His intention was seeing to the death of a frail scarecrow, but every swing of the sword felt wrong and only spurred the man's anger. With every slice, strike, slash, and swing, Link's expression had darkened with fury. His mouth shifted into a snarl of annoyance and his eyes blazed with impatience and irritation. With one final slash and a mighty yell, Link succeeded in hewing his target in two at the waist. Breathing heavily, the hero watched his foe fall. The damned scarecrow seemed to mock him, even when it was splinters on the forest floor. Its faceless head stared at him and Link recoiled when a maniacal laughter suddenly filled his head. The man had gasped, dropped his sword, and fell to his knees with his hands tightly covering his ears. He shut his eyes tight and trembled. With his pulse thundering in his ears, the cackling soon died away and Link coughed and sputtered. He was free of the memory of the tall, dark figure of Ganondorf but was coated in sweat. The dark king who plagued Link's nightmares was also beginning to invade his waking hours as well. Link lack of sleep had been tearing down at the hero's senses and defences and affecting his psyche. Heaving breaths shook Link's body and deep growls rumbled from his chest. with twitching fingers he had reached over to weakly grip the scarecrow's head. Once he held it, Link began to numbly beat it with his fist again and again.

"It's over! You're DEAD! It's over!" he mumbled again and again, angrily punching at the straw-filled sack that was the scarecrow's head. "I'm not a wolf! I'm not Hyrule's hero anymore! It's all over! I'm just-! I'm just..."

Just an ordinary farm boy.

Pausing with his punches, Link remained where he was for a long while. Kneeling on the ground with his head hanging low, he looked as if he were in mourning for the murder he had just committed: the killing of an innocent scarecrow. Angry tears rolled rebelliously down his face and he wept in silence. Eventually, as the day's shadows grew longer, Link stopped shaking and was able to take a deep breath to collect his wits back together again. He did not move, however. Why should he? He failed to find a reason to move from that spot. Why? Why should he get up? To do what? For the first time in months, Link didn't know what to do next. He was tired of expecting Midna to appear and smack him while she ordered that he get going. He was tired... of everything. He was beginning to resent everything he had fought so hard to protect and he didn't seem to care that he recognized this newfound bitterness in his heart.

Midna was gone. She had got what she wanted and left. The curse upon her had been broken and she had helped Link stop Ganondorf to save Hyrule. Midna had left to get on with her own life, so why couldn't Link? Why couldn't he shake the feeling that he was uncomfortable in the one place in all of Hyrule that he had always called home?

"Why can't things be like the way they were before?"

It wasn't until he felt a nudge on his back did a spark of life appear back in his eyes. Link turned to see Epona's majestic head looming over him and his weary, tear-stained eyes met her beautiful deep brown gaze. It was his noble steed's gentle nuzzles that gave the Hylian the strength to stand. Letting the sack-of-a-head roll from his lap, Link stiffly got up, dusted off his pants, and wrapped his arms around his mare's neck to bury his face into her mane.

"What's the matter with me?" he had muttered to her, but Epona had given him no answer that day not any day since then.

Riding up the small hill, Link finally came into sight of his house and he stared up at the dwelling with an indifferent expression. He even dared a glance at the fallen figure of the scarecrow that had remained untouched since its murder months before. Leaves had shifted to partly hide the maimed body, as if the forest was slowly trying to help him hide his trauma. Typically after a day's work a man would be glad to return home and be able to eat and rest. Nowadays, however, Link simply followed the motions of dismounting from his horse and unsaddling her. His movements were stiff and mechanical while his thoughts whirled and tumbled into their nightly pit of despair.

These days if he wasn't practicing with his sword, busying himself with Epona, or some other mundane task, Link struggled with feeling anxious and restless. He had a growing sense of paranoia and the even the predictable sounds of his forest home made him tense. He tried his best to hide it from the rest of the villagers. His adventures had after all not only transformed him into a wolf but also into a warrior, a hero nevertheless. As Link unsaddled Epona, he knew that he was living a lie but continued to numbly go through the motions. Whoever heard of a hero who was able to retired to a mundane life of concord? A hero never lost his sense of guard, morality, and justice. Herding goats wasn't really that brave or trying. Link desired a greater challenge than what Ordon was offering him. It did not matter how much he tried or how much time he afforded, but Link was simply no longer just be a farmhand. He had seen too much, had accomplished too much. Nowadays he was finding that the life he used to yearn for back when he first began his adventures no longer held any comfort nor lustre for him.

"Some things, you just can't change," he mumbled, stroking his horse's neck until she bumped him with her nose in affection.

Link had raised Epona since she had been a yearling. She had been a fine though spirited young filly, with a beautiful coat, long legs, and a strong disposition. With time, patience, and a lot of bruises did Link manage to gain her trust and eventually broke her in himself. The mare was about four now, healthy and young. Link had considered in the past breeding her knowing that she would make a good mother and any offspring she bore would make fine mounts. However, his recent role as a hero had put an end to that idea. The man trusted the horse with his life and he had relied on her plenty of times as of late to carry him to safety and breeding her would put an end to that. Call him selfish, but now that he has lost Midna, Link couldn't lose Epona either... if one could call her foaling as losing her. Still, there were always the risk of losing a mare in birth and the thought of losing Epona was too terrible to comprehend. He didn't want her to change, even to become a mother.

On the other hand, what was he thinking? Change happened all the time! Link had just found himself in a rut in his life and was being pessimistic: a quality uncommon to his usual nature. Frowning and letting his head sink, Link dramatically fell over when Epona nudged him. The mare snorted with displeasure and sniffed at her fallen master in the tall grass at her feet. Eyes closed, Link remained as still as he could while he fought against reacting to the tickling ability of Epona's soft muzzle. The horse's lips smacked against his cheek and his nose was in danger of being nipped. Peeking a blue eye open, Link met his mare's big and bright, brown eye and a chuckle bubbled past his lips when she blinked at him.

"I'm fine," he told her, reaching up to obediently respond to her call for affection. "Yeah, I'm fine..." he repeated, his tone lower and his smile faded.

That wasn't true. Hell, sometimes Link wasn't even sure what was real anymore. Occasionally when he was out in the goat field, lounging in the grass like he had been today, Link had to ask himself if Midna had actually been real. What if he had somehow dreamt up everything? The Master Sword, Ganondorf, and everything else that had actually happened... what if it had been some head trauma-induced dream? Link had come full circle, from simple farmhand to hero and back again. It was only the faint birthmark of the Triforce upon his left hand that was a physical reminder that it all had happened. The few scars he had sustained could be dismissed as the consequences of living a rustic life and playing with swords. If all of his adventures had been a dream... the end result would still be the same. He'd still be just where he was now.

What does it mean if it all means nothing?

Shifting in the tall grass, Link continued to idly scratch Epona's neck while she pleasantly began munching on the foliage. From his vantage point, Link didn't have much of a view of the sky but from what he could see, the creeping, rosy tendrils of sunset were slowly tainting the rich blue of the day. He had to get up, get things done like grooming Epona, giving her hay, and getting inside to eat for himself. By the Goddesses... that did not sound exciting at all.

Relenting to his inner sense of responsibility, the Hylian sat up with grass in his hair. Epona happily helped him remove with a tugging pull of her lips on his dirty blond hair. Chucking again, Link gently shoved her aside and stood, smoothing his wild locks and set to work. Grooming Epona thoroughly before leaving the mare to her hay, Link climbed up to his house to begin the monotonous routine of lighting a couple candle and his hearth's fire so that he prepare his evening meal and finally head to bed for yet another night of nightmares.

Retrieving his tinder cloth and flint, Link knelt before the hearth and built up his kindling. Just as he was about to strike his steel and flint, a knock came upon his door. Annoyance crept into the Hylian expression as looked up from where he was kneeling before his hearth.

"Who is it?"

"Link! It's me. Let me in, would'ya?"

Hearing Ilia's voice caused the young man to momentarily frown. Recently he found himself slightly avoiding the girl. Ilia had done him justice as his friend by having not barraged him with questions, but she had made it clear that her feelings for him were more than friendly. Link already knew this and for a long time had hoped for her affections. Given these past few months, however, he found that while he could kiss her (which happened on occasion now), he did not think of her as he once had. He had yet to tell her this, however. Getting up and walking to the door, he unlatched it to reveal Ilia's smile to which he returned. Standing aside, he allowed her to come in. Shutting the door, the youth barely had the latch closed before he found himself in her embrace.

"Ilia?! Ah... how are you?" he asked in surprise, trying to sound casual and gently settling his hands upon her back.

"Fine," she replied shortly. "Link, we need to talk."

"Oh," he breathed, feeling his dread stir within his chest. "What do you mean ta-?"

Link was cut off by soft fingers to his lips and, confused, he followed Ilia when she led him to sit before the cold hearth. She gestured for him to sit, which he wordlessly did. Picking up the flint and steel he had left on the floor, Ilia began striking the metal to spark the tinder cloth as she spoke.

"Okay, so here it is. These past five months I have been nothing but patient with you, I think anyways. I've tried to be there for you when you need me and I admit that I'm happy to be with you. But, Link, I can't... I can't stand it anymore!" Pausing to blow on her small flame, Ilia watched as smoke began to billow and signalling the life of a new fire. She looked over at Link with an expression that used to make him flinch, but now he remained unfazed. "I can't stand the waiting! The endless silence and the air of dismissal you seem to give the entire village these days without actually doing anything... I don't understand it. I mean, what on earth could have happened to you for you to become so distant and why won't you talk to me?! It's driving me crazy insane, Link! And it doesn't help in the least that you seem to have no idea that you're doing it! Well, I mean you could, but that would be so cruel, especially for you."

The more Ilia spoke, the more frantic and angry her tone became until she was gazing at Link with desperate, angry eyes. It was clear that she had been bottling these words up for a while and they had all come out in sort of a heated rush. Wetting his lips, Link looked away from her only to have his cheeks taken and forcefully turned back to face her.

"Oh no! No, you will look at me, and I want answers, Link! Just… please, let me in, let me help you! Please, just give me a reason not to worry! But I am worried, Link, worried about you and about us! I mean..." Ilia paused to take a deep breath, her eyes upon her growing fire. "I can't help this feeling in the pit of my stomach that you're going to leave... again. For good..." The end of her sentence was barely louder than a whisper and filled with a storage of insecurity and worry.

"Ilia," Link began slowly, trying to find the words. "We've talked about this before, I just need time, okay? I went through a lot and still don't know if I want to talk about it all. I don't think I'm asking for a lot with that. I admit, you've been great and so patient, but... all I'm asking for is time and... well, I just don't know how long I'm asking for."

Ilia frowned and sighed. "I know," she relented, "I just... I just want to help you, but how can I when you won't let me in? You won't let anyone in and I'm sorry to say but if you haven't noticed, the entire village is worried too, Link."

"I know," Link mumbled, reaching up to reach the back of his neck, trying not to get annoyed about this entire conversation. He could understand Ilia's feelings and appreciated her concern, but fuck! He didn't want to deal with this sort of thing, not now anyways! Or... ever! Maybe...? Running his fingers through his hair, that small voice at the back of his mind argued that if not now, then when? How was it fair to keep Ilia in the dark when it was clear she wanted to know more and help him?

"Ilia," he began, but was quickly cut off because apparently Ilia wasn't done.

"Oh, and then there's the whole... Well, I don't even know what to call it, but sometimes the way you act..." Ilia clearly was stumbling to find the right words and it was then that Link was starting to get annoyed because he knew very well what she was referring to.

"What?" He pushed, arching a brow somewhat critically.

Ilia, her expression hardening to match his, lifted her chin and in a steady tone said, "Sometimes you act like a dog or something, and yes I mean that literally! People are talking, Link. You've been heard... growling. Actually growling! People swear that they hear howling from your house at night and more than once Sera has seen you talking to her cat. Like... having an actual conversation." Crossing her arms Ilia leaned forward, forcing Link to sit back and in a louder tone the young woman continued. "I mean what the hell is up with that, Link? And why the hell can't you tell me? I really want to understand, but you sure are making it difficult to be with-!"

Ilia faded to silence, her eyes narrowed dangerously and her lips quivered. Link, however, being as oblivious as he could sometimes be, failed to see that his friend was only trying to hold back her tears. When he spoke, anger burned in his voice.

"What? Difficult to be with me? Well sorry to burst your bubble, Ilia, but perhaps it's for those very reasons that I don't want to talk about it! Just look how you react! Maybe I am going crazy, but I've been through hell and back if you haven't figured that out! Why in all of Hyrule would you want to be with me if-!"

Without warning or given any chance of time for Link to finish his tirade, Ilia leaned forward and forcefully pressed her lips upon his. Taking only a moment to react, Link kissed back like he usually did. He did enjoy the taste of her lips and he offered her as equal passion as she was giving him. While he wrapped his arms hungrily around her, Link dared to hope. Link hoped that he would once again feel something for her that resembled what he used to, like before when he was nothing more than a farmhand. Did he enjoy brooding and being as vague as Ilia accused him of being? Not entirely, there was a part of him that wanted to be normal again, but call that wishful thinking. Still, he had been trying and if that entailed deepening his kissing as Ilia gently pushed him onto his back to practically straddle him, then so be it. Ironic though, him baring the Triforce of Courage: he couldn't even confess up to his best friend that he didn't love her anymore. Link knew that he was being cowardly, leading Ilia on with the way he was kissing her now and the way his fingers slid across the back of her neck.

Kissing Ilia helped him forget his own troubles and if he told her that, she'd probably hate him for it. He didn't want that... he didn't want to feel any of what he was feeling. The fire Ilia helped create in his blood burned away his troubles... but they always came back after she left.

'I probably would have told Midna,' he thought in spite of his current situation, causing him to pause. Ilia only responded by caressing his cheek to coax him back into her rhythm.

The heat of the growing fire in the hearth mirrored the heat Link felt in his body, his masculinity responding to Ilia's lips. His hands slid to her hips to gently hold her as she caressed his face, a bit strongly if his mind cared to think about it. The first time their lips met was probably around a month after he had returned. In those early days, Link had found himself greatly struggling to return to rustic tasks, such as being still to watch the goats, fishing, or even carry on a conversation (not that he was great at that in the first place). The children bothered him with questions and begged of him to show him his skills and his various items. When it came to their inquiries of his quest, Link only gave fragments and half-answers. Admittedly, Link's first kiss with Ilia had slightly been a mistake. She had been asking him questions, even though he had asked her not to, but when she wouldn't take no for an answer he had just kissed her spontaneously to keep her quiet.

It just... happened!

He hadn't intended for it to but just when Link had tried to pull away, Ilia had thrown her arms around him to deepen the kiss and... Link followed suit. Over the months their tender kissing eventually intensified and their endeavours had lengthened to full make-out sessions. It was all very nice, satisfying even. Link enjoyed feeling Ilia so close, the warmth of her skin. Many times he reasoned this was because of how he felt for Ilia. Then there was the small voice that suggested to him that what he enjoyed was the escape: the company of a woman and nothing else. They had done a fair bit, actually, and Link had learned to revel in the soft moans that Ilia uttered. He had yet to gain access to her pants due to her shyness, but she seemed to enjoy his affections nonetheless. Contradictorily, Ilia would offer to service Link until he could barely stand.

The young man never considered that she did this to keep him from leaving.

However, all of their trysts were all done in secret. Link was adamant to not let their secret affair be anything more than that, a secret. He had argued to Ilia that he had enough attention on his at it is and he wanted what they had to just be them for now. His reasons seems to satisfy Ilia, as far as she let on, but it did mean that they had to sneak off to either Link's house or a secluded part of the woods to engage in anything. Many times now Link had managed to get Ilia more or less naked, himself included, yet something or someone had always stopped them from going all the way. Mainly, Ilia made excuses to keep Link from accessing her pleasure palace. Not that Link didn't want it or anything, same goes for Ilia for that matter, but perhaps it was the guilt that plagued his dark thoughts that always stopped him from pressuring Ilia to go further or even try and take her virginity. That ought to be done by someone who loved her and who wasn't... using her. Link would accept her kisses, her moistened fingers or her mouth, but had recently stopped offering to reciprocate altogether.

Some hero he was...

A small moan escaped his throat that turned into a soft growl when he felt her hand at his pants' sash. He instinctively tugged her hand back. Their kiss ended with a gasp as Ilia jerked back in surprise to look down at him, confused and slightly worried.

"What's wrong?" he asked, panting, his tone light but the question held hidden weight. He hoped she wouldn't bring up the fact that he growled while knowing full well that it was the reason she had stopped kissing him. Well, that reason and the fact that he stopped her from trying undo his pants.

"What do you mean?" she answered, glancing at his hand firmly upon her wrist while a deep blush bloomed in her cheeks and her eyes twitched with shyness.

Catching her glance, the heat within him dulled and he quickly released his grip on her arm. Link looked up at her with growing suspicion. "Ilia? I think... I don't think we should continue..." he said slowly.

"Well..." she began, before shrugging slightly. "Why not?"

Sighing, Link shook his head. "No, Ilia, not like this…"

"What do you mean "not like this"?" Her response ringed with slight annoyance and perhaps panic.

Link was aware that they were both thinking the same thing, or at least he hoped so.

The Hylian leaned up on his forearm to better look up at Ilia as he said, "I mean, this! What are we doing here? We were just arguing and you're mad and... this isn't what you want, is it? You deserve... Ilia, you deserve better than this. Than... me."

His question almost came out like an accusation and Link regretted his words when he saw the hurt and embarrassment flash across his friend's face. Frantically she looked around, wetting her lips, before quickly wrapping her arms around his neck so tightly he gasped in surprise.

"Wh-what am I doing here? What do I want?!" she repeated into his hair, sounding frantic and unsure of herself. "Link, you stupid idiot, can't you see that I love you? I do deserve you! That's why I'm here, to be with you! I want you, I want to be with you! Please, please don't leave! Stop pushing me away and just be with me, please!"

The hero's eyes grew wide from shock, and lack of oxygen, and he froze. Once upon a time, not too long ago sadly, he would have been over the moon and thanking the goddesses upon hearing Ilia say those words. Now, however, all he could focus on was shifting slightly so he could breathe better in the girl's grasp. He could feel her shaking, desperate and afraid. Naturally he wrapped his arms around her to try and soothe her, though he knew that what he had to say would procure the exact opposite. It was time to be a hero and make the hard but right choice.

"Ilia. I don't think... Are you just saying that just so I won't leave?" he asked softly.

"Then... you really are leaving."

Her reply came quick, full of knowing and full of sadness. Link felt her composure sink a bit as the reality of her words weighed down. However, the Hylian had an inkling that what Ilia really wanted to say was to confirm that he didn't love her, rather than him leaving. Frowning, Link sighed, knowing he would never be able to say that to her because he did love her, though not like what she felt towards him. Stroking the back of her hair, Link opened his lips to speak after he felt her hands slide to his back from his neck.

"Yes," he said simply, being more honest to her in that single word than he probably had been in the past months. That single word answered more than he wanted to think about.

"For how long?" she mumbled pitifully into his hair, her back tense with suppressed sobs.

"I don't know-"

"Will you ever come back?"

Her question brought Ilia back to face him, her eyes brimming with tears that Link realized probably weren't the first because of him. Reaching up, the man caressed her cheek for a second before whispering, "I… don't know."

Wiping back her tears, Ilia looked away. She took in a breath to try and remain strong before slowly placing both her hands upon Link's chest, adjusting her position on his lap. When she spoke next, her words were quiet and faint, as if she had spoken them a hundred times to herself so that now they barely held any meaning.

"Do you love me?"

She had said it, dragged it out in the open. Link wished she hadn't. Pain flashed across his face but he could not lie to himself or especially to her, she deserved more than that after all. "Ilia, I-" he breathed, unsure where to put his hands so he brought one to raise her chin to make her look at him.

The loud slap that suddenly bit his cheek was indication enough that he had her attention. Blinking, the Hylian resisted the urge to rub the sting from Ilia's hand and his guilt deepened when her sobs intensified. "Why not, Link?! You saved me! You kiss me! We mess around and I-! But you don't feel anything for me?! I thought you did, or hoped you did... I may have lost my memory, but I remember us... You-" She would have gone on Link was sure if her sobbing hadn't stolen her capacity for words.

"I think that… for a long time I did love you, Ilia, and I still do..." Link finally said, taking her face with his hand to hold her close. "It's just... different now. It's different because I'm different now. I now know that I'll never go back to who I was before. The Link you knew, the Link that tried to save you and Colin from getting kidnapped in the first place, that Link was swallowed up by the Twilight and I don't think he never returned from it. He's... gone... that innocent happy-go-lucky boy who loved you is gone and I'm... all that's left, and you deserve so much better than me! Perhaps I didn't fully know it myself or maybe I was too afraid to say it out loud until now or maybe it was both... I don't know! What I do know is that I will always care about you... I hope you know that."

Retrieving his handkerchief from his pocket, the young man tried to help dry her tears but she swatted him away, leaving him only to continue. "When you were taken, I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. I knew that I would do anything, give anything, to save you. But, when I found you, Ilia, in Castle Town, you didn't know me and... I found the pain of knowing that I may never get the chance to tell you how I felt almost overwhelming... I thought that I had lost my chance."

Taking a moment to pause because his own voice was beginning to crack, Link took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Feeling the pricks of tears but he could no stop the truth spilling from his lips even if he wanted to. "I fought so hard! I killed many enemies to ensure your safety! Yours and everyone else's. Then I realized that I was fighting for my life, both literally and figuratively... I guess. You, Beth, Colin, Malo, and Talo, you all mean so much to me and you all are a part of my life here in Ordon. I-I mean… when you regained your memory, it was as if I suddenly got my life back! I was so happy and for a moment it felt that all I had fought for was finally over, because I had been fighting for you most of all. I wanted to tell you how I felt right then and there, but even then I couldn't find the words... I just held you and told you that everything was going to be okay."

Ilia hiccupped a tiny smile and dabbed away at her eyes. They both were remembering their tender moment in Renado's hut. Link hadn't kissed Ilia then, but embraced her with relief and silent affection. The moment of joint memory gave Link a moment to collect himself, his voice changing into a more serious tone.

"But... it wasn't over, Ilia. The fighting, the Twilight, the threat to Hyrule... I had so much more ahead of me beyond that moment. I had more to do and the more I did the more I realized that… I could never go back to my old life, never return to being carefree or settle down, not in Ordon anyway. I tried to lie to myself that I was mistaken. I tried! Oh Goddesses, I tried and have been trying but, I can't settle. Even now, with Hyrule safe... I fear in my heart that it will never truly be over for me. I can't be here, I can't keep lying, because that also means that I'm lying to you and if I can't be here then I can't-"

"Be with me."

Ilia finished Link's sentence and she looked at him with heavy eyes. It took all of Link's resolve to return her heartbroken gaze. Finally he was owning up to his feelings and would stand by his words.

Swallowing, Link was unsure how to go on from there. He had finally told the truth as unfair to Ilia as it was, but she had the right to hear it. "I thought if I tried to go back to my life in Ordon that I could forget how to be hero. That if I was here with you like how I used to dream about, that I wouldn't want to keep fighting. But there's still a darkness in me that... I haven't beaten and I don't know if I ever will. I don't want you to get hurt because of it. I hoped that your kisses would help keep the nightmares away but... they haven't. I know if I stay here I would be living a lie. Ilia, I tried, for you, I tried, but...!"

Any other words Link could think of he knew would only hurt her more, make her cry, and make him look more like a selfish ass. He didn't know how to apologize or make her understand, though he knew that he had no right to try to make her. Hell, Link wouldn't blame Ilia if she never wanted to speak or see him again after this.

The boy was saved from speaking when Ilia suddenly planted a soft kiss upon his lips, much to his surprise.

"Wherever you go, Link, know that to me... you will always be my hero. You're my best friend and for that reason alone, I will always love you. I just… hope that you won't totally forget me or your old life when you leave."

Her words were breathed upon his lips lightly and delicately, but they struck his heart like arrows. Link felt like she was banishing him. Before he could respond or stop her, Ilia stood from his lap and made her way towards the door. "Ilia!" Link called, causing her to pause though she didn't look back. After a moment Link said in a low tone, "I'm sorry. I… "

She did not allow his to finish as he was cut off by her leaving and the slam of his door in her wake. Link did not go after her. Instead, Link sat there facing his hearth, the taste of Ilia's tears still on his lips, with a growing sense of restlessness within his chest. It felt as though a curtain had been pulled away from his mind and with it a number of questions that had remained unanswered disappeared. It became clear to Link of what he must do from then on and what path he must take.

He had no reason to remain here any longer.

In the morning, Link would say his farewells and leave Ordon. He'd set out once again in the wide world to return to his duty as a hero of Hyrule and perhaps discover the true reason why he had just broken Ilia's heart. Perhaps... he would discover why darkness remained with him and what called to him from beyond.