Episode 41:

One Grew Over the Kuno's Nest, Part 2

FEATURING THE VOICE TALENTS OF:

TED COLE as Tatewaki Kuno
TERYL ROTHERY as Kodachi Kuno
TERRY KLASSEN as Toramasa
ROBERT O. SMITH as Sasuke Sarugakure, Genma Saotome
SARAH STRANGE as Ranma (male)
MICHAEL DOBSON [listed as MIKEY DOBSON] as Kenma Saotome
KOZO SHIOYA as Legendary Phoenix
MYRIAM SIROIS as Akane Tendo
TERRY MACGOVERN as Jinn
LISA BUNTING as Nodoka Saotome
WILLOW JOHNSON as Kasumi Tendo
DAVID KAYE as Soun Tendo
MICHAEL DONOVAN as Ryoga Hibiki (Wilbur, human)
ANGELA COSTAIN as Nabiki Tendo
VENUS TERZO as Ranma Saotome (female)
KELLY SHERIDAN as Ukyo Kuonji
CATHY WESELUCK as Shampoo, Atsuko
SAFFRON HENDERSON as Tsubasa Kurenai
and CHIARA ZANNI as Lum

AND SO, A FEW MINUTES LATER…

"So that's your problem, then?" Lum asked, having picked the boys up in her ship, and discussing the situation over a fresh pint.

"Yeah; apparently we need some way to make that glorified pillow stuffing take off," explained Ranma. "There's a recipe for growth pills to make it get bigger, but maybe…you might have something to duplicate the pills?"

"Oh, well that's easy." the alien girl stated. "I actually have a food replicator in my ship's cabin."

"Really? That's great!" Kenma exclaimed as he handed over the ingredient scroll. "Think you could work with this?"

"Sure, I'll feed it into the computer. But you'll have to find somebody else to actually make the pills," Lum said while she looked over the scroll and punched in the data.

"Good thing we know two people who could make them!" said Ranma.

MEANWHILE, AT UCCHAN'S…

"They did what to Ranma-honey?" exclaimed Ukyo, after hearing Sasuke's recollection of the events which had transpired.

"I know, I'm just as shocked as you are!" the ninja responded. "So naturally, I figured that if anyone could help resolve his predicament, it would be you!"

"Of course! I'm always down to help Ranma-honey." the tomboy chef proclaimed.

"That's a relief!" beamed Sasuke. "That Ranma sure does know how to pick 'em!"

Later, at the Cat Café…

Shampoo, Cologne and Tsubasa were closing up shop for the night, when Sasuke came a-knocking with his message a while later.

"Wait!" he wheezed. "I come bearing an important message! It concerns one Kenma Saotome…!"

Quicker than the eye could see, Shampoo was unlocking the door. "...enlighten me," she responded, her tone gentle yet firm.

And so Sasuke DID enlighten her, in great and notable detail, too.

"Of course I'll help. Making pills should be a piece of cake!" Shampoo said enthusiastically.

"I'll help, too. I've made more than a few pills in my time." Cologne chimed in.

"Oh, bless you both!" Sasuke beamed. "That Kenma's a lucky fellow!"

"And I can make the delivery!" Tsubasa added.

Sasuke nodded cheerfully. "Splendid! Utterly splendid!" he beamed. "That Kenma really doesn't deserve someone like you."

"Let's agree to disagree, okay?" replied Shampoo.

THE NEXT DAY…

Kuno had to sleep in a tent, fraught with nightmares while the Phoenix gradually got further into his mind.

"Heheheh…Ranma Saotome, I have you now…" he chuckled to himself, flailing around in his blanket. "Perish, you arrogant brute…at the hilt of my blade…"

For reasons I can't quite explain, probably out of pity, Akane went to visit the tent, convinced that Ranma and Kenma might be out there as well.

Even if this IS Ranma's fault, I can't just let him suffer out here, being pecked to death by a caffeine-crazy woodpecker, Akane thought as she headed outside to the vacant lot.

"Ranma?" Akane whispered as she poked her head in. "Ranma?"

As the Phoenix squeezed its eyes open, it scanned over Akane's profile, as though it were conducting a scan of her person.

"Huh?" asked Akane, and suddenly, Kuno's body got to its feet, his eyes blank.

"YOU HAVE DARED TO TRESPASS WITHIN MY DOMAIN," it spoke in a combined voice. "AND FOR THIS, YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED SEVERELY."

Akane let out an ear-piercing scream as she dodged a swing of the bokken, and scurried for her life, Kuno following right behind her, swinging his blade and spewing flames from his mouth all the while.

Naturally, all this commotion woke up Ranma and Kenma—both of whom were onboard Lum's ship at the time.

"Honestly…don't some people know when to be quiet?" yawned Kenma.

"I know, right? Must be one of Akane's night terrors..." Ranma replied before realizing. "Wait! Akane wasn't here last time I checked."

"Hoo-boy…looks like we've got work to do!" Kenma exclaimed. "Time to pluck some feathers!"

"Yep! Let's go!" Ranma said, as they both exited the ship and hopped aboard the Nimbus, soaring off.

"AAH! Get away from me, you overstuffed cockatoo!" screamed Akane as she ran through the streets.

"This fool wishes to have you as his queen, but he hasn't two brain cells to rub together!" the Phoenix bellowed through Kuno's mouth. "Now just be a good girl, lie down, and accept your inevitable destruction!"

"Hey, Featherhead!" called Ranma's voice as he and Kenma leapt off the Nimbus and landed nearby.

"Oh, it's those two again!" squawked the bird through Kuno. "Well, you can take solace in the fact I have no interest in either of you anymore. I've found a new target."

"Me?" Akane asked in disbelief. "What the hell did I ever do?"

"Really?" the phoenix asked in response. "You really want to know? Because I've seen this idiot's memories, while not much goes on in here, but looking through his delusional fantasies shows me the truth!"

"Also, every day, the phoenix chooses a new target," said Mr. Toramasa. "Not that I believe in that sort of thing, mind you…"

Akane slammed her breakfast tray over his head. "Oh, trust me, when it comes after YOU, YOU'LL BE A BELIEVER!" she screamed.

"Well if that's the case, that gives me the perfect opportunity to do…THIS!" Ranma exclaimed as he wound up and sucker-punched Kuno, bird and all, into the sky.

"It's up…and, IT'S GOOD!" Kenma exclaimed, gazing up.

"Man, that felt good!" beamed Ranma, dusting his hands off.

"Hey, Ranma-honey!" called Ukyo's voice.

"Yoo-hoo! Special delivery!" Shampoo and Tsubasa both called out.

"Teyandee!" exclaimed Kenma, astonished.

"Huh! I wonder what they're doing up so early?" Akane wondered.

"I brought those grow-pills, just like you wanted!" Ukyo beamed, presenting a bagful of the pills, as well as a slingshot.

"I made some, too!" Shampoo added, presenting her bagful.

Kenma squinted. "...is it just me, or have Shampoo's girls gotten bigger?" he mused, rubbing his chin.

"Same thing for Ukyo," nodded Ranma.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: We're not kidding, guys. Go find the episode online if you can, and you'll see it! Cross the ol' heart!]

"Well, Ranma?!" fumed Akane.

"What?!" Ranma shot back. "We needed more just in case!"

"Besides, if you want to assign blame, pin it on him!" Kenma added, gesturing to Sasuke, who was at the other end of the vacant lot.

"You could've asked me to make some more!" the tomboy refuted.

"We already remembered the last time you made them, so we decided not to," Kenma replied.

"Well, I thought they worked just fine!" Akane said with a slight pout.

"Would that be before or after it started angrily shooting fire at you?" Kenma inquired.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault that the phoenix was a picky eater!" Akane said in her defense.

"No, but didn't anyone tell you those pills were supposed to be solid?" Kenma shot back. "The way Tweety reacted, you'd think he just swallowed a spoonful of castor oil!"

Suddenly, the bird and its host came plummeting towards the ground. As if on cue, everyone promptly stepped out of the way as Kuno crashed headfirst into the ground.

…and, as though nothing had happened, he sprang to his feet, unharmed. "I AM REVIVED…!" he bellowed.

"So, looks like we're fighting them both," Ranma remarked.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER…

"Saotomes Ranma and Kenma, you will step away from Akane Tendo, lest you rue the day you heard the name Kuno," declared Tatewaki.

"A little late for that," Ranma responded.

"You gotta get that bird off your head, man," Kenma added. "It's jacking into your mind."

"Hold your wretched tongue, lest I rip it out!" bellowed Kuno. "You are simply envious of the power which I possess!"

"Brother, know that I ask this rhetorically: just how stupid ARE you?" Kodachi exclaimed. "What happened to all that prattle about living by your own strength and accomplishing things through sheer determination? Are you so willing to forsake your principles just to gain a quick shortcut to more power?"

Everyone glanced at her.

Kodachi shrugged. "So I'm a lunatic with standards. Don't look so surprised, someone has to be the levelheaded member of the family…besides Mother," she replied.

"Guess we know which side of the family she takes after," Kenma whispered to Ranma as his brother nodded.

"Perhaps she makes a point," mused Kuno. "Maybe I should dislodge this—"

Suddenly, an energy jolt shot through Kuno, turning his eyes blank red.

"NO!" he boomed in a distorted voice. "The Phoenix has helped me see through your lies; you are all JEALOUS of my true potential! You wish to keep me as a blustering weakling for your amusement! Well, IT WON'T HAPPEN! All of you shall know my wrath, especially the 'fierce tigress' known as Akane Tendo!"

"Again, WHAT DID I DO?!" Akane shouted.

"You were in the line of sight," the Kuno-Phoenix hybrid responded. "Now I'm spoiling for a fight!"

"Now might be a good time to start slinging those pills, guys." Tsubasa suggested.

"Oh!" exclaimed Ranma. "Right! You ready, Ken?"

Kenma gave a firm nod. "Born ready, bro," he replied as he got out a blow dart tube and loaded it with pellets. "So let's go!"

With a shout, both brothers launched into battle, proceeding to unload a torrent of pellets upon the Phoenix, which used Kuno's bokken to slice them apart.

"Do you take me for a fool?" the Kuno-Phoenix hybrid asked. "I won't be coerced so easily!"

"Shoot…can't find a way in!" Ranma muttered.

"We need an opening, and fast!" Kenma added. "But how?"

"Well, the bird did say it was after Akane…" mused Shampoo.

"So this could be her chance to prove her usefulness!" Ukyo added with a grin.

"Hey!" Akane shouted. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Hay is for horses, and so is grass." said Shampoo.

"So hurry up…" Ukyo began as she picked Akane up.

"...AND MOVE YOUR ASS!" the girls shouted as they threw Akane screaming towards the Phoenix.

When Kuno saw Akane flying towards him, his eyes lit up with glee. "Ah, my beloved Akane Tendo! How I've longed for your presence!" he exclaimed happily as he sprang towards her.

While the Phoenix angrily squawked, Ranma started firing pellets down the bird's gullet once its mouth was open.

"Suck on THAT, sap!" he exclaimed confidently.

…and then the bird started to double in size. It was now 5 feet tall, covering Kuno's eyes.

"Gah! I can't see!" the wannabe swordsman exclaimed. "What's the meaning of this?!"

Akane glanced up at the massive bird, which shot her a death glare before bringing its massive beak down.

Of course, it was only through Akimitsu's intervention that Akane didn't immediately get shish-ka-beaked.

"You're not turnin' my girl into bird seed on my watch!" he declared.

Akane gazed up at her boyfriend, awestruck. It was like something out of those TV shows where the hero unexpectedly arrived in the nick of time.

"Aki, you bastard!" Ryoga shouted as he leapt off a nearby roof. "I would've saved her in time!"

"Oh, of course," Aki shot back. "Would that have been before or after you took six wrong turns?"

"Fuck off!" Ryoga spat back while furiously extending his middle finger.

"No thanks, you first!" Aki retorted, right before the Phoenix erupted from the ground, now the size of a school bus. "Uh-oh…!"

"Don't look now, guys. But Big Bird's coming back for more!" Ukyo warned.

"Time to fry that spring chicken!" Kenma exclaimed, pulling his hands back. "Ka! Me! Ha! Me..." he started.

"Wait! Don't do that! You might fry Kuno!" Akane pleaded.

Kenma blinked. "I don't see the problem," he responded, still ready to fire his blast.

"Fools! You've made me even stronger by maturing me!" squawked the Phoenix as it came around for another flying attack.

"Mature THIS!" Kenma snapped, and thrust his hands forward. "HAAAAAAAA!"

The energy blast pinwheeled forth, shooting over Kuno and right at the Phoenix, frying its top half of all its feathers.

Kenma snapped his fingers in annoyance. "Damn!" he exclaimed. "I was going for total immolation!"

"Foolish mortal! The Legendary Phoenix cannot be burned!" the bird stated in the same distorted voice as before.

"And apparently the Legendary Phoenix sure does like to hear itself talk," Tsubasa mused as the bird came flapping back for more.

"Hit the deck!" called Aki as everyone ran for it.

The Phoenix then began to breathe fire as it took off into the air, with Kuno's body limply dangling behind it.

"I thought it was just supposed to attack Akane!" Shampoo exclaimed. "What's going on?!"

Just then, Toramasa popped up again. "Apparently it says that the bigger the Phoenix gets, the more prone it will be to attacking people indiscriminately," he said.

"And you couldn't have said something earlier?" Kodachi muttered, her eyebrow twitching.

"Yes, it's a little late to tell us this vital information, don't you think?" Sasuke agreed.

By now, Soun, Genma and the others had arrived on the scene.

"Good lord, that bird's enormous!" exclaimed Soun.

"I knew nothing good would come of it!" Genma added.

"I dunno," Atsuko shrugged. "Some breadcrumbs, some oil…I bet Kasumi could fry that thing up nicely!"

Meanwhile, Ukyo and Shampoo leapt from rooftop to rooftop while throwing a barrage of spatulas and throwing knives, respectively.

"Quick! Throw some pills in its mouth while it's squawking!" the tomboy chef called out.

"On the double, Ukyo!" Tsubasa responded while pitching some pills to Akimitsu for him to hit into the Phoenix's mouth. The sportsman nodded, and whacked them into the open beak…which caused the bird to expand to the size of a hot-air balloon.

By now, it was swooping over the city, spewing flames and churning up hurricane-force winds!

"Alright, Ryoga. Make yourself useful and sling some pills down its throat!" said Ranma as he ran towards the phoenix on a nearby rooftop.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm slinging, I'm slinging!" snapped Ryoga as he started pelting the pills at the now massive Phoenix.

"Hey, featherbrain!" Tsubasa called out as he leapt into the air disguised as a mailbox and crashed right into the phoenix. "Mail call!"

The bird squawked in pain before having its beak held open by Kodachi's ribbon. Naturally she had to hold on for dear life while she did so.

"I don't know how long this ribbon's gonna hold." the gymnast said. "Keep feeding it more pills!"

"So that what, it expands to the size of a Star Destroyer?!" Kenma shouted.

"Right now it's our only chance of fighting it. Now pelt away!" Kodachi responded.

"Cripes…" Kenma muttered as he started slinging more pellets into the bird's mouth as it came back around for another fly-by. And true to his word, the bird just kept on growing larger and larger with every handful of pellets it swallowed. "I knew this would only make things worse!"

"And I think we're fresh outta growth pills, too." his brother stated.

Kenma gave a light sigh. "...of course," he scoffed. "Because WHY NOT?!"

By now, the sun was low in the sky, and the Phoenix was absolutely FUCKING MASSIVE.

"How is Kuno's neck still holding up?" asked Akane.

"Cartoon logic, sheer determination…or it's just too stupid to know it should break," responded Kodachi. "Take your pick."

"Shouldn't that thing be leaving the nest by now?" wondered Ukyo.

"Nothing doing!" the bird bellowed. "After all, I've grown accustomed to this place! And the head I'm on…so soft, so mushlike!"

"...you dare…call the mind…of Tatewaki Kuno…like mush?!" grunted a voice from beneath his feathered backside, as the bird suddenly felt something prying him off.

"SQWAK!" exclaimed the Phoenix. "What's the meaning of this? How can you resist me? The power I gave you?"

"Because, to surrender to you would be to surrender my very being…" Kuno grunted as he kept pulling. "...and the Blue Thunder shall be NO ONE'S puppet!"

The Phoenix tried to hang onto Kuno's scalp, but as it was pried off it began to glow brighter.

"You would dare turn down my generous offer?" it exclaimed. "Who do you think you are, mortal whelp?!"

"I am the rising star in the kendo world…" Kuno grunted as he summoned his strength to pry the bird off. "...The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School, Tatewaki Kuno! And where there is thunder, THERE SHALL BE LIGHTNING!"

And with a final burst, he forced the Phoenix off his head, and it was sent flapping off into the sky.

…and atop Kuno's head, it left another egg.

Everyone was completely shocked by what had just occurred.

"It's gone…finally gone…" exclaimed Kenma.

"Kuno was actually able to fight that thing?" Ranma wondered in sheer disbelief.

"Say what you will about my brother," Kodachi replied, not even turning away for a second. "But his tenacity is something to be in awe of."

Sasuke quickly scurried over and readjusted Kuno's neck. "Oh, Master Kuno, that was a sight to behold!" he exclaimed. "Are you unharmed?"

Kuno gave a grunt as his spine was readjusted. "I shall live, Sasuke," he replied as he removed the egg from his head and dropped it in Kasumi's hands. "Fry it, boil it, scramble it…do as you please with this horrible thing, so long as I never see it again."

Well…alright then," Kasumi replied. "Who's up for omelet rice?"

"Oooh, definitely me!" Ranma called.

"Same here!" Kenma added.

Kuno gave a simple nod. "We shall not fight this day, Saotomes…for the time being, you have earned my respect," he said calmly, before he left. "Sasuke, sister—follow me."

Sasuke and Kodachi, surprisingly, both headed after him in pursuit.

It had been a very long day.

SOME TIME LATER, IN A DIFFERENT LOCATION…

The Phoenix continued its long flight, now soaring through the skies as it was now over the wilds of China.

This is NOT the end…not by a long shot, it thought furiously. I'll gain more power, and when I do, I will return to Nerima to exact my bloody vengeance.

…alas, that chance would never come, because after it thought that, the Phoenix was immediately struck through the chest by a special arrow, which sent it plunging to the ground.

As the Phoenix crash-landed on the ground, it came to rest at the feet of a tan-skinned, platinum-blonde female, who glanced down at it.

"Look…if you seek power, then I will gladly provide it!" the Phoenix pleaded, begging for its life while trying to ignore the horrible pain it was in.

The female glanced down, her gaze piercing, as though she was lost in thought. But the next words out of her mouth set the Phoenix's blood cold:

"Slay him for food."

As Kiima's subordinates set upon the Phoenix, she watched with a twisted sense of glee.

"We have found the Phoenix's blood…and from a live one, too," she smirked. "Not to mention we've brought back enough meat to stock TWO meat lockers. I know a splendid recipe for fried phoenix—I know the skin is the best part, but you can't turn down the actual meat either—Lord Saffron will be ever so delighted."

And so, more sinister plans are brewing in the background.

Wanna learn how THIS turns out, kids? Keep reading, and stick around for the final season!

IN OUR NEXT EPISODE…

Ranma's finally gonna take Ukyo and Lum out on a date! I mean, he's never done this sort of thing before, but it couldn't hurt to try!

It's a good thing Kenma is doing his best to prevent this date from being a disaster, because there is no shortage of nuisances that would try to get in the way of things—including a certain lecherous student from another one of Rumiko Takahashi's works!

Next time on Ranma 1/2:

"Super-Lucky or Just a Coincidence?
Ranma's 2-for-1 Double Date!"

Read and review, take care, and we'll see you there!