Disclaimer: None of the authors own Mass Effect or Sonic the Hedgehog.

Yet another non-canon omake from Masterweaver. As the following three omakes (minimum) that will be posted in the next few days are. Spacebattles started glitching three omakes ago with how many there are now.

Oh well, enjoy.

APOCRYPHA: Ordinary Weirdness – by Masterweaver

"So," Amy began, "long ago, back when human civilization was just beginning, they got into a habit of domesticating a lot of animals. Chickens to lay eggs, sheep to shear their wool, cows for their milk and meat, dogs as companions and associate protectors. That sort of thing. You'll find a lot of old religions and mythologies putting them into important places."

"Alright..."

"And one of those animals was the horse. Big, brawny, capable of going fast for long stretches of time... a little flighty, they're built to run after all, but slap a saddle on their back and you can ride free for long periods of time. Or strap a harness to them and you can have them pull chariots-basically fancy buckets with wooden wheels, the first vehicles ever."

"Ah." Vilmis nodded in understanding. "I can see how they would become important to a civilization. Facilitate transport and scouting operations."

"Exactly. Granted, they're animals, so people still needed to take care of them. Feed them, groom their pelts, make sure they didn't spook, not tire them out, all that. The bond between a horse and their rider was elevated to an important status symbol over time, there were whole industries and cultural events surrounding them, up to as recently as four hundred years ago." Amy took a breath. "And then somebody invented the automobile."

"And horses became redundant?"

"Not immediately, but pretty quickly. Within a century, cars were about even with horses, and their cultural significance... well, it didn't wane exactly. Horses had been part of civilization for basically all of history, after all. But unlike other domesticated animals, once their function was replaced they couldn't exactly transition to pet status. Too big and flighty. But they couldn't be abandoned to the wild either, they'd been bred for civilization for so long... so owning a horse became a sort of status symbol. If you had one, you had a solid enough income to own a beast that needed specialized care and didn't contribute anything."

"Alright, but I'm still not sure how any of this is relevant."

"I'm getting there, don't worry. So, around this time technological progress was accelerating, and discrimination was... not exactly vanishing, but a lot of people were wondering about the old stereotypes. Women especially were seen as more homekeepers than as leaders in their own right, even when they technically worked the exact same jobs as men. And some authors tapped into the simmering frustration by writing empowering novels-one particular genre that grew popular was the 'horse book', where a young woman wondering what to do with her life would get a job taking care of a horse and find self-empowerment, somehow."

"Because horses culturally represented power for so long that the association remained even to that day?"

"Something along those lines, yeah. Anyway, this went on long enough that the idea of 'women like horses' got baked into pop culture. Then one day, somebody said 'if women like horses, do little girls like little horses?' And lo and behold, one particular breed of horse, known as the pony, was famously small for a horse."

"Ah," Vilmis realized, "and thus there was a wave of children's stories about girls liking ponies."

"Yep. One particular toy company eventually snapped up the idea to make collectible pony figurines, and... well, that was also about the time when companies got the idea to pour their products into pop culture. Marinate for a few decades, and now..."

She gestured to Cream, happily hugging a human in a pony outfit.

"...so this is normal?" Vilmis clarified.

"Mmmyep. I had a bunch of pony dolls when I was her age, and I loved brushing their manes... big selling point, the mane brushing."

"And... how do horse brights feel about this?"

Amy frowned. "...You know, it's the darndest thing, I don't think I've ever heard of horse Brights before."

"Seriously?"

"Nope. Chickens, sheep, dogs, cats, yeah, but horses? Can't think of any." Amy shrugged. "Weird."